Chapter Text
Dean stopped for a second unsure of what to say, what could he say?? Sam wanted him, wanted him as more than a brother and Dean owed him everything and would give him anything but he didn't know if he could give him 'that'.
''I mean are you sure?'' was all that actually came out of his mouth.... it was lame. Sam began to laugh but it wasn't his usual deep throated laugh that was reserved for movies and Dean's lame jokes. no. this laugh was dry and hollow.
''Hell! of course I'm sure Dean, don't you think this bothers me as much as it bothers you? to think I'm in love with my own brother! do you think I wanted this?''
''No it's just what about Amanda and Ruby? Sammy what about Jess? I mean you loved Jess right? that wasn't just an act, I know, I was there I saw you fall apart when that shit went down'' Sam was shaking his head now.
''No I loved Jess alright,the only person in the whole world that could take my mind off you, one of the reasons I wanted to get away from you so badly in the first place because how could I get over you when you were always around''Dean said nothing, what could he say, there it was in black and white, how could Sam get over Dean when he was always there but then neither of them wanted the other to leave, Dean was dimly aware that he was probably the more selfish party in that but he didn't want to admit it.
''Besides Dean, look what happened to Jess'' and there was the other factor that had been bothering Dean, even if Sam could move on, find someone he actually loved as much or maybe more than Dean ( and Dean wasn't sure how he felt about that either) it would mean embroiling them into their already fucked up insane lives that frequently resulted in anyone they cared about... and well just anyone around them for that matter getting killed or seriously hurt, and he could understand completely why Sam wouldn't want to risk that.
''Ok... so I mean... how do you want to do this?..... do you want to give this a go?'' he couldn't believe what he was offering, and what about Cas? but then he knew he could never really choose Cas over Sam, that, that would never be an option, anything or anyone else definitely! but not Sam. never Sam, his little brother came first before everything.
''Jesus Dean! no! how creepy is that?''
''What you're calling me creepy? you're the one with a penchant for incest here.... I'm just rolling along with it'' Sam visibly blanched
''Sorry Sammy, I didn't mean to..it just came out'' Dean instantly regretted the harsh words
''It's fine...really but just please don't suggest that again''
''Well what then? ''
''Nothing is what, the same as we have always been, do you really think I could do those 'things' with you knowing that you don't really want them?''
''Maybe I would grow to want them'' but even Dean could hear the uncertainty in his own voice
''I doubt it... but anyway aside from not being prepared to fuck you into the mattress every night knowing it's not really what you want... oh and please forgive me for that Dean'' Sam glared at him before continuing ''you're in love with someone else!'' Dean stepped back... so Sam knew.... well obviously he would know, Sam knew him better than anyone and Dean had always hoped he would just know about Cas anyway because he never wanted to have to explain it. Didn't want the chick flick moment.
''Yeah well nothing is gonna happen there... especially not now anyway''
''Why not?''
''Because I'm making you miserable enough, without adding to it by taking up with another man!'' and he realized how absurd and stupid that sounded as he rolled it off his tongue, he had certainly never expected to be saying that especially not to Sam, and Sam was laughing again but this time it sounded more real. more like him.
''Nothing has to change between us, I'm not miserable Dean, I've dealt with this for a long time I know it's not going to happen and it shouldn't happen. It's not right we're brothers for heaven's sake! lets face it if our lives were like most normal people this unhealthy attachment that we have would never of occurred and these feelings are probably more of a product of environment and upbringing than anything else''
''Have you been psycho analyzing yourself Sammy?
''No...well maybe... just a little, but anyhow the point is you aren't making me miserable, I would be more miserable if we were separated, I know our lives are anything but perfect but I wouldn't trade them. not these days anyway, and as for Cas... you gotta figure that one out for yourself because well... being in love with an angel is probably going to bring you a shit load more problems as if we don't have enough already, but I don't want to be a deciding factor between you guys, I want you do be happy Dean and Cas? well he's pretty cool too''
''What about you though? I mean.... won't you feel like.. resentment?''
''How well do you know me?''
''Well that's true you always did like to play the martyr Bitch''
''Jerk'' Sam responded grinning slightly
''Fuck off''
Dean could totally do this.... he could go forward with normal.... well normal for them anyhow and he could totally find Sam another Jess..... there had to be someone else out there for his idiot little brother right?
When Dean found Cas in the kitchen they just stared at each other for a long time they didn't need to talk..... finally Castiel crossed the room and took Dean's hands.
''Do you want to try this Dean? or do you want me to walk away for a while, leave you to sort things out with Sam?''
''No.. Cas... I think.. I think I'd like to..to'' but he was cut off by soft warm lips engulfing his own.
The End
A/N sooo I finally felt like this story had come to it's natural conclusion as it was only ever meant to be 3/4 chapters and somehow turned into 8months and twelve chapters later, I think it's a fairly happy ending as promised but sorry if it disappoints. Hope you have enjoyed and any comments and Kudos of gratefully received. :)