Chapter Text
Kakashi has some good days and he has some bad days. This is more of a medium day.
He’s dozing off at the breakfast table when there’s a knock at the door. He had three nightmares last night and can’t even muster up the will to protest Kushina ordering ramen; someone else can deal with their early-morning guest.
“Namikaze.”
Kakashi is suddenly feeling much more awake. He almost falls out of his chair in his haste to run to the door, and right there, wearing a standard jounin uniform and looking disarmingly human, is Orochimaru.
“Orochimaru-sama?” Sensei is as tired as Kakashi is, and blinks stupidly at the man for a few seconds.
Kakashi panics.
His muscles lock, he loses feeling in his hands, he can hear his breath coming too harsh, too fast. If Orochimaru is a threat, if he’s here to kill sensei or rip Kushina open and study how she works, Kakashi isn’t going to be able to do a damn thing to stop it, he’ll just be standing her uselessly and freaking out.
It takes him a long time to calm down, because he can’t stop imagining all the things Orochimaru might be here to do, what might happen.
“Breathe with me,” sensei says patiently, sitting beside him the whole time.
Having someone sit with him, and talk with him, has proven helpful in the past, but just now Kakashi appreciates Kushina casually menacing Orochimaru much more. She is more than a match for him, he reminds himself over and over. He may want an Uchiha body, but he doesn’t have one yet. She can crush him beneath her heel.
Orochimaru just waits it out, propping up the doorway like he has nothing better to do, holding something that’s too small to be a whole human body.
Kakashi hopes it isn’t body parts.
“Is that a human head?” he asks, when he can speak again.
Sensei makes a sound like a toad being stepped on.
“Why would you think that?” Orochimaru asks. He doesn’t sound offended; merely curious.
“It’s about the right size,” Kakashi says. “And it’s you.”
“I’m not in the habit of carrying human heads around,” Orochimaru says. “Which you wouldn’t know, since I don’t know you, and you don’t know me. It’s unsanitary, and exposing them to the elements adds too many variables.”
“And it would be wrong!” sensei shouts, much louder than really necessary in the small apartment.
“…yes,” Orochimaru says, like this genuinely had not occurred to him.
Kakashi frowns.
“Not that this hasn’t been a delightfully disturbing addition to our morning,” Kushina says, “but what do you even want?”
“Ah, yes. Namikaze, I don’t know how you do it.”
Sensei blinks. “Huh?”
“Do I interfere in your life?”
“Well, yes?” Kushina says. “Seeing as you are right here? Interfering?”
She is ignored. “What I would like, is for the lot of you to leave me alone.”
“This is our apartment,” Kushina points out.
“I woke up out of a sound sleep last night with an overwhelming urge to summon something for no reason, which, unlike certain deviant former teammate of mine, is not something I’m in the habit of. Summons have lives of their own and better things to do than to loiter around the human world. But I can take a hint, and what do I get?” He holds up his burden, which turns out to be a small animal completely cocooned in blankets.
“That’s the weirdest snake I’ve ever seen,” Kushina says.
“Are you blind? It’s a dog!”
“I didn’t know you could summon dogs,” sensei says.
Kakashi doesn’t know if he’s ever seen someone so annoyed. “Are you two complete idiots? Of course I can’t summon dogs. Manda himself turned up; for some reason, he didn’t think I would believe anyone else. Apparently, someone’s idiot student summoned this little miscreant, and it’s been inconsolable ever since. Given that said idiot is unlikely to be summoning anything any time soon, the animals have taken it upon themselves to deliver the bundle of joy, and I happened to be the lucky person who is both in close physical proximity to the summoner and has a summon whose territory borders the dogs.”
“I don’t follow,” sensei says.
But Kakashi does. He jumps up, sending his chair clattering to the floor. “Pakkun!?”
Orochimaru arches one eyebrow. “So that was true? Jiraiya managed to summon himself as a genin, but he was five years older than you, and, well, obviously he did it completely wrong.”
Kakashi ignores that, claiming the little puppy and hugging him tightly.
Pakkun expresses his displeasure by sticking his cold nose in Kakashi’s ear.
Kakashi tries to relax his death-grip a little and starts to cry.
There’s a brief silence.
“Um,” sensei says.
“Shut up,” Orochimaru says. “I can’t believe Jiraiya thinks you’re a genius; actually, given the source, I can. But I don’t. So just be quiet and listen. Boy, I’m certainly not acting as messenger until you’re old enough to summon properly, so you’d better do a good job taking care of it, because if it decides to dismiss itself, you’re just going to have to wait. Don’t mess this up. Or make your sensei go fetch it for you, he has a summoning contract of his own.”
“I summoned him properly,” Kakashi says, offended. “That’s how I got him.”
“Is that it?” sensei asks Orochimaru.
“Yes.” He looks at Kakashi. “You’re interesting.”
Then he leaves.
“He’s… not what I expected,” Kakashi says.
Kushina and sensei look at each other, and visibly decide not to comment.
“Well,” Kushina says, “I guess we’re getting a dog.”
They spend the whole morning collecting supplies. Kakashi has no intention of neglecting Pakkun, both for his own sake and because he doesn’t want to wait years to see him again.
They spend two hours in the first store looking for a little dog bed. Kakashi had always let his pack sleep on his bed (or bedroll, or the ground, basically wherever he happened to be when he summoned them), and hadn’t even known dog beds were a thing, so he already knows that he can’t trust his own knowledge to make sure Pakkun has everything he needs. He asks the owner a couple of questions, and then he has Pakkun try out the different beds to see which one he likes.
The owner tries to insist that that isn’t allowed, but how else would you know? Kakashi isn’t a dog.
Kushina yells at the man until he stops complaining, and eventually they find the perfect bed.
Sensei insists they take a break at that point, even though it’s still early, and they end up at a barbecue restaurant. Kushina announces that she’s not hungry and is going to go take care of something, which would have made Kakashi instantly suspicious but he’s busy trying to tempt Pakkun into eating something. Is he too little to eat meat? Kakashi just doesn’t have that much experience with dogs this young. By the time he met his pack the first time around, they fed and bossed him.
Especially Pakkun.
Sensei keeps making comments about not letting the dog on the table, but he isn’t anywhere near the fire, Kakashi isn’t an idiot.
Kushina turns up again just as they’re finishing, and she has a young Inuzuka Tsume in tow.
Sensei signals for another menu as Kakashi immediately starts peppering her with questions. This woman is (going to be?) head of the Inuzuka clan, and is the undisputed authority on dog care.
Kakashi already has a food bowl from when he decorated his room, and the dog bed from this morning, but with Tsume’s help, they find food, a water bowl, soap, a little brush, and toys in time for sensei to be only slightly late for his shift.
“I’m going to owe Tsume a favor for the next ten years,” sensei says on his way out the door.
Sometimes Kakashi doesn’t understand him.
Tsume even promises to send over some ideas for an appropriate training regimen, because the last thing Kakashi wants is to push Pakkun too hard, but he also can’t let himself forget that he’s a summon, not a pet, and a sentient being in his own right.
Kakashi suspects it won’t be long before Pakkun surpasses him and asserts himself as the head of this little pack. But until then, he needs to be fed, shown how to get outside (sensei promises to talk to the super tomorrow about installing dog doors), bathed (he still hates that, but Kakashi insists), and tucked into bed.
“Well, I suppose this gives us a new bedtime routine,” Kushina says.
That’s a good point. Little Pakkun is drooping by eight, so Kakashi decides that just this once he won’t complain about having to go to bed at such a ridiculously early hour. He tucks Pakkun into his cute little bed, then settles it on his futon and finds a comfortable position, using one side as a pillow.
“I think you’ve missed the point,” sensei says.
“Hush,” Kushina says. “This is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.”
Kakashi smiles at his tiny friend. He’s young, and it won’t ever be exactly the same, but he’s still Pakkun.
He closes his eyes and goes to sleep.
~*~
Kakashi dreams about Rin’s death. The frantic race to reach her in time, leaving two comrades exhausted somewhere behind him. The fight against her (false) attackers, always hovering right on the edge of impossible. Dragging her to Konoha, ignoring her protests. Her blood. Her smile. Her last breath on his face.
Then he really can feel that breath, but that’s not right, because he was wearing a mask, and anyway, she’s dead. He opens his eyes, but it’s dark. He’s in the study, in his bed, and… Pakkun is licking his face.
“I hate that,” Kakashi whispers.
Pakkun rolls over onto his face, and Kakashi falls back asleep.
~*~
“Good morning, sleepyhead,” Kushina says.
“Meh,” Kakashi says into his pillow.
“Time to wake up!”
Pakkun yips.
“Okay, okay,” Kakashi says, forcing himself to leave the comfortable nest of blankets. He’d just as soon keep sleeping, but Pakkun needs his breakfast.
Once he’s sure Kakashi is up, Pakkun trots out the door and into the kitchen, leaving his human to stumble along behind him.
Kakashi finds the special mix Tsume recommended and measures it out into Pakkun’s bowl, only then becoming aware of sensei watching him from the breakfast table.
“What?”
“I haven’t decided if I’m very happy or very annoyed,” sensei says.
“Um, okay?”
“How did you sleep last night?”
Ah. “Fine. I had a nightmare, but I fell asleep again before I got up.” Kakashi bites his lip. “Was that bad?”
“No, that’s… that’s great.”
“Told you,” Kushina says.
“Can we get a different table?” Kakashi asks. “This is too narrow, and Pakkun is feeling left out.”
Sensei sighs.
~*~
A few days later, Kakashi and Pakkun get some time to themselves. Pakkun has not been well-behaved at sensei’s office and Kushina has a mission, so Kakashi is being allowed to watch himself for a whole afternoon. It’s boring to just sit around the apartment by himself, and sensei took all the interesting books for his research, so Kakashi and Pakkun are walking around the village. Sensei suggested he try talking to people, but right now he’s just talking to Pakkun.
Tsume’s advice basically boiled down to: summons are smarter than us, teach him to speak human and then he’ll tell you what’s best for him. Until then, make sure he exercises, but don’t try any ninja training.
So, walking.
If Kakashi moves at a normal civilian speed, and Pakkun stretches his little legs, neither gets left behind. This isn’t Kakashi’s preferred way to get around, but he doesn’t need to be told that it’s insulting to Pakkun’s dignity to be carried, and despite his valiant efforts to keep up with Kakashi, he isn’t quite ready to jump on rooftops yet.
Though Kakashi has had to cover his smile a few times imagining this tiny version of Pakkun taking the ANBU patrol routes. Even the lowest buildings are at least twenty times his height.
There are a bunch of people buying food at the market, and Kakashi and Pakkun amuse themselves tracking scents for a while. Pakkun is only interested in food scents, but there are plenty to choose from in the large, crowded market.
“Hey, watch where you’re going!”
Kakashi doesn’t move an inch. “Maybe you should take your own advice, you almost stepped on Pakkun.”
The other boy sneers at him. “Why don’t you run on home, kid? We’re playing ninja here!”
“Who’s a kid?” Kakashi demands, jerking a thumb at his hitai-ate.
“No way!”
There, now he can tell sensei he talked to someone. Kakashi heads off in the opposite direction.
Unfortunately, there are more kids down this way. The Academy must have let out. It seems there’s a fight going on, which Kakashi wants nothing to do with. Maybe Pakkun will forgive him a ride, just this once.
Kakashi narrows his eyes. Actually, it looks less like a fight and more like four guys beating up on another one. He doesn’t remember much from his own Academy days, but while rejecting teams as a new jounin-sensei, Kakashi learned that too many Academy students think being a ninja is the same as being a bully. This lot will learn that that’s false or they’ll wash out, their victim will learn to protect himself or he’ll wash out; it’s not really any of Kakashi’s business.
“You’re trash, just like your father!” one kid yells.
“Yeah, loser!” his friend says, then kicks the boy on the ground.
Okay, fuck it. If their victim is embarrassed about being rescued by a kid, he can just deal with it.
Kakashi takes a few seconds to push Pakkun into a mostly clean box behind a trash bin, then dives into the fray.
The four bullies are bigger and stronger than he is, but who isn’t? He guesses they’re getting ready to graduate—or fail, as seems much more likely.
He introduces himself by kicking someone in the back of the knee. It buckles, the kid stumbles, and Kakashi uses his back as leverage to leap into the air and scissor kick two of the idiots in the face. That pretty much uses up the advantage of surprise, and after that he loses track of the fight, dodging blows and striking back whenever an opening presents itself.
The whole fight takes maybe two minutes, and then there are four boys groaning on the ground and one covering his head.
And Kakashi doesn’t freak out once. He’d tell sensei about it, but then he’d never be allowed outside again, and also beating up on civilian kids isn’t exactly noteworthy.
“Hey, you okay?” Kakashi asks, offering the kid he rescued a hand up.
Kakashi ends up being pulled to the ground instead.
“Are you okay?” the kid asks, peering anxiously at Kakashi from two inches away.
Kakashi just gawks at him.
It’s Gai.
Many of Kakashi’s best memories involve this man, but naturally the one his mind chooses to dwell on is Gai pressing the Hokage mantle against his chest, fire and determination in his face as he goes to his death.
“Hey, hey, did you hit your head?”
“Uh… no,” Kakashi croaks.
“How did you do that? That was awesome!”
“Um, practice.”
“I practice all the time, but I can’t do that. And you’re so little!”
That wakes Kakashi’s brain up. “I’m not little! I’m almost seven!”
“Well I’m ten, so that makes you little!”
Kakashi can’t really argue with that logic.
“Do you go to the Academy? I don’t remember seeing you.”
“I graduated already,” Kakashi says. He feels equal to getting up now, and he steps on someone’s hand without remorse on his way back to Pakkun.
“Really? That’s so cool.”
Kakashi smiles a little. Some things never change.
“Are you on a ninja mission? Spies? Assassins? Assassinating spies?”
“Just walking my dog,” Kakashi says.
“Oh. Is it a ninja dog?”
“Yeah, he is.”
“Cool.”
Kakashi brushes some dirt off Pakkun, who looks deeply annoyed at being left in a box. “If you want to fight, you have to get stronger first.”
“Me?”
“I mean Pakkun. But I guess you, too. If some idiots are talking shit about your dad, just punch them.”
“Oh. You heard that?”
“Yeah. Don’t worry, I get it.”
“You do?”
Kakashi stops, but Gai just looks sort of confused. “You don’t recognize me? The Hatake brat? My dad was the village disgrace for like eight months.”
“Oh, Hatake,” Gai says. Then he flushes. “I, uh, didn’t hear about that.”
Gai is a terrible liar, Kakashi thinks fondly. “It doesn’t matter.”
“I thought he was a hero now?”
“Now that he’s dead, yeah.”
“Oh. Sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. Sensei and Kushina-san are looking after me.” Kakashi doesn’t really want to have this conversation, not even with Gai. “So are you playing ninja or something?”
Gai looks away. “No. None of the other kids want to play with me.”
Oh. “Sorry,” Kakashi says lamely.
“It doesn’t matter. I should go help my dad, anyway. Uh, I mean…”
“You don’t have to lie, it’s not like I want everyone else to be an orphan, too,” Kakashi says. He doesn’t actually know anything about Gai’s family, or what his life and career were like before they intersected Kakashi’s, which makes him feel like a really shitty friend. “What are you helping him with?”
“Missions and stuff.”
“Your dad’s a ninja?”
“Yeah! And one day, I’m going to be an awesome ninja, too!”
“Definitely.”
Gai turns to look at him. “You really think so?”
Kakashi is a little taken aback. “Of course. Why not?”
“Because no one thinks I can do it? Because I’m still in the baby class even though kids my age are graduating already? And kids your age, apparently.”
Kakashi takes the time to think before he opens his mouth again. He didn’t meet Gai until he was a successful and valued jounin, and criticism of his total ineptitude with anything not taijutsu and his ebullient personality just rolled off him. But Gai had implied—and outright stated—that he was a lot like Lee when he was younger, and Lee was very insecure in himself and his abilities until he finally passed the chuunin exam.
He still hasn’t thought of something to say when they arrive in the civilian district. There’s a fair bit of new construction going on down here, and Kakashi spots a genin team carrying wooden beams down the road. Maybe Gai’s father is their sensei? Gai was such a good jounin-sensei, after all, maybe this is where he learned it.
Kakashi is wondering if he’ll recognize Gai’s father when he sees him, then he does and wonders how he could ever have thought that. The man looks exactly like a grown-up Gai in every way, except for the most unfortunate mustache to ever exist. Kakashi can’t stop staring at it.
“Dad!” Gai shouts, right in Kakashi’s ear.
It’s pretty much like watching Gai and Lee interact, Kakashi thinks, so long as he doesn’t look at the mustache. If he holds his hand up he can sort of block it from view.
“Who’s your friend?” the man asks.
“Oh! This is…” Gai leans over and whispers, loudly, “What’s your name?”
Kakashi bites back a laugh. “Kakashi,” he whispers back.
“This is Kakashi!” Gai announces to the whole street. “And this is my dad, Maito Dai! My name’s Gai, by the way.”
“Hatake?” Dai asks.
Kakashi tries not to roll his eyes. “Yeah, that’s me.”
Now that the mustache isn’t distracting him, he notices one other key difference between this man and Gai. He isn’t wearing a flak jacket.
Now, it could just be a style choice. Virtually all chuunin wear the jacket constantly, but jounin don’t always.
“You’re Namikaze’s boy?” Dai asks.
“I-I guess,” Kakashi stutters. He’s never been referred to that way before.
“So what are you boys up to?”
“We came to help!” Gai declares.
Dai smiles. “That isn’t really necessary, son. You can go and play with your friends.”
“I want to help, and Kakashi said he would, too!”
Dai looks at Kakashi, who shrugs.
“Well, I suppose you do these sorts of missions anyway… I could try and put your name on the roster?”
“Don’t worry about it,” Kakashi says quickly. The last thing he needs is for sensei to find out that he’s volunteering for missions when he’s supposed to be on leave.
“If you’re sure…”
“Come on, I’ll show you what to do!” Gai shouts, pulling Kakashi along by the back of his shirt.
Except for the genin carrying wood, everyone here is an adult. Gai seems to be a regular feature, as no one pays him any mind, but a few of them look askance at Kakashi.
He ignores them. Just let them try and throw him out. There have to be some advantages to being That Hatake Brat.
In Kakashi’s inexpert opinion, Gai is big for a ten-year-old. Certainly he’s taller and more muscular than Sasuke or Naruto, and they were eleven, or were they twelve? Twelve is basically the same as ten, right? Anyway, Gai’s job turns out to be pretty much the same as the genin: take a thing, move it someplace else. And he’s good at it. No wonder he always won those rock-carrying challenges.
Well, Kakashi can carry stuff, too.
Except maybe he can’t, because after an embarrassingly brief time Kakashi is starting to get really tired. He casts a quick glance at Gai, who is sweating and obviously working hard, but hasn’t lost his rhythm at all as he moves rocks from one pile to another.
Pakkun trots along beside Kakashi, offering moral support, and he knows it’s foolish and immature but he desperately does not want to admit that this might possibly be too much for him.
Fortunately for his pride, he’s interrupted by a familiar chakra signature.
Unfortunately in every other possible way, it’s Orochimaru.
“Dog Boy.”
Great. On a scale of nicknames, that ranks below Copy Ninja, but way above Friend-killer so he supposes he can live with it. Maybe Namikaze’s boy will catch on.
At least his annoyance keeps him from freaking out.
“Orochimaru-sama,” he says politely. He can’t really imagine Orochimaru doing manual labor. What is he doing here?
“You really summoned that dog.”
Kakashi raises an eyebrow. “Yes?”
“And why couldn’t you summon it again?”
“I knocked myself unconscious from chakra exhaustion,” Kakashi says. “I almost died.”
“That should not have happened.”
In his most of his previous encounters with Orochimaru, Kakashi was too busy trying not to die to really see how irritating the man is. “Well, obviously I wasn’t very good at it.”
“No, you were too good at it. Very unusual.”
Kakashi hasn’t made any real effort to conceal his skills, partly because trauma keeps him from using most of them, but also because he’s confident that even if anyone notices something odd, they won’t guess the true cause. But Orochimaru’s interest has him worried. Who can fathom how the man’s mind works?
“You knew I was here before I spoke.”
It wasn’t a question, so Kakashi doesn’t respond.
“Follow me.”
Yeah, that’s not happening. “I don’t have to listen to you,” Kakashi says. “You’re not in my direct chain of command, and I’m on medical leave.”
Orochimaru frowns. “I am a jounin and you are a genin. I could make you listen to me.”
“You could carry me. You could beat me in battle. But you can’t make me listen to you.”
“Hmm,” Orochimaru says. “Very well, I concede the point. Follow me anyway.”
Kakashi huffs, annoyed. Maybe if he just goes along with this Orochimaru will go away faster. He doesn’t really think anything is going to happen in the middle of the village, in broad daylight, in front of a dozen civilians and a genin team.
But if Orochimaru starts trying to lead him into any secret laboratories, Kakashi is calling it quits.
He chases Orochimaru across partially finished rooftops, along support beams and across a pool of filthy water. It’s all pretty pointless, and he’s starting to think Orochimaru’s later madness was just a sign of, well, madness.
“Now carry that,” Orochimaru says, pointing to an immense cinderblock, “to there.” He points to the top of a roof.
This is just a waste of time.
They’ve gathered a crowd, including Gai.
Gai whistles. “Can you really do that?”
Dammit. Now Kakashi is going to actually do it.
The block is extremely heavy, and doesn’t offer much by way of good handgrips. But chakra can compensate for all manner of ills, and he eventually gets it up onto his back and manages a fast walk up the wall.
Orochimaru bends his knees, then executes a vertical leap right up onto the same roof.
Showoff.
And then he pushes Kakashi off the roof.
The rock tries to fall first, but Kakashi twists in the air and gets underneath it. He channels a burst of chakra into his feet as he lands, overcompensating and leaving a small crater. Embarrassing. But he gets the balance in his arms and back just right, and the block doesn’t so much as bump him.
“Hmm,” Orochimaru says.
“That was so cool!” Gai shouts. “I can’t wait to be a ninja!”
Kakashi sways a bit, setting his block down. “Are we done yet?”
“What exactly is going on over here?” Gai’s father asks. “O-Orochimaru-sama? Can I, er, help you with something? Sir?”
“I’m just escorting this boy home,” Orochimaru says, and Kakashi barely has time to scoop up Pakkun before the man clamps a hand on his shoulder and half drags him back to sensei’s apartment.
The door opens before they even reach it.
“Kakashi, I was starting to wor— Orochimaru-sama, what a surprise.”
“You’re an idiot,” Orochimaru says.
Sensei grits his teeth but doesn’t say anything.
Kakashi decides to take advantage of unique opportunities and kicks Orochimaru in the shin.
Orochimaru just ignores him. “A boy that can summon at his age will be an asset to the village if you don’t let him burn himself out first.”
Sensei takes a moment to parse that out, then turns on Kakashi. “Have you been sneaking off to train again?”
“No,” Kakashi mutters. “I was just helping Gai. We were moving stuff at his father’s construction site. I didn’t even do as much as he did. And then Orochimaru showed up and made me run around for no reason.”
“Your little friend is older, taller and stronger than you,” Orochimaru says. “And used to hard labor. You are scrawny and underfed and short.”
Kakashi crosses his arms and scowls. He’d kick him again, but Orochimaru has moved.
“You are using chakra to compensate for your physical weakness,” Orochimaru says. “And you do it better than most jounin. Not just anyone could have compensated so smoothly after that fall.”
Kakashi… hadn’t thought of that. It’s second nature to constantly be using his chakra, to regulate the Sharingan, to support the ankle that’s been broken so many times the bone has just given up, to keep going when he’s at the end of his reserves… but none of that is true now. Chakra can compensate for body weakness when necessary, but using it instead of building strength is lazy, and a good way to get killed when you’re in a desperate situation and discover you’ve been wasting chakra on what should have been built by hard work.
Huh. Maybe this is why he can’t seem to scrape together enough chakra for any ninjutsu.
“You fell?” sensei asks. Because of course that’s the part he fixates on.
Kakashi scowls. “He pushed me off a roof!”
“I wanted to see what would happen,” Orochimaru says. “And I confirmed my theory.”
Sensei is starting to look like Kushina in a temper. He whirls on Orochimaru. “You, get out of my house.” Then he turns to Kakashi, who takes a step back. “You, inside. We’ll talk about this chakra thing later. What were you even doing on the roof?”
Kakashi, fuming, marches into the house. None of this is his fault!
~*~
Sensei calms down, eventually. He introduces himself to Maito Dai, and the two work out a sort of timeshare where Kakashi gets supervised four afternoons a week and Gai spends weekends with them.
“I can watch myself!” Kakashi protests, though he waits until they’re back at the apartment. No need to be rude to Gai’s father.
“Pushed. Off. A roof,” sensei says.
At least he still gets to spend one afternoon a week at sensei’s office, and Kushina still teaches him about seals when she’s home.
He stops using his chakra all the time, and spends a horrible two weeks where it feels like he can barely crawl out of bed. But it passes, and after that he’s able to talk sensei into real training, not just conditioning exercises.
Well, sensei’s idea of real training, anyway.
He has to go to therapy two mornings a week, but it could be worse. Mostly they just sit and stare at each other for an hour, but sometimes he gets some useful advice about coping with panic attacks, and his therapist actually helps him convince sensei that returning to training would be a ‘good sign of positive progress’.”
His nightmares lessen, and he sometimes goes whole weeks between panic attacks.
Pakkun grows, and learns to talk, and Kakashi was exactly right that he wasn’t going to stay boss dog for long.
Kushina and sensei obsess over him constantly, even though they both have jobs and lives of their own, and Kakashi is perfectly capable of taking care of himself, thank you very much.
Things… things are okay. And Kakashi thinks that, maybe someday, he might be okay, too.