Chapter Text
The problem with Jason and his revenge is that the fucker is actually a good strategist. Dick spends the first days after he interrupted date-night on high alert. He isn"t sure what direction Jason will take for his revenge, so he is prepared for a lot. Nothing comes.
No, it"s a week after the fact that the nature of his "punishment" becomes clear.
He"d somewhat forgotten about the whole thing with the power of compartmentalisation and deciding that he doesn"t want to think about the easy way he obeyed Danny when he was using his authoritative voice. So he hadn"t expected anything when Jason texted him to say he was in Bludhaven for a work thing and if Dick wanted to have pre-patrol dinner together. He said yes.
And it was fine too. Jason brought the chinese takeout and a six pack of soda as expected and everything. It"s just that when he unzipped his jacket, because he"s alway wearing his leather motorcycle jackets everywhere, that Dick was confronted with his hubris.
Jason"s jacket was hanging in front of part of the text, but "bmissi" & "eedab" were easy enough to interpret. Submissive & Breedable, classy. Dick"s pretty sure his face is twisted up like he just bit into a lemon. Jason bursts out laughing at the sight of it.
–
Dicks second mistake, as it turns out. Was expecting only Jason to get his revenge in.
It"s a small off world mission, just a little under a week including travel time and a small team of four.
Nightwing doesn"t make much of a fuss over having Phantom and Arsenal on the same mission, they are professional and don"t bring things out into the field. Starfire and he himself have put their brave but failed attempt at a relationship behind them too, so that is not a problem either and all four of them know the others and can get along with them well. Part of off world missions is the bit where everyone is trapped in small quarters in a spaceship, so the interpersonal is quite important so he puts a lot of thought into team composition besides power sets and the mission requirements.
It"s one day into the journey that Roy and Dick end up in the small on board gym together. Roy"s workout clothes would be entirely appropriate, except for the fact that his shorts say "Property of Phantom" across the butt and his shirt says "I"d rather be in sub -space".
Dick refuses to respond this time and Roy acts like nothing strange is up at all so they end up in this strange mutual game of play-pretend that everything is normal. That is until Kori walks in.
She pauses in the doorway, oggling Roy"s ass in a way that almost makes Dick pull out the Bat"s "workplace sexual harassment" powerpoints. Before he can do anything of the sort she turns in place, and walks off again yelling for Phantom.
Dick isn"t surprised when he later accidentally walks in on Danny and Kori in a rather passionate make-out with a delighted Roy watching on, but he does feel like it aged him by about four years. He should really learn to knock before walking into someone"s quarters. Stupid lack of boundaries biting him in the butt again.
–
It"s pretty impressive how they pull it off. Dick knows the three of them managed to keep their relationship off the family"s radar for years until Jason came out. Too bad they used those same skills to horrify Dick and Dick alone. No other family members have witnessed any of it at all, it"s impressively precise.
It"s mostly terrible gag shirts - "Ginger Bred Man" "Certified Top Quality Dom" - but there was that one time Jason and Dick both went for the communal showers after a bad adventure down in the Gotham sewers. Jason had some very typical bruises that Dick tried not to automatically catalogue. Though maybe, based on Jason"s tired expression and ‘I might as well’ attitude, that one might not have been on purpose.
Regardless, Dick has learned his lesson. Which means that he"s properly weary when the three are off schedule and he hears someone talk about ghost tech on comms.
" What does Penguin even need ghost tech for, it"s highly suspicious. We got to run it by Phantom right? " Spoiler, oh Spoiler, you don"t know what you are talking about.
Nightwing grimaces before he activates his own mic."You don"t want to. Trust me. Can"t it wait?"
" No, N, if we"re right they"re planning to blow something up with it sometime tonight. We have mere hours… Why not? They didn"t like it when you interrupted last time but it wasn"t like that time someone dyed all your sheets. " And that is the problem with the subtle retribution, none of the others saw it.
"I learned some things about Hood, Arsenal and Phantom that you don"t want to learn." He sighs. "If you go, whatever you do: Do not even get close to the bedroom door. Enter through the kitchen and stay in the kitchen. You might be able to save yourself from retribution by coming in with compensation for the interruption. A promise to babysit Lian and a throuple"s retreat might go a long way."
Red Robin bravely ventured forth, armed with a promise of babysitting for their upcoming anniversary and shifts in the patrol schedule taken up by him and Spoiler. Nightwing doesn"t know what went down, but 45 minutes later Robin is back on comms with overrides and tech designed to override ghost-tech.
It is after patrol, back in the cave, that Tim silently sits down next to Dick. "So Jason…" He starts and never finishes.
"Yep." Dick replies.
"You knew beforehand?"
"I had some suspicions. They were confirmed and then some."
Tim has a grimace. "I guess that I learned a lesson about assumptions and judging books by covers. I should have listened to you and stayed in the kitchen. I got impatient and then heard some things that I would rather forget."
Dick snorts. "Yeah, I tried to warn you." The interesting thing about assumptions is that most would assume things between the three of them were the other way around, given that Jason and Roy tower over Danny.
There is an important thing they haven"t addressed yet though… "Did they take your offer for compensation for bothering them when they went no-contact?"
Tim nods. "They asked me to double my babysitting offer, but said they"d otherwise spare me."
Dick smiles. "Good. Good. I had the dubious honour of being subjected to a rainbow of horrible explicit gag t-shirts. Babysitting our darling niece sounds like the better option."
They"re both silent for a little bit.
Tim stretches his arms above his head. "I guess I"m gonna write a little protocol for it. If you hadn"t been on comms to warn me…" He grimaces. "Let"s prevent people from repeating our mistakes."
Dick snorts. "Sounds like a plan."