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Language:
English
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Published:
2013-02-14
Words:
422
Chapters:
1/1
Kudos:
2
Bookmarks:
2
Hits:
304

Trouble, Trouble, Trouble

Summary:

“You do not set up a hero with a psychopath.”

Forget blind; cupid's mental. Parody of my favorite pairing.

Notes:

Disclaimer: If I owned “Charmed,” Cole wouldn’t have been Phoebe’s “first husband,” he’d have been her only husband.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

                “Coop, do you want to explain this to me?” Phoebe Halliwell asked, shoving a newspaper in her second husband’s face. The black and white photo accompanying the article showed nearby Palm City’s vigilante, the Cape, with his archenemy, the masked villain, Chess. This would not have been strange, in and of itself, as the two were often seen fighting.  But this was the first time they’d been photographed embracing each other.

 

                The witch looked to her husband, a bona fide cupid, for an explanation.

 

                “Well, you see,” Coop began.

 

                “Tell me you’re not responsible for this!” Phoebe demanded.

 

                “Okay, I might have used the ring on them.” Cupids did not, contrary to popular belief, work using bows and arrows. They used special rings to get into people’s heads and plant thoughts of love.

 

                “Are you insane?!” the Charmed one asked. “You do not set up a hero with a psychopath. What were you thinking?”

 

                “I was thinking that those two have caused a lot of trouble and that society would be better off if they were together instead of constantly trying to kill each other!”

 

                “Well, you thought wrong!  Go fix this, now!”

 

                “I can’t do that!” Coop looked at his wife, aghast. “The ring is meant to be used to spread love, not to undo it.”  But the ring could be used either way, as Phoebe well knew. The first time she’d met a cupid, he had asked her and her sisters for help in defeating a dark lighter that had stolen his ring and was using it to spread hate.

 

                “I don’t tell you how to do your job as an advice columnist,” Coop continued. “Don’t tell me how to do my job as a cupid.”

 

~TC~

 

 

                Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on your point of view), not long afterwards a demon did steal a ring from a cupid.  (Phoebe, when asked, denied any involvement.) One of the first couples broken up was the Cape’s, who seemed relieved to have finally come to his senses.

 

                Chess went on to date a series of women and men who, like the Cape, also wanted him dead, until he finally decided he’d be safer in prison and turned himself in. (But not before killing his therapist, who he blamed for not treating his psychosis.)

 

                With Chess, a.k.a. Peter Fleming, behind bars, the Cape, a.k.a. Vince Faraday, finally felt safe enough to return home to his wife, Dana. The couple promptly registered for marriage counseling, which is still ongoing.

 

 

THE END

Notes:

Title from Taylor Swift’s “I Knew You Were Trouble.”