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Click.
Ollie was painfully aware of the sound his phone made as he tapped his finger. The noise echoed like a pulse, marking the passage of time as he wrestled with his frustration. He was struggling with a problem: no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t find the perfect song to match his mood.
He knew he was an anomaly when it came to his musical tastes. A wide spectrum of genres filled his playlists, yet he didn't enjoy it much. Today, however, was different—he craved a profound connection with music, a transcendent experience that made him feel alive. Ollie wanted to understand what people mean when they claim they are "drowned in music.”
With a slight frown, he nibbled on the inside of his lip, lost in a labyrinth of thought. He must have skimmed through every genre imaginable, from System of a Down to Celine Dion, forcing himself through tracks that felt more like chores than an escape.
Not all the songs were bad, but none were what he needed. Deep down, Ollie knew he didn’t fully understand what he was searching for; he just felt an urgency for something that would strike the right chord.
Ollie sprawled across his bed, resting his chin on his plush pillow, a sense of defeat settling in. If the silence was truly so deafening, he could watch one of the 99 TikToks collected in his DMs. Should he tackle the 99 videos sitting in his TikTok DMs? Oh, Kimi would absolutely freak out at the number of neglected clips—his expressive reactions echoing in Ollie’s mind like a playful warning. Despite everything, Ollie usually devoured each video Kimi sent his way. In fact, on cue, Kimi sent him a video.
A slight satisfaction hit his brain as their streak went from gray to purple. They were on a 107-day streak. The last time Ollie lost it Kimi ghosted him for a whole day.
Ollie didn’t hesitate to click on the slides. The first slide left him underwhelmed: a stark black background decorated with the text, “It’s just a song.” He swiftly advanced to the next slide, which displayed the lyrics mixed with a blurred background image. “You do it to me so well. Hypnotic, taking over me. Make me feel like someone else.”
Ollie clicked off the video before it could finish, the song lingering in his mind. All he could muster to reply with was a fire emoji.
The song didn't seem like Kimi’s usual type.
He was used to Kimi sending him music and videos in Italian despite the language barrier, but even the songs he was sent in English weren't like that.
Without missing a beat, he opened Spotify and began searching for the song. All it took was for him to begin typing the last lines he heard. He sank deeper into his bed, finally shutting off his phone, and surrendered himself to the song as it filled his room.
“Magnetic, everything about you,”
“You really got me,”
He took a shaky breath. He knew the word that would follow, but still, he was leaning with anticipation. Something about the single word that followed drove him crazy.
“Now,” the singer's voice urged, and Ollie’s heart raced like a runaway train.
He shook his head, embarrassed of himself. Why was he feeling this rush over a song? It was just music, just words, wasn't it? Why did Kimi send him this song of everything?
“You do it to me so well.”
“Hypnotic.”
“Taking over me.”
“Make me feel like someone else.”
“You got me talking in my sleep.”
His thoughts drifted to Kimi—more specifically, to the sparkle in his eyes, so vibrant and lively, making Ollie feel like he was on another plane of existence whenever their gazes locked. And he couldn’t help but remember how Ollie always felt the need to tilt his head back to meet his gaze. Did Kimi ever consider just how often their eyes locked? Did Kimi think the things Ollie thought when they looked at each other? Had Kimi ever stopped to consider how often their heads drew close, inches apart?
“Locked up 'til you're moonlit, brushing my hair back.”
No one was there to pull him back into reality. The thoughts surged, and he could practically feel his fingers weaving through Kimi’s curls, a fantasy bursting with longing that demanded to be acknowledged. Maybe he was the first boy that would get to.
“Feeling your lips on my cold neck.”
The warmth of the song began to battle the warmth of his thoughts, his imagination spinning closer to Kimi’s soft touch. The memory flashed vividly in his mind: Kimi leaning in, his voice a gentle whisper. “I can teach you Italian,” he had teased, a playful smile dancing on his lips, sparking electricity in Ollie’s chest.
“I can teach you,” he had repeated, just above a whisper, as if capturing the very essence of that magical moment. Ollie could still feel the warmth of Kimi's gaze wrapping around him like a favorite blanket.
Ollie slapped his face with both hands, feeling the sting ripple across his skin. “What on earth is going on with me?” he muttered under his breath, the frustration bubbling beneath the surface like a shaken soda can ready to burst. He flopped back onto his pillow, striking it with his fist in an attempt to clear his thoughts. The chaotic mix of emotions was overwhelming, and he wasn't sure how to piece himself back together.
He knew he couldn't ask Kimi for help. Was he supposed to admit to his best friend that a song made him unable to think of anyone else? That song is the reason why he wants to know how Kimi’s lips feel against his.
This reminded him of something: the moment Charles Leclerc had looked him in the eye and called him "dear." That innocent yet intimate term of endearment had sent a jolt through Ollie's heart, setting it racing as adrenaline coursed through his veins. Moments later, he found himself lost in a fog of thoughts, struggling to articulate any semblance of coherent speech. For the entire hour that followed that brief interaction, he had felt like a stammering fool, the only sounds escaping his lips were muffled noises of agreement and rapidly uttered apologies.
To Ollie, Charles Leclerc was more than just a talented driver; he had become a cornerstone of Ollie's emotional landscape, a figure shaping his understanding of self in ways he couldn’t fully put into words. However, there was an elephant in the room—the realization that Charles had awakened something profound within him. An absurd thought bubbled to the surface: Charles made him gay. Ollie couldn’t help but chuckle bitterly at how ridiculous that sounded in his mind. Yet it was a thought he kept tucked away, a secret he felt he could safeguard fiercely. Liking guys felt sacred, a truth that was his alone, tucked neatly in the corners of his heart. He had accepted it years ago. He had no desire to be the one, the sole openly gay driver in the world of Formula 1 racing.
Was his secret meant to be shared? Ollie shook his head. He doesn't know who he would even share it with. He wasn't ready to let anyone know about the secret life of Oliver Bearman.
Did Kimi have a secret of his own?
Surely not.
Ollie’s thoughts tangled as he lay there in the silence, his phone abandoned beside him. His mind wandered back to the song, to the words that seemed to bleed into his thoughts no matter how hard he tried to fight it. Why had Kimi sent him that? Why did it make Ollie’s pulse race? Was it just a song, as the video suggested, or was it something more? It was just a song, right? But the way Kimi had sent it—so matter-of-fact, as if it was nothing—made it seem as though it meant something deeper, something Ollie couldn’t quite place.
The way the lyrics seemed to echo in the deepest parts of him, wrapping themselves around his heart. The words “hypnotic, taking over me,” replayed in his head, a dizzying loop he couldn’t escape. It wasn’t just the song; it was the way Kimi had sent it. It was the way their connection felt more intense every day. Every message, every glance, every moment spent together felt more electric than the last.
Maybe I’m not the only one feeling this, Ollie thought. Maybe Kimi feels it too.
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That night, Ollie dreamed. It was a sweet, childlike dream. The air was fragrant with the sweet scent of blossoms. The sky above was the perfect shade of blue, not too bright, not too dark, and the sun shone with a warm, golden hue, casting a glow over everything, from the grass beneath him to the towering figures that rose around him.
But it wasn't the sky that caught his attention. No, it was the sunflowers. Tall, proud, and vibrant, their golden faces seemed to block out the light as they rose into the air, stretching out towards the heavens. Ollie always heard that the sunflowers follow the sun, their heads tilting as the light moved through the sky. Yet in this dream, it wasn't the sun they followed—it was him. As if each one had turned to look directly at him, their faces warm and curious, inviting him into their circle. It was almost like they were conscious, aware of his presence in a way flowers weren’t supposed to be.
The sunflowers surrounded him in a perfect circle, their sturdy stalks strong and comforting, creating a sense of safety, of belonging. Ollie felt like he was in a space made just for him—a place crafted from his deepest, most unspoken desires, one where he could simply exist without fear or doubt. He felt grounded here as if nothing could touch him, nothing could break this peaceful, dreamlike reality.
His fingers brushed the soft, velvety blades of grass that grew at his feet, the cool sensation a sharp contrast to the warm air that caressed his skin. He let his hand linger, relishing the moment, as though the world around him had paused, frozen in time. For once, he didn’t have to be anyone or anything other than himself. There was no pressure. No expectations. There was just humanity.
The serene ambiance was interrupted by the unmistakable sound of grass crunching underfoot, followed by a distinct rustling noise. And there stood Kimi Antonelli, adorned by the sunflowers behind him. It looked like a halo was placed on his head. Like if Ollie leaned to touch him he would turn to gold. An angel dressed in Mercedes gear, Kimi had his cap tilted slightly more to one side than usual, a charmingly casual detail that made Ollie’s heart swell with happiness.
His hair, tousled from the wind, caught the sunlight just right, making it shimmer like strands of gold. He stood there for a moment, his posture relaxed but confident, as though he had appeared out of nowhere, sent from some distant realm. The whimsical sight drew a broad, joyful smile across Ollie’s face. “Eh?” Kimi laughed, his voice playful and melodic.
“Come here,” Ollie beckoned, his voice cheerful and inviting. Kimi, understanding the unwritten invitation, nodded eagerly. Ollie’s pulse quickened as Kimi slid down beside him, his legs brushing Ollie’s, the sudden warmth of his body sending a spark of heat through Ollie’s chest. He couldn’t help but blush at the unexpected contact. Kimi’s skin was warm and soft, and the proximity felt electric. Every tiny movement—the way Kimi settled next to him, the way his breath brushed against Ollie’s ear—felt amplified in the dream world, every sensation heightened to a dizzying degree.
Ollie swore he had forgotten how to breathe. He didn't take a breath as his hands guided themselves to Kimi’s cap. His fingers took a lead on the hat to push it straight. The touch was softer than Ollie meant, it was maybe too intimate, but it felt natural. As his fingers traveled down the other boy, he realized he didn't want to pull away.
There was something magnetic between them. Something unspoken. The air around them was thick with a quiet, unacknowledged tension, and Ollie felt it building with every passing second. His hand stayed on Kimi’s cheek for just a heartbeat longer than necessary, fingers grazing the smooth curve of his jaw. His heart beat louder in his chest as he felt Kimi’s breath hitch, just barely, beneath his touch.
Kimi’s eyes darkened, but it wasn’t with discomfort or surprise—it was something else. A shared understanding. “Orso,” he murmured, his voice low, almost reverent, and Ollie’s heart nearly stopped.
“Kim,” Ollie whispered back, his voice betraying the pounding rhythm of his heart. He felt lightheaded like the world around him was fading away, leaving only the two of them suspended in this dreamlike space. It was as if Kimi was the only thing that mattered, and the feeling, the connection between them, was the only thing that existed.
Before he could say anything more, his hand moved almost involuntarily, fingers brushing over the delicate chain around Kimi’s neck. The cool metal felt solid beneath his touch, grounding him, but when his fingers came across a small charm engraved with the initials “OB,” a thrill raced through his chest.
“My initials?” Ollie cooed, his voice full of wonder as his eyes met Kimi’s.
Kimi’s lips curled into a smile that sent a wave of warmth crashing over Ollie. He tilted his head slightly, as if contemplating something, and then spoke with an ease that took Ollie’s breath away. “It is not surprising. You love me.”
Ollie froze, and his hand stayed on the chain. The words hung in the air, for him, to him nothing in the world existed at this moment. Kimi simply just smiled at him. Smiled as if he didn't rock Ollie's world with words.
Ollie swallowed hard, his voice suddenly thick with emotion. “I do,” he admitted, his heart pounding in his ears as if the entire world had suddenly narrowed down to this single moment, this single confession. His eyes never left Kimi’s as he leaned in, just a fraction of an inch, so close that he could feel the warmth of Kimi’s breath against his lips, a gentle reminder of how small the space between them had become.
Kimi’s gaze softened, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips, but it wasn’t playful anymore. It was something deeper, something more intimate. Kimi’s eyes searched Ollie’s face, as though looking for something—something that only Ollie could provide.
And then, in the quietest of whispers, Kimi leaned in. The world around them seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them suspended in this dream.
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As Ollie slowly regained consciousness, the only words that escaped his lips were a quiet, resolute,” I do.” It was a murmur laced with a mix of relief and yearning, a confession lingering in the cool morning air. His hand instinctively moved to trace his lips, still tinged with the faint warmth of a whispered truth that had danced just out of reach. He carried two secrets within him; he was gay. The other, far more intoxicating, was his feelings for his Italian teammate.
What if, deep down, Kimi did like guys? Or could he be the exception? He bit down on his lip, the thought gnawing at him. If he were a girl instead of the boy he was, would Kimi and him already be together? Would they be even more inseparable than they already were? The very image of a perfect female version of himself flashed in his mind, standing beside Kimi as they shared laughter and company during training. It was almost too easy to imagine—them engaging in the same playful banter, the same inside jokes. Everything was the same but they loved each other.
Ollie needed to hear that song again. He opened Spotify swiftly and let it play again. This time it stung. He closed his eyes, and Kimi flooded his head. Did Kimi pay this much attention to the lyrics too? Did he hear how much desire was in the lyrics and think of Ollie?
He could almost hear Dino in the background, teasing Kimi with a light-hearted jab about how he was a simp for his girl. Ollie was a boy though. He wasn't a girl. Gay jokes were funny until one of them was gay. Until one of them is in love.
With a sudden urgency, Ollie craved the song that had sparked this torrent of emotions. He swiftly opened Spotify, his fingers flying over the screen as he searched for it. When the familiar melody began to play, it struck a chord deep within him, pain and desire intertwining in an exquisite ache. He closed his eyes. and in that instant, Kimi consumed his thoughts wholly.
Did Kimi ever listen to the lyrics with the same intensity? Did he feel the undercurrent of longing woven into every note, and, as the words echoed, could he somehow think of Ollie amidst that? The yearning in Ollie's chest tightened as the chorus played.
“Hypnotic, taking over me.”
Without a moment's hesitation, Ollie instinctively reached for the call button, his fingers trembling slightly as he selected Kimi’s name from the contacts. He needed to hear his voice—something was easing about it, a melody that wrapped around his anxious thoughts like vines on the side of a house. The thought of Kimi’s accent brought warmth to his chest, and he longed for it. As he waited for the call to connect, Ollie focused intently on the rhythmic vibrations of the rings, silently counting each one in his mind.
One. The sound filled the silence of the room, and with a deep exhale, he pressed the phone harder against his ear, a soft sigh escaping his lips. He felt troubled as if some elusive song had lodged itself in the back of his mind, playing a tune only he could hear. But deep down, he knew it meant more than just a catchy melody; it was a reminder that Kimi had a magnetic pull over him, an undeniable need for his life to be tangled together. Did Kimi realize the effect he had?
Two. A smile slowly crept across Ollie’s face as he imagined Kimi on the other end—probably rummaging through his usually chaotic room, where clothes lay strewn about in a colorful mess. He wanted his clothes to join Kimi’s on the floor.
Kimi had an uncanny ability to sense when Ollie needed him most; it felt like he was always just a heartbeat away, perched on the edge of anticipation, waiting for a notification that would signal it was time to bridge the distance between them.
Did Kimi yearn too?
Three. As the phone rang, each pulse rumbled through him, each sound feeling increasingly alive and animated. Ollie’s heart raced wildly, mimicking the revving of an engine preparing to soar into the sky. He could almost feel it now—the intoxicating sensation of being pressed against Kimi’s chest, listening to his steady heartbeat, and it sent a thrill coursing through him, amplifying the chaos of his thoughts.
Just as he was about to lose himself in daydreams of Kimi, the third ring faded into silence. Kimi’s voice broke through, soft but clear, as he greeted Ollie.
“Kimi.” Ollie breathed out the name, the syllables tumbling into the air like a whispered secret.
He could hear the background noises, a muffled cacophony of movement that suggested Kimi was on the go, perhaps juggling his scattered belongings in a moment of urgency.
“Oliver? Tutto bene?” Kimi’s concern wrapped around Ollie, a wave of warmth that felt so familiar. Ollie smiled, feeling his chest warm in return. “I missed your voice,” he admitted before he could second-guess it. The words tumbled out, softer than he meant them to be, but real. And immediately, heat rushed to his cheeks. He pressed his hand to his mouth, half-embarrassed, half-hoping Kimi hadn’t caught the rawness in his voice.
Ollie’s words hung in the air for a moment, vulnerable and raw. He could almost hear the gentle pause on the other end of the line, as if Kimi was weighing his response carefully, unsure whether Ollie’s admission was more than just a fleeting thought. But the silence stretched too long, too heavy for Ollie to bear. His heart beat loudly in his chest was the loudest thing in either room.
“You did?” Kimi's voice finally broke through the stillness, soft yet brimming with warmth. The playful edge that usually characterized their banter lingered in the air, but beneath it was something deeper—a resonance that hinted Kimi was attuned to the weight of Ollie’s words. As Ollie listened, he couldn’t help but notice the way Kimi’s voice had dropped to a near whisper. It was familiar in a way be missed.
Imagining Kimi on the other end, Ollie could picture him casually nestled against the side of the bed, the phone held close to his ear, in a cozy room that probably bore no resemblance to anything extravagant. His habit of booking the cheapest accommodations was a reliable quirk—one time he jokingly insisted, “I have no need for a fancy backdrop,” which often earned them shared laughs over the absurdity of their surroundings.
“I—” Ollie began, but the weight of his next words felt distinctly heavier. Was he truly prepared to dismantle the protective walls he had carefully constructed? Walls that kept him safe from the intoxicating pull towards Kimi, a pull that felt stronger than ever. Even though every fiber of his being urged him onward, he hesitated, acutely aware of the risks involved.
There was a shift in the way Kimi said his name, the slight emphasis on it sending a jolt of warmth through Ollie.
“Oliver,” Kimi repeated, his voice low, like a whisper that demanded attention. “I missed you too.”
He wasn’t prepared for the delicate, almost fragile way Kimi spoke his name, as if the syllables themselves held the weight of a thousand unspoken thoughts and hidden feelings.
“I was thinking,” Ollie mumbled
“What about?”
“About everything,” Ollie replied softly, the words slipping out of him like a confession. “About the song you sent me earlier... about you...” the last words came out softer than a whisper. His own eyes widened in the horror of his comment.
Kimi was quiet for a moment, and Ollie almost regretted saying anything. He waited for the joke, the teasing remark that would cut through the tension, but it didn’t come. Instead, Kimi’s voice returned, quieter now, as though he was considering his words carefully.
“I know,” The curly-haired boy must have laid into his bed considering the shuffling made after he said those words. “Makes me think of you too.” he said, the words not just a confirmation but an invitation. There was no teasing in his tone, no lightness to diffuse the tension. Just truth.
Ollie’s heart leapt into his throat, his eyes closing as the weight of those words crashed over him. Makes me think of you too. The unspoken meaning was clear, and it made his pulse race even faster. Kimi hadn’t just sent the song randomly—he had sent it with intent, with meaning, just like Ollie had listened to it with his own unspoken feelings swirling beneath the surface.
“I think of you when I hear it. And It drives me crazy.” Ollie managed, his voice trembling slightly. He was terrified of what Kimi might say, but he needed to know. He had to know. Ollie bit the side of his thumb in nauseating anticipation.
“You always have a place in my head, mate,” Kimi’s reply came, so quietly that it felt almost like a secret, a truth shared between only the two of them. “I hear the song... not just the lyrics, Ollie. It’s the way it causes me to sense. The way i think of how I want to be with you,” Kimi took a steadying breath, his words pouring out like a carefully constructed thought that he had long held inside, “more than anything.”
If this exchange had been under any other circumstance, at any other moment, Ollie might have cracked a joke about how many Duolingo lessons it took Kimi to puzzle out such profound feelings. But instead, he felt himself melting under the depth of Kimi's confession, a warmth spreading through him that dissolved his previous anxieties.
As the silence lingered, Ollie’s heart thudded loudly in his chest, the sound echoing in his ears. The quiet stretched unnaturally, amplifying the weight of Kimi’s words and sending a shiver down his spine. It was as if the walls of the room were closing in, creating an intimate bubble around them, where only Kimi's voice and those vulnerable admissions existed.
“I—I don't know what to say.” Ollie's voice came out breathless, his words caught in the air like fragments of something far too big to be contained. His mind raced, thoughts colliding, crashing against each other. He had never heard Kimi speak like this before. The familiar teasing, the gentle sarcasm—they were gone, replaced by something deep, something that left Ollie feeling exposed, raw, vulnerable in a way he hadn’t anticipated. The weight of the confession was pressing in on him, forcing him to confront feelings he had buried so deeply.
“It’s okay,” Kimi murmured, his voice soft but steady, like a gentle wave breaking against the shore. “No need to speak. Not yet.”
But Ollie had to say something. He felt like he was standing at the edge of a precipice, a dizzying drop below him, yet the pull of what Kimi had said was irresistible. He didn’t want to pull back, didn’t want to hide anymore. His emotions, the feelings he had been trying to bury for so long, surged forward, demanding to be acknowledged.
"I dream about you more than I should." For a moment, the world around them seemed to fade, leaving only the weight of his confession hanging in the air, vulnerable and raw. Kimi cleared his throat on the other end of the phone. likely unaware of the fact Ollie heard his phone slam to the side of the dresser.
“I see,” Kimi responded, his delight evident in his tone. “So, what am I wearing in these dreams?” His playful inquiry broke the tension like a sunrise piercing through dark clouds, and Ollie found himself laughing—a sound so familiar, so comforting.
He playfully quipped back, “A Mercedes kit,” the words slipping out with a mischievous grin, the teasing lightness restoring a sense of normalcy between them.
“Funny,” Kimi retorted with a laugh of his own, “the most you wear in mine is a Ferrari cap.” Ollie slapped his hand over his mouth. He hated how Kimi reacted to the silence by a laugh. How could they jokingly flirt with each other after almost confessing something so intimate?
“That doesn't need to be a dream.” Ollie stuck his hands through his hair in embarrassment.
Kimi’s voice softened on the other end, his teasing tone slipping into something quieter, more thoughtful. “No, it doesn’t.”
Ollies heart skipped, a lump rising in his throat. He had never been good at this—at saying what was on his mind, at letting feelings spill out without the safety net of a joke or a smirk to hide behind. And yet, there was no mistaking the gravity in Kimi’s words.
The straight haired boy exhaled slowly, rubbing his neck. "I meant it, you know. What I said earlier."
Kimi was silent for a long moment, and Ollie could feel the weight of it stretching across the distance between them, thick and fragile. Just when he thought maybe the words had been too much, Kimi spoke again, quieter now, almost as if he were speaking to himself rather than Ollie.
“I know.”
The simplicity of the response both unsettled and reassured Ollie, his mind scrambling to process. But Kimi didn’t give him time to overthink it.
“I don’t dream about you as often as you do about me," Kimi added, his voice soft but sure, "but when I do... you’re wearing a Ferrari cap." There was a playful edge to his tone, yet it carried a weight that made Ollie’s heart quicken.
The corners of Ollie’s mouth twitched, wavering between amusement and uncertainty as he allowed himself to imagine the scene. He could almost see Kimi’s mischievous grin, even without looking. It was the kind of smile that wrapped around Ollie’s heart, making it race in ways he’d tried to ignore.
“Maybe I should get a Mercedes cap instead,” Ollie responded, his voice barely rising above a whisper, as if uttering the words too loudly might shatter the moment they were sharing.
Kimi’s laughter resonated in the air around them, warm and inviting, full of affection that seemed to wrap around Ollie like a comforting blanket. “Maybe you should,” he replied, the lightness in his voice causing Ollie’s heart to flutter erratically with a mix of hope and fear.
Ollie’s heart was racing again, and this time, there was no escaping it. He had spent so long building walls around his feelings, convinced that keeping things light, keeping things distant, was safer. But the truth was slipping through the cracks, filling the spaces between their words, between the jokes and the teasing. He couldn't pretend anymore.
“I think...” Ollie started, his voice tight as he fought the urge to pull back, to laugh it off like he always did. “I think I’ve been trying too hard to ignore it. All of it. The... the way I feel about you.” He swallowed hard, wishing he could pull the words back the second they left his mouth, but it was too late. They hung there between them, raw and unrefined.
Kimi didn’t say anything right away, and Ollie felt his stomach twist, wondering if he had ruined everything, if he had pushed too far. But then, Kimi spoke, his voice low, steady—almost like he had been waiting for Ollie to say it, even if neither of them had been brave enough to admit it until now.
“I wanted honesty, you never need to hide it.” Kimi’s words were like a balm to Ollie’s frayed nerves. “But eh I get it. It is easy, no? To pretend it is nothing, to keep everything simple. But it is not simple, Ollie. Not for me. Not for you.”
Ollie’s breath caught in his throat. “You—” His voice cracked, and he had to clear it before he could continue. “You think I’ve been pretending?” His mind raced, memories flashing—moments when they were so close, so in tune, but Ollie had held back, afraid to risk the easy camaraderie they shared for something more complicated.
“We both have,” Kimi said quietly. “And... i think we do not need to anymore.”
The simplicity of Kimi’s words made Ollie’s chest tighten. For the first time, the walls around him felt unnecessary. Kimi wasn’t pushing for anything more than what Ollie could give. He wasn’t rushing. He was just there, present and steady in a way Ollie hadn’t known he needed.
Ollie let out a shaky breath, leaning back against the backboard of his bed. "I don’t know if I can just... let go of all the things that’ve kept me safe. It’s scary, Kimi. You’ve always been this... constant, and now I’m not sure what’ll happen if I—"
“If you what?” Kimi’s voice was gentle, teasing yet serious. “If you let yourself feel something for me?”
Ollie’s heart fluttered painfully in his chest, and he didn’t know if it was from the weight of his own thoughts or the force of Kimi’s question, but the words tangled in his throat. He had spent so long pretending that everything between them was simple, that it didn’t matter, when in truth, it mattered more than anything. The air between them hummed with that unspoken truth now, each word from Kimi piercing through the walls Ollie had so carefully built.
“I think I’m scared,” Ollie admitted, his voice a soft whisper, fragile and uncertain. “Scared of what happens if I let go... if I stop pretending it’s nothing.”
There was a beat of silence, heavy and pregnant, before Kimi’s voice broke through, warm and grounding. “You don’t need to be scared with me, Ollie. I’m not going anywhere. And I’m not asking you to decide everything all at once. Just... don’t pretend anymore. Not with me.”
Ollie could feel the sincerity in Kimi’s words, the quiet weight of them settling in his chest like a promise, a quiet declaration that, maybe, they could finally stop running from what they both knew had been there all along.
He drew in a slow breath, steadying himself, letting Kimi’s presence—even through a phone call—soothe the tremors in his hands.
“I’m not pretending anymore,” Ollie said, his voice stronger now, clearer, as though the weight of his confession had released something inside him. “I... I want you, Kimi. More than I’m willing to admit sometimes. More than I should.”
Kimi’s response was soft, but there was a profound clarity in it that made Ollie’s pulse race once more. “I want you too, Ollie. No rush. Just... let it be.”
For the first time in a long while, Ollie felt like he could breathe, like the truth between them didn’t have to be scary anymore, didn’t have to unravel everything they had. It could just be. For once, they didn’t have to rush or hide. They could exist in the space between them, in the quiet understanding that this was real—this was something worth exploring.
The atmosphere between them buzzed with an unfamiliar energy, a delicate connection that felt both fresh and significant. Kimi’s laughter chimed again, light and playful, filling the space with a warmth that made Ollie’s heart flutter. It was as if a weight had lifted, and he could feel the corners of his mouth tugging upwards into a smile, his spirits a touch lighter than they had been just moments before.
“You would look incredibly attractive in my Mercedes shirt,” Kimi teased, his playful tone effortlessly breaking the fragile tension that had settled between them.
Ollie chuckled softly, a shake of his head accompanying the laughter. The warmth blossomed in his chest, spreading like rays of sunlight breaking through clouds on a dreary day. “You won’t let that go, will you?” he asked, a hint of playful exasperation in his voice, yet it was undeniably lighter than before.
In response, Kimi made a playful smooching sound into the phone, a sound that made Ollie’s heart skip a beat. “I want to kiss you,” Kimi confessed, his voice laced with sincerity and a hint of longing that sent a thrill through Ollie.
Feeling bold, Ollie mirrored the sentiment, leaning closer to the speaker of his phone and planting a soft kiss near it. “There you go,” he replied, a grin spreading across his face, heart racing at the sweet intimacy they shared—even through the distance.