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Raphael never asked for much. He had always understood his place in the world he found himself in. Knowing that Splinter worked hard to keep his four turtles safe, and the circumstances they found themselves in made it difficult for him to do so. Even as a young child, Raph could appreciate what his father had to give up to provide, so Raph didn’t complain. He took what he was given and knew it was meant to be shared with his bale of brothers, even if he did give Mikey just a little bit of shit every once in a while.
After all, he still had his older brother duties to fulfill.
The one thing coveted and craved by the red-banded ninja, however, was solitude. It simply was a difficult commodity to come by in his family . Up until 15, when they had found the Y’Lyntian lair, they had shared a single room. It had just been the reality in their small home. Every meal, lesson, and toy was shared. There were certain times when it became suffocating. And the suffocation would often impact all four of them. Splinter had broken up many fights over the years because the boys’ emotions had expanded bigger than the spaces they existed in.
That meant when solitude was granted, it was handled with reverence.
Earlier in the week, Casey had come down to ask the family for two favors in particular. The first is able-bodied hands. The roof at the farmhouse desperately needed repair before the harsh New England winter had settled in. Casey suspected that it would take them three days at most, especially with Don’s organizational skills at the helm. This brought him to the second favor in question, for one of the four brothers to stay behind and check in on a very pregnant April.
While most of the pregnancy had gone extremely well, April was now about 4 weeks out from her due date and had begun feeling the fullness of what her body was working towards. Growing a human life cell by cell, while wonderful and very much desired by their sister, was exhausting work. Because she spent so much of her day on her feet running the shop, she was often swollen and sore by day’s end. Round ligament pain was excruciating as well, finding no relief in the belly band supports her midwives recommended. Sleep had become an elusive thing, as she found it difficult to get in a comfortable position, which unsurprisingly impacted her energy during the day.
“I’m glad to be having this baby with you, Jones, but it’s going to be a bit before we do this again.” was a phrase that April frequently was heard saying.
Needless to say, the drive up to North Hampton was one April was not keen on taking. All she desperately wanted was to put her feet up and not be caught up in the shenanigans during the repair. And really, no one was going to be arguing with her. Especially her husband.
The next best thing in Casey’s mind, then, was to have a brother assigned to sister duty.
“I know it seems silly, guys,” Casey rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, “We all know April is capable of takin’ care of herself. I just…”
“We all would feel better if April isn’t alone, Case.” Leo offered sincerely, smiling as he walked over and clasped Raph on the shoulder. “I’m sure Raphael here would be more than happy to stay behind.”
Raph, while appearing indifferent, internally felt a jolt of surprise. He certainly was very happy to stay behind. The farm was always a welcome respite, but the minute Casey asked for favor had the added promise of solitude, he was sure his ears weren’t the only ones to perk up.
Which is why he wasn’t shocked when he heard his youngest brother’s immediate protest.
“Awwww, c’mon Leo!” Mikey pouted his bottom lip to an impressive length, “How come Raph gets to kick it back? I’m long overdue for a comic reshelving day. Plus a girl's night with April sounds pretty good to me!”
Leo drew his hand from Raph’s shoulder, reaching over and ever so gently flicking their youngest square in the forehead. An unnecessary dramatic “OUCH” was heard, that Leo in all his years of leading had aptly learned to ignore.
“First off, I happen to know you just reshelved your comics with the latest Silver Sentry hardcover collection you got. Secondly, the whole point of April not going is so she doesn’t have to be bothered 24/7. If you go do ‘girls' night’, Ape is going to fall right into her hosting reflex instead of staying off her feet.” Mikey’s pout got impossibly bigger, but he remained quiet. Because he knew he couldn’t argue with that logic.
When the blue-coded sibling was satisfied that was the case, he looked back at Raphael, a knowing gleam in his eye. “Besides, Raph has been trying to finish a few modifications on his shell cycle. I don’t see a better opportunity than this one to get to work.”
Again, Raph kept it cool. While his brother wasn’t wrong, he had indeed been working on the shell cycle, it wasn’t exactly urgent. But Leo was leaving no room for argument on this.
Then it clicked, and Raph finally understood what his brother was driving at. He had been feeling a bit cagier than normal, spending some extra time with his punching bag, going out for a solo run, and even hitting the hay earlier than normal. Typical signs that Raph needed a moment to just to exist alone, ones he had been ignoring but Leo could never. Something tight loosened in his chest, understanding that he was going to get a chance to breathe with his thoughts.
Now, with Friday here and Raph completely alone in the lair, he felt a renewed gratitude for his eldest brother.
Everyone had left the night prior, even Master Splinter, which had been a bit of a surprise. Alone time rarely meant 100%, since their father would often still be in the home. But Splinter was always good about giving whichever child was home the space they needed, choosing often to meditate or sit with a cup of tea and a book in his own room.
This time though, he decided he wanted to get up to the quiet of the farm. A chance to commune with nature and its elements before its long winter sleep. The aged rat also decided he would help the efforts by preparing the meals for the family, something that would alleviate the burden from April as she remained home. It removed from her the need to even meal plan, as Splinter did, and gave Casey the list of ingredients needed to be shopped.
Truthfully, Raph wouldn’t have minded one bit if his father had stayed. That being said, he also wasn’t going to complain about his day either. Being able to blare his music as loud as he wanted while doing a rigorous workout wouldn’t have been in the cards if Pops had stayed.
When the end of the day had begun to roll around, Raph had called April, letting her know he was going to pop in for a quick check and asking her if she wanted Chinese takeout since he was ordering dinner for himself. It had been a pretty standard check-in, by all accounts. The food had already been delivered by the time he arrived, and he found April cozied up with some chicken lo-mein and a large jug of water. Raph noticed that she had seemed a bit paler than normal, but that hadn’t necessarily been an unusual occurrence in her pregnancy. But still, it warranted being asked about, to which his sister assured him that she felt just fine, just exhausted. The day had been particularly busy, and she was more than excited to stay on the couch for the next two days. Raph could respect that. So after quickly buttoning up a few things April needed to be done around the apartment, he told her goodnight and got out of her hair.
The rest of his evening had been fairly uneventful. Raph got home, ate his dinner, cleaned what little dishes were in the sink, and took a long shower. Not for the first time that day, he felt that deep warmth in his core at the care of his older brother. He had not realized how badly he had needed this.
It wasn’t until he finally sat down on the couch to catch up on a movie he had been dying to watch that his shell cell rang, and it was Casey.
Raph felt that immediate flair of annoyance.
Casey had been a little more than over-cautious about April being with child. Which was probably fair, to be honest. Casey was an only child after all, and was on the younger end of his cousins. The idea of a baby was a pretty foreign concept. His first instinct was to treat April like a glass figure, which went over exactly zero percent. April had been pretty horribly sick that first trimester, but she would NOT be treated like some damsel in distress.
It turned out that April’s temper could be set even more ablaze with the raging hormones, and Casey got the raging end of that fire exactly once before he decided he wanted to live to see his baby.
Still, though, Casey hovered in the background like some creepy stalker most of the time. He bit his tongue and let April do what she needed, but the man was sweating bullets for most of it. Then, when it came to be too much for him to bear, he would send Don in to do his dirty work.
“Is there a reason why I’m always your choice of sacrifice, Casey?” the purple turtle had finally asked one day, feeling particularly annoyed at being interrupted again by his paranoid brother-in-law.
“Yeah bro,” Casey said with complete sincerity, “Two even. The first bein’ you don’t have to sleep next to her tonigh’. The second is out of all of us she won’t yell at you.”
Case was a bonehead about a lot of things, but in this instance he was right. April never yelled at Donatello.
So given the track record of the last thirty-plus weeks, Raph probably shouldn’t have been surprised he was getting a phone call. He let out a little grumpy huff before reaching over and sliding the device open.
“Case-” Raph barely said a word in edgewise before being cut off.
“Raph, did you check on April today?” Casey asked breathlessly.
That brought Raphael up short for two reasons. One was the clear near panic his friend was in. Casey’s tell was always the quality of his breathing, where it became clipped and difficult to flow smoothly. It was rare because honestly, Casey was hardly afraid of anything. This kind of anxiety only showed itself when a loved one of Casey’s was in danger and he couldn’t bash his way through.
The second reason was that Casey knew Raph had checked in on April today. He had shot him a text saying he had done so and all was well and had gotten a thumbs up in response.
This left two scenarios, either Casey’s overprotectiveness was scrambling his brain, or he was actually asking when Raph had checked in on her.
“Yeah, man. I left yer place about an hour an’ a half ago. She was all cozied up with dinner an’ a show.”
“You’re sure? Like, totally normal?” Casey pressed a little harder, the words sounding breathy. It made Raph’s chest tighten.
“Yeah, Case. Did something happen? Because I don’t like bein’ kept in the dark if yer just panicking for no real reason.” To anyone else, it would have sounded harsh, but Raph kept his voice even and calm. In all their years of friendship, they had learned how to coexist with their strong emotions. They were cut from the same cloth, after all. And Raph knew from first-hand experience that the best way to ground Casey was to direct his brain to cut to the chase.
And it worked. The next thing he heard over the phone was a huge breath drawn in, and slowly let out. When he spoke again, Casey’s voice, while still sounding strained, the intensity of it had lessened.
A shaky reply came next. “Sorry, bro. I know I’ve been a bit of a mess this whole time.”
“A bit?”
“Ok, a lot! But April was supposed to call me ‘bout an hour ago. I started trying her after about 20 minutes and she hasn’t picked up.”
That did leave an unsettling feeling in the pit of Raphael’s stomach. She did look so tired though, so he tried to shove that feeling aside and not get ahead of himself.
“Case, man, she was pretty zonked when I saw her. It’s possible she’s just super exhausted.” Raph tried, but he was already up, grabbing the spare key to the apartment.
“Dude, my wife is the lightest sleeper.” came an incredulous squawk.
“I know, I’m already heading out the door. I’ll call you back in a bit.”
He ended the call, stuffing his cell into the pocket of his leather jacket before shrugging it on. He scooped up his helmet before grabbing the key to his cycle, heading towards the garage in a quick clip.
April was fine, he told himself, there was a reasonable explanation for all of this.
He just wished his heart would get with the program.
[ ]
The entire drive over he kept trying to keep the gnawing feeling at bay, but he found little peace as the seconds ticked. Instead of finding calm, he just ended up speeding up past each street sign.
As such, Raph was less than graceful when he came through the apartment door. He scanned the living room, in hopes of finding his sister just conked out on the couch, but it was empty. Her phone was laid neatly on the coffee table next to a takeout container. The blanket April had been curled up in was carefully pulled to the side, indicating that she had been intentional when getting up from her seat. The television was frozen, paused. Clearly, April had planned on coming back.
“April?” He called out, closing the door, “Ape, c’mon. I need you to answer.”
Raph moved with swiftness as he came in further, scanning the kitchen, then coming up to the bathroom, finding both damningly empty. Which only left the bedroom. Raphael spun on his heels, taking off in a sprint towards that direction.
He barely got to the threshold before he finally found her, lying face first and unmoving on the floor.
Raph didn’t even remember moving from his spot to her side, it was as if he just teleported, gently rolling his sister over.
“April!” the words came out forcefully, the fear spiking through every inch of his body. He had one hand against her cheek, repeatedly rapping at it to try to get some sense of wakefulness from her. When that wasn’t working, he shakily reached to feel for her pulse.
He breathed a small sigh of relief when he found it, but Raphael wasn’t encouraged either. He wasn’t as skilled as Donnie or Leo when it came to field medics, but Raph didn’t care for how weak April’s pulse felt. He might have missed it, entirely, if it hadn’t been for the fact that it was so damn fast.
His brain recognized that the two states felt like a contradiction, but he couldn’t get caught up on that now.
“Dammit, April, please. ” he tried again as he started stroking her cheeks vigorously, with both hands this time, desperate for any sign of life from his big sister.
What about the baby? Was the next thought that entered his brain. And he felt like he was going to be sick.
There weren’t two ways about it, April was going to need medical help. But he couldn’t leave her alone either. He took a deep breath, steadying himself.
“It’s going to be ok, Ape, I ain’t lettin’ anything happen to either of ya.”
Raphael fished for his shell cell, sliding it open with fury before dialing. It took maybe three rings before it was answered.
“Yo, Raph! What’s up?” The tone on the other end was so bright, and Raph felt his chest tighten.
“Angel, I need yer help.”
[ ]
What grieved Raph the most was having to leave his sister’s side.
In the period of time he waited for Angel, Raph just knelt next to April, gently holding her hand. His other hand, which had been curled into a fist, found itself repeatedly slamming over and over again into his left thigh. The pent-up feeling of being so useless was eating him alive. He couldn’t call the paramedics yet, and as much as he felt like the biggest dirtbag alive because of that fact, it couldn’t be helped. They would be expecting to have somebody there to answer the questions they would have . A 5’6 mutated turtle couldn’t be it, so he would have to wait for Angel.
The phone call with Angel had been a bit of a flurry, but effective. Raph had barely gotten the words out of his mouth before he heard the rev of an engine and her assuring him he could count on her. Angel, bless her, had arrived in record time at the apartment. If his mind hadn’t been clouded by fear, he recognized how proud he would have felt that she had managed to speed in her little Ford Focus without being clocked by an officer.
Maybe it would come later, or maybe never. The only line of thought the terrapin had was on April and the baby.
So Raph passed what little information he had, then simply walked away.
Those steps were honestly the hardest he had ever taken in his entire life.
He decidedly staked out on the rooftop, unwilling to be completely removed from the situation. There was also still the need to call the North Hampton crew. He was actually surprised that Casey hadn’t already tried calling him 30 times. That left a small warm feeling in his stomach. It was one of those small signs of trust that just spoke volumes.
Still, Raph was dreading the call. The terror of April’s current condition was creating a maelstrom of fight in his core that could be set off by one street punk giving him one wrong look. If Raph was feeling that, being here on the ground and knowing April was getting the help she ultimately needed, that feeling would only be 100-fold in Casey. Hours away from his wife and baby who may be dying needed medical attention and couldn’t get to them fast enough? Mixing the two of them in a conversation together at this moment was not going to go well at
all
.
So Raph decided to call Donnie instead.
Parsing the information to his twin was ideal because his brother could throw himself into medic mode and save his anxiety for later. Although the layer of anxiety could still be heard in his voice, Donnie was not as emotionally volatile as Raph, which had its own calming effect.
As Raph answered Don’s questions, he could hear some light shuffling in the background. A door being opened, additional sound evidence of someone else there with him. Raph could see in his mind’s eye exactly what was happening. His purple brother making eye contact with Leo and then making a quiet exit to another room so they could get the full picture without being interrupted.
Despite himself, Raph had a small smile break out. This meant Mikey was left to field a nutbag Casey and while the situation sucked major ass, that would still be funny later.
At least, he hoped it would.
“Leo thinks what would be best is to have Dad and I bring Casey home and he and Mike will keep working the roof. I’ll come back up to help after we get things settled.” There was more shuffling in the background as Donnie spoke, to what Raph assumed was Leo moving out of the room to go speak to the others. That assumption was confirmed when Raph began to hear a ruckus of noise, muted through the closed door and what the phone could pick up. It made his gut coil more than it already was.
But, he couldn’t do anything about that now. There was a plan in place, and it was the best they had. Raph let out a sigh. It wasn’t exactly one of relief, but he definitely felt a little less pressure in his chest. “Alrigh’ bro. I can get behind that.”
“It’s stupid to ask if you’re ok, because I know you’re not. And the best help I can afford is that I’ll be there as quickly as I can. But Raphie?”
“Yeah, Don?”
Don’s voice was soft and sincere as it came through. “You made all the right calls, and I know it doesn’t feel like it to you, but you did protect April and the baby.”
Well, shit. That did it. Tears began to prick the corner of his eyes, and he had to take a sharp inhale in order to keep them captive. It took a few beats before he could respond again, and it came out rough.
“Thanks, Don. I… I appreciate it.”
“Do you want me to have Mike and Leo call you back and keep you company while you wait?”
Raph hummed a bit, a little sound of appreciation. “Naw, thanks bro . I’m sure Angel won’t be goin’ anywhere and the two of us can have a stressed-out bitch fest to fill the time.”
That got a little laugh out of his brother.
[ ]
Anemia. It turned out to be fucking anemia.
April ended up being admitted to the hospital for three days, where the midwives and OBGYNs when around and around doing a battery of testing the first 24 hours, both on her and around-the-clock stress testing for the baby. Then they spent some time debating back and forth if they would need to induce her. Her red blood cells and hemoglobin were low enough that she was definitely anemic, but not low enough that she had quite entered what they would consider severe just yet.
April (once she had come around) had described that she had simply been heading to the bedroom to get her heating pad. She felt mildly dizzy when she had originally stood up, and progressively gotten worse on the way there. She had been having headaches on and off all week, which again, was on par for anemia.
Once a bigger picture was established, the medical staff concluded that they would continue to monitor both April and the baby for extra time before making a final decision.
In the end, April was sent home with instructions for bed rest and a vitamin supplement regime for the rest of her pregnancy.
Most importantly, both April and the baby were going to be ok.
The collective sigh of relief in the whole family at the news was resounding.
“Oh man,” Mikey piped up, a smile on his face as he lay boneless against the couch, “Casey was bad before, can you imagine how he’s going to be now?”
“I think he’s earned it, Mike.” Leo earnestly replied. “I think I’m going to join him.”
“Pfffft, mother hen.” Mikey shot back.
Despite the quip, everyone knew none of them were going to be much better.
[ ]
It was a week after the scare that Raph swung by the apartment again. He walked in much more relaxed as compared to before, a large takeout container in his hands. Once again found April curled up in her spot on the couch. She smiled big as he entered.
Raph chuffed warmly. “Some bedrest this is. Didn’t know ye’re such a rebel.”
That earned an eye roll. “C’mon Raph, you really expect me to be horizontal this whole time?”
“Nah. If you were Mike, maybe. Hell, even Leo could probably meditate the time away. But you? Surprised ya haven’t torn the walls apart yet.”
That pulled a laugh out of his sister. “Oh trust me, I’ve been driving poor Casey crazy today. I can’t nest so it’s up to him. He was more than happy to jet off to the hockey rink tonight. So you better watch out, mister, if you’re planning on sticking around.” As she spoke, April reached for her water bottle, taking a swig. When she brought the bottle away, she cocked her head ever so slightly to the side. “What have you got there? Whatever it is smells divine.”
Raph ever so slightly rubbed the top of the styrofoam container with his thumbs, feeling a bit of embarrassment kissing his cheeks. He firmly kept his vision downward as he moved towards his sister. “Well, once Casey got wind that I was swinging by to check on ya, he asked if I could snag some dinner for ya since he wasn’t sure how long he would be.” He sat on the couch, handing the container to her.
April, with an every curious look and a smirk to match, took the offered container and popped it open.
“Beef and broccoli?” She looked up at him, a knowing smile on her face.
Raph flushed even more. “Yeah, well, I might have asked Donnie to tell me a little more of what anemia is. And since yer iron levels are the problem, I thought I would help with food that doesn’t suck to eat.”
A little sup sound came from April, and Raph, horrified, snapped up to look at her. “Aw geez, April, that’s your about to cry sound. Should I have gotten yer usual?”
His sister huffed a little laugh, wiping at her face. She smiled as the palm of her hand scrubbed past and tucked her loose hair behind her ear.
“No, you did everything right, little brother.”
Those words struck Raphael with a warmth he couldn’t quite describe. As he nestled down with April to stream some Golden Girls , the feeling stayed with him. Because April was alright. Her baby was alright.
And he could finally relax.