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Bad to the Bone

Summary:

After coming down to Newt Texas to visit his friends, the Slaughter family, Bones finds himself regrettably housesitting for Nancy as she and Johnny go off on a trip. Bones was expecting something else out of his trip down to Nancy's house, with how the woman was subtly flirting with him and with the fact that Johnny now lived in his own little shack in the back of property, too far from the bedrooms to hear anything, Bones was ready for some action. Bored, lonely, and horny, Bones waits for their return. Just about done with Nancy's teasing antics, Bones pulls out a pack of beers and begins to drink away his sorrows.

That's when Hands, Nancy's brother shows up. After drinking a little and pent-up enough, the 7 foot tall, 350 pound man was looking real appetizing, not as quite a shape in a drape as his sister, but he could definitely get his hands on that...

Or, Bones and Hands bone.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Coming back from city life to the countryside of Newt Texas was mighty big change for Bones when he came to visit his good friends of the Slaughter family. It was just going to be a few weeks of seeing Drayton and his odd brothers, and then visiting Nancy and Johnny. While spending time with Drayton was fine, Bones was looking most forward to visiting Nancy and staying with her. The woman didn't have a great track record with her husbands, but Bones wasn't too worried, he could read the room, and the room was telling him that he could spend a night in her room if he played his cards right. 

Unfortunately, the night Bones was hoping for didn't come, and in fact, halfway into the week, Nancy and Johnny went off on some trip to god knows where, leaving Bones with the exciting task of house sitting. That damn woman was always toying with him, and now she was using him like a damn watchdog while she was away! Sexually pent-up and annoyed, Bones lazily sat in the living room staring out the window as he cracked open a bottle of beer. That's when the sound of a motorcycle pulling up into Nancy's driveway made Bones perk up, alongside the sight of the biggest man Bones had ever seen before. It was "Hands" alright, and boy if he wasn't a sight for Bones' sore eyes.

Hands took a moment to sit back on his bike, wiping sweat from his brown and using a hand to slick back his mullet. The lumbering giant looked like a picture from a damn fitness magazine from the window where Bones was sitting. Watching Hands grip onto the bottom of his shirt and lift it up to pat his face down, Bones gulped, his eyes unable to tear away from the man's burly build. Hands' stomach poked out a bit over his belt, a trail of hair coming up to his chest where Hands' pecs were. God damn, those pecs, they were bigger than some of the breasts Bones had seen in his time. 

Bones had always thought Hands was a handsome fellow, but he never envisioned anything out of the two of them. Hands after all, didn't speak, he seemed fully able, but not much more than a few grunts or grumbles escaped him. Except when they were 'hunting', those times, Hands turned into a damn animal, growling and yelling all over the place, a real fucking beast if Bones said himself. 

"A pretty hot beast..." Bones lowly said out loud, still staring out the window at Hands as he finally got off his bike. That man was brave, wearing clothes like that, a whole leather vest and everything like the weather wasn't on fire out here. Bones momentarily wondered how sweaty the biker got... 

Clearing his throat, Bones swallowed as he put his beer down and brushed down the nice pants he got in Dallas. If Nancy wouldn't appreciate how dolled up he got for the visit, maybe her brother could. Bones went over to the front door pretty quickly, opening it with a grin, not giving Hands the chance to knock on the door. 

"Oh, hey friend! Nice of you to visit, but I'm afraid your sister and Johnny are gone at the moment," Bones greeted with a signature grin, one he used to hide the dark shit about him to all those folks in the city. Hands looked surprised for a moment to see Bones answer the door, but after lowering his brows his face turned stern again as he let out a small growl, looking past Bones easily because of how tall he was and looking into the house. Bones took a moment to eye the man up close, swallowing down the saliva that began to fill his mouth at the sight of the big guy so close. "Hey uh, big boy, I'm tellin' the truth. You can come in a look for her yourself if you want. I'm stuck here housesitting if you want to join me," Bones offered, stepping to the side. Not like it mattered though, Hands could so easily push him to the side, and oh boy wasn't that a hot thought. 

"Hmm..." Hands rumbled lowly, looking down at Bones with a questioning glare before stepping inside, the floorboards creaking with each step of his. Those big ass feet made the house shake like there was an earthquake happening. Watching Hands stomp around, Bones couldn't help but chuckle at how absurd this man was, so tall, and so big, he was a damn fantasy, well, maybe a nightmare to some. Served good purpose to the Slaughter family at least. 

"I was drinking some beer, you interested in a bottle? Knowing you, I'd imagine you'd probably need a whole pack before feeling any sort of affects, ain't that right, Hands?" Bones chuckled, sitting down back at his spot in the living room, swiftly downing a swig from his beer before raising one to Hands. Hands shrugged as he sat down next to Bones, taking the beer bottle and twisting the cap off with ease, he raised the bottle to his lips, and within seconds he downed the whole thing as if he was showing a party trick. "Damn buddy, who taught you to drink like that?" Hands pressed his thumb to his chest as he growled reaching for another beer bottle. Bones watched with a chuckle, swigging down his bottle next like they were having a competition. Oh boy, was he started to feel a bit tipsy now. 

"Heh, you know, I'd ask you why you came around, but that wouldn't be any good would it, friend?" Bones laughed, jutting Hands side with his elbow and reaching from another beer bottle from the pack on the floor. "Don't you worry, I'm a mortician, I deal with people who don't speak all the time!" Bones joked, chortling at his own joke as Hands swallowed down more beer, Bones watching that thick neck and adam's apple bob as he did so. Man, if everything about this man wasn't big. Hands sighed loudly, looking over at Bones with a unamused glare. "Oh, that's not funny? What can I talk about that gets your gears going then?" 

"Hmph..." Hands grumbled moodily, crossing his arms over his chest, those burly arms practically bulged out from his clothes, the ends of the sleeves hugging his hairy forearms for dear mercy, about ready to rip whenever. 

"Okay, how about I tell you a story about Grandpa, everyone in your family loves him, you included I bet. Oh me and him go way back, I was just about a young man when I met that fella, he was a real big man at the time, worked at the slaughter house just like I did. That place shut down, but our friendship sure didn't. Did I ever tell you that he's the one who taught me how to hunt? Oh yeah, daddy handed me a knife one time, said we were hunting for meet, and we went to town! Hoo boy, was that a day, imagine him in his prime, he was almost as big as you are Hands! You take after him, you and that Bubba, even if his cornbread's not all the way done in the middle, he's definitely got the butcher spirit that Grandpa used to have at his age, haha!" Bones laughed, drunkenly trying to slap his knee but accidentally slapping Hands. The biker growled lowly, his leg shifting at the touch and slapping against Bones' as if keeping him in check. 

"Oh, sorry about that, big boy. I can really get to yapping if you let me, not like you'll tell me to stop anyways, hehe! Back then is when I met your sister you know, oh and Drayton. We got along quick, like three peas in a pod we were! Oh your sister was something else when she was younger, if I ever say she was something else now, boy was she something else back then! The woman had the perfect amount of meat on her bones, real curvy, like a shape in a drape! Haha, oh she ain't bad these days either, age has been nothing but a blessing for her. It's no wonder that woman has had so many husbands, it's too bad that they all end up the same, I'm not looking to get on one knee anytime due to that, heh," Bones softly chuckled, drinking down more beer, getting a bit more drunk than he thought he should at this point. Hands growled lowly, he didn't seem all there either, the pack of beers they were drinking was just about finished with the last one Hands took, his movements a little sluggish as he took his time with the bottle. Hands sluggishly looked over at Bones and frowned, not seeming to appreciate how he was talking about his sister, but at the same time, a little too drunk to care as much as he might've in the right mind. 

"Hey, don't be getting all defensive, I've got the hots for about everyone in your family, buddy," Bones admitted brazenly, gulping down some more beer. "Hah, take Sissy, that girl's crazy, but my right kind of crazy, she's got a pretty voice and an even prettier face, hehe. Johnny's even grown into quite the man now, ain't he? That boy's got the build and looks of some TV star in the big city, haha!" 

Hands' growls continued to grow in duration and volume, his big hand clenching on his beer bottle tighter. 

"What's all that growling for? You jealous or something big guy? I always thought you were good eye candy too, you never talked much, not back then and not now, but oh boy do you have a size and build of a man in one of those muscle magazines," Bones slurred out, accidentally dropping his almost empty beer bottle onto the floor, it didn't break thankfully, but Nancy wouldn't be happy about the stain when she got home. 

"Hmmgh... Hahahaha..." Hands let out a deep, drunken laugh, Bones wasn't sure what for, but he began to laugh a little himself, slumping back onto the couch as he looked over at Hands. 

"I'm not messin' around buddy, you've always been one sexy mother fucker, and the biker get up ain't helping with my opinion of that, heh," Bones couldn't stop himself from moving his hand down to Hands' thigh, playing around with the rough material of his jeans, too fucking horny and too drunk to know that this was a bad idea to do with Hands of all people. Surprisingly, Hands didn't rip his arms in half, he only stared down at Bones with a unreadable stare, not a single noise coming from those lips. "What? Big guy like you get's shy when someone starts buttering you up? I wouldn't expect that, hehe..." Bones continued his touch, sluggishly sliding closer to Hands side, gripping onto Hands meaty thigh with one hand and putting his other hand around onto the man's shoulder. 

"Hands... I'm real fucking horny... Your sister left me out here like a dog without water, and boy am I thirsty for something, anything..." Bones slurred out, his breath hot over Hands face as they stared each other in the eye, Hands looking into Bones eyes all hazy before suddenly dropping his beer bottle onto the floor with a clang, roughly digging his hands onto Bones' back and pulling him in. Their lips sloppily met, beards scrapping into each other's skin as they sloppily sucked on each other's lips and tongues, fighting for dominance as they rumbled onto the couch. Hands ended up on his back, grumbling lowly in his throat as he panted, watching Bones drunkenly chuckle as he straddled his chest and fumbled with his pants. 

"Hah, damn Dallas pants," Bones complained, finally managing to unbutton and unzip them, fishing out his cock and balls out quick and slapping them onto Hands chest. "You ever suck a man off, Hands? Why don't- oh!" Bones yelped as Hands' planted a firm grip on Bones' ass, pulling him forward and greedily taking the man's dick into his mouth, slurping down the quickly hardening length, his beard brushing against the length with each motion. Bones gasped, his mind reeling to catch up to the sensations on his cock, his eyes rolling back as he held onto Hands' bulky wrists for dear life. 

"Hoo boy! F-Fuck!" Bones moaned loudly, knees digging into the couch as Hands bobbed his head up and down, tongue sloppily slurping over Bones' cock, lips constantly pressing down to the base and kissing his balls which were already starting to tighten. "T-That's real good, you're a pro baby! G-Gonna make me cum quick..." Bones labored out the words, hands squeezing Hands' wrists tight and his hips moving forward on instinct, too drunk to stop himself from fully slumping onto Hands, forcing his cock deep into the biker's throat as he came. His cock throbbed heavily, cum pulsing out of him like a damn hose down Hands' throat, the man swallowing down every last drop, his throat constricting around Bones' cock, just about milking him for every drop. Bones wheezed as his hips shook, inching his spent cock down Hands' throat, really stuffing Hands nose into his flesh. Bones could hear the man gag, and as quick as he can, which was pretty slowly with how much he had drunk, he managed to pull back, his cock sliding out of Hands' lips, the tip kissing Hands' hanging tongue. 

"...God damn... I-I never would've thought you could do that..." Bones panted heavily, looking down at Hands' dizzily, the man smirking a tiny bit, squeezing hard onto Bones' ass through his pants and suddenly lifting him as he changed their positions. Hands sat up, placing the smaller man on his lap, humping against Bones' ass. "Wait buddy- I need to catch my-" Hands lips slammed against Bones' own, stealing away the chance for a breath. The biker's big hands, found purchase on Bones' top, ripping it a part easily despite Bones' muffled protests and tearing it off of him. With as much strength as he had, Bones pulled back, gulping down air as he glared at Hands. 

"That was one of my nice shirts! I'm not gonna be the only one who's taking my clothes off here!" Bones grumbled, squeezing onto Hands' leather vest and pulling it off of him, reaching for his shirt next and forcing Hands arms up, sliding it off. Bones watched with lustful eyes as his burly body showed itself with the clothing gone, the skin shining with sweat, hair coating him in every perfect spots. "Fuck yeah, I always wanted to you like this, Hands..." Bones lowly said, sliding a hand over his chest, squeezing one pec and pressing his thumb against the hardened nipple, instantly making Hands lowly moan. The biker let out low, sexually charged growls, his bulge pressing into Bones' ass, the touching was only getting him much more horned up. 

"I'll let you fuck me soon enough, have some patience big boy, let me have my fun, now raise an arm of yours and put it behind your head, yeah?" Bones demanded bossily, Hands obeying with a growl, the scent of Hands' musk instantly filling the air as he raised his arm and showed off his armpit. Bones took in a breath at the sight of the hairy, sweaty armpit, instantly digging his nose into the skin and deeply inhaling, letting out a long moan at the scent. God he smelled perfect, deep musk with notes of the oil he worked with fixing his bike. Bones didn't stop himself from sniffing at Hands' armpit like it was drug, licking at the skin there, the taste of the man's sweat pooling on his tongue like ambrosia. Hands watched with an unsteady glare, his face hot, cock hard in his jeans, at this point begging to be taken out. With a loud growl, Hands squeezed his bicep and forearm over Bones head, keeping his nose in his armpit as his other hand unbuttoned his jeans and sloppily pushed them down along his undergarments, cock slapping against Bones' clothed ass, staining the fabric with his copious amounts of precum. Hands roughly pulled Bones' pants down to his ankles, sloppily pulling down his feet and spanking Bones' hairy ass as soon as it was in sight. Hands chuckled deeply, cock rock hard, the tip a passionate red, it's length already lubed up with his precum dripping down. 

"You could leave me buried in this armpit for fucking ever," Bones moaned, drunk on Hands' musk more than the beers at this point. He slumped against Hands fully, his spent cock hardening again against Hands' stomach as Hands fondled with his ass, sliding his cock between Bones' cheeks. Finally pulling back from Hands' armpit, Bones slid his face against Hands' juicy pecs, pressing back needily against Hands' cock, prodding the tip at his hole. "Do it big boy, slam that big cock into me! I can handle it!" Bones aggressively urged, his lips clamping onto one of Hands' nipples as his hand squeezed the free pec, groping it fiercely. 

Hands grunted at the encouragement, snarling, his teeth clenched as he pressed his cock against Bones' sphincter and pushed hard, his big veiny cock making it's way into Bones' tight hole slowly despite the force being put into it. Very suddenly, Hands cock managed to slide all the way in, Bones' ass pressing all the way at his base, balls slapping against his ass. Bones let out a very loud, muffled moan, suddenly biting hard onto Hands' nipple causing Hands to howl as he vigorously grabbed onto Bones' hips and thrusted up while lifting him up and down onto his cock. 

"Grrrghhhh!" Hands roared out, every muscle on his big body tightening as he pounded away at Bones' hole like an animal in a rut. Bones slobbered over Hands pecs, groaning at each thrust, his ass being pummeled into in the best way possible. With how horny they were, they didn't last much longer, Bones cumming a second time over Hands' belly, his stomach sucking in as he came too, filling Bones' guts with warm, thick cum. 

The two had to take a moment to simply process everything that happened, Hands not moving an inch despite how deeply lodged his cock was inside Bones' tight ass. They stayed like that for minutes, pressed against each other, completely still, just panting, all sweaty, slumped against either the couch or a the wall of muscle that was Hands. 

"Hnngh... Hrrnngh..." Hands deeply moaned, patting Bones' back, raising his head tiredly to look at the man who looked nearly passed out. Carefully, he pulled his cock out with a groan, Bones' hole still squeezing around his oversensitive member. 

"...Hah... I... I need to rest, Hands... Fuck me... You really can fuck..." Bones' tiredly exclaimed, barely lifting his head to look into Hands' eyes, exchanging a smirk with him. "Haha... I was chasing your sister for sex when you were here this whole time... Next time, let's go over to your place, yeah?" 

"Hmph," Hands grunted, nodding, chuckling alongside Bones. Slowly, Hands shifted them down to lay down on the couch, pressing Bones against his chest, weakly kissing his lips, their beards scratching against each other before lazily sinking into the couch. They snuggled against each other, falling asleep as fast as they had gotten drunk in the first place. 

 

-

 

In the morning, Bones found himself sore and alone on the couch, some clothes thrown over him like a makeshift blanket, good smelling clothes... it was Hands shirt and vest. With a grin, Bones shakily sat up, his head reeling and every bone in his body feeling almost useless. The bathroom door was closed down the hallway, the shower running, sounds of water blending in with deep humming. Bones wasn't sure when Nancy was coming back from her little trip, but Bones was damn sure he'd be spending every second they had alone as best he could. Forcing himself to his feet, Bones felt his cock swing between his legs thicken as he approached the shower... 

Notes:

Thank you for reading this fic of a very random pair. I am just horny for both Hands and Bones, if you clicked and read this, I'm sure you understand. Anyways, maybe I'll make another chapter, we'll see! c;