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“Fuucckk!” Steve kicked up the speed a notch and fought the urge to look over his shoulder. He could picture the thing in his mind's eye as it gained on him inch by inch. He could feel the cold clammy touch of it's fingers on the skin of his neck as reached out to make the kill. Screaming in a tone that was definitely more four year old girl and less seasoned warehouse agent he half levitated out of the bed pulling the blankets with him.
Panting heavily, back against the wall, Steve took in the area around him searching for the creature that had been pursuing him through his dreams, but it was gone. Vanished in the cold light of morning and reality. He was home, safe in his room at Leena's. On his bed was a deliciously naked Joshua Donovan who was about a gazillion steps up from a nightmare creature as far as Steve was concerned. Joshua was giving Steve his half amused, half concerned smile that was usually reserved for Claudia or Pete.
“That's not the reaction I usually get when I kiss the back of your neck.” Joshua smiled, his body language open and telegraphing that he was willing to listen if Steve wanted to explain, but that he should not feel compelled to if it was outside of his comfort zone. When it came to understanding how interacting with artifacts could give you nightmares and strange reactions to normal every day things Joshua was near the top of a very short list. Not that being kissed awake by Joshua was nearly every day enough for Steve.
“Sorry.” Steve took a deep breath to calm himself then moved back to the bed taking the time to admire the man who was currently sprawled bonelessly across it. Joshua's dark hair and pale skin made for a contrast in shades and colors that made Steve wish he had the ability to capture them on paper or canvas. “I was having the weirdest dream.”
“About what?” Joshua slid closer, wrapping himself around Steve and sighing contentedly once Steve crawled back into bed and draped the covers back over the two of them.
“Krampus.” Steve shuddered and shifted closer to Joshua's warmth.
“The evil Santa clone?”
Steve pulled away and studied Joshua's face in surprise. “You know about Krampus?” He stopped, closing his eyes for a second and taking a deep calming breath. “Of course you do. You're related to Claudia the queen of Christmas and internet memes.”
Joshua chuckled, the sound rumbling in his chest. “I work at Cern remember? A third of the people I talk to on any given day speak German as a first or second language. Krampus is as well known as Santa much more feared.” Joshua snuggled down pulling Steve with him so that he was half lying on Joshua's chest. “In fact you could make an argument that Santa and Krampus echo the Judeo-Christian concept of reward and punishment. If you're good then you're visited by Santa the Christimas version of going to Heaven. But, if you're bad, for a given definition of bad, usually meaning you broke one or more of the societal taboos then you get a visit from Krampus, Christmas Hell.”
Steve blinked then frowned considering Joshua's words. “I thought he was just a way to keep the kiddies from driving their parents and everyone else crazy.”
“I'm sure that was one of the goals though in a bigger, cultural sense, the purpose of a boogie man, Krampus or devil archetype is that even as an adult it makes you think twice about stepping over the line dictated by the norms of the society.”
“Sounds pretty sneaky to me.” Steve sighed deeply letting the heavy feeling of comfort that came from being near Joshua sink in. There was something safe and grounding about him that made Steve feel like nothing could touch him when he was in Joshua's arms. It was a strange role reversal since Steve was usually the guardian and protector of the people he loved. Not that he wouldn't give his life to keep Joshua safe. Shaking off that thought Steve raised his head and grinned up at Joshua, letting it deepen and soften when Joshua carded his fingers through Steve's short bristly hair.
“Maybe a little, but effective too. It's hard to argue with thousands of years of success. Most social norms are in place for a reason such as protection of vulnerable people such as children or the elderly.”
There was a tone to Joshua's voice that Steve couldn't quite get a handle on though it touched something deep and sad within him. Shifting gears he raised up on an elbow and kissed Joshua softly. Flopping back on the bed he stretched before curling back around Joshua. “When did you find out that Santa wasn't real?”
Joshua pulled back a look of mock horror on his face. “He's not? Who's been eating the cookies I left out all these years?”
Snorting with barely suppressed amusement Steve patted Joshua's cheek. “Of course he is dear. Forget what I said.”
“We've moved from coming out stories to when we found out about Santa. Is this forward or backward progress in our relationship?” Joshua raised an eyebrow, good humor tugging at the corner of his lips.
“Sideways, which really isn't too surprising.” Steve splayed his hand on Joshua's stomach than let it drift to settle on his hip. “I was ten. All of my friends said he wasn't real, but I knew he was because Olivia said so and I believed everything she told me. She was older and I hero worshiped her like Claudia does with you.”
Snorting back a laugh Joshua patted Steve lightly on the butt. “I might not have your talent, but even I know that's a lie.”
Ignoring the comment Steve pushed back slightly against the palm of Joshua's hand as he continued his story. “There was this bike, a silver BMX, that I wanted more than anything and Christmas morning it was sitting under the tree with a big red bow on it waiting for me. I was so excited.” Steve grinned, his eyes shinning from the memory. “I ran upstairs and got dressed so I could ride it around the block and show it off. Didn't matter that it freezing cold and starting to snow. I was at the end of driveway when I saw the corner of the box it came in sticking out of the garbage can. I went back in the house and yelled at Olivia and my parents. I spent the whole day in my room and refused to even look at the bike for a week. I think...” Steve paused, swallowing when his voice cracked. “It's the first time I can remember being really mad at her and the last time I didn't know someone was lying to me.”
Wordlessly Joshua pulled Steve close cradling the back of his head when Steve buried his face in the crook of Joshua's neck. With the other he made slow soothing circles on Steve's back. “Claudia and I used to fight all the time when we were kids. I can't even begin to count how many times I've been angry at her. I'm not sure there is even a number big enough to calculate it, but it doesn't mean I ever stopped loving her or that she cared any less for me.” He kissed the top of Steve's head then rested a cheek against it. “Siblings fight. It's the natural order of things. Neither one of you is or was perfect. It's okay to remember the bad times as well as the good ones, it lets her be human.”
Steve stiffened then slowly relaxed as the truth of Joshua's words made their way through his defenses and circled the pedestal that he'd kept Olivia on since her death. “I know. I miss her.” He pulled in shaky breath that shuddered through his body and followed it quickly with another. “I wish you could have met her. She would have loved you and Claudia.”
His words were choked with emotion and the honesty cut Joshua to the core. He tightened his hold wanting to shield Steve from the pain even though he knew talking was the first step on a long road to healing. “I'm sure we would have loved her too. If she was anything like you how could we not?”
There was a watery laugh from the vicinity of Joshua's shoulder and Steve pulled away slowly scrubbing a hand over his face. “Because I'm so easy to love.” The slightly self deprecating tone was firmly back in place though it carried with it a wistful undertone.
“Yes.” Joshua nodded in agreement as he lowered his head for a kiss. “That is exactly the case.”
Leaning into the kiss Steve was amazed to realize that, at least in his mind, Joshua wasn't lying.