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She can neither understand nor explain how all this came about, how she arrived at this moment, where she stands before him at his cousin Charles’s wedding reception, and he speaks of his love for her.
This was the second time he told her of his feelings on this day. The first time he used those three little words, the revelation so stunned her that she choked on a pimento olive and he had to give her the Heimlich. Once dislodged, the olive flew through the air and landed in the nest of fancy curls that was Caroline Bingley’s hair. Caroline screeched indignantly while Mary longed for the ground to open beneath her feet and swallow her up. Simon tried to hide a smirk as he told his cousin not to worry; green was most certainly her color. Then he took Mary by the shoulders and steered her over to the shade of a leafy tree, where he told her once again how he felt.
When she finds her voice, it is high and squeaky. “You - you love me?!”
Simon offers her a soft smile. “Yes, I do. You sound surprised."
"I am!"
"Why - is it so unbelievable?”
Yes! She simply replies, “Oh, I don’t know.” There are many reasons why this declaration is unbelievable. She needs to pinch herself to be sure this is happening but she can’t think of how to go about it without looking like a mad woman.
“Well, I do love you. With every piece of my soul and I have from the moment I saw you. Mary, you’re so different from anyone I have ever met.”
“Usually, when people say that to me, they don’t mean it as a compliment.”
“It is in this case. You're unique. I love you march to the beat of your own drummer. I love you. Deeply - ardently.”
Mary doesn’t know what to do with that information. None of her books prepared her for this, not any of them. Even that trashy Pink Bible Lydia insisted all her roommates read had offered no real direction for a situation of this nature. A handsome gentleman in possession of a large fortune, incredible good looks, and a charming personality, who has graced the cover of Forbes and Business Weekly, is regularly featured on bachelor of the year lists, actually desires her? Ardently? This must be either a dream - the result of too much hot chocolate she consumed before bed the night before - or more likely, she is having some sort of psychotic episode; a mental break.
“I hope you’ll give me a real chance,” Simon tells her. He holds out his large hands to her and she ever so hesitantly slips her smaller fingers into his. His hands are warm and enveloping. She feels her face grow warm. It was never like this with Collins. While she’d nurtured a long-standing crush on the man, when they finally got together, he didn’t make her feel dizzy with wanton desire. And then, of course, when she was looking at Collins, he was always looking over her shoulder, scouting around for a better offer. He finally found one and dropped her right before their wedding. She remembers how humiliated she felt, going back to the church where everyone knew what had happened; remembers wondering what was worse: the mocking stares or the pitying ones.
And then Simon showed up at a church mixer about six months ago, blowing into her life like a hurricane and turning everything upside down. Every single person in the church - and even some attached persons - started chasing after him. He was fresh prey for the masses. Mary stayed far away from him, buried her nose in her books, and hardly noticed the tall drink of water. Or she pretended not to notice him anyway. But then he approached her at a church picnic one afternoon and tried striking up a conversation; asked her about the Dickens book she was reading. She could normally bend anyone’s ear about books but that time she found herself quite tongue-tied. He hardly seemed to notice though and he carried on enough for the both of them. When he asked her why they’d never spoken to each other before then, all she could manage to say was “Uh, unh” in response. Since then, they’d spent more time together, sometimes surrounded by friends, but always near enough to share poignant looks and the occasional touch that lasted for a second too long.
Mary knows she’s in love with him too and the feeling is overwhelming. None of her books prepared her for this either - dealing with truly loving someone and having them love you in return. The written word failed her for the first time ever, leaving her to draw her own conclusions. She'd been interested in Collins because she'd known him for so long and because it had been drilled into her head from youth that she needed a big, burly, scripture-thumping husband if she wanted to achieve the great things in life and beyond. But she found once she got over the humiliation of being dumped and discarded, she didn't miss Collins much. He could be so overbearing and opinionated. He told her what to wear and how a proper woman of God should act. He was critical and downright rude.
It was different with Simon from the beginning. She was attracted to him not just physically - he was a beautiful man with the warmest hazel eyes - but he had a sense of humor and could make people laugh and not at others' expense. He was kind and generous, always with a nice word for everybody he crossed. He was well-versed in religion but he never browbeat anyone with what he believed in. And he when talked to Mary, he seemed to drink in every word and really pay attention to what she was saying. He had a good heart and she was drawn to him in a way she didn't think was possible for her. It was scary and intimidating. Admittedly, a little exhilarating too.
He smooths a lock of her dark blonde hair from her face. She instinctively turns her cheek into his palm and his fingers linger on her skin. “Mary,” he says, his voice a whisper, “tell me you feel something for me too. Give me something to hope for, give us something to build on.”
Mary dares to look at him and meet his big brown eyes. “What do you love about me?” She asks.
“I love everything. Your voice, how unafraid you are to get up and sing your heart out when everyone else is too worried about what people will think. I love watching you sitting at the piano, how you carefully pick out the keys to play one of your favorite classical songs..."
“People don’t think I’m a very good musician.”
“Who cares what they think? I think you're wonderful.” He strokes the curve of her cheek and she shivers. “And I love how good and decent you are, just instinctively, you do the right thing and don’t let others dictate your actions. You’re a nice person - kind, sweet. And your eyes, they’re so beautiful.”
She sniffles. “You like them? Even though I wear glasses?”
“I love them. I just love you.”
Mary bites her lip. “But I don’t know how to be in love. I’m not good at it.”
“I think you sell yourself short, Mary. You already are a warm, loving person.”
Mary touches the bridge of her glasses nervously; then pushes them up to give him a good look. “Do you truly mean everything you said?”
“Truly."
“Well... it’s going to take some time, you know, to learn how to be good at love, but I’m willing to try.”
He smiles. “We can figure it out as we go along.” Then he kisses her.
Mary arches up onto her tippy toes and he slips his lean arms around her waist.
There is clapping behind them. Mary blushes furiously. Darcy and Elizabeth stop for a moment to applaud them. “It’s about time,” Elizabeth said. “We thought you two would never get your act together.”
“Look who’s talking,” Mary retorts, dabbing at her hot cheeks.
They all laugh at her impertinence.
Darcy’s arm is around Elizabeth’s shoulders. “Jane is about to toss the bouquet,” Elizabeth says. “We just came over to tell you. She wants all the single ladies to make a grab for it, but be careful, Lydia and Kitty have their claws out and are going in for the kill.”
Mary looks at Simon and blushes. She looks back to Darcy and Elizabeth. “I believe you could put up a good fight, Miss Bennet,” Darcy says.
Elizabeth grins as if he’s just proposed to her. Perhaps in a way, he has. Mary is sure they will be next to the altar and she’s happy for them. She is in no rush to get there herself.
Darcy and Elizabeth seem to float away on a cloud of happiness. Simon touches Mary’s hair. “Do you want to -”
“Let the other women have a chance,” Mary says. “There’s a lot of time... for things of that nature. For now, I want to take this day by day. I don’t want to miss a moment of the important stuff.”
“Mmm, what do you consider important stuff?”
Mary blushes and then gathering her courage grabs him by the collar of his white button-down. She pulls him into another kiss. No explanation necessary.