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“What’s wrong, slugger?” Bucky asked, draining the hot water out of their rice as Steve came in the door.
Sam watched him from the table where was set up with his laptop. Steve dropped his bag on the floor and flopped onto the couch.
Steve mumbled something grumpily. He was wearing his nicest shirt, and the jeans that actually fit and didn’t make his ass look flat.
“Can’t hear you, speak up.”
“I just—“ Steve groaned, rolling onto his back. “Tony was in town and we went for dinner. And it was great, and we were having a nice time, but we were waited on by no fewer than five servers, since it was a pretty pricey place, and all but one slipped him their number.” He grabbed one of their pillows, hugging it to his chest. “I get I’m not much to look at, but in front of me? Really?”
Sam wasn’t sure what to do with this. This was prime pick-me stuff, and that was so not Steve’s vibe. He cleared his throat. “And what did Tony say about it?”
“He told me not to worry about it. That he was out with me because he likes me and he wouldn’t want to be out with anyone else.”
And Steve was the most special guy in all the whole, wide world. Got it. Sam sighed but walked over to pat him on the head. “Sounds like he didn’t want them, and he likes you. It’s a win.” There, surely that was enough on his part.
“Yeah I guess.” He still sounded pouty. “It’;s just hard, you know? Like, he’s so hot, and I get why people think they might have a chance when they see it’s me he’s with, but still. It’s just so messed up, you know?” Steve sighed. “Not to mention, none of them even know him like I do. They don’t know how sweet he is, or how hard he works, or all the things he does to make me laugh. They just don’t get it, they just see a sexy rich guy with great hair.”
Steve looked at them with tragic, besotted sort of look. "Sorry guys. I think it's just sometimes it feels like it's all too good to be true, and I get all in my head about it, you know?"
Sam and Bucky exchanged an eyebrow. This whole Tony thing was really starting to get out of hand.
Tony had appeared in their lives about two months ago.
Sam actually remembered the first time, because it had been overwhelming in its novelty. They’d been on their couch, Sam and Bucky gaming while Steve was chilling on his phone, the remnants of the gluten-free spaghetti and meatballs they’d had for dinner strewn across the coffee table because they had all been too full to get up and take the plates away.
They’d just hit a hard part of the mission when there was a knock at the door.
They’d all looked at each other in confusion, but it’s not like it was uncommon for other students in the building to come borrow something. So they’d rock, paper, scissors and Steve had lost with a groan, getting up to go to the door.
When he’d opened it, there was a woman holding a bouquet of flowers.
Steve frowned. “Hi?”
“Hi,” the woman said brightly. “Are you Steve Rogers?”
Sam and Bucky had paused their game by now, craning their necks to see over the back of the couch curiously.
“Yeah that’s me.” They could only see the back of his head, but the tone of his voice was bewildered.
“Wonderful.” She handed him the bouquet. “These are for you, and I’ve been instructed to inform you they are ‘hypoallergenic’ and should not cause any irritation for ‘stubborn people who suffer from hay fever but pretend they don’t’.” The bouquet held a mix of…okay, Sam didn’t know much about flowers, but he did know it made for a pretty arrangement.
“Oh, wow, thanks.” She gave him a smile, and then headed off, leaving Steve to close the door behind her.
He turned, the flowers cradled in his arms and looking a little shellshocked.
“Who’re those from?” Bucky asked, and Steve seemed to shake himself a little reaching for the little card sticking out of the top. He read it, and his cheeks went a little pink.
“They’re from Tony.”
Sam frowned. Did they know a Tony? “Who?”
Steve walked over to the kitchen, finding a glass jug and filling it with water. He poured the little sachet in before arranging the flowers in it. They looked nice.
“Steve,” Sam tried again. “Who’s Tony?”
“Oh,” Steve seemed to have forgotten they were in the room. “He’s a guy I’ve been talking with. We’ve been kind of flirting but I wasn’t sure. Apparently he is.” He looked so damn happy that Sam couldn’t even bring himself to tease him.
Luckily, Bucky had no such qualms. “If the man is sending you flowers, Steve, I’d say he was laying down some pretty heavy hints.”
Steve flipped him off. Then he placed the flowers in the centre of their counter, and pulled out his phone to take a photo. He took a few shots, humming at each one before trying again. Bucky rolled his eyes.
Then he seemed to decide it was good enough, and started tapping away. Presumably, Sam assumed, to send Tony evidence of him having received the gift.
“Remember, just because he sent you flowers doesn’t mean you owe him pictures of your junk,” Buckle said sagely and snickered at Steve’s resounding ‘fuck off’ that was thrown his way.
Steve sat back down with them, and Sam was curious enough to want to ask more questions, but Steve was wrapped up in messaging and Bucky seemed keen to carry on playing, so for now, he decided it was best to leave it.
Honestly, the first bouquet had been pretty normal. Sweet even. Sam hadn’t had any particular suspicions. He’d just assumed that Steve had met some guy in his class or maybe bumped into someone while he’d been doing his shifts at the NYU bookstore, and maybe the guy was a little enthusiastic and wanted to make good first impression. No harm in that.
He caught Steve throwing a few pleased glances at the flowers throughout the rest of the night, and Sam was just happy he was happy.
Sam really didn’t mind all the bouquets or the little gifts so much at first. He kind of got wanting to feel special.
After the first bouquet, they’d started asking questions about Tony, but hadn’t really gotten a lot of substance. Tony, just Tony, travelled a lot for work, he worked for some big company, and he was super smart and funny, but kind of a dork.
Pretty normal specs, Sam had thought.
He hadn’t really thought much about the fact that Steve hadn’t named which company or specified what he actually did, but honestly no one really cared that much about the guy someone’s dating so it was all that weird.
Then he’d seen pictures.
Tony was…something else.
All the shots Steve showed him were of some six-foot model with dark artfully-styled hair, and the beginnings of a well kept moustache and goatee, and clothes that definitely cost more than their rent. He also always seemed to be standing in front of a gorgeous coastline, or some luxury, million-dollar house. And Steve wasn’t in a single one.
Which was when Sam realised this was all a scam. A harmless scam intended to raise Steve’s self-esteem, sure, but a scam nonetheless.
Steve had - according to Bucky - kind of spent most of his life feeling undesirable and missing out on the kind of firsts Sam had take for granted. So he got why he might feel like sending himself stuff from an imaginary boyfriend to fit in would make sense.
Personally, he didn’t know how Steve could keep affording to spend so much at the florists week-in week-out, but he wasn’t his accountant.
But the stuff about Tony renting out the top of the Empire State Building? Or the private tour of the MoMA? The key to a good story was keeping it realistic. And honestly, the giant stuffed rabbit? Honestly what had he been thinking?? They’d had to donate that thing, and it had not been easy.
And really, that had been the point Sam had kind of wanted to push back. But he was Steve’s friend, and since Steve’d started his little scheme he’d seemed so much happier. More confident too.
Plus he was out of the house more to sell the reality, Sam guessed, which meant he got more time to be loud and obnoxious alone in the apartment. Win-win.
So fuck it, Sam decided one morning while walking to his lecture. If Steve needed an escape from reality from time-to-time, who cared?
Some people preferred video games or reading, Steve had fake dating. No big.
A notification popped up on his phone and he tapped it.
Bucky: Just been told Tony invented my new prosthetic model 🙄 Do you think he also cured cancer or…?
Sam couldn’t help the snort, then felt a little guilty.
It wasn’t fair to make fun of Steve if they weren’t going to do anything about it.
“Oh my god! I love New York!”
Sam winced at the volume and rolled his eyes. “Stop sounding like such a tourist.”
Sarah grinned at him. “But I am a tourist! And getting to be in NYC with you instead of mom and dad? We are going to paint this city red!”
Sam covered his face. “I regret this so much.”
Despite his sister demanding to be photographed with everything they walked past, and forcing him to all the worst parts of the city to fight it out with the rest of the visitors, Sam had a pretty good time. He’d been in New York for nearly four years, and though his family had come to visit some, he mostly went home. It was kind of fun getting to do this together. After a full day of sightseeing, they wandered back to his apartment so they could split the wine they’d bought. Cool big brother or not, his sister wasn’t getting him in trouble for facilitating underage drinking at a bar.
He unlocked their door, letting Sarah in ahead of him, and listened to her mock their decorating for a good five minutes.
“Hey, we didn’t choose the furniture, alright? This is scholarship housing for grad students, it’s not going to be the Marriot.” She poked at the big food stain in the corner. “Okay, to be fair, that was us. It’s from when Bucky first got his prosthetic and didn’t realise how strong he was. Burst a whole can of soup.”
They looked through the photos of the day to pick out some to send to the family group chat, until they were joined by Steve who had clearly being working on one of his end of year pieces. There was still a splash of red paint behind his ear.
Steve and Sarah already got on like a house on fire, having spent Thanksgiving together in their second year while Steve’s mom was away visiting a friend. So, he had no qualms about ditching her so he could get into his comfy hang out clothes.
“I’m just gonna grab a shower if you guys are cool chatting?”
Sarah waved him off. “We’re good, I want to get all the gossip about you without you interrupting.”
Sam rolled his eyes, but headed to the bathroom. It had been a little cold out, so he let himself enjoy some extra hot water before he got out and changed. When he walked back into the kitchen, Steve and Sarah were sitting close on the couch as Steve showed her something on his phone.
“I mean he’s really hot,” Sarah was saying, and Steve was smiling.
“I know, right?” He flicked to another photo, and even from here Sam was ashamed to say he knew exactly which Tony picture it was. “We met in Central Park while he was in town for a meeting. I was sketching on a bench, he was voicenoting into his phone, and tripped over a pigeon. He went straight into the fountain.” Steve’s smile was fond. “I jumped up to help fish him out, and then gave him my jumper so he wouldn’t get cold.” He grinned at Sarah. “You can imagine how well it fit him.”
She snorted, hand over her mouth. “I’m just imagining one of those cartoons where they pull it out of the tumble dryer and it’s like a crop top.”
“It’s exactly that, god, I’m so going to sketch that for him. He’ll get such a kick out of that.”
“That’s so cute though. It sounds like something out of a movie.” His sister was positively swooning. It was making Sam flash back to being made to watch Twilight for the hundredth time.
Didn’t it just?
“If it hadn’t happened to me, I wouldn’t believe it, honestly.”
Who would?
“So, he takes you out and stuff?”
“Yeah, lots! I haven’t got pictures of us together because his job is kind of important so we can’t risk them leaking right now until he's secured his promotion, but he’s saving them all securely for me, so it’s okay.” Steve rolled his eyes. “He said I can have them if I get the latest generation StarkPhone, because it's got the best security, but I said I’m happy with my old one for now. It drives him nuts. He's kind of obsessed with new tech.”
Right, yeah. His secret job where a couple of photos would make the stock market crash or something. Sure.
Sam listened to them chatter for a bit while he started dinner prep. He opened the fridge. “Damn, we’re out of cheese.”
Steve hopped up. “No worries, I can run out and get some. Cheddar?”
“Thanks, man.”
Steve disappeared out the door, bumping into Bucky, still in his workout clothes from his run. Bucky gave him a playful shove before putting his keys back in his pocket and coming inside.
Sam waved, pointing at his sister. “Bucky, Sarah, Sarah, Bucky.”
“Hey,” Bucky said, and no way he was turning on his Brooklyn drawl for this. “Nice to meet you. Had fun with the world’s most uptight tour guide?”
“Organised fun.” Sam cut in, and Sarah laughed.
“He’s alright. Gave me a pretty good walking tour. Not sure the paid ones would’ve pointed out everywhere you guys have gotten kicked out for fighting.”
“Uh, that’s mostly Steve,” Buck snorted. “Glad to hear you had a good day though. I’m going to grab a shower, then I’ll come help with dinner.” Bucky gave them a wave and a smile before heading fro the bathroom.
Sarah tucked one of her braided behind her ear. “That’s one good looking white boy.”
Sam scowled. “I forbid it. Like, foot down, whole leg down actually. That is not happening.”
She gave him a look. “I thought he was your friend?”
“He is, but I want to be able to have time away from him too, and I can’t do that if he’s eating his damn Cheetos on our couch at Christmas.” Bucky would charm the hell out of his mother, he already knew it. “Hard pass.”
She rolled her eyes. “Whatever.” Then she leaned in a bit. “So, what’s up with Steve’s boyfriend, because holy shit.”
And wasn’t that a great question. “It’s— kind of complicated. I don’t know the whole thing.”
“If a guy I’m seeing won’t let me post photos on instagram, it’s definitely kind of shady. If I were Steve, I’d wonder if I was his side piece honestly,” she said, sagely. Sam agreed. Or he would if Tony were a real cheater, instead of you know, imaginary.
“You want another wine?”
“Hit me.” She picked up her phone tapping away at something. “You think we have time to do the Natural History museum tomorrow before The Lion King?”
Sam listened as she talked through their itinerary, his mind wandering back to Steve. Maybe they needed to start trying to nip this whole Tony thing in the bud.
Maybe if he just made it clear to Steve that it was okay to be single and happy, or that he was better off meeting real people, he could quit bankrupting himself and this whole thing could be put behind them.
Sam messaged Steve about grabbing coffee and met him at their favourite cafe by the park.
He loved the place. Busy enough not to be dead, but quiet enough he could have a nice chat with Steve and even get a bit of work done.
Sam graded papers while Steve worked on one of his art assignments, and it was nice and peaceful.
He waited until Steve went and grabbed them a second round of coffee and a couple of muffins - blueberry for Sam, chocolate for Steve, as was their usual - and had settled back into his seat before he broached the subject.
They had been talking about Bucky’s latest failure to pick up on their friend Natasha’s hints at her birthday - for a self-proclaimed smooth operator, Bucky was surprisingly dense when he was the one being hit on - and Sam figured it was as good of a segway as anything else.
“Just how many opportunities does she have to give him?” Steve asked, an amused twist to his mouth. “She’s going to move on soon if he doesn’t get with the programme.”
Sam grinned. “I say we give him one more go, then we step in. Don’t want to make it too easy for him.”
“Deal.” Steve looked at Sam. “How are your prospects looking? Still on the apps?”
“I am, but there’s girl in my jazz workshop who, I don’t know, I feel like we’re both vibing but haven’t said anything. But you know, I don’t mind being single. Nothing wrong with that.”
Steve’s pencil continued its rhythmic scratching across the page. “Course not. It’s important to be happy with yourself before you involve another person.”
Sam clicked his fingers. “Exactly. I mean, if you don't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else, right?”
“Preach, Ru.”
Sam stirred his coffee, adding some creamer and watching it turn cloudy as the coffee turned into a pleasing light brown. He cleared his throat. “And you know that there’s nothing wrong with being a virgin, right?” Sam said, trying to sound casual. Because he knew well enough the pressure men were under to say they’d done it, and he couldn’t imagine Steve hadn’t been mocked pretty hard for it over the years. He wouldn’t be surprised if getting to pretend he’d finally gotten laid was a big part of this.
Steve gave him an odd look. “Yeah, I know,” he offered slowly, and then something seemed to spark in recognition. He dropped his voice to a low tone. “Oh Sam, of course there isn’t. Like if you haven’t or never want to that’s your choice you know. Bucky’s just kidding around about being your wingman.”
Sam wanted to slap his hand over his face and scream. “No, I know, I wasn’t talking about me.” He huffed. “I’ll have you know that I’ve satisfied several—“
Steve raised an eyebrow at him. “I feel like you being offended sends a really mixed message.”
Well.
Yeah, alright, that was fair. “Okay, I hear it. The point still stands.”
Steve reached out and patted his arm supportively. “I’m sure all your virgin friends will be glad to hear it.” He looked back at his sketch pad and carried on darkening the lines, humming to himself.
Sam sighed, flopping back into his chair. He was so bad at this.
Sam found out Tony was an actual person who existed on their three month anniversary. Well, six months technically, but they didn’t consider it dating until they’d been talking for a few months, so they were sticking with celebrating it officially.
At least that’s what Steve had said when he’d found (yet another) bouquet outside their door, hugging it to his chest.
Sam had been sleeping off the night before on their couch when the knocking had started, and he glared blearily at Steve. “Why at 7 in the—“
He was interrupted by another knock and Steve put the flowers down so he could answer it. The room already smelled of peonies.
Steve opened the door, and there was a delivery man standing there holding a large takeaway coffee, and a box.
Steve took them, closing the door behind with with a cheery thanks.
He opened the pastry box and huffed. “Oh wow.”
“What is it?” Sam couldn’t help his curiosity, one eye peeking over the the warmth of his pillow.
“Tony got me coffee and an entire pancake breakfast.” He picked up a little label. “Gluten and allergy free.” He looked smitten. Christ.
Really, this was laying it on a bit thick, even for Steve.
Sam watched as he tucked into his breakfast - “it’s still hot!” - his own stomach growling with jealousy. Maybe he should start sending himself romantic breakfasts to soak up hangover nausea. He was never going out drinking with his improv group again.
Steve was happily mopping up the last of the maple syrup when his phone lit up.
Steve picked it up, trapping it between his ear and shoulder as he walked through to their bathroom. “Hey Tony.”
Sam heard the sound of the tap, the splash of water as Steve washed remnants of syrup from his hands. He was about to call out for Steve to close the door - if he was going to pretend to talk to his fake boyfriend, then Sam could at least get some more sleep - when the water stopped and Steve walked back into the room.
Sam frowned. Was Steve going to fake an entire phone call with him here?
But then Sam heard the faintest sound coming out of the phone. A voice, deep enough it was clearly a man’s though Sam couldn’t get more detail than that. He said something and Steve laughed. “Well, I thought you’d appreciate it.”
There was a reply, and Steve bit his lip in amusement. “Just because I painted it doesn’t mean you have to hang it up.”
He grinned at whatever the reply was. “Then you’re welcome. I’m glad you like it.” And then he scuffed his foot against the floor, like the dorky lead in a romcom.
God this was worse than Sam thought.
“I think Tony exists.”
Bucky paused in his stretch. “What?”
Sam put down his weights. “I think he’s, you know, an actual living man.”
Bucky held the pose for a little longer, his expression contemplative. “You think he’s real, even though we’ve never met him?”
“Well, yeah.” Sam rubbed the back of his neck. “Steve was talking to someone on the phone, and it sounded like a guy to me. I think he’s actually talking to him.”
“You think he’s talking to Tony, the rich guy whose teeth look like they cost more than a Ferrari, and who seems to be some sort of tech genius?”
Sam groaned, rubbing his hands over his face. “No. I obviously don’t think that because that’s insane.” He looked at Bucky. “But just because he’s a real man, doesn’t mean he’s actually who he says he is, right?”
Bucky seemed to contemplate this, the fingers on his prosthetic twitching slightly. “So, you think Stevie’s got a catfish?”
Sam winced. He hated to say it, but wasn’t that the obvious answer? Steve was a pretty level headed guy, which is why the fake deliveries and love notes had always seemed a little odd. Sam had understood why Steve wanted to feel special but it had still always sat a little strangely in the back of his mind that he would go to those lengths. Now he knew why. Because Steve wasn’t a fake. But this guy? This guy obviously was, and he was clearly taking advantage of Steve’s big heart.
He could imagine Steve wanting to sell the fantasy to them as well now. Because if he told them the truth about Tony, he’d have to know what they’d say. A guy who sent pretty gifts but Steve had never met? It was actually sadder, imagining Steve hanging out in the library so he could come back and pretend he’d been out at Jean-Georges, or like the other week where he told them he’d flown out to see Tony for the weekend, but had so clearly been staying with his Ma. He’d posted pictures of them both at the beach at Coney Island for god’s sake.
“It makes sense, right?” Sam was on a roll now, the pieces clicking into place. “A guy with amazing hot photos—“ Bucky raised an eyebrow and Sam rolled his eyes. “-oh like you don’t know they’re hot, who are you trying to fool?” Bucky shrugged at that. “So, hot photos, who we’ve never met in person - because every time we’re supposed to meet him he suddenly has a meeting or has to rush back to California - who doesn’t seem to have a last name, or like, any sort of actual job, that Steve doesn’t have any photos with, and who is apparently some sort of rich genius. Does that not seem like the most catfishiest of catfish?”
“When you put it like that…” Bucky hummed thoughtfully before he sighed. “Yeah. It does. Poor Steve.”
“Do we…tell him?”
And fuck, that was the question wasn’t it? Because Sam had seen the Tinder Swindler, okay? And he hated the idea that some guy might be love-bombing Steve so he could take him for everything he’s worth. Which, frankly, isn’t a lot, so more likely just put him into debt he can’t afford.
“I mean, maybe we can hint at it a little? I just feel like if we tell him, he’s going to get defensive.” Bucky tapped his fingers on the weight bar. “Steve has his pride. I think it’ll go south pretty quick if we just come out with it.”
Alright, so they would wait. And hopefully the right opportunity would arise.
“So Steve, Bucky and I were thinking, maybe we could meet Tony over video since he’s always so busy?”
Steve tipped his head to look at them. “Huh?” They were sort of standing over him, having found him sketching in the garden of their building. Sam hoped it didn’t scream ambush too much.
“Well, “Bucky said, stepping in smoothly. “It’s just we’ve yet to meet your guy, and it’s been months.”
Steve sighed. “Yeah, he’s really busy. As soon as he gets his promotion, he’ll have to travel less and I’ll get to see him way more often. His..uh, boss is super strict, so he can’t let him know that I’m distracting him so much.” He looked a little delighted at that.
“Sure, totally,” Sam agreed easily. “Maybe we just video call then.”
Steve shook his head. “He can’t right now. He’s in California for the next two weeks, and he probably won’t even leave his work room in that time. All the stuff he does for his company is completely confidential, so even I can’t see it. So it’s just voice only for now.” Steve cleared his throat a little. “At least on his end.”
Oh of course. He couldn’t video call because he was just so super special. Couldn’t Steve hear what he was saying?
“But yeah, I’m sure you’ll meet him eventually.” Steve closed his sketchbook. “He’s actually too busy to chat tonight anyway so why don’t we got out and have a few beers?”
Now that was a good idea. They could take Steve out, have a great time, maybe fill Steve up with enough liquid courage to talk to some nice girl or guy to take his mind of Tony once and for all.
Bucky was clearly on the same page because he leaned down to clap Steve on the shoulder. “Sounds good. I’ll even buy the first round.”
They were geniuses. This was a great plan.
Sam took the beer Bucky handed him with a 'thanks'. This was a nice enough bar, they should come here more often.
Rumlow was blathering on about something, but Sam had lost track. The guy was kind of a bore but they felt bad not inviting out occasionally when he always seemed to be hanging around. Something about crypto? Property? Shares?
Who could say. It was no surprise he didn’t have a lot of friends when he never seemed to give a fuck about listening to anyone else in a conversation. But Steve always felt bad for the guy, so every so often they’d bring him out. With a couple of drinks he was usually alright company at least. He’d caught them in the elevator on the way down, so really they hadn’t had much of a choice but to invite him to tag along.
So, needless to say he wasn’t paying much attention. Really his eye was caught on the gorgeous blonde in the corner. She went to NYU as well, he’d seen her in the politics department and was pretty sure she majored in International Relations and Global Security, though they’d never spoken. She was a knockout though, and he’d love to get to know her. She had a couple of friends with her too which was promising.
What he didn’t love though was the way Bucky’s eyes kept drifting her way as well.
They really didn’t need a repeat of that time in first year. Steve had told them if it ever happened gain he’d post the photos of them drunkenly playing strip-twister chicken so no one would date them. It was not an empty threat.
Whatever. He’d have another drink for courage, then he and Bucky could make a gentleman’s agreement of some sort. Or Bucky could finally recognise he had an in with Natasha and let Sam try and woo this one.
He was so lost in his thoughts that he zoned back just in time for the situation to go to shit.
“I’m telling you guys,” Rumlow said, dropping his voice like he was imparting great wisdom. “You have to get in on this. 50% returns on your investment within two years, we’ll all be rich. We just need to buy $5000 worth of stock with HammerTech and we’ll be rolling in it. I have an in.”
Bucky quirked an eyebrow. “That sounds definitely too good to be true.”
“It’s the real deal,” Rumlow swore. “I met the guy at a networking event. It was run by the college so you know it’s legit. He’s launching a new company and we can get in on the ground floor of HammerTech before it becomes huge.”
“Yeah, well, Tony says Hammertech is doomed to fail because Justin Hammer is a moron,” Steve said, tipping his beer and chugging a few gulps. His skin was already flush, his tolerance was so low it was laughable. “Apparently he’s been trying to launch for awhile and no one wants to touch it.”
Sam hid a smile behind his hand as Rumlow looked pissed. Real or not, at least Tony was good for riling Rumlow up. Almost made it worth it.
“What the fuck does he know about it?” Rumlow stood up, the beer having clearly gone to his head and Sam saw Bucky twitch, instinctively ready to stop Steve getting beaten up. Again.
“Oh, Tony’s really smart. He already works for a Fortune 500 so he’s already pretty tuned into finance and the markets and all that.” Steve seemed to smile to himself. “I don’t have the head for it, but he knows everything, and he said he’s been approached by Hammer a few times but he ‘wouldn’t touch that with a goddamn flagpole’.”
Rumlow rolled his eyes, and Sam, though he hated to even semi-agree with that asshole couldn’t help but sigh.
Sure, Tony knew everything and the sun shone out of his perfect ass. He’d heard it a thousand times.
“You know no one believes your bullshit right?” Rumlow asked and any sympathy Sam had evaporated. “Everyone knows he’s fake.”
“Watch it Rumlow,” Bucky growled, and he stood up to stare the man down. “I think you’ve had too much to drink, maybe you should call it a night.”
The man threw his hands in the air. “I don’t know why you two keep pretending. What, Steve managed to pull a guy who looks like a model that none of us have ever seen in real life? What part of that makes sense to you?” He looked at Steve, who looked a little stricken. “No offence man, but let’s face it. You had no luck with girls, and I can’t imagine you do well with the guys either. I mean look at you.” He sighed. “Everyone thinks you send all that shit to yourself. Everyone knows he’s fake.”
God, hearing it out loud made Sam feel like a real jerk. Sure, he’d thought it, but seeing Steve’s face as Rumlow laid it all out there made him sick to his stomach. So what if Steve took comfort in saying he had a boyfriend, who was he hurting?
“That’s enough,” he matched Bucky, standing to flank Rumlow. “If you’re going to be a dick, you should leave.”
Rumlow took in both of their postures and huffed. “Whatever. You want to live in fantasy land that’s your problem. But you’re not helping him.” He picked up his phone and stormed out, the bar door slamming behind him.
Sam sat back down, and looked over to Steve who was staring at his glass looking morose.
“Hey Stevie.” Bucky sidled up next to Steve, bumping their shoulders together. “Forget Rumlow, let’s just have a good night huh?”
Steve looked at him for moment, then looked at Sam. “Does everyone think Tony’s not real?”
“Well,” Sam offered and Bucky glared at him. “I mean, course not.”
“They do, don’t they?” Steve looked a little horrified. “Wait, do you guys think that too?”
Sam kept his mouth shut this time, looking at Bucky to field this one and be reassuring.
Bucky stepped up, thank god. “Course not, pal,” he lied smoothly. “We’ve heard you on the phone to him.”
Steve stared him down, stubbornly. “Yeah, but do you think he’s real?”
The follow up clearly took Bucky aback because he hesitated, only for a split second but it was enough. Steve got to his feet, swaying a little.
“Oh my god, you don’t. That’s why you were trying to talk me up to the bartender earlier, I thought that was weird! Sam?” He spun to face him. “Do you?”
“I think he’s real,” Sam started, feeling guilty for what he was about to say. Which was unfair. It’s not like he was trying to be cruel, he just didn’t like the idea of Steve being taken advantage of. “I just think that maybe he’s not what he says he is.” Steve’s face fell and Sam hurried to clarify. “I mean I’m sure he’s nice and that he likes you just like he says—” Sam wasn’t actually sure about that but so far at least the guy hadn’t asked Steve for money“—but the photos you have of him all look professionally done, and what he just happens to be rich and live in California? Steve, I just worry he’s selling you a fantasy.”
Steve folded his arms over his chest, looking really hurt now. “And what, a guy like him could never be into a guy like me?”
Bucky jumped in, placing a hand on Steve’s shoulder. “That’s not what we’re saying.”
“But it’s what you’re thinking.” Steve looked at his feet miserably. “You think I haven’t thought that a hundred times? I know what I am.” He scuffed his foot awkwardly. “But Tony’s real. And as long as he still wants anything to do with me I’m not going to mess it up.”
He reached out and grabbed his beer, knocking back the last of it. “I’m going home.”
“He hasn’t left his room in like three days,” Bucky lamented, sipping his coffee. “He missed class. Steve never misses a lecture.”
“I think the polite term is we fucked up.”
“We? I was quite happy leaving him to it until you dragged me in.”
See, and that was probably also fair, but Sam wasn’t going to be feeling this guilty on his own. “You could’ve fixed it, you chose to agree with me.”
“You—“ Bucky sighed. “Actually it doesn’t matter, result’s the same.” He groaned, letting his head dip down even as his shoulders remained tense. “I should’ve put a stop to this ages ago. I don’t know. He was just so happy about it, and I didn’t have the heart to call him on it.”
“Maybe this is a good thing? He’ll move on and maybe start trying to meet new people.”
Bucky shook his head. “I know you mean well, Sam, but Steve is, fuck, like ten times bitten, twenty times shy. He’s never fallen for the right person, and you’ve seen him, people used to get a kick of messing with him.” He drummed his fingers on his mug. “Real or not, Tony made him happy.”
Now he felt like a real prick. “Yeah I guess.” They sat in silence for a bit. “What if we set him up on the apps? At least then he wouldn’t have to worry people didn’t know what they were in for.”
“Maybe. I-“
“Oh shit, sorry!” Someone knocked their table with their hip, tipping Sam’s coffee over in a splash across the surface. A hand snapped out righting the cup hurriedly. “Fuck, that’s my bad.”
Bucky leaned to grab napkins from the table next to them and threw a handful on the spill to mop up the mess. “No problem.”
The guy grabbed a few more napkins. “My fault, I got a bit lost on google maps. You two wouldn’t happen to know how to get to Xavier Hall would you?”
“Yeah it’s—“ Sam looked up to meet the guy’s eyes and froze. “You—uh—what?”
The guy raised an eyebrow at him. “Xavier Hall? It’s student living, it can’t be that far away is it?”
“But— Bucky?!”
“What?” Bucky looked up from where he’d been gathering the sopping mess. He’s gaze fell on the man and his eyes went wide. “Holy fuck.”
The guy - Tony, because it was, he looked just like Steve’s picture of him on his wall - gave them an odd look. “Is this some kind of performance art? I can ask someone else for directions.”
“No, it’s just, why are you here?”
Tony looked even more weirded out now. “You know what, I’m going to go, I can find it, you guys enjoy doing…whatever it is you’re doing.”
He tried to leave and Sam’s hand snapped out to catch his sleeve. “Sorry, I’m just a bit surprised is all. You’re Tony right?”
Tony’s eyes went a little hunted. “I think you’re mistaken, I’m—“
“Steve’s Tony?”
And like that, the tightness in his body melted away. He smiled, big and bright. “Yeah, that’s right. I came to surprise him but I haven’t actually been to the building.” Now that he was less a weirded out he gave them both searching looks. “Oh shit, you’re Bucky and Sam aren’t you? Sorry, took me a minute, Steve sent me pictures of you guys from your night out for Natasha’s birthday.”
This was simultaneously the best and worst thing ever, Sam thought, even as he shook Tony’s hand. Great because apparently Steve wasn’t delusional, and terrible because that meant Sam had basically called him delusional to his face. Fuuuuuuck.
“Nice to meet you finally,” Bucky managed, taking Tony’s hand as well when it was offered. “I’m glad you’re here, Steve’s feeling a bit down.”
Tony snapped his fingers. “Knew it. He kept telling me he was fine but something in his messages felt a bit off. Figured I’d better come out here and check in.”
Sam felt a little nauseous. He should come clean and admit they had something to do with that but he couldn’t. He swallowed it back. “Well, come on, we can take you to Xavier, save you bumping into anyone else’s table to find him.”
Tony laughed and nodded, stepping back to let them stand up. They made for the hall making idle - but slightly awkward - small talk, and it wasn’t long before they were unlocking their apartment.
Bucky walked over to Steve’s room. His door was still shut and he rapped his knuckles on the thin wood. “Yo, Stevie!”
“Go away Buck,” came the reply, slightly muffled as though Steve had his face tucked into his pillow.
“No can do. Get your tiny ass out of bed and come over here.”
There was a decidedly angry stomp as his feet hit the floor and only a moment before Steve’s door wrenched open and all 5’4” of pissed-off looking Steve stood in the doorway. “Why can’t you guys just—“
He stopped short, eyes going wide. “What?”
Tony huffed a chuckle, giving a little wave. “Hi sweetheart.”
Steve lip wobbled a little. “Tony?”
“In the flesh.” Tony gestured with a flourish. “Thought maybe it was time I came to see you for once.” The bravado dipped a bit, and now Sam could see the way his fingers were silently snapping at his side. “I was worried, I hope that’s okay.”
Steve still seemed to be in a state of shock but he nodded quickly. “Yeah. Yeah of course.”
Steve looked down at his baggy, too long plaid pyjama pants and old t-shirt. “I’m not really presentable.” He looked embarrassed. “You look great.”
Tony shook his head, already smiling. “Nah, you’re perfect. As always.”
Steve blushed.
Man, he and Bucky really needed to not be here.
Tony leaned against the doorway, looking every bit the romcom love interest with his tailored suit, stylishly ruffled hair and deliberately unbuttoned collar. Sam couldn’t believe this. “You weren’t being your usual self when we were messaging, and you didn’t want to call. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. Check that, you know, you weren’t done with me.” He ran a hand through that ridiculously soft-looking hair. “I’ve been asking a lot of you, so I’d understand if it was all too much and you were maybe thinking all my stuff wasn’t worth the trouble.“
“Tony….” Steve started, but Tony carried on.
“I thought things had been going well, but I’ve been wrong in the past, so I thought maybe I should come make sure, you know, and let you know that I really like how things are going, but that I’d understand if maybe you didn’t want to do this anymore—“
“No!” Bucky burst out, and both Tony and Steve looked at him wide-eyed. Sam was staring at him too. What are you doing?
Bucky glared back at Sam, before looking Steve’s way. “I think there’s just been some kind of crazy misunderstanding between you two lovebirds, huh? Your very real and good-looking boyfriend is here, so actually everything’s fine right?”
Steve covered his face with his hands. “Oh my god.” Sam groaned.
“Real smooth, Buck.”
Tony raised a tidy eyebrow. Even the man’s eyebrows looked good. “I feel like I’m missing something.”
Steve shook his head, stepping forward so his hands could rest on Tony’s hips. He looked positively besotted. “Everything’s fine. I was just—“ Steve only paused for a moment to pull up an excuse. “—really stressed about my assignment so I wasn’t feeling very chatty, but that wasn’t about you. You didn’t have to come all the way here just to make me feel better.”
Steve said the words, but Sam was pretty sure that just like him, Tony could read the pleased expression on Steve’s face. Tony didn’t have to come here, but Steve was clearly glad he did.
Tony smiled, looking relieved he wasn’t being dumped. “Of course I did. I—“ He stopped, looking at Sam and Bucky out of the corner of his eye. “—really, really like you, Steve Rogers. You think I’m letting you get away so easy?”
Sam exchanged a look with Bucky. They had absolutely just almost witnessed a first ‘I love you’ and Sam was honestly feeling more and more stressed about the fact they were still all in this conversation together.
Steve came up on his tippy-toes to give Tony a peck. “I really, really like you too, Tony Stark.”
Stark. Oh god. Tony Stark. Like Stark Industries. Sam wanted to bang his head against the wall. Because of course. He let out a small pained sound and Tony looked at him. “Uh, you okay there, Sam?”
“I’m good” Sam said, trying to sound friendly and normal. Like he was just having a normal day dammit. “We’re just really excited to finally meet Steve’s guy and it’s getting us a bit tongue-tied.” He cleared his throat. “I hear you invented Buck’s prosthetic?”
Tony’s face lit up as he looked at Bucky’s hand. “Yeah, I hope it works alright. Spent a long time on that puppy I can tell you. Do you find the reaction time okay? Because if not, there’s a little tweak I could make that would really speed that up.”
Buck blinked. “Oh, yeah, that would be great.”
Tony clapped his hands together. “Why don’t we do it over dinner? Now that we’ve all met I’d love to get to know Steve’s friends more. My treat.”
Steve put a hand on Tony’s chest, and Sam was taken aback by how casual it was, like Steve did it all the time. “You don’t have to, we can go somewhere and pay our share.”
Tony’s voice went low, hand coming to rest on Steve’s. “But what if I want to show you off, and show your friends a good time, hmm?” Steve blushed. He looked back up, raising his voice again. “We could take them to the same place we took your mom, she loved it.”
Steve rolled his eyes. “We’re not flying to Malibu.”
Sam stared. What.
Tony shook his head. “They’ve got a New York location. We can go all the time when I move to the New York office. Easy enough to make a booking.” He dropped a kiss on Steve’s hair. “I know you liked their ox tongue, and we know they’re allergy trained.” He looked over at Sam and Bucky with a wince. “We had an unfortunate incident at a restaurant involving surprise soy sauce. Really ruined date night. Not to worry, I had them shut down.”
Steve gaped, slapping his pec. “You did not!”
Tony was seemingly unmoved. “If they can’t follow a simple instruction like ‘I’m allergic to gluten’ then they don’t deserve to be open.” He flapped a hand. “Also JARVIS found out it wasn’t even close to the first time they fucked that up, so I was hardly going to let them have another chance.”
That sounded insane to Sam. Who had that much power? And who was Jarvis?
He was expecting Steve to make his usual complaints about how he could look after himself and that was way too over the top for a guy like him. Like he did anytime Sam or Bucky tried to step in and help out.
But Steve just stared up at Tony in awe, with almost visible hearts in his eyes.
Huh. Maybe Steve was finally getting what it was like to have someone love him that much. And clearly Tony did, if even half of what Steve had said about him turned out to be true. Which it looked like it all was.
“So, uh, you’ve met Sarah?” Bucky asked weakly, and Tony nodded.
“Lovely woman - lot of opinions on whiskey, great taste in films.”
Steve raised an eyebrow. “I sent you guys photos, remember? She and I went to see Tony in California.”
Holy fuck. Because he’d forgotten that part. All of Tony was real, not just his looks. Which meant he was a rich tech genius. And that suspiciously clean-looking beach had clearly not been Coney Island.
“Right,” Bucky said loudly, and Sam was glad one of them had it together enough to keep them afloat. He couldn’t believe how they’d missed so much of this. “Sorry, Steve just mentioned so many adventures you two have been on that I got a little mixed up.”
Tony huffed a laugh. “Yeah, maybe I have been a little enthusiastic.” He looked at Steve. “Though you’ll never make me regret renting out your baseball stadium.”
Bucky’s eyes went wide with outrage. “You went to Citi Field? Without me?”
Steve huffed at him. “I invited you! But you had that assignment remember? I distinctly recall you telling me to get out of the room under pain of death.”
Sam did actually remember that pretty well. He’d opted to hide out in the library that weekend rather get anywhere near an increasingly irritable Bucky.
“Probably for the best in the end though, right?” Tony said, giving Steve a nudge with his elbow, a glint in his eye. Steve blushed.
Bucky stared at him for a long moment before realisation dawned over his face. “Oh my god, you defiled the Mets?”
Steve went even redder, which Sam hadn’t thought possible. He was genuinely worried he might pass out. It wouldn’t exactly be the first time.
“It wasn’t like—look, it—I was just really grateful Tony took me to see it, okay? And when we were checking out the home plate, I got a little excited.”
Bucky looked an odd mix of horrified and impressed. “You fucked on the home plate??”
Steve shoved at Tony, whose shoulder had started to shake as he hid a laugh behind his hand. “It was just really overwhelming! And my passion for baseball…channelled elsewhere.”
“How am I going to watch a home game again now?” Bucky complained, looking horrified. “You’re the worst!” He looked a little jealous though, and he could see a tendril of smugness in Steve’s expression.
“Um, who sexiled Sam and I like five times in first year?” Steve shot back, and Bucky had the nerve to look proud. Sam slapped him around the back of the head.
Then his own face flushed. Clearly not even close to a virgin then either, given he’d apparently gone for semi-public sex in a stadium. God, Steve was going to hate him.
“Well, speaking of, it’s been lovely meeting you both,” Tony chipped in, arm coming around to tug Steve against him. “And I’ll get us a table for 7 tonight so we can spend some time together finally. But for now, I’ve really missed my little honey bunny so it might Steve’s turn to do a little bit of sexiling.”
Steve smacked his chest again, but it was a weak attempt. Sam could see the curl of a smile on his lips.
“Yeah,” Sam agreed, grabbing Bucky’s elbow. “We’ll get out of your hair. Nice to meet you, and uh, glad you exist?”
Tony looked a little confused. “…Thank you?”
Sam shot Steve an apologetic look, and Steve rolled his eyes. “We’re good, Sam.”
Sam felt a rush of relief. “Great. Come on, Buck, let’s get out of here.”
They headed out, both pointedly ignoring the soft moan Steve gave as his bedroom door slammed shut. They certainly didn’t waste any time. Sam wouldn’t say he was jealous per se, but he also wouldn’t say he wasn’t. What a wild day.
As they walked out of the building Buck punched his arm. “I can’t believe that. What the actual fuck?”
“I know,” Sam agreed, feeling a bit like he’d knocked over the head. Maybe this was actually a coma dream. He pinched himself. Nope, just somehow their actual life. “Fuck, Steve has got more fucking game than both of us.”
Buck pointed a metal finger at him. “Don’t say that, never say that. We’re great, ladies love us.”
“Not as much as hot rich guys love Steve apparently.”
Buck deflated. “Dammit.” But he was smiling. Sam could feel his face doing the same.
They stood outside for a moment, both clearly lost in their own thoughts.
“Do you think Tony could get me in to meet Taylor Swift?”
Jesus Christ.
Sam patted Buck’s arm. “Maybe we save that until after their first anniversary. Give Steve time to really lock that down.” He winced. “And us time to really grovel.”
They were never going to hear the end of this.