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My cheek is against hers, I close my eyes and whisper into her ear.
“You know you never have to say it back,” I pause, taking a deep breath before I continue, “but I love you, too.”
I can feel Didania stiffen slightly and I turn, kissing her cheek before I pull away to look at her. Her brow is furrowed, thoughtful as she stares down at me. Panic rises in my gut. I open my mouth to speak, to apologize, but she speaks first.
“Is this what this is?” Her voice is barely a whisper, “This feeling?”
I watch her for a moment before I nod and add, “I think so.”
“But what if you’re wrong?” Worry tinges her voice as she continues to stare at me.
“I don’t think I am.” I offer calmly.
“What if you are, though?”
I take a deep breath and then let it out, “Then I’m wrong.”
“But I don’t want you to be wrong.” Her voice sounds slightly frantic as she searches my eyes, as if she’s trying to find the answer there.
Now it’s my turn to be thoughtful. I press my lips into a line and then smile and lift my hands making a grabbing motion. She raises an eyebrow.
“You could show me. With magic.” I explain, opening and closing my fists in the air. Didania blinks and then nods.
Carefully, she reaches a hand forward, her thumb radiating a bright gold light, and places her hand on my cheek, gingerly pressing her thumb there.
Love. It’s overwhelming, like gentle electricity. Excitement, caution, and even fear tangled up in it, but it’s obvious and abundantly clear. Purple lights bloom into existence around me, encircling the both of us. I can’t stop the tears that start to flow as I experience this raw emotion. I can start to feel her move her hand but I reach up and grasp it, keeping her there.
“Millie?” Her voice is so small, so scared. I smile at her and her eyes widen, confused. I sniffle and even giggle a little before I’m able to find words.
“I was right.” I wipe at my eyes with my free hand.
Didania looks stunned and then, slowly takes her hand back, skin and nail manifesting on her thumb before my eyes. There’s a moment where we’re just looking at each other before she shifts slightly, squinting at the comforter.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, hand moving to rest on her knee. She shakes her head and looks like she’s concentrating on something.
“I’m trying to say it.” Didania explains and now my eyes widen, the tiny lights fluxing slightly.
“I said you didn’t have to!” I fuss, reflexively squeezing her knee.
“But you want me to.” She looks up at me.
I stare at her. She’s right, I do. I take away my hand and allow her to focus. Then, she takes a deep breath, her face relaxing as she looks me in the eye.
“I love you.”
Didania’s voice is soft, gentle, and a little scared. Her anxiety is palpable as she looks at me with big blue eyes and I can tell she’s gauging my reaction.
My reaction is stunned silence; my voice thrown aside to make way for the sheer awe. The twinkling purple lights are shining so brightly. But she’s not paying attention to them, her eyes are on me. I clutch at my comforter, twisting the fabric in my fists; I’m trying to remember how to speak.
“I love you, too.” My words come out fast and breathy. I can feel my eyes getting watery, but I blink any possible tears away.
Relief. Didania is so easy to read, it’s one of the things I love about her. Her shoulders ease and she smiles, “Oh, it’s nice to hear it back. Fuck, it’s scary to say though.”
I giggle, the little lights shifting and swaying with me as I reach out and place my hand on hers. Immediately, she laces her fingers with mine, squeezing tenderly. I look up from our joined hands into her eyes and she’s looking at me so sweetly; her expression is so dreamy, so loving that I could cry. My face feels warm and I feel secure in a way I don’t think I’ve ever felt before.
Didania leans in, pressing her forehead against mine, we both close our eyes and she sighs, rubbing circles in my skin with her thumb.
“I love you, Millie.” Her voice is more confident this time. I smile and rub my nose against hers. Didania chuckles softly, “Okay, second time is easier…”
I grin at that, pulling away to look at her. She looks calmer, but with the same dopey expression as before. I sigh softly, squeezing her hand. She squeezes back. I look around at the little purple lights and they’re still here, flitting about in the air. I frown at them and Didania laughs gently, letting one fall on her index finger, melting into her skin like snow.
“This is just ridiculous at this point.” I gesture at the lights and she just continues to smile at me.
“I like them.” Didania grins and I melt, the lights pulsating excitedly around me.
“Hey, Didania?”
“Da?”
I feel sheepish, maybe even a little silly, “You know my head is feeling much better. We could… you know.”
She quirks an eyebrow at me, “You’re supposed to be resting.”
My face feels hot but I continue anyway, “I’d be on my back, that’s resting!”
She looks at me for a moment before taking a deep breath and exhaling loudly through her nose, “If you’re sure…”
I smile at her, nodding enthusiastically. The little lights are starting to finally fade out of existence.
Didania smiles back, coming closer and easing me back into the pillows. I oblige, looking up into her eyes. She’s looking at me so tenderly again, like I’m precious. Once I’m settled she shifts from being above me to my side, nestling down on her own side, a gentle hand coaxing me to roll to her and I follow her wordless instruction.
She leans in, pressing a kiss into my brow. Her words vibrate against my skull, “Moy milyy…”
Her voice is low and sultry, like warm honey. I let out a sigh as she pulls back slightly and brushes her lips against mine, kissing the corner of my mouth. I’m impatient; I turn, catching her lips with mine and I can feel her smile.
She wraps an arm around me, pulling me flush against her, deepening the kiss. I sigh into the kiss, raising my hand to cup her cheek.
Didania pulls away, her lips hovering over my skin, she kisses my chin, easing it up to get access to my neck. She continues, pressing kisses into my neck trailing downward to my collar bone. Her hand drifts down to my hip before sliding under my satin nightshirt. She reaches up to cup my breast, her thumb grazing gently against my nipple.
I take a deep breath of air and Didania eases me onto my back, she moves from my collar bone back to my face, catching my lips in hers. I hum, reaching up with both hands to grip lazily at her shoulders. She breaks the kiss and pulls back enough to look at me and I look at her, breath hitching in my throat. Didania is looking at me with a mixture of focus and tenderness, her blue eyes gentle and sincere.
“Millie,” my focus is entirely hers, “I love you.”
I press my thighs together and sigh; purple lights twinkle above my head. My eyes are half lidded as I look up at her.
“I love you, too, Didania.”
She grins softly at me, sighing before pressing her forehead against mine.
“I’m so glad you’re okay.” She whispers, laying beside me and suddenly I’m remembering the cave; the darkness, struggling against the stone restraints and the otherworldly feeling of my magic being siphoned out of me. I sharply inhale through my nose and she pulls back to look at me. She must have seen something because her face floods with concern.
“Millie? Are you alright?”
I nod blinking rapidly to avoid crying, “It’s just, it was really scary.”
Didania watches me, breathing evenly, as if she’s trying to stay calm. She reaches up and cups my cheek, not breaking eye contact.
“I’ll always come for you,” she leans in close, her breath fanning over my lips, “always.”
I press my lips against hers and she begins to ruck my nightshirt up and over my breasts. Then she pulls back, kissing my jaw and back down to my collarbone. Then her hand is cupping my breast and her head is hovering over my nipple briefly before she dips down, flicking it with her tongue before taking it into her mouth and nipping with blunt teeth.
“Didania…” she gently pinches at my other nipple, being wary of my piercing. She glances up at my voice, gauging my expression, before continuing. I moan softly, clutching at the comforter lazily as she works. I loll my head to the side and her mouth moves over to my other breast; her hand sliding down my front and under the hem of my satin night shorts, index and middle finger rubbing gentle circles over the fabric of my panties.
She bobs up from my nipple, blue eyes watching me in the dark, before coming up and kissing my ear, fingers rubbing down along the curve of my pubic bone.
“Millie…” her voice against my ear makes me sigh, “I love you.”
Didania moves my panties aside, touching me directly. Her fingers move through the slickness and I moan as she begins to gingerly rub circles around my clit.
“I’m going to take your shorts off.” She murmurs in my ear again and I nod, raising my hips to assist. She stops rubbing and moves to pull my shorts over and off, tossing them aside on the foot of the bed.
“Might as well… take off my shirt too.” I say, pulling it up and over my head. Didania extends her hand to me and I hand her my top, which she deposits near my shorts.
Didania pauses to also get undressed, pulling her tank off with a quick movement before throwing it behind her. Then she shimmies out of her briefs, also tossing them over her shoulder.
I quickly peel my panties off, pulling them down my thighs and then kicking them off lazily. I hear them fall to the ground and Didania laughs at my enthusiasm.
Then she looks down at me and sighs. I blink up at her, confused.
Didania smiles, chuckling gently. Everything about her is gentle right now. She must see the confusion in my face because she explains, “You’re so pretty, I like looking at you.”
Lights. The purple light plays against her pale skin and lights up her eyes in the dark; she smiles tenderly at me.
I’m so happy I was able to see her again, to be with her in this moment. I can feel tears in my eyes again. I try to blink them away but a few fall.
Didania leans in, kissing my cheek, hand cupping the curve of my stomach, and whispers, “So soft…”
I turn, catching her lips with mine and she kisses back, hand gliding down my stomach to my pelvis. She wets her fingers with slick before rubbing my clit directly. I moan into the kiss and she pulls away, kissing down my jaw to my neck and bites with blunt teeth. My breath hitches in my throat and I raise a hand to cradle the back of her neck, moaning. She sucks at my neck before letting go, leaving a delicate kiss where she bit. I feel myself melting at the attention as she slips a finger tentatively into my entrance, curling and rubbing at the sensitive nerves there.
Didania is going slow and being gentle, more gentle than she usually is. Her finger exits and this time she enters two, pumping lazily as her face leaves mine and goes back to working on one of my nipples. She nips and sucks and flicks her tongue, eliciting enthusiastic mewls from me. I’m trying to be quiet, we’re not using the sound dampener because it’s still downstairs on the coffee table.
She pauses her nipping and looks at me; I think she’s going to try to tell me to be quiet but instead she kisses me. I moan into the kiss and she breaks, looking me in the eye.
“I love you. Thank you for helping me figure it out. You’re so smart”
Didania begins to pump her fingers deeper, faster; barely giving me a chance to register her words. Purple lights dance around us. I open my mouth, but instead a moan comes out. She kisses my jaw and I try to speak.
“You’re smart, too, Didania.” my voice is breathy and thick with want. I feel her smile against my skin.
“A different kind of smart.” And she bites my neck again, sucking at the flesh. I reach up and bury my hands in her fluffy blonde hair.
“I… Di-Didania, I love you.” She hums against my skin and releases it, licking the skin there before pressing another kiss into my neck. All the while she’s still pumping two fingers into me, the pace quickening. Her head raises to look at me.
“Moy milyy…” she presses her head against mine and her fingers pause in their pumping as her breath fans against my cheek, “Can I…?”
I look down, eyes narrowing in the dark, trying to see. But I don’t need to see as she shifts, straddling one of my own legs; she leans down and I can feel the phallus she’s created grazing my inner thigh. I close my eyes and sigh, my want palpable as I move, spreading legs for her. She shifts, moving to kneel between my legs but doesn’t do anything, just looking down at my face, watching.
“Didania… please?” That’s what she was waiting for; she leans over me, briefly pausing to position at my entrance and prods gently, easing her length in slowly. I moan softly and she shifts above me, hands on either side of my head. I wrap my arms around her neck and she begins to thrust.
I’m reminded about just how gentle she has to be when she interacts with people, and just how gentle she’s being now as she thrusts harder, shifting to be on her elbows as she leans her head against mine. I’m a mess, melting under her movements, moaning into the night.
“Millie…” her voice is heavy with want, “I love you.”
I can’t respond, my head is spinning with stimulation. I’m only vaguely aware of the lights as I clutch at her back, digging my nails into her skin. I open my mouth, attempting to say something but my voice is caught in my throat. Didania lets out a low moan and finds my lips, pressing down hard.
I moan against her, the sound muffled against her lips. My hands scramble back up to her head and push down, deepening the kiss and holding her there. We continue kissing, relishing in the feeling of being intertwined. My hands ease, falling to the mattress and she breaks the kiss, briefly pressing her forehead against mine before moving to my ear and letting out a puff of breath. I shiver in anticipation for her words.
“Millie, come for me,” her voice is so soft and gentle, it’s almost a coo, “I’ve got you, I’m here.”
Didania nips at my earlobe and breathes through her nose into my ear. But I’m back in the cave again; it’s dark and my wrists hurt from struggling against stone. I wonder if I’m going to see my family again. I sharply inhale through my nose, tears beading at the corner of my eyes and I can feel her over me. She stops thrusting.
“Millie?”
I’m crying now, tears dripping down my face. I hiccup and burble. Didania begins to pull out and I place a hand on her shoulder, gripping tight. She pauses, looking into my eyes.
“No… I… I don’t want to stop, I just,” I take a deep breath, but the tears don’t stop coming, “Didania, I was so scared I couldn’t do anything.”
She looks at me with concern and she lays her head against mine, pressing a kiss into my cheek.
“I’ve got you. You’re here. With me.” She's flush against me now and I hug her tight, sniffling into her ear.
“I’ll protect you,” her voice sounds a little tight, “You don’t have to do things alone.”
I hiccup, struggling to regain composure, but I do after a few minutes. But I’m still a little weepy as Didania props herself up to look at me. I look back at her, sniffling.
“Are you sure you want to keep going?”
I nod, wiping tears from my eyes, “Yes.”
She studies me for a moment before pushing in again, slowly building up momentum. I sigh and she presses her forehead against mine, focusing on the feeling building in my stomach. I feel like I’m falling into the mattress, secure and protected.
“Millie…” Didania’s voice is a soft rumble and I want more of it; I moan, pulling her closer and she huffs a few soft chuckles as she continues to thrust, picking up the pace. The feeling in my stomach is rising, getting closer and closer to peaking.
“Millie,” my insides clinch at her voice and she notices, I can feel her smile against my cheek, “Are you close?”
All I can do is nod and moan softly. Words are lost to me now. I grab at her back, nails dragging against skin. The sensation keeps building and finally I spasm, pulling Didania close and sinking my fangs into her neck. She stiffens, letting out a stifled moan, her thrusts becoming erratic, riding out the feeling of orgasm with me.
I unclinch my jaw and let go of her neck, glowing liquid gold weeping from two small punctures. I lick at it, my first instinct is to pour magic into it, healing the wound, but I know how Didania feels about that, even in the haze of an orgasm.
Didania slowly pulls out and I watch with half lidded eyes as she falls back onto her knees. She looks down at me and smiles.
I smile back, “I love you.”
Didania grins and I can see her sharp teeth even in the dim, “I love you, too, moy milyy.”
The lights I had been quick to forget about brighten around us. I huff, frowning up at them and Didania chuckles, moving to pull the comforter over me, tucking me in.
I wave a hand at them, trying to dismiss them faster, “Shoo…”
Didania catches my hand and I watch her bring my knuckles to her lips, pressing a kiss there. I let out a sigh and she smirks gently at me.
“Don’t shoo them, I like them. It means I’m doing a good job.”
She moves to join me under the covers, opening her arms and beckoning me to come close. I rest my head on her shoulder, draping my arm across her front. She wraps her arms around me, giving me a tight squeeze. I smile, nuzzling into her neck.
I’m so tired. I let out a long yawn.
“Tired, huh?” I can hear the smirk in her voice, “Go to sleep.”
“Okay…” I close my eyes and let my consciousness drift, rapidly falling asleep in her arms. The last thing I remember is a kiss being pressed into my crown and a whisper.
“I love you.”