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Curt wakes from his slumber hearing a loud repetitive chime coming from his house"s door, still drowsy he slowly shifts over to check the time. 3:45 AM. He obviously hasn"t gone out drinking, he has no errands to run at such a time, so who could be bothering him at this time? Stretching and rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he walks over to put his slippers on. After a short pause, the doorbell starts to chime again, this time at a much faster, urgent pace.
"Ugh... Who the hell..? Look, I"m coming already! Stop pressing the button!" he yells, as he gets closer to the door and whips it wide open, but Curt didn"t feel the cold early morning air, what stood in front of him was a man of similar height, with a face he wishes he would never remember again.
It was Roland. A traitor he once called a friend, the one who he loved most, who hurt him endlessly throughout their time in the band. His face pale and droopy eyes tinged with red, widening as he recognizes the man who he"s been calling over for the past 5 minutes.
Curt"s eyebrows furrowed, his stare burrowing into Roland"s own. The audacity of this man to come before him after 9 years, after everything he"s done? He resisted the urge to strike the other with his fists, maybe when he was younger he would"ve faced this situation with violence, but he"s matured since – whatever Roland wanted better be good.
"Roland... What the fuck are you doing here? Do you know what time it is?" He spat, raising his hand and rubbing his forehead.
The other male flinched upon hearing him speak, trembling as he tried to reply, eyes barely meeting Curt"s. Within seconds, he dropped to his knees and sobbed loudly, incoherently blubbering a string of words he couldn"t put together. Had he been crying earlier? Did he take something? Curt was so taken aback by this bizarre change in personality that he considered slamming the door shut just to try and comprehend what the hell had even happened.
Suddenly, he heard a loud wail, with one short sentence following after. "CURT! CUUUUURT, PLEASE... PLEASE FORGIVE ME! I"M SORRY!!"
Possibly the most pathetic sentence he"s heard in his life, coming from a man who"s ego put off everyone closest to him. Well, he was right about whatever he was expecting to be good. Maybe he felt a surge of pride hearing this apology. You couldn"t get this man to listen to anything you had to say, much less apologize for his own wrongdoings.
Roland kept uttering variations of the same line repeatedly, each time with a sniffle or a loud sob. This would"ve been greatly entertaining for Curt if they both hadn"t been shivering, the temperature"s presence becoming more and more apparent the longer they stayed outdoors.
"Fuck, Ro, holy shit- Stop! I get it! You"re gonna wake up the whole neighborhood! But couldn"t you have called me or came in the morning?! Why.. Why now? It"s been years.. haven"t you moved on?"
"No.. I haven"t... I couldn’t …. I just arrived today.. Curt.. please.." he replied, voice low and barely understandable. Roland clutched onto Curt"s heel, staring back at him, expecting forgiveness like a guilty dog.
Curt"s gaze shifted from his leg to Roland"s sad, bleary eyes, unsure of what to make of this action. The man was literally grovelling at his feet, begging for forgiveness. While Curt wouldn’t exactly have described his feelings towards the breakup of their friendship as dismissive, he surely hadn’t moved on either. Hurt and bitterness were shoved to the back of his mind during the many nights he’d spend thinking about what led up to cutting ties.
"Wait, you just came here today...? Can"t you go back to your hotel or something? We... we can discuss this in the morning." Ending his sentence with a sigh, finally giving up due to the absurdity of the situation, is this seriously how they first meet? After almost a decade?
"No, I didn"t get a hotel... I came straight here...." Arms moving slowly upwards, Roland clutched Curt"s sweater with both hands and pressed his face to the other man’s torso. A gasp was forced out of court as heat rushed towards his cheeks and ears. It"s a miracle that his prior outburst hadn"t woken up any of his neighbors, or else they"d come to.... whatever this was. Some attempt at a hug? A bow of forgiveness? (well, his comparison to a canine"s behavior wouldn"t be too far off..) Roland trying to wipe his nose? Curt could feel the snot getting all over his sweater"s fabric. Ugh.
"Roland.. Wait, you seriously have nowhere to go? Whatever, just get off me and come in already, I"m fucking freezing here!" Almost about to shove the man below him off his chest, Roland scrambled to his feet and rushed indoors to where it was warm, an escape from the single digit celcius he had been standing in that hour. The thin jacket he was wearing surely would not have been enough to keep him cozy. Curt sighed and followed Roland close by, shutting the door behind them. Roland finally let out a loud exhale, knowing that he"d be safe in the confines of Curt"s shelter.
Roland"s eyes slowly adjusted to the inside of the house as Curt turned on a lamp. He"d surely been living comfortably ever since he moved to the U.S... though it"s been obvious that he"s been alone for quite some time. A bare-bones looking living room, one gym mat on the floor, various cans spread throughout the area, and some music recording equipment strewn around. Roland had been so distracted from picking apart every detail of Curt"s interior design that he hadn"t noticed that he was standing in front of him now. He gestured his arm towards the sofa, inviting him to take a seat.
"I"ll make some tea and get you a blanket, how long have you been standing there anyway?" Moving towards the kitchen, he turned on the kettle and brought out two cups to share. Talk about befriending the enemy, going to such lengths to make this unplanned visit comfortable for the other man.
"Uhh.. 20.... 30... I don"t know.... I was knocking earlier, but my knuckles started to hurt a lot..." Slightly moving his hands up, he showed off his reddened, bruised joints. Curt"s face grimaced, feeling a pang of guilt for leaving him out in the cold for so long.
Waiting for the water to boil in the meantime, he strode up to his room and scavenged through his closet for a nice, warm blanket for Roland. He grabbed the comfiest thing he could find and went downstairs to fill up those cups. The water had been hot by now. Curt placed the blanket next to Roland"s side, not even glancing at him as he skidded back towards the kitchen to turn off the kettle.
Roland quickly wrapped the blanket over his body and sighed contently, lips quirking up to a small smile. His aching, rigid muscles loosened up as he got warmer. Slowly opening up his eyes, he faced Curt once again. How long had he been standing there? Roland blushed at the idea of Curt watching him relax. He had two steaming hot mugs in hand now, Curt smiled back at him but turned away in an instant, trying to hide his reddened face. This sight was so... unlike him. Curt"s memories brought him back to the days when those two were younger, essentially attached at the hip with how often they"d be seen together. All those feelings he had for Roland, slowly bubbling back up again. He looked adorable cuddling with his own blanket.
Curt sat down on the opposite side of the sofa, extending his arm to hand Roland his mug, Roland shifting his posture to take it off his hands. He brought the cup to his face, if only just to absorb the radiating warmth from it. After minutes of silence, Curt felt himself slowly nodding off, placing the cup back onto the table opposite them. Roland stared at Curt, noticing how drowsy he looked.
"Ah... I didn"t really plan this far.. Sorry I woke you up.. Over these past few weeks I"ve been realizing just how much of a fool I"ve been, ignorant to your feelings. It was our band, and it"s my behavior that ruined everything..." Unsure of how else to describe just how badly he fucked up with his treatment of Curt, Roland started to tear up again, his cracked voice uttering those familiar words again. "I... I"m so, so sorry, Curt!"
"Ro, look. I-" he exhaled out of frustration. "I get it. It"s just... man, why"d you have to make this so complicated? I don"t really know what to say. It"s been too long."
"I know.." Roland said, voice still shaky.
Tension filled the silence in the air not long after. This is just getting too awkward for both of them. Curt tossed aside his convictions and scooted closer to the man beside him, the cushion dipping causing Roland"s attention to be fixed on Curt.
Gently holding his head still, Curt placed both hands softly on Roland’s cheeks. By now, he had gotten a better, clearer look at Roland"s appearance. Age adorned his face, his hair, once curly and long, had been shoulder length and wavy. While no longer retaining that refined, sophisticated look he had the last time he"d seen the man, his pouty lips and round eyes still had him spellbound. Handsome as ever.
"Um... Curt?" There was that smile again. Curt had been staring too long, memorizing each new aspect of Roland"s face. Arms slowly wrapped towards the blanketed man, bringing him in for a hug. Curt felt Roland reciprocate by clinging on to him, his head back in the same position as it was during his little fit outdoors, muttering little "sorry"s into his sweater"s cloth. After a while, Curt decided to test the waters bringing up his hand to caress Roland"s hair. Roland"s breath hitched midway up his throat, not expecting this at all, but he had basically melted as Curt repeated this gesture. Curt could hear Roland getting silent, body limp in his arms. Did he really fall asleep just from that? Well, he certainly wasn"t gonna sleep in his bed tonight.
Both mugs had been long forgotten by now, sitting cold and stale on the table. Curt was a bit unsure of what to do next. He didn"t want to move off the couch, lest he risk Roland waking up (why did he feel bad at the idea of Roland waking up alone?) but deep down he knew that he needed that physical contact with his ex-friend. All logic and reason set aside, Curt pressed his lips and kissed Roland"s head. God, was he glad that Roland was out like a light. Exasperated, he shifted his posture so that he was laying on the sofa, shifting a throw pillow closer to him.
"Wasn"t I supposed to be mad at you? Now here I am, comforting you, treating you well. You really can"t stay away from me, Ro." he thought. ‘I need you as much as you need me.’ Stroking Roland"s hair again, he let those repetitive movements lull him to a dreamless, comfortable sleep.