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face of us all,

Summary:

Maybe because Johnny gave him something not even Xiaojun, nor Yangyang, nor Sicheng could give him.

Something only Kun had been able to provide before.

Something only a lover could.

Notes:

a year and a day ago I published the very first OS of this series!:)

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Hendery, Xiaojun, and Yangyang are waiting for Ten at the station.

 

Guts tightening with anticipation. They miss him so much. He's been doing interviews in the capitol for some days now, he looks good on television and with his expensive makeup, next to a second winner he seemed not to be the same person the boys have known for so many years. But he's finally coming home. At last, a boy from District 7 has been able to return.

 

The three of them are close to each other, Hendery leaning against the wall nibbling on his fingers, Yangyang crouching, and Xiaojun standing firmly with his arms linked.

 

They are waiting for the train, hoping, expecting, and waiting.

 

It is what they always do. Hoping Kun's death wouldn't be prolonged. Expecting Lucas to be the last one standing. Waiting for Ten to come back to them.

 

Their hearts race with every second. They need to see him now. It feels like so much time has passed.

 

Hendery needs to see him. He wants to tell him so many things. He wants to apologize to Ten, because he can't to Lucas.

 

'It should have been me. I should have died.'

 

'Neither you nor Ten would be here if it wasn't for Lucas.' Yangyang told him in his moment of wisdom. 'Thank him instead of blaming yourself.'

 

The station is filling up, and the tracks creak with the movement. He's here. Almost there.

 

They didn't know what to expect exactly, maybe a Ten a little different than what they remember but what they see in front of them is the same Ten who left that day, with the weight he lost he looks smaller, and the guilt he carries on his shoulders is visible but they can ignore it when he smiles with relief when he realizes they're there.

 

Yangyang runs so urgently towards Ten that they almost fall, hugging him tightly. One hand on his neck and the other squeezing his torso. He's the youngest and he adores Ten, he has always been his favorite.

 

The other two are quick to join the hug.

 

It's exciting to see him again after being sure that it wouldn't happen. A feeling that they couldn't have with Kun or Lucas.

 

Ten is here, they didn't lose everyone. He's still alive. They're together. Ten, Yangyang, Hendery, Xiaojun and Sicheng. Maybe they're missing two but Ten coming back is a blessing that they did not think possible.

 

When they separate is when they see him, a tall boy, like a shadow. Cloudy eyes that focus on the reunion of friends. 

 

He seems so different from the interviews and the arena, he looked so big then, smart, evil. Right now he just looks awkward, always a step behind Ten, never leaving his side, like a parasite.

 

Ten introduces him as Johnny but they all know him.

 

Yangyang knows him. He's seen what he's done. He saw him on the screens chasing, using and killing people, teenagers, children. Yes, all the tributes went there for that very reason but him, his companions from the first two districts... There was no reason to torment others like that. If it were Yangyang, he would simply commit suicide, he would never take part in those events, he would never kill —Like those siblings— or not in that way, Lucas and Ten had done it but Lucas was always careful, he didn't cause more pain than necessary with his sad eyes and his heavy conscience, he knows that Wong wouldn't have been able to live with the guilt, that's why Ten is the one that survived.

 

Yangyang would rather die himself than allow the capitol to change his being, to poison his humanity but Johnny had done it for pleasure, because his friend Jaehyun was a fucking psychopath. Jaehyun who killed Lucas. Lucas, Lucas, Lucas, Lucas. Jaehyun and Johnny are the same.

 

Yangyang hates the man Ten brings just by looking at him. He hates that Ten is so close to that killer too.

 

-

 

They had never entered The Victor's Village.

 

The place is beautiful, with large houses in a roundabout, a bridge in the middle of the circle with flowers around it because there is a small artificial stream that carries water and fish and the petals that fall with the wind. But when they used to see it from afar it gave them chills, they had never wanted to go in because they knew what it meant, that they had to go and kill people, your own district partner and come back different.

 

Kun was always very educated, as his father is and as his mother once was. Then with words that made the others silly he explained the games in detail, more than the glory of coming out victorious he told them what they meant, why they did them, the reason why it was something negative for all people and all districts.

 

He had that flame in him to stop it one day. But his name was the first to be called last year.

 

Kun was good, too smart compared to the other tributes, he had skills that had never been seen in the games, he was somewhat popular for that, many tributes wanted him as an ally. Kun was worth it, too good to be in there when he could easily be among all those rich people, leading their experiments and giving revolutionary ideas or writing his poems and being an artist. He was so talented in every way.

 

But Qian was smarter than he was strong and when Seungcheol from District 13 slammed him into a large tree with a thick trunk, knife in hand, he couldn't get him off.

 

-

 

Sicheng is there when they arrive, watching with relief and uncontrollable warmth in his heart as Ten's mother and sister hugged him. He hadn't wanted to leave them alone for even a second, so he stayed with them while the others greeted their friend.

 

He stares at Johnny but does not talk to him, does not greet him. Sicheng is quieter than the others, that always helped him, if there was any awkwardness it was never reflected on him but on his friends who were louder by nature so his lack of words wasn't noticeable when Hendery, Yangyang and Xiaojun had already ignored the other victor all the way.

 

Oh, what they had with Johnny was something personal. Although Sicheng knew, he knew the peacekeepers had caused riots in District 1, rejecting their own winner because he let Jaehyun die. Sicheng was well informed of everything, and had told them that the organizers' original plans were to turn the two survivors against each other.

 

They'll want to throw Ten and the other one back into the pit.

 

Maybe they didn't count on them becoming close, that their needs for absolute understanding and no judgement would outweigh the hatred, pain and resentments the games would cause.

 

Because now he was here, with Ten, the supposed enemy that the media painted in a district where he doesn't belong.

 

People already want something to fight for. Sicheng knows, more than the others, he knows revolutionaries from other districts. He knows that District 9 is being difficult to handle, because they don't blame the dead tributes for what happened to Felix and Kyujin. They know that even though they were cruel, the real enemy is the capitol, there will never be another to blame. And that's something Ten seems to show with the charity he gives Johnny. Unconsciously but he knows, and it hurts Lucas' memory, and it hurts the four of them but it's the truth.

 

He wonders how Johnny was allowed to travel here but does not ask.

 

 

'I want to bring Lucas's mom.' He tells him, because that would be something Kun would arrange earlier, but now there is only Sicheng left, who is younger than Ten but older than the other three and Ten is hurting now, so it is his duty. It is what he owes him. Sicheng can demand later.

 

-

 

They are sitting on the bridge, just them, Hendery, Yangyang, Xiaojun, Sicheng and Ten. Johnny is a few meters away, with his feet in the water, caressing the waves that break even in the delicate way he does it.

 

Johnny is quiet, that's what Xiaojun notices. Not in general, just... With them. He remembers how on the broadcasts he used to talk non-stop with Haechan, or how he sat with Jaehyun when they were camping. If it were anyone else Xiaojun would start a conversation, he's an introvert but he's never let anyone feel uncomfortable around him, he supposes this is different, and of course it is because inside him, almost touching the surface is that wish that if Ten and Johnny could both win then Lucas... No... Sicheng has told them, if they weren't so different Ten wouldn't be alive. Ten would have died if they hadn't interrupted. Lucas and Ten wouldn't have been able to get out together. Still, there are two victors.

 

He doesn't understand why he's here in District 7, far from his people, from the place where he grew up. Xiaojun would rather go back home even if there's no one waiting for him.

 

He also doesn't quite understand how Ten is so calm with Johnny's presence. How could everything change so quickly in just a few days? When Ten still carried the heavy love for Kun that never finished blossoming when he left.

 

Xiaojun doesn't judge him, he would never do it, he's just... He's curious, he wonders how Ten would be without Johnny here, if he would cry more or be more broken, if the four of them would be enough to appease him, or if he would be better? He could feel and suffer for Lucas with the family he formed himself years ago, but from the way Ten looks for Johnny with his eyes and the other is always at a considerable distance, never far away, he assumes that this is for the best.

 

Neither of them have said exactly what they're doing together but it's implied. In everything they do, in every little interaction they have.

 

Maybe because Johnny gave him something not even Xiaojun, nor Yangyang, nor Sicheng could give him.

 

Something only Kun had been able to provide before.

 

Something only a lover could. 

 

-

 

"I wanted to... Tell you something..." Sicheng starts.

 

Five gazes fall on him. He's nervous, it's too soon but Bang Chan and Soobin had told him that the sooner the better. It was now or wait for another opportunity that might never come.

 

His friend smiles at him delicately, not knowing what Sicheng is going to ask of him. He doesn't know what kind of sacrifice Sicheng wants from him, from everyone.

 

Ten is simple. Even though his face and laugh stand out, his personality has always been calm, he is not spontaneous like Hendery, he does not have that sense of justice like Kun and Lucas did.

 

And now he looks a little broken, Sicheng has never expected anything from his friends other than the connection to be reciprocal, but now, when the population is in turmoil due to the actions of the siblings from District 4, when for the first time there have been two victors. Sicheng can't think of anything else.

 

These games were different, and Ten is the one who survived. Ten and Johnny. Enemies on the verge of killing each other who somehow found peace between them. They should hate each other, but they don't and the capitol is swallowing it all up, those people who are so far above them, those stupid people see the winners as entertainment even outside the arena.

 

Johnny had been somewhat vocal in the first interview.

 

'Why only have two winners when everyone could survive?'

 

Sicheng guesses that's why Johnny walks a little hunched, with a rib out of place.

 

But he had been so good after that. Complacent and with a smile on his face. He was grateful for the opportunity, he was grateful to Panem. At parties, making his presence felt to speak well of the games, of the money he won, of the house he was given, of being a survivor. After that one comment, he began to sell himself in some way to improve his image, so that they would forget what he committed, paying for the sins of the tributes he teamed up with and for his brutality used to survive and put on a show that the same people of the capitol wanted.

 

Maybe that's why he's allowed to be here, maybe he had done a great job of licking the boots of the same people who caused his misfortune.

 

"Winwin?" Ahh that name. Lucas' special nickname. Sicheng always wins. It's a Win-win situation.

 

"There... I know people from the 9th and the 4th..." Ten looks at him intently. "They think it's a good time for a change... A big change."

 

"A rebellion?" It's the first time Johnny has spoken so loudly. Hendery jumps a little at this.

 

Yes. A change. The rebellion. They want to stop the fucking games. How long until they're all dead. Next year Ten will be called again, and Yangyang is still young. Sicheng doesn't want to die but if he must he could do good with it.

 

"It's been planned for a long time. Before you guys won. But now that they changed the rules themselves it's different. A lot of things changed in there, not just you, there were tributes who played differently. People are opening their eyes, we're all unhappy and there are Districts that are fighting back."

 

"Sicheng... You can't do that, you can't hang out with that kind of people, where did all this come from?" He's not paying attention. God. Sicheng is good at explaining, he had convinced the other three without a problem but with Ten it's harder. He's the one who makes the biggest sacrifice, he doesn't stay in the shadows like Sicheng. But they can't do it alone... Sure, sure Huening Kai from District 4 would have been a better choice, god, that kid in there did more for the rebellion than anyone else in years, he touched the hearts of the districts, of families and people in Panem but he was dead, because speaking in favor of the districts is difficult and punishable, and showing compassion in the arena is not what those people think of them. To them the districts are wild and stupid and Huening Kai and Huening Bahiyyih were not those things.

 

Now they only have Ten, who is a better choice than Johnny. And he's Sicheng's friend, he believes in him. And he promised the other leaders that he would get Ten to accept.

 

"You don't understand. This is good. In the long run but it is... Ten aren't you tired of all the people we've lost? You came back but Lucas? And Kun?" And Jaemin and Kai and Yuqi and Minnie and everyone.

 

"You think it doesn't bother me? Having to live without them? If it were up to me Lucas would be here, Sicheng. I tried, with everything I could I tried to make him the one to come back." Johnny turns around a little, now that they see him they realize how hard it must be for him. Johnny didn't kill Lucas, but Ten did kill Jaehyun. "I shouldn't be here, I..."

 

"What exactly are you asking him?" Johnny again. A middleman they never thought they needed between Ten and them. How, why, when. This conversation is getting tense, there was never anyone between them, it had always been direct communication and now there's Johnny, asking the questions for Ten.

 

"We think Ten can convince more people to join the cause before the next games. Many people want to fight but there are others who need a push."

 

Everyone is quiet for a while. Ten feels desperate, Sicheng shouldn't be giving these speeches even in confidence. They're going to hang him and then what? What will they do without him?

 

What he's saying is stupid, Ten is not what the people want, he's not the hope of the nations. He won yes, by luck. He doesn't think there's anything he can do to move the movement, no he doesn't-he doesn't know anything. He's just as uninformed as when he entered the games, he didn't learn anything in there except to fear while sleeping, to feel guilt, to smile while rich and disgusting people treated him like merchandise, what he knows is the red color of blood, how thick it is and the smell it emanates. Now he knows threats with foundations.

 

If he does any of those things and they find out they punish him, they'll take Johnny, and Ten doesn't know how he could live if that happens.

 

But... The only friends he has left are the ones asking, his closest, most beloved friends, and Johnny had already talked a little about that, about stopping everything, just like Kun did.

 

Kun.

 

"I'm not smart like that." Ten says, he turns around to look at Johnny but he remains quiet, just observing. 

 

Kun was. Lucas too if a little less. They had the potential. Outspoken and just, Lucas was hardworking a representation of everyday workers. Of the people, by the people and for the people.

 

And Kun was a natural leader. Educated, eloquent. He could've been important of he were in a better place with other opportunities.

 

"You are." Sicheng is sure of it. Exposure and understanding go hand in hand. He believes Ten could be good enough. He's always believed in his friends, they're much more than the district, than their limitations. "You are smart and strong, Ten. You have to lead the people."

 

Ten shakes his head.

 

"You're everything we have. It can't be Johnny, Ten. Johnny is the capitol's. You know that. From how he was in the arena. They see him as too violent. He's a sell-out.” It’s the truth, and Sicheng doesn’t feel bad about saying it. It was Johnny's partner who took Lucas away after all. He's only nice because Ten wants him there. And Sicheng wants to give Ten as much as he can. "But you... Lucas sacrificed himself for you, you didn't kill anyone until the very end when you had to. Your relationship with Kun... Ten, you're a direct victim of the games, they've taken as much from you as they've taken from everyone else."

 

Ten is their reflection. Ten is every single person in every district. 

 

"You won't be alone, Ten." Johnny says at last. "You'll be the face of us all, but you won't be alone."

 

 He won't ever allow it. 

 

Notes:

Yangyang is angry
Xiaojun understanding
And Winwin wants change so bad he can taste it on his tongue.

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