Chapter Text
'I want my dad.'
Apollo knew Euanthe (or Yuu, as they preferred) hadn't been calling out to him. Not intentionally, anyways. Proud as he was, even the great Phoebus Apollo, Slayer of Python and a hundred other titles, could admit that he'd never been the best parent for any of his kids. Not the worst either — he didn't make a habit of eating his kids or zapping them with lightning bolts.
But he never made a conscious effort to know his children other than the occasional obligatory blessing and answering of prayers. Most of them were gone within a few decades, just a blink for a god. It's really annoying when one of their old songs gets stuck in your head but you can't quite remember the lyrics so you go to check but, unlucky you, they're dead!
Still, on some level, Apollo loved all his children. It had just taken falling into a dumpster and being in a static flesh sack for six months to realize it.
Regret slapped him in the face counting the number of kids that he'd never be able to know. In retrospect, he'd have given anything to go back to the Apollo of a year ago and slap him in the face, consequences of temporal interference be damned.
No, wait, focus. He had a crowd and as they say, come hell or high water or the devastating realisation of your douchebaggery, the show must go on.
"Good weather we're having," He waved to the onlooking crowd. Yuu had pushed to the front, a grey cat on their shoulders with flames in its ears and sharp blue eyes. "I hope I'm not late!"
Outside, he was his typical godly self. Inside, Apollo was screaming.
This world didn't have Mist. That all-encompassing veil separating mystical and mundane. The mortals had seen his golden chariot and it took a conscious, split-second effort to hide the true divinity of his ride had saved the party from turning into a pile of ashes. Incinerating the parents and student population of the school (even if it was bizarrely hazardous and nearly killed his kid numerous times) was not on the agenda. It could have started a war between dimensions or, even worst, Yuu would have been mad at him.
He snapped his fingers and everyone went back to chatting away, as if nothing ever happened. Yuu looked like they couldn't tell whether he was a hallucination, jaw agape as they stared openly.
Apollo looked around the field of chatting parents and students, all sorts of folk from little old ladies to the mafia. He glanced down at his suit woven from literal gold threads. It was probably overkill. He'd changed into the first thing he could think of when Apollo thought of respectable formal-ish attire. This was better for a godly event like whenever Zeus' dress code was enforced. (Which, for the record, Poseidon never adhered to. The old man liked his Hawaiian shirts too much, to everyone's misery.)
Snapping his fingers again, the suit fell away in specks of golden dust. In its place, Apollo wore an orange Camp Half-Blood shirt with a spring green button-up jacket and khaki shorts. It was the type of thing his son, Will Solace, would have worn so Apollo figured it was acceptable mortal attire for your average, totally-not-a-god parent. Laurel vines settled on his hair, tying away the golden curls into a short ponytail.
"Lord Apollo?" Yuu's voice wavered, uncertain.
They had Elio Celeste's eyes, blue as the sky, and they most definitely inherited his freckles, which dotted their skin wildly like stars on a clear, not-contaminated-by-light-pollution night. Apollo almost melted at the cuteness; his kids were adorable. Aphrodite could take the pretty ones, Apollo had all the cute genes in the family.
He ignored the fact that gods did not, in fact, have genes.
Apollo channeled his Sun Godliness and outstretched his hands, wanting to pull them into the biggest bear hug and never let go. He held himself back, trying to look cool with his hands on his hips in a casual but friendly pose that he desperately hoped came off as approachable. "You can just call me Apollo. Or dad works too!"
He shot them finger guns. Arty, please shoot him.
Yuu stared like he'd grown a second head. Which, thank gods, he didn't actually do out of sheer stress. That would have been embarrassing.
"You don't have to," He added quickly. "But I wouldn't mind!"
"Dad," They said hesitantly. They waited a moment, eyes tracking him as if waiting for…something. A reaction, an attack? Apollo felt the urge to make a duplicate just so he could strangle himself. Because that was exactly how he looked at Zeus. When nothing happened, Yuu continued talking. "Dad, what are you doing here? How are you here even? And was that the Mist? Can you use Mist here?"
"I heard your prayer so I figured I'd show up," Apollo played it off casual-like. He's a cool dad. Totally. "And that wasn't Mist. Just some godly persuasion."
He made jazz hands (no, seriously, Arty, just shoot him) and smiled brightly, trying to be warm and assertive and not the internal wreck screaming inside.
Yuu was injured. They were wearing a long-sleeves button-up with a sloppy, striped tie and oversized uniform pants which covered most of everything. But Apollo was the God of Medicine and Plague and some flimsy fabric was hardly going to stop him from noticing.
His kid was covered in old wounds. A ring of thorn marks around their neck like collar, unnatural cracks of dehydration scarring their left arm, octopus suckers marked across their torso, snake bites on their wrist, residual poison in their lungs (oh goodie, something he could fix), lichtenburg figures on their hands which should have faded ages ago unless it was something of the godly level in which case who let his kid handle godly weapons?? That was the exact kind of thing that killed heroes.
He seriously needed to set up an appointment with Themis soon.
"Henchmen, who's this?" The cat on their shoulder, Grim, asked. It gave him a flat-eared, narrowed-eyes glare, fur raised and looking ready to pounce. The creature was about two feet tall and hardly intimidating, but it puffed up like a baby penguin, and Apollo could definitely see why half of Yuu's prayers had been incessant fangirling.
"This is Apollo," Yuu said. "My…dad. Dad, this is my partner and best friend, Grim. He can be a bit snarky but please don't smite him or anything."
Grim pawed at their cheek, sulking like Arty whenever Apollo would win their impromptu 'who can kill the most monsters with a single arrow' contests. "What'd you mean by that, henchman!? The Great Grim can easily take this guy!"
"You're free to try," Apollo said, showing off his divine aura like a solar flare. The cat-like creature hissed and backed away. This was absolutely not payback for that first heart attack of a prayer. Not at all. "Oh, is that one of your friends?"
He glanced over at the blonde bowman (the callouses beneath those white gloves told quite a bit) who had hopped down from his perch and joined them nearby. The student had a straight-cut blonde bob, feathered wide-brimmed hat and a purple vest under his blazer. Rook Hunt, described by Yuu as 'eccentric', was everything he'd heard and more. In another world, Apollo had no doubt the boy would be clear sighted, given how he hadn't even flinched when Apollo had used his godly persuasion and kept his gaze trained on the sun god.
The young man discreetly eyed Apollo like an archer would prey, tipping his hat in a bow that was filled with enough melodramatic flourish to rival Hollywood actors. "Bonjour, Monsieur. Might you be an acquaintance of our dear Prefect?"
He had taken a position in front of Yuu, as if shielding them from Apollo.
"You could say that," Apollo replied, nonchalant. He glanced over at Yuu, wanting them to have the initiative. If they didn't want to associate with him…well, he'd understand it. Even with his cursory knowledge of the situation, Apollo knew there were plenty of moments that he could have saved them from a world of pain.
It killed him that he couldn't.
"Rook, this is my dad," Yuu said. Apollo's heart fluttered at the moniker.
Their friend blinked incredulously, looking between them if he couldn't believe his ears. He didn't move from his protective stance. Then, he grinned, hooking his arm around Yuu's shoulder in a show of casual affection. "Tres bien, prefect! I had no idea your father would be available for this glorious day!"
"I didn't either," Yuu said, using the older boy as leverage to hide from Apollo's gaze. He tried not to take it personally. They were confused and scared, that's all. They didn't hate him yet. Probably.
He wondered if a magical, Shakespeare-talking arrow for their birthday would make things better or worst.
"Well, I simply must take advantage of l'opportunité to become acquainted with such a distinct individual," Rook cheered. His gaze pierced into Apollo, making him feel like the boy could make out every stray hair and imperfection in his perfectly sculpted, godly body.
Gods of Olympus, he was not going to be scared of a teenager.
"Wonderful! I'd be delighted to meet all your friends here, Yuu," Apollo said. Even if some of them had a bad habit of attempted murder, scamming or brainwashing (or some unholy combination of the three). Yes, Apollo was very much looking forward to it. "Their parents too. That is what the occasion calls for!"
Rook Hunt took that as incentive to usher him over to a secluded area near the archery range, happily chatting about music and films starring his favourite actors. Apollo learned more about Neige LeBlanche and Vil Schoenheit from that conversation than he ever needed. The sun god kept up his sunshine persona while keeping an eye on Yuu, who had slipped away, with a nearby raven. His sacred animals happening to be the mascot of this otherworldly Hogwarts-parody was either a blessing or a page straight from the cosmic joke book.
Diana Hunt, Rook's mother, reminded him of Arty with her no-nonsense attitude and competitive streak. She took one glance at his hands and grinned, razor sharp and vicious. "You're an archer, Mr. Celeste?"
"Just call me Apollo, please," He said. The woman had the same canary green eyes as her son, but her blonde hair was curled instead of straightened in a bob, and was tied up with rather sharp hair pins that could definitely be used to stab someone's eye out. "And yes, you could say that. Though I tend to dabble in other things as well."
Her husband, Arthur, nodded appreciatively. He was a bit shorter than his wife, with salt-and-pepper hair and a dashingly roguish face that had wisps of stubble like silver foxes on TV. "I'd be delighted to see how you compare to my dearest Diana in the range one day. But today is about the children! Rook has told me quite a bit about Yuu!"
"Good things," Diana added.
"That's nice," Apollo said, unsure what to add. He settled for materialising a drink of the finest grape juice (even with godly constitution he was not going to risk it. Not if his kid was on the line). High celebrity tip; always have a drink in hand for conversations. "They're quite the charmer, aren't they? Though, they inherited a lot more from Elio than myself."
"Elio?" Diana smiled, eyeing his drink like a hawk. "Is that their mother?"
"No, their father," Apollo sipped more grape juice.
"But…aren't you their father?"
"Yes, yes I am," Apollo said.
Diana stared for a second, before shrugging and moving on like no one's business. The woman continued the conversation, moving on to grades and club activities and all the updates that Rook had sent her over the year. Apollo was happy to share the same. Prayers were basically the same as getting letters from your kid, right?
At some point, Apollo had received the message from her continued pointed glances to his glass and snapped his fingers, letting her enjoy her own cup of grape juice.
Arthur was more like a grizzly bear to Diana's snake-in-the-grass attitude. The two had done the 'telepathically communicated with their eyes' thing when their son had ushered him over. They were distracting him and Apollo was more than happy to play into it if it meant his kid felt safer.
On the fields periphery, Yuu was sitting on a bench with their feline companion, only occasionally glancing in his direction. The crows (and himself) couldn't make out what they were saying as some friends of theirs approached. Unfortunately (or fortunately, Apollo wanted to make sure they were safe, not become their stalker), there was only so much godliness he could manifest in this world. Lest he attract some…unwanted attention.
After a while of chatting and gossiping with Arthur and Diana, a woman with unnaturally bright wine-red hair came to greet them whilst wearing the most hideous scowl on her sharp face. Everything about her was sharp actually. Sharp grey eyes, not unlike Athena's, sharply slicked bun with not a single loose strand and sharp attire; a rose-coloured blazer over a white button-up and equally red pencil skirt. Her stilettos looked sharp enough to kill a man.
And she was looking straight at him.
"You! You must be the Ramshackle Prefect's parent or so I hear," The woman pointed a perfectly clipped nail at him. No nail paint, filed down and polished with sanitiser. "Your child, Yuu, has been a horrible influence on my son!"
Her voice was gratingly shrill and she held enough defiance in her stance to almost rival Percy facing off against the gods (almost, because nothing could beat the sixteen-year-old who turned down immortality for child support of all things). Apollo tried to focus on that rather than the anger burning in his gut as she insulted his child.
Maybe he should turn her into a rose. No, that was too nice. A dolphin, maybe. Though that felt like inviting a copyright suit from Dionysus. His half-brother may be the God of Wine and Madness but by Olympus were his court-appearances…theatrical, for lack of a better word. (Dionysus claimed it was natural as he was the patron god of theatre, which was also ridiculous since Apollo was patron of the arts which should have included theatre and it had been an ongoing, millennia-old drama with no clear winners. The consensus was that Themis would throw all of them out of the courtroom if they didn't stop arguing.)
"Mother!" A young man ran up behind her, cheeks red from exhaustion. He had equally red hair and cloudy grey eyes that swirled with uncertainty. "What are you doing?"
"Not now, Riddle, dear," Her voice was sickeningly sweet addressing her child. Apollo shuddered. The woman reminded him of Hera and not on a good day. "The adults are talking."
She levelled Apollo a sharp glare.
He returned it.
Yuu had been contemplating their life choices leading up to that moment with Grim on their lap as the last anchor to sanity. Their partner purred like a lawnmower as they squished his flabby, furry body like play-doh. It was like grasping at really fluffy slime which was doing nothing to discourage the idea that cats were, in fact, a liquid.
The subject of their crisis was chatting animatedly across the field. His aura of sunshine was almost tangible as the sunlight seemed to grow ever brighter. A murder of crows settled ominously in the trees above them which was probably meant they were going to be killed in their sleep or something equally ominous.
Like most demigods, Yuu's relationship with their godly parent was nonexistent. The only time they'd seen him was for a one-off excursion to Mount Olympus during the Winter Solstice while they were ten-years-old. Not even a 'hey kiddos how's life been? Glad to see you're still alive!' was exchanged. He hadn't even checked in during the battle of the Labyrinth when Lee had died and hadn't mentioned a thing about Michael or the others that went MIA after the Manhattan debacle. He never even paid child support despite having access to nigh infinite money because he's a god. (And don't bring up the economic implications of making money from thin air; child support payments would not have tanked capitalism.)
So him just showing up casually, grand chariot reveal and all, snapping his fingers and getting whatever he wanted right at his divine fingertips…It was frustrating. Yuu wasn't an ungrateful child but it was hard to feel grateful for someone who'd never been there.
Their good buddy Jack Howl, taking advantage of their presence to escape his rowdy younger siblings using him as a jungle gym, came over with a box of pear juice. Having similar thoughts, Epel abandoned his meemaw Marja who was distracting Vil and his dad, Eric, with no doubt riveting tales of Epel's childhood. They could see her whipping out the childhood photo album from their little corner. He shoved Jack out of the way to hand over a box of premium-graded Harveston apple juice. It wasn't a particularly hard shove considering Epel was more than a few heads shorter than Jack, who was also built like a truck. The two had a momentary glaring contest, holding their juice boxes like battle axes.
Ortho cut between the stand-off, a glass of water in hand. "My scans how that your hydration levels have decreased, Prefect. It's very important to make sure to maintain proper levels when the sun is especially bright today."
Yuu stole a glance at their dad, chatting it up with Rook's parents, before taking the glass and downing it like a shot. "Thank you, Ortho."
"What's got you in a mood, Prefect?" Epel asked, before smiling wickedly. "We'll beat em' up for you."
Jack nodded, showing that he, too, was prepared to beat up the hypothetical cause of their gloom. "If you're willing to share, we'll do our best to help with your problem."
"Thanks guys," They ignored the implied violence of the offer, instead stealing the juice boxes. They stabbed the straws into both of them and drank from the two straws simultaneously. The barely hidden disgust on their friend's faces were 100% worth the psychopathy. "I think I'm just in shock."
The three shared a confused look but Yuu didn't feel like elaborating. Where would they even start? 'Hey, so my dad appeared in the courtyard a few minutes ago and brainwashed you to ignore his giant golden chariot with godly powers. Because yes, he's a god and that makes me half-god. No, I'm not immortal. It's actually quite a miracle I made it this far, I thought I'd die at twelve or something. Why didn't I say anything? It never came up.'
This could always be worst, Yuu reasoned. Their absentee father that had never even glanced at their direction suddenly appearing in a bout of godly might? At least it wasn't hellhounds raining from the sky.
No, they'd have preferred the hellhounds. Mrs O'Leary was such a delight.
"My henchman is in a bad mood cause of that guy!" Grim pointed his furry little paw at their dad chatting with Rook's parents and Mama Rosehearts who was looking increasingly red-in-the-face and about to explode like a tea kettle.
Apollo looked to be his usual sunny self, glowing with power even from a distance. He pretended to be human with his jacket and khakis and flip-flops but gods aways had a weakness in their disguise — they were always a little too perfect. No blemish or acne, Pinterest-worthy hair style, sculpted features right off a Greco-Roman sculpture and clothes slightly too neat and perfect.
Epel cracked his knuckles. "Who's that?"
"My dad."
"Your what?!"
Everyone shouted their own version of surprised. Even Ortho, usually one to roll with the punches, looked like he had a million questions. Yuu nodded miserably. They already had one headache to deal with and whatever quest that Apollo wanted from them — because why else would he be here? — could wait until Yuu had a full eight-recommended-hours of sleep (very rare nowadays).
"Wait, I'm confused," Jack said. "You're from another world. Like, not just a plane ride away or anything."
"Yep."
"Did Crowley find a way to bring him here?"
Yuu snorted. "You think the Crow would ever do something that nice?"
Jack, ever the teacher's pet, opened his mouth to protest before closing it knowing that they were 100% on the mark. The fact that no, Crowley would definitely not be competent or 'kind' enough to pull something like that off. Unless he was secretly a mastermind in which case they were still going to punch him right in the beak. One day. It was numero uno on their bucket list.
Every demigod had one — at least twenty things to do before they inevitably died climbing the lava wall or eaten by monsters or ticking off the wrong god. (There was a betting pool back at Camp for how Percy would die. Annabeth was the only one to put down 'never and/or old age'. They were all too scared to argue.)
"So, he just…showed up?" Epel looked between at Apollo and Yuu like his brain was frying, trying to put together the puzzle pieces.
Ortho made calculated beep-boops and mechanical noises. His golden eyes reflected strings of code. "Prefect, would you be willing to share some information about him? He could be an imposter for all we know!"
"Yeah, someone claiming to be your dad just appearing like that after so long? Feels fishy," Jack nodded.
"Totally sus," Epel said.
"He's just trying to take my henchman away!" Grim agreed.
Yuu sighed, stroking Grim's fur as they collected their thoughts. They'd never really told anyone about their past because a) no one ever asked and b) there were more pressing issues to deal with back then. Plus, their daddy issues and PTSD should have been talked through in a therapist's office and not with a group of teenage boys all too eager to sniff out weaknesses like a Satyr for enchiladas. Unfortunately, said therapist quit half-way through the year and Crowley thought outsourcing the service on account of one penniless, no-name student was outside budget considerations.
"His name is Apollo," Yuu said.
"Is he named after the sun god?" Ortho asked innocently.
"Not named after, no."
Their friends processed the information. Ortho seemed to get it first, looking starry-eyed and ready to launch into a flurry of questions. Then, it clicked into place like the final piece of the puzzle.
"Yer' dad's a GOD!?" Epel gaped, looking like he was waiting for them to say 'don't be ridiculous'. He'd be waiting a while.
"There's no way, right?" Jack reasoned. "The gods haven’t been around for nearly two hundred years."
Huh. Only two centuries? They'd had thought the Age of Gods would have been millennia ago or something. Maybe that was why Twisted Wonderland was so magically ingrained, with beastmen and merfolk and humans and magic abound like common knowledge. Then again, it could resulted from the nonexistence of the Mist, which usually obscured the peculiar from mortal eyes.
"That actually explains so much!" Ortho cheered. "When Idia and I sampled your blood—"
"You did what now."
"—we could only identify 50% of the sequencing, despite Styx' advanced methodology," Ortho looked at them like a particularly interesting science project. They could imagine him pulling out a scalpel feature from his artificial arm and tearing into their flesh like unwrapping a present. "At first, it was speculated to be related to the space-time anomaly which was your arrival in Twisted Wonderland. However, it's probable that the system couldn't recognise your genetic data based on available evidence as information about the gods is highly scarce and most of it is confidential under Olympus Corp."
"I'm struggling to process all that…" Jack muttered, embarrassed. "But basically there's something in their DNA right?"
"Gods don't have DNA," Yuu confirmed.
"Yer' really related to a god?!" Epel demanded. He coughed, sending a nervous glance at Vil to see if the actor's sixth sense caught on to his slip of the accent. "But seriously, Yuu, that's insane!"
"What's a god?" Grim asked. "Can I eat it?"
"No, Grim, you cannot eat a god. And don't even try," Yuu said. "I actually didn't know he was a god in your world. I'd figured there'd be different pantheons but with Styx and stuff, and this whole 'Age of Gods' deal, probably should have figured that out…"
They'd always been slow in class. ADHD and dyslexia didn't make for the best scholarly combination, unless you were an Athena kid (but that was like having a genetic cheat sheet). History was a nightmare for their dyslexic brain with all the readings and texts. At least Professor Trein had been kind enough to accommodate for them, knowing their needs, which was more than they could say about most of their teachers. Partially because half of which had been monsters in disguise. It was a weirdly popular profession for the demigod-eating monster demographic.
"Well, Gods do tend to defy human logic," Jack said. "So he could be the same guy."
"Actually," Ortho said. "That possibility is rather low. He doesn't match any depictions of the Apollo in the O.L.Y.M.P.U.S records, which have compiled all poems, epics and stories involving the pantheon since Styx' formation during the Age of Gods."
"But Gods can take any shape they want," Yuu, very reasonably, pointed out.
For some reason, the others looked dumbfounded by their remark.
"I guess that makes sense," Jack said slowly. "That kind of magic is highly regulated though."
"They're gods."
Jack sheepishly nodded. "Guess I never thought of it like that. Never heard about the gods shapeshifting. I guess there is this one story about the son of Zeus, Hercules—"
"Herakles," They corrected automatically. Hercules was the roman name.
"No, I'm pretty sure it's Hercules," Epel said. "Must be one of those differences, huh?"
"Guess so," Jack said. Yuu didn't agree nor did they disagree. It felt completely illogical for Herakles (or Hercules or whatever) to be Roman when everyone else was using their Greek names. Like they were purposefully excluding him from the club. "Well, apparently he changed completely when he shook the hand of the Underworld King and lost his powers. That's really the only story I've heard about changing their appearance and I don't think it matches."
"Yeah, it's more like when Vil got old in Styx," Epel said. The temperate lowered as he visible froze, like a harpy caught stealing from Mr D's forbidden wine collection (only forbidden for Mr D). Luckily, Epel wasn’t turned into a dolphin but he craned his neck to where Vil was giving him the evil eye, as if knowing he'd accidentally let the o-word slip. Epel laughed nervously, turning away and hiding his terrified face.
Yuu patted his back comfortingly and signaled for Vil to give them a minute.
"There's really nothing about shapeshifting?" Yuu asked.
Even Ortho shook his head. "Nothing in my catalogue indicates as such."
"Weird. Then what about the myths where Zeus turns into a golden shower or a goose to sleep with women?"
"He what??"
Epel gagged. "A goose?? How does that even work!?"
Yuu sensed delicious chaos. Like a fish on a hook, they were reeled. "Don't ask me. There's a bunch of artwork and stuff about it though. Renaissance artists really liked the imagery of naked ladies and Goose Zeus."
"What about the gold shower?" Jack looked as if he'd rather discuss anything but Goose Zeus. Which is fair. His cheeks were tinted red, with his tail swooshing nervously and his eyes unfocused like he was trying desperately not to think about Zeus as a Goose and his Goose-y antics with women. "How would that ever seduce a woman?"
"It didn't," Yuu said. "He did it anyways."
"But- but that’s…" Ortho's eyes swam with question marks as the robot processed the input.
They covered Grim's ears, ignoring the muted protests of their partner struggling to get free. He relented, eventually, and grumbled the bargain of tuna cans that they'd make sure to complete later.
"Rape? Yeah," Yuu shrugged. They could understand the horrified expressions that struck their friend's faces. But it was also hilarious seeing them deal with otherworldly culture shock every now and then.
With Greek Myths, it was just another day. Their papa had said, in explicit terms, that anyone who tried that with them could be gutted and thrown into the deepest stretches of Tartarus. Chiron, Annabeth and the older campers had made consent workshops mandatory since the Second Titan War which was sorely needed considering the attitude some of the more arrogant kids seemed to have. Those types of incidents were lower in modern demigods, according to Chiron, maybe due to more widespread knowledge, knowing that any self-respecting camper would resort to stabbing and mauling at dangerously impulsive rates (dessert privileges be damned) or the lack of free time with two wars at their doorstep. Plus, that kind of old thinking was beaten out of them in seconds by the angry nymphs running the workshop who had more than their fair deal of less-than-gentlemanly suitors.
"You guys must have the most boring myths if gods aren't running around sleeping with mortals as geese," Yuu concluded. "How'd 'Hercules' come to be if Zeus didn't shapeshift into Alcmene's missing husband and trick her into sleeping with him?"
"He did what," Jack wheezed, the air was leaving his lungs along with his faith in the nonexistent morality of the gods.
"Alcmene?" Ortho asked. "Hercules is the son of Zeus and Hera. Oh, but I think Alcmene was the name of a farmer who adopted Hercules with her husband, Amphitryon, after he fell from Olympus."
"Wow. Princess to farmer is certainly a downgrade. But good for Herc, not being an out-of-wedlock baby." Lucky bastard. Or well, he wouldn't be a bastard in this world, would he? Apparently, Twisted Wonderland Zeus wasn't a cheater who slept with anything possessing legs (his most defining character trait). "That probably means Hera didn't curse him with madness to kill his wife and two children, right?"
"Are ya' messin' with us?" Epel asked.
"The biometrics indicate that they are being truthful," Ortho said. If an android could look sick, Ortho was nailing it. "My current hypothesis is that the pantheons of our world reflect what is true in our societies, highlighting different beliefs and values. I believe you've mentioned that the gods are a less prominent force in your world which could mean that they are more fluid in the societal zeitgeist whereas our pantheon has been well-defined due to only recent lack of interference since the end of the Age of Gods."
"That sounds lame," Grim muttered.
"Essentially," Ortho continued, glaring petulantly at the disgruntled cat on their lap. "The differences in the myths of our worlds reflect the different values of the societies."
"That makes sense," Yuu said.
"How are ya' so casual about this?" Epel, still green in the face, levelled them a look. "If that's the case then, no offence Prefect, but your world is seriously messed up."
Yuu laughed with a touch of madness. "We haven't even gotten to the fun part!"
"A doctor?" Apollo laughed at Mrs Rosehearts' increasingly red face. The woman definitely had a circulation issue that he was not inclined to fix. "Oh, you're serious. Madame, you have the most egregious misunderstandings of human development that I have ever encountered in all my time, and believe me, that is a long time."
She opened her mouth to spit out a retort, probably cursing his name to the high heavens or something, but Apollo snapped his fingers. Her protests came out as bubbles. He didn't want to entertain her overly shrill voice or justifications. As much as he loved giving voice to the voiceless with poems and epics (see Euripides for some real masterclass work on that), Mrs Rosehearts had lost the privilege when she insulted his kid.
Was that petty? Probably. Was it bad that he completely ignored her credentials as a doctor by making jabs by calling her Mrs, thereby invalidating whatever degree she'd probably slaved over to earn? Again, probably. Did Apollo care? Hah!
"You said you specialised in Mages?" Apollo asked innocently. "It shows. Given how thoroughly unadjusted your son appears to be—no offence, Riddle, you seem quite lovely—both socially and mentally, as well as his stunted physical growth that was no doubt hindered by your strict rules."
"Oh, this is fun," Diana whispered to her husband in the back.
"I've never seen her so cowed before," Arthur said. "Or murderous."
"Not to mention," Apollo turned his attention to Riddle, who looked torn between running away and glaring back, gripping the magic pen in hand. Fight or flight response, not great. But doable. "How thoroughly uncourteous of you to barge in like that, insulting my child." Apollo's aura flared with sparks of divinity. He tamped it down. No need for the fireworks. He was saving that for a very special somebody. "While being completely flippant of your own. Though I hope there's never a next time for you, if you want to raise a child to be healthy and successful, I suggest hiring someone who specialises in child development rather than relying on your own, quite biased knowledge."
Mrs Rosehearts glared, affronted. It was like everything he'd said was folded into a paper plane that flew completely over her head. "You may be a talented mage—" Apollo wanted to cackle at that. "—but you're being completely obtuse about this situation. What would someone like you even know about medicine?"
Oh, the irony was beautiful.
Apollo sipped his grape juice. "More than you."
"Why you—"
"Mother!" Riddle's voice cut sternly. "It is almost time for our appointment."
Mrs Rosehearts nodded stiffly, fixing up her hair and straightening her jacket. She sent him one last glare, looking like she'd want nothing more than to curse his name but was stopping herself because she cared for things like image and propriety and it was almost laughable watching her harrumph as she turned and walked away. Apollo most certainly did not secretly curse her to fall over her stilettos or speak in couplets for the interview. That would be rude. Take that as his testimony if Madame Rosehearts tried to make some outlandish claims like such.
Riddle followed at her heels, casting a suspicious look back at Apollo, who continued to enjoy his grape juice. His eyes trailed to Yuu, talking to their friends, and back to Apollo. For some reason, the boy just looked exasperated.
"Didn't think you had that in you," Diana said. "I've never seen Dr Rosehearts so flustered before. Are you a doctor by trade? That was quite a passionate debate."
"You could say that. Though I prefer such things as poetry and song," Apollo downed his grape juice. The glass magically refilled itself. "My son, Asclepius, is definitely the doctor of the family though. He runs a quaint clinic and sees a ton of patients with all kinds of diseases."
"Is that so? You must be proud," Diana said.
Apollo smiled. "I'm proud of all my kids."
It didn't take long for Apollo to become distracted by his crows spotting a man with a dalmatian-spotted fur coat approaching his kid. Real Apollo glanced over, ignoring the knowing looks that Diana and Arthur exchanged, as they made themselves obscure. The two were certainly 'watch the show with popcorn' folk, like their son who had been dragged onto the archery field with his younger sister and yet still Apollo could feel the boy's eyes on him whenever his back was turned.
No, he was not scared of a child. He was just…unsettled. That's all.
Dalmatian-coat man was finely dressed in white, red and blacks on his fine suit, vest coat dress pants and shoes. He looked ready to walk the red carpet rather than attend a Parent-Teacher conference. There was a whip at his side, clipped to his belt hidden under the coat. Apollo didn't want to know why but he was also very curious as to why.
"You must be Yuu's father," The man said, tone skeptical and pointed like the sharp end of his whip. "I heard the news of your arrival from the ghosts."
Uh. What?
"You weren't listed on our official records," The man continued. "So I apologise for being unable to contact you. Your allocated time can start soon — which was meant to be my break, damn you Crowley — before I begin meeting with the second year students. My name is Divus Crewel, Yuu's homeroom teacher. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr Celeste."
Yuu flinched.
"My name is Apollo," He said. "Mr Celeste is my—" Husband? Ex-lover? What was the normal way to say one-night stand without making it weird?? "Partner."
"I see," Crewel said. He looked to the side where Yuu was tugging at his coat sleeves nervously and Apollo tried to ignore the arrow of jealousy that shot him through the heart. "Allow me to escort you to the meeting rooms. Or would you prefer a guided tour while we discuss Yuu's progress in school?"
Apollo glanced over at his kid. "Any preference?"
"No," Yuu said. Shoot. Apollo wasn't sure what to choose now. Being in a closed off space would probably make them uncomfortable but he didn't know if the other option would be equally awkward or— "If you want to see Night Raven College more, than the guided tour will probably be best."
"Then that’s decided," Apollo said, grinning with the light of the sun. Literally. He had to tone it down as Yuu tore their gaze away, hiding it in the other man's coat. "Lead the way, Mr Crewel."
Night Raven College was a lot bigger than Apollo had originally thought. It was no Olympus, but the campus was situated on a large mountainside with the main build, a gothic castle with multiple spires, standing near the mountain top in front of the seaside cliffs. Crewel had taken them on a scenic tour pass the main road across from the field and across the hall of mirrors and to the Botanical Gardens. The sight of the glass building in the distance had made Yuu glow with joy. Which meant Apollo obviously needed to see it.
The interior of the sub-tropical zone, as Crewel had called it, was a paved road with lots of sunlight streaming through the panels of the glass domed ceiling. All sorts of colourful flowers were arranged along the path; in hanging pots, elegant vases, along the fences and pathways and hanging in bushels from the trees. There was a small, artificial rivers snaking through the gardens, with bridges connecting the paved pathways.
He could certainly see why Yuu enjoyed the place. It had a calming scent, a mix of petrichor and florals, along with ample sunlight and no worry about wind or rain. It must have reminded them of Camp Half-Blood.
"Academically, Yuu isn't quite as strong as some of the other pups when it comes to history or literature," Crewel explained. The professor had an eccentric speech pattern that included a lot of dog terminology and Apollo could appreciate the dedication to aesthetics if nothing else. "But they're a quick study in potionology and musicology. As for linguistics, well, they can understand dolphins which, for the record, was not part of the curriculum but a commendable achievement nonetheless."
Apollo grinned. "I wouldn't expect anything less!"
Beside him, Yuu withered and he couldn't for the life of him figure out where he was messing up. Words of affirmation should have been his strong suit but his God of Poetry status was not being very useful. Apollo wondered if there was a way to swap it out for God of Good Parenting or God of Knowing How To Get Your Kids To Like You. If there was a god like that, it was probably Sally Jackson.
"Yes, well, aside from classes Yuu has had some struggles in socialising with students," Crewel said. "They've mostly adjusted over the course of the year, however, some hostilities have lingered."
"Oh?" Apollo's brow furrowed. Did he need to shoot someone? He had left his bow in the chariot but he could summon it back anytime.
"Addtionally, there have been quite a few incidents this past year concerning the Overblots; typically a rare condition manifesting from high levels of negative emotions or overuse of magic," Ah. The elephant in the room. "They've occurred with alarming frequency ever since Yuu has come to attend— "
"If you're implying that they had something to do with-"
"— Which has caused many potentially life threatening situations," Crewel continued blithely. "That have necessitated my involvement in a medical capacity as we are unable to administer them proper healthcare without a legal identity or guardian."
Apollo was confused.
"I adopted them," Crewel said.
Yuu grasped for their last brain working brain cell.
Crewel did what? That explained so many things. Especially the random 'Happy Adoption Day' chocolate-and-raspberry flavoured cake that Sam had given them out of the blue a few months ago. Grim had devoured it before Yuu could question the message they were too busy having an emotional breakdown because chocolate cake was their favourite.
Crewel had taken them out to a café the next day while making sure they had more clothes than 'raggedy old uniform'.
They looked to where Apollo was standing, a flurry of emotions passing through his face before landing on unsettling blankness. His aura flared, and they could feel the anger and hurt and they were not going to let him hurt their adopted dad now!
"That's why the healthcare people were so nice!" They laughed nervously. It came out like a strangled dolphin. "I was worried Crowley was going to complain about the bill but it never came."
"Universal healthcare is a standard," Crewel said. "Unlike some of the horror stories you've shared about your own world."
Ah yes, their twice weekly remedial sessions binging historical documentaries as Crewel marked papers, sometimes doing homework while exchanging tidbits of trivia and tea.. A surprisingly productive time that was only sometimes interrupted by their fire-breathing kitty and cauldrons falling out of the sky.
"Is that so?" Apollo's smile was sunny but Yuu got the image of thunderous solar winds hounding the atmosphere and ensuing droughts. "Well, I should thank you for making sure they got proper treatment. You have my gratitude."
"Hm. It was no trouble," Crewel patted their head. "Yuu is a remarkable youth who I have no doubt will grow into a fine adult. It was my pleasure to help nurture the pup."
Apollo's aura cooled, like a gentle summer breeze. Together, Yuu and Crewel relaxed as the tension of a potentially murderous god was eased. Not all of them could be Persassy Jackson, loading up sarcasm to punt at unsuspecting gods and getting away with it.
"I'm glad we agree."
There was something about this expression, the gentleness and dimples and softened golden eyes and signs of crow's feet showing the age and wisdom of the thousands-years-old god, that felt genuine. Almost — dare they say it — paternal.
"Good," Crewel said. He glanced towards his custom watch with puppy prints before patting their head again, straightening out their messed-up curls that they'd been gripping at in their frustration. "Our meeting time is nearly up. Do you have any questions?"
Apollo glanced at Yuu. "Are you happy here?"
"I…" Was that a trick question? What was the correct answer? "I am."
"Then that's all I need to know," Apollo said. "Now then, I don't suppose you could point me to the headmaster, or Headmage, as I hear you prefer?"
Her dad was grinning, not in the sun god way either, but like Mr D in an intense bout of Pinocle with a dirty trick up his sleeve. Horrifyingly, Crewel had the same expression.
Their homeroom teacher, and adopted father now (brain still not processing), pulled a paper out of his pocket and handed it over to Apollo. Professor Crewel sported the same nasty grin as when they'd been at Camp Vargas running for their lives and he had dressed up as an alien monster to scare the living daylights out of everyone.
"The Headmage shouldn't have any appointments at the moment," Crewel said. "Use this to enter if anyone tries to stop you."
"Much obliged," Apollo tucked the paper into his jacket pocket.
Well, Yuu reasoned that no one had been smote and their dad seemed like he was in a not-smiting mood. So all in all, it had been a successful parent-teacher interview with their up-until-now absentee godly parent and adopted father from another world (a sentence that gave them an aneurism just recounting).
Before Yuu could say anything to Crewel like 'thank you so much for giving me proper healthcare' or 'should I call you dad now' or anything of the sort, Apollo snapped his fingers. The garden tiles fell away in a shower of light (not the Zeus impregnating kind) and golden sand swirled, restructuring itself into a hallway at the entrance of the Headmage's office. Motion sickness hit them like a truck.
Yuu keeled over, feeling like they were dream hopping all over again.
"I'm so sorry!" Apollo's hand was firm on their shoulder. The nausea alleviated in seconds, replaced by warmth flooding their body. Yuu felt cold when their dad's dad retracted. "I forgot how taxing that can be for demigods."
"Think you can teach me that sometime?" They asked.
Apollo hummed thoughtfully. "Why not? Light travel would come in pretty handy."
"Wait, seriously?"
The doors flew open before their dad could respond.
Headmage Crowley looked like he fought a crow and lost. His suit was covered in scratches and feathers, his mask covered in peck marks and missing its own feathers, his hat nowhere to be seen and his black hair was a bird's nest that looked like it'd been pelted with pebbles, twigs and even more black feathers. From the windows above, they could spot black wings fluttering out of the office. Maybe a stray crow had found its way in.
Suspiciously, Apollo sported a 'cat that got the canary' sort of smugness as he extended his hand in courtesy.
"You must be the Headmage!" Light radiated from Apollo's body. "I've been wanting to talk to you. About my kid."
The Headmage's beady gold eyes blinked incredulously behind his mask. They stared at Apollo, then down to Yuu, who was about ready to be done with the situation and call it a night. Crowley quirked his head like a bird, as if trying to see the situation from a different angle.
The two shook hands awkwardly.
"I see?" The Headmage whipped out his magic staff, casting a spell that fixed his hair and office as he marched back to the desk and acted like nothing was out of the ordinary. He threw his hands up and cheered. "How may I be of assistance? The prefect appeared in quite the state of disarray—" Because they'd just escaped a battle field. "— it was only my kind nature that encouraged me to take them in!"
Yuu wanted to scoff. Yeah, right. Kind nature? The Headmage had probably seen dollar signs the second a magicless, nameless, identity-less fourteen-year-old from another world fell out of his blasted coffins.
"Is that what happened?" The room was warm and unusually bright, sunlight streaking harshly through the windows.
"Why, of course! Yuu has proven themselves to be quite the beast tamer, encouraging the students to work together and making a place for themselves in this institution!" Crowley cheered. "They've certainly had their fair share of trouble making tendencies but in all my magnanimity I've turned a blind eye! Certainly, the Prefect wouldn't have gotten far without my— Oh my sevens! FIRE!!"
The window curtains of the Headmage's office had caught ablaze during his rant. Crowley quickly conjured a water spell with his staff, gathering power and shooting it like a geyser. He laughed nervously as the fire subsided.
Apollo continued to smile.
There was no way he hadn't had something to do with the spontaneous arson. But why?
"Crewel has already told me quite a few of their achievements," Apollo said, his hand resting on Yuu's shoulder. It was uncomfortably warm and tight. "No, I have other matters I wanted to discuss with you, Headmage."
There was an edge to his voice. Like a blade that you really didn't want to be on the pointy end of.
"Dad—"
"How about you go play with your friends?" Apollo said blithely. An anemoi— wind spirit, for the uninitiated — materialised from nowhere in a vaguely horse shape and gently picked them up, taking them out of the room. It vanished in with a 'pop' as they fell to the floor.
The doors closed behind them with an ominous creeeakkk. Last thing they saw was Crowley's shocked, 'what have I gotten myself into' expression and Apollo's casual wave goodbye.
Some part of Yuu was vindictive enough to enjoy the Headmage's torment. The rest was just confused. What was Apollo trying to accomplish here? Was he the reason they ended up in Twisted Wonderland? And why now? Why appear now when everything was over and they'd already crawled up from the depths of Tartarus (manmade edition) and didn't need his help anymore?
Yuu had been content.
Now, they were just— frustrated. Angry, almost. Gods were just insufferable.
Minutes felt like hours as Yuu very casually eavesdropped pass the door. ADHD meant that they really didn't have the bandwidth to retain everything or not be distracted by passing ghosts but Apollo wasn't exactly the quiet or subtle type. He was arguing with Crowley, for them (supposedly). Even dropping in lawyer speak that was critically effective against the Headmage.
"You know, there were a lot of things happening this past year," Apollo said from behind the doors. "In the mortal world, in Olympus. Imagine my surprise when one of my children appears in another world. At your institution no less. Now, normally this wouldn't be a problem—"
It wouldn’t?
"—Rifts happen all the time! It could have been an easy accident to fix. Just your average portal!"
"Well, uh, sir," Crowley's voice was stuttering and wheezing, like he was suffering a heatstroke. "That type of magic would be—"
"Section 19, Aisle 49. The third book on the top shelf," Apollo stated. "The forbidden library section—" They had those?? "—where you, as Headmage, have complete access to a spell that could have easily fixed the situation. Instead, you allowed my child to remain in this world and handle the crises that arose as a response to the fallible systems and symbols you've built your institution on. They could have died several times, as I hear. And you did nothing for them."
"Now, that's simply not true. I, um, err….waived their tuition fee!"
Yuu was glad that Apollo kept talking because they sure as heck wasn't about to entertain that sort of nonsense. Sure, they were accepted into a high school—ADHD, dyslexia and trouble magnet tendencies aside—on scholarship (that Crowley had just made up on the spot, let's be real) which was a miracle in and of itself for a demigod. But that was it. And it was a total rip-off! They didn't even count as a whole student.
Besides, Crowley had given them the bare minimum living allowance in exchange for just-under-the-legal-limit of errands and jobs they were doing around school. Yuu hadn't even been able to join a club since they seemed to be needed everywhere at once (seriously, most of the time it was to break up fights or make sure that a prank war didn't go too far, which happened a little too much at this school).
"Let me be clear," The doorframe became unbearably hot as Yuu tore their hand away, skin sizzling. "Yuu likes this school and their friends. But if I hear of another accident where their safety, food, comfort, shelter or anything else is jeopardized due to your incompetence…then the future won't look very bright for you."
It was a lame threat that sounded like it belonged to an edgy teenager. Until you consider that Apollo was the God of Prophecy and when he says your future wasn't bright that could mean a lot of things—being thrown into a hole and never seeing the light of day again, dead, future career prospects down the drain, really dead, being trapped in paperwork forever and never touching grass again, super very dead. Oracles were finnicky like that.
The Delphic Oracle, Yuu remembered, was an attic mummy spewing the most nonsensical poems that only make sense in retrospect and just caused anxiety of 'world's-horniest-idiots-(minus Hades)-make-pact-to-not-impregnate-mortals-to-not-end-the-world' proportions (spoiler: they failed). The new oracle, Rachel Elizabeth Dare, was a delight. She received honorary Child of Apollo status following the Titan War and could hang out at Cabin Seven whenever she wasn't painting in her oracular cavern.
Silence ensued. They could vaguely make out more chatting in the room, but it was muffled by the half-melted entranceway.
The doors opened again, Apollo walking out casually in his casual flip-flops and Camp shirt, radiating sunlight like a beacon. His grin widened when he spotted them, casually standing in the empty hallway.
"Yuu—"
"What do you want?" They demanded.
Apollo had the audacity to look confused.
"Is this a favor? Or did you need a quest?" They continued. "Now isn't the best time for one so maybe you could outsource it to Percy—"
"I don't need a quest!" Their dad said. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
Yuu deflated. "Why?"
"Why…what?"
"Why are you doing this?" They clarified. "You've never— this is so out of character— What's going on?"
A hundred scenarios flashed through their brain. Each worst than the last, and certainly not getting better.
Their vision blurred black around the edges like a vignette on a camera frame. Air left their lungs like an express way had opened up, and they were desperately trying to corral it back. Yuu's hands were shivering, making it hard to find their Camp necklace (five or so beads in total, showing half a decade of their life) or Nisiotika— the enchanted bow hidden as a ring they'd inherited from Lee Fletcher.
Apollo's hand reached out to them.
They ran away.
Great job Apollo! You messed up.
Apollo stared at the retreating form of his kid jumping out the window and if gods could have heart attacks, he would have dropped dead. In a burst of golden light, he reached the window's edge and sighed in relief knowing they were not a mangled body but had instead taken to roof-hopping over the spires. They did so with the practiced ease of a regular lava-wall climber.
As Apollo had seen and heard about their experiences at Night Raven College, some part of him retreated. Only the shell of Phoebus Apollo—the godly version; arrogant and powerful—remained to enact the righteous vengeance he wanted. In doing so, he completely forgot the most important factor. Yuu.
A mortal demigod. A child. His child.
When he'd turned mortal and sought the help of demigods to fix his problems, like always, he had sauntered up to the door of Percy Jackson in downtown New York. The demigod hadn't knelt at his feet or thrown a parade, he was the type to give it straight; the gods sucked.
As parents, as patrons, as lovers. They were volatile and self-obsessed and rarely if ever paid attention to the people they 'helped'. Maybe that was why his ex, Caesar Marcus Aurelius Commodus Antoninus Augustus (Commodus for short), had turned into a power mongering tyrant immortal after Apollo drowned him in a bathtub. Others too, he admitted, were victim of Phoebus Apollo's goddy ineptitude with humans. His love life was a wild mix of crazy lovers and plants.
Yuu had stopped on a balcony on another tower, catching their breath. It was all too easy for Apollo to shift into a bird — a hawk this time, he'd had enough of crows and ravens — and land nearby.
He couldn't do this. Apollo had no idea what he was doing. He took a deep, hawkish breath and exhaled slowly.
Instead of the mighty Phoebus Apollo, he showed them the form he was most comfortable with. A flabby, acne-ridden teenager with curly brown hair and lanky limbs that looked like he could've fallen over crying at the slightest inconvenience.
Yuu startled at his appearance, looking like they were debating the survivability of jumping off the balcony.
"My name is Lester Papadopoulos," He said. "Six months ago, I fell into a dumpster."