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Minho is severely regretting the decisions that led him to his current circumstances.
See, Jeongin wanted to go to this local bar's karaoke night. And Felix was quick to agree, because the guy who tends bar/owns the place is "destined to be the father of his children" (Felix's words, not Minho's). It wasn't long before Seungmin agreed, quick to fold when Felix offered to pay for his drinks (a foolish offer on Felix's part, as Seungmin is deceptively good at drinking any of them under the table).
So then Minho was the last one standing. Unfortunately, all it took was one please, hyung? from Jeongin to have him agreeing to tag along.
Which is why Minho is now sitting in the dimly lit main room of 3RACHA, watching a tipsy Seungmin and Jeongin alternate lines in the duet they're singing right now. Felix is at the bar; he took one look at the bartender's arms protruding from the sleeveless tank he was wearing and declared that someone was getting pregnant tonight.
(Minho isn't sure which one of them is getting pregnant, but he definitely didn't want to ask for clarification.)
Everyone is having a good time. Everyone except for Minho, who cannot fucking stand this goddamn karaoke night host in an insufferably loud Hawaiian shirt. If this guy says "swag" one more time, Minho might commit a crime in front of all of these witnesses.
Jeongin and Seungmin finish their song, and the annoying host comes back on stage saying, "AYYYYOOO SKRRRRRRR , these guys crushed it! Epic sauce to an ultimate level of swag!"
Minho is white-knuckling the table. If he was a little less restrained, he'd have thrown a punch by now. He's still quietly seething when Jeongin and Seungmin return to the table.
"Hyung, are you gonna sing?" Seungmin asks, clearly trying to get Minho to agree to up there and make a fool of himself. It's not that he's a bad singer, but he would certainly be embarrassed when he started choking out the host mid-song.
He's about to reply as much when Felix says, "Probably not, but I am."
Minho doesn't know when Felix got back to the table. But just as quickly as he returned, he's gone, walking towards the stage ready to perform.
Felix proceeds to give the sluttiest possible performance of 28 Reasons by Seulgi. Minho is 90% sure he sang "I kiss the owner" as the opening line to the song, clearly trying to make it obvious to the guy behind the bar that he was down to clown.
When the host comes back up on stage afterwards, he pretends to get burned when he grabs the mic. "Damn! That was hot , am I right guys? I know Chan agrees!" He wiggles his eyebrows and sends a glance towards the bar.
Exasperated, Minho checks his watch and is pleased to see that it's 9:58. Thankfully, karaoke ends at 10PM. The host says his insufferable goodbyes, all while Minho feels like a captive audience member for a shitty stand-up open mic. But then he's finally gone, walking off stage as the spotlight goes out and the bar returns to a normal environment.
"Want another drink?" Seungmin asks. "Felix is paying, and since he's already back at the bar, I'm sure he's ready with his credit card."
Minho muses for a moment. "Sure, get me another appletini."
"Gay ass drink," Seungmin mutters, and as he walks away, Minho flips him off.
It's just Jeongin and Minho now. "Hyung, I can't believe you didn't sing. Now you have to come next week."
"Nope. Not happening," Minho answers simply.
Jeongin pouts. "But it's my birthday next Thursday!"
"Jeongin, it's September."
"Maybe I lied and my birthday is really in September. Maybe it's all been a long con just so I could get you to come to this one karaoke night."
Minho hums in mock amusement. He's still a little irritated by the unbearable host, so he's having a hard time entertaining his friend right now.
"Fine, you suck. I'm going to the bathroom."
Finally some goddamn peace and quiet.
And then someone slides into the seat next to Minho. "I was really hoping you'd join your friends up there, you know."
It is at that tragic moment that Minho discovers the fucking host from before is sitting next to him, trying to strike up a conversation. It's even more tragic when he processes that this guy is actually stunning up close. (He had spent the night convincing himself that his eyes were tricking him when he thought the guy was beautiful while on stage.)
Minho gives him an uninterested look, hoping to silence all future discussion. But this guy cannot take a fucking hint, apparently.
"Not much of a talker, huh? That's alright, I can talk enough for the both of us."
Yeah, that's for fucking sure! Minho thinks. He stays quiet, though.
"Well, I'm Jisung. And you are…?"
Minho stares at him silently.
"Alright, I'll call you… Cute Nose. 'Cause you have a cute nose. Did you know you have an adorable little mole right on the tip? Well, obviously you knew that, because it's your nose. I have a cheek mole. Do you think when we kissed, our moles would touch? Probably not, since mine is so far over. You'd have to have a Pinocchio nose for that to happen. Which I'd still be okay with, by the way."
The host, Jisung , stops talking for a moment, giving Minho a chance to chime in. Minho does not take this chance.
"Okay. Well, is it your first time here? I feel like I'd remember seeing you before. In fact, I'm pretty confident that I would remember seeing you before. But I'm glad you found your way here. I'm guessing Felix brought you along. He's been here quite a lot recently. If I hear Chan wax poetic about the sunshine guy with all the freckles one more time I'm going to quit, I think."
Wouldn't that be delightful , Minho thinks. He still keeps his mouth shut, though.
"Really not a words guy, huh? Well, I'll keep it going. I host this every Thursday. And on Tuesdays we have an open mic where I host and also perform. I play guitar and sing original songs. I think my song next week is going to be about the most beautiful guy I've ever seen, and how he didn't even tell me his name but I'm sure we're soulmates."
"If you're my soulmate then I guess I'm gonna be celibate for the rest of my life," Minho finally says.
"And he speaks! A beautiful voice, too. If your voice was a soup, I would slurp it up so fast."
"That's a stupid fucking thing to say," Minho replies. He's admittedly being a little harsh, but this guy is annoying and won't leave. What's the point of having a beautiful face if the worst thing ever happens whenever you open your mouth?
Minho does feel a little bad when Jisung looks dejected at that comment.
"Sorry. I, uh, guess I should take the hint. Nice to meet you, Cute Nose," Jisung says, miming tipping an invisible hat and quietly shuffling away from the table.
"That was rude," Jeongin says immediately. Minho doesn't know how long he's been standing there, but he's kind of right.
"Well, it was a stupid thing to say. And he was annoying me."
"He was just being nice! And flirting with you, but in a nice way!"
It's at that moment that Seungmin returns with Minho's appletini. "Someone was flirting with Minho?"
"Yeah, Jisung, the host. And Minho was mean to him."
"Damn, I can't believe I missed it," Seungmin says with a smile.
"You both suck. Jisung seems like a nice guy! He didn't deserve Minho's snarky response."
Minho rolls his eyes. "I think he did, because he was really driving me nuts."
But Minho can't help but feel like he was a little too mean, especially when he catches a glimpse of Jisung sitting in the corner at the bar, drinking alone while looking a little bummed out.
♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ.
Jisung is approaching the bar the next day when he hears Chan and Changbin talking.
"We can't show this to him. He was actually kinda sad last night when the guy shut him down. This will crush him."
"Yeah, but maybe it will make him realize the guy is just an asshole who doesn't deserve him."
"Can't show what to whot?" Jisung interrupts, though he's pretty sure the who is himself.
"Uh, we got a new Yelp review last night."
Jisung is a little confused as to what this has to do with him. "Okay?"
"It mentions you."
"Oh, let me see, then." Jisung reaches for Chan's laptop.
"Okay, but just know this guy is a certifiable asshole and we hate him."
At first glance, it's a five star review, so Jisung doesn't understand why they're acting like he's about to get his feelings hurt. But then he reads what user LeeKnow has to say.
LeeKnow ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
Incredible staff. Great vibes. Great bar. The guy who hosts Karaoke on Thursdays is a monster who should be fired. Terrible human being. Sad individual.
And, well. Yeah, their actions make sense now. Especially when he glances at the user image and recognizes it as Cute Nose from last night.
"Alright, well. That's okay. I'm just not his cup of tea. It's whatever."
He's probably going to cry in the bathroom in five minutes, but really, it's whatever.
"Sung, don't take it to heart. That guy was clearly just a jerk."
"I've never been double rejected through a Yelp review before. This is crazy, ha ha." Jisung can tell that Chan and Changbin know he's trying to play it cool, but that he's pretty affected. It's embarrassing as hell.
"I'm gonna beat his ass if he ever tries to show his face here again, mark my words. I'm taking him straight to pound town," Changbin says.
“That is definitely not what that means, bro,” Chan says. Jisung at least gets a little laugh out of it; maybe that was Changbin's intention.
Jisung laughs. "You don't have to do that, Binnie. But thanks for the support. Anyway, I'll be back in a few."
He feels like the cat from the you can no haz cheezburger meme right now. Dejected, alone, completely abandoned with nothing to live for. And yeah, he's being a little dramatic about it, but still. The guy was really cute.
Walking into the bathroom, Jisung stares at himself in the mirror. "You will not be a little bitch about this," he says, pointing at his reflection. He's tearing up a little, though.
The door behind him opens, and he jolts in surprise. He expects Chan, maybe Changbin, but instead is greeted with Hyunjin.
"Oh, I didn't know you were here," Jisung says, wiping at his eyes.
"Yeah, I just got here. And I was filled in on this giant asshole's actions. I wanted to come check on you."
"I'll be alright," Jisung says honestly. "Just a little bummed right now, but it's clear he kind of sucks, so."
" Kind of sucks? He really fucking sucks. If Changbin doesn't put him in a headlock the next time he's here, I'll break off the engagement. I'm serious, too."
"You could just put him in a headlock yourself?"
"I'm not the bouncer. I'm here to look pretty and trick people into buying more drinks. To balance out Chan's whole buff muscle soft guy aesthetic with my striking model-esque looks."
"I see you're still humble as ever," Jisung jokes.
"Why would I be humble when I've been given this face?"
"Fair point. Though that seems like something mean review guy would say, so…"
"Do not ever imply I am anything like him. That's unforgivable. He's clearly the worst ever."
Jisung shrugs. "Well, he's friends with Felix, so how bad can he really be?"
"Don't do that. Don't defend him, even subtly like that. I hate him and you should too."
Nodding, Jisung decides to agree. "Okay, I hate him. He's my least favorite person ever. I hope he never smiles again."
"That's more like it! Now let's go back out there before Chan starts crying from how worried he is about you."
Jisung does not last long hating Yelp user LeeKnow. He lasts until Tuesday, when he's on stage presenting the open mic night, and catches sight of him in the audience.
He wonders why the guy came, since he supposedly hates Jisung. Plus, he looks kind of miserable in the audience right now. Unfortunately, his misery also makes him look really cute and grumpy. Jisung wants to kiss him on the mouth. Hyunjin can never find out he's so weak-willed when it comes to a cute guy.
Jisung had seen Felix at the bar a few minutes earlier, so he's guessing LeeKnow tagged along with him. Again, Jisung has no idea why, since this entire experience seems to be so insufferable for him, but that doesn't seem to matter. Because LeeKnow is here in the audience, glaring up at Jisung on stage. (Jisung is only kind of aroused.)
It's after Jisung introduces the first performer and makes his way off stage that he notices Changbin hovering nearby LeeKnow. Hovering like he's about to suplex LeeKnow to hell and back. Jisung tries to make eye contact with him, to shake his head and tell him not to do anything, but then he watches in horror as Changbin approaches the table.
Jisung springs into action, hoping to head off this potential conflict, but he's not quick enough. He's still too far away from the table when he sees Changbin lean in and say something to LeeKnow, who, in return, seems thoroughly peeved. He somehow gets even grumpier (and maybe also cuter?), pulling away from Changbin and saying something presumably snarky back.
And then Changbin is wrapping his hands around LeeKnow's arm and yanking him out of the seat. He starts to lead him outside, Jisung in tow. Somewhere along the way, Felix started following, too, so now the four of them are standing outside in the alley.
"You've got a lot of nerve showing back up here," Changbin says, as if he's straight out of some cliché movie. He's very intimidating, at least to those who haven't seen his collection of pink plushies in his bedroom.
"What do you mean? I'm just a patron frequenting this fine establishment."
"You're just an asshole being a bitch to the nicest guy ever, actually," Changbin snaps back. Jisung blushes a little in embarrassment.
LeeKnow trails his eyes over to Jisung, his voice deadpan as he says, "I'm sorry for rejecting you. I did not realize that meant I wasn't allowed to come back here."
"Minho…" Felix says apprehensively. "Don't make things worse. You're an acquired taste, too."
Minho is a nice name, Jisung thinks. He pointedly ignores the “too” tacked onto the end of Felix's sentence, implying that Jisung is an acquired taste. Even though it's true.
"Well, Minho, " Changbin all but spits, "You are not welcome in our fine establishment if you're going to be such a fucking asshole all the time."
"Look–" Minho starts, but Jisung interrupts before this argument can get even bigger.
"It's fine, Changbin. He can come here. I don't care."
"See? Even the weird soup comment host guy admits it's fine if I'm here," Minho says, throwing his hands up.
Changbin narrows his eyes. "Hey, you don't get to call him weird. He's wonderfully weird, but you don't get to say that if you don't mean it nicely."
"Geez, didn't realize the karaoke night host had shooters like this."
By all accounts, Jisung should hate this guy, this Minho. He really does seem like an asshole. But there's just… something about him. Something that he can't help but be attracted to, tragically. He can't say anything about that, though, or else Changbin will probably snap the guy's neck out of pure spite.
Jisung sighs. "Guys, it's alright. Let's just leave it alone. As long as he's not harassing anyone or whatever, there's no reason to ban him from the bar."
"I promise I'll do my best to keep him in check," Felix says, glaring at Minho.
♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ.
Felix drags Minho into the bathroom as soon as their outdoor conversation has ended.
“Why do you always have to start shit? You're worse than Seungmin.”
“I'm telling him you said that. He'll be so mad you implied that he's not the best at starting random beef by being annoying.”
Felix rolls his eyes. “The difference is that when Seungmin does it, he's not being mean. He's just doing it for the bit. Jisung is a really nice guy and you're just hurting his feelings for no good reason.”
“He shouldn't be so irritating if he doesn't want me to be mean to him,” Minho says with a shrug, checking his hair in the mirror so that he doesn't have to look into Felix's disappointed eyes.
“You know I'm not stupid, right?” Felix says, and after Minho refuses to reply, he continues, “I know you're mad that you find him cute and charming. That you want to ask him out. And that you are pissed at yourself for burning that bridge before you could realize you wanted to cross it.”
Minho narrows his eyes and looks at Felix through the mirror. “You know nothing, Lee Felix.”
“For someone who claims to find the guy so annoying, it's just kind of suspicious that you're back here with me so soon. On a night you knew he would be up on stage again. I'm just saying.”
“I hope Chan likes only vanilla sex and finds your daddy kink weird,” Minho snaps back. A low blow, but a necessary one.
Felix gasps, partially fake but definitely a little real. “You take that back. That was cruel.”
Minho does his best maniacal laugh before exiting the restroom. He makes a pit stop at the bar to grab another appletini (he's a man with taste), and then returns to his table.
Unfortunately, he spends the rest of the night trying (and failing) to keep his eyes off of Jisung. It's easy to play off when Jisung's on stage, because where else is he going to look? But then Jisung walks offstage to the corner where he's seated, and Minho can't help but follow him with his eyes. He's pretty sure Jisung catches him staring more than once, especially once Minho has downed his fourth appletini of the night and is no longer remotely subtle in his glances.
Minho stays irritated by Jisung's stupid stage presence. He's annoying as hell. And also electrifyingly magnetic. And also drop dead gorgeous. Minho is having a bit of a crisis.
It only gets worse when the open mic comes to a close and Jisung sits himself on the stool in the center of the stage, guitar in lap. He starts up with the most beautiful acoustic melody, and Minho is all but done for the minute Jisung opens his mouth and starts to sing.
His voice is… enchanting. Hauntingly beautiful. Minho is struck with a load of guilt for how horribly he's treated this guy, because now he's pretty sure he's also a little bit in love with him. Or with his singing voice, at least.
But then the song ends and Jisung speaks again, and Minho is reminded of just how fucking annoying the guy is.
“Alright fellas! That's all for tonight! Hope you guys have a sexy rest of your week and join us again next time for more local talent, hosted by yours truly!”
Their eyes meet as Jisung sticks the microphone back into the stand, and Minho is quick to look away. His inhibitions are lowered and if he's not careful, he'll find himself on his knees for this guy by the end of the night. But that would be crazy behavior, so instead Minho tells Felix he's heading home and stumbles his way into an Uber.
♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ.
Jisung is making coffee the next morning when a bed-headed Felix pads his way into the kitchen.
“Damn, getting laid on a Tuesday night, huh?” Jisung says, and then he remembers he doesn't really know this guy. “Sorry. Do we know each other well enough for me to have made that joke?”
“Eh, I fucked your roommate, eventually my roommate will probably get his head out of his ass and admit he wants to fuck you, so I think we're some sort of weird brother-in-laws.”
“Who is your roommate and why does he want to fuck me?” Jisung asks, amused. Unfortunately, he's taking a sip of freshly brewed hot coffee when Felix casually drops, “Minho, that asshole from the bar.”
Jisung chokes a bit. “Minho wants to fuck me?” He's too shocked to be embarrassed about how desperately intrigued he sounds.
“Oh, definitely. You're just his type. Weird, cute, definitely able to rise to his level of annoyingness. You guys are a match made in heaven for each other, hell for the rest of us. Unfortunately, Minho can also be a bit of a jackass with no filter who doesn't like to be wrong, which means he's doubling down on this whole hating you thing instead of admitting to the fact that he's probably already realized you're his actual soulmate.”
Jisung tries to take this all in, but he's only been awake for about fifteen minutes and this is a lot of information to receive so early in his day.
“Sorry, I shouldn't have said all that. You probably hate him, rightfully so, since he's been such a grade-A bitch to you from the start. Ignore everything I just said.”
Well. Jisung really, really wishes he could ignore that. He really wishes he could stop picturing their inevitable wedding. Would Minho want a Spring ceremony? Or maybe Fall… they'll have plenty of time to figure this out, probably.
It's then that Chan joins them in the kitchen, kissing the top of Felix's head in a nauseating show of domesticity.
“Hold on, and pardon how frank I'm being because I've just woken up and also had my mind blown, but are you guys, like, dating now? Or are you just sleeping together? Was this the first time you've slept together? You guys seem way too comfortable for that. What's going on here?”
“Damn, let a guy get his coffee first,” Chan grumbles, but before he even pours a cup he answers, “We're dating. We went out over the weekend for the first time outside the bar.”
“He fucked me brainless afterwards, dude. Like, I was ready to look up wedding rings. It was that good. His dick is, like, huge. Hits every spot perfectly.”
Chan smiles into his cup of coffee, and Jisung wants to die a little. “I did not need to know that about him. I suddenly hate this relationship.”
“No need to be so sour just because you have an inexplicable crush on that asshole from the bar,” Chan grumbles.
“Oh, Minho definitely has something of a crush on him, too. He's just too fucking stupid for his own good. I'm not saying you should give him a chance, and if you do, you should definitely make him earn it. But. I am saying that he is undeniably a little in love with you already.”
“See, I don't believe you. He glared at me all night last night. Like, he was constantly looking at me, but not in a fond way. He looked like he wanted to choke me out.”
“Maybe he's into that,” Chan shrugs.
Felix wrinkles his nose. “Gross, I don't want to think about my roommate being into erotic asphyxiation.”
“Only fair since you made me think about my roommate having a huge cock.”
“Oh, come on. Look at him. Is it not obvious that he has a huge cock? You're telling me you didn't already know that this man was packing? I don't believe you. You must have been living in a world of denial.”
“This is becoming a deeply weird conversation,” Chan says.
Felix nods. “And that's why I'm so sure that Jisung and Minho are soulmates. This is how every conversation with Minho goes. Strange and a little unsettling.”
“Well, I'm off to my day job. Please don't have sex in the kitchen,” Jisung says, gathering his things and heading for the door with the unfortunate feeling that Chan and Felix are, in fact, going to have sex in the kitchen as soon as he leaves.
♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ.
Minho is embarrassed to admit he has added karaoke night to the calendar in his phone. As a recurring event, too. Because he knows, deep down, he wants to keep going. Because as much as he finds Jisung insufferable, he's also a little bit in love. He hates himself for it.
Which is how he finds himself at the following karaoke night. It's humiliating, because he was just here two days ago for the open mic. And now he's back.
Felix sees right through him, clearly not buying into the faux-reluctance Minho was trying to portray when he agreed to come tonight.
“I didn't even invite you,” Felix argues as they walk into the bar. “All I said was I was going. And then you were all Oh, I guess I'll go. Even though I don't want to. Even though I didn't ask you to come.”
“Oh, sorry, did you want to come alone?” Minho says back bitterly. He knows he's been caught, but he's still trying to play it off. Both Jeongin and Seungmin gesture at themselves as if to say, What are we, invisible? Neither Felix nor Minho acknowledges this action, though.
“Yes, actually, I did. I don't need a friend to tag along when the purpose of this visit is to get my guts rearranged by my boyfriend.”
“Boyfriend, huh?” Minho is not surprised. Felix is irresistible.
“Yep. Boyfriend. Who lives with the guy you definitely don't have a crush on, by the way.”
Minho feigns disinterest with a scoff. “And who would that be?”
As if on cue, Jisung – clad in another nauseatingly bright Hawaiian shirt, this time paired with a denim blazer? – takes the stage and introduces himself as the host for karaoke night.
“I don't have a crush on him,” Minho whisper-snaps, ignoring the slight flutter in his heart at the sound of Jisung's voice. He has to remember how annoying this guy is.
Half an hour later, Minho is on his third drink and has been thoroughly heckling Jisung's every move.
“You look like a squirrel!” He shouts, laughing uncontrollably to himself as if he's just told the funniest joke possible. “Got any acorns, squirrel boy?”
Felix slaps a hand over Minho's mouth, whispering, “Cut it out, man. You are embarrassing me. And also yourself, though I don't particularly care about that.”
“Nah, let him heckle. It's funny as hell,” Seungmin says nonchalantly. He's been egging Minho on all night, which is to be expected.
“See? He gets it!” Minho exclaims. “Get this lad another drink on me.”
“Bro's so drunk he's saying ‘lad,’” Jeongin says through a laugh. “I'm so laughing crying emoji right now.”
“You know who's not my lad? That guy!” Minho shouts, pointing at Jisung off stage. “What kinda fucker wears a shirt that colorful on a Thursday? It's a weeknight! Have some goddamn decorum.”
“I always forget how weird you get when you're drunk,” Seungmin says. “It's a pleasant surprise. I'm getting you another drink.”
Despite Felix's protests, Seungmin gets up and makes his way to the bar. Minho is no longer paying attention to them, though, because he's focused on Jisung again, back to heckling him aimlessly.
Minho is six appletinis in and can no longer remember why he thinks Jisung is so annoying. All of his inhibitions are obliterated and as a result, he's laughing his ass off at every stupid joke Jisung makes on stage. His eyes track Jisung's every movement, drawn to his form like a magnet.
“Look at Mr. I Don't Have A Crush on Jisung. Making stupid fucking hearteyes at him across the bar,” Jeongin says, a little drunk himself.
“Shut up ,” Minho slurs. “I jus’ think he's a little… c-cute. And since I'm drum–”
“Drunk?” Seungmin chimes in with an amused grin.
“Yeah. That,” Minho says with a nod, pointing at Seungmin confidently to acknowledge that he was correct. “Since I'm drunk, I don't find him as annoying. I'm too distracted by his hot bod. I wanna chew on him so bad. His skin looks so soft. I bet he feels like a dolphin.”
Minho is too busy watching Jisung to notice whenever his friends get up and leave. Not that he would care. He's got alcohol thrumming through his veins and it's making him very, very horny.
Jisung says goodnight to the sparse crowd and hops off stage, bouncing his way to the bar. Minho follows him with his eyes, debating whether it's a good idea to try and speak to him. He's just about to get up and make his way across the room when he catches Jisung changing directions and turning to the restroom.
Downing the rest of his drink in one gulp, Minho turns and follows after Jisung.
Inside the restroom, Jisung is humming to himself as he pees; Minho finds it sickeningly adorable. He watches in silence as Jisung wraps up and washes his hands, jolting when he finally looks up and sees Minho in the mirror.
“If it isn't my biggest hater and also my biggest fan,” Jisung says, voice a little too chipper as he dries his hands.
“‘M too drunk to remember why I find you annoying. 'Stead I jus’ find you stupid hot,” Minho replies, crowding Jisung against the counter, his chest to Jisung's back. He leans in and sniffs Jisung's neck, further intoxicating himself with Jisung's smell.
“Wanna lick you,” Minho mumbles into Jisung's skin, pressing his lips gently against his carotid artery.
“Minho. You're drunk,” Jisung reasons, but he makes no move to stop him.
Minho hums in affirmation as he lips a stripe up Jisung's neck. “Don't care that I'm drunk. Wanna eat you whole.”
“Let's just, uh,” Jisung pauses to gasp. “Let's take a minute to think about this. I'm pretty sure you kind of hate me.” He pushes Minho back so that he can spin around and face him head on.
“Maybe so,” Minho shrugs. “But right now I wanna kiss you. Are you gonna let me?”
“You're drunk, Minho. You don't actually want to kiss me.”
“Lies! You don't know what I want! Let me kiss you! Please please please please please! I'll die if I don't kiss you. Do you really want me to die?” Minho rushes out, mostly comprehensible.
Jisung sighs and holds up his pointer finger. “One kiss. That's it.”
Minho wastes no time in surging forward to connect their lips. It's sloppy, because Minho is definitely too intoxicated to kiss well, but he's too blissed out to care. He slips his tongue into Jisung's mouth with absolutely no dexterity, kissing until the both of them run out of air and are forced to pull apart.
Taking a deep breath, Minho tries to lean back in again, only to be stopped by Jisung. “I said one kiss. And that was one kiss.”
Jisung peels himself away from Minho, gently patting him on the shoulder and saying, “Get home safe, Minho."
♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ.
Jisung doesn't know if Minho is going to come to the open mic tonight. Sure, he came last week, but that was before Thursday when he got drunk and heckled Jisung all night, and then got more drunk and made out with him drunkenly in the bathroom before Jisung basically shut him down and left him blue-balled at the sink.
It's not irrational to think that Jisung may have bruised his ego a bit in the process.
“30,000 won says he doesn't show,” Chan says as he sets up the glasses for the night.
Changbin extends his hand for a handshake. “I'll take that action. I think he'll show again, and get even drunker, and then heckle Jisung again before pissing his pants from being so drunk.”
“Now you're just fantasizing because you want to see him piss his pants,” Chan replies.
“Not all of us have a piss kink, Chaniel,” Changbin says. “But Jisung probably does, so it would work on him, I bet. In fact, I'll put 50,000 won on Jisung having a piss kink.”
“I'm not making a bet I'm going to lose,” Jisung says with a grin. Chan and Changbin groan dramatically, prompting Jisung to add, “Hey, you guys dug your own graves here.”
“Do you think Minho will show up?” Changbin asks, an unsubtle way to shift the conversation.
“I don't care. He's kind of a bitch, so I'm moving on. Sure, he's cute and hot and kisses surprisingly well for a drunk guy, but that's not worth the personality.”
“For what it's worth, Felix says he's not actually an asshole. Apparently he's deeply strange in a way that would definitely match with you.”
“Then it's a goddamn shame that he's treated me like shit from the start, huh?”
“That's right, Jisungie! He doesn't deserve you!” Hyunjin cheers from the other side of the bar where he's been sorting cutlery.
A few hours later, Jisung is about to go up on stage to kick off the open mic when he sees Minho wander in with his friends. He's a little surprised, honestly. He kind of expected to never see Minho again after their drunken makeout session in the bathroom.
He tries to catch Minho's eye, but he can't; it almost seems like Minho is avoiding him.
Jisung introduces the first performer and makes his way offstage, heading straight for the bar to get a drink. He normally does these completely sober, that way he can ensure he gives a good performance, but he's going to need a little liquid courage if Minho is going to be sitting there all night.
Minho is locked in on that first performer, paying close attention to every detail as she plays the keyboard and performs a cover of some BTS song that Jisung can't remember the name of. Once the first girl is done, Jisung walks back up on stage to do some crowd work before introducing the next guy.
He can't help but notice that as soon as he's back in the spotlight, Minho is suddenly looking everywhere but the stage. Which makes it clear that he's avoiding Jisung, because apparently on top of being an asshole, he's also a coward.
Jisung can't believe he's still undeniably interested in this guy.
The night continues much the same, and Jisung doesn't even make eye contact with Minho before he's singing his closing song. When he finishes singing, he notices that sometime during his performance, Minho left the bar altogether. He tries not to be too disappointed about that, because it'd be stupid of him to put any value in what Minho does.
On Thursday, Felix comes to the bar to see Chan. He's alone, though. No Seungmin, no Jeongin, and most importantly, no Minho.
Jisung has a sinking feeling in his stomach that maybe this stupid rivalry has ended before it even really started. He tries to come to peace with the fact that the two of them will probably never end up as the annoyingly weird couple that he thought they were destined to be.
♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ.
He wants to go. He really, really does. And all of his friends know, which is why they're in the middle of a fierce game of Clue.
He barely got himself to skip last Thursday's karaoke night, and it's taking all of his strength to stop the urge to show up at 3RACHA for tonight's open mic.
So Minho does his best to lock in, determined to win this stupid fucking board game so that his friends will feel his wrath.
It's well past one in the morning when Minho has a brilliant idea. “Felix, give me Jisung's address or I'll pee in your gaming chair,” he slurs.
“Hey, unnecessary roughness!” Felix cries. “And I'm not giving you his address. Because one, you're drunk, and two, it's not my address to give. And three, I'm also drunk.”
Minho starts to peel himself from the couch. “Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you. I've got, like, a lot of water and soju sloshing around inside me right now, man.” He does a stupid little dance to demonstrate the liquid sloshing inside of him.
He's almost to the doorway of Felix's bedroom when he hears a frantic, “Wait wait wait wait wait wait! ”
Halting his movements, Minho turns around with an expectant grin. “Yes?”
Felix does something on his phone, and then Minho feels his own phone vibrate in his back pocket.
“There. Now get your full bladder away from my room.”
Minho smiles and changes course, taking a brief trip to the bathroom to relieve himself before returning to the living room to announce his plans to his friends.
“Alright! I'm off to declare my love to the one and only Jisung. Please bid me good luck on my treacherous journey.”
“Should we stop him?” Jeongin asks halfheartedly, trying to stack the tiny metal trophy on top of the tiny metal candlestick.
“Nah, this could be funny. But we should take some precautions, because friendship,” Seungmin replies. “Hey, Minho. Give me your phone.” Too drunk to argue, Minho tosses his phone to Seungmin, who taps a few times before handing it back. “I shared his location with the group chat so that we'll at least know where he is, just in case he doesn't make it there.”
“Also, it was Seungmin in the kitchen with the poison,” Minho stumbles out proudly.
“Dude, not even close. I'm literally holding the poison card right now. And you have the kitchen card. We can see because you left your cards face up,” Seungmin says.
“Also, Seungmin isn't a character in the game,” Jeongin adds.
“Blah!” Minho replies, heading to the door instead of sticking around for further discussion.
♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ.
Jisung is startled by a sudden knock on the door. He wasn't expecting anyone, so he figures Chan must have just forgotten his key or something. It would be kind of early for him to be getting back from 3RACHA – while Jisung normally stays after karaoke night, he was too depressed by another Minho-less night to stick around today.
When he swings the door open to reveal a drunk Minho, he is taken aback. “How do you know where I live?”
“Felix told me,” Minho answers simply, seeming proud of the fact. “Or maybe I guessed because we're soulmates.”
“Soulmates, huh? I thought I was insufferable?”
“Well, yeah. Everyone finds their soulmate a little insufferable. That doesn't mean we shouldn't get married and have three cats and a garden in our backyard.”
“So, when we met, what – three weeks ago?” Jisung mimes checking a watch that isn't on his wrist. “You hated me, and now you're at my door proposing marriage when we barely know each other.”
“Hey, we made out in the bathroom – that's not nothing!”
“Which you were drunk for. Just like now. Do you like me when you're sober, too? Or does it take a few drinks to make me bearable?”
“I like you all the time. It just takes a few drinks to make me not a coward.” Minho pauses before something seems to occur to him, making him smile proudly. “Plus! I'm not as drunk this time! That's a step in the right direction!”
Jisung laughs humorlessly. “Sure, maybe in a few weeks you'll be able to confess your supposed love for me without alcohol drowning your brain.”
Minho stomps his feet dramatically. “Jisungie! I’m telling you, I want to go on a date with you! I'm done being a stupid asshole about it! Please believe me! Pleeeeeeeaaaaaase! ”
“I'll go out with you–”
Minho interrupts with a cheer, pumping his fist in the air in victory.
“ BUT! ” Jisung continues, and Minho halts his movements and frowns dramatically. “You have to ask me when you're sober. I'm telling you now that I'll say yes. But only if you've had nothing to drink.”
Minho thinks for a moment before nodding. “Alright, deal. This will be happening. You just wait.”
“I'll buy a breathalyzer, too, if need be. I won't be fooled!”
“No need, I'm going to go home and dry out and then I'll be back here tomorrow with an engagement ring and a picnic basket full of the most delicious lunch and a giant bouquet of flowers and–”
“You've made your point. Go home, Minho. And tell Felix to text me when you get back so I know you didn't die on the way back.”
“Why can't I just text you,” Minho asks.
“Nice try, I'm not giving you my number.” Jisung pauses while Minho frowns. “Yet.”
“Do I at least get a kiss goodnight? For good luck?” Minho tries, leaning in with a placating smile.
“Nope. You haven't earned it yet.”
Wednesday comes and goes without a word from Minho, and Jisung is starting to think he forgot about asking him out while sober. He fears that maybe Minho was drunker than he led on, and that he totally forgot about their interaction.
Or worse, that he doesn't like Jisung at all.
Drunk words speak sober thoughts my ass, Jisung thinks to himself.
He's still sulking the following night when he shows up at the bar for karaoke night. He considered calling out, having Hyunjin fill in as host, but he didn't really have a good reason. What would he say, he's sad that the guy who has pretty exclusively been an asshole to him turned out to really be an asshole? Chan would turn him inside out with one disappointed glance.
Jisung kicks off karaoke night, and there's still no Minho. He tells himself he has to move on and forget about this, because frankly, it's quite stupid that he cares so much.
The night is halfway through when Jisung sees Seungmin walk into the bar. And a few moments later, Felix and Jeongin follow. Jisung all but ceases breathing as he waits, and then he sees him. He watches as Minho walks into the bar, seeming very nervous about something.
Without making eye contact – Ugh, we're back to this? Jisung thinks to himself – Minho comes up front and scribbles something on the sign up pad in front of the stage.
After introducing the next singer, Jisung grabs the notebook and snorts at Minho's song choice. He is suddenly very excited for this performance, even if Minho sticks to this whole no eye contact thing for the rest of the evening.
Fortunately, tonight was pretty slow, so there's only one performer before Minho. Jisung barely has to wait before he gets to say, “Everybody give a warm, welcoming AYYYYOOOO SKRRRRRRR to our first time singer, Lee Minho, who will be performing Aju Nice! by Seventeen!”
Minho gives an electric performance, solidifying Jisung's pathetic crush. Honestly, after this, Jisung might just bite the bullet and ask him out himself. Sure, it will be kind of humiliating, but at the same time, how can he refuse a guy who committed so hard to the song? Minho is straight up wearing suspenders.
As the song comes to a close, Jisung notices movement out of the corner of his eye, but he's too enchanted by Minho's stage presence to chance a look away.
As the final notes of the song play, Jisung is completely caught off guard by the heart-shaped confetti that comes blasting from both sides of the stage.
It turns out the movement he had neglected to pay attention to was Seungmin and Jeongin getting into position for the grand finale.
He's so jarred by the confetti that he almost misses the way Minho pulls a paper heart out of his back pocket that has Han Jisung, will you go on a date with me? scrawled on it.
He obviously says yes. How could anyone reject such a grand date proposal?
♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ.
Jisung says yes, and Minho is overjoyed. He had encountered some real self-doubt over the course of the past 48 hours, worried that Jisung wasn't really into him, or that Minho had completely imagined their whole interaction where Jisung promised he would say yes to a sober Minho.
But he swallowed his pride and went to a party supply store, buying stupid heart shaped confetti poppers. And he sat on the couch in his apartment, cutting no fewer than twelve paper hearts out before getting the perfect one. And he got Felix to ask Chan for permission to put on this whole shenanigan, and he enlisted Seungmin and Jeongin, and he memorized the lyrics to Aju Nice!, and–
He did a lot, okay?
But it was all worth it, because now the dorkiest performance of his life is over, and he's been rewarded with a blushy Jisung nosing at his cheek and plotting the details of their first date.
Karaoke night ended a while ago, but Minho stuck around to hang out with Jisung and his friends. Changbin even admitted that maybe Minho isn't as big of an asshole as he seemed, though he made it clear that he was still on thin ice.
But eventually the evening starts to wind down, and people start gathering their coats.
“Let me take you home?” Minho asks, intentions pure and genuine.
Jisung is having none of that purity, replying, “Sure, as long as you agree to come inside. And then also cum inside. Metaphorically, of course, because safe sex.” He pauses. “If you want, that is. No worries if you want to take it slow, or—“
“I want!” Minho blurts. “I definitely want.”
“Okay, thank god,” Jisung replies, and Minho watches as he turns his attention behind the bar.
“Chan, don't come home tonight. I'm going to be making sweet, nasty love to Yelp user LeeKnow. And I'm not going to be quiet about it. I'm going to make noises that have never been made in the history of humanity.”
“You could have stopped after ‘don't come home tonight,’ but okay. Lix, mind if I crash with you?”
A slightly tipsy Felix grins. “Oh, absolutely. And if Minho isn't around, that means we can make sweet, nasty love.”
Minho doesn't even have it in him to make some snarky comment back, because he's too overjoyed at the prospects of having sex with Jisung.
“Now that that's all settled, let's bounce, babe,” Jisung says, grabbing Minho's hand and leading him towards the door. He follows Jisung down the street, comforted by the knowledge that Jisung's apartment is just a few blocks away.
“Thank god you live so close, because I need to be licking every inch of your body within the next ten minutes or I'll die.”
“If you were a popsicle, what flavor would you be?” Jisung asks smoothly.
Minho stops walking in confusion. “What?”
“Well, you said you wanted to lick me. And people also lick popsicles, hence the connection.”
“Uh. Probably cherry. Maybe grape? I don't know, I've never thought about this before.”
“Really? I think about this frequently.” Jisung tugs on Minho's hand to get him to start walking again. “I'd be tangerine, by the way. But that's kind of obvious.”
“Oh, of course. First thing I thought when I saw you was, If that guy was a popsicle, he'd be tangerine flavored .”
The walk back is short, and it's barely five minutes later that Jisung is welcoming Minho into his apartment. He's quick to motion to a cube shelf against one of the living room walls.
“So, that's my collection of antique frogs. Just wanted to point that out because it's important to me that you know I have one.”
Minho smiles fondly. “That's a lot of frogs,” he muses.
“Yep. 51, to be exact. I'm aiming to reach 100 one day.”
“I'm aiming to take your clothes off one day. Preferably today,” Minho replies cheekily.
“Good news is we're on the same page. Bedroom is this way – onwards!”
Minho follows Jisung down the hallway and into his bedroom. He's immediately fixated on the plethora of instruments – guitars, a keyboard, even what looks like a saxophone. He's infatuated with this guy already.
“Okay, time to kiss,” Jisung says bluntly, pulling Minho in and connecting their lips.
It's not that Minho forgot what kissing Jisung felt like, because even drunk, it was a remarkable experience. But kissing Jisung sober is something beautiful, because Minho gets to feel every sensation with his entire being.
Jisung tries to make quick work of Minho's shirt, but is stopped by the suspenders that he still has on for some reason. “Stupid fucking suspenders. I can't believe you committed to the bit so much that it's making me wait even seconds longer to see you shirtless.”
“Whiny baby,” Minho laughs, unclipping his suspenders and tossing them somewhere on the ground and then adding his shirt to the pile.
He gently guides Jisung to the bed, pressing him down on the mattress. He begins to trail kisses down Jisung's neck, stopping at the collar of his stupidly bright Hawaiian shirt. “Can I take this off?” he whispers, as if he's afraid that if he talks too loud the moment will be ruined.
Jisung nods, and Minho starts to work the buttons running down his torso. “Fucking had to wear a shirt with one million buttons, huh?” Minho huffs, laughing breathily.
“Had no idea I'd be getting laid tonight,” Jisung replies.
“You're gonna have to start wearing clothes that are easier for me to take off of you, because I need to see you like this more often,” Minho says lowly, peeling the shirt off of Jisung completely.
He's taken aback by the ink across Jisung's chest, his mind immediately plagued by the image of Jisung squirming in a tattoo chair. He was already insanely horny, but now he's insanely horny times one thousand.
“Fuck, your tattoos are so hot,” Minho says without thought.
Jisung seems genuinely surprised by that reaction. “Really? I'll get more, then. I want a whole sleeve, actually.”
Minho has to pause to take a deep breath. “Jisung. If you get an entire tattoo sleeve I might die because all of the blood in my body will go to my dick.”
“A noble death, if you ask me,” Jisung says with a grin.
Minho leans back down and kisses the stupid smile off of his face. And then he goes back to tracing kisses down Jisung's neck, and then his chest, stopping to leave little love bites like a trail to guide him back to Jisung's mouth.
His teeth graze Jisung's left nipple, unlocking the most sinful whine as Jisung arches into the feeling. Minho can't help but smile as he repeats the action on the other side, basking in Jisung's sensitivity.
He keeps kissing down Jisung's torso until he reaches the waistband of his pants, where he stops to look back up. “Still game for this?”
“Oh, absolutely,” Jisung answers eagerly, nodding with a big smile plastered on his face.
Minho fiddles with the button of Jisung's pants, making quick work of the zipper and pulling them off altogether. He's greeted by Jisung's erection, with damp briefs being the only layer separating it from Minho's mouth. He traces his tongue along the outline of Jisung's cock, reveling in the responding twitch.
“Wanna taste you,” Minho murmurs, peeling Jisung's briefs off so that he's face to face with Jisung's bare cock. “Such a pretty cock, baby.”
Jisung whines in response, and Minho kind of wants to die – but in a good way – because it's the best sound he's ever heard in his whole entire life.
He licks a stripe up the side of Jisung's cock, tracing the vein from the base to the tip before swirling his tongue around the head.
“So wet for me already,” Minho says before enveloping Jisung's cockhead in his mouth. He's gentle and slow with his movements, keeping his pace deliberate as he sucks Jisung off. His own cock is rock hard, and the sinful noises tumbling from Jisung's mouth are only making him hornier by the minute.
It's almost as if no time at all has passed when Jisung is groaning out a warning that he's close.
Minho pulls off and stares up at Jisung with hungry eyes. “As much as I'd love to swallow your cum, and trust me, baby, I will do that one day soon, I really need to fuck you.”
“Yes, yes. That. Want that, please,” Jisung says breathily.
Minho stands from the bed and starts to unbutton his pants while Jisung digs through the nightstand drawer. He's completely bare by the time Jisung looks back at him.
“Aju nice ,” Jisung says, nodding towards Minho's hard cock.
“Shut up, you're so dorky,” Minho says with a laugh as he climbs back onto the bed.
“Sure, says the guy who wore fucking suspenders for a performance for me. And got confetti poppers.”
“Alright, so we're both dorks. Good thing we found each other, then,” Minho grins, grabbing the lube from Jisung's hand. “Gonna prep you now, okay?”
He squirts some of the lube onto his fingers, warming it up momentarily before using his pointer finger to circle Jisung's rim. “Can already tell you're gonna be so tight for me, baby. Gonna choke my dick.”
“Yeah, just for you,” Jisung says, voice breaking off into a whine as Minho pushes in the first finger. He pumps it in and out slowly, letting Jisung adjust to the intrusion for a while.
“I could spend hours fingering you. Bet your hole would get so sloppy for me,” Minho says, mouth on autopilot as he takes in the incredibly sensual sight in front of him. “I will, too. We'll make a day of it. A day where I finger you all day, see how many orgasms I can wring out of you before you're spent.”
To punctuate his sentence, Minho slips in a second finger. Jisung, who was already panting from Minho's words, lets out a pathetic moan at the added width.
“Your fingers feel s’good,” Jisung says airily.
“Yeah? Just wait until you feel my cock, baby. Gotta get you nice and stretched for me first, though.”
Jisung nods, words escaping him as Minho starts to scissor his fingers.
“Ready for a third?” Minho asks, already prodding his ring finder at Jisung's entrance.
“Yeah, want it,” Jisung says, and Minho abides, sliding in another finger. He lets Jisung get used to the added stretch before he starts to fuck into his hole with more purpose, and he knows the moment he finally hits Jisung's prostate. Jisung's entire body arches off of the bed and he lets out the most debauched whine yet, and Minho can't help but grin.
“Hello, Jisung's prostate. I think we will become very good friends,” Minho says absentmindedly.
“Yes, yes you will,” Jisung manages to say, laughing at the stupidity of Minho's statement. “Ready for your cock, hyung.”
He realizes it's the first time Jisung has called him hyung, and it shoots an electric current down his spine for some reason. He's quick to retract his fingers, rolling a condom on and slicking himself up in record time before he's lining up with Jisung's hole.
“Ready, baby?” Minho asks, staring down at Jisung's flushed face. He slowly pushes in, inching forward at a deliberately slow pace as he feels Jisung's hole stretch to accommodate him.
“Fuck, so full,” Jisung says when Minho finally bottoms out. “Can feel you in my throat.”
“Yeah? I can fuck your throat sometime too, baby.”
Jisung moans at that, and Minho takes the opportunity to lean down and kiss him silly. He could honestly sit like this forever, sheathed in Jisung but completely still while they make out sloppily. It's his own little heaven.
When they finally have to separate for air, Jisung gives Minho the go-ahead to start moving. His first thrusts are tentative, getting used to the new terrain, before Minho starts to develop a targeted pace. It's slow enough to hit deep every time, but fast enough to still be punishing.
“Feel so good around my cock. Wanna stay in you forever,” Minho speaks. As his brain gets clouded by more horniness, he mutters an increased amount of nonsense. It seems his starting to reach that point.
“More, please,” Jisung asks, and who is Minho to deny him? He picks up the pace, opting for shorter, harsher thrusts that cause the headboard to knock against the wall. Minho is suddenly very happy that Chan is not in the apartment, because he would probably not like that very much.
“Made for me, baby. Swear you fit like a glove. This is my fucking hole now,” Minho grunts, pulling out all the way only to slam back in. He repeats this a few times until Jisung is a babbling mess, whining incoherently. Minho feels the way Jisung's hole seems to tighten around him, choking his cock.
“Gonna come for me? Make a mess because I'm making you feel so good?” Minho asks, and Jisung is too far gone to reply with words, so all he does is nod. His tongue lolls out of his mouth as he nods, and Minho finds it so insanely erotic that he suddenly realizes he's also on the brink of orgasm.
He slips one hand in between them and wraps it around Jisung's cock, now so completely covered in precum that the slide is slick immediately. He jerks Jisung off in rhythm with his thrusts, watching in complete adoration as Jisung tumbles over the edge.
He's speechless with how good Jisung looks when he comes; the way his face contorts in pleasure should be preserved in every museum everywhere. (But also not, because Minho wants to keep that expression just for himself.)
Minho keeps fucking him at a brutal pace, now chasing his own orgasm. He can tell from Jisung's noises that he's crossing into overstimulation, but Minho is right on the edge, and all it takes is Jisung tightening up around him to have him spilling into the condom in what is definitely the best orgasm of his entire life.
Once he rides out his orgasm, Minho slows down his pace and goes to pull out, but Jisung stops him with a hand around his hips. “Not yet, wanna keep you inside for a moment longer.”
Minho huffs a laugh. “Alright, whatever you want, baby.” He takes the opportunity to look down at Jisung and finds himself speechless at how gorgeous he looks. He's got a light sheen of sweat coating his honey-golden skin, and his lips have been kissed swollen. It's a sight that Minho wouldn't mind seeing for the rest of his life. He's not about to say that, though, because it's embarrassingly sentimental, so instead he says, “I can't believe I hated you, like, a month ago.”
Jisung laughs, and both of them whine at the way it shifts Minho's cock inside of him. “That's a crazy thing to say when you're still buried to the hilt.”
A few moments later, Minho pulls out gently, tying off the condom and tossing it in the trash. “D'you have any towels or something? So I can clean you up?”
“Mm, I've got baby wipes in my nightstand. That's good enough for now. 'M too tired for more.”
Minho locates the aforementioned wipes and uses them to wipe Jisung down with a sickening amount of tenderness, and once he's tossed those in the trash, too, he joins Jisung in bed.
“So, like, are we boyfriends now? Or do I have to sing again?”
“I mean, I would love for you to sing again, but I would also love to be boyfriends. So as long as you promise to one day serenade me with Twice's Fancy , complete with choreography, then I think we can definitely be boyfriends.”
“Alright, deal. Excellent song choice, by the way. I'll start learning the choreo tomorrow.”