Actions

Work Header

Medic and Engineer get saw trapped by Greymann

Summary:

Basically what the title says. Not exactly a faithful recreation of saw, i got the idea for this after watching the first two movies. There may be a reference or two snuck in somewhere though.

 

A familiar face appears on the screen: Greymann. He clears his throat and begins to speak.

“Greetings, Dr. Ludwig and Mr. Conagher. I’m sure you’re wondering where you are, and what on earth is going on. Well, I can tell you that you two have been kidnapped by my robots and placed in this room for a very important purpose. I would like to hire you to design a new mercenary for me: one that is half human, half robot.”

Medic and Engineer share a glance as the TV continues.

“You see- my robots tend to be flimsy, and cost a lot of money to power. However, human mercenaries are not nearly as obedient, and are often annoying. Your task is to design something that solves both these problems.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1

Summary:

warnings in the tags

Chapter Text

Medic jolts awake to the feeling of being shaken.

“Doc!! Doc, wake up!!”

“I’m awake, I’m awake! What is it!?”

Medic blinks open his eyes to see… almost nothing. It’s incredibly dark in the room that he’s in, but he can make out the figure of someone kneeling over him. He frowns in confusion, trying understand the situation. His coat seems to be missing… along with any weapons in it.

“What’s going on?”

Medic can immediately tell that this is not his bedroom- nor any other room in the base. Pretty much everywhere in the base smells like gunpowder and Spy’s cigarettes- this place smells musty and old, like a carpet that had tea spilled on it some years ago and never been cleaned out. Come to think of it, the surface beneath him does feel suspiciously like an old carpet- prickly to the bare skin of Medic’s cheek.

The figure above him lets out a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness. I thought you were gone for a second there, pardner.”

Medic frowns in recognition. “Engineer? Is that you?”

Engineer extends a hand to help Medic to his feet, and Medic takes it gratefully.

“It is indeed pardner. You alright? Not hurt or anythin’?”

“I’m fine. Where the hell are we? I can’t see a thing.”

“Not sure, sorry. Some kind of office, from what I can tell.”

Medic scans his memory for how he might have ended up here. The last thing he remembers… they had been in a battle against the robots, when something weird had happened.

He had been trailing behind the team’s Soldier and noticed a sentry buster heading for the Engineer’s nest. Shortly after, he and the Soldier had been killed and sent to respawn. But when they had made it back to the battle, the nest hadn’t been exploded- not even the man’s lawn chair had been damaged- the only difference was that the Engineer had been nowhere in sight.

Medic recalls that sometime later, he had noticed that the robots mysteriously stopped shooting at him- shortly before a bag had been thrown over his head from behind. He doesn’t remember much after that.

“Engineer! What happened to you when that sentry buster showed up?”

“Well, I saw it comin’ from a mile away. I picked up a tool box and ran towards it, thinkin’ I could trick it into blowin’ up early. Instead of blowin’ up, a hatch opened, and it leaned down and scooped me up. Scared the livin’ daylights outta me, that’s for sure. Bumped around for a bit before finally bein’ spat back out in the middle of a crowd of robots and well, next thing I know I’m wakin’ up here, next to you.”

Medic considers this information carefully. Nothing that Engineer just described can possibly be good, and it’s very clear that this is extremely premeditated. If they had been taken by robots, then it was safe to assume that Greymann is behind the whole thing. The fact that they had been taken at all implies that whatever they’re here for is not something they would choose freely.

A risky idea crosses Medics mind. “Is there any chance we’re still connected to respawn?”

The blurry figure of the Engineer seems to stare at nothing for a moment before responding: “My HUD says we’re too far away.”

Medic remembers the existence of the Engineer’s robotic eye. He realises that the other man can probably see a lot better than he can. Thank god for god complexes.

“Can you spot a lightswitch or something? Perhaps way out?”

Engineer looks around before making a sound of exclamation and walking towards something, leaving Medic stranded in the dark. A ‘click’ can be heard, and suddenly the room is injected with a stream of warm green light. Medic blinks, his eyes readjusting, and spots the source of the light: a reading lamp sitting on a large wooden desk. Two chairs are tucked in at the desk, and the space on top is occupied by a neat pile of lined blue paper, another neat pile of regular paper, and a collection of pens and pencils. Behind it, a large chunky television screen sits in a shelf built into the wall. Under the TV is a fax machine, also sitting in space built into the wall.

Surveying the rest of the room, Medic can see the two walls perpendicular to the desk are lined with book shelves, and the wall far opposite has a door with no handle. Medic rushes to the door, but with no handle or clear mechanism for opening it from the inside he finds himself quickly stumped. Engineer seems to be far more interested by the TV. He presses a button and the screen comes to life, drawing the attention of both mercenaries.

A familiar face appears on the screen: Greymann. He clears his throat and begins to speak.

“Greetings, Dr. Ludwig and Mr. Conagher. I’m sure you’re wondering where you are, and what on earth is going on. Well, I can tell you that you two have been kidnapped by my robots and placed in this room for a very important purpose. I would like to hire you to design a new mercenary for me: one that is half human, half robot.”

Medic and Engineer share a glance as the TV continues.

“You see- my robots tend to be flimsy, and cost a lot of money to power. However, human mercenaries are not nearly as obedient, and are often annoying. Your task is to design something that solves both these problems. I would do it myself- except the knowledge I have of human anatomy pales in comparison to your extensive experience, Dr Ludwig. Or should I say- Mr Ludwig.”

Medic scowls at the TV. It’s true of course, his ability with a scalpel is second to none. In fact, he has defied modern medicine more times than he cares to count- thanks to a certain deal he had made many, many years ago. If only good old Lucifer had known what that scared little 12 year old would go on to do with the power he gave him…

“Mr Ludwig, you’ve been meddling with the structure of human beings for your entire adult life. I know for a fact you’ve wondered how to improve the human design many times. Your experiments have come close, but never quite perfect in my opinion. Simply because you have been held back: by your peers, by society, but also by lack of resources. This is an opportunity to let your creativity flow.”

Medic’s gaze hardens, and he folds his arms over his chest. He doesn’t recall asking this skeleton’s opinion on his work.

“As for you Mr Conagher, you too have experimented with the limits of the human body. While Dr Ludwig’s work led him to test on others, you have tested on yourself.”

Engineer stiffens in his chair, glancing down at the glove covering his robotic hand. Glancing with his robotic eye.

“And I must admit, Mr. Conagher, your work is as impressive as my own. In fact, you come from a long line of brilliant inventors. I actually take great inspiration from your grandfather, the late Radigan Conagher. I met him not long before you were born, you know. He had some very interesting insights to share about my robots- he even helped me perfect the final design that you fight every day. Brilliant man. I expect nothing less from you.”

Engineer feels that familiar lump in his chest. His entire life, he’s been compared to his grandfather ‘the great Radigan Conagher’. The man was also the reason he had been lumped into this mercenary job in the first place: his grandfather had invented the immortality device, as well as the respawn machine. Don’t get it wrong- Engineer loved his grandfather, and had been stricken with grief after the man passed away- but the pressure to live up to his family’s standard was often overwhelming.

Engineer’s passion had always been machinery- same as his grandfather and his father- but unlike his predecessors, Dell Conagher had never wanted to be a mercenary. He had wanted a REAL engineering job- but his family had insisted that he continue their legacy with Mann.co. Dell had even tried to get other jobs- but everyone who had agreed to hire him had mysteriously gone missing. Twelve PHDs couldn’t help him escape from that, unfortunately.

He doesn’t MIND mercenary work, he likes hanging out with his team, but the difference was that each of his teammates either had previous mercenary experience or had at least killed someone before joining. Engineer had never killed anyone before he got the job. He didn’t like the idea of killing at first- using the excuse that his machines had done the killing, NOT him himself- but eventually, he had just had to get used to it.

Engineer stifles a weary sigh as Greymann goes on.

“Now, there are some conditions with your hire, of course. You have three hours, beginning immediately once this message ends. If you attempt to escape, or tamper with ANY of my equipment, this entire room will set on fire. If you succeed, you will be rewarded. Further instructions will come through the fax machine below the TV. Good luck.”

The TV screen switches to a three hour countdown. On cue, the fax machine starts to hum and a sheet of paper with instructions slowly spits out. Medic snatches the paper- it holds a list of information for the pair, as well as conditions on how the design ought to be.

Engineer leans over to see the paper. “What does it say Doc?”

“How to use the fax machine… conditions… -here, you read it.”

Medic shoves the paper toward the Engineer and begins pacing furiously around the room. Engineer skims over the paper, before it placing on the desk. He walks over to one of the bookshelves, scanning the covers.

“These are all Medical books… these must be to help you with perfecting the design.”

Medic scoffs, and Engineer crosses the room to the other set of bookshelves.

“Hm… Engineerin’ books. Psh, as if I’m gonna need these.”

Engineer keeps looking, eventually finding something of interest: the previously mentioned blueprints for all of Greymann’s robots. Engineer gazes over them in wonder, bringing them over the desk to study. Medic takes little interest, still pacing.

It won’t be a difficult task- when it comes to defying God Medic and Engineer go together like grit and gravel, fire and gunpowder, Australians and Australium. In fact, there’s no doubt in Medic’s the mind that he and the Texan can easily design an extremely capable cyborg mercenary. The issue that Medic’s worried about is Greymann.

Why would Greymann need new mercenaries? To gain the upperhand on fighting the Mann.co mercenaries, of course. Whatever design they created, they would have to fight later on, assuming they even survived this situation. Who was to say that Greymann wouldn’t just kill them once he was done with them? Medic can’t see any reason to let them live, that’s for sure.

“Doc? What’re you thinkin’ about?”

“It seems that our options are ignore him and get killed, or do what Greymann says and get killed afterwards anyway. Not excellent choices.”

Engineer considers this for a moment. “Yer right. We need some sort of incentive beforehand.” He walks over to the TV and begins to fiddle with the buttons.

Medic rushes over to stop him. “What are you doing?? Did you not hear the part where he said he would set the room on fire??”

Engineer blinks, realising what he had been doing. Tinkering was simply a second nature for him.

“Right. Should probably have a go at using the fax machine, huh.”

He takes a piece of paper and pencil from the desk and scribbles out a message, before feeding it into the fax machine to be scanned and sent to another machine somewhere else- presumably where ever Greymann is.

The machine hums for a moment, before completing its task and going silent. The countdown pauses, but nothing else happens.

“Hm. Maybe it didn’t work quite right.”

Engineer reaches out to fidget with the settings, but Medic grabs his hand and stops him with a death stare.

Medic goes back to pacing around the room, and Engineer goes back to staring at the blueprints. After a moment the screen flickers and switches to blurry footage of a person tied to a chair in a blank room. Medic practically throws himself towards the desk to see what’s going on- but stops short as soon as he recognises just who’s sitting in the chair.

“Scout!?”

The camera is eye-level and only shows one part of the room, but Scout seems far more occupied with shouting at whoever is behind the camera than anything else. After a moment, bits and pieces of audio crackle over the speakers.

“Wha----you want from---??? ---let--e go, alr--------Where---- I???

Medic and Engineer can get the general gist of what he’s saying. A Medibot and an Engibot come on screen and make their way over to him. The Engibot adjusts Scout’s chair to a laying flat position, as the Medibot produces a cloth and a jug of water.

“---OP!--------LET M--------TIN CA------CK YOU!!-----GET AW------------MmMgm!--murGHMmG-!!------*gasp*--mmfgmMmMM-----MRGLE--!!!

Medic and Engineer watch in horror as their robotic counterparts begin to waterboard their coworker and friend; placing the cloth over his face and slowly pouring water on top. Scout’s legs kick spastically, and neither Medic nor Engie can do anything he writhes in place. The TV mercilessly delivers the fuzzy but unmistakable gurgled screams of their colleague, as both Medic and Engineer instinctually cringe away from the sound.

The screen abruptly switches to Greymann once more.

“The longer you take, the longer my robots will spend torturing your friend. Is that incentive enough for you?”

The screen returns to the resuming countdown. The two mercenaries turn to look at each other in a panic. Engineer puts a hand to his forehead and turns away, unsure what to do. Medic stares dejectedly at the screen.

“Well, that certainly changes things.”

Engineer stops for a moment. “We’re still gonna to die at the end of this, aren’t we?”

“Ja. Except now Scout will die too. And the sooner we get this done, the sooner he will be put out of his misery.”

“Shouldn’t we hold out hope that the others will come to rescue us??”

Medic looks up at the Engineer, exasperated. “In less than three hours?? WE don’t even know where we are!!”

“Who knows how long we’ve been here already! Surely the Administrator has noticed THREE mercenaries missing by now, won’t she have sent Miss Pauling after us? Lord knows, if anyone can find a needle in a haystack, it’s her. And who’s to say Greymann won’t keep torturing Scout- not to mention US- for kicks if we fail?”

“How can you be so sure we haven’t been replaced by Spybots? If that’s the case, it could be DAYS before anyone notices, let alone comes to our rescue!! Our best option is to do as Greymann asks as soon as possible and hope that we don’t piss him off any more than we already have.”

Engineer scowls at his colleague. “That’s coward talk right there, pardner.”

Medic glares right back. “What do you think Scout would say if we could ask him, huh? Do you think he would want to be killed quickly, or be waterboarded for at least three hours and THEN killed? If we do get rescued, you can let him know that YOU made that decision for him.”

Engineer goes silent, still scowling. Eventually he deflates, and flops into the chair next to Medic.

“Fine. What choice do we have.” Engineer grumbles.

He rips a piece of blueprint paper from the pile and flattens it on the desk in front of both of them, and grabs a pencil.

“Where’s that piece of paper sayin’ how we have to make this design?”

Medic finds and hands Engineer the piece of paper. Engineer skims it over, then pushes the blueprint paper over to Medic.

“You draw the human outline, and we’ll start from there.”

 

After forty minutes of working, the pair have perfected their design as far as they can tell. A regular human, with a couple adjustments to make them stronger and more durable. Not going overboard, but still hopefully meeting all the requirements.

The solutions to Greymann’s requests had been simple- a secondary motherboard implanted into the brain to ensure control and obedience, and a carefully designed energy converter attached to the stomach, made to generate power for the mechanical parts from regular food. As for extra additions, Medic had suggested metal casings to cover ribs to stop them breaking so often. That would certainly be helpful to anyone trying to heal the cyborg, as Medic often found himself having to glue ribs back together. Engineer had suggested brass rings imbedded into knuckles, to hit harder and reduce the risk of breaking a fist when punching at the same time. Medic and Engineer had been careful not to make these adaptations TOO helpful of course, knowing that their colleagues would have to fight them in the future.

Once the pair are both satisfied, Engineer takes the previous piece of paper out of the fax machine and replaces it with their blueprint. The machin begins to hum once more. Medic is glad that they managed to get it done so quickly- perhaps Greymann underestimated the ability of two highly capable characters. After all, he had given them bookshelves full of information that they already knew- although, the books were likely more for flammability rather than actual use.

This whole room will probably go up in flames very soon, Medic thinks to himself. Honestly, he’s not all that afraid to die himself (what with his 8 extra souls and all), but Engineer doesn’t seem to be that afraid either. Strange.

Engineer tries his best to still the terrified fluttering in his chest. He’s going to die. In a fire no less. The only thing left of him will be the parts of his body he replaced with metal. Almost funny, that the mortal flesh that he had tried to throw away will drag him down with it.

The timer pauses, and the pair wait anxiously for the TV to change. When it finally does, they are greeted by Greymann once more. He holds up a copy of the blueprint, looking it over briefly. When he finally puts it down, his expression is unimpressed.

“Tut tut, it seems that you two have rushed your work. This is fine, I suppose, but you really haven’t gone far enough in my opinion. This isn’t a cyborg, this is barely even an exoskeleton!”

The man chuckles at them from the other side of the screen. Not a happy chuckle, more like an annoyed chuckle. Like how a parent might scoff at a child who refuses to do their chores.

“These are all individual adaptations- the mechanical needs to be fully integrated into the human system. However, since you two DID spend a whopping 40 minutes on it, why don’t we give it a go anyway?”

The screen switches back to Scout, still strapped to the chair and thoroughly soaked. The Medibot from before turns and wheels out of view. The Engibot re-adjusts Scout’s chair into a taller, slightly sloped position before stumbling away. Scout’s chest heaves up and down, and even through the grainy footage the man is looking rather green. Once again, grainy audio leaks from the TV.

Engineer puts a hand over his mouth and leans away.

“Oh god… Scout…”

Medic can guess what’s going to happen next, but he can’t look away. Morbid curiosity tugs at the back of his mind.

“-----get away --rom me---*cough cough*---Stop----what are y------oing now??

The Medibot and Engibot return, now with various tools suited to each of their duties as well as a copy of the blueprint each. The pair of robots get to work, mostly covering the two human’s view, as they start cutting and drilling into the young man tied to the chair. Scout writhes, screaming in agony, and more robots come to help hold him down. More robots rush on and off, supplying the pair with fresh pieces of metal hand picked to fit the design exactly, and each piece of hot metal is fitted into Scout’s flesh. Medic and Engineer are completely unable to look away, as they watch their friend being forcedly transformed into something totally unrecognisable.

The Medibot digs large trenches of meat under the ribs to make room for metal strips, which burn away blood and steam horribly. Engibot takes a pointy, scrapey tool and uses it to carefully remove the skin covering veins and arteries in the back of Scout’s hand, before popping each knuckle out, sawing them off and filling in the cavity with brass bearings. The sound of Scout’s screaming and crying fades into silence and his figure goes still, finally passing out from the pain.

A large machine is wheeled onscreen by other robots, one with huge, sharp shards of metal in all shapes and sizes. One of many mechanical arms descends, attached to a massive saw. The saw circles gracefully around Scout’s scalp, cracking open the skull so that the Medibot can expertly scoop out ‘unnecessary’ pieces and Engibot can tuck a small device inside. A long, protruding arm with a very thin blade makes a long incision over Scout’s torso with expert precision, allowing the young man’s soft, glistening organs to protrude from the opening. The Medibot digs a metallic hand into the delicate pocket of flesh, like a kid digging for their favourite flavour jelly bean, finally finding the stomach and stabbing the robotic device into it before unceremoniously dropping it back down. Third and forth arms extend from the machine, one to sew the opening back up and one to solder the pieces of Scout’s skull back into one.

After what feels like years, the robots finally clear away from the burned and broken body. Dried blood cakes too many nearby surfaces, and steam pours off the still-warm metal. The body lays still for a moment, holding Medic and Engineer on the edge of their guilty seats. An electric ‘bzzt’ crackles over the speakers as Scout convulses, but goes still once more. Two more ‘bzzt’s later, Scout finally groans awake. The Medibot and Engibot adjust his chair up to sitting position once more.

The young man looks far worse than before- his chest inflates and deflates at an infuriatingly slow pace, he can barely keep his eyes open, and a thin stream of blood drools down the front of his chin.

A new sound plays- a ‘beep’ that causes Scout to freeze perfectly in place. Small tears well up in his unblinking eyes, rolling down a now totally blank, expressionless face.

Greymann’s voice comes over the speaker, uncaring and almost amused.

“Hm… the remote control aspect seems to work well, but I was hoping you could remove the existing personality completely. Total submission even without mind control, you know? Anyway, there’s a lot to learn from here. I’ll provide you with some notes for your next design. Still, this is a worthy prototype.”

Engineer and Medic’s stomachs both drop in unison, and they share a horrified look. Engineer begins to hyperventilate. Medic reaches out to calm him down, but his attention is snatched by the TV once more as the loud ‘CRACK’ of a gun comes over the speakers. Medic watches the pale frame of Scout flop back down into the chair, a gaping red hole in his forehead.

Medic groans in relief, but his relief quickly sours to confusion. The body is unstrapped and hauled away off screen, and after a few seconds a troupe of robots carry a kicking, screaming, perfectly whole Scout back over to the chair.

Medic’s heart skips a beat.

Greymann has a respawn machine.

And he’s going to keep using it on Scout until they make the ‘perfect’ design.

 

This is going to be a lot more complicated than Medic had thought.