Chapter Text
Leshawna had gotten a better night's sleep than she had in over a month. She still had to share a room, but Bridgette was a more than okay roommate, and no longer did she have to hear the sounds of the studio or toss and turn before she could find a comfy position on the stiff cabin beds. It was a shame they’d have to go back tomorrow.
Surprisingly, there wasn’t any arguing over any room assignments. Everyone knew Bridgette and Leshawna tossed and turned in their sleep so no one wanted to share with them. Gwen and Heather had shared a room as a team since the beginning of their tenure on this show and said that they might as well keep the tradition going, and they were completely indifferent to sharing with Beth since she always fell asleep instantly and slept like the dead.
Besides, they all knew Heather would likely end up sneaking into Duncan’s room anyway. As the team captain, Duncan got a private suite due to the odd number of people they had. They had been given five rooms total, and with the exception of the captain’s suite, they were told to figure it out themselves.
Heather claimed there was nothing going on and she preferred to sleep next to or in the same room with someone she was comfortable with, but none of them completely bought that. Leshawana didn’t know what was going on between them, nor did she care. That was their business. Sure Heather could probably do better, but who was she to judge, it was her life and Leshawna had had her fair share of questionable romances and crushes. Heather surely knew that. She was the one who had tried warning her about Alejandro after all.
Leshawana was ashamed to admit that she had fallen for his lies so easily. She had wanted to feel fabulous, to feel seen and heard. Leshawan had always viewed herself as a leader, as someone who stood up for others, but all that had been slowly washed away, piece by piece the longer she remained on this show. By the third season, her confidence was almost completely gone. The second season had really taken a toll on her, the lie about the spa, trash talking the others, dealing with Courtney, Chris’ further glide into insanity, losing for a second time, it was all too much, and by the time it was over, Leshawna had felt like she had lost a piece of herself.
Sure, she still had a few friends, and her family, and she had even gained a new friend in Heather, but she had still felt empty afterward, and her friendship with Heather didn’t last long anyway. Not after Heather had gotten into that internet feud with Gwen, but then Gwen went on a downward spiral of her own and took the rest of their friendship with it. They were better now, but nothing was the same. Not like it had been in the first season.
So when someone as handsome as Alejandro had come along, someone as suave and charming, and seemingly nice as him, Leshawna had fallen for him instantly. Had let his words glide over her like honey. The more and more he had seduced her, the more and more she felt like her old self again. Her confidence, her stride, her fabulous soul, she had felt it all come back. It was why she had been angry enough to slap Heather during the challenge where she had warned Leshawna. This girl would make fun of her dancing then pretend that she actually gave a damn about her or anyone else? Hell no. Not on Leshawna's watch.
When she had gotten eliminated, and his true intentions revealed, you’d think that it would all come crashing down, and regret would come seeping into her veins. Instead, all she felt was anger, anger at him, anger at Heather, anger at the world, and more importantly, anger at herself. She just hadn’t known that at the time.
As soon as she had gotten back from filming, it really gave her time to think. Without all the cameras, without a crazy host trying to stir up drama, and without stupid challenges or contestants all draining the life out of her. In truth, though she had said she didn’t regret slapping Heather, and in some ways she didn’t, call it a delayed reaction if you will, she did miss her odd friendship she had developed with her. Yes she could be nasty and cunning, but in a way, Heather was refreshing. Unlike Courtney, or Alejandro, Heather never presented herself as anything other than exactly who she was. In a way, she was one of the most genuine people she had met. Leshawna still remembered how Heather had been the only one to defend her after she had got caught trash talking everyone.
The problem was that she had remembered everything else too. Leshawna remembered the first season very well, had remembered the way she had insulted her hair, her body, her clothes, and had called her ghetto. In the second season, Leshawna was willing to look past all of that when Heather had stood up for her, she had figured it was her way of apologizing, but then Heather had gone and ran her mouth on the internet and Leshwana realized Heather was still full of shit. In Leshawna’s mind, her thoughts were vindicated when she later made fun of her dancing and claimed to warn her “girl to girl.” Again Leshawna thought Heather was full of shit and hadn't actually changed.
At least, that’s what she had thought. She couldn't think about it for more than a couple minutes at a time or her brain would hurt. Leshawna wanted to prove herself right, to prove that she didn't make a mistake in the third season, like she had done in the past.
That’s why Leshawna had been so intrigued while they were all strategizing when Heather had mentioned she had read a book, a book on racism? The thought weirded her out, made her uncomfortable in a way, because maybe Heather wasn’t as shallow or as stagnant as she had thought. Or had hoped she was really.
It had been tickling the back of Leshawna’s mind since dinner last night, the high of their win fading with each day that passed, the dreaded return to their abnormal lives drawing near with each passing hour. Leshawna couldn’t help but observe Heather, she and Duncan made it hard to ignore them with their explicit and melodramatic flirting. They were like a Disney couple from one of those movies, except they were both bordering on an R rating, and were beginning to grate on her nerves.
That wasn’t what was on her mind right now though, Duncan didn’t matter to her. She would say Heather didn’t either, but she’d be lying. She was roommates with her, she used to be friends with her, and she had known her years. If she compared the Heather from a few years ago, even when they were friends, to now, the difference would be incomprehensible. Heather had grown slightly more tolerable over the years, but never did Leshawna picture she’d be someone she would actually want to be friends with. They had been once upon a time as she said, but even that wasn’t particularly deep rooted. It was the type of friendship where you saw the person a few times a year and occasionally got manicures or went shopping together.
Leshawna now saw a difference in her, but she couldn’t quite figure out what, and as short lived as it had been, Leshawan did truly miss what little friendship they did have. Heather was honest in a way that no one else was, the honesty was cruel sometimes sure, but she has got better at presenting it over the years. Her cruel honesty was better than the fake friendship or the dishonest cruelty of others.
Besides, Gwen and Bridgette weren’t into fashion and beauty the same way Leshawana was, and Lindsay, while fashionable, wasn’t exactly stimulating. There were things she could discuss with Heather that Lindsay would never understand, even if Lindsay’s brain was more developed in certain areas. They were both women of color, and while they had different experiences, it'd be interesting to talk to someone about their view of it in the fashion and beauty world. They were all stuck with each other, Leshawna might as well make the best of it.
Whatever the reason Heather had for her change, Leshawna needed to find out, and she intended to. Before everyone else arrived for their spa day. That’s what led Leshawna right outside her door at eight-thirty AM on a Sunday morning. Leshawna knew she’d be up, she always was one of the first ones up when they were back at the studio, so Leshawna wasn’t concerned about waking her. She also knew Heather would want to get to the hotel’s spa a little early to look at all the products they had. Leshawna had the same idea.
With nerves she didn’t know she had, she rapped her knuckles softly on the door. Even with the light action, Leshawna knew Heather would be able to hear. That girl had the hearing of a dog.
The door swung open and Heather was standing on the other side, fresh faced and clad in the hotel’s robe. Her hair was held back with one of those white, large, wrap-around headbands, her perfect bone structure on full display. Leshawna wasn’t one to degrade her own looks, she was fabulous after all, but God really did play favorites. Even in no makeup and covered almost head to toe in a fluffy robe, you couldn’t help but stare at her. She could see why Duncan, and many others, were so mesmerized by her. Her beauty was almost inhuman, ethereal in a way and it reminded her of that one blonde chick from that HBO show, except without all the crazy and the dragons. That woman was also white obviously. Harold had been trying to convince her to watch it, but based on how much he talked about it, Leshawna felt like she already saw the whole thing.
Heather stared blankly at her, and opened her mouth after a couple of seconds of silence, Leshawna having the words stuck in the back of her mouth. “If you're looking for Gwen, she and Beth are still asleep. You could come back at ten when it’s a little closer to our time slots. I was just about to head up to the spa with Harold to look at all the stuff, but I can leave them a note for you.”
“I’m um, actually here to see you.”
Heather gave her a wide eyed stare, a deer caught in headlights, an unnerved expression on her face. “Why would you want to see me? Are you here to yell or hit me again? Because if it’s about what I said before the challenge the other day I didn’t intend for that to come across as offensive or insensitive or anything. Or is it about Harold? Is he okay? Is he annoying you? Because he’s been going on and on and on about-”
“No, no, no, no, no, it’s not about any of that, it's actually about- well actually, it is about the thing you said during the challenge the other day, but not in a bad way. I’m not mad at you, just curious.”
Heather looked at her. Expectant look on her face. The look of caution replaced with one of confusion. Leshawna decided to continue on to try and alleviate more awkward tension. They had never spoken one on one since Action and the following aftermath episodes.
“It’s just, I’m curious, when exactly did you start reading about segregation in pools? Was that before or after you made fun of my hair?”
“Right around the time I started reading more about the international slave trade, residential schools, and all the history that followed. I guess you could say I'm a bit of a history nerd now. I told you you could borrow the book, I’ll just have to find it when we get back.”
“That really wasn’t the question. When did you start reading about shit like that, was it before or after you were a complete bitch to me?”
There was a brief pause. Heather’s expression remained unreadable, she always did have one of the best poker faces here. Most of the time anyway. “After.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. I’d say it was right after my blog war with Gwen, I had a lot of time on my hands, as she said. So I just threw myself into other things. I figured it’d be better than going to a bunch of parties no one wanted me at.”
Leshawna couldn’t help herself and asked something a more timid contestant would be too afraid to ask. “So did you really not get asked to homecoming that year?”
“Yes, and many dances after that, but whatever. Who really wants to be in a smelly gym with people they don’t like anyways? I had better things to do.”
“What, like makeout with your cat?”
Heather only glared at her, and it reminded Leshawna why she had come down here in the first place. “Sorry, that was uncalled for, I guess I’m sorta just surprised.”
“What that I read? Or that I’d rather not spend time with a bunch of people who hate me?”
“No, no, I knew you read. I just figured you wouldn’t throw yourself into something so…positive? It sounds mean, but I can’t help but think it.”
There was a brief pause, as if Heather was thinking about what to say. Leshawna missed how people did that. Leshawna couldn’t tell if she had offended her or not, which wasn’t her intention. Leshwana genuinely did want to bury the hatchet with her, and for a moment, Leshawna couldn’t tell if she had ruined it.
“You’re right though. I’m not exactly known for my more… positive or productive attributes, but it’s always sorta been a thing I’ve done. Throw myself into my hobbies or skills or education. At least when I’m at home. It might come as a shock to some people, but I have always enjoyed reading and learning. I mean, I’m kinda a slow learner, but it’s like being transported to a whole different world sometimes. An escape… My sister always said that books we’re better than people. I was just following her advice I guess.”
When Leshawna didn’t respond, Heather continued. “Like I said, I know it comes as a surprise, especially since I’ve thrown myself into plenty of petty arguments or internet feuds in the past, but I guess at some point I realized that that wasn’t helping me at all so I just…stopped and did other things. Besides, it’s not as if I had consistent access to the internet or my bedroom or anything, so I couldn’t even do that if I had wanted to.”
“Well, better late than never I suppose, and- wait. What do you mean by you didn’t have consistent access to your bedroom? What does that mean?” Leshawna raised her eyebrow at her, intending to dive deeper. That is, if Heather would let her.
A fearful, more panicked expression crossed Heather’s face and she shook her head as if to deny her own words. “No, um, nothing. It’s not important. What were you gonna say before you cut yourself off?”
“Just thanks. For laying off and stuff, and I know it’s a little late, but thanks for warning me about Alejandro. You didn’t have to do that, just like you didn’t have to stand up for me a few years ago. So thanks. And I suppose I should apologize too, you know, for slapping you… then for bragging about it later.”
Heather gave her an incredulous stare, “you’re apologizing…to me?”
Heather quickly turned her head to the side and mumbled beneath her breath. “No one has ever apologized to me before.”
“Well, yeah. I did something wrong, and I’m saying sorry. That’s how it works. Have you really never had anyone apologize to you before?”
“Irrelevant, but really, I should be apologizing to you too. I know I haven’t always been the nicest in the past, and I’ve crossed the line like many, many, many times, but I’d like to think I’m making some strides. So, I’m sorry. I’ve been really shitty, towards you especially, and there really isn’t any excuse… Even for a million dollars.” Heather took a big sigh and continued speaking.
“I’m sorry for making fun of your clothes, your size…your hair, and I’m especially sorry that I called you ghetto. I know it doesn’t make sense, but I didn’t really understand what I was saying, and I’m sorry. I mean I definitely intended to insult you and everything but, I didn’t intend for it to be like racist or anything. So I’m sorry. That’s it.”
Leshawna took a breath, she didn’t realize how comforting a genuine apology could be. At this point in her life, Leshawna was used to all sorts of shitty behavior from rich and poor people alike. Was used to the insults about her weight and her race. She usually just let it glide off her shoulders, Leshawna knew who she was, and she never let anyone else define her. She wasn’t weak, she didn’t need anyone’s remorse, she only needed herself and her confidence in her own abilities. The people who had wronged her in the past never stuck around for long, and if they did, the wrongdoings they were apologizing for were never typically a huge deal. Didn’t matter. That’s how she wanted to live her life, in the present moment, look too far back and you could get lost.
This was different though, whether she liked it or not Heather was a fixture in her life, and would remain one for as long as the show remained in production. This wasn’t some random person who had wronged her in the past and was now reaching out to her, destroying her peace. This was someone she shared a history with, and not all of those memories were unpleasant either. They shared a bunk space together, like it or not, and ate breakfast in the same tent, whose names were posted on the same bathroom schedule.
They could ignore each other, as they had been doing, but shock as it might, Leshawna wanted to accept her apology. She felt liberated in a way, she had no room for bitterness in her life, it only led to wrinkles and other unpleasant things. She couldn’t hold onto that hatred, that anger and resentment, not just for Heather’s actions, but her own. Maybe Leshawna was finally ready to forgive herself too.
Leshawna supposes she had remained silent for too long as Heather continued speaking. “And you totally don’t have to accept my apology or anything. Hell, I typically think apologies are meaningless and self-serving anyway, but I figured since we’re talking and you said sorry, and meant it, I should too. After all, we are kinda roommates, so we’ll be seeing a lot of each other.”
When she didn’t respond again, Heather started shutting the door, “well um, if that’s it, I’m gonna go finish getting ready. I should probably eat something and phone Duncan’s room and tell him I’m down here.”
“Wait Heather, I was actually gonna say, I accept your apology on one condition.”
Heather gave her a suspicious look and raised an eyebrow, “and what would that be?”
“You have to accept mine too.” Leshawna gave her smile, a real smile, not a gloating or sarcastic one she had been using for her as of late. Heather gave her a genuine smile of her own, and for the first time in a while, Leshawna was unshocked at the girl’s reaction.
“Well, now that we’re even…What happens now?”
“Well, friend, I was gonna ask for your help picking out what color to paint my nails. Got any ideas?”
“Do you think they can do nail art here? Because you should totally do something pink and sparkly, and ooohh with cheetah or like leopard print or something. That would be so totally you, and so cute!”
“Now that is an idea! Any idea what you’re gonna do yet?”
“Well, I was talking with Duncan yesterday, and we were thinking that I should do-”
“What are you guys doing out here?” Gwen’s voice cutting through their conversation.
Heather turned to Gwen, giving her bed head and eye bags a good look “I thought you were asleep? And you are changing before we go right?”
“Why? It’s not like we’re going outside, besides, it’s a spa, we’re supposed to relax, everyone will be in robes, why should they care?”
“Eugh, you’re at least gonna brush your teeth right?”
“No Heather, I was planning on going exactly like this- aaahhh,” Gwen leaned up into her face and opened her mouth wide so Heather could get a good whiff of her morning breath.
“Eeewwww! That is so gross!” Heather screeched and pushed Gwen away from her as she was cackling.
The commotion woke Beth up, who shuffled up next to them. “What’s wrong? Is everyone okay? I heard screaming.”
Leshawna was the one to answer as Gwen was still chuckling to herself, and Heather was sniffing herself as if Gwen’s rank morning breath had rubbed off on her. “Ha, we’re fine Beth, Heather is just being a drama queen.”
“I was not! Gwen is just totally gross!”
“Ah come on, I was just having a bit of fun! You make it so easy to mess with you, and don’t act like you’re so perfect in the morning either. Your breathe probably reeks too, you just wake up early enough so you can primp and perfect yourself before Duncan wakes up”
Beth's voice cut through the conversation once again, “wait, you spent the night with Duncan last night? Again? Were you guys safe at least?”
Leshawna turned to her, a quizzical expression crossing her face, “Damn Beth, how early did you pass out last night? Even I knew that’s where she was going and I was in a completely different room. Word travels fast around here.”
Instead of getting a response, Gwen decided to keep pushing the issue that Beth had raised. “Well Heather, did you? We’d all like an answer here, we really don’t need a mini version of you two running around just yet.”
“We did NOT do anything okay. We didn’t even cuddle, we’re just friends, we slept next to each other, and occasionally held hands, that was it!”
Beth, Gwen, and Leshawna all turned towards her, their skepticism reading on their face. Words being unnecessary to express their disbelief at her claims.
“Guys, if we had sex last night, don’t you think I’d seem a bit happier right now?”
The three of them looked at each other, then back at Heather. They all knew she had a point. She still seemed slightly too tense, not nearly laid-back enough to have done anything with him. It was universal girl code that wherever a girl had sex she always got a little bit dumber, a lot more relaxed, or both. Right now, Heather was none of the above.
“Damn, I suppose you’re right, but like, you didn’t do anything? At all? Are you sure?”
“No. Nothing. I told you nothing.”
“I am curious though Heather, do you? Have feelings? For him?”
“Because if it’s his feelings that’s holding you back, you’re good there. He looks at you the same way he looked at Courtney, the same way he looked at me, and I’ve never seen him this clean before! It’s almost hilarious how whipped he is for you already! Next thing you know, he'll be wearing long pants.”
“I think it’s rather sweet how much effort he’s putting in for her.”
“Sweet? I was gonna say pathetic.”
“Girl, I was gonna say both, it’s so pathetic it’s sweet.”
“Ha! Leshawna, you took the words right out of my mouth! Anyway Heather if you’re worried about his feelings you totally don’t have to be, the other day he told me-”
“Gwen! We can’t betray Duncan’s confidence like that! I didn’t tell Heather that he told me that he thinks about her all the time and likes the way she smells and the way she tosses her hair, and the way she- oh shoot! I wasn’t supposed to say any of that! Duncan will be-”
“Duncan will be what?” Duncan rounded the corner, a small paper cup in hand. Steam rising from the cup, the fresh aroma, and the mixture of milk and honey hitting their nostrils.
“Duncan? Since when do you drink tea?”
“I don’t. This isn’t for me, it’s for Heather.” Duncan turned to Heather, but before he could hand her the cup, he took a sudden step back and looked at her in her entirety. “Wow…you are breathtaking.”
“What? I’m not even wearing any makeup, and I haven’t even done my hair. Why do you think I haven’t let you see me like this yet?
“What? You think that no makeup and no hairdo and suddenly you're not the most beautiful woman in the whole world? Be real, I’ve seen you bald and with a few black eyes, you were gorgeous then, and you’re gorgeous now. Anyway, My Lady, your tea. Oolong with milk and honey, just the way you like it.”
Heather gave an uncharacteristically demure smile and took the cup from Duncan’s outstretched hand. “Thank you. How’d you know I was down here?”
“What? You think I don’t know my girl? No but seriously, there were only so many places you could be, and when you weren’t downstairs getting your tea, I figured you came back here. I wasn’t sure if you got your morning pick-me up yet, so I figured I’d deliver it just in case.”
“Well thank you. Hey, did you get my biscotti?”
“No, I ate it. Sorry. I can get you another.”
“No it’s okay. I can just get one myself, thanks though. Have you seen DJ or Geoff yet? Is DJ still freaking out about his feat getting touched?”
“Nah, haven’t seen them yet, I’m on my way to go see them now. I wanted to see you first.”
Heather let a grin slide across her face, it reminded Leshawna of the Grinch when his heart grew three sizes after getting his Christmas spirit back. Heather looked down at her feet, intending on hiding just how much his words affected her. Leshawna would find it cute if they both weren't so nauseating.
“Um, you’re going to see them now?”
Beth, Gwen, and Leshawna observed them and their bright smiles they tried to hide beneath their smirks. It was like watching a crash test, except more awkward and a lot more romantic.
“Yeah, I’m going to meet them in their room now. Wanna come with? I’m sure you could help talk some sense into DJ, for whatever reason you seem to have a soothing effect on him.”
“I would but I promised Harold I’d go see him before we go up. He's freaking out because he’s afraid he’s going to overheat or contract some sort of infectious disease at the spa, so now I have to go talk him off the ledge.”
“Well, goodluck with that. If you change your mind or finish early, you know where to find us. You can even bring Harold if you like.”
“Thanks. See you soon?”
“Definitely. One more thing though, you’re staying with me again tonight yeah? I’ve gotten used to laying next to you and your heavy breathing.”
“It’s not that heavy. And yes, yes I will.”
“Don’t worry, it’s cute. Anyways, see you in a bit. Good luck again with Harold, hopefully he doesn’t delay you too much.”
“Oh he won’t, I’ll make sure of it.”
Duncan gave one of his typical shit-eating grins as he made his way back down the hall. “Bye Heather! Oh and you guys too, see you later.”
Heather raised her hand to give a cute little finger wave. It was exactly the type of flirty and feminine reaction she’d expect of her.
It was Gwen who spoke up first. “So…Just friends huh?”
“Could we just drop this? I am so not ready for this right now.”
Beth spoke up, her shy voice loud enough for only the three of them to hear. “But…why?”
“Can we not talk about this please? My brain hurts.”
“Alright, but if you ever get tired of being a wuss, you know where to find us.”
Beth followed Gwen back into the room, her voice carrying as they left them out in the hallway. “Gwen! That was really mean! Heather’s obviously feeling very insecure right now! We shouldn’t make her feel any worse than she already does!”
Heather was rubbing her temples when she was left there with Leshawna, standing in the middle of the doorway, and Leshawna leaning up against the wall next to her.
“So…Do you want to talk about it? You know, without those two breathing down your neck?”
“Agh, I don’t know. I certainly can’t talk about it with Harold or Cody. At least, not yet, not until I’m sure of everything.”
“If I can ask, what are you not sure of?”
“...Everything?
“Of what? Duncan?”
“I guess? Not really, it’s complicated.”
“How? Are Cody and Harold making things complicated? Do you not like him? What?”
Heather slid down to the ground, her silence permeating the hall for a couple seconds. Leshawna sat down next to her and spoke truthfully. “You know you can tell me if you want.”
“I’m just very confused, and I don’t know what to do.”
“Do you know what you’re confused about?”
“Yes, kinda.”
“Is it about Duncan and his shitty track record?”
“A little, but it’s more than that.”
“You gonna elaborate?”
“I just don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship right now, ready to lose our friendship.”
“Hey, you’re not going to lose your friendship with him. If anything it’ll make it better, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Duncan is not the same guy he once was, and you’re not the same girl.”
When Heather didn’t respond, Leshawna decided to dig some more. “Is this about Alejandro? Are you still in love with him or something?”
“Alejandro? No, God no, but I don’t want to hurt him. I still care about him and I don't know, it’s only been like less than two months since we broke up, and as silly as it sounds, it’d feel like a betrayal. Besides, that’s not the only reason I’m so hesitant.”
“Well he can’t expect you to wait until he’s comfortable for you to get with someone else. You can’t help how you feel, they’re your feelings, and I’m sure whatever it is will work out.”
Heather was silent again, several seconds, several minutes, it could’ve been either, but Leshawna could tell she was thinking. She was working up the nerve to say whatever it was she wanted to say next.
“It’s about my family.”
“...What about your family?” Leshawna could feel the nerves uprising again. There had always been rumors about Heather and her family, mainly her parents. None of them truly believed them. Or more accurately, wanted to believe them. They couldn’t be true, it was too horrifying a thought to entertain. Moreover, it made them see things in grey, not in the little boxes they were so used to putting things in. For it to be true, they’d then have to learn to extend their empathy, or risk looking like jerks. They didn’t really realize at the time that just because you feel sorry for someone, doesn’t mean you have to forgive them. They were too immature for that kind of thinking two years ago.
“Let’s just say I’ve got issues with my parents. We all do, my siblings and I. I won’t get into all the details now, but recently, for you know, reasons, things have gotten worse. Like I said, I won’t get into it now, but I have too much on my plate right now, too much responsibility, too much shit. Besides, I don’t know how Damien would react. I can’t drop another thing on him, not now, he didn’t even like Alejandro.”
“You’re gonna let your dumb parents stop you from being happy? Girl that’s stupid.”
“It’s not that simple. You don’t understand. You don’t get it.”
“You’re right, I don’t. I never will, but that doesn’t mean that I’m wrong. You can’t let two people dictate your life forever, and Damien will get over it. Besides, didn’t he put glue in your conditioner? You can date whoever you want, within reason obviously.”
“I won’t let them dictate my life for forever, I just need things to smooth out first. I need to figure myself out first.”
“Then you’ll be waiting forever.”
“Hey!”
“I’m just saying, you say you have things happening now that prevent you from being happy, but how do you know that shitty things won’t happen a couple months from now? Or a year from now? Or even ten years? You can’t wait for your whole life to start when everythings good and happy and perfect.”
When Heather didn’t respond, Leshawna decided to continue and get all her thoughts out. “Everyone is a mess in some way or another, some are just more honest about it than others. I mean yeah don’t dive into a relationship if you’re in like a mental institution or whatever, but everyone’s got some sort of mental illness nowadays, you're not special.”
Leshawna chuckled at her own comment, and Heather soon followed suit. Heather turned to her and let a fraction of a smile fall upon her own face, her light chuckle emanating through her body.
“Hey, Leshawna. Thanks.”
“Anytime girlfriend, and for the record, Gwen was totally right. Do you even see the way he looks at you? He didn’t even look at that stupid tarantula Scruffy that way, and he totally is soooo whipped, I mean knowing just the way you like your tea?”
“You really think so?”
“Girl, I know so, I mean I’ve never seen him shower so much, and since when does he wear aftershave? Or change his socks everyday? He’s trying to impress you!”
“Well, I might have suggested something like that a few weeks ago.”
“And did you hear him talk about applying to a few different mechanic and body shops? He digs you!”
“He is not, he did that entirely himself. He’s just trying to earn some money and find something to do.”
“Please, he’s totally trying to show you how responsible he is!”
“Then why hasn’t he asked me out if he likes me so much?”
“Do you have any idea how intimidating you are? You are waaayyyy out of his league and I wouldn’t blame him if he feels he has to prove himself, especially since you two are friends and don’t wanna mess that up.”
“Well, whatever, enough about me, I’m sick of talking about me. What about you? Anything new in your life? Any new romances?”
“No, I’m just loving things with me, myself, and I. Can we get up from the floor now? The carpet is giving me a rash and hurting my butt.”
“I should probably go get Harold now anyway. He’s probably talked himself into a frenzy, so I’d better go calm him down before it’s too late.”
“Would you like some help?”
There was a brief pause, as if she was debating on whether or not she could trust her. There was an imperceptible smile that crossed her face.
“I’d like that.”