Work Text:
Look.
Seungcheol doesn"t mean to heavily imply to one of his favorite third year students that he has extensive firsthand experience with anal sex. He really doesn"t.
But when Soobin comes into his classroom panicking because Yeonjun had invited him over to his house this weekend when his parents were going to be *wink wink* out of town, and yes they had fooled around a little before but this was their first real opportunity and Soobin had never even had sex with a girl before, how would he possibly know what to do with a guy, and is lube really necessary if you"re gonna go all the way? — what was Seungcheol gonna do, tell him NO? Not give him a thorough rundown of the importance of proper preparation and safety measures? The Korean school system already did an abysmal job with heterosexual sex ed. Someone was going to have to teach Soobin these things, and better for him to learn from a trusted adult than bad porn or trial by fire.
And to be honest, as the resident "cool teacher", it"s not the first time he"s had students come to him with sex questions. It"s just that up until now, they had all been regarding straight sex.
So yes, Seungcheol may accidentally show a little too much of his hand when Soobin asks if two fingers is enough prep and he responds by making a face and saying, without missing a beat, “God, no”.
Seungcheol regrets it as soon as he says it. He knows better than to let his guard down around the kids, he really does, but it’s been a long day. He’s been spending every spare moment grading his first years’ midterm essay questions and his brain is fried, in no small part because not one but two of his students managed to mix up the Ming Dynasty and the Joseon Dynasty. Which is… astounding, really, given that one was in China and the other in Korea, and makes him question the whole of his credentials as a teacher. He’s almost positive one student was cheating off the other, but he can’t figure out which is which, and that is making him question his entire career even more. So it’s been a day, okay?
And Seungcheol fucks up and gives a knee-jerk response to Soobin’s question which reads a little more personal than Seungcheol would prefer, and Choi Soobin, bless his heart, is incredibly sweet and very smart, but also a little naive. So when the neurons light up in his brain and he puts two and two together in regards to Seungcheol’s response, Soobin is absolutely dumbfounded by this newfound information. He gets hung up on it. He cannot get over it.
“Wait so you’ve… you know…” Soobin trails off, eyes wide.
Seungcheol sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to answer that question.” Which he knows full well is just as much an admission as if he’d pulled a dildo out of his desk drawer, but what was he supposed to do, lie? (Yes, the tiny Jeonghan Devil on his shoulder insists, but Seungcheol isn’t Jeonghan — he can’t just weave intricate lies about his personal life and delight in feeding them to his students like candy. He tries to be honest with his students, god dammit, especially the ones who are as thoughtful and sweet as Soobin.)
Somehow, Soobin’s eyes manage to grow wider. He blinks a few times. “So how…” he starts, and Seungcheol is bracing himself for an innocently-intended but nonetheless mildly invasive question about his sexual preferences, or maybe a technical question about how many fingers are necessary. But Soobin throws him off entirely when he asks, “So how do you identify, seonsaengnim?”
Fucking kids.
It’s not a question Seungcheol should answer. Again, he knows that. That information mistakenly gets into the wrong hands and he could end up in the administrator’s office very quickly. But it’s been a day, and he’s in so deep already, and it’s important that kids have good role models, and representation matters, and Soobin is looking at him so innocently, and Seungcheol is proud of his identity, okay, and — god, Jeonghan’s right. He may keep his kids in line when it comes to behavior and the curriculum (except those two damn first years, apparently), but for any personal asks, Seungcheol really is a pushover. Because he does the stupid thing and looks Soobin in the eye as he says, “I consider myself to be bisexual.”
“Oh,” Soobin breathes, like Seungcheol just told him the secrets of the universe.
“But you understand that you can’t go around sharing that information, yes?” Seungcheol asks, because he may be stupid but he doesn’t have a death wish. “I need this to stay between us.”
“Yes, of course. I promise.”
“Cross your heart?”
Soobin nods and physically crosses his heart, which makes Seungcheol’s own heart melt and god fucking dammit. “Cross my heart.”
Realistically, Seungcheol is quite sure Soobin is going to tell Yeonjun. Probably Taehyun, too. But as long as it stays away from human rumor mill Beomgyu and world"s biggest blabbermouth Kai, he"s probably fine. Probably. Right?
—
Jeonghan, when Seungcheol comes rushing into his classroom five minutes later, finds this absolutely hilarious. Because he’s Jeonghan and of course he does. (Seungcheol really should’ve brought this to Seungkwan first — he would’ve at least tried not to laugh at him for a solid two minutes. Before ultimately giving in to his inner demons and calling in whichever one of their friends was nearest so they could laugh at him together. Actually, in hindsight... yeah. It"s good Seungcheol didn"t tell Seungkwan.)
“No, really, Hannie, I mean it!” Seungcheol insists. “What if this gets me in trouble?”
“Oh babe,” Jeonghan giggles, hopping off his chair and soothing his hands over Seungcheol’s chest under the guise of straightening his shirt (the upper limit of Seungcheol’s well-established rules on possible relationship-exposing PDA on school grounds). “If it really becomes a problem, you can just deny it. It’s only one kid. Who would believe that you would come out to a student just because they used the fatal puppy eyes attack on you?” He pauses. “Well, aside from me. And Seungkwannie. And Ji—”
“I get it,” Seungcheol interrupts, pulling away and averting his gaze. “No one but me would be stupid enough to do this.”
Jeonghan grabs Seungcheol by the chin and draws him back in, forcing him to make eye contact again. “None of that, Cheollie. I think it’s very sweet.”
“And stupid,” Seungcheol grumbles.
Jeonghan gives him one of those bunny grins with the scrunched nose, and well. It’s hard to stay grumpy when he does that. “Maybe a little stupid, yes, but mostly sweet. And he’s a good kid, right? He came to you because he trusted you. He assumed you were straight, but he trusted you enough to come to you with his gay sex questions anyway. He’s not going to take this straight to the Parent Association.”
“Not on purpose, but—”
“Oh please, Cheollie. The Parent Association would never believe such slander about their beloved Choi Seungcheol-ssi anyway. He’s too young—” Jeonghan playfully shoves Seungcheol’s face to one side, “—and too talented—” he pushes it to the other side, “—and far too handsome.”
“You should hear what they say about you,” Seungcheol says.
Jeonghan tsks. “If it’s not that they’re terrified of me, I don’t want to hear it.”
“But that’s exactly what it is. You’re mysterious and unpredictable and their kids all say you’re a hardass when they don’t do the reading, and that only makes you hotter.” Seungcheol hooks a finger around Jeonghan’s belt loop and inches him closer, because fuck it. School ended an hour ago, and he’s feeling a little brave. “You’re featuring in all these housewives’ dark academia fantasies. And your test scores are just so sexy.”
Jeonghan’s smirk is dangerous. “They are, aren’t they? And funny, that. Because I know someone with a competence kink.”
“What does Seungkwan have to do with this?” Seungcheol asks.
Jeonghan dissolves into giggles and shoves Seungcheol into a nearby desk. “You stay in denial, baby. It won’t change the truth.”
Seungcheol rights himself and shoves Jeonghan back. “Can we go home now? I really want your tongue in my mouth and I refuse to do that while Big Brother is watching, no matter how hot you think it would be.”
“It’d be so hot, though,” Jeonghan laments, and Seungcheol just glares at him in return. Jeonghan winks but acquiesces, rounding his desk to collect his bag. “Only if we go to your place. I found another cockroach in my bathroom this morning and I’m considering threatening my landlord with arson.”
—
Their school’s head teacher insists on throwing a party at the end of each semester to “celebrate the staff’s achievements in shaping Korea’s future generations”. In practice, it usually turns out being a couple of room-temperature pizzas and a handful of exhausted teachers trying to one-up each other on who had the worst student and/or parent run-ins this semester, but it’s cathartic nonetheless.
Especially when Jihoon’s “good friend” Soonyoung rolls up with soju and the old-timers bow out, leaving the younger crew to get wasted and talk shit without them.
Soonyoung isn’t technically a teacher at the school, but as Jihoon’s “roommate”, he runs an after-school dance program and helps Seungkwan out with choreography during musical season, so he’s an honorary member of the team. (He once drunkenly admitted that when they first met, it was Jeonghan he was most scared of impressing in order to earn his spot in the group. Jeonghan had laughed and told him that he wasn’t the one he should’ve been worried about — the real gatekeeper is Jihyo.)
Once the sunbaes are gone and the soju is flowing, the real fun begins: the time-honored tradition of Yoon Jeonghan Storytime, where Jeonghan details all the strange assignments he conned his students into this semester and the entirely fabricated tales he told which the kids completely bought despite their improbability.
Seungcheol has always been awed by (and intimidated by, and also a little turned on by) Jeonghan’s ability to command a room of teenagers. As much as Seungcheol is proud of his own achievement of becoming the resident cool teacher, he knows it’s fleeting — he’s only cool because he’s young and in-the-know enough to be relatable to his students.
Yes, he commands their respect, and the few who have ever seen him truly angry know why they should never let that happen again, but at the end of the day, his appeal comes from being the chill one — the teacher who’s a friend. Give Seungcheol a few years and a handful of gray hairs, his dormant ahjussi tendencies will kick in, and the students will find a younger, hotter teacher to crush on. It’s the circle of life.
Whereas Jeonghan… Jeonghan has this aura about him that Seungcheol is quite sure he’s never going to lose.
The moms of the Parent Association are completely right to lust after him for being a hot, mysterious hardass of a literature teacher, but to his students he’s more than that. He’s simultaneously strict but warm, terrifying yet well-liked. Jeonghan is the teacher whose approval the kids most covet. He draws you to him, but he metes out almost no information about himself or his personal life. When he does share information, he tells it with such a flourish that it’s never clear if it’s actually true or not.
As an individual, Jeonghan revels in being an enigma that none of the kids (or parents, for that matter) can quite puzzle out. But more than that, he also delights in being unpredictable in his capacity as an educator — when his students expect him to zig, he zags.
Where Mr. Choi will let you play phone games or Cham Cham Cham if you finish your work early, Mr. Yoon will make you write a haiku about trout fishing and grade it as if it were a real, regular assignment. He is the king of both pop quizzes and pop un-quizzes, where he cancels pre-planned tests on the spot and instead makes his students write an essay on their favorite song, or a book report on a trashy magazine, or a sonnet about convenience stores. The other teachers are endlessly amused by how many of the students (and parents) are scared of him given how soft, playful, and outright chaotic he is when the kids aren"t in the room.
Among students, his fun side is one of legend, of lore — it comes out rarely and only when well-earned. But that fun side is so goofy and wild that the students who don"t see it firsthand often don"t believe the students who describe their experience. And anyway, it"s almost exclusively reserved for the final year students, close to graduation, once all the tests and entrance exams are taken and when things are winding down. After the fact, the students graduate, and the truth behind the legends of Silly Chaotic Mr. Yoon disappear into the wind along with them.
Since it’s currently the mid-year break and graduation isn’t for several months, Jeonghan doesn’t have as many stories this semester. But he usually still has a stash, so Seungcheol doesn’t expect when, after only one status update on his third year honors class’s ploy to earn a students-vs.-Jeonghan dodgeball game before graduation, and a story he spun for his first years about fighting an adolescent bear cub in Ansan, Jeonghan turns the attention to Seungcheol himself.
“Cheollie,” he says with a smirk that is downright dangerous, “would you like to tell the class what you told Choi Soobin a few weeks ago?”
Seungcheol feels his cheeks heat up immediately. “I thought this was Yoon Jeonghan storytime?”
Jisoo, that menace, leans in with an equally dangerous grin as Jeonghan’s. God, the two of them teaming up together should be banned. “Well if Jeonghannie thinks your story is good enough to share, I certainly want to hear it.”
“Ooooh, me too,” Seungkwan says, his stupid eyes sparkling, and god, it’s already over for Seungcheol, isn’t it?
He still has to try, though, so he attempts, “I hardly think it’s—”
“Tell us, tell us, tell us,” Soonyoung starts chanting, effectively cutting him off. Jihoon places a hand on Soonyoung’s knee that telegraphs calm the fuck down, but even he looks to Seungcheol curiously, not doing anything else to curb his flushed and more-than-a-little-tipsy boyfriend’s enthusiasm.
“C’mon,” Jihyo chimes in. “You’re among friends.”
Seungcheol takes stock of the room, and to be honest, she’s right. The room has dwindled down to a core crew, many of whom have already weaseled any number of embarrassing secrets out of him. Everyone here already knows he and Jeonghan are together, at the very least.
The only person he doesn’t know quite as well is Momo, the new Japanese teacher this semester. But master gatekeeper Jihyo vouches for her, having been the one who got her this job in the first place, and Jisoo already seems to have some built-in foreign language teacher bond with her, so Seungcheol sighs and nods to Jeonghan. “Go ahead.”
Jeonghan claps and leans in giddily. “Seungcheol-ssi here told poor Soobin that he’s a bottom.”
“That is NOT what I said—” Seungcheol corrects, but if the hyena laughter Jeonghan, Jisoo, and Seungkwan have all already devolved into is any indication, his attempts are bound to be futile.
“You’re a bottom??” Soonyoung cries in shock.
Seungcheol wants nothing more than to retreat into a little turtle shell in this moment. “No—”
Soonyoung, characteristically, doesn’t even let him finish. “So you’re not a bottom? Why would you tell him you were??”
“I didn’t tell him I was anything, I just said—”
“Well,” Jeonghan interrupts, “you did tell him you’re a raging bisexual and that you know alllll about ass fucking.” At that, Jihyo joins in the absolutely rude gigglefest happening over in the corner, and before long, Momo is roped in too. Even Jihoon is snickering, goddammit. Seungcheol should’ve just left before this had even begun.
“Wait, so are you a bottom or not?” Soonyoung asks, genuinely befuddled.
Seungcheol sputters for a moment before Jeonghan rescues him by saying, “It’s the 21st century, Soonyoungie, we switch like civilized people.” (Well, if exposing details of their sex life could be considered a rescue effort.)
“Did you also tell the kid you’re the subbiest sub to ever s—” The end of Jisoo’s sentence is muffled by Seungcheol surging across the room to forcibly shut him up, thank you very much.
Seungkwan bangs on the table like a judge with a gavel. “LET THE MAN SPEAK!”
“It’s my FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHT—” Jisoo starts, way too pleased with himself, before he gets shoved all the way off his chair and hits the floor with a thump.
“Welcome to Korea, bitch,” Seungcheol says, which is admittedly dramatic, but Jisoo earned it.
Momo looks a little taken aback, but relaxes when Jihyo starts golf clapping like she just witnessed a stage play. “This is even better than Yoon Jeonghan Storytime,” she declares.
A warm hand lands on Seungcheol’s shoulder and he reluctantly allows Jeonghan to drag him back to his seat. Once there, Jeonghan laces his fingers with Seungcheol’s, and as much as Seungcheol wants to yank his hand away from that traitor, the thumb rubbing gentle circles on his skin is admittedly nice. “The whole thing was actually very sweet, though,” Jeonghan says.
“How?” Jisoo asks, wiping a mirthful tear off his cheek as he rights himself back in his own chair. “How the hell could that have been sweet?”
“Yeah,” Seungkwan pipes up, “how did this even come up?”
Seungcheol burrows into Jeonghan’s shoulder. “I hate you,” he mumbles.
Jeonghan just pets Seungcheol’s hair, shifting so the position is a bit more comfortable for them both. Seungcheol can hear the smile in his voice as he returns to the group and starts in with, “Okay, so…”
It’s going to be a long night.
—
“I told you it would be fine,” Jeonghan says later that evening, as he rummages through Seungcheol’s kitchen for the Pepero he knows is stashed around here somewhere. “If the story didn’t even make it from Soobin to any of that crew before we told them, there’s no way it’s gotten to any admin or parents. Aha!” he cries, snatching the package from its hiding spot and spinning around, only to be faced with an adorably mopey Seungcheol.
“Who is ‘we’?” Seungcheol pouts. “You told them.”
“And you were very generous to let me,” Jeonghan coos, puckering his lips overdramatically and leaving a chaste kiss on Seungcheol’s pout.
Seungcheol rolls his eyes, but doesn’t argue. Jeonghan senses that he has more to say, however, so he munches away on his late-night snack and waits patiently as Seungcheol gets a glass from the cupboard, fills it with water, and downs the whole thing before he speaks again.
“I’m still just… nervous. Because what if you get dragged into this, too? What if we’ve been too sloppy and someone realizes we’re together and outs the both of us to admin and—”
“Cheollie,” Jeonghan soothes, a hand landing on either of Seungcheol’s cheeks. “That’s highly unlikely. Our schedules align so poorly that we"re rarely seen together anyway. If anything, they probably think I’m dating Seungkwan.”
“But you and Kwannie aren’t the ones with bisexual allegations!” Seungcheol argues, nudging Jeonghan aside so he can grab a Pepero for himself.
Jeonghan waits until Seungcheol looks back up, chocolate stick dangling out of his mouth, so he can levy his most scalding are-you-joking look at him. “Allegations? Babe, it’s not alleged. You’re an absolute fruitcake and you told Soobin all about it.”
“I didn’t tell him all about—”
“Anyway, Seungkwan teaches theatre and choir. If the parents think he’s straight, that’s on them. And the ahjummas in the cafeteria are constantly telling me that I make a prettier woman than their grandsons’ poor girlfriends. The two of us eat lunch together every day, we’re absolutely more likely suspects of the secret homosexual relationship bug than you are.”
Seungcheol pouts. “I would eat lunch with you every day, if only admin wasn’t constantly putting us on opposite schedules.”
“I know, Cheol-ah. I’m just saying, no one suspects anything.”
He’s right, of course. He always is. But Seungcheol crosses his arms and amplifies his pout anyway.
At this point, Jeonghan can track Seungcheol’s train of thought even faster than he can his own, so he knows exactly where his big dummy of a boyfriend is going with this. He rolls his eyes, stepping closer to tuck a stray bit of hair behind Seungcheol’s ear. “Are you jealous of me and Kwannie’s nonexistent dating allegations now?”
“I’m just saying, if you have to have dating rumors with anyone at the school, it should obviously be me.”
“You’re the one who won’t let me touch you within a kilometer of campus. Maybe if you let me stick my hands in your pockets when they get cold during assemblies, we’d get more dating rumors.”
Seungcheol huffs. “Even for a straight couple, that’s a great way to get fired.”
“But my hands get so cooooolllldddd,” Jeonghan whines, holding his freezing fingers out. Seungcheol immediately ducks away from them with a shriek, only for Jeonghan to chase Seungcheol around the kitchen, making grabby hands for the latter’s space heater of a body.
Somehow, two minutes later they end up on the couch, Jeonghan ascendant — that is, perched on top of Seungcheol’s thighs, his hands shoved up Seungcheol’s shirt where they are, in fact, warming up (thank you very much). He resolves their skirmish diplomatically, with a kiss planted to Seungcheol’s lips. And if Seungcheol chases after Jeonghan’s lips for another kiss that lingers… well, that’s his prerogative as the surrendering party. It’s only right for Jeonghan to accept his terms.
Now that his hands are sufficiently warmed, Jeonghan removes them from under Seungcheol’s shirt and uses them to grab him by the face instead. “Seriously, though. Even when we spend the night together on school nights, we usually leave after the kids have gone home and arrive before students do in the morning. And if people do find out, who cares? Realistically we were only going to be able to keep up this ruse for so long. Four years is pretty impressive.” Jeonghan pokes at where he knows Seungcheol’s dimple is hiding. “And maybe if we get found out, you"ll finally agree that yes, it would make more sense if we just officially moved in together.”
Seungcheol struggles to fight the smile off his face, masking it by turning to leave a kiss on Jeonghan’s palm. "Who"d have thunk, when we first met, that your emotionally constipated ass would be the one begging me to move in together?"
Jeonghan rolls his eyes. "I admire your dedication to your job, but I"m sick of it getting in the way of my own personal romantic and sexual endeavors."
Seungcheol walks his fingers up and down Jeonghan’s sides, from hip to ribcage and back, and Jeonghan is fighting for his life to not get distracted by them. "And you want to move out of your roach-infested place into somewhere nicer."
"That too. But seriously, Cheollie. Literally no one cares if two teachers live together. They"re not going to separate us like middle schoolers and send you to another school. We can just tell them we"re roommates if you want, like Jihoonie and Soonyoung."
Seungcheol sighs. "I appreciate that. But I don"t want to lie. If I have you, I want to have you. I want everyone to be able to see."
Jeonghan’s internal organs turn to mush. Damn him. It’s high time Jeonghan strikes back. "That"s very sweet. But technically you"re already lying now by not telling admin or students or parents that we"re together."
"That is a strategic omission, it is not the same thing."
"Fuck, I love when you talk dirty to me,” Jeonghan announces. Seungcheol’s responding giggle is quickly silenced when Jeonghan gets his tongue on his earlobe.
“You know what the end of the semester means, right?” he asks, tugging the earlobe between his teeth.
Jeonghan considers it a win when Seungcheol takes a moment to respond. Finally, he whispers breathily, “We get to sleep in for a month?”
“God, yes.” With a grin, Jeonghan moves down Seungcheol’s neck. “But also… I get to mark you up all I want.”
“I still have to go places, you know,” Seungcheol argues, but it’s halfhearted at best. “We can run into students or parents or…” He gasps, clearly fighting to stay focused on the end of his sentence. “Or administrators. We can… run into them anywhere.”
“Wear a turtleneck.” Jeonghan bites into the fleshy part of Seungcheol’s neck. Seungcheol puffs out an impatient breath and god, Jeonghan wishes he could see the look on his face right now.
“It’s July.”
Jeonghan laves at Seungcheol’s pulse point. “You really gonna tell me to stop?”
That shuts him up real quick. Score two for Jeonghan.
—
In the end, it’s divorce, fumigation, and appendicitis that gets them found out.
Naturally.
Seungcheol has been hearing rumblings among his students for a little while that Huening Kai and Bahiyyih’s parents were getting divorced, so when Kai mentions offhand one autumn afternoon that he’s moving into his mom’s new place that weekend, Seungcheol isn’t exactly surprised. He’s also not surprised when Kai complains about having to share a bedroom with his little sister — the housing market is terrible these days. Seungcheol’s own landlord had hiked up rent prices recently, and poor old Mrs. Ahn next door had had to move out, no longer able to pay for a two-bedroom with her pension.
What Seungcheol is surprised by, however, is that the new apartment Kai had mentioned was, in fact, the very same unit recently vacated by old Mrs. Ahn.
In hindsight, Seungcheol is glad that he finds out right away, though he wishes the circumstances were a little less dangerous — as it is, he finds himself being nearly clobbered as he leaves for his Saturday morning run by Kai rounding the hallway corner carrying an absolutely gigantic box labelled “GAMES”.
“Woah,” Seungcheol exclaims, contorting his body to escape getting checked by Kai while simultaneously attempting to steady the teetering box as it nearly topples to the ground.
Once he’s helped Kai safely set the box down and ensured that death by clumsy student is no longer imminent, Seungcheol surveys the situation with hands on his hips. “Is this your mom’s new place, then?”
For his part, Kai is wide-eyed and harried, looking a little like an NPC who was not programmed to deal with this scenario. “Uh, yeah. Why are you here?”
Seungcheol laughs. “I live here, Kai.”
“Oh,” he says. “I guess… yeah. That could happen, couldn’t it. Cool!”
“Oppa,” a voice calls from inside the apartment, whose front door Seungcheol belatedly realizes is propped open, “if you don’t move all your plushies from my half of the room in the next five minutes, I’m going to tell eomma about that time you—” A teenage girl emerges in the doorway and stops short upon seeing Seungcheol, immediately going red. She freezes for a moment before gathering her bearings and bowing with a meek “Hello.”
Seungcheol bows back, grinning. “Hi Bahiyyih,” he says, and she somehow goes redder at the knowledge that Seungcheol knows her by name. He hasn’t had Hiyyih as his student yet, but she’s impossible to not recognize — before Kai, Seungcheol had also taught their elder sister Lea, and they all have the exact same face, like someone just copy and pasted.
She looks at Kai. “Should I… go get eomma?”
Kai shrugs. “I dunno.”
—
“You really didn’t have to,” Mrs. Jung insists fifteen minutes later, once Seungcheol sets down the last box of Kai’s extensive graphic novel collection. “My Kai is already well past 180cm, he could’ve carried those boxes himself.”
“With that posture?” Seungcheol laughs. “He would’ve ended up in a back brace. I’m happy to help, at least until he grasps the concept of lifting with his legs.”
“Well thank you nonetheless,” she says with a warm smile. Kind and welcoming, Mrs. Jung has always been one of Seungcheol’s favorite parents to interface with. “And selfishly… well, I’m a little relieved to find that you’re my new neighbor. Though I’m sure it’s a bit awkward for you.”
“Oh, no,” Seungcheol brushes her off, yet already quietly dreading having to tell Jeonghan about this new living situation.
“It’s just nice to know there’s someone nearby who I know I can trust. This whole ordeal has been a lot, you know? I worry for them.”
“They’re good kids,” Seungcheol reassures. “Will they be here with you full time? Or do you have split custody?”
“They’ll be with their dad on the weekends. He’s gotten a new place, too, but he’s still close enough that we’ll list his as their official address with the district so that they stay within the geographical boundaries and don’t have to transfer schools. We didn’t want to uproot them too much — especially since Kai only has one more semester as it is, it would be cruel to make him switch schools now.”
“Understandable.” Seungcheol hesitates. “Are they taking public transport to school, though? It’s a bit of a brutal commute, I have to admit.”
Mrs. Jung sighs. She looks exhausted. “I know. Their father fought to keep them on weekdays for that very reason, but he just travels so much for work. The kids would be left alone far too often, it wouldn’t be fair to them. So we agreed I would have them on weekdays with the caveat that I’d be driving them to and from school every day. Luckily my boss is being accommodating.”
“That’s good to hear,” Seungcheol says, genuinely relieved — because if Kai and Hiyyih were in a situation where they had to take the bus to school, he might’ve done something stupid like volunteer to give them a ride himself. With the car Seungcheol is forced to drive every day because, despite technically living in Seoul, his apartment is located in a weird little enclave on the outskirts of the city that the city planners, for some ungodly reason, decided simply didn"t need public transport access.
It’s a trade-off, to be sure — Jeonghan’s dingy, bug-infested shoebox of a basement studio is not exactly high class, but he’s only two stops away from the school by subway. He’s right near a main drag with all the shops and restaurants and markets you could need, so Jeonghan doesn"t have a car at all. If he ever needs to use one, he just uses Seungcheol’s. Whereas Seungcheol’s apartment is significantly nicer but stuck in what is apparently Seoul’s only public transportation desert. Although his commute to school is only about 20 minutes by car, any attempts to travel by bus would take an hour or more on a good day. Don"t even think about the subway — it proves absolutely useless to him. And poor Kai and Bahiyyih now, apparently.
Seungcheol glances around the space, filled with half-unpacked boxes and furniture wrapped in plastic. “I’ll get out of your hair now, I’m sure you have a lot to do still. But please… if you ever need anything, you know where to find me.”
“I appreciate that, Seungcheol-ssi. I really do. Once I finally get my kitchen put together, I’ll have to bring you over a proper homemade thank you.”
“Oh, that’s not necessary.”
“Don’t be silly,” Mrs. Jung fusses, waving Seungcheol out the door. “I know what pocket change that school tries to claim is a salary. It’s the least I can do.”
“Okay,” Seungcheol acquiesces, knowing there’s no point in arguing. “Thank you. I’ll look forward to it.”
—
Jeonghan only throws a minor fit when Seungcheol breaks the news that weeknight sleepovers at his place are now indefinitely banned.
“Do you see this place?” Jeonghan’s voice is muffled on account of him lying facedown on his bed with his face in the blankets (see also: minor fit). “It’s a dump! No one wants to be here!”
“I want to be here,” Seungcheol argues, soothing a hand over Jeonghan’s back. “I want to be wherever you are.”
Jeonghan turns to look at Seungcheol, brow furrowed and hair askew. “That’s very cute and all, but I don’t want to be where I am, because where I am right now is also where the roaches are!”
“I’ll protect you from the roaches.”
Jeonghan harrumphs and burrows back into a pillow. “As if you’re not ten times more squeamish with creepy crawly things than I am.”
“Okay, well let’s maybe start by not calling them creepy crawly things—”
“What, you don’t like to think about little creatures creeping and crawling—” Jeonghan taunts, finding the nearest bit of Seungcheol (his thigh, as it turns out), and lightly walking his fingers along it like a spider.
“Stop it.” Seungcheol slaps Jeonghan’s hand away, and Jeonghan only giggles, finally sitting up to look at his boyfriend head on.
He grows serious. “You see, my dispute with the roaches is righteous. It is a real estate dispute, because they are squatters who get their sticky little babies all over my house. This isn’t a group home. They don’t pay rent. They have no right to be here. Your dispute with the roaches, on the other hand, is merely because you’re a wuss. We are not the same.”
Seungcheol tackles Jeonghan back into the mattress. They don’t talk for awhile after that.
—
As much as Jeonghan likes to complain about it, the two of them get into a routine. If they want to spend the night together on a weeknight, Seungcheol stays at Jeonghan’s place. And to make up for the fact that he’s forced to stay at — god forbid — his own apartment five nights a week, Jeonghan usually spends the whole weekend at Seungcheol’s.
Seungcheol remains a little wary of getting caught out by Mrs. Jung, but Jeonghan assures him that he only had Kai for a semester in his first year, and he’s never had either of the girls in his classes, so he’s not sure if Mrs. Jung would even recognize him at all.
And after the first weekend with Kai and Hiyyih away, when Mrs. Jung comes to Seungcheol’s threshold with a hot tray of homemade food and she doesn’t even blink at Jeonghan being the one to answer the door, Seungcheol finds it’s hard to argue Jeonghan’s point. If she recognizes Jeonghan or suspects anything untoward, she keeps it to herself, at least.
So, inconvenient as it may be for Jeonghan to never be allowed over on weekdays anymore, Seungcheol and Jeonghan can at least safely spend their weekends together at a roach-less apartment without fear of being seen (or god forbid, heard) by one of their students.
But good things only ever last for so long.
Because a few months into this arrangement, the cockroach problem at Jeonghan’s hellish apartment somehow escalates even further, and he manages to sweet-talk his landlord into having the entire place fumigated. Which is the ideal scenario for gamemaster Jeonghan, but gives Seungcheol immense anxiety given the fact that Seungcheol now has no choice but to host Jeonghan at his apartment until at least Thursday.
The first few days go fine. Seungcheol forces them to sneak around like teenagers, and Jeonghan complains endlessly, but complies nonetheless.
Seungcheol is relieved when, on Wednesday evening, Jeonghan announces that his landlord gave him the okay to return to his newly roach-less apartment the following afternoon. It’s been nice having Jeonghan around to come home to (or else, to come home together with), but he thinks his blood pressure has gone up significantly these past few days. He’s in a constant state of paranoia. Every thump and bump in the night is, inexplicably, one of his students. He even has a nightmare that his entire Korean history class shows up in his kitchen and takes paparazzi photos of him and Jeonghan coming out of the bedroom. To put it mildly: it’s not good.
Needless to say, Seungcheol wakes up Thursday morning eager to leave this anxiety behind him. Jeonghan will head back home after the school day and then safely return over the weekend, when they can be sure they won’t be caught out by any innocent students just trying to live their lives.
So of course, Thursday morning is when shit hits the fan.
It’s a few minutes after 7am, Seungcheol and Jeonghan just about ready to sneak down to the parking garage, when their departure is interrupted by a frantic, rapid knocking on the door. Concerned, Seungcheol checks the peephole only to find a frazzled Mrs. Jung on the other side.
“It’s Mrs. Jung,” he hisses at Jeonghan, who’s putting the cap on his steaming travel mug of coffee.
Jeonghan looks at him quizzically. “Okay. So answer it?”
Seungcheol peers out once more. Mrs. Jung knocks again. “Get down,” he whisper-shouts. Jeonghan, rolling his eyes with a bit of extra aplomb, reluctantly crouches down behind the counter so Mrs. Jung can’t see him from the door.
“Oh, thank god,” Mrs. Jung cries before Seungcheol has even swung the door all the way open, “I was worried you had already left.”
“Just heading out,” Seungcheol says. “Why, what’s wrong?”
“It’s Hiyyih. She’s in so much pain, I think it’s appendicitis — I need to take her to the hospital right away,” she says, all in one breath, like it’s been pent up in her chest and can’t get out quick enough. “But Kai has this huge test first thing this morning, he’s been studying for days, he’s been working so hard and he just can’t miss it, but their father is in China for work and my mother can’t drive anymore because of her hip and my Lea doesn’t have a car at university, and I hate to ask this, but could you please, please drive Kai to school just this once?” The poor woman looks on the verge of tears, her voice quavering. “I will repay you with enough homemade kimchi and banchan to last a lifetime.”
Seungcheol — famously — is a weak, weak man. What’s he going to do, say no? So without a second thought, he assures Mrs. Jung, “Yes, of course. I’ll take care of it. Please hurry to the hospital with Hiyyih.”
Mrs. Jung breathes a sigh of relief, reaching up and planting a kiss on Seungcheol’s cheek. “Thank you so much, Seungcheol-ssi. He’s promised to be ready in five minutes, I’ll have him wait in the hallway.” And at that, she promptly turns on her heel and returns to her own apartment.
Seungcheol closes the door slowly. He hears Jeonghan snicker somewhere behind him.
“What if I took two trips?” Seungcheol asks suddenly, struck by a frenzied need to find a way out of this. He turns to his boyfriend, and he knows he probably looks insane, but this is not what’s getting him outed to the entire student body. It really can’t be. “I drive you separately, and Kai never has to know.”
“We don’t have enough time for that, and you know it.”
“Okay, what if I sent you in an Uber?”
Jeonghan snorts, making his way over to Seungcheol and placing hands on his shoulders. “Cheol. We do not make Ubering-to-work kind of money.” Unfortunately, he has a point. After all, there’s a reason Seungcheol lives so far out of town and Jeonghan lives in a (formerly) cockroach-infested basement studio.
“Everyone’s gonna find out,” Seungcheol breathes. “Students, parents, admin…”
“Maybe,” Jeonghan says. “And if they do, it’s going to be okay. We’re in this together. But we can’t let this kid miss his test, can we?” He dusts a kiss on the corner of Seungcheol’s mouth. “Can we?” He asks again, clearly looking for an actual answer.
Seungcheol sighs. “No.”
Jeonghan scrunches his nose adorably. “Okay. So let’s go.”
To his credit, Jeonghan is very patient as Seungcheol stares at the back of his front door and hypes himself up for what’s certainly going to be a very awkward interaction. Finally, with a reassuring squeeze of the waist from Jeonghan, Seungcheol slips out the door, where he’s faced with an anxious Kai waiting for him in the hallway.
Seungcheol takes a deep breath and summons the sternest look he can fathom. “Do not say a word. Not a word.”
He hardly has a moment to take in the puzzled expression on Kai’s face before Jeonghan nudges the door back open behind him and Seungcheol reluctantly steps away, allowing Jeonghan to emerge with a mischievous little grin. Kai"s eyes go wide as saucers. Jeonghan just winks, breezing past him down the hallway.
“You coming, Kai-yah? I hear you’ve got a test you can’t be late for.”
—
Kai is a great kid. He really is. But he cannot keep a secret for the life of him.
The beans get spilled to his friend group, and with this newfound information, Soobin (or maybe Yeonjun, or maybe Taehyun, or hell, all three) can’t keep their own secret about Seungcheol under wraps any longer. So naturally, all the entire third year class can talk about by lunchtime is if Mr. Choi and Mr. Yoon are boyfriends — or maybe they’ve been secretly married for a decade or — no, they’re too young to have been married for ten years — who cares, they’re old, all adults are old.
And then Beomgyu tells Sunoo, and then the entire second year class knows, and then... well, it snowballs from there.
Seungcheol is mortified.
Jeonghan, meanwhile, tells his first years he has an identical twin. He tells his regular track second years that he was just helping Seungcheol capture and free a family of cockroaches, and he tells his second year honors class that they were set up for an arranged marriage in Taiwan ten years ago. He tells his third year honors class the truth. The rumor mill has never been so active. It’s pure madness.
It’s the best thing that’s happened to Jeonghan all year.
—
It takes a few weeks, but when the school doesn’t explode and the earth keeps turning after this campus-wide revelation, Seungcheol has to admits that maybe Jeonghan was right. Maybe no one cares after all.
The final nail in the coffin is when, on one of the rare days Seungcheol and Jeonghan actually find themselves in the break room at the same time, the head teacher walks up and nonchalantly asks if the rumors are true. “Which ones?” Jeonghan asks. “The ones about me having a secret evil twin who works as an exterminator? I wish — I could’ve dealt with the cockroach problem at my apartment much more quickly. But unfortunately no, that one’s not true.”
The head teacher just laughs, shakes his head at Jeonghan’s antics, and walks away. Like it’s nothing.
Seungcheol watches him go, in shock. He feels like he’s malfunctioning. 404 Error: Page Not Found. That’s it?
He turns his attention to Jeonghan, leant against the counter and looking up at him with a soft smile. His eyes briefly dart around the room before determining the coast clear and surreptitiously sliding his hand into Seungcheol’s back pocket.
“I told you, babe,” he whispers, something just for the two of them. “No one cares. And anyone who does can eat my ass.”
“I’d really prefer they not,” Seungcheol whispers back. “That’s kind of like, my territory.”
Jeonghan smirks dangerously. “Oh, your territory, is it?”
Seungcheol just shrugs and steps away, trying but likely failing to tuck his smile into the corner of his mouth. Jeonghan lets his hand fall out of Seungcheol’s pocket. “Something like that.”
—
"I want to go hooooome," Seungcheol whines, not half a second after barging into Jeonghan"s classroom one Friday afternoon. "I want to go home and get into sweats and cuddle you until I literally burst into flame from overheating."
“One minute,” Jeonghan responds, not even looking up from his work, “I’m almost done, I just need to finish grading this extra credit assignment.”
“What did you make them do this time?” Seungcheol asks, and Jeonghan finally glances up to find his boyfriend draping himself over the desks in a way that cannot possibly be comfortable.
“I had them write fanfiction for one of the classic novels we read this semester.”
“You what?”
Jeonghan grins. He won’t lie, he’s pretty pleased with himself for this particular assignment. He gestures down at the paper he’s finishing up. “This one’s a little spicy, actually. I’m into it.”
Seungcheol sputters. “It’s… I’m sorry, it’s what?”
“Don’t get your panties in a bunch, you prude. It’s M-rated at most.”
“You’re insane,” Seungcheol says, and Jeonghan giggles.
“Yes, I am. Now shhh. Let me focus so I can finish this.”
Jeonghan loses track of Seungcheol momentarily as he finishes grading the assignment, but once he’s finally done, he files the paper away and closes the folder with a flourish. “Okay,” Jeonghan announces, “we can go now.”
He glances up to see Seungcheol has abandoned his strange perch on the desks, but sees him out of the corner of his eye next to him behind the desk, so he turns that way — only to find Seungcheol on one knee, looking up at him expectantly.
“Uhhh. What the fuck,” Jeonghan says, eloquent as ever.
“Will you…” Seungcheol starts, “Yoon Jeonghan…” — and wow, he’s really dragging this whole thing out dramatically, isn’t he — “please… move in with me?”
Without hesitation, Jeonghan shoves Seungcheol, sending him tumbling onto his butt. “Fuck you, my god.”
Seungcheol stays on his ass, unbothered. Grinning. “So is that a yes?”
Ignoring Seungcheol entirely at this point, Jeonghan gathers up all his things, tossing what he needs in his bag and slinging it over his shoulder, walking past Seungcheol towards the door. He’s halfway across the room when he finally answers, “I’ve had the movers teed up for months, I’ll have my place packed up by the weekend.”
Seungcheol, still apparently perfectly happy on the floor, calls after Jeonghan as he reaches the threshold of the classroom: “I love you."
In response, Jeonghan only flips him off and turns the light off on him. The last thing Jeonghan hears before he rounds the bend of the hallway is Seungcheol’s far-too-pleased-with-himself giggles.
Jeonghan can’t wait to annoy him 24 hours a day, seven days a week, for the rest of eternity.