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"Sarah!"
When he sees Sarah go over the edge, JJ doesn't question it.
At this point, he's no longer drunk.
At this point, he's no longer angry.
At that point, it's no longer broken.
All he feels is the terror of losing yet another loved one.
All he knows is that he can't let his best friend's wife die.
The girl he learned to love like a sister.
It all happens in seconds.
The rain, the wind, the boat pitching dangerously, John B shouting Sarah's name.
JJ manages to grab the lifebuoy and throw it overboard.
He rushes to the edge, but before jumping, he looks back one last time and meets John B's terrified gaze.
"I'll bring her back," he promises.
He doesn't know if John B understood him with the sound of the storm still raging, but who cares?
He takes off, and before going overboard, he hears his best friend shouting his name.
The fall seemed interminable before landing abruptly in the raging waves.
The icy water took his breath away and he found himself completely submerged. For a moment, he doesn't know where the surface is and where the bottom is. The violence of the waves is impressive.
Finally, he manages to rise to the surface and takes a deep gulp of air.
Miraculously, he landed near the buoy. He retrieves it and looks around for Sarah.
"Sarah! Sarah!" he shouts.
But only the sound of the storm answers him.
It's deafening.
JJ tries once again to call her friend, but swallows water.
He coughs violently and clings desperately to the buoy.
He must not lose the buoy.
He catches a glimpse of a white dress before realizing it's Sarah.
She's only a few feet from him now. She makes grand gestures.
He somehow managed to reach her, but the current was strong.
Much too loud.
Eventually he joined her.
He doesn't have time to make sure she's all right.
The current carries them too far.
Sarah looks at him terrified.
He helps her hold on to the buoy, and the two drift away.
They don't talk. There's too much noise.
JJ is focused on Sarah. All he can think about is not losing her. He can't let her go.
At the same time, a huge wave washed over them.
JJ let go of the buoy, he let go of Sarah.
He screams, but the water immediately goes back into his mouth.
Up, down, JJ doesn't know where he is anymore.
He's still underwater.
He doesn't know how to get back up.
He is tossed about violently.
He's out of breath.
In a last-ditch effort, JJ flaps his legs and breaks through the surface.
The rain has stopped. But Sarah is nowhere to be found.
****************
JJ takes a moment to catch his breath while trying to swim. He must not stand still. He has to keep moving.
Find Sarah and reach land.
Minutes go by.
JJ is exhausted.
Desperate to find his friend, he sees her.
There a little further on. But she's got her head in the water.
She seems to be unconscious.
Panicked, JJ redoubled his efforts to reach her. He grabs her and holds her to his chest.
"Sarah!" he shouted.
The young woman doesn't answer.
Her eyes are closed.
JJ's not sure if she's breathing.
Terrified, JJ swims, keeps on swimming.
Over and over again.
With his precious burden against him.
Too bad if he's dead tired, too bad if he has no strength left.
He continues.
The storm has calmed and JJ realizes that the current has brought them close to land.
With difficulty, he reaches the beach. With trembling legs, he carries Sarah to shore.
He places it gently on the sand.
She didn't move.
He kneels down beside his friend and looks for her pulse. When he realizes she's not breathing, he's horrified.
"No Sarah, don't do this to me, I'm begging you, come back!"
He puts his hands on the young woman's chest and begins cardiac massage.
He has a thought for the baby. Isn't it dangerous for the baby?
But JJ knows he has no choice but to save Sarah. He continues the massage and breathes air into her.
Thirty compressions, two insufflations.
JJ is exhausted. JJ is out of breath.
And yet he goes on.
He continues.
Thirty compressions, two insufflations.
"Come on, Sarah! Come back! Come back! Come back! Please".
He's desperate.
Just when he thinks all is lost, Sarah's body jolts and she starts spitting out water.
"Yes it is Sarah! Spit it out!" exclaims a relieved JJ.
JJ runs a loving hand down her back as Sarah coughs.
"Are you all right?" he asks softly.
Sarah coughs again, then nods.
There's a moment of silence during which JJ lets Sarah regain her composure.
The young man hesitates, but finally asks:
"What about the baby?"
Sarah raises her head and looks him in the eye.
"I think I'm okay," she breathes, her voice hoarse.
She coughs again, then puts her hand on her stomach.
The two young people continue to stare at each other.
JJ catches his breath. Sarah, too.
Then, without warning, as if the young woman finally realized what had just happened, she rushed forward and embraced her friend.
Surprised at first, JJ tenses up. He's still not used to hugs.
"Thank you," Sarah whispers in his ear. You saved our lives.
As JJ begins to relax in the embrace, Sarah suddenly pushes him away and taps him on the shoulder.
"Ouch!" he protests. "
"What the hell were you thinking?" Sarah exclaimed angrily. "Jumping into the raging ocean in the middle of a storm??"
JJ rubs his shoulder, mumbling to himself.
"I like it better when you cuddle me."
Visibly upset, Sarah rolled her eyes before hugging him again.
This time, JJ responds to her embrace and hugs the young woman back.
JJ understands that she was afraid for him. He's touched. He's always surprised when someone who isn't John B, Kiara or Pope, cares about him.
****************
The storm has subsided.
It stopped raining.
The two castaways decide to find a less exposed spot for the night.
As they start walking, JJ senses that Sarah is worried. She keeps glancing out to sea, as if John B and the others are about to appear.
JJ is also worried about his friends, but tries not to show it.
"I'm sure they got away with it," he assures us. "They can't have gone far. We'll start looking for them at daybreak".
Sarah nods and starts walking again.
Just as JJ was about to do the same, a violent pain shot through his body.
He gasps and puts his hand on the wound in his side, which hasn't had time to heal.
When he withdraws his hand, he sees that it's full of blood. His wound has reopened. Crap. This is not good.
He grits his teeth.
Sarah can't know. She's already distressed enough by everything that's happening.
"JJ are you coming?"
Sarah turned back to him.
Fortunately, it's too dark for her to see him clearly. He takes a deep breath and tries to forget the pain and fatigue.
"I'm coming," he said, joining her.
The two friends resume their walk through the desert.
Fifteen minutes later, they find themselves between two sand dunes. They have nothing to build a fire with, but at least they'll be out of the wind.
Sarah sits down exhausted.
JJ wants to do the same, but his legs are shaky and he feels nauseous.
His wounded flank sends him flying and he's at the end of his tether.
He lets himself half fall and can't hold back a groan of pain.
Sarah immediately tensed up.
"JJ?" she asks worriedly.
With his hand on his wound, JJ senses that Sarah is watching him.
He doesn't have the strength to answer, but Sarah finally sees what he's hiding.
When she sees the bloodstain on his shirt, she widens her eyes and moves closer to him.
"JJ, your wound! It's reopened!"
JJ nods gently.
Bleary-eyed and exhausted, the young man struggles to stay awake. Sarah removes her hand and lifts his shirt to see the damage. JJ feels warm blood running down his side.
"Why didn't you say anything?" reproaches Sarah, as she brings her hand closer.
JJ grits his teeth and mutters:
"I'm fine. I'm fine. It's nothing. There's nothing to worry about."
Sarah shakes her head.
"You really need to rethink your definition of 'fine'," she retorts. You're clearly not fine! And neither am I! "
She's screaming now.
"We're thousands of miles from home, lost in the middle of the desert after escaping a storm! Our friends may be dead! I'm cold, hungry and pregnant!"
Sarah stops suddenly, out of breath. JJ stares at her.
"Are you feeling better?" he said softly.
Sarah gasps.
"Actually, yes, it feels good," she realizes.
Her little outburst has had its effect. She still has her hand pressed to JJ's wound.
"Are you mad at me?" the latter wants to know.
Sarah smiles.
"No, of course not," she said soothingly. But let me help you now."
JJ nods.
Sarah seems to be thinking. They have nothing on hand to clean and stitch the wound.
Sarah takes JJ's hand and puts it back on his wound.
"Keep the pressure on," she says.
She stands up and starts tearing at the bottom of her dress.
"Sarah, no!" protests JJ. "It was the dress for your wedding," he adds in a tired breath.
Her friend says nothing and continues to tear at the bottom of her dress.
Then she kneels down again and looks him straight in the eye.
The dress means nothing," she says. We didn't even get married. Now lift up your tee shirt so I can wrap this strip of fabric around you."
Too exhausted to reply, JJ does as she says.
Silence falls as Sarah places her arms around the young man and wraps the strip of cloth around his waist. She ties a knot as tightly as she can.
JJ can't stop a groan from escaping his lips.
"Sorry," said Sarah. It's best to tighten it up so it doesn't start bleeding again. I hope it's enough.
"Thanks," JJ said, trying to get comfortable.
Sarah faces JJ again and looks him straight in the eye.
"Getting back to my wedding, it's going to happen as soon as we get home," she says. And you'd better put on your best suit because you're invited!"
JJ smiles wearily.
"If we ever get home," he said sadly.
Sarah sits down next to him.
"We'll go home, you'll see".
JJ doesn't know if she's trying to reassure him or herself.
JJ notices she's shaking.
They have no way of making a fire.
Fortunately, the rain has stopped and they are sheltered from the wind between the two sand dunes.
Nevertheless, the cooler weather set in.
JJ doesn't have the strength to move but beckons Sarah closer.
"Come here," he said.
Sarah moves closer and the two young people cling to each other. JJ puts a protective arm around her friend's shoulders.
"Are you all right?" he asks her.
He wants to make sure she's okay.
Sarah takes a moment before answering. JJ suspects she's thinking about the baby.
"I'm not hurt. But I'm tired and scared," she admits. "
"Afraid of what?"
"May this treasure hunt be too big for us," she admits. We have so much to lose now.
JJ sees her put her hand on his belly.
JJ answers nothing.
If he's honest with himself, he agrees with Sarah. What if this is one hunt too many? He decides to take her mind off it by broaching another subject.
"I didn't get a chance to congratulate you on the baby," he begins. I'm happy for you and John B".
Clinging to him, Sarah raises her head.
"Are you sure?... you didn't seem thrilled aboard the boat," she adds hesitantly.
JJ sighs.
He reacted badly. The last few weeks have been so difficult.
He knows he's gone off the deep end and that his friends have paid the price. He knows he has a lot to make up for.
"I'm sorry," he said softly.
"Why?"
"For everything. Sorry I lost the money, sorry I messed up Kildare, sorry I was such a jerk on the boat. "
JJ pulls away from Sarah and runs a hand through his hair.
He grimaces as it pulls at his wound.
He feels Sarah's gaze on him. He continues:
"Everything that's happened since Luke taught me the truth... it's all shit Sarah. I've been acting like a jerk and I'm in deep shit. "
JJ feels his breathing quicken.
Confiding in Sarah is difficult, but he feels he needs it as much as she does.
"I think I'm scared too," he finally admits. I'm afraid I don't know who I am anymore, I'm afraid I've traded one crappy father for another. I'm afraid I'm too broken to cope."
He puts a hand over his heart.
"I'm hurting Sarah, if you only knew how much I'm hurting. I'm so tired," he adds in a small voice.
He's not just talking about today. Sarah understands this.
With tears in her eyes, she puts her arms around him. She rests her head on his shoulder.
"It's going to be okay JJ, I promise, everything's going to work out".
Sarah says nothing more.
JJ was grateful.
He doesn't want her making excuses for him. He doesn't need to. Not after everything he's done.
But he realizes that he is relieved to share his feelings with his friend.
JJ has never been so vulnerable in front of Sarah. But he's had more than enough of hiding his feelings, and he's too exhausted to hide his discomfort anyway.
As the silence settled, JJ let the tears flow.
The silence continues.
Freshness grows stronger.
JJ beckons Sarah to snuggle up to his chest.
She settles in gently so as not to hurt him.
"Thank you," she breathes.
She makes herself very small in his arms and enjoys his warmth.
The two young people lie down.
JJ knows he must try to sleep, that he must regain his strength.
But he can't close his eyes.
Too many thoughts swirl around in her head. And his wound throws him again, even though it seems to have stopped bleeding. He dares not move.
He doesn't know if Sarah is asleep.
"Why do you and John B want me to be your baby's godfather?" he then whispers.
He needs to know.
He doesn't understand. Why him? Why does John B want it to be him? He doesn't deserve it.
Sarah moves against him, but doesn't respond.
He realizes she must have fallen asleep. JJ sighs. He's exhausted. But he's not asleep.
*********
"JJ wake up"
JJ feels someone gently shake him.
Sarah.
He opens his eyes with difficulty. It takes him a few seconds to remember where he is and what has happened.
He must have fallen asleep eventually, although he still feels exhausted.
Sarah helps him to sit down. She looks at him, a flicker of concern in her eyes.
"How are you?" she asks.
To be honest, JJ feels like crap. Not that it's any different than usual.
His wound in his side hurts, he's dying of thirst and he feels his head pulsing in his ears.
But there was no question of worrying her friend.
"I'm fine," he assures her.
He tries to move but gets up too quickly. He wobbles.
Sarah is there to keep him from falling.
"JJ gently".
She holds him by the arms and studies him with her eyes.
"I don't know why I keep asking you," she said sadly.
She shakes her head. But she doesn't blame him.
"You look terrible," she says.
She tries to adopt a lighter tone. JJ pretends to be offended.
"Hey, speak for yourself princess!"
Sarah smiled.
"Are you sure you're okay?" she asks again earnestly.
JJ sighs.
The light moment has passed.
He runs a hand through his hair.
He's still exhausted, but his dizziness has passed.
Now that he's up and ready to go in search of his friends, JJ feels a little better.
Anyway, he has no choice. He's got to be okay. The pogues need him. His family needs him.
He decides to be honest with Sarah.
"Not really," he finally admits. But it'll be okay. It'll get better."
He doesn't know if he's talking about his injuries or everything else. Maybe both.
Sarah inspects her wound and breathes a relieved sigh when she sees that it's no longer bleeding.
"And you, are you okay?" finally asks JJ after a moment's silence.
It's his turn to study her with his eyes. She's pale, has dark circles under her eyes and is undoubtedly as thirsty as he is. But otherwise, she seems fine.
"It wasn't the best of nights but I'm fine".
She takes his hand to reassure him. She understands that he needs it.
When did they become so close that they don't necessarily need words to understand each other? It's confusing. But to be honest, JJ likes it.
"Shall we go?" he finally suggests.
Sarah nods. It's time to find the others.
They decide to return to the sea and walk along the shore.
This way, they'll have a better chance of finding their friends.
They walk silently side by side.
Sometimes, their arms brush against each other, as if to reassure each other that they're not alone, that they can count on each other.
JJ moves slowly.
Sarah too, but the young man doesn't know if it's because she's tired or if she's adopted his rhythm.
Like him, Sarah must be hungry and thirsty. But she doesn't complain. At any time.
Their walk seemed to last for hours, but finally they caught sight of a silhouette in the distance.
They stop immediately.
"Is that... ?" begins Sarah.
JJ would recognize this silhouette anywhere.
"It's definitely him," he confirms, relieved.
John B.
JJ looks at Sarah and sees her face light up. The young woman turns her head and gives him a dazzling smile.
"We did it!
JJ nods. Yes, they did.
As he starts walking again, ready to find his best friend, he feels Sarah grab him by the arm.
Surprised, he turns to her. Sarah looks him straight in the eye.
"You asked me last night why we chose you as godfather," she begins gently.
JJ tenses up.
So she had heard him. He had no time to be afraid of the answer. Sarah takes his hands in hers and looks at him intently.
"You literally dove right into the middle of a storm for me and my baby. If there's anyone who deserves to be our child's godfather, it's you."
"Thank you JJ, for saving my life"
She gives him a tender smile.
JJ stands there staring at her, trying to assimilate his friend's words.
He finds it hard to believe what he's hearing, yet Sarah sounds sincere. He feels a warmth spreading through his body and for the first time in a long time, he thinks that maybe everything will work out.
He squeezes Sarah's hands tighter and flashes a beaming smile.
Then the two young people let go, give each other one last look and dash towards John B, who comes running towards them.
They made it. They survived and were reunited with their family.