Chapter Text
herstory of magic
wormy: halloween just 2 days away
my bestie sev: We are in the middle of a class right now
my bestie sev: Get off your phone
wormy: funny, you criticise texting in class yet here you are texting in class
wormy: hypocrite
lily: Being mean
wormy: i’ll just kill myself then
prongs: lily my petal he was just joking
free bleeding: lily your WHAT
prongs: just trying something out
prongs: i can see it didn’t land
moony: You guys need to focus Binns is a literal ghost and even he is starting to catch on that no one is paying attention
moony: Or at least get better at hiding your phones
free bleeding: like you?
moony: Like me
free bleeding: maybe if the class was actually interesting i would pay attention
moony: Just because your family tree takes up half the content in this class does not mean it’s boring
free bleeding: moony if you wanted to come meet the family all you have to do is ask
free bleeding: i’ll introduce you guys at christmas
Regulus Black: No you won’t
prongs: no you won’t
free bleeding: no i won’t
free bleeding: if i have to listen to one more minute of this goblin uprising i’m gonna lose it
free bleeding: swear we have studied this every year since 1st year
moony: They’ve all been different uprisings
free bleeding: FR????
free bleeding: fuck why don’t we just give them what they want
Regulus Black: Just felt every single one of our ancestors turn in their graves
free bleeding: you know i love to make them dance
free bleeding: honestly though double period of history of magic should be classed as torture
prongs: i think you mean HERstory of magic
prongs: #feminist
marls: AMEN
my bestie sev: You should’ve lost far more than 50 points for turning that in as an essay
prongs: SABOTAGE
wormy: he’s right i can’t believe i cried over that essay for a full week and somehow we both got the same grade
prongs: BETRAYAL
prongs: also fuck you i made great points??
moony: Wasn’t actually aware you wrote a real essay about it
moony: I thought you just forgot about it and panicked
free bleeding: he had multiple sources bro
dork changed free bleeding’s name to padfoot
dork: random guy next to me saw that message and gave me the weirdest look >:(
padfoot: fuck him??
prongs: oh thank god the joke was getting old
padfoot changed padfoot’s name to free bleeding
free bleeding: fuck you mr feminist
free bleeding: this isn’t a joke to me
free bleeding: i support women’s rights
free bleeding: and wrongs @thechadmary
thechadmary: why are you tagging me bitch
lily: It is a little alarming every time I get a message from free bleeding tbh
prongs changed free bleeding’s name to padfoot
marauders
padfoot: down astronomical bro
prongs: FUCK YOU
herstory of magic:
wormy: FINALLY FREE
wormy: worst experience of my life
moony: I guarantee that’s not true
wormy: anyways back to halloween planning
my bestie sev: We were planning something?
prongs: keep up this attitude and you’re not invited
lily: Being mean
prongs: sorry sev
prongs: you can be the guest of honour if you’d like?
wormy: halloween party 2nite in the gryffindor common room
moony: Stop typing like that
moony: Also it’s a Tuesday night we cannot have a party in the middle of the week
wormy: you should be head boy or smth remus
moony: maybe if our actual head boy was any good at his job i wouldn’t need to step up
prongs: Also it’s a Tuesday night we cannot have a party in the middle of the week
prongs: the party will be friday night
lily: When was this decided?
wormy: right now
padfoot: IM SO DOWN
padfoot: moony do you want to do a couples costume with me
moony: Not particularly
padfoot: im thinking edward and bella
wormy: not jacob and bella?
marls: why would they do that jacob and bella dont get together?
prongs: peters stupid
padfoot: i have a thing for werewolves
moony: No reason
wormy: sirius is team jacob
lily: No way Sirius is team Jacob that is such a lie
padfoot: i can see the appeal
marauders
moony: You guys are awful at hiding this
prongs: YOU LITERALLY ALWAYS JUST REPLY NO REASON YOURE NOT HELPING
prongs: YOU SEEM SO MUCH MORE SUSPICIOUS
herstory of magic
padfoot: also PLEASEEE let me be in charge of the music i promise i won’t disappoint
moony: Don’t let him he’ll just play Bowie all night
padfoot: you love bowie
dork: i thought bowie was dead why not play something more modern
padfoot: BOWIES DEAD?????
padfoot: SINCE WHEN
moony: At least 7 years ago
padfoot: WHAT
moony: All of you need to get better at keeping up with the news
marauders
prongs: padfoot and moony are you actually doing a couples costume or should we do all do smth together
padfoot: yeah we are sorry
moony: No we aren’t
padfoot: oh
padfoot: our first fight </3
wormy: not even remotely true
dti code sharers
marls: are we doing a group costume this year
lily: YES
lily: Victoria’s secret angels?
thechadmary: trying to impress someone?
lily: I’ll kill you Mary Macdonald
thechadmary: i know his sense of humour that might also impress him
lily: So everyone’s good with being VS angels?
my bestie sev: I will not be doing that
lily: Ah I forgot about you
my bestie sev: Wow you really are trying to impress him
lily: SHUT UP
lily: WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS
dork: about what? :)
thechadmary: her crush on james
lily left the chat
thechadmary added lily
thechadmary: it’s been 7 years lily if it was that easy to escape us sev would’ve done it ages ago
marls: and none of the rest of us would have?
thechadmary: no bc then you wouldn’t have had a wonderful wingwoman to help you get your beautiful girlfriend
marls: yeah you can be best man or whatever
lily: Mary’s getting a bit of a monopoly on being best man and maid of honour
dork: awww i’ve always wanted to be a maid of honour for someone lily you were my only chance :(((
lily: She’s been my maid of honour since second year
thechadmary: yeah for your wedding with james
lily: Great news Dorcas the maid of honour spot just opened up!
thechadmary: NOOOOOOOOOO
marls: ARE WE DOING A GROUP COSTUME OR NOT
marls: AND WHAT ARE WE DOING
dork: minions and sev is gru
my bestie sev: YES
lily: YES
marls: YES
thechadmary: YES
dork: you guys would die without me
marauders
moony: I’m not going as a werewolf
moony: I would like one day off
wormy: ive been putting my costume together for months
wormy: im being patrick bateman
prongs: ur gonna look so hot
wormy: thank you james
wormy: lets sleep together
prongs: of course my love
prongs: padfoot moony get out the dorm
moony: I’m studying
padfoot: let me join?
prongs: we’ll pick this up later kittens
prongs: im going as vector from despicable me btw
prongs: i saw this perfect bright orange tracksuit in the cancer research last time i was in hogsmeade
prongs: snatched it up before remus could get it it was totally his style
moony: Fuck You
padfoot: remus we should go as mavis and johnny
padfoot: from hotel transylvania
moony: You have to be Mavis
padfoot: i was planning on it
prongs: no group costume this year
prongs: we’re losing our bond
moony: many would call it maturing
prongs: fuck them
herstory of magic
marls: just had to walk past mcgonagall with SIX BOTTLES of vodka in my tote bag
wormy: we’re fucked
marls: i think shes following me
marls: FUCK she defo is
lily: Tell her it would be a stupid idea to throw a party when both the head boy and girl live with you
prongs: tell her its water bottles from quidditch practice
padfoot: yes our famous glass water bottles that have smirnoff branding
moony: The head boy is fucking stupid she’s gonna know he organised it
prongs: fuck you
prongs: youre fucking stupid
padfoot: hes fucking serious actually
moony removed padfoot
marls: almost at the tower if i can get away with this one of these bottles is mine alone
thechadmary: ive seen the way you drink two of those are bound to be yours alone anyways
marls: FUCK she just called my name
marls: swung too hard around the corner i sounded like a wedding cheers
dork: OMW
dork: I WILL GET YOU OUT OF THIS
prongs: this party is in fucking shambles
herstory of magic
dork: i lied like a beautiful rug we have escaped with the voddy
wormy: OUR HERO
my bestie sev: Can me and Regulus head round soon to start getting ready
prongs: cant do it in your own dorm?
lily: Being mean
prongs: sorry sev
prongs: we have stellas in the boys dorm if you want any
my bestie sev: Oh I’m actually doing a group costume with the girls so I’m getting reading with them
prongs: awww have fun
marauders
prongs: WE SHOULDVE DONE A GROUP COSTUME
prongs: FUCK FUCK FUCK
padfoot: ADD ME BACK
padfoot: WHATS GOING ON
herstory of magic
moony: Regulus you can come and get ready with us
Regulus Black: I need to get some makeup done so I’ll probably get ready with the girls
Regulus Black: Dorcas said it was okay
dork: of course
lily: Of course
prongs: are we not likeable????
Regulus Black: Not really
Regulus Black: But it"s mainly the makeup thing
moony: FhufoAOnsa
marls: ??
wormy: hold on sirius and remus are fighting over a phone
moony: I RESENT THE IDEA THAT I COULDNT DO YOUR MAKEUP
moony: WHAT ARE TOU GOING AS
Regulus Black: The Joker
moony: Oh
moony: Have you ever told a joke in your life?
Regulus Black: I’ll get ready with the girls
Regulus Black: Remus kill Sirius to get your phone back
moony: WHAT
wormy: james read that out and i think remus took the suggestion to heart
wormy: they’re fighting over his phone VERY violently
wormy: remus is somehow winning you will all be pleased to know
lily: He’s twice as tall as Sirius I would be more shocked if he was losing
lily: He can just hold the phone up and out of reach
wormy: that is his strategy actually
moony: Regulus do not come up here save yourself while you can
herstory of magic
my bestie sev: We’re here let us up
thechadmary: omw
herstory of magic
wormy: im all dolled up am gonna go down to the kitchen and beg for snacks
wormy: and then we can get this party started
marauders
prongs: tell me snape isnt dressed as gru
padfoot: #soulmates
padfoot: or actually just like destined to be enemies
wormy: assigned haters at birth
dti code sharers
lily: Where did Marlene go?
dork: shes throwing up
lily: Okay well we’re doing shots so tell her to come back
dork: o7
herstory of magic
moony added padfoot
prongs: did you steal his phone when you were sucking face with him?
prongs: just to add yourself back to the chat
padfoot: well i wasnt gonna suck face with someone else to steal their phone
herstory of magic
moony: STOP SAYING SUCKING FACE
herstory of magic
thechadmary: marls just finished her first bottle of vodka by herself
thechadmary: i can tell bc she thinks shes doing a perfect impersonation of harry styles and shes actually just not
herstory of magic
prongs: WHERE IS SIRIUS
prongs: YOUR BOYFRIEND IS DRUNK AS HELL
padfoot: yea i know i went out for a smoke
prongs: HES DANCING
padfoot: AGAIN???
my bestie sev: He’s roped Lily into it
my bestie sev: He’s a shockingly good dancer
marls: inkow hes look wayy to gangly
padfoot: watch it marlene
padfoot: thats my boyfriend your insulting
marls: Fuck You
marls: i pkay quiduch wiht you
marls: 0 hadn eye coodinatoin
marls: you coildnt do anthiing to me
padfoot: FUCK YOU
thechadmary: dude he just did the dirty dancing lift to lily if you dont come get him i will
thechadmary: hot as hell how did you pull him
padfoot: OMW
marauders
padfoot: just walked past petey telling a group of first years all of the history between james and lily
padfoot: never trust this guy with a secret
wormy: SECRET??????
wormy: worlds worst kept one maybe
moony: Saw Lily listening in also Pete you could’ve been nicer about james
wormy: HOW WAS I RUDE
moony: You called him an incel
wormy: I WASNT WRONG
prongs: YOU CALLED ME WHAT
herstory of magic
prongs: alright guys i am so drunk rn and i know my limits so i will be going up to bed now party hard in my honour
prongs: i shouldnt have had that last shot of firewhiskey
prongs: or the 9 before it if we’re being real
prongs: okay am actually going up to the dorm now but i swear to god someone at this party is wearing the like best costume of mcgonagall
prongs: like they look exactly like her
prongs: anyways good night guys love you all <333