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“Chihiro!” Her mother’s voice is piercing, cutting through the noise of the cars rushing down the street. Two girls walking behind Chihiro stop dead and turn around to see what’s up.
“What?” Chihiro hollers, without looking back.
“Did you forget this?”
Now Chihiro has to turn around, which she does reluctantly. Her mother is standing in their doorway, holding up a navy blue notebook—ugh, she needs that for history class. She runs back to her house, dodging around the girls, and snatches the notebook from her mother’s hands. “Thanks, bye,” she calls, hustling back down the street. Those girls are definitely still staring, but whatever. She just hopes she’s not late for her first class.
This is Chihiro’s fourth week of high school, and so far, she’s not impressed. It’s not terrible or anything—most of her classes are pretty interesting, she’s got friends to sit with at lunch, and she’s thinking about joining the tennis club—but she was expecting some big leap, some whole new horizon. Instead, it’s just the same old stuff, slightly harder. Studying and homework, chatting with the other girls about exams and parents and crushes, quiet dinners with her parents, getting hassled to clean her room. The pattern of daily life that seems to satisfy everyone but Chihiro.
Her mother would say that Chihiro doesn’t want to grow up. But that’s not it, exactly. She wants to grow like a tree, putting down stronger roots and reaching up higher branches, until she’s sturdy and sheltering, the kind of person who can do something really worthwhile. But no one else around her seems to want that, and nothing she has to do seems designed to get her there.
Sometimes, in the midst of a particularly ordinary day, Chihiro has a thought that can’t possibly be true—and yet, there it is, glistening in her mind like a nugget of gold. Working for Yubaba was better. I should have stayed there instead. Of course it wouldn’t really have been better, not with her parents still pigs fattening for the slaughter, and half her real name missing, and Haku so sad, and that one frog going out of his way to comment on her “nasty human smell”. But in that unreal world, she learned how to be real, and there are moments when she aches bone-deep with missing it.
Chihiro makes it to school on time after all, and makes it through the first half of the day without her mind wandering too much. Her math teacher even pays her a compliment when she solves a particularly tricky equation.
At lunchtime, her friend Rika grabs her arm and pulls her over to a table. “I have to talk to you,” she explains.
Chihiro lets herself be dragged along, wondering what Rika is so desperate to share. Maybe she finally had a conversation with that one senior she’s been crushing on all month.
But when they finally sit down, Rika looks too serious for boy talk. Chihiro’s heart pounds, wondering if something really bad happened to Rika.
“Is everything okay?” Chihiro asks.
“Something…something spooky happened to me over the weekend,” Rika says.
“Spooky how?”
“You know that big shinboku tree at the top of the hill behind the baseball field?”
Chihiro nods.
“I was walking around near there on Saturday and I thought I’d take a break near there so I could look at it. You know I don’t really believe in spirits, but that tree is so old and beautiful, and I’m not up there that often, so I thought, why not? And I went over and looked at the tree for a while, just kind of like, gazing at it, and then…”
Chihiro leans forward. “What did it say?”
“How did you know it said something to me?” Rika looks a little alarmed.
“Spirits are real, and that tree is famous around here,” Chihiro says simply. “I bet it says something to everyone. What did it say to you?”
“First it said, I’m here. Just that. Not in a voice, though, just…”
“Just in your mind, like someone stuck the words in there,” Chihiro finishes. “Like you were reading them off a piece of paper.”
“Yeah,” Rika says slowly. “Have you been there before?”
“I walk by that hill a lot, but my mom doesn’t want me to go up there, so I haven’t been right to the tree. Why?”
“I’m getting to that,” Rika says. “So, after it said I’m here,, then I said, ‘Sorry,’ and I bowed as low as I could, and then it said, really gently, Don’t worry, now you know. It reminded me of my grandpa? Is that weird to say?”
“No, not at all,” Chihiro said. “Did it—he—did the tree say something else?”
“That’s the thing,” Rika says. “It said Come back with your friend Chihiro.
Chihiro starts. “Me?” Of all the things she might have expected Rika to say, this wasn’t even close to one of them.
“Yeah, you. I don’t get it, though. How could it know who you were if you’ve never been to see it?”
An idea starts to bloom in Chihiro’s head, thrilling her with the possibilities. Maybe it does know me. Maybe I’ve seen it before…
“It’s a long story,” she tells Rika, zipping up her lunch bag. “I’ll have to tell you after school. Can we go up there this afternoon?”
The rest of the school day passes by in a haze. Chihiro’s body may be seated at her desk, but her mind and heart are back in the bathhouse, watching the long line of spirits stream off the ship and onto the bridge, bowing politely as they pass. Did she draw a bath for the spirit of this tree? Did it pass her on the way to the elevator, or greet her as it walked up the stairs? And what does it want with her now?
Staring down at her history textbook, the characters blurring in front of her eyes, Chihiro allows herself to hope that this kami has some mission for her—or maybe knows someone she knows, from that other world. Lin, or Zeniba, or Kamaji. Or Haku…
“Chihiro!” The history teacher barks. “Are you daydreaming? That’s the second time I’ve asked you that question!”
The class giggles. Chihiro can feel her face getting hot. Or maybe, she decides grumpily as she tries to collect her wits and respond to the teacher, maybe the spirit is just mad at her for never coming up to see him. She shouldn’t get her hopes up.
****
After school, Chihiro meets Rika at the side entrance near the baseball field. There’s no practice today, so they cut through the field to reach the hill and start climbing, linking arms for stability. The grass is thick and lush, as though it’s never been mowed, and Chihiro feels oddly guilty to be trampling it underfoot. They brush past a tangled patch of wildflowers, and a bumblebee rises from the blossoms, whirring inches from Chihiro’s face.
As they approach the top of the hill, the shadows of the forest stretch out to meet them, dimming the warm afternoon light. Far in the distance, Chihiro can hear snatches of birdsong, and faint rustles that might be squirrels or rabbits. But around them and ahead of them is a deep silence, filling the space like water.
At the very top of the hill, firmly rooted in the place of honor, is the shinboku. Its broad trunk spans Chihiro’s entire field of vision, and the shimenawa tied around it seems to strain to span its bulk. There is no doubt in Chihiro’s mind that the spirit in this tree is powerful and wise.
Rika and Chihiro stop in unison a few feet away from the tree, as if an invisible barrier is preventing them from moving any further. Chihiro bows deeply once, twice; claps twice, the sound echoing in the stillness; bows deeply one final time.
Greetings, she says inside her mind, forming the word clearly and deliberately. She knows the spirit will hear her without saying the words out loud.
Greetings, little Chihiro. Greetings, Rika. The voice isn’t audible, but Chihiro feels the words vibrate through her, deep and resonant. It’s at once thrilling and comforting, that familiar feeling of utter strangeness that made her homesick in the spirit world but that she missed as soon as she returned home.
Why did you summon me, great one? How may I assist you?
There’s still no sound, but Chihiro swears the spirit chuckles. Always such a polite young woman. You said the same to me, when I came to that wonderful bathhouse and you showed me to my tub. What a relaxing place…
Chihiro isn’t sure what to say to this, so she simply bows again.
I see you walking in the fields, the spirit continues. I have been wondering about you. To have been removed from your own world and then returned—to have learned what it is like to be present among the spirits, and then to no longer see them—it must be somewhat lonely, isn’t it?
Tears fill Chihiro’s eyes. It is. She can’t say, can’t think, anything else, just lets the tears fall. Rika places a hand on her shoulder, gently. The silence around them seems to deepen, as if the spirit, and the forest itself, is holding still for her.
I see, the spirit says, and it’s like an exhale, a breeze sweeping away Chihiro’s sorrow. That bathhouse—I travel there quite a lot. I may have news from there, if you wish. Who do you miss?
A picture of Haku’s face appears immediately in Chihiro’s mind, as vivid and detailed as a photograph. His gentle eyes, his smooth, determined face, his old-fashioned haircut. No, she’d better ask after someone else first. She can’t be too eager…
The spirit is chuckling again. Your young man? Of course. I should have known.
Chihiro flushes hot all over. But after a few minutes of wrestling with herself, she decides that not knowing about Haku would be worse than being embarrassed, and so she presses, Do you have any news about him?
He left, of course. You freed him, little one.
Oh, yes. She was so happy to have given Haku back his name, to help him escape Yubaba. She shouldn’t be disappointed. And yet…
But the spirit continues. I have heard that since he left, he has returned to his own region. Buildings cover his river now, but it still flows underground. If you are seeking for him, it is possible you may find him there.
Chihiro wants to cry again, but this time from relief and joy. To speak to Haku again, perhaps to see him… Only her sense of what she owes the spirit prevents her from turning around and immediately running from the forest. She falls to her knees and touches her head to the ground. Thank you.
You are welcome, the spirit says. Please return to me as well, as you are able. The silence of the forest returns, deep and final this time. The conversation is over.
“I couldn’t quite follow all of that, but did he tell you where you could find someone you used to know?” Rika asks, as they climb back down the hill.
“Yes,” Chihiro says. She almost leaves it at that, but after her encounter with the spirit of the tree, she feels emboldened. “Someone very dear.”
****
The very next Saturday, Chihiro boards the bus and heads west. Inside her backpack are a small shimenawa, the pears her mother always buys for their home shrine, a bell, a candle, and some water and snacks, just in case. Clutched in her hands is a bouquet of flowers. Part of her feels a little silly, bringing all this stuff to summon and honor a spirit, when it’s just Haku, who already knows her. But maybe it’s different now that she’s out here in the human world. She doesn’t want to take any chances.
The bus is crowded, filled with people running their weekend errands and kids taking advantage of their day off. Chihiro gives up her seat to an old woman carrying two heavy grocery bags. It’s nothing at all like the ride on that lonely train through the sea to Zeniba’s house, and yet Chihiro can’t stop thinking about that time. The way her heart pounded, fearing she might be too late to help Haku. The silent passengers who drifted off the train at each stop, the growing darkness, adding to her sense that she might be the only person in the world. She was so afraid, and yet she went forward anyway. Chihiro breathes deeply, holding on to the ceiling strap, and tries to reawaken that courage.
Finally, the bus driver announces her stop. Several other people get off the bus with her, and Chihiro starts to panic as they all walk in the same direction. The apartment building looms into view, at least twenty stories high. All these people must be going inside. She isn’t sure what she was expecting to find—a little plaque with information about the old river? A courtyard with trees whose roots go underground?—but it wasn’t this. As the rest of the people from the bus stride confidently towards the entrance of the building, Chihiro falls back. Is there anywhere she could be alone? Will she have to take her offerings out of her backpack in front of all these people?
About fifty feet away from the apartment building is a bench, set back from the sidewalk, next to a spindly young tree struggling through the concrete. Chihiro collapses onto it, setting the flowers down beside her. A man in a grey suit walking by glances at her curiously. She puts her head in her hands, trying to work herself up to take out the offerings and make the bows. Maybe she could be bold enough to put the shimenawa around that tiny tree. It’s for Haku, she reminds herself, but it’s not really the same as the last time, is it? Just because she misses him…
“Chihiro,” a gentle voice calls. Chihiro looks up, and there he is.
“Haku!” She jumps up eagerly, looking him up and down. He looks a little older, somehow, but the warmth in his eyes is still the same. She puts her arm up—to hug him or shake his hand, she isn’t quite sure—but then puts it down again. “Oh, are you transparent here?”
“Not to you,” Haku says with a smile, and then he hugs her. His arms are warm and strong, and he still smells of clean, fresh water. Chihiro squeezes him tight, her fears beginning to vanish, the way they always do when Haku is around.
“I brought you, um, these,” Chihiro says when they pull apart, opening her backpack to show him her supplies. “And these flowers, too.”
Haku pulls out a pear and bites into it with an enthusiastic crunch, licking the juice off his lips. “Mmm, these are really good. You’re so thoughtful, Chihiro.”
“I thought maybe you wouldn’t come without some more ritual,” Chihiro explains. “Since your river isn’t really here anymore. How did you find me?”
Haku’s smile is wide and bright. “I’ve been looking for you. I knew you would come someday.” The questions swirling through her mind must be visible in her eyes, because he continues. “Once you’ve been in our world, you’ll always be closer to us than most people. You’re not quite back in the human world, not the same way you were before. You’re still a little bit on our side. It makes you easy to spot.”
“It’s kind of terrible,” Chihiro blurts out, before she can stop herself. Tears sting in her eyes, and she blinks them back.
Haku gently guides her back to the bench. “Here, come on, let’s sit down. What’s so terrible about it?”
Chihiro explains everything. The months and years since her return to the human world, all the ways she’s tried to be normal again and failed. Entering high school, believing it would be grown up in the ways she wanted, realizing it was more of the same. Everything she misses from the bathhouse, even though she was trapped there. Haku listens intently, the bouquet of flowers resting on his lap.
“Why didn’t you come find me before?” Haku asks. He doesn’t sound accusatory, just curious.
“I didn’t think I could,” Chihiro says simply.
Haku nods. “I understand that. But now that you know…” He hesitates a little, the first time she’s seen him look so doubtful. “Please come back more. I’ve missed you.”
Chihiro’s heart swells, brimming with joy and fondness and courage and certainty. She takes Haku’s hands in hers, leans in, and places a gentle kiss on his lips. Haku’s smile, when she pulls away, is like the sunrise. “I’ve missed you, too.”
They sit on the bench for a while longer, talking of this and that. Haku tells her about some of their friends from the bathhouse, about life after leaving Yubaba. When it starts to get late, Chihiro stands up.
“I’ll be back as soon as I can,” she tells Haku.
Haku pulls her in for a hug and another soft kiss. “I’ll see you soon.”
When he vanishes, Chihiro takes the shimenawa and wraps it around the little tree. She hangs the bell on one of its scraggly branches. She places the candle and the remaining pears at the base of the tree. She tears a piece of paper out of her notebook and writes, Dedicated to the spirit of the Kohaku River, flowing beneath this sidewalk. Then she looks around for the flowers, to place near the pears. They’re nowhere in sight. Haku must have taken them back with him. The thought makes her smile.
Her arrangements finished, Chihiro gives a final, deep bow. Then she turns around and heads back to the bus stop. As she walks, she feels life all around her—not just the people she passes in the street, but the presence of all kinds of other things, in the trees and the streets and the buildings, as if her senses have been heightened. And flowing through her like a river, Haku’s promise. I’ll see you soon. She’s miles away from her house, but in this moment, Chihiro is home.