Chapter Text
"My dragon is the best dragon."
That is the most popular proverb on the island of Berg. Dragons and rider duo choose each other based on similarities, being perfect counterparts to each other. Some people wondered whenever it's possible for a Viking with a strong will to impose his trait on his dragon.
No one ever considered the possibility of another way around.
Hiccup was assessing his situation.
First thing: ass. A big flabby ass was crushing his knees, successfully restricting his movements.
Above the posterior there was equally massive cleavage and the face of his colleague dragon rider Ruffnut Thorston, staring at him with newfound infatuation.
Judging by the sound outside, Toothless was dealing with similar troubles.
"You know, Hiccy, I always found you a little cute. Just a liiiiitle, insy-tinsy bit," Ruffnut got a little closer, threatening to suffocate Hiccup in her fat. Then she grabbed his cheeks and squished them together. "But now I see you're really cute! My little cutie pie, handsome lover boy~!"
"Ruffnut, I have a girlfriend!" tried to protest Hiccup, but Ruffnut pretended she didn't understand through his squashed face.
"What's that? You want me to be your girlfriend? Oh, Hiccy..." Ruffnut puckered up. Young Viking tried to wriggle in every direction, but it was hopeless. With loud SMOOOOOOOCH their lips met. Hiccup's face turned green. What was she eating?
Ruffnut giggled, her hand lowered to his trousers. Before things went from bad to horrifying, someone knocked on the doors.
"Hey, Hiccup. It's time for..." Gobber stopped in doors, surprised. "...am I interrupting something?"
Hiccup laid on the ground, sweating heavily. Ruffnut was nowhere to be seen.
Fascinating, if not terrifying.
* * * * *
In the evening Hiccup went to bed and put out the candle. Something kisses his nose. When he finally got the light on, the room was empty.
Ruffnut really grew similar to her dragon, to quite a scary degree. Hiccup made sure to always have company for the rest of the day, but she kept appearing for a fraction of a second, sometimes to snuggle, sometimes to steal a kiss and sometimes just to remind him of her presence, smiling to him seductively.
Hiccup knew he couldn't keep this up. He informed his dad that he's leaving for a while and started preparations for the trip.
"Grease Grubs Mating Season will last for another week," he explained to Toothless while attaching packs with food to his saddle. "If we leave the island for that period, Ruffnut should forget about me... hopefully."
Black dragon nodded in agreement. He too wasn't fond of his new self-appointed mate. The viking and his dragon flew into the air. For five glorious minutes, Hiccup could just lose himself in flying, forgetting about all problems and the world around him.
Then a giant fat shadow eclipsed the sun.
"Hiiiii, Hicy~" screamed Ruffnut toward him. At the same time, she threw a lasso around Toothless tail.
Now, Hiccup is a pretty clever guy. He could figure out something. Heck, he could just cut the rope.
But Toothless was in the end just a dragon and he panicked.
A single kittenish sound from Pigsnout caused Toothless to dive down away from his pursuers. But the rope withstood and extra weight threw our dark dragon completely off balance.
Hiccup screamed, they were falling right into a stone pillar. Gathering all his strength, he forced Toothless to go left. Ruffnut made Pigsnout move right.
At this point, rope hit the rock surface. Kinetic energy forced both dragons to turn, now heading into each other. Whenever girls planned this or not, they seized the occasion to pucker up.
What followed was two loud SMOOOOOOCH-es that the ocean carried far far away, scaring local fauna and several fishermen.
Then both dragons began to fall.
* * * * *
"....Hicy?.....Hiiiiicy?.......Do you need mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?"
Hiccup immediately woke up to face a slightly disappointed Ruffnut.
"Wh-where are we?" The young Viking looked around to see a tiny island, barely big enough for all four of them. Toothless was there too, desperately trying to fly away from Pigsnout, who waited at the ground with a puckered out snout. But no matter how black dragon tried, he kept falling back to his 'girlfriend'.
"His tail device got damaged during the crash landing!" Ruffnut was talking loud over the make-out session behind her. "And Pigsnout brushed her wings. Looks like we're stuck here until someone finds us."
"What? That could be hours! Maybe even days! Hiccup moved to check on the mechanical part of Toothless tail he made, but it was clearly broken. Ruffnut made sure of that.
Ruffnut smiled and started to pull off her clothing. After all, they were wet from the crash, so she could catch a cold. And since she didn't have any spare, it made only sense to get close to the nearest source of heat.
"Cheer up Hiccy. We have enough food to stay here all week!" Hiccup turned to see Ruffnut wearing nothing but a bikini and Viking helmet, strutting to him 'sexily'. "As for boredom...."
Ruffnut leaned toward him, flaunting her chest and puckered up. Hiccup just whimpered before thick mass crashed upon him, drowning young viking with her love.
* * * * *
A few hundred feet above two dragon riders flew on the patrol.
"Hey, I see movement down below!" said the younger rider. "Do you think they need our help?"
"Hold on, let me look through a telescope," The older Viking pulled the device and looked toward the tiny island. He saw the pants, the flying bra and...
"Well? What did you see? And why are you grinning like that?"
"Come on lad, we check on them later," chuckled the old Viking. "Those two probably want some time alone ...."
THE END
Related art
https://www.deviantart.com/m-a-v-e-r-i-c-k/art/Ruff-Ruffnut-681958267