Chapter Text
It took exactly three weeks until Albus received the message he had been waiting for. It was during lunch that the dark bird swept through the Great Hall, straight towards the High Table where Albus was seated. It wasn't difficult to recognise the elegant ravens used by members of St. Aurelius, College of Alchemy and Arithmetic in Oxford. The note the bird carried was short, clipped and precise. Snape didn't ask for a meeting, he demanded one, and had already set time and place. Albus wasn't used to be treated like that, but taking his last visit at Snape's flat into consideration he quietly accepted that they were past pleasantries without even really trying.
It was thus that on the next late Saturday evening Snape swept into Albus' office perfectly on time, all black fabric and serious face. Without being asked to he seated himself in the visitors' chair right where he had sat not too long ago, the same person yet very much a changed man. The long cloak he apparently had kept as part of his wardrobe ever since the funeral seemed to flow from his thin shoulders, an undulating black mass around his body, draped over his more muggle attire underneath. He was dressed a bit less formal than he had been during the funeral, but still more than Albus was used to, black on black seemingly his new signature look. He kept his hands in his lap, folded together, and above everything sat the still too gaunt face, perfectly pale, and mostly unreadable.
"Good evening."
But Snape sat in silence. For a moment he just looked at Albus, a stiff figure in the chair, uncomfortably tense. It didn't take Albus' hypersensibility towards other's magical balance to realise that he was on edge, the slight buzz almost tangible in the air.
But he remained unmoving, for long enough to finally make Albus uncomfortable. If he hadn't been who he was, not as powerful as he was, he might have even begun to worry about his personal safety. There was just something completely unnerving about the situation, the silence too heavy, Snape poised like a predator waiting for the opportunity for the perfect strike.
Just when Albus wondered how he could break up the situation without causing an earthquake Snape lifted his chin, only marginally, straightened, and finally addressed him.
"So you are trying to get me killed."
The way he stressed the first verb turned the sentence into something of a statement. It echoed the question he had asked weeks before, wondering if Albus wanted to resort to torture or murder, and it seemed he had come to a conclusion. Albus, however, was surprised.
"Let me reassure I had no intention to have you murdered. But I wonder why you came to this false impression?"
There was nothing in Snape's face that gave away if he believed Albus' words.
"There is no need for denial, your actions have already betrayed you. I was right assuming so, but what I want to know is why."
His voice was hard, making his feelings far too clear. The issue was just that Albus had absolutely no idea what he was talking about.
"Please, enlighten me. What have I done that endangered your life?"
Genuinely curious he leant slightly forwards, still perfectly focused on Snape.
"First, you used an Oblivate on my mind. I recognise that you did try to conceal it, but you're less subtle than you think you are. Second, you broke into my mind, without much care for the traces you might leave behind. Finally you put a strong healing spell on me, using enough power to ensure it would continue to show effect for a longer period of time."
Snape sounded more and more animated the further he progressed in his list, a hint of anger seeping into his voice. When he was done he stared at Albus, who could only nod at the itemisation and then motion for Snape to continue.
"Your magic was, and still is, traceable on me."
It wasn't a conclusion but an accusation, and with a sinking feeling Albus realised that there was, actually, a slim chance that Snape was right. It pained him that Snape considered him to be anything but subtle, critic on his magical approach something he hadn't heard for many decades and now couldn't quite believe. But it was true that magic generally tended to be traceable, and his healing spell hadn't been exactly covert. Yet he still couldn't understand how all of Snape's arguments added together to the single possible solution that Albus intended to kill him, and he made sure Snape realised this by keeping his face carefully neutral.
"Yes, it might very well be. I concede that my healing spell was powerful, but you were looking very bad indeed. I still don't understand where you are going with this."
He watched Snape sigh, his shoulders slumping slightly. But his gaze was unwavering in its intensity, and Albus could feel the quiver of magic in the air intensify for a short moment. Then Snape took a deep breath, and said the most impossible thing.
"He noticed."
And then the buzzing was gone, perfect silence in the room as well as in the magical atmosphere. The weight of the relevation was too heavy, and for a second Albus couldn't think properly. Until now Snape had never admitted to being what Albus thought he was, and it was this admittance that suddenly tilted their whole power balance irrevocably. It gave Albus everything he needed, but also a responsibility he hadn't had before this meeting and was rather sure he didn't really want to have at all.
It seemed preposterous to play dumb and pretend he didn't exactly know who they were talking about, so Albus didn't even try. He only nodded, and leant back in his chair.
"Are you sure?"
Snape looked down for a moment, and nodded. Following his gaze Albus read his body language, and understood. It explained the stiffness in his posture, the perfect stillness, the cramped way his hands were digging into each other now. They were small signs, but they could be telltale, and Albus had not only properly studied Snape's body language before, but also knew what victims of recent violence looked like. Albus' magic was unique, and if Tom had indeed searched for it and found traces of it all over Snape it was a miracle the man had gotten out of there alive.
"I didn't know Tom tortured his followers. What does he use, the Cruciatus? Other curses?"
For a fleeting second Snape tensed, and then forcibly relaxed his body as much as possible. Then he shook his head, slowly but determinedly.
"That will not be part of our discussion tonight."
But Albus couldn't let it slide, making moves to rise.
"There is no point in you denying it, I can see that you're in pain. Let me try something."
But he could hardly stand up to make good on his words when Snape raised a hand, stopping him in his tracks.
"You will put neither your hands nor your magic on me, and if you do this conversation will immediately be over."
He didn't even raise his voice, but it was very clear that he meant exactly what he was saying. It impressed Albus to see this amount of determination, considering that Snape was not exactly playing a winning hand right now.
"You have already confessed."
But Snape only shrugged. "You can proceed however you wish. Kill me now or hand me over to the ministry, but keep your hands and magic to yourself."
That was blunt enough, and Albus settled himself in his chair again, for a moment raising his hands with palms forward to signal that he accepted Snape's conditions for negotiation. It gave his mind enough time to dive all the way into the every single possibility why Snape was so adamant about remaining far away from Albus' reach, and if there was any reason for that beyond Albus' own actions. It made him wonder what Tom had done to the young man before him, and what he did to his followers at large, but there was no time for horror scenarios to play out.
"As you wish, although I'd like you to know that I act with good intentions."
Snape only shrugged. "You have not given me much reason to believe your words. But it doesn't matter. I'm here to negotiate and see if we can come to an agreement we can both find acceptable."
Spreading his hands on his desk Albus nodded. Finally they were where he had wanted them to be all along, and he could barely keep the satisfaction out of his voice. He hadn't won this, after all, not yet.
"Very good. How shall we proceed?"
Nodding Snape relaxed a bit, now secure in the knowledge that Albus was going to remain behind his desk.
"Your Oblivate took enough of my memory from our first conversation that you will have to repeat a few things. It seems paramount that we agree on the actual objective of negotiation before we can decide on the terms."
There was something about the way Snape could immediately get down to business that Albus could appreciate, himself being a man who enjoyed clarity in his dealings with others above anything else.
"Good. Here is my offer. I am forming a league of likeminded friends to encounter the threat of Tom Riddle and protect our society from his hostile aggression. He will bring war to our doorstep, and needs to be stopped. We are developing an undercover network to protect possible victims, and confront him if necessary. We assume there will be battle, and while the ministry is resolved to negotiate as long as possible we are certain that we will be facing war before that point."
Snape listened, completely still, not giving anything away. Albus, knowing fully well that passionate rhetoric wasn't going to win him over, stayed away from any too emotional arguments.
"So far our league is comprised of various members in all places of society. But we are lacking someone who actually understands how Tom works, how his group is built, how he thinks. We need somebody on the inside, as close to him as possible. I've been watching you for a while now, and considering everything I know about you I came to the conclusion that you are a high ranked member of his inner circle, a Death Eater with access to important information and enough magical ability and control to survive as a spy in his ranks, very close to him. Over the past couple of weeks I've tested you and your abilities, and you meet all of my criteria."
Albus waited for his words to sink in, and a reaction from Snape. He was still treading carefully, waiting for the situation to implode as it had over the past month again and again, no matter how hard he had tried to not push too far, to not anger Snape before he could even make his point properly. But this time Snape remained calm, perfectly collected, and only reacted by nodding slowly.
"It seems I indeed match your criteria."
So his guesses had been right. He hadn't been exactly sure if Snape had been an inner circle member, only assuming from the circles the man moved it, the people he knew and how they fared within Tom's hierarchy of evil.
"So you have direct access to Tom?"
It was the most unbelievable sight, but Snape actually snorted. "You could phrase it like that."
"You'll need to be more precise."
Carefully leaning a bit backwards Snape nodded. "It is as you suspect. I am a member of what the Dark Lord indeed calls his inner circle, and have been for a few years now."
Every word kindled Albus' curiosity, and he had to bite back the wish to push too fast, ask too much too quickly. Reigning himself in he kept his voice calm, as if Snape wasn't about to tell him a few of the things he had been trying to understand for a long time now.
"What does that mean exactly, within the hierarchy Tom has built?"
There had been nothing to give it away, but Snape seemed to have figured out how eager Albus was to know. But he didn't hesitate, and only a raised eyebrow indicated that he had picked up on Albus' curiosity.
"Well, a few different things. The Dark Lord has built a strong hierarchy, meaning there's a lot of henchmen and only a few who are close enough to actually have access to himself on a regular basis. Members of the inner circle fulfil a variety of roles. Some bring in money and organise the movements of the whole group, others function as advisors to plan strategy, others manage the network he needs, some recruit new members and keep an eye on the lower ranked Death Eaters, others lead attacks, such things."
Albus listened intently, making sure every word sank into his memory to be recorded properly later. He'd need to pull the memory of this conversation from his mind and store it safely, and he made a mental note to do so later.
"And your roles in this? Where do you fit it?"
For a short second Snape hesitated, but then apparently decided that it was far too late anyway.
"I'd say I'm some sort of advisor, as much as you can advise someone like the Dark Lord. He uses my ability for strategic thinking and planning, but I'm not the only one nor am I his head counsellor. But I have a wide knowledge about the Dark Arts he finds useful, as well as a certain finesse in leading negotiations."
There was nothing that surprised Albus in the list Snape rattled off, but the last point seemed specifically vague.
"Clarify that for me. What type of negotiations?"
For a moment Snape said nothing, simply looking at Albus as if he was deciding how he could phrase things more clearly and whether Albus really was that stupid. But he did deign to answer the question, albeit sounding like he was talking to a slightly slow toddler.
"You are aware that people who vanish are questioned before they are eventually disposed of? That they aren't just picked off the street but are taken for a reason, mostly for knowledge they have?"
Slightly annoyed Albus couldn't help but roll his eyes.
"And how does that connect to your negotiations?"
But as soon as he said it he understood what Snape had told him, slightly belated and not without a shiver down his spine.
"Ah, of course. You're his interrogator. And also the torturer? The executioner, for an interrogation is surely followed by an execution? Or at least that what I've heard, given nobody comes out alive after these negotiations."
There was hint of unpleasantness in Albus' voice, disapproval he couldn't hide very well. But Snape only nodded.
"Nobody comes out alive. I ask questions, there's others for the less tasteful proceedings." For a moment he paused, and then continued, briefly looking down at his own hands. "At least most of the time."
"So you do kill for him?"
Quickly Snape looked up again, straight at Albus, gaze suddenly cold and calm.
"Of course."
And even though Albus had known that every member of Tom's little twisted army had to kill a muggle to become a full member, and that, logically, Snape must have killed more than just that one person the sheer calm with which the man claimed his crimes was chilling.
"A lot?"
Still perfectly calm Snape shrugged. But there was a hint of impatience, making it obvious that Albus wasn't going to get more information about that particular topic that day.
"Headmaster, when I told you during our first meeting that the Wizengamot would surely sentence me to death for my crimes I fully meant it. There are men in Azkaban who have done far less than I have, but I don't believe that our current conversation will benefit if I gave you a full list of all my wrongdoing."
For a brief moment Albus was glad Snape hadn't called their little chat a negotiation right now, and silently reprimanded himself to that illogical slip. He wasn't afraid of the young man, not even slightly, but he could understand how people with less power and experience dealing with death might be at least slightly worried about their personal safety just going by the steely glance and cold focus. Snape seemed to possess a quite formidable mind and above the average power, but barely any conscience.
"And still you decided to betray your Lord, a move that might cost you your life. I wonder what happened."
Relaxing back further into his chair while crossing his arms Snape only shrugged and then visibly had to suppress a wince.
"You didn't give me much of a choice, if you care to remember why I'm actually here."
But Albus picked up on the lie.
"No, that's too easy. You came here first, do you remember? We spoke in Oxford, and you followed my invitation. You didn't have to, as I had nothing against you besides a slight suspicion that wouldn't have harmed you even if I had pushed it publicly. I know you'll deny it, but you wanted to talk to me. And today you came here without any invitation at all. Tom killed Valentinus and you took it hard, but you've been trying to sabotage Tom before. And there's something else, because you are not here to hand over your knowledge just like this, you want something in return. You wouldn't do something just for the greater good, would you?"
At the mention of Valentinus' name Snape looked slightly tortured, but quickly pushed the emotion from his face again.
"The greater good, I thought we weren't speaking of that ever since you killed Grindelwald. Of course I want something in return. You have a skill I need to learn, and I know you could teach me."
Just as Albus had expected the bait he had set during their last meeting in Snape's apartment worked perfectly. Briefly he wondered why Snape mentioned Gellert, but had no time to think about it further.
"You want to learn Occlumency. I wonder why? It's a rare skill, very difficult, almost dangerous to learn. But I know that Tom uses Legilmency, I saw it in the damage done to your mind."
Snape nodded. "He uses highly invasive Legilimency, and quite freely. But protecting my mind isn't my primary concern."
That surprised Albus. "It's not?"
"No." Snape sounded as if he'd like to roll his eyes and only didn't out of formality and manners. But he continued his explanation, a clear sign that Albus had managed to somewhat make him more talkative than ever before.
"I understand that you are still looking for the reason the Dark Lord killed Basilius Valentinus?"
That was a turn Albus had not expected. "Yes, of course I am. How does this fit together?"
Snape shook his head, visibly disapproving of Albus' impatience. "It will, in a moment. The Dark Lord came to Valentinus for a certain piece of knowledge that my master had, ways to acquire power Valentinus had discovered in his many years as a working alchemist and used in his work. He had never openly stated this, but the Dark Lord has a knack for picking up on these things, and he is very curious indeed, always looking to strengthen his power. Valentinus seemed to have discovered a source for this, an easy one even, and that was what brought both of them together. But Valentinus had already expected that to happen, and provided for the case. When the Dark Lord came to his house that night my master wasn't able to divulge his secret anymore, as he had cast a strong Fidelius charm barely a month before."
Albus followed the trail of thought easily. "A Fidelius! So he couldn't tell Tom anymore, only his secret keeper could."
All the piece fell into place and Albus finally knew what they were talking about.
"You are Valentinus' Secret Keeper. Just after your apprenticeship with Valentinus' ended you cast a Fidelius together, and whatever Tom did would not have helped him. Valentinus set himself up to die, but his secret would be safe with you. Did he know you were a Death Eater?"
Snape looked pained at the deduction.
"He spent much of his time working with the Dark Arts, and I always assumed he was aware of my specific affiliation. He wasn't pleased because he detested the Dark Lord, but I never gave Valentinus reason to doubt my loyalty towards him, and I intend to honour my commitment."
Albus couldn't keep the pointed remark down, there was just no helping it.
"I hadn't suspected you of being a loyal man."
But Snape only shrugged, unfazed by the accusation. "I am not. But Valentinus' secret will die with me, and I need your help to make sure of it."
It was a strangely emotional avowal, untypical for the cynical Snape, but nothing Albus didn't enjoy hearing. He still had his doubts, though.
"You are right that a Fidelius can leave the Secret Keeper in a precarious situation, but at the same time the secret itself is relatively safe. Neither torture nor an Imperio curse can make a Secret Keeper divulge it, it can only be given up voluntarily - but you know these things. Why are you worried?"
Snape didn't look convinced. "It hasn't been proven yet that Legilimency can't at least sense the mere existence of the secret. I know that it is tied to the soul and not the mind, but the Legilimency the Dark Lord practises is particularly invasive and could be enough to find traces of it. And then he will have enough Dark Arts at his disposal to find a way to unravel my soul and go digging there, it's all just a new level of Legilimency in the end. Occlumency will hide any trace of what happened, make the Fidelius impossible to detect. If he doesn't know it's there he won't go searching."
He was right, and Albus had to admit it. While a Fidelius itself didn't sit on the mind it could be tied to memories there, and it had never been proven that there was indeed nothing in this world that could unravel the secret from the soul, especially when there was no importance placed on the life of the Secret Keeper. The urgency in Snape's voice made it very obvious that the Dark Lord wouldn't hesitate to take his soul apart if he could just find out what Valentinus had tried to hide from him. At the same time it saddened Albus to see how Snape apparently cared for Valentinus' secret, but seemed to find no particular horror in the idea of someone reaching in and unravelling his very soul slowly and cruelly.
"I'm surprised you're not trying to protect yourself."
For a moment Snape looked tired, dropping his arms and simply placing his hands on his knees.
"This will be open war soon, and if I die in it, well, riddance. But until then Valentinus' secret must be kept, that is all I ask. Teach me Occlumency, and it will be safe."
For a moment Albus felt sadness at the resolute denial of any will to survive. A suicidal spy could potentially be a bad one, but it seemed that Snape was determined to at least keep whatever secret Valentinus had trusted him with, and that alone was enough to impress Albus.
"So if I teach you Occlumency you will work for me?"
Snape nodded, slowly but determined. "Yes."
For a moment they just sat opposite each other, letting the severity of the situation sink it. Albus had made plans for that moment, of course, but now they seemed strangely useless.
"And I assume you are not going to tell me what Valentinus protected so thoroughly."
For a short moment Snape looked surprised at the mere idea. "I just told you I'm willing to die to keep this particular piece of information from a capricious and very powerful wizard. What makes you believe I'd disclose it to you of all people?"
Albus shrugged, trying not to be offended at the comparison. "We will be working for the same purpose."
But Snape only shook his head.
"Let me make this clear. I will not work for you for any reason you will deem morally superior. I need your help and you need mine, and that tends to make a good base for a working deal. I will not join your league or order or however you will call your conglomeration of people I'd rather not engage with. This is a thing between you and me, nothing else."
Albus hadn't expected enthusiasm from Snape for the idea of joining their Order, but a little less disillusionment would have been nice.
"Are you talking to Tom like this as well?"
For a split second Snape grinned, all bare toothed like a shark. "Of course. Why do you think I'm still alive? He considers me to be very amusing company."
Moving yet again in his chair he crossed his legs, placed his elbows on the armrest of the chair and stapled his fingers, forcibly relaxing his posture while visibly not being able to remain in one position for very long. The unsettling grin vanishing from his thin face he continued.
"Let us be clear that I am under no illusions as to who you are. There is no need for you to pretend that war and bloodshed shock you as they do most people. You have been there already, and just like me you have killed."
Suddenly the earlier mention of Gellert's death made sense, but before Albus could say anything a raised hand stopped his objection.
"No need for that. Yes, you're the saviour of the wizarding world, Order of Merlin and so on, and I'm just a lowly traitor - " for a second he savoured the word, as if tasting its full meaning for the first time before continuing. "- but that one thing we have in common. We both took lives, for whatever reasons. We're not equals, but if you really want to continue this you have to know that I will not ask you for anything. I will not worship you and I am not here to beg."
It was a short speech, but Albus was utterly impressed at the sheer determination and willpower Snape demonstrated, the ability to manoeuvre with such confidence in the face of a total defeat. He was playing a very high-stakes game with his life on the table to gamble with, and one he had essentially already lost with his first confession.
"That is fair enough for me. But I want your word on this, because however you frame this you will, at some point, receive information that is vital to our resistance. I cannot risk you turn around, so I will require a safety."
He paused, waiting for any reaction from Snape. He had spent a lot of time thinking of this next step, never knowing if they were ever going to get there at all and, if yes, if that wouldn't be the last thing that would make Snape run for the hills. But there was no reaction from Snape, his face blank and his attention still focused on Albus with a slightly unsettling intensity. So Albus continued.
"If we decide to go through with this I need your name to be cleared by the Ministry. Our conglomeration of people, as you call it, is more official than you think it is, and I need your name on paper, too."
It was obvious that Snape didn't like the idea. "What does that mean?"
"It means the Ministery will need to be involved. I assume you are aware that you've been a target of their security operations for a while, so they will not be surprised. I want the Wizengamot to clear your name for this, at least unofficially. The proceedings will be kept secret, even within the Ministry. Only very few people will know about it. We can keep your side of this agreement between the both of us, but your role in the Order needs to be confirmed."
At the mention of the Wizarding High Court Snape looked decidedly uncomfortable, and Albus precisely knew why. A trial meant Azkaban, and for a proclaimed Death Eater neither the prison now the court were good places to be. Snape wouldn't stand a chance without protection, and as he had stated multiple times already he knew it very well.
"I can assure you that if you decide to submit yourself to these proceedings I will accompany you." He fixed Snape with a firm gaze, no Legilimency involved, only assurance and for the first time in their conversation a hint of power.
"I can protect you, and in this instance I will."
Albus put as much emphasis on this declaration as he could, making it not a promise but a statement. He assumed Snape was aware of the power he wielded even beyond his magical force, the strong foothold he kept in the wizarding society, that he could indeed move mountains with just a word - but he needed to say it, just once. That it was power that attracted Snape, in whatever form, was one of the few things Albus was sure he had understood about the young man. He had joined the Death Eaters because Tom was strong and made no secret of it, and if Albus were to achieve anything with him it would be because he had made an equally good impression, in an absurd little competition he was sure he would win. He hadn't yet decided how far he was willing to go, how much he would disclose. It felt slightly tasteless, this display of might and weapons, but if it was necessary Albus wouldn't be beneath doing it. For the greater good, of course. He didn't need to impress this scrawny little Death Eater in front of him, or compete with Tom for Snape's loyalty - not now, when he'd essentially already won Snape over, in the unlikely case that Snape was a man who could be won over at all.
Snape sat motionless, apparently calculating, his face unreadable. Then he nodded slowly, and Albus wondered if it was because he had actually decided to put his trust in that declaration or if he had just come to the rightful conclusion that from here he had nowhere to go but forward.
"So you want a vow?"
A magical vow would be the best solution, a fireproof way that Snape wouldn't be able to betray him. And yet it felt wrong, and Albus had spent a lot of time thinking of this. A vow would be a form of force, and what Albus wanted Snape to do couldn't be done because of pressure. Coercion would not do the trick when only will could, and will could not be forced.
"No. I want your word, just that."
Snape looked genuinely surprised, and for a moment Albus felt something in him soften at this display of confusion. It reminded him that he was talking to a man who had been bound by Tom, who would never escape the connection that was burnt into his very flesh and would forever remain tethered to the darkness. He wasn't going to chain him to the light in the same way, not as long as he could avoid it. In the end, when all was said and done he wasn't Tom Riddle, and he needed Snape to know.
"Just that?"
Albus nodded, savouring how Snape could be thrown off guard by displays of trust when nothing brutal seemed to shock him anymore.
"Yes. And for now only your word that you will not tell anyone what we have spoken about today. You need to think about this, and so do I, and we need to agree on the exact terms. For now I just need to know that you will not take the information you already have straight to Tom, and then we will see if we can arrange to have the Wizengamot take your case on."
A little test, nothing more, to see if Snape was actually willing to commit fully, a decision both wouldn't be able to undo once it had been made. And for Albus it was a low-risk game, for Snape knew nothing yet that wasn't vaguely making the rounds anyway, no knowledge he could use to harm the Order or its members.
For a moment Snape looked at his hands. Then he nodded, again slowly, and looked up. Albus took the chance to reach over the desk, offering his hand. Hesitating for just a second Snape reached out, and they shook hands. Snape's bony fingers were cold in Albus' grip, his handshake firm and determined.
Allowing himself a smile Albus sat back. "Well, what a pleasant outcome of this conversation."
Snape seemed undetermined whether he was willing to join in Albus' statement. Instead he cleared his throat, sitting back himself.
"And the Occlumency lessons?"
Still smiling Albus shrugged.
"What about we start right now?"
Snape wasn't done with nodding when Albus cast the spell, strong yet perfectly covert, his magic softly gliding over Snape's skull and straight into the swirling fog of his mind.