Chapter Text
Tim sits anxiously on Danny’s couch, passively listening to the shower running in the background. It’s the perfect time to settle himself and to overcome the shock he got not even an hour before, even though it should not get to him in this intensity; he should be used to this, people die in front of him all the time.
He still has dried blood on his hands and arms, and all over his shirt, and he thinks his ear and the left side of his face too - he must make quite a picture… but he doesn’t dare wash it off at the sink. It is proof that he hadn’t imagined Danny falling to the ground, his still, non-beating heart, his closed eyes-
Deep Breath. Report.
Danny is fine. He is in the shower. He walked Tim all the way to Danny’s apartment. He got Tim to the couch and got him to sit down.
Tim tries to remember if they could have been caught on camera; his phone would have already blown up with messages from Oracle and his family, should that be the case.
Tim can hear the spray of water through the walls. Danny is just a few feet away from him. Danny got shot. He didn’t die. He is just fine, walked being shot off like it was nothing.
Could there be a recording of the alley? He still sees it happening in his mind, the moment replaying over and over, like a broken record- them walking, joking, then stopping, Danny dropping his hand with a gently squeeze, Tim being reluctant, not wanting to let go (it was a dark alley in Gotham, honestly, what was Danny thinking), Danny only walking two steps away, and then- the sound of the shot- Tim automatically ducking behind the corner, seeking cover, his training kicking in- his heart pounding in his ears- Tim watching Danny fall backwards, Tim only hesitating long enough to scan the shadows for the threat, finding the weapon on the ground, nobody near it- finally stepping closer to Danny- looking down with a sense of doom, falling to his knees, already knowing but having to check- there could still be a chance-
Tim blinks.
Tim can get over this. He is fine. Danny got shot. He was dead, and Tim checked his pulse-
Stop.
Deep breath.
Alright. Tim is going to behave real suave about all of this. The door is going to open in a few moments and Tim is going to sit here, patiently waiting for answers- he can do that. Danny could be dead, but he isn’t.
In the mean time he can- cameras. He’s going to check any possible CCTV in that area for footage. He doesn’t want anyone questioning them before he has the full picture. Tim gets out his phone and opens the mobile access to his Nest, and combs through any recordings of their route he could find and- he sits up.
This is strange. They were on camera. On more than a few. But, every single one that shows them is broken. No, not really broken. The screen flickers, as if it is hit with a jam signal, warping and distorting the footage, from the moment they enter the screen until they leave it. On everyone of them. He mentally traces their rout back to the alley and- there!
He has found the first clear footage of them; even from the different perspective, he knows that this will have a clean shot of Danny falling. Tim watches themselves walking, stopping, Danny walking into the mouth of the ally, then freezing up, Tim jumping to the side, Danny falling and just lying there- exactly like he remembers, like a fever dream. Tim forces himself to continue; he sees Past-Tim unfreezing himself, looking around the corner, then rushing to Danny’s side, dropping to his knees, frantically checking Danny all over- holding his face- and then-
flickering.
Tim can’t make anything out in the moving colorful specks on the screen- until a few moments later, the screen clears; the alley empty again.
He hits the replay button and watches the few minutes again. When the faulty footage starts this time, Tim hits pause. It doesn’t require much thought for him to delete the few minutes and to loop the missing moment for the time being. As of right now, no digital proof of Danny’s death exists anymore. No save copy. No possible duplicate on his server to find, should anybody from his family find their way into his system.
Tim finally feels that he’s done something productive tonight and logs out of his Nest, then closes his phone and listens - something changed. No background noise- oh, the shower stopped running. Only alive people can turn off a shower.
The bathroom door opens and some steam reaches into the hallway. Danny appears in loose pants and a towel around his shoulders, using it to rub it all over his wet hair with one hand- he must have hurried the drying process, for his hair to still being wet enough to have to do that-
"Sorry, I forgot, you might want a change of clo-"
Tim hovers a hand over Danny’s chest, stopping him mid sentence. "You-", Tim wonders how he got from sitting on the couch to standing in front of Danny this fast, but he doesn’t complain; he also doesn’t know how all he can see is clear skin- no bullet wound- his vision doubles for a second, his current view overlapping with the growing red stain on Danny’s lying form in the dark- "How do you- I saw you-!", Tim doesn’t want his voice to have a desperate pitch, but- he holds his hand up, looking at the blood and back to Danny, and chokes, "You are fine."
A clean hand covers his blood-stained one, the contrast another shock to his system.
Danny takes their combined hands and put them on his chest, evidently not caring that he only just got out of the shower and already got himself filthy again, "I am fine. You are fine. I am so sorry."
Ba-dump.
Ba-dump.
Tim can feel Danny’s heartbeat. "You are fine."
Danny nods, smiling sadly. "Yes."
Tim nods as well. "Of course. You are fine. I am fine. We are all fine." What is his life? Tim moves their hands a few inches to the right. "You got shot, right here. Your heart stopped beating. This," he gestures at his hands and his face, "is blood from your bullet wound." He doesn’t fraise it as a question, but he wants an answer- please don’t lie- don’t lie to me-
"Yes."
And Tim-
Tim can breathe- "I want answers."
"Alright."
"Tomorrow." Tim squeezes Danny’s hand, then shakes his head, remembering the time, "Today. I don’t care. I will stay the night."
"Anything you want."
"I’ll clean up now", it comes out like a threat, but Danny just tilts his head and waits, like a puppy, how can he be so adorable, "And I swear, if you so much as try to die on me while I’m sleeping, I will kill you myself."
"Noted." Danny raises Tims other hand, so that Tim can still feel his heart with the other, and kisses his knuckles. Tim can only stare. "Do you wand me to wear-
"No." Tim’s eyes blaze with a sudden fire. "No shirt for you. I am going to sleep with my ear on your chest and no fabric in the universe will hinder me from hearing you."
"Yes, sir!"
-
Tim wakes up with a hand drifting through his hair. He hums and presses his face against a warm chest, hears a strong rhythmic beat that (like a lullaby) invites him to relax further. His braincells reboot all at once, but he doesn’t dare move. He realizes, that his whole body is pressed against Danny - Tim clings to Danny’s chest and his legs keep Danny"s in place in a firm grip; he holds Danny in his sleep like Dick gives out hugs - with no chance of escape. Danny must feel claustrophobic, had they even moved at all in the last few hours? Did they close the blinds before they got to sleep? Everything feels so soft… from the warm light, to the thin blanket pooled down at their waists…
There is an arm across his lower back and a hand in his hair and it is warm and comfortable and perfekt, and Tim doesn’t want to move ever again.
Tim swears he hears Danny purr.
Nails scratch softly across his scalp, and Tim absolutely melts…
He almost drifts away again when-
"I promised you answers," Danny whispers into the silence, "I had my first accident when I was fourteen. My parents are scientists and not the biggest on lab safety; my sister and I knew the basics, but at the time there was no prove of anything they tried to achieve, so we didn’t take them seriously. They have built this portal to another dimension in our basement," Danny softly chuckles, his stomach contracting, and Tim moves with it; the scratches stop," but they made a mistake in their design and it didn’t work. Turned out, they’d put the On/Off switch on the inside of the damn thing. You can guess how I know that."
Tim’s breath hitches, "It activated with you still inside it?"
"Yeah… apparently, when you get hit with a voltage somewhere up in the high thousands, one tends to die."
"But you didn’t-", Tim states, theories and ideas already bouncing around, "where would that portal have led? Which dimension?"
The hand in his hair starts moving again. As if granting him a reward (Tim, without any shame, completely lost in the moment, revels in it), "The Infinity Realms. At least we now know that it has an official title. At the Time, my parents called it: the Ghost Zone."
Tim blinks. "Pretty straight forward. You mean as in the land of the dead? Like Hell?"
"Technically , Hell is only a little corner there; far too hot and firey if you ask me." Tim more feels, than hears Danny take a deep breath, obviously bracing himself on the next part, "So there I was, the electricity killed me, simultaneously giving the portal the final ingredient to open - like you said, it is the Land of the Dead; there is always a prize to pay - and thus an endless cycle began: The energy source from the Infinity Realms declaring me one of their own and keeping me dead, but the electricity reviving or jump-starting me, however you want to call it, again and again and again…"
Tim listens attentively. Every word engraved in his brain. Tim logically knew that Danny has survived the ordeal, but he can’t help but shudder. It must have been awful. Shocked to death? Shocked at all? From the tone of voice, Danny hasn’t displayed any resentment towards his family - so he doesn’t blame them? But they are the reason he got hurt? Have they at least been there in the aftermath? Or had he been all alone? Fourteen… Jason had been fifteen, when he died… but fourteen! Tim swallows the questions. Tim can wait.
Danny continues, oblivious to Tim’s thought process, "My whole existence was rewritten; I found myself on a tight rope, perfectly balancing being alive and being dead", Danny explains, "Got a whole set of powers though, alter ego all inclusive- had an intense gig a couple of years back, still active today."
Danny then went silent, letting the information sink in.
Tim makes himself move at last. He untangles their legs and sits up - it was a challenge, with the one arm that was trapped under Danny for who knows how long, being fast asleep. Tim looks down at Danny, who let Tim go und now lies slightly curved towards him, as if he tried to chase Tim’s retreating body but could stop at the last second. The arm that had been places on his back, now rests on Tims thigh; the hand that had scratched Tims head into bliss, now lies limb next to Danny’s head on the pillow. His whole being practically screamed defenseless at Tim. Danny felt safe with Tim. Danny must feel safe enough, to tell Tim some hurtful, existentially destructive information; and he trusts Tim to keep that knowledge safe and sound. Tim could hurt him right now. Emotionally and physically.
And Danny trusts him all the same.
Or Danny has such deep confidence that Tim cannot hurt him, that he doesn’t see the need to shield himself.
No matter, Tim feels charged with emotion he cannot identify.
"Any urgent questions, before I can offer you breakfast?"
Tim nods, has to clear his throat before speaking, because his throat is very dry all of the sudden, and the first thing that tumbles out of his mouth is,
"Do you have urges to kill people?" Alright, not really what he wanted to ask first.
This earns him an amused raised eyebrow. "Not that I am aware of"
Tim shoulders on, "You don’t have to sacrifice anything or anyone for your survival?"
"No, no weekly rituals for me"
Tim nods resolutely, but there is the most important thing-
"And nothing can kill you, because you can’t die, because you’re already dead."
Danny gives a lazy, half-hearted salute, "You got it"
…
Tim gets goosebumps everywhere, "Oh God, you are perfect"
-
Tim watches the scenery outside the car window. A glance in the rear-view mirror, shows him the smaller getting skyline of Gotham. Outside, beside a road, they pass a bis sign with a giant crossed-out "Gotham City" written on it. So they are officially outside Gotham now; Tim can feel the excitement in his chest rise a bit.
He turns his head to look over to Danny sitting in the driver’s seat, driving one-handed. His other hand hangs loosely from the armrest, lying in wait for when Danny needed to shift gears- every time his arm extended, Tim finds himself drawn to the bulking biceps, and by Danny’s sly smile - he knew exactly what he was doing. Tim surely doesn’t call him out on it. Also, he can admire a man that confidently drives a manual car. Probably got something to do with Tims’s appreciation for competence.
The day until now had been full of answers and revelations, and Tim’s thoughts are completely at ease. It was a funny feeling, he only rarely got to experience; just existing, not wondering about the next lie, the next test, the next mystery… The shock from the alley is long gone, now replaced with curiosity and a slight restlessness for the coming night.
After asking about the green acidic glow Danny’s eyes had given of, Danny only mentioned, that "his other form glows all over so that was normal".
Show me, had been Tim’s first instinct to ask. Danny had already showed him much more Tim could have done, had their places been reversed. So he swallowed down his urge to know as an old time pain stroke him- of someone telling him, he was too much, wanted too much, he should scale his intensity back, at least; to let them breath-
And Tim knew (even after only a few hours together) that Danny is not the kind to dangle the truth in front of his face and then take it away because he was annoyed or something like that. But Tim also knew that everyone had a line that shouldn’t be crossed and perhaps Danny’s was at Show instead of Tell-
But Danny had just-
-reached out und took Tim’s hand in his over breakfast, his gaze almost burning and had simply said, "You wanna see? It’s better in the dark though." And the wink-
Needless to say, that they planned the trip to just "anywhere outside of Gotham" for the same night. Thank god it was the weekend. And because of the Gala the night before, Tim had free time in his day and night life; his family already covering his parts of the city - the price for attending. Normally Tim would not really know what to do with his free time, but today he was more than thankful to not have to worry about any questions about his absence.
But Tim wouldn’t be Tim, if he didn’t have a plan within a plan. Asking Danny to drive by his home before they started their nightly getaway for a change of clothes hadn’t even been a lie.
-
"Alright, I think this is it." Danny grins at Tim. "What do you think?"
Tim raises an eyebrow, as if he is far from impressed, "You mean, what I think about the small clearing in the middle of nowhere, in some part of woods even I, as a Gothamite, have lost my orientation in, with-", he glances at his phone, "-absolutely no signal whatsoever, with a pond deep enough to drown me in, and no single soul around to hear me scream, at night in the dark if it weren"t for our flashlights?"
Danny’s grin sharpens, "Yes."
"I like it.", Tim fiddles with his flashlight, and turns it off; he doesn’t want Danny to think he was unsure or hesitating; he isn’t about to step down now. "If you wanted to kill me, you would have done it already."
"It should be hypocritical, but a non-beating heart doesn’t really do it for me." Danny turns of his own flashlight, eliminated the last source of light and plunging them into darkness, "So you can count me in for team Keeping-you-Alive… and even if your time comes, I will be exclusively responsible for keeping you by my side. After."
Tim feels a shiver run down his spine, the weird combination of ominous comfort/threat lets his hair stand up. Tim’s eyes still have to get used to the sudden darkness. Instead of the city, where the smog hinders the view to the night sky, out here in the middle of the woods the distant stars will be the only thing spending light.
"I mean- if you want me to."
Tim feels giddy. "If I want you to?" Tim blindly reaches out until he can find Danny’s chest and slowly moves his hand up to his face, then takes a step closer, until he feels Danny’s breath on his cheek, to whisper,
"If your death shall not part us, what makes you think I want mine to be the one responsible?"
Danny’s hand is in Tim’s hair faster than he can blink, forcing his head back, the strain of the sudden stretch making Tim keen-
Danny noses at his neck, his breath tickling the skin under his ear, "You’ll be the death of me", he tucks Tim close, so that Tim now looks over his shoulder, "Close your eyes."
Tim follows the soft command without hesitation; Danny’s hold on him was so gentle and calm, he feels transported back to just this morning, drowning in warm colors and the feeling of Want as not something unobtainable but instead right within his grasp…
There is a flash of light he feels blinded from, even though his eyes are closed, but he doesn’t dare open them yet. If he hadn’t been warned beforehand, he would have thought some paparazzi found them and forgot to turn off their flash light.
"Alright," Danny whispers, still holding Tim, "you can look now."
The first thing Tim sees when he opens his eyes is something purely white; tucked in Danny’s neck like that, it shouldn’t be possible- is that his hair?! Tim stares at the flowing strands.
He wants to savor this moment. This is the first time he will see Danny in this form and he cannot decide what he wants to look at first. His hair in full? Was everything white? Will Danny be see-through? His eyes- how strong will those eyes glow? Has his skin changed, when his hair did?
Tim places a soft kiss on the underside of Danny’s chin, grinning when he sees Danny’s hair pulse brighter for a second. Tim longs for his camera but settles to make screenshots with his mind. He places his hands on Danny‘s shoulders, carefully pushing him away and Danny lets him - a total opposite to his hug before. He just… gently goes with the flow. And Tim can‘t help but stare.
Danny appears to be the same age as before, but with a darker skin tone - or did it just appear darker, because of the bright hair? He doesn’t wear a mask, so his eyes are free for Tim to look at, shining bright green through the darkness.
A few strands of hair gently float in front of his face, making Danny blow a puff of air out of his mouth to move them out of the way again. Now that Tim notices, he can’t unsee it. There is something otherworldly about Danny’s appearance; and he doesn’t mean the color change, or the glowing. It feels as if Danny doesn’t belong here; as if someone photoshopped Danny into a photograph and now the light doesn’t hit him just right anymore-
Tim swears that there is no breeze around him - no sound from moving leaves reach his ears. Would he feel that mysterious wind, if he ran his fingers through Danny’s hair? Or would he just feel moving strands over his skin, and the breeze only affects Danny?
His eyes trail down Danny’s body, to this time consciously look over Danny’s hero costume, when a disquieting feeling spreads.
Is that- is that all?
Danny’s voice echoes in his mind. Phrases like lab accident- my parents weren’t the biggest on lab safety- inside of the portal- one tends to die- pop up, and don’t stay silent.
Danny now wears a hazmat suit. The material is black all over, but somehow still shines? The boots and gloves are white, as well as the design of the belt?
But that is it? Nothing else?
Tim felt horror bloom in his chest. He hadn’t thought- about the implications. If that is everything he wore, when he died that day, does that mean, that at every fight, against every ghost Danny has ever met, Danny only ever wore a hazmat suit?!
He barely notices that Danny begins to frown in his growing panic; the light in his form flickers. He takes a step back (in the air, Danny walks on air, how is that even-) evidently unsure of himself, "Is it too much?"
Tim can’t look away. His mind visualizing scenarios of what could happen, if Danny even trips- jeans can protect knees better than that thing! He suddenly hates that suit with every fiber of his being. This is unacceptable!
Danny suddenly floats in front of him, right in his face- "Hey woah! What is happening! Tim?!", Danny sounds and looks anxious - which is weird, because Tim swears he has a bombastic poker face and he hasn’t let his emotions slip on his face.
But never mind that.
"What on earth is that!?" Tim points at the suit, "Where is the padding? The armor? You told me, that you get shot at a lot; why aren"t you wearing anything for your protection then?!" A sudden realization hits him. "Can you not change it? Is this the outfit you got stuck with from your accident?! There has to be a way to modify it!"
Danny’s face takes on a slightly greenish hue—wait, does he feel sick? No, that’s not it. Hold on—is Danny... blushing?! Midair, he quickly rights himself and buries his face in his hands. The sight is almost absurd: a grown man with muscles Tim can only dream of (genetics really screwed him over in that department), someone strong enough to lift him effortlessly without breaking a sweat. And unlike Kon, Danny even looks the part—he wouldn’t even need his powers to pull it off! Yet here he is, hiding his face... because Tim doesn’t want him to get hurt?!
Tim takes a step closer; now that Danny floats in the air, he has to look up a lot more, "Please let me modify it! I- I’ll, I’ll beg!"
Danny lets his hands sink down, his cheeks still a bit green, and looks down at him, a dumfounded expression on his face. "Thank the ancients, I thought you were afraid of me."
"Afraid of you?! Come-", Tim asks aghast, he reaches up to grip Danny’s belt and starts pulling him down, (no Tim, bad Tim, don’t think about how those thighs could crush you!),"come down here! What are you doing up there anyway?!"
Danny chuckles relieved and goes with the tug with no resistance. On eye level again, Tim lets go and Danny, still smiling wide, floats in a loose circle around him. Tim is reminded of being underwater, a predator playfully circling its prey.
Once he is again in front of Tim, Danny takes Tim’s hands in both of his, mustering him from head to toe, "For a second there, you got the heebie-jeebies. What was I supposed to think?!"
Tim snorts but clutches back, "Yeah, the heebie-jeebies of knowing what inappropriate equipment can do to you!" He takes one hand back and touches the material of the suit, pinching it between his fingers, "This is nothing! Are you wearing anything under this?!"
Danny ducks his head, "I mean, a T-shirt and I think, some pants?", he shrugs, "I honestly forget about it sometimes. But it should be what I wore that day. But anything you can come up with is worth wearing - perhaps I’ll even get some style then."
"Oh, you’ll not just get style, you’ll get the best from the market! I’ll design it personally!" Tim notices how Danny’s hair pulses light again. He really does seem otherworldly, like a fairy. A big, muscly, scary fairy, who could sit on Tim, and he would say please and thank you.
But Tim stops when he sees Danny’s gaze - again trusting and captivated, as if Tim could do no wrong and Tim just can’t. This is not how this works.
"I had a plan, you know," Tim turns around and works on opening the buttons on his shirt, "I’ve already made a decision this morning, but then I didn’t know how to bring it up, and you were so … honest." Tim looks over his shoulder and sees Danny observing Tim taking of his shirt and trousers, with curious and open eyes, "Then you said, you wanted to show me, but it is best in the dark, and I thought, Hey, what a wonderful idea, me too! but then I realized that I didn’t tell you anything at all about me - not really. I planned to surprise you, but it just got worse when you told me you don’t use your powers in Gotham because of Batman?"
Tim, finally done with changing into his own suit, that he had already been wearing in secret, after getting it from his apartment, turns around, and sees as Danny freezes in mid air.
But Tim doesn’t stop - he is on a roll. Danny put his trust in Tim. So he will do the same. He reaches down, and with a difficult hand motion, brings forth his collapsible staff. Danny’s eyes widen. With another, it extends to its full length. His trusted bo staff gives off an ethereal gleam from the reflection of Danny’s glowing form. Tim finds it oddly comforting.
"Here." Tim holds his staff out for Danny to take, slowly getting nervous, wondering if he is clear enough in his intentions.
Danny still stares. At Tim. At the staff. At Tim’s Red Robin logo on his chest. But he doesn’t take the staff. He also isn’t flying off so Tim still hopes he hasn’t screwed up too much.
"-ight?"
Tim blinks, hands and staff still in position, "What?"
Danny reverently reaches out, but doesn’t touch Tim’s staff directly, "You’re a Knight!"
"Pff, no, I’m Red Robin-"
"No, you’re a Gotham Knight! How much more perfect do you wanna be?!"