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Hyunjin props his chin onto his hand as he watches the scene in front of him evolve. “Jeonginnie”, he calls, trying not to startle the younger. But it’s hopeless.
Jeongin is fighting hard. He’s trying not to slip into Littlespace, in which he hadn’t been for weeks. They have been busy with producing, recording and practising for their come back, so their youngest didn’t have the time to even think about being a Little at all. Now that everything is over, his unconsciousness is pulling him faster on that road than he expected.
Jeongin ignores him, with tears streaming down his face as he continues to eat from his bowl of ramen. His hands tremble as he digs his chopsticks, but his concentration visibly continues to fail. He doesn’t want to slip yet; he wants to prove himself he can stay big for longer.
“Innie, it’s okay. You can slip. I’m here. You deserve it”. Hyunjin, the caregiver, tries to encourage him, or has been since they have gotten home from their work trip. He could already see it in Jeongin’s tired eyes when they filmed music videos abroad, but tried not to mention anything since he knew that would only irritate the younger.
Jeongin shakes his head, more tears are falling down. He sniffles as he pushes the food inside his mouth, chewing slowly and with unease the food. Solid food feels suddenly so hard to chew or even digest, and for once Jeongin wishes he would have been fed something lighter. But that brings him back to his original thought; he doesn’t want to be a Little. Shaking his head again, he attempts to swallow, but slightly chokes on it.
Hyunjin is fast to reach for his glass and leans it to his lips. It’s an instinct for the older, to be always there for him and even assist him during their meals. Even when Jeongin isn’t a Little, he’s always seen wiping his mouth or making sure he has enough food on his plate. Hyunjin would never get Jeongin out of sight, for the simplest reason that he loves him.
Once he makes sure Jeongin isn’t choking anymore, he puts down the cup and sighs back into his seat. Jeongin is embarrassed and flushed, trying to visibly ignore that he needs help with drinking water. He wants to avoid Hyunjin’s caring look on him, but it only makes him feel more guilty for everything.
Which is why, he gives up. He sets the chopsticks down and breaks into sobs. Hyunjin immediately stands up and brings the latter in his arms. Lifting him up, he coos as he holds him tightly to his chest. Jeongin continues to cry in his hold, for many reasons. The exhaustion for having to hold for so long, for not being able to be a Little whenever he wants to, and also for having a big ego. He’s always scared to be a burden to his caregivers, even when he gets told that he’ll never be, a burden. Jeongin just wants to feel normal, but that’s exactly when he needs to be taken care of. When he’s Little, his Hyunjin will always look out for him, and decide what is best for him.
“I know baby, I know”, Hyunjin reminds, patting him softly onto his back and walking towards their bedroom. Jeongin’s wails are muffled and still loud when he sits down onto the bed. Hyunjin tries to calm him by rocking him continously. Placing Jeongin onto his lap and caressing his back into circular motions has always worked.
When Hyunjin does that, he notices the sobs having gone to quiet whimpers. Hyunjin starts to shush him gently, almost sounding like white noise. Jeongin sniffles with arms wrapped tightly around his neck, with his face buried in his collarbones. Hyunjin can’t see him properly from there, but he knows he must look tired.
He slowly stands up to grab the necessities; pacifier, favourite blankie, and water bottle. When he gets all of these things, he sets him properly onto the mattress, and undresses himself. With his chest exposed, he starts removing Jeongin’s shirt too. Jeongin barely notices what’s happening - his droopy eyes are the result from his breakdown.
Then, when he’s finally laying chest to chest, it’s when he fully quiets down. When Jeongin is a Little, he tends to slip into the early stages of a baby – so it’s not a surprise when Hyunjin sees him already with thumb inside his mouth. He gently removes it and replaces it with the pacifier. Jeongin’s eyes twitch for a moment, but when the older gives him his favourite and softest blanket to hold, Jeongin immediately shuts his eyes.
What Hyunjin loves the most is watching his Little fall asleep. The pacifier moves as it’s being suckled slowly in his mouth, but soon comes to a halt when Jeongin has found his way into dreamland.
He wakes up an hour later, still resting against Hyunjin’s chest. He still feels Little, with no worry in his mind. When he shifts a bit, it makes Hyunjin look down at him with a big smile.
“Hi babys” he calls, making Jeongin giggle softly. Jeongin loves the routine they both have, because it suits their lifestyles and personal preferences. When Hyunjin is done peppering the younger with kisses and raspberries, he lifts him up to his hip.
Walking them to the bathroom, he sets him down on the matt to make him change into a diaper.
Hyunjin praises him when they’re done, because, unlike other Littles, Jeongin is never fuzzy during changing. He simply lets himself get touched and cleaned and even babbles all happy.
A kiss to his forehead later, Hyunjin brings the younger to the kitchen to heat up the water. Then he proceeds to add formula and shake the bottle well.
“Is my baby ready to have dinner?” he asks cutely, to which Jeongin"s laugh erupts behind the pacifier. Hyunjin chuckles too, kissing him on his nose and cheek. He repeats the same sentence a few times, until he thinks to have shaken the bottle well enough.
Then, they settle down onto the couch, so that he can hold Jeongin better across his lap. Jeongin didn’t seem to have slept enough either way, so the bottle would help him get the sleepiness back.
Removing the pacifier for a moment, he whines and purses his lips at the loss. Hyunjin pouts and promises him he’ll feel better in just a few seconds.
“Open your mouth for me sweetheart” he encourages, and sets the bottle onto his lips. Jeongin soon understands what he’s supposed to do and starts drinking from it. He quickly goes and tries to grab the bottle with his two tiny hands by himself, even though he isn’t strong enough to do so.
Hyunjin rocks him and hums a melody as Jeongin slowly finishes the contents of the bottle. But before he even makes it to the half, his eyes already start to drop to closure.
When he’s asleep, he isn’t suckling anymore; his hands have fallen and holding the fabric of Hyunjin’s shirt weakly by his fingers. The older smiles down at him, feeling flames of warmth in his chest at the sight underneath.
“Sleep well my love” he mumbles, placing the bottle on the table and reaching out to brush Jeongin’s fringe away from his forehead. The younger makes a high-pitched sound, but it’s probably coming from a dream. Hyunjin can’t hold himself back from kissing his hair – he loves his baby so much.
And Jeongin loves his Hyunjin so much, too.