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Chapter 7: I'll be waiting

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Soon the Occlumency lessons became a regular fixture in Albus' schedule, and at the same speed with which Snape's grasp of the difficult magical technique grew Albus started to feed him knowledge about the Order and its strategy. He didn't quite offer Snape the names of other members of the Order, but instead started to talk about general concepts and strategic goals, and quickly discovered that Tom had known exactly what he had been doing when he had picked Snape as one of his advisors for battle strategy.

He wasn't sure what surprised him more: the ease with which Snape slipped into his new role as strategic advisor to Albus, or the speed at which he picked up on Occlumency and, tied into it, Legilimency. Both were obscure and difficult practices that required a high level of control and magical resources, but Snape proved to have a good grip on his own powers and a solid idea of what he could do combined with the will to push his own boundaries as fast as possible. Albus had been a teacher all his life, but he had never taught anyone Occlumency before. His approach turned out to be rather direct and without any pedagogical components, and Snape reacted well to it.

But Snape was far from being a perfect student. Impatient with others and himself his temper could easily sour their sessions, and more than once Albus felt like he was wrangling a large beast instead of teaching useful lessons. Snape tended to complain about not having enough time for practise, about Albus being too easy on him or too lenient, greedily reaching for any morsel of knowledge and being offended when he felt Albus was withholding anything. They had arguments and heated conversations, but in the end Snape could always be lured back in with the promise of longer lessons, more information, hidden knowledge.

And he kept his side of their deal from the very beginning, providing Albus with the information he wanted, naming people involved in Tom's little army Albus had never suspected of being followers of the dark wizard, explaining the hierarchy and rituals that had been built around Riddle as their central focal point. It very quickly became obvious that the movement was far less structured than Albus had expected, much more centred on Tom himself, who was clever enough to obscure what was actually going on.

But apparently not well enough. It didn't take long for Albus to understand that Snape was much more curious than he let on and had already spent quite a bit of time figuring out what was going on around him, having acquired knowledge that he wasn't supposed to have, no matter how high his standing in the hierarchy of evil actually was. And he was surprisingly forthcoming with information, finding ways to contact Albus to let him know about new developments as they happened, passing warnings on, saving lives.

He was also open about his own participation in the many horrific acts Riddle demanded his followers carry out, not sparing himself when he reported to Albus, telling things as they were, recounting the horrors curse by curse in composed, neutral fashion. He was powerfully eloquent, yet detached enough to communicate easily with Albus, straight to the point. And yet Albus couldn't brush the feeling off that there were things Snape was keeping from him, small things only, nothing that could taint the worth of the information he was carrying. Snape knew more than he told Albus, that much was for sure. But despite this Albus was pleased with the situation, slowly, very slowly, building confidence in his new spy.

A few weeks in Albus decided to start introducing Snape to Order members. His first try with his right-hand woman Minerva McGonagall ended in a spectacular disaster at the end of which Snape stormed off in a cloud of dark anger and Minerva seriously questioned Albus' sanity right along with his decision to pick the young man as his personal spy. The conflict lasted for several weeks before a careful truce could be forged between them, a working agreement that was mostly built on the fact that they weren't exactly seeing a lot of each other anyway. Based on this experience Albus decided to keep the rest of the Order away from Snape for the moment, wanting to leave the inevitable great fallout of the introduction until after Snape's name had been cleared by the Wizengamot and he had at least that official recognition to back his plan. It took longer than Albus had expected to sort this particular piece of his general plan of action out, but in the middle of December it was finally all arranged, with the necessary people either persuaded or bribed well enough.

Albus picked an evening shortly after Christmas to apparate into Oxford. It wasn't very late but already dark on this snowy evening, and Albus found the street where Snape lived deserted and empty. The windows of his flat were dark, and having a fairly solid idea where Snape would be on a night as such if he wasn't at home Albus turned on his heel and took the chance of being the only pedestrian around to disapparate again from the middle of the street.

Five minutes later he strode through the gatehouse of St. Aurelius, the wizarding college Snape was currently finishing is graduate degree at and of which Albus had fond memories from his long gone days as a student there. He passed through the snowed in main quad without anyone seeing him, ducked through an arched doorway into the much smaller Gerber Quad and marched straight into the laboratory tract. It was calm and quite, the holiday leaving its mark on the college's population.

Most of the laboratories were deserted, their doors locked. It was only behind the door with the number eight on it that he heard movement, and he knocked sharply once before simply letting himself into the large room.

It was brightly lit, and while one half of it was clean and empty the other side was occupied. Bent over a row of three small cauldrons Snape stood dressed in a dirty laboratory coat, hair tied back out of his face. Next to the three tripods a large book and a notebook were placed on the bench, just out of reach so they couldn't catch any sparks from the fire burning underneath the cauldrons. Even standing in the doorway Albus heard the bubbling sounds of the boiling liquid inside the cauldrons, smoke rising from all three of them in dark purple. Three wooden spoons stirred the mixtures in perfectly synchronised circles. The air was heavy with thick layers of a flowery, earthy scent.

Snape was focused on his work, bestowing nothing but a short glance on Albus before he returned to his cauldrons, concentrating on the circular movements of the spoons and the regular rising of the smoke. He seemed to count seconds or a rise of temperature, his lips moving silently. Then he nodded, turning to the notebook and scribbling something into a margin before returning to the cauldrons, the pencil carelessly tucked behind his ear. He didn't look up again or bother with a formal greeting.

"What can I do for you?"

They hadn't seen each other for two weeks, the busy holiday season an excuse for Albus to take a break from their Occlumency lessons. Snape hadn't complained, apparently being grateful for a few days off so he could focus on his actual work in Oxford, where he was running a rather large and complicated experiment that was designed to be turned into a thesis one day.

Albus smiled at the young man, sensing that he would notice it even without looking. The magical saturation in the room was dense, and Albus felt it prickling on his skin. Snape had been working in this very lab for a longer period of time, using larger quantities of magic, and decidedly not only the Ministry-approved type of magic. It was that and the scent filling the lab that told Albus in unclear terms that whatever Snape was working on had probably nothing to do with his Guild-approved current project.

"There's a few things I would like to discuss with you."

Snape peered into the middle cauldron and moved his hand to adjust the fire underneath it. "This will take a while." He didn't sound overly apologetic.

"I have time on my hands. Would you mind if I stayed and observed?"

Snape seemed surprised for a moment, but then shrugged. "If you insist."

Looking around Albus saw a coat hanger in the corner of the room and focused his attention on it for a moment. Obediently the object transformed into a comfortable easy chair, complete with cushions just perfectly stuffed to support his slightly aching back. Slipping out of his muggle winter coat and draping it over the back of the new chair he seated himself comfortably. He just considered asking Snape for something else to transform into a useful footstool when he noticed the sour glance thrown his way.

"No more magic, it will disturb the balance."

It was the first rule of working in a laboratory to control the amount of magic saturating the atmosphere in the room. Various ingredients could react to leftover magic, leading to uncontrollable situations where an explosion was sometimes the least terrible thing that could happen. Albus knew this, of course, but was also tightly in control of his own power and thus fairly sure he wasn't leaving any residual magic flying around. Still Snape was technically absolutely right, and all that remained for Albus was to nod and make do with. With a relaxed sigh he leant back into the comfort of the easy chair, registering the slight furrowing of the brow announcing the growing annoyance Snape was harbouring towards his guest.

He considered offering Snape to entertain him with the latest magical news, but he had barely opened his mouth when Snape muttered an unfavourable answer under his breath. With a dark glare in Albus' direction he extended his left hand and gestured towards the easy chair Albus was seated in with a non-descript circular movement of the wrist.

The slight shift in the magical potency in the laboratory felt most curious, and Albus bit down a sarcastic comment about keeping to one's own rules. Instead he carefully reached out to touch the invisible barrier descending in front of him. His fingers skimmed over the slightly sticky surface of the spell, toying with the gooey quality of the barrier that Snape had used to effectively soundproof his working space from any unwanted chatter. It was an absolutely impertinent and bratty thing to do, yet so much in character that Albus couldn't help but smile while he prodded the spell before him, feeling the magic tingle against his skill.

It was an interwoven textual type of spell that he hardly saw these days, multilayered and nicely executed. Fascinated Albus reached out again, slowly allowing his own magic to unfold from its usual hiding place, mentally latching to the barrier spell and disentangling the various layers slowly and carefully. The very baseline was an easy Ericius spell, with a Confuto layer used to specify its function, but the construction was solid and without any gaps. Silencing charms came a dime a dozen in broad variety, but this one had a few tweaks to it that ensured that it didn't work within the already existing space of a room like ordinary silencing spells did, but constructed its own shape within larger spaces, enabling its use in tightly packed surroundings. It essentially worked like a magical bell jar, shielding Snape from anything anyone would say around him. It looked and felt like a creative solution with a few rough edges, something Snape had probably come up a while ago to ensure he could work whenever and under whatever circumstances. Chatty old men or air raid, he had a calm space where he could isolate himself from his surroundings.

The spell wasn't complicated per se but well-woven, and cast with a bit more magic than would have been necessary to power it, something Albus had already identified as a pattern with Snape's magic. It was a bad habit magically speaking, but went well with the general character of the man as Albus had gotten to know him by now. He certainly wasn't doing things by halves, never mind if the thing in question was a difficult potion or betraying a dark wizard who'd certainly murder him for it brutally if given the chance.

Letting the spell go and do its job Albus looked up again. Snape had moved from watching the fire to taking small samples from the cauldrons, each in individual test tubes he was holding into a fourth fire to increase the heat. The smells seemed to intensify by the minute, and Albus' mind jumped from examining the spell to analysing what he was smelling. His analytical mind took to the task happily, categorising scents and sorting through possible ingredients, heat processes and functions. Running through various combinations and options Albus settled on the potion in question being closely related to Veritasserum. But there was something different in there as well, and Albus couldn't quite put his finger on it.

Allowing himself to sink into contemplation he continued to watch Snape, whose intense focus didn't seem to lessen. He looked stern in his concentration, but also unnaturally pale in the harsh light of the laboratory. The brightness wasn't doing him any favours, casting deep shadows on his thin face and enhancing the dark circles under his eyes. By now Albus had gotten used to the fact that Snape always looked like he could use a weekend of sleep and a good meal, no matter what day of the week or time it was. He seemed to fray slightly along the edges, pushing just a little bit too hard in his academic endeavours and now in his new job as a spy.

Like this an hour passed, and then Snape was done. The fires under the cauldrons died down slowly, perfectly in synch, and the smoke started to evaporate. A spell cooled the cauldrons at the exact same time, and another time-coded freezing spell would ensure the potion could sit for the exact time that was needed. Walking over to his notebook Snape took a few final notes, then closed the books and dropped the pencil. Stretching his shoulders a little bit he reached out and pulled the silencing spell back. But instead of dissolving it he enlarged the shape so it covered the walls of the entire laboratory, soundproofing the room. He wanted to talk, it seemed, and he preferred not to be eavesdropped on.

Sitting up in his chair Albus smiled.

"Quite a nice spell. A creation of yours?"

Snape nodded, and busied himself cleaning the worktable around his cauldrons. Picking up the tools he had used he walked over to the sink, deposited everything there and returned with a wet cloth.

"Sometimes these old things are useful. It could do with a few tweaks, but as longs as it serves its purpose I see no need to change anything."

Snape sounded confident, secure in knowing what he was capable of and that a small spell like the one he had used on Albus was nothing more than a fingerexercise he couldn't pay much attention to. Returning to his work table he started to clean the table accurately around the cauldrons, making sure to catch any accidental spillages. Looking down at the work his hands were doing he continued to talk.

"I meant to send you a bird, but since you are here now it's just as well. The Dark Lord had an interesting epiphany you should consider."

Surprised Albus leant forward in his chair, curious.

"Do tell, and we will think it through."

Snape continued to look at his hands scrubbing the table.

"It seems he's come to the conclusion that to combat his overwhelming paranoia concerning your person it would make sense to keep a close eye on your machinations and plans. He's decided to plant a spy close to you, to receive first-hand information."

Picking up the cloth Snape marched back to the sink, and thoroughly washed it out before hanging it up to dry.

"And he decided that you should be that person?"

It seemed the obvious solution, and Albus wasn't surprised to see Snape nodding. Returning from the sink he unbuttoned his ratty laboratory coat, pulled the silver clip holding his hair back out and stuffed it into the pockets of the coat. Then he stalked around the work bench he had been using and leant against the table closest to Albus, crossing his feet at the ankles.

"For obvious reasons. He knows you were interested in me, I had to explain your magic all over me in some way. While he was not pleased at first it seems he has decided to make use of the situation and ordered me to be a bit more, well, accommodating towards your advances."

There was a hint of amusement in Snape's always cool voice, pointing towards the fact that maybe he was keeping a few details to himself.

"Did he specify what accommodating exactly means?"

Now Snape grinned, all teeth and not much emotion, and Albus couldn't say he liked the look of it. He sobered up quickly, though, leaving only the faint impression that whatever Riddle had meant was certainly not innocent.

"Well, he said a few inappropriate things, but that's unimportant. If the Dark Lords desires that I spent time in your company I shall follow his every wish. He will stop throwing a fit over every little whiff of your magic he traces on me, I can gloat about how easily I won your confidence and you can influence everything he hears about you without doing more than you are already doing."

It didn't help that Albus had a very clear idea of what Riddle had actually said, and he didn't like the implication. Albus had never exactly been hiding his sexuality, but neither had he felt the need to discuss it with the broader public. He had been quite happy to pose as an eternal bachelor and leave it at that. Only very few people still alive knew what Gellert Grindelwald had actually been to him, and he preferred to keep it this way.

Of course Tom would have found out, it had just been a matter of time. And yet it left a sour taste in Albus' mouth to think about what Riddle exactly had told Snape to do, and that Riddle thought it would work, as if Albus wasn't a very old man and Snape barely old enough to be stirring a cauldron on his own in a student laboratory in Oxford. It could have been ridiculous if it hadn't been that much of an insult to Albus' integrity, if it didn't bring up questions of what Riddle was thinking about Snape to order him to do such things. He made a mental note to question Snape on this particular issue further if the occasion should ever arrive and briskly moved on from the topic.

"So you're working as a double agent now?"

Snape shrugged, but again grinned.

"Apparently there's no rest for the wicked these days."

Shaking his head at the comment Albus leant back in his chair, sighing.

"I do admit it's a good solution, since you're reporting to him anyway. What did you tell him to explain the healing spell and the Oblivate?"

The slightly mischievous look on Snape's face vanished immediately.

"The obvious explanation was to tell him how you bothered me with questions concerning Valentinus' death, that you used invasive magic and I couldn't do anything against it."

Tilting his head Albus nodded. "And that worked?"

As if haunted by an unfavourable memory Snape shivered briefly.

"As well as one can expect. Lucky for me I am still useful."

It was obvious what Snape was hinting at, and just as obvious that he still didn't want to talk about it. It was just one more thing on a long list of things Albus needed to properly find out one day, maybe if they ever managed to develop a more solid connection than they had now, if they ever got that far.

"Useful, as a Potions Master?"

Albus nodded to the three cauldrons behind Snape. It would make sense that whatever he was brewing there had something to do with Riddle, with the services Snape was providing for Riddle's army. Tom would be stupid to have an Alchemist with Snape's capacity at his hands and not use him to the fullest degree.

Snape followed Albus' line of sight, and shrugged.

"For example. I already told you that the Dark Lord enjoys using Veritasserum in his interrogations, and it has to come from somewhere."

Albus looked at the cauldrons again, once more compared colour, smell and smoke density with everything he knew about Veritasserum just to be sure and came to the conclusion that Snape was not exactly telling the truth.

"There's no Veritasserum in these cauldrons."

Apparently Snape had expected this answer, and enjoyed hearing it. There was the strange grin again that looked so out of place on his thin face, mischievous and confident.

"Is it not?"

Clicking his tongue to make his disapproval audible Albus considered pointing out that he wasn't the residing Grand Master of the Guild of Alchemists for no reason, that he could very well tell a N.E.W.T level potion like Veritasserum was from another one, and that he wouldn't have given a single point to a master candidate presenting whatever was resting in the cauldrons behind Snape as properly brewed Veritasserum. But if it wasn't Veritasserum, well, what was in those cauldrons?

"Explain yourself."

Snape crossed his arms in front of his chest, and suddenly sounded like he was teaching a group of undergraduates in an intro to potions class, which Albus incidentally knew he was actually doing as part of his job at St. Aurelius.

"It will look like Veritasserum in about one lunar phase, given it can rest in vials within a temperature controlled environment while being undisturbed after a two-day-period of cooling time within the cauldron it was originally brewed in, which, by the way, has to contain iron. After the resting period it will turn completely transparent, water-like in all characteristics. It also works like Veritasserum, at least slightly. And, most importantly, it will look like Veritasserum on all commonly known tests that can be performed on it. Besides tracking effects very meticulously there is no way to prove it is not Veritasserum."

Albus tried to follow the line of thought, and came to an intriguing solution.

"So you're making a potion that looks like Veritasserum, feels like Veritasserum and reacts like Veritasserum, with the exception that - well?"

He had a suspicion, but he wanted to hear if he was right before he ventured a guess that could expose him as being hopelessly naive when it came to Snape's dedication as a traitor.

"It can be resisted, with a little bit of effort most magical people are capable of making. It still feels like a small struggle, but it allows the person ingesting it to not exactly tell the truth."

Raising an eyebrow Albus followed the conclusion to its logical end.

"A non-functional Veritasserum that is basically untraceable?"

Snape nodded, visibly satisfied with the conclusion they had arrived at. „Almost impossible to detect."

It was the perfect solution to a dilemma Albus had been thinking about ever since he realised that Snape was working as an interrogator for Tom, without question using Veritasserum because even Albus wouldn't trust an interrogation led without it, not when so much was at stake.

"How?"

Shrugging Snape looked very content with his own cunning.

"Rebuilding the potion on a different baselevel. I untangled the alchemic notation for Veritasserum and replaced what I needed to achieve the desired effect - less potency, same characteristics, slightly different ingredients. That's why you recognized the baselevel by smell and colour. As I said, it is Veritasserum, but at the same time, well, it's not."

For a moment Albus was speechless. Not many Potions Masters were capable of tweaking the baselevel of a potion that way, no matter how many years of experience they had. Just doing the calculations needed for that must have taken month, not speaking of the test stages and the final adjustments. Albus had seen people receive academic degrees and accolades for something that Snape ran as a secret sideline project next to his actual work load, and for a moment Albus wasn't surprised why the man always looked like he'd drop dead at any given moment from exhaustion.

"How did you test it?"

Snape only crocked his head a little. "On myself, naturally. There were plenty of occasions."

The thought made Albus uncomfortable, but it made perfect sense.

"And Tom never realised?"

Again Snape shrugged. "How should he? He doesn't know his victims are lying. For him they took the potion, they answer, and if in the end they had managed to hide something, well, how would I know? Maybe I'm less capable as interrogator as he thinks."

So Snape had sabotaged Riddle, and maybe for years now. It must have taken him a while to come up with the idea to manipulate the Veritasserum, to design the alternative potion, to brew it, to test it. This hadn't been a sudden decision, it was planned.

"And he does not punish you for what he thinks is your failure?"

Suddenly Snape looked uncomfortable, and Albus already knew the answer.

"The Dark Lord punishes every failure within his ranks."

His voice was sober, but somehow Albus thought he could still pick up on the pain and couldn't help softening.

"And it is worth it?"

The gentleness in Albus' voice seemed to disturb Snape for a moment. But he looked determined, having made this particular decision a long time ago.

"Yes."

For a moment Albus wished he had known this before. It would have made everything so much easier, would have allowed them to skip the month of running in circles around each other and spared him the constant questioning whether Snape would be cooperative. It also told him, crucially, that learning Occlumency was at best a flimsy excuse, probably rooted in an actual need as Snape claimed, but by far not the only reason why Snape had turned himself over to the light. There was no benefit at all in manipulating Riddle's grasp on his victims, nothing besides doing the right thing and, maybe, the knowledge that despite everything Riddle put Snape through it was by using his cunning, ability and learning that Snape had managed to take the piss out of the most dangerous wizard alive.

If that wasn't pure Slytherin spirit Albus really didn't know. He realised he was grinning when Snape started to look slightly disturbed and sobered up again.

"When did you decide you had to do something against Riddle?"

Albus kept his voice gentle to soften the blow, but this was one of the questions he had been burning to know the answer to ever since he had begun to suspect Snape of those acts of sabotage he had picked up on while trying to find a suitable candidate for his plan, someone who was on the inside and wanted out. It was what had drawn him to Snape in the very first place, and after Snape had successfully pretended to be nothing but an opportunist for month now it satisfied Albus enormously to know that he had been right from the very beginning.

But Snape seemed reluctant to answer, looking at his shoes for a moment, then brushing a strand of unruly black hair behind his ear. Finally he sighed, and looked up again, suddenly looking nothing but exhausted.

"Five years ago, more or less."

For a second Albus was speechless. Five years was a very long time to survive within Riddle's ranks without being fully committed to the agenda, but it also meant that Snape must have had the Dark Mark burnt into his skin for much longer than Albus had anticipated.

"When did you join Tom?"

Albus already knew Snape had carried the Mark when he had joined Valentinus as an apprentice, which was roughly three years ago, but not when exactly his induction ceremony had happened. Looking deeply uncomfortable Snape looked at Albus for a moment, apparently trying to decide whether he wanted to share this particular part of information. It was obvious that he decided they were too far in anyway, that there was no turning back now anymore. Relaxing his stance he dropped his arms from their crossed position, for a moment looking at his left forearm where the Dark Mark was currently invisible.

"I took the Mark three month after leaving school. I could still tell you the date and the hour, but I don't believe it matters."

Without realising he did it Albus held his breath. Snape had been seventeen years old when he left Hogwarts, having been always slightly younger than most of his peers, and he wouldn't have turned eighteen before the next January. He hadn't known Tom took them in so early, so young, when making bad decisions was a course of life and none of these mistakes should have been as deadly as this one was.

"And you killed for the first time?"

Albus kept his voice gentle, knowing he was treading on very thin ice here, hoping it would hold. To his surprise it did.

"The same night."

There was something in Snape's voice that made Albus' stomach clench, emotion sounding strange in the beautiful but usually completely detached baritone. Seventeen was too young to do such things, but Snape had done them, and there was no turning back from this. It didn't make him less of a murderer, but it also did nothing to assure Albus that maybe they hadn't just all failed terribly as adults watching over these children playing death at the beckoning of a mad man.

Snape, in the meantime, had decided that this was enough information for one evening, voice and face closed and matter-of-fact again. For a moment Albus regretted that these open moments were always fleeting ones, that Snape immediately pulled back and refused to allow any actual communication beyond those few glimpses.

"You are not here because of this, I assume."

Pulling back from his line of thought Albus carefully shook his head, matching his own display of emotions to the coolness that had returned to Snape's voice.

"No, indeed I'm not. I've spoken to the Wizengamot and could arrange a suitable time for the trial. Everything was handled in absolute secrecy, and there are very few people in the Ministry aware of it. If you are ready."

Albus hadn't thought it was possible for Snape to pale even further, but he very much did. Considering Albus had just offered him a week in Azkaban and a trial he had no other chance to survive but based on Albus' political power nobody would have faulted him for loosing his head and falling into hysterics. But like this, being Snape, he simply exhaled carefully and then, to Albus' endless relief, nodded.

"When?"

His voice was controlled, the fear that had been visible on him just a fraction of a second gone again.

"The first week of January. The Oxford term should not start until a few days after the date for the trial, but you need to spent the prescribed time in detention while awaiting trail. I'm afraid there are certain things even I cannot change."

Snape looked lost in thought for a moment, and Albus simply continued.

"I have arranged for the Aurors to pick you up wherever we choose. But you'll need to find an excuse for your disappearance, maybe a vacation or a spontaneous research trip to somewhere."

Forcefully relaxing his posture Snape seemed to search for something to do with his hands and lacking anything stuffed them into the pockets of his lab robe in a unusual display of nervousness Albus could not fault him for one bit.

"As long as I'm back first day of term nobody will miss me."

From what Albus had seen and knew about Snape there was no reason to doubt that he was saying the truth, that indeed nobody would miss him if he just vanished for two weeks, maybe even if he vanished forever.

"And nobody will ask questions?"

Snape just shrugged.

"No."

It was a damning statement, but said with such clarity and determination that Albus wondered for a moment if they were still talking about a week in Azkaban or maybe something different altogether. Again he entertained the idea that Snape might just be severely suicidal, and it would fit so nicely with the acts of treason he had committed, the complete disregard of his personal safety, the willingness with which he had handed his life over to Albus despite knowing virtually nothing about the earnestness of his endeavour.

It left Albus with a lack of meaningful things to say. Instead he decided to carefully reach out, just to test the waters and see if Snape was in a stable emotional condition. But to his surprise the Legilimens spell slid off Snape's mind like water on a windowpane.

"You practised."

Not without admiration Albus eyed Snape, now suddenly very composed, very straight, not betraying any emotion, dark eyes completely unreadable. Then Snape took his hands out of the pockets of his lab robe and pushed himself off the table's edge.

"Tell me when and were. I am prepared."

Albus nodded, rising from his own chair, very impressed with the sudden change in stance, fully knowing that Snape was absolutely saying the truth and was indeed ready to face whatever was going to come his way. He took that knowledge with him as he left the laboratory and disapparated back to Hogwarts, in his mind already arranging anything that still had to be set into motion.

They met again shortly after the new year had come, on the date they had agreed upon. Albus had proposed the apparition clearing of the Forbidden Forest close to Hogwarts as a good place where they could meet the Aurors that were supposed to take Snape to Azkaban, mostly because it was the most private public place he could think of that was still firmly in his domain and under his control. Albus trusted the Ministry on very few things, and there remained a little worry that this game would not fully turn out the way he wanted it. Both he and the Order would survive if they lost Snape to a ministry blunder now, but he wasn't keen on it, not when he had little chances of ever finding someone this capable and willing to do the impossible again.

The clearing was snowed in, the white blanket undisturbed by footprints, and Albus was early. He had enjoyed the little walk through the forest in the waning afternoon light, a spot of colour in his fur-lined aubergine wintercloak next to the bleak winter landscape, ostensibly relaxed while at the back of his mind there was still a small voice questioning if Snape was really going to show up.

He needn't have worried. Apparently Snape was a man with the habit of being early, for Albus was barely two steps onto the clearing when he heard the soft sound of apparition and the young man stood on the other end of the open space. For a moment he seemed openly surprised to see Albus there already, but then only nodded in greeting. They met in the exact middle of the clearing, their breath little puffs in the cold air. It was colder in Scotland than it was down south, and Snape wasn't dressed for the weather, his baggy leather jacket too thin for the temperature, an old grey scarf wrapped around his neck, hands without gloves stuffed into the pockets of his jeans. He seemed deadly pale in the fading afternoon light, the cold colouring him in uneasy red and blue.

"Good afternoon. I'm glad you came."

Snape looked slightly amused, pulling his shoulders up against the cold.

"Did you doubt I would?"

But Albus only shrugged. "I wouldn't have faulted anyone for fleeing from this, and you already know what awaits you. Considering that, why did you not dress warmer?"

He remembered the last time he had picked Snape up from Azkaban, the raging fever brought on by the harsh conditions in the prison, how he had shivered in the cold. But Snape only frowned at Albus' display of ignorance.

"They don't let anyone keep their clothing."

Briefly Albus wondered if he should or could have known that, and decided against it.

They stood on the clearing in silence for a moment, Snape displaying no sign of nervousness, looking around the Forbidden Forest in its snowy blanket glittering in the twilight. It seemed oddly peaceful, and Albus couldn't help but feel like they were looking at the final calm before the storm would break loose. He followed Snape's gaze at the wonderfully shaped trees heavily laden with their white burden, the silence perfect besides the crunch of the snow under their feet. Then he stopped watching the trees and looked at Snape instead, all dark against the white background of the forest yet radiating much of the same cold.

"Are you sure you want to follow through with this?"

Albus' voice was barely above a whisper, but in the almost complete stillness of the forest his words nevertheless carried. Snape turned to look over his shoulder, eyes cool.

"Are you?"

The counterquestion surprised Albus, but not for long. Meeting the calculating gaze he nodded.

"I can't do this on my own."

It sounded much more like a confession than he had wanted it to be, and for a moment he was startled by his own candidness, wondering if vulnerability was something Snape could be trusted with just yet. Fleetingly he considered taking his words back. But then Snape just nodded and turned to look at the trees again, shoulders hunched against the cold.

"I thought I could."

For a moment he hesitated, and Albus suddenly realised that he needn't have worried. He hadn't expected this to be the moment he would finally manage to slip under all of Snape's many lines of defence, that it would take a confession to get one in return. Giving Snape space to finish what he was saying Albus kept his tongue in check, waiting for whatever would happen next in silence.

"It turned out I can't."

Snape didn't look at Albus when he finally continued, but it was obvious that he meant it, voice low but clear, and for some reason the weight on Albus' shoulders suddenly felt a little lighter.

„We want the same thing.“

He watched Snape exhale slowly, trying to loosen his posture and open his mouth to say something. But whatever it was suddenly was drowned by the loud plop of a double apparition, and then they were joined by two formally dressed Aurors in grey robes, badges pointing towards their high standing in the Ministry hierarchy. They were perfectly on time, but for a moment Albus inwardly cursed their punctuality before turning and greeting them.

"Ah, good afternoon. Mr. Levi, Mr. Bailey. Thank you for joining us."

Both Aurors nodded and murmured their greetings. The taller of both addressed Albus first.

"Professor Dumbledore, we are being send by the Wizengamot to arrest Severus Snape."

Albus nodded, and gestured towards Snape who hadn't moved, calmly watching the Aurors.

"That would be me."

The Aurors nodded, exchanged glances and moved quickly. It wasn't often that they could arrest a Death Eater without battle, and both seemed rightfully careful of their surroundings, even with Albus Dumbledore himself right there more or less guaranteeing their safety. Positioning themselves left and right of Snape the smaller one produced a set of enchanted chains, ordering Snape to cross his wrists behind his back and securing his hands with a quick spell. The chains wound themselves rightly around his hands, pulling his shoulders back painfully. It wasn't the most uncomfortable thing he was about to endure the next weeks, but Albus couldn't help but feel a little sympathy.

"We also require your wand."

For a moment Snape looked as if he was about to ask the taller Auror how he was supposed to hand it over with both hands tightly bound behind his back, and just so managed to reign himself in.

"Does the regulation state that you will take it, or that it just can't be on my person anymore?"

Not having expected to receive that particular answer the Auror looked slightly annoyed.

"It cannot be in your possession. Hand it over to whomever you please."

Seemingly satisfied Snape tilted his head to the side and nodded into the direction of Albus.

"Then I would prefer Professor Dumbledore to take it."

Quickly moving in Albus registered the leap of faith and tried not to feel strangely proud.

"I guess it would be in your jacket?"

Snape nodded, and Albus carefully moved closer, getting a good close-up look of how beaten up the leather jacket actually was while gently unzipping it. For a moment Albus let the strangeness of being so close to Snape sink in, feeling the warmth of his body as he slipped his hands inside the jacket searching for Snape's wand, which he quickly found in the appropriate pocket. Pulling it out and pocketing it in his own cloak Albus made sure to properly zip the jacket up again, and on a whim took the time and opportunity to rearrange the grey scarf properly. Up close Snape's face was completely unreadable, devoid of any colour, eyes dark in the quickly vanishing winter light. They were almost equal in height, but even with his hands tied behind his back Snape stood a little taller, almost painfully straight. Finishing his fiddling with the scarf Albus stepped back, nodding to the Aurors.

They quickly closed in, both clamping a hand on Snape's shoulders, looking slightly ridiculous in their threatening stance next to the bound and unarmed Snape, who seemed to have sagged just a little under the weight of the Auror's firm grip.

"Right, Mr. Snape, if you will accompany us. Professor Dumbledore, have a good day."

Albus noted how their tone switched from commanding when speaking to Snape and utterly formal when talking to him, and nodded. But just before the Aurors prepared to disapparate with their new prisoner Albus lifted a hand.

"Severus?"

The Aurors paused for just a second, and Severus looked up, surprised at the use of his given name. But Albus just smiled, reaching out mentally and finding the barriers of Occlumency part before his Legilimens willingly. Under the watchful glance of the Aurors they both stood in complete silence, and Albus said the words without ever opening his mouth.

"I will see you later."

Severus nodded, and Albus found that speaking through this new invisible mental connection was much easier than saying things aloud, that he could simply drop the promise into Severus' mind and leave it there, making it much more tangible that way. He hoped that it would stay there, that it would remain even while they would toss Snape into the howling madness of Azkaban prison, while the Wizengamot would sit and deliberate his fate, while he would have to survive days and nights bound by heavy, cold chains around his feet and ankles. It wasn't much but it would have to do, and he wanted to leave Snape with that certainty, that one simple fact that Albus would be there waiting, in front of the gates of Azkaban or the court room in the Ministry or wherever it would be necessary. What they had set out to do wasn't going to be easy - war, after all, wasn't easy - but they would be allies or maybe even friends, and maybe get done what nobody could do on their own anyway.

With a resonating plop the Aurors and Severus vanished, and Albus made sure not to stand too long on the clearing before he turned around, feeling Severus' wand securely in his pocket and the fading Legilimency still on his mind. Then he marched back towards his castle, striding purposefully through the silent forest, his focus already set on continuing his plans, on getting his spy out of Azkaban, bringing the Order together and like this one step at a time coming closer to winning the war against Tom Riddle. It wasn't going to be easy, but he was prepared and, most importantly, not alone anymore.

 

 

 

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