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Feed Your Ego

Chapter 8: Mask Off Mask On

Summary:

Roman finds comfort (finally)

Notes:

Thank you all for reading, hope you enjoy this last chapter!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

After Roman had regained his sight, he tried to explain when the episodes would come on as best he could, but he was exhausted and so was Thomas. Patton ushered Thomas to bed and Janus whisked Roman off for a nap, muttering about giving the others a verbal lashing. Unfortunately, even with Janus at his side and the comfort of the dim glow of the strings in the room, Roman was still too on edge to sleep. Plus, he could see how Logan was practically vibrating with questions and how both Virgil and Remus were tense with worry when they sank out earlier. Roman sighed for the third time in as many minutes.

“Sleep evading you?” Janus asked from his side.

Roman nodded. He felt Janus scoot closer.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Roman shrugged. “I think I’m just…a little embarrassed? I didn’t mean to cause a scene about something as silly as needing compliments and attention.”

Janus grunted and swung a leg over Roman so that he was practically straddling him. He poked Roman in the chest.

“Roman. You are ego. And creativity. Of course you need those things and it's not silly that you do,” he said, outlined by the room’s golden shine.

“Yeah but-”

“No buts!” he waved a hand at the strings around him, “See the gold? No room for arguments here. And trust that I will be drilling the same notion into dearest logic and morality.”

Roman laughed, putting his hands on Janus’s waist to steady him, “Alright, alright. Stupid magic room,” he said. Janus smirked at him and adjusted the pillows behind Roman. He leaned down to peck him on the forehead.

“Do you still want to try and sleep?” Janus asked.

 Roman hummed. “Still feeling shaky,” he admitted.

“You know,” Janus said with a grin, “a face mask could help you relax.”

Roman snorted, “Because we have a great track record with those,” he said. He blinked, the gears in his mind churned curiously. “Actually- back when you said you were going through your inventory and needed help testing your masks out, was that a lie?”

Janus tilted his head, “Well. Technically no. Why?”

Roman grinned, sat up, and whispered in Janus’s ear, “I’ve come up with a dastardly scheme.”

“Oo,” Janus said conspiratorially, “I know you’re teasing, but I must say you’re rather attractive when you’re scheming.”

The room flashed gold.

“I suppose the scheme could wait until a little later,” Roman said and pulled him closer.

-

Later that evening, Roman had everyone gathered in the common room. He summoned an aromatherapy diffuser and a few candles.

“Thank you everyone for coming. Virgil mentioned that everyone has been on edge, lately, and I think we all agree,” Roman said to the room, “so I believe a Spa Night is in order!”

Remus was already on the couch, somehow with his facemask already set. He was chewing on the cucumbers on his face.

Virgil poked at one of the colorful facemask pots set out on the table- different textures, sizes and scents arranged in a neat square. “And these are all Janus’s? Are we sure none of them are…toxic?”

“Some are,” Janus sang, pulling Roman to the couch with him, “Russian roulette rules.”

“They’re all safe,” Roman called. Virgil squinted and gingerly chose a lavender and honey fusion.

“Facemasks are an excellent way to decrease physiologic and subjective stress responses,” Logan said thoughtfully, “A 2023 study by Wakui et. al showed relative effectiveness with the orange-lime scent,” he chose an indigo pot with the same scent.

“This one smells like gingerbread!” Patton exclaimed and grabbed a bright blue sheet mask.  

Logan sighed, “Once again the scientific method has been overshadowed. This time by…gingerbread.”

Logan was still muttering but let himself be pulled by Virgil to the couches.

“You know,” Janus said quietly as Roman spread his chosen lemon-scented mask on one side of his face, “it’s kind of you to gather everyone like this, but it’s alright if you’re upset with them for treating you the way they did. I know I am.”

Roman hummed. Apparently, Janus wasn’t as quiet as he attempted to be because Logan spoke up.

“Janus is correct, Roman,” he said, “from what you explained earlier, the numbness you were experiencing wasn’t simply from any criticism of you but directly from implying you are unwanted or lack a function.”

Roman paused.

“You’re not,” Logan immediately followed up.

“Right,” Roman said, “I know that.”

Logan nodded decisively, but Janus found Roman’s hand and squeezed.

“Why did it have that effect on Roman, though?” Patton asked, he had stopped sniffing different pots and was sitting up straight. Roman tried not to shift under the direct gaze.

Logan began applying his own facemask, “Everything is functionally a representation of Thomas’s state of mind. With parts of his mind telling him his creativity lacks function, that erroneous concept must have manifested physically.”

They stared at Logan. Logan sighed.

“We told Roman he was useless so his hands and vision, essential to his function, stopped functioning," there was a chorus of 'oooh's, "We must take strides to ensure it never happens again. I will formulate an action plan for us to go over soon.”

Patton swallowed audibly. “We really made you feel like that, Roman?”

Roman’s eyes darted around the room. He felt Janus squeeze his hand again.

“Yeah, you assholes did,” Remus called, he was now eating his facemask from the pot like yogurt, “blech-citrusy.”

“And made him think like he was doing it on purpose,” Janus said, face neutral like it always was around the others, but Roman could see the glint of steel in his eyes, “I mean I thought we were done shunning parts of Thomas but apparently-”

“I thought I deserved it,” Roman cut in, voice small. Janus’s mouth snapped close. Roman wasn’t sure where to look so he just concentrated on the feeling of the speckled lemon mask he was putting on Janus. “I thought Thomas was getting rid of me because he didn’t need me anymore.”

The confession hung in the air. Patton looked a millisecond away from bursting into tears. Roman turned away.

“We’re assholes,” Virgil confirmed and got up, pulling Roman off of Janus and into a hug. “Of course Thomas needs you Princey, we all do.”

“Hey!” Janus said, used one hand to flick Virgil the bird and two of his other hands to bully himself closer to Roman, “my boyfriend.”

Virgil shot him an incredulous look that transcended the hardening face mask. “Your what-”

“My brother!” Remus cheered happily and wrapped two tentacles around all three of them. Virgil shook his head and leaned into the hug.

“Oo group hug time!” Patton said, stopping for a moment at the tentacles but then shaking his head and joining the hug close to Remus, “I can’t tell you how sorry I am, Roman,” he said. He voice was slightly muffled as he was smushed by Remus, “I never want you to feel like that, if we ever do anything and you start feeling that way again, would you let us know?”

“Oh, you’ll know,” came Janus’s reply, dripping with saccharine.

“Hugging is a good method for releasing oxytocin and creating feelings of trust and connection,” Virgil called to Logan who still hadn’t joined in. Logan smiled.

“So you do listen,” he teased and conceded.

“Ack! You guys, you’re messing up your masks!” Roman protested half-heartedly, letting the group hug topple into a cuddle pile.

They fell asleep like that. Remus’s tentacles shrunk back into his back, Virgil’s leg was slung over Roman’s, Patton’s sheet mask had slipped to the side, and Logan was somehow sleeping with perfect posture, cuddled into Remus’s back. Janus woke up muttering about needing to wash his mask off.

Roman laughed quietly, “If you give me my arm back, I can summon a towel for you,” he whispered. Janus pretended to think about it for a bit before releasing Roman. He wiped off his mask then blinked at Roman.

“You still didn’t do your mask!” Janus whisper-yelled, “Unbelievable.”

“Oh no,” Roman said in mock surprise, “guess I’ll have to find my way back to your room soon to have that rectified.”

Janus blinked twice before a slow smile graced his face. He tucked himself back into Roman’s side.

“Dastardly schemes,” Janus said.

Roman pressed a kiss into his hair.

“I learn from the best.”

Notes:

And that's a wrap! Thank you all for making it this far and for reading/ kudoing/ commenting- it really makes my day!