Archive of Our Own ^beta

"You don't have to consider this the end of the world, Seifer."

He shifts his weight to his other leg, pivoting away from her so that he's looking out across the ocean. It's a silent dismissal, and it's nothing like the wild, hard little boy she remembers. Seifer was never this quiet, even when he was writing her off, ignoring her plaintive older-sister warnings.

"Matron just wants to do right by you," Ellone tells him. It's all Matron ever wanted, really: to protect each child in her care. She built Ellone this ship, a floating guard against all that might try to misuse her, and now she's extending her protection to Seifer, creating a microcosm of the universe in which he can be safe.

"Yeah. Guess that means stickin' me on her prison boat. I'll be sure to mention how grateful I am the next time she decides to drop by."

He could be in the D-District Prison right now, and he knows it. Or in Odine's laboratory, the perfect specimen for the study of long-term sorceress brainwashing. He could be at Garden, and lord knows what they'd do with him. Ellone has a feeling Squall and Cid are glad Edea took him off their hands. They don't want to have a trial, not in their new, friendly, NORG-free Garden, but they can't just take him back, not with the blood of so many SeeD candidates on his hands.

"Well, she'll be glad to see you're settling in, then." Ellone smoothes out her skirt and stands. The Esthar ship will wait for her for as long as she likes, but she promised Uncle Laguna she'd be back in time for a demonstration of his latest new toy.

(It's a long, pronged instrument good for scratching his lower back. It isn't really as impressive as the hovercar that reuses its own emissions, or the bodysuit that disables marlboro breath attacks, but Uncle Laguna will appreciate it just as much.)

She still has to say farewell to the few White SeeDs who'd stayed on even after Edea proclaimed that their newest charge would be Ultimecia's knight.

"I'll see you later, Seifer," she says, even though she doesn't know when she'll be back. She fights the urge to tell him to have a nice day, or to take care, or any of the silly, polite things she can say to anyone else. 'I'll see you later' sounds like a promise, but it's a promise to herself, a promise that she won't forget him, or what it's like to be trapped on this boat, wanting to change the past. He doesn't say anything.

She finds Aviva, the ship's navigator, before she disembarks, and asks if he'll be allowed to practice with his gunblade.

"Elle, I know some of the others weren't happy about keeping him here, but we're all SeeDs. He won't get the jump on us."

Ellone shakes her head. "I wanted to make sure you would let him. He needs a something to do, maybe some sparring partners; he doesn't need wardens."

Aviva gives her a blank look, and Ellone remembers so many years of frustration, of discovering that her friends, her peers and even her juniors, were really just her babysitters.

"Think about it," Ellone says, and signals to the Esthar ship.

-

Ellone is back sooner than she expects. She's blissful in the main suite of the presidential palace, in her designated place as the center of the Uncle Laguna's world, but Esthar itself leaves her unhappy. It reminds her of being watched, cold green walls, and strange red eyes. It hasn't changed enough since Adel's soldiers brought her there.

Winhill, on the other hand, has changed too much. There are new people living there, in the town that once derided Laguna for being a foreigner, and a new woman owns Raine's pub. She seemed very nice, but couldn't quite understand why Ellone was in her home.

It's my home, Ellone wanted to insist, but, of course, that isn't true. She still technically owns the house next door, with her toys rotting away upstairs and the pictures of her parents gathering dust. No one ever fixed the bullet holes in the walls. Ellone doesn't want to live there. She'd rather return to the White SeeD ship.

Before she does, she visits Balamb Garden. She thinks she'll like it there; Garden is familiar enough, but it doesn't have any place in her past. She's never trained against T-Rexaurs, or spent hours waiting in line for hot dogs, or poring over the library's surprisingly extensive collection of Pupurun comics.

Some of these experiences can slip, fragmented, into her mind, if she focuses on Squall and his friends. She's never done this on purpose, not like when she sent them to see Laguna's past, but the boredom on the White SeeD ship often led her to experiment with her powers. When they didn't remember her, they would dream, and she would sometimes find herself traipsing through their minds, twisting them back and forth through each others' memories. She's gotten too good at that. She finds that they remember her now. She thought she'd like that, but she doesn't.

Quistis is unsure around her, although she shouldn't be. She's beautiful and adult, and she's more than won her role as the group's new older sister. But that makes her Ellone's replacement, and Ellone's presence reminds everyone of this. The first night Ellone spends at Garden, she finds herself in Quistis's dreams and Quistis's past, constantly arguing with the other children at the orphanage and constantly ignored. No one listens to her, not even when she's right. Everyone listens to Sis.

The next night she's fighting with Seifer, and she's crying so hard she thinks she'll wet herself soon, and then Seifer will only make fun of her more. No one ever invites her to tag along; they all think she's weak and too loud and a tattletale. Only sometimes Sis makes them, but someday, Zell thinks, he won't need Sis's help.

The third night is the worst; she's alone, and Sis is nowhere in sight, and Ellone wakes up crying because she hadn't realized how much Squall needed her, and how hard he'd worked to never need her again.

She's glad Irvine and Selphie have gone to Trabia; she doesn't want to see herself in their past. She wants to tell Quistis that she respects her, and she wants to tell Zell how much everyone at Garden admires him, and she wants to tell Squall she's sorry, and how she couldn't help leaving. Instead she tells them she'll be going soon, and on the fourth night she feels their relief.

She doesn't think she'll be spending much time with Seifer Almasy, even though she knows they'll be on the same ship. He never liked Sis, not even as a child, so she resolves not to focus on him. His past is worse than hers, and it would do them both some good to live for the future. She doesn't expect that he'll seek her out.

He finds her alone in Edea's cabin. He's grown, she thinks, which isn't that unusual for someone not yet twenty, but it could simply be that he's lost weight and it makes him look taller. His baggy, standard-issue White SeeD clothes don't help.

"You were at Garden, right?" He must have overheard her talking with Aviva. "Do you remember Fujin and Raijin?" How could she not, after Lunatic Pandora?

He looks down at her expectantly. There are dark circles under his eyes. She won't think about his sleep, or what his dreams are. "Raijin's really big, he's got kind of a funny walk, and Fujin's pale, got an eyepatch…" He trails off. "Lots of people know them there. Or knew them."

People still know them, Ellone thinks, although not everyone likes them after their decision to stand by the Sorceress's Knight. She doesn't say that. She thinks Seifer knows already.

"Cid seems to like them," she says. "I saw them in his office. He trusts them. I think he wanted them to relay a message to Trabia Garden."

Seifer strikes angrily at the windowpane. "They should've been made SeeDs by now. Cid knows they're forty times more talented than most of those kids. He keeps using them to run errands. They're better than that. He should've insisted they take the test last year."

"Oh." Ellone says. She doesn't actually know very much about the Garden ranking system; she's only an honorary White SeeD, at best. Edea didn't like her training with the others, not when it increased her chances of sending them back into the past. The White SeeDs are Edea's older children, the ones that remember bits and pieces of the first sorceress war: soldiers in their playrooms, and parents suddenly disappearing. Even the friendliest among them knew to keep some distance from Ellone.

"You wanna know why they didn't make SeeD?"

Ellone doesn't say anything. He'll tell her anyway, she knows. It's probably been too long since he's had a real conversation with anyone. He has a team of White SeeDs caring for him at all times. They cook his meals, provide him with shelter, and keep him safe. They'll whisk him away to distant waters at the slightest sign of a Galbadian Army ship and tacitly prevent Garden interfering with his life. Keeping Seifer alive is their mission.

Despite all that, she doubts they pay much attention to him. She couldn't envision a worse punishment for Seifer Almasy.

"I was the head of the disciplinary committee," Seifer continues, "So they didn't want to make SeeD without me. They said it would look bad, and I'd get stuck with a couple of punk underclassmen who wouldn't follow orders. They didn't wanna leave me behind. So they kept flunking their written tests on purpose."

He's not looking at her anymore, but instead stares out the window. He must hate the sight of the ocean by now. His hands are fists. Ellone wonders if they ever did return his gunblade.

"Cid should've figured it out. No way two DC members wouldn't know enough to pass those tests. God, what a moron." One of the fists strikes his thigh.

"You could write them, maybe?" Ellone suggests. "There are computer terminals below decks. I'm sure if you sent them a message, they'd be happy to receive it."

"Yeah, and what happens when somebody figures out they're in touch with me?" He shakes his head. "Isn't that against Garden rules by now?" He sounds like he'd like it to be. It might prove that Garden is still thinking about him, that anyone is still thinking about him. "Anyway," he continues, "they're my friends, but they better hold off until they make SeeD. I told 'em so. Doesn't make any sense to let themselves get dragged down anymore."

Ellone wishes she could offer more than a platitude, but sometimes that's the best she can do. "If they're your friends, they won't mind."

He looks at her now, sneering. She remembers how he'd do that as a child, but it didn't look so ugly and distorted then.

"There's no 'if.' They're my friends, okay? My posse's all I've got, so next time you're at Garden you tell 'em to pass that SeeD test. I want to be proud of them."

He pushes away from the window and starts up the stairs to the deck. Ellone wants to tell him about when they were younger, how Zell wanted to be his friend so badly, and how he and Selphie would cause destruction, drive Edea crazy. How Irvine wanted to be like him, a little bit. How he and Quisty would marshal the toddlers and boss them around, generals in their own make-believe army.

Don't you remember? She wants to say. You used to have lots of friends. You used to be part of another group. Not the leader. Just another member. You can do it again.

Matron arrives. Ellone watches the way he swerves to avoid even touching her elbow in the cramped stairwell, and the pained look on Matron's face in response. Ellone knows she should feel sympathy; she's Matron's chosen favorite, Edea's lifetime project. Instead she feels surprisingly satisfied. Ellone will have to spend the rest of her life grateful to Edea and Cid Kramer for keeping her cloistered, letting her give up on the present and future. They may have kept her safe, but she still hates them for it, sometimes. There's a happy, free sadism in knowing that Matron will be denied forgiveness and thanks from someone.

"You'll be staying here, since Seifer has your old cabin," Matron tells her graciously. Matron is always gracious, still fairly young, with no marks of suffering anywhere on her. Still wasp-waisted and still painfully lovely. Even Raine, Ellone remembers, gained scars and pounds and lost hair. She would show signs that she hadn't slept, and that Laguna's absence was painful to her. Raine was a mother, and she had very human flaws; Matron is a commander and a captain, and the loss of her sorcery hasn't kept her from being somewhat inhuman to Ellone.

"Thank you, Matron," Ellone says. Always thank you. Matron smiles, and looks radiant.

-

She works hard to stay in her own consciousness that night. She still catches small flashes of other people. Some of the White SeeDs are glad their captain has returned, and some are worried about their newest, most argumentative charge yet. A few remember Ellone as she used to be, small and mousy, dressed in blue and white. It merges with more recent recollections: Ellone as she is, thin and mousy, dressed in blue and white. It's depressing how little she's changed.

Matron thinks oddly, strategically. She knows Ellone's powers better than Ellone herself, and Ellone has never been able to penetrate the older woman's consciousness fully. She gets images of a young, chubby Cid, and repetitive motions of a thousand scraped knees, a thousand muddy jumpers that need patient washing. It's the tiniest fraction of Edea Kramer's life, but it's the only fraction Edea wants to show others.

Seifer's dreams are awful, and over very quickly. Fujin and Raijin are right behind him, except when he loses them, and they're somewhere on the other side of the orphanage lighthouse. That's where Garden is, or maybe where they're holding his last SeeD test. He would make it there, if it weren't for the parade in the way, and Matron guides him back inside, tells him he's a silly little boy for wanting so much attention. It's safer back here in the past, she explains, where nobody cares about him. Can't he see?

Ellone jerks herself out of his mind as soon as she realizes where she is, and her half-awake self feels terrible. Does he dream like that every night, or is it only Ellone's presence that forces all his bad memories to intermingle?

She's drowsy, falling back into dream and memory, when he shakes her fully awake.

"Stay out of my head," Seifer says. "You think I can't tell when somebody's in my head now?"

"It wasn't intentional. I can't sleep like other people; I get relaxed, and it gets too easy to use someone else's consciousness."

"You're some kind of sorceress."

She stares at him, her eyes adjusting to the darkness, and realizes that he probably doesn't understand sorceress magic at all, despite having been Ultimecia's Knight.

"I'm not…I'm just…" There isn't a word for what she is, except 'Ellone.' That's what Odine's machine is called, the one that will someday warp time and ruin Seifer's life in the process. Her name is a byword for that, for possession and time compression and heaven knows what else. "I'm the past," she says. "I do things to time."

"She wanted you," Seifer says. "I had to find you, no matter what. That's why I kidnapped you. At first, I thought you were the other sorceress or something. It's basically the same thing. You're not any better than a sorceress. You're not normal."

Neither are you, she thinks, but, then again, Seifer has never wanted to be normal. And he isn't. What a way for his wishes to come true.

"I'm not normal," she agrees. "I'll stay out of your head."

He makes a disgusted sound and returns to his cabin. He won't sleep anymore tonight, and neither will she. It doesn't matter. She'll sleep in Esthar tomorrow, in a room lined with Odine's magic-dampening technology. It won't be a pleasant sleep, but it will be sleep.

-

Garden has winter vacation, and Squall arrives in Esthar. So does Rinoa Heartilly. Ellone has never properly met her before, since peeking into Rinoa's past or sending her whirling through time don't really count as introductions. Still, she has opinions about Rinoa before they even get to know each other.

Over the past six months, Rinoa Heartilly has been integral to the foundation of Timber's new independent government, while Ellone has wandered around, mostly unhappily, and occasionally been photographed standing by the President of Esthar at public functions. Rinoa has made very public trips to Odine's laboratory, committed to understanding her new powers. Ellone avoids the place at all costs. Rinoa is a famous Galbadian heiress turned champion of the new world order. Ellone comes from nowhere, from a town most people assumed was wiped out after the first sorceress war, and she never champions anything. She doesn't give interviews.

Ellone can feel Kiros's hesitation when he explains that Squall will bring his girlfriend in tow. She feels Laguna's happiness diminish a bit, when he realizes his adopted daughter will be meeting his daughter-to-be. She feels Ward's unease. Everyone worries about the two young women, as though they're destined to dislike each other. She wishes she could tell them how ridiculous they're being. To them, Rinoa will always be Julia in many ways, an exciting prospect, a maybe-lover. Ellone will always be Raine. Rinoa is Squall's future, and Ellone is the only one with a proper recollection of Squall's past. Rinoa is the new; Ellone is the old.

Ellone understands better than anyone how new and old, the present and the past, are ultimately very stupid distinctions. It's possible to reach inside Laguna's memories and find a moment when the situation was reversed, when a certain Ms. Heartilly was part of the unreachable past, and another mousy-haired girl from Winhill held the key to his future. Ellone is more than just a memory, and Rinoa is more than just a promise. So were Julia and Raine, even if it's too painful for Laguna to think of them as whole, individual people.

So she decides that, no matter what, she'll like Rinoa Heartilly. And she does.

Rinoa never treats her like 'Sis,' and she isn't afraid that Ellone will catapult her into the past. She does not do a double-take when, in the middle of dinner, Ellone gives a sign that she might have picked up memories of General Caraway, a man Ellone's never even met. She rolls her eyes when Squall seems concerned about Ellone shopping alone, and corners Ellone later to complain about how overprotective he and Laguna can be. She helps Ellone and the palace aides address party invitations to the Estharian elite, and is properly apologetic whenever her powers flare up and set Odine's invitation on fire (six times).

"It's alright," Ellone tells her, touching her sleeve to show that she won't treat the sorceress any differently now that she's seen her power. "He'll show up even if we don't invite him. Laguna's tried to keep him out of the palace for nearly twenty years."

"I can't like him," Rinoa admits. "And I like everybody, eventually. I even like Irvine now, and you won't believe what a coward he was when I met him."

"People expect you to like others," Ellone says, understanding. "So you do. Otherwise you'd be too different from everyone else."

Rinoa nods. "It's not just the…" She waves a hand at the charred envelope, "The powers. I think some of our friends like me better now; I'm special, not just a civilian anymore. It was harder to get to know them when they thought I was some sweet, silly kid. Nobody ever told Squall he had to be nice, you know? So he never was. Being strong was so much more important. I always had to be both."

"Does he wish you weren't so nice all the time? Think you should hold more people at arms' length?" Ellone can see Squall chafing at Rinoa's undiscriminating sociability.

Rinoa laughs. "I don't listen to him about that. I do about some things, but that's just stupid."

Rinoa knocks on her door later, and enters without waiting for a reply. She looks nervous.

"I don't think you should go see Odine, at least not if you don't want to," Rinoa says without preamble. "I do it because I choose to, so if anyone…"

Ellone smiles. Squall hates Rinoa's visits to Odine, but wishes Ellone would take the same care with her own powers. Laguna privately wishes Odine would evaporate, but worries that Ellone isn't taking full advantage of the doctor's technology. She has them both so twisted up about her place in the future that they almost don't know how to address her without fearing a repeat of her past.

She knows they love her, but she's glad Rinoa Heartilly understands her.

"I know," Ellone says. "Good luck, Rinoa."

-

When Squall and Rinoa leave, and Uncle Laguna is busy with the maze of diplomatic relations between Esthar, the Timber Free State, and the New Galbadian Republic, Ellone spends a week doing charity work, as recommended by Kiros. The Sorceress Memorial has been converted into an orphanage for the children left parentless after the Lunar Cry, and another caretaker is always appreciated. Ellone thinks about how unhappy these children are, stuck among the Memorial's cold, modern architecture, with a woman who makes them think about their dead parents.

She had never been truly happy in Edea's orphanage, not when she was without Laguna and Raine. Even Squall sometimes made her sad; Ellone had the memories of their family, but all he'd had was Ellone.

She'd never been as unhappy as these children. When she asks Kiros what will become of them, he shakes his head.

"Estharians aren't big on adopting," he explains. "It's cultural, I think. Children are a liability in general, here, since you can't take care of them and run your own laboratory at the same time, or even attend the engineering academy. Plus, any child they took care of was another child that could be taken by Adel. These kids will probably be sent to Garden when they're of age."

Ellone thinks about some of the children that were happy in Edea's orphanage: Seifer, Selphie, Quistis, Irvine. Selphie is still happy, she thinks. She hasn't seen her in a long time. Quistis is doing well at Garden, but her happiness is anyone's guess. Irvine, she knows, grew up alone and definitely unhappy. Seifer is damaged.

Who will be the next Selphie? Ellone wonders. The next Quistis? The next Irvine? The next Seifer?

And what if these children develop strange powers? Will they be sent to Odine, or to the White SeeDs?

Who will be the next me?

Ellone knows that it can take no time at all for the future to become the past.

-

This time, she visits the White SeeD before going to Garden. No one told Seifer this. She finds him in her old cabin, which looks depressingly similar to how she left it. The walls and coverlet are still an unfortunately juvenile baby blue, and it doesn't suit Seifer at all. The only evidence of his residency is on the far wall, which adjoins Edea's cabin. It's full of angry pockmarks; he must spend hours just punching it, trying to keep Matron awake. His gunblade is nowhere in sight.

He's doing pushups on the floor, but he gets up when she walks in, and she can see that he's gained back some muscle. It doesn't make him look any healthier, not when his skin is paler than she's ever seen it, and his mouth seems locked in a permanent snarl.

"How are they? They make SeeD yet?"

Ellone pauses. It takes her a full minute to remember his posse. "I don't know. I haven't been to Garden yet."

Seifer bats at her angrily, too far away to touch her. He still manages to make the gesture as violent as possible. "Why're you bothering me for, then? They'll be holding the SeeD exam around this time. You tell them to let me know when they get in."

"I thought you might want me to relay a message for you." She waits, but he doesn't say anything. "You know, like 'good luck?'"

"They don't need luck. They're meant to be SeeDs. There are Garden Instructors who could learn a thing or two from Fujin and Raijin."

She puts her hand on the doorframe, wants to let him know that she won't be sticking around much longer.

"'Good luck' is generally just a polite thing to say, Seifer."

"Well, that's not my style. If you want to be Miss Manners, though," he sneers, "Don't let me stop you."

"Right." Ellone turns to go.

She's halfway up the stairs to the deck when he bellows after her, "Tell 'em I said congratulations!"

She doesn't know what to think about that. She hopes his friends pass.

-

They do. She doesn't have a chance to speak to them until long after she arrives, though. She's uncomfortable at first, and far too dressed up, and Irvine Kinneas claims her attention for two dances in a row. Zell makes faces at him from across the room for monopolizing her, but Irvine is too happy to care. He looks wonderful in his new SeeD uniform, even with that silly hat on his head, and he whirls her around in elaborate patterns, making sure every woman in the room can see him.

"Didn't think I'd forget you, did you, Sis?"

"I know you didn't," Ellone says, "The others did, but not you."

Irvine looks chagrined. "I meant for the dance. Like…It wasn't like…they didn't mean to, you know. It's just that the GFs made it difficult to remember…" He's a wonderful dancer, but he loses his balance at that moment, and steps on her foot.

Ellone waves her hands in front of his face. "Forget it. My silly mistake, Irvy. This is your night. Tell me about the exam."

Irvine grimaces. "Well, I think they tried to make it easy for me on purpose. It was a scouting mission for Trabia Garden, and I've been there so much this past year that everybody knows I know the terrain already. Kind of embarrassing."

"Stop it, Irvine," Ellone says, "I know you did everything wonderfully, and you deserve to be a SeeD."

"Maybe, but it's not very heroic. The Trabians wanted to do most of their rebuilding themselves, so all we did was clear an area of monsters for them."

"It doesn't have to be heroic," Ellone reminds him, "To be brave. I'm proud of you." She is, but, even if she wasn't, what else could she say at this moment? Irvine was always overshadowed by the other, louder kids. She hadn't thought he would ever find his place, but he's proven her wrong.

"Yeah, well…" Irvine pauses and spins her around. Ellone tries not to fall. "You should come visit us more often. I see everybody else all the time, and there're some of the older kids, they're White SeeDs now, helping us out in Trabia. You're just about the only one I don't see anymore."

He dips her. "Well, you and Seifer. Guess that can't be helped. Matron looks after him, though." He smiles. "Looks like all the orphanage gang is doing alright."

The music changes tempo, and Irvine starts shepherding her through the steps of a second, faster dance. It's harder to talk through this one, since she has to focus on her feet, but Ellone wonders if Irvine really believes what he says. Seeing how happy he is tonight, she doesn't want to contradict him.

When the dance is over, she asks after Fujin and Raijin. Irvine scratches his chin and glances around at their fellow dancers.

"They passed the test, but I don't see them here. Selphie might know where they are. She's kinda friendly with them." Irvine waves Selphie over, but she doesn't know, either, and she brings all their friends in tow. There are obligatory dances with Zell, Squall, and Cid after that, and the ball is almost over by the time Ellone can excuse herself.

She heads to the balcony, mainly wanting to avoid being propositioned for any more dances. Squall looks at her with understanding from his position on the dance floor; altogether too many attendees have lined up to dance with SeeD's commander. When she gets there, she finds Fujin and Raijin sitting on the railing.

They make a less incongruous pair in matching SeeD uniforms, but (now that they aren't kidnapping her and dragging her into Lunatic Pandora) she actually finds them somewhat comical. Raijin mumbles something that makes Fujin reach out and smack him, and he nearly tumbles off the side of the Garden. Instead he rights himself and shifts so that there are a few feet between them, talking to his companion all the while. Ellone walks over and takes up the space between them.

Fujin looks down at her. "LOST?"

"She can't be lost," Raijin says. "There's only one exit out of the balcony, ya know?"

Fujin proves that the few extra feet are no obstacle to her temper by reaching over and smacking him again.

"WELL?"

"Seifer says congratulations," Ellone tells them. "He's proud of you. I think he wants you to get in touch with him."

Raijin falls off the balcony. The drop to the dormitory roof is thankfully fairly small, and he climbs back up in less than a minute. Fujin hits her hand against her forehead.

"IDIOT."

"Well, I'm sorry, ya know? You can't expect me not to be surprised. He hasn't written us or anything and now he s—"

"NOT YOU."

"Oh."

They don't look at her. Ellone figures her mission is over, and gets ready to leave. She's spending the night on an Estharian ship parked in Balamb harbor, and she doesn't want her escort to Balamb to wait too long for her.

"WAIT."

"We don't know how to contact him. He didn't give us directions or anything, ya know? Just told us we could still be great SeeDs, but he'd decided to take off with Edea. He didn't even explain why, ya know?"

"MELODRAMA."

Ellone has to agree with her. She reels off the contact information for the White SeeD ship.

"When I see him next time, I'll let you guys know," she tells Fujin and Raijin. She doesn't want to leave them with nothing, not when they both look so tense.

"It'd be good if he could write too, ya know? Tell him its okay. Tell him…"

"APOLOGY ACCEPTED."

"We were never mad at him, ya know?"

Ellone wonders if Seifer would have preferred it if they had been angry. If that would have made his (apparently self-inflicted) isolation more impressive, more complete.

Fujin's right. He is an idiot.

-

Ellone returns to the White Seed Ship just to tell him so.

"You let me think they were keeping you trapped here," she says. "It wasn't very nice of you."

"I'm not nice, Miss Manners. I fired missiles at a school full of children, remember? And, the last time I checked, your White SeeDs confiscated my weapon and haven't let me off their little sailboat in months."

"You chose to come here, Seifer. Edea never put you up to it."

He spreads out his hands, gesturing out across the ocean. "Here or the D-District, or some lab for nutcases in Esthar where they'll figure out why it drives me nuts to have magic creeping around my brain. Or some Garden tribunal where Cid tells everyone about all the chances he gave me, while your little brother gets ready to lodge some bullets in my chest. Yeah, I had some great options."

"Well, I didn't," Ellone says. "I was stuck on this stupid boat for over a decade, and I never chose to be, and I thought you understood what that was like. I thought it was the same."

Seifer laughs at her.

"You're related to the president of Esthar, and the commander of SeeD. And Edea worships the ground you walk on. I'm the worst tragedy to ever walk the halls of Balamb Garden. Even the White SeeDs think I'm bringing them bad luck, and their idea of good luck is a dinner that doesn't revolve around eight different kinds of fish." He straightens up to his full height, trying to make her feel small. "So listen up, girl. You and me? We will never be the same. Keep dreaming."

Ellone signals to the Esthar ship to get her somewhere, anywhere else. She did what she could.

"At least you can dream," Seifer calls after her. He obviously likes getting the last word. Ellone doesn't care anymore.

-

"There was nothing you could do for that one," Quistis tells her two weeks later. "He's never been alright, Sis." Quistis is patrolling the presidential palace, hired by a Galbadian diplomat with a completely illogical fear of assassination. Ellone wanted to tell him that Laguna doesn't do politics like that, and that the money he spent on SeeD was a complete waste, but she thinks he got the message when the Estharian president felt compelled to hug his new bodyguard.

Quistis was entirely professional about the whole affair, of course, and didn't even hug Laguna back, so the diplomat can't exactly ask for a refund. Ellone feels a bit bad for him.

Ellone watches Quistis move around outside the Estharian conference room in a businesslike fashion, no doubt setting up a perimeter or doing something equally militaristic. Quistis has changed the most physically, and she reminds Ellone of Edea in her more frighteningly, perfectly efficient moments, but she's still very easy to read.

Quistis's consciousness is identical to that of a little girl Ellone used to know, who once bossed the younger children around and lined them all up in perfect military formation as Seifer barked out orders. She still wants to know what everyone is thinking, and she still wants to know what's best for everyone. Ellone was never really the perfect older sister; Quistis was.

And then, suddenly, Quistis stops, pivots, and faces Ellone.

"I used to do that?" She asks, confused. "Seifer and I…were we friends? Are those my memories?"

Ellone hadn't even realized that she'd been so strongly focused on Quistis. She hadn't meant to send Quistis back into the past, or to bring the past forward, or whatever it was she just did.

"Did you send me into his consciousness?" Quistis shakes herself, as if she hopes the action will make all her memories fall neatly into place. "Or…how do you do that? What just happened?"

Ellone can't explain it. Since she discovered that she couldn't change the past, since she rediscovered Uncle Laguna, since Time Compression, maybe, she's been at odds with her powers. Or maybe she's been at odds with them since they meant that she was snatched away from Raine, from her only home, and then later from Squall. What does it matter when the problem began: in the past, the present, or the future?

She's never been fully in control, not even when she meant to send them back into Laguna's youth. She couldn't alter his life, after all, or even her own.

Ellone's powers are special, they've captivated a sorceress of the past, and someday they'll electrify a sorceress in the future. They changed the course of Ellone's life, and of millions of lives. Ellone still doesn't really know why. She's an aberration. She doesn't understand herself.

"I have to go, Quisty," she says.

"Sis?" Quistis asks, somewhere behind her, or maybe from somewhere in the past. Ellone wishes people wouldn't call her that, or that they'd decide who she is: sister in their past, daughter in their present, or even just another kind of sorceress, the menace of the future. She's sick of being all of them at once.

-

Ellone isn't surprised when Squall stops by a few days later. Quistis can be an incorrigible gossip when she's worried. He comes without Rinoa, but informs Ellone that it wasn't his choice. Timber and the Dollet Dukedom Parliament are considering an alliance based mainly in their mutual desire to thwart future Galbadian invasions, and Rinoa is spearheading the opening talks. Ellone can't really fault her for not showing up.

"Are you upset?" she asks Squall. She thought maybe he'd want to be with Rinoa all the time. "I know you don't like being alone."

Squall shakes his head. "I'm not alone. She hasn't left me; she's just in Timber."

A year ago, Ellone knows, he might not have understood that distinction. He and Rinoa are still very new, still in the first adolescent stages of their relationship, but they've already grown tremendously together.

Squall sits in the armchair next to her bed, and stares at a point on the wall behind her.

"I used to be afraid of becoming memories," he tells Ellone after a few minutes. "Like, what you became when you left. Or what Seifer became after the sorceress took him."

Or, Ellone thinks, what Raine became. What Julia became. She isn't exactly like them. She isn't dead yet, for one thing. But you don't have to be dead to be inaccessible.

"So are you back yet?" Squall asks abruptly, "Or are you still living in memories? You said you understood how much Laguna loved you, but maybe that hasn't brought you back to us yet. Do you want me here, too?"

He wants to know what it would take to change her, to bring her back in sync with the progression of time. Ellone doesn't know. She suspects that forcing Squall and Rinoa to relocate to Esthar wouldn't work, however.

Ellone's turn to shake her head. "You're perfect where you are, Squall. I just need to know where I am. My powers don't make any sense, you know."

"I know," Squall says. "I recalled all my memories after we beat Ultimecia. There's an order to them; there has to be. Only the times you sent me back into Laguna are different. It's like you exist to disrupt the order."

Ellone picks at her pillow, and wonders how her adoptive brother can be so brilliant and so insensitive at the same time.

"Well, there you have it," she tells him. "I don't belong. I haven't got a place."

Squall looks at her quizzically. "I didn't say that. You have a place. It's just…" he gestures vaguely with one gloved hand, "It's outside the order of time. It's unique."

Ellone feels her frustration rising. "So I'll spend the rest of my life tangled in memories. I'll just keep forcing everyone to relive their pasts, over and over. I might as well move back to the White SeeD ship, or never leave this room."

Squall smacks his hand against his brow, like he can't believe how stupid she is. "Just because you're special, it doesn't mean things will come easily to you. You have to work at it. You have to make your own place."

Ellone thinks she knows what he's getting at. It's what he's wanted to tell her ever since he saw her over winter vacation, what Rinoa deliberately warned her against. But he doesn't say it.

Instead he looks her in the eyes and says, "I can't believe you need to take advice from me," like he's trying to shame her.

Ellone has to laugh at that.

She's not laughing when, a few hours later, she makes an appointment to meet with an ecstatic Dr. Odine. But Squall is by her side the whole time, and doesn't even look that exasperated when Laguna makes him stay for dinner.

Before he returns to Garden that night, he informs Ellone that his friends have never just left him in peace.

"It got really annoying, with a concert, and then they wanted my ring, and Zell just made me go with him to meet some girl from the library, whose name I don't even know…" Squall trails off. "But I'm not a memory, and neither are you. So I might drop by like this sometimes, even when you don't want me to."

He makes it sound so menacing that Ellone laughs again, and he even gives her a small smile.

So that's that. Time can move forward, properly, and change is possible. Life doesn't have to be endless, lonely tedium.

Squall, of all people, is proof of this.

-

Her first appointment with Odine is very basic, just a general checkup, followed by a meeting with his secretaries, who pencil her in for bi-weekly visits. Laguna almost insists on accompanying her, but eventually settles on demanding that Squall provide her with a SeeD escort.

Squall sends her Selphie and Zell, Garden's best, though perhaps not Garden's most intimidating. Odine sneers at their presence in his laboratory, but Ellone feels comforted. She feeds them lunch and lets them both hang out in her room after her appointment, and wonders at how well they both look.

Selphie is the first ever Intra-Garden coordinator, overseeing the relations between each Garden, and Cid has as good as promised Zell that he'll be captain on his next mission.

"He thinks we've got real leadership potential," Zell says, perched on Ellone's desk while thumbing through an old issue of Timber Maniacs, "Pretty good for the orphanage gang, huh?"

She's surprised that Zell would mention the orphanage. He was never very happy there. Zell is a strong, smart, powerful young man, but he owes this mainly to the Dinchts. Ellone remembers when he was a sensitive runt, and Matron never had enough time or attention for him (or any of them, really). She's glad Zell has a home.

"Yeah," Ellone says. "Pretty good."

Selphie skips over to Zell and picks the magazine out of his hands.

"Woah! A thirteenth issue! I've never seen this one."

"Vinzer Deling had most of those destroyed," Ellone says. "It was the last issue published, and it was…incendiary. Laguna has a really good article in there. You can go ask him about it, if you like."

"Isn't he in a meeting right now?" Zell asks.

Selphie jumps up and down excitedly. "It'll only take a second! And I'm sure he won't mind, right, Sis?"

Ellone thinks about Laguna's daily routine – meetings and press conferences and the heads of the engineering academy over for nearly every meal – and about how badly he wants to spend more time with her, and with Squall. He's a good man, the best she's ever known, and he'll always put Esthar first, but she thinks he'd welcome any distraction he can get. She waves a hand at the door. "Just go, and don't let Kiros know I sent you."

Selphie leaves, clutching the magazine to her chest, and Ellone wonders wryly if she'll see it again.

"You do realize that Tim Mani number thirteen will probably end up somewhere in Selphie's room with Laguna's autograph scrawled on the cover, right?"

Ellone laughs. "I don't mind. I'm sure she'll post all the best parts on her Laguna fanpage."

"I don't let her near my stuff if I can help it. I bet Selphie'd steal the cloak off of a tonberry if she could." Despite his unsympathetic words, Zell isn't chastising Selphie. His tone is almost satisfied. Having close friends agrees with him, Ellone thinks.

"What's this Squall tells me," she teases, "About a girl in the library?"

Zell's shoulders droop. "Man, I can't believe he actually told you about that. I dated her for, like, not even a year, but she wanted to transfer to G-Garden for their new linguist program, so I arranged a meeting with the Commander. Then he goes out and tells Rinoa. Then Rinoa tells Irvine and Quistis, who tells it to Cid, and Selphie, who writes about it in her diary, and it turns into some tragic story about my doomed long-distance relationship." He buries his head in his hands. "We're not even together anymore. Honestly, I thought Squall, of all people, would have more sense."

"If it helps, I think he was grousing more than gossiping. And there's probably a nice side to being Garden's newest tragic, heart-broken hero. I bet lots of girls will start paying attention to you now."

Zell looks stricken. "God, that would be so stupid. Like, 'oh, somebody broke Zell's heart, let's rescue him from it?'"

Ellone laughs nervously. "Yeah, I guess it is a bit silly."

"There was stuff like that after the whole Ultimecia business, because, you know, plenty of people who used to think I was a moron suddenly figured I had to be at least a little bit awesome, but I'd just been covering up all my talent with my loud mouth or something. Even Doctor Kadowaki was like, 'Zell, I'm so proud that you've blossomed overnight.'"

He scoffs. Ellone can't ever remember seeing Zell get really furious, not like Seifer or Quistis or even Selphie got furious. He was mostly a petulant crier, with weekly tantrums that no one took very seriously. Now, however, with his hands angrily clawing at his knees and his lips drawn tight, he looks so positively un-Zell-like that she knows he must be beyond furious.

"And it was such a pain in the ass." He exhales loudly. "It was like none of them even noticed that I'd been working, and training, and trying so hard since I was thirteen, and not so any of them could decide that I was a hero. For me. And I'm proud of my work, but they all thought I'd like it better if they assumed it was effortless. Like I'd just been wandering around Garden for four whole years because I was misunderstood and depressed and secretly better than everybody else: some tragic hero."

Ellone looks down at her hands, and thinks about a year spent drifting from Esthar to Winhill to Garden and back, avoiding the present. She thinks about how she'd kept from discussing her powers with anyone until Squall confronted her, and she thinks about how little she's accomplished, for herself or for anyone else. She thinks about Laguna, and what it must be like to have a beloved daughter uninterested in her own future, or even in the present.

"Some people aren't as smart as you, I guess," Ellone offers, "I mean, they actually think like that. You know: 'nobody really gets me and I'm just different.'"

Zell punches her desk, and for a moment Ellone thinks she's given it away, and she's troubled. She doesn't want Zell – the kindest, most reliable, most grown of Edea's orphans – to recognize her immaturity.

But all he says is, "I keep forgetting that you've been to the White Seed ship," and he looks slightly disgusted. "Yeah, okay, so Seifer's like that. But I'm not." He gets up and begins striking at the air, as if he can't go more than a few minutes without practicing his stances. "And if I was, I hope nobody would let me get away with it."

Ellone considers this. "Yeah. It would be hard to pull yourself out of it. You'd need some kind of intervention, or a rescue."

Zell gives the empty space in front of him a particularly vicious uppercut. "Man, not really. I'd just need somebody to call me on my bullshit."

-

It's pretty poor of her to repay those words of wisdom by dragging Selphie and Zell to the White SeeD ship, but that's exactly what Ellone does. She doesn't do it to upset them, but she'd rather take off with two SeeDs and a burgeoning, half-baked plan than tell Uncle Laguna that she'll need her usual ship and full presidential escort for a rescue mission that will probably fail. Luckily, Selphie waited exactly a week after Time Compression to repossess the Ragnarok from the Estharian government (using a stratagem that Ellone has yet to figure out), so they at least travel in style.

Zell, of course, also travels with his head in his hands.

"Aw, man. This isn't what I meant."

"Well, then you shouldn't have given me any ideas," Ellone says.

"What did he say?" Selphie asks.

He sinks further into his padded chair. "You're as bad as she is. You're both as bad as Rinoa, even."

"Thank you."

"Thank you," Selphie says, and turns around in her pilot's chair. "What did you say?"

Zell makes an anguished face. "Look at the controls, and I'll tell you."

Selphie rubs her hands together. "Tell me, and I'll look at the controls."

In the interest of not crashing their airship, Ellone decides to tell her. "He said that Seifer needs to be called on all his silliness, and he's right. So our mission is to rescue Seifer from himself."

She feels embarrassed saying those words. Her voice sounds off, almost too high. Still, it's an exciting embarrassment. She's spent almost a year circling the problem of Seifer Almasy, but to no avail. No big surprise there. She realizes, now, that focusing on Seifer kept her from facing the problem of herself. If she's going to face her life, however, there's no reason he shouldn't.

Selphie folds her hands over her chest. "Are we so sure he needs rescuing?"

"No. But I'm sure you should look at the controls," Zell says.

"Not until we deal with this," Selphie says firmly. She tilts her chin stubbornly and looks at Ellone, and for the briefest moment Ellone sees the terrible rubble of Trabia Garden, and the crude, makeshift crosses that mark where Selphie's friends – or what was left of them – were buried. It's probably what Selphie will always see when she hears Seifer's name, and Ellone's excitement gives way to frustration.

She remembers how Selphie and Seifer were once friends, two small risk-takers with the capacity to dream better lives for themselves. She remembers how Matron would blame Seifer for most of Selphie's pranks, and how Selphie would retaliate. There would be sand in Matron's morning coffee, for underestimating Selphie, and glue in Seifer's hair, for nobly taking a punishment that, by rights, belonged to his friend. Then Seifer would strike back, and the ensuing war would be thoroughly enjoyable for the both of them, if somewhat harrowing for the other inhabitants of the orphanage.

Of all the tricks time can play, Ellone thinks, this is the worst. It makes no sense, the way a wonderful past will surrender to an awful present.

Then Selphie claps her hands together once, and smiles oddly at the ceiling. "Neat trick, sis! Okay, so I hadn't remembered that." Ellone blinks. This, like the incident with Quistis, is entirely unintentional. But she doesn't regret it this time, not if it helps canny little Selphie Tilmitt reach adulthood a cheerful, unburdened young woman.

Selphie levels a finger at her passengers. "So, leaving aside that I might have a score to settle with him, Sis is trying to say that he's still one of us. And she has a point."

"When did Sis say this?"

Selphie looks at Zell pityingly. "No good memories for you, huh? The question is: how will she get Seifer to come with us?"

"My question is, 'why aren't you piloting this ship?' And, also, 'why do you hate me so much that you're trying to make my last earthly conversation revolve around Seifer?'" Zell snaps.

Selphie waves him off. "The ship is set on autopilot."

Ellone exhales in relief, and feels silly. Zell just knocks his head violently against the back of his chair.

"I knew it had autopilot," he complains, "I just didn't trust you to use it. Don't think I've forgotten about the Centra mission."

"I wouldn't endanger Sis's life," Selphie says, "But back to the matter at hand. I hope you have some kind of plan for this mission, Ellone."

"I'm going to talk to him," Ellone says.

Zell groans, but Selphie beams at her. "Good start, captain! Communication is always key."

"I hate to break it to you two," Zell says, "But Seifer doesn't listen to anybody. Ask Quistis. Garden's best instructors tried to talk to him about his behavior, and he just doesn't care."

"I'm not going to talk about his behavior," Ellone says. After all, it would be easy for Seifer to ignore just another lecture. "I'm going to talk about mine."

-

"I'm sorry."

It's important to begin with an apology, Ellone thinks. She only paid Seifer any attention when it suited her to, only helped him as long as she was convinced he was a lot like herself. Ellone doesn't need to use her powers to know that Seifer's seen a lot of that already; Garden is only a temporary home for those children who won't take orders, who don't prove a decent investment. Cid encourages most the cadets who he thinks will further Garden's mission, and spends less time on the screw-ups. No wonder Seifer saw through her; he's known for a long time that support comes with a price.

He lies on his bed, which was designed for a juvenile Ellone, and not for a young man over six feet tall, and kicks at the low-hanging beams above him. "Sorry is a useless word, Miss Manners. People only say it when they want to feel better about themselves."

"Then that's probably why I'm saying it, too." Ellone admits. "But you were right. There are a lot of differences between you and me."

Seifer reaches up and flicks at something on the ceiling. His arm blocks his face from Ellone's view, but she's pretty sure he's scowling right now.

"I am really lucky, like you said," Ellone continues, even though that wasn't exactly what he had said, "I have people that really care about me. Powerful people, even."

Seifer snorts, and kicks more ferociously at the beam. It creaks ominously.

"And I do worry too much about dumb things, like saying the right words, and being too polite. It isn't strictly necessary, and half the time I end up speaking in platitudes."

Seifer holds out a hand and begins counting off on his fingers, "One: 'how interesting.' Two: 'you don't say?' Three: 'well, I hope that works out for you.' Four: 'honestly, I wish you all the best.' Five: 'thanks for coming; don't let me keep you.'"

Ellone moves further into the dark cabin and finds an old, three-legged stool stacked high with books. She piles them on the floor, and then takes a seat. "Right. It can be infuriating, talking to someone like that. Especially if they think they know you, when really they don't understand you at all."

"And then you wonder why they keep talking," Seifer says, "Instead of just leaving you alone."

"Because maybe they aren't the right people to be talking to you," Ellone says. "I mean, maybe nobody is, and you're truly alone and unreachable."

Another kick. This one dislodges a few splinters of wood. If Seifer doesn't get off this ship soon, Ellone thinks, Edea will probably have to rebuild it from scratch.

"But I don't think that's the case," Ellone says. "I mean, I know Fujin and Raijin must have tried to reach you. They aren't interested in letting you waste away, and they don't think your life has to be a tragedy; they just want to be your friends. The only person making you a tragedy is you."

Seifer swings his feet to the edge of the bed and sits up. "Do you really think that's going to work? You come in here, and tell me I'm being a drama queen, and then I agree with you?" He gives a mocking laugh. "Yeah, because I don't get that every week from Edea. Or from, you know, every Garden Instructor ever."

Ellone shakes her head. "I never called you a drama queen. But I do think that you're responsible for your own life. I do think you exiled yourself here. And I think that means that you're in control – maybe more in control than you realize – because you were the one who decided to give up on your future. Not anybody else. And you can decide to take it back again."

He opens his mouth, but Ellone continues, feeling giddy. "Yes, even though Galbadia wants to put you away, and you're too old to make Garden, and even though –"

"So you suddenly know everything about my life?" Seifer stands up, "And you think you can –"

"Even though you can't junction anymore," Ellone finishes. "Even if you can never use magic again, you still have a future."

"You've been gossiping with Edea?"

"No, Seifer, you told me. You said it drives you nuts to have magic in your brain, right?"

His eyes narrow. "How do you know I wasn't just talking about sorceresses? Women like you, who like to sneak around inside people's heads."

Ellone rolls her eyes. "Because I've been inside your head, and your head is messed up. I've seen your dreams, Seifer."

At that, Seifer winces and takes a step back, and Ellone feels terrible, but she keeps on talking.

"What I mean is…I'm not supposed to see your dreams. I'm supposed to transform your dreams into memories of the past. That's what I do to everyone I meet. Sure, sometimes I get flashes of the way they feel at present, random thoughts, but I always, always end up screwing around with their personal timeline. I didn't do that to you."

Ellone pauses, and tries to come up with some way to explain the powers that even she doesn't quite understand.

"I just saw a dream, Seifer. I didn't get your thoughts or your past." She sighs. "I mean, I thought I was seeing some of your memories, maybe twisting them together somehow, but I wasn't. It was too nonsensical for that. It was a real, honest dream, wasn't it?"

Seifer sucks his cheeks in, and for a moment he looks like his younger self, an annoyed, strong-willed little boy. "A nightmare," he says. "That's what it was. I thought you caused it, but…" He shrugs. "I get them even when you aren't poking around."

"It's like I entered your consciousness, but then I couldn't do anything to it. Once I was inside your mind, all my powers just shut down." Ellone laughs at the ridiculousness of it. "My powers warp time, but your brain warps magic."

"Try it the other way around," Seifer says furiously, "Magic warped my brain. You think I was always like this? She camped out in my head and made me think I was getting stronger, but all she was doing was burning me out from the inside. I'm useless now. Raijin nicked himself on a fishhook and I couldn't even cast cure on it."

Ellone bites her lip, and tries to find a nice way to say what she thinks. She fails.

"So what?"

He hits the wall violently. "So I'm useless. I can't fight. I used to be good at that."

"And now you're good at shutting down my powers," Ellone tells him, "Which is something nobody else can do. That makes you unique. There are tons of fighters; there's only one of you."

"Now it's my turn: so what?"

Ellone stands up. "So there's a place for you in Esthar, if you want it. Yes, you'll be studied, and yes, it can be uncomfortable, but you won't be the only one going through it. If you want to fix yourself, or…" She trails off. She can't promise he'll be fixed. "If you want some answers, Esthar is the best place to look for them."

"Because the Estharians are just going to love having me around. Not like they minded the Lunar Cry or anything."

"Maybe not, but do you really care? You were the Sorceress's Knight. Going anywhere, even staying here, is going to be difficult for you."

He laughs bitterly at that, but doesn't seem insulted. "Yeah, at least the White SeeDs would cry buckets if I left. Buckets of joy, anyway."

Seifer looks down, and fingers one white uniform trouser leg.

"If I hate it, I'm getting out of there," he says. "But I hate it here, too. So let's go."

-

They collect his gunblade before they go, and Edea gives him a disappointed look.

"You may have it, but remember that trying to using Fire Cross will only hurt you, Seifer," she says. "I'm not convinced that giving you your weapon is the best idea, if it means you're going to practice at something you know you no longer have the ability to use safely."

"She means the magic, of course," Seifer says, deliberately very loudly. "My limit break uses a fire spell."

Matron looks shocked, but Seifer just grins.

"The girl detective figured it out, Edea. You don't have to hide it from her."

He shoulders his weapon and starts up the stairs.

"I'll wait for you by your airship," he yells, not bothering to say goodbye. Edea turns to Ellone, and Ellone steels herself for a sermon that never comes.

Instead, Edea smiles tiredly at her, and Ellone notices that she looks too thin now, and far less perfect. There are circles under her eyes, and her glossy black hair is slightly tousled, the ends looking ragged and in need of a good trim.

"I'm proud of you," Edea says. "You've always looked after the others, him especially."

Ellone doesn't know what to say to that because she doesn't ever remember paying special attention to Seifer. She thinks Matron might be making it up, or possibly just misremembering. But she says thank you, it's the first time Edea's ever said she was proud of her, and Ellone is genuinely grateful for the compliment.

Then she follows Seifer upstairs, passing Aviva on the way.

"Is he really leaving?" Aviva asks. "Because that would be awful."

Ellone stops, surprised. "I didn't think you liked him that much."

Aviva shudders. "We don't. He's an immature baby, he doesn't take orders and he's referred to us as the White WeeDs for about three months now. But he was our mission. Now what are we supposed to do?"

"You'll find your place," Ellone says, and gives her a hug.

When she gets to the Ragnarok, Selphie is having a face-off with Seifer as Zell hangs back, embarrassed.

"There you are!" Selphie says brightly. "Seifer was going to apologize, I think, but it's probably better if he doesn't."

"I wasn't going to apologize," Seifer says, ever-contrary.

"No," Zell mutters, "He really wasn't."

"That's good," Selphie says, "Because then you might think we were even. And we're definitely not even." She stands on her tiptoes and pokes a finger into his chest. "You owe me big time, you hear? And not just for helping Ellone rescue you."

Seifer scowls. "She isn't rescuing me. I don't need a rescue."

"That's good, because I assumed she was just calling you on your bullshit," Zell says.

Ellone shepherds them into the airship, and they fight the whole way to Esthar. Seifer tries to be standoffish, and Zell gets a bit too heated, and Selphie lets them both think that she's going to crash the Ragnarok into a mountainside.

It reminds Ellone of the orphanage, and she's content.

-

Later, she introduces him to Laguna, who becomes very emotional. Ellone can only stare, confused, as he tries to embrace Seifer and Seifer responds with shock.

"You're not Laguna Loire," he says, "No way."

Laguna ignores him. "I always knew," he declares, "That someday my little chicobo would fly the coop."

"Actually, Laguna," Kiros says, "Chocobos are flightless."

Laguna waves him off. "…And I knew that she would return when the time came for me to give her away, to a younger bird than myself."

"Oh my god," Seifer says, horrified. "You're a moron."

"Yes, Uncle Laguna, you're being dim," Ellone says. "You've got it wrong. Seifer is…" She looks across at Seifer, asking permission, but he just looks disgusted.

"I used to think you were so cool," he says, "Because you were in that movie and they said you really fought off an actual Ruby Dragon."

"He had help," Kiros says.

"Yeah, he probably needed help," Seifer says, and picks Laguna's arms off of his coat.

"Seifer is a friend," Ellone says firmly. Seifer doesn't correct her.

He should. They probably aren't real friends, at least not yet. But it's a start.