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"I've never been to the mountains before."
That simple statement was the catalyst for the entire trip. Steve had told Eddie that he had never been the mountains, so Eddie knew just where to take him. Wayne had been okay with it, giving Eddie a knowing look, but Eddie had chosen to ignore it.
So, instead of spending Christmas on the couch with Wayne, watching basketball and eating frozen dinners, Eddie and Steve are plodding across the country in Wayne's little pickup truck so that they can stay in the little cabin up in the mountains of West Virginia that still belongs to Eddie's family. One of the few things that Al Munson didn't manage to pull out from under their feet and ruin.
"The trees look so weird from up here. They're all spindly," Steve remarked, pointing out the window. "I thought they would have been… I don't know, greener?"
Eddie bit his lip trying to hold in his laughter. "That's because it's winter, dude. All the leaves are gone." Steve's face scrunched up adorably. "Next time we can come back in the spring, or in the fall."
Next time. Like Eddie was sure that Steve was going to stick around that long. Sure, they were moving away together, following Robin to Chicago since she got into school there. But Eddie wasn't stupid. He knew there wasn't a great chance that Steve wouldn't meet someone, move out, live that apple pie life with a wife and children that he liked to talk about.
Leaving Eddie behind, still nursing the feelings that had been growing inside of him since Steve pulled him out of hell.
He shook his head. No use getting lost in what ifs while they were driving together. Plus, he could see the gray clouds gathering in the sky, which likely meant that they were going to get some snow before the night was over.
"Yeah, that would be cool," Steve replied finally, rubbing a hand over his face. "Of course I would forget that leaves fall off the trees in the winter." He laughed, but it was the self-deprecating one where he expected someone to agree with him about how dumb he was.
Eddie wasn't. He wasn't that guy anymore, at least not about Steve. "You said it yourself. You've never been in the mountains."
"So where are we going again?"
Eddie couldn't help but grin. "Up to the cabin where my Meemaw lived. Wayne's momma, you know? It's not much, but it was one of my favorite places growing up." One of the only places Eddie liked to think about, really. His Meemaw was a fiery old woman who loved to bake bread and smoked a pipe in the evenings and could drink Eddie's uncles under the table. She always smelled like Old Milwaukee and warm tobacco, but Eddie loved it.
It still bothered him that Al hadn't take him to see her when she got sick, then she died, buried beside his Grandpappy in the family cemetery. The same one where Wayne would be buried, and where Eddie's own momma was laid to rest.
Maybe Eddie would bring Steve there. If he could bring himself to do it without breaking his own heart.
"I can't wait to see it," Steve said, voice soft. Eddie glanced over at him, seeing him smiling. It made his own face warm. "I wasn't ever close to my grandparents like that. My dad's parents were as stiff and shitty as he is and he and my mom thought her parents were too… I don't know. He just never liked them." Eddie could only wonder why, but didn't really feel it was his place to ask. "What was it like here?"
"Oh man, it was the best. I ran wild in the woods most of the summer, swimming down in the creek. I used to catch frogs with my cousins and go fishing with my uncles and listen to my Meemaw and Grandpappy bicker in the kitchen while she made homemade chicken noodles."
Steve's smile got bigger. "That does sound pretty amazing."
"Can't do any of that now, though. It'll probably snow tonight, but we can go for a woods walk in the morning, if you want."
"I'd like that."
They chatted a little more after that, as they climbed higher up into the mountains. They stopped once at a little scenic overlook to stretch their legs and pee, but evening was starting to creep up on them and Eddie wanted to get to the cabin before the snow started. It was already getting colder, the higher they went, and he was hoping they could get the wood stove going before night really fell.
A couple of times Steve winced at the change in elevation, pointing to his ears and Eddie felt a little bad. He told Eddie about Starcourt and admitted that his ears were sensitive now, would probably need to commit to hearing aids sooner or later. Steve said it like it was a failing on his part, like it was something that he could help.
Eddie offered him a pack of gum, which seemed to help. "It won't be too much longer. We're about thirty minutes out."
"It's fine, Eddie. It'll be worth it when we get there."
He hoped it would be.
-*-
Night had finally fallen by the time they reached the cabin. Snow had already started falling and the roads were slick, but the little pickup and it's reliable tires made it through the hairpin turns up the mountain. They pulled into the driveway and immediately Eddie was hit by a pang of nostalgia. Coupled with the idea of having Steve here with him, it was enough to make his whole chest hurt in the best way.
"Wow, it really is a cabin! It's awesome!" Steve shouted, grabbing his duffle from the backseat. He sounded so giddy, it made Eddie smile.
"Just wait until you see the inside," Eddie replied. He grabbed his own bag, as well as the groceries they had brought, and they headed up the drive. It was steep, the cabin looking out over the woods that Eddie knew like the back of his hand. "It's not much, but-"
"Eddie, it'll be fine. We don't need much, right?"
Eddie nodded. "Yeah, you're right."
He fished his key Wayne had given him out of his pocket and opened the door, wrinkling his nose at the musty smell of the inside. He flicked on the light, pleased that the electricity was working. The snow sometimes fucked with it, given how high they were in the mountains and far away from much else.
The inside was small and cozy, just like Eddie remembered. The front room and kitchen were all open, with two doors leading off to small bedrooms and another leading off into the bathroom that was a relatively new addition. When Meemaw got sick, Wayne had talked her into finally getting a bathroom put in, rather than using the outhouse Eddie vividly remembered from his childhood. It was small, functional, and he was really fucking grateful about not having to brave the cold just to take a shit.
"What were you talking about, Eddie? This is great!" Steve said, busy opening the doors and peeking his head inside. "Man, those quilts look so warm. I bet your Meemaw made them, right?"
Eddie's heart swelled. "Yeah. With my momma. It was their thing to do together, sit by the fire and quilt when we visited in the winter."
Steve's face got that soft look on it again. "I like that. We should do something like that, you know?"
"What, learn to quilt?" Eddie replied, trying to play off the way that idea made his heart race faster.
"Maybe!" Steve laughed, nudging Eddie's shoulder with his own. "Nah, just something like that. We gotta build traditions together, we're going to be living together soon, you know? I never had those as a kid."
Eddie did know. He knew all too well. But if that was what Steve wanted, that's what Steve would get. "Sure. I think that sounds great, man."
They were both too tired to do much more than make themselves a sandwich after the groceries got put away and Eddie got the wood burning stove lit. It wasn't long before both of them were drifting off on the couch while they talked, and they said their goodnights and drifted into the two bedrooms.
The room looked just like how Eddie remembered it; a double bed in the corner, a dresser on the far wall, and the little radiator heater that his Meemaw wanted to make sure he had so he was warm. As he stripped off his clothes and crawled into the bed, Eddie thought about how the only thing missing was Steve.
-*-
The next morning, Eddie woke up to the smell of food cooking. For a moment, he was confused as to why Meemaw was making pancakes in the kitchen, but then he remembered. No, it was Steve making pancakes in his Meemaw's kitchen, like he belonged there. Like he had done it a million times.
Eddie fucking loved him so much.
The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. He'd known for a while that he lusted after Steve, then had grown into liking him and wanting them to be together. This was the first time he'd admitted to himself that maybe it was more than that. That maybe Steve was it for him.
"Fuck," he murmured, scrubbing a hand over his face. That made things more complicated. How was he supposed to spend the next four days with Steve, trapped in a snowy cabin, with the realization that Eddie wanted to spend the rest of his life with Steve just like this, in a place just like this? "Okay, you don't have to say anything. You can just…" he trailed off. What, pretend? Eddie was pretty good at pretending. He could totally pretend that he wasn't ass over tea kettle in love with Steve and that everything was just dudes being pals. Right?
Right?
With a groan, he pulled himself out of the warm bed and grabbed some pants and a shirt, taking one last deep breath before he headed out into the shared space.
Just as he thought, Steve was standing at the stove, spatula in hand, wearing nothing but a pair of slouchy sweat pants that threatened to send Eddie's heart rhythm haywire. "There you are! I was wondering if I was going to have to come wake you up. Breakfast's served!" He motioned towards a steaming stack of pancakes on the table, already oozing butter and syrup. Just how Eddie liked them. "Hope you're hungry."
"Fucking right I am," Eddie said, sliding into a chair. There was a cup of coffee and a glass of orange juice waiting for him too. God, how was Steve so perfect? "What about you?"
"Mine are coming up. Go ahead and eat."
Eddie didn't, he waited until Steve sat down across from him before he began to eat. It was so achingly domestic, but it was exactly what Eddie wanted. Which is why he had to interrupt with, "Want to go walking in the woods after breakfast?"
Steve lit up again. "Yeah. I think that would be awesome."
They finished eating and cleaned up the dishes, another domestic piece that made Eddie want more than he was allowed. He distracted himself with pulling on his coat and boots, bundling up against the chill he knew would be waiting for them. Once they were both wrapped up warm, Eddie opened the back door and led the way down the trail that he knew like the back of his hand.
The snow was falling in fat flakes, already piled up and crunching underneath their boots. It made the world quiet, soft in a way that neither of them really got to experience anymore. "This is nice," Steve said after a while, smiling above where his scarf was wrapped around his neck. "I think I could stay here forever."
I wish you would.
Instead of answering, Eddie just nodded and kept on walking.
It felt like hours before they headed back, the wind picking up and the snow getting thicker in the air. They went around to the front porch this time, stomping snow off their boots. Before they started to head in, Steve grabbed Eddie by the wrist. "Can we sit for a bit?" He pointed to the rocking chairs that had always sat on the porch, the same ones that Meemaw and Grandpappy would sit in after supper, holding hands and rocking together.
Eddie swallowed the lump in his throat. "Sure." They sat down and Eddie had to look away from seeing Steve in his grandfather's chair. "I didn't know you liked the snow so much."
Steve shrugged. "It's pretty. We don't really get snow like this in Hawkins much. I just think it's kind of nice like this." He motioned out towards where everything was blanketed in white, save for the deer tracks that were scattered across the yard. "Thanks for bringing me here, and spending Christmas with me. I know we don't have a tree, or presents, but this? It's perfect."
It was perfect. The best kind of perfect. Eddie didn't care about those things either, if he was honest. Which was why he couldn't believe himself when he opened his mouth and said simply, "I love you." How could he not, after Steve said something like that? Sitting in the chair where Grandpappy told Meemaw every night how grateful he was for her, right up until the day he died?
Steve jolted, staring at Eddie with wide eyes. "What?"
Eddie let out a gusty sigh. There was no way for him to stuff the words back into his mouth and down into his chest where they belonged, so he decided to go for broke. "I said I love you. I brought you here because I wanted to spend time with you, and wanted to share this with you. It wasn't until I woke up this morning that I realized I loved you. I didn't tell you because I expected anything, I just… thought you should know." He squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his fists, bracing himself. "Look, Steve, I-"
"What if I do?"
Steve's tentative voice startled Eddie out of his downward spiral. He opened his eyes to see Steve staring at him with that same soft expression he'd been wearing the past couple of days. It was Eddie's turn to ask, "What?"
Steve turned in the rocking chair so that he was facing Eddie instead of the falling snow. "What if I feel the same way, but didn't know how to tell you? What if I was thinking about how great it was here, just the two of us? What if you were just braver than I was because I was scared I was reading too much into something that I wanted so badly that I was making it up?"
"Steve…" Eddie trailed off, his chest full to bursting.
"Eddie," Steve replied, grinning.
"Does this mean I get to kiss you now?" Eddie asked, getting to his feet and taking the hand that Steve had stretched out to him.
"I'd really like it if you did."
Eddie pulled Steve to him and crushed their lips together in a desperate kiss that had them both sighing into each other's mouths. It felt like the start of something new, while also feeling like coming home. Eddie never wanted it to end.
When they finally did pull apart, they were looking at each other, stars in both of their eyes. "I can't believe I had to drag you all the way to West Virginia to kiss you," Eddie huffed out with a laugh. Honestly, though, he couldn't think of a better place to profess his love for the man he was holding in his arms.
"You can make up for it by kissing me again, don't you think?"
As Steve's lips met his again, all Eddie could think about was spending the rest of his life right here, in one of his favorite places in the world, with the only person he ever wanted to kiss on this front porch.
For the first time in a long time, Eddie felt perfect. Like everything made sense.
Like he'd finally come home.
-END-