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Shattered

Summary:

Jimin was at his best friends wedding when he saw his ex Yoongi.

All Jimin could think was how do you go back to being strangers with someone who has seen your soul?

Work Text:

Jimin was finishing up things for his best friend's wedding, which was in just a few days. He was so happy for him, glad he could find a love to last his whole life. He himself had not been so lucky, he thought he had it only for them to leave him. He was prepared for forever with Yoongi and it didn’t happen.

He printed out the last of the place cards and was cutting them down when his heart sank to his stomach. Calling out to his best friend. “Taetae…..”

He couldn’t help how it broke off at the end, Taehyung ran over to him. “Jimin, are you okay?”

In his hands he was holding a place card for Yoongi. He looked up at Taehyung, eyes full of tears. “He, he’s coming.”

Taehyung sighed while sitting down. “I am sorry baby, I didn’t know how to tell you. Part of me was hoping he would say no, or not show.”

Jimin shook his head. “No it’s fine, I mean he is Jungkook's cousin, why wouldn’t he come. He practically raised him.”

Taehyung frowned. “Are you mad at us?”

Jimin shook his head again. “Because me and him didn’t work out doesn’t mean you can’t have family around. I just thought it wouldn’t hurt as much. It's been three years, but I guess with you two getting married we would have to see each other again at some point.”

Jimin wiped the tears from his face as Taehyung pulled him in for a hug. “I should have said it sooner, I am sorry.”

Jimin smiled softly. “You had bigger things to worry about, you’re getting married in three days. Now come on, let's get back to work.”

Taehyung nodded with a sad smile before going back to work on the favors. Jimin stared at the card, noticing like others it did not say Min Yoongi and Guest, at least he was coming alone and Jimin did not have to see someone else hanging on his arm.

*-*-*-*-*

The night of the rehearsal dinner was there, in a pretty hall with friends and family gathered. Taehyung was all smiles, Jimin was running around doing his job as the best man to make sure it was all perfect so he didn’t have to worry.

He was glancing around to make sure nothing was out of place when he walked in. His chest burned with ache seeing him, Yoongi looked just as handsome as ever. His hair is a bit longer and shaggy, how Jimin always hoped he would have it. Before he could meet Yoongis eyes he looked away, moving to keep himself busy. Helping people find their seats, putting on a smile for Taehyung to not ruin this moment for him.

Jimin couldn’t help but look over from time to time, thankfully Yoongi never looked his way. He wasn’t sure if he was more relieved or hurt that Yoongi didn’t bother him. Of course he was mostly busy but still it did not hurt any less. He couldn’t help but wonder how do you go back to being strangers with someone who has seen your soul.

Dinner was easy, mainly eating and mingling. Jimin made a slide show that played with videos and photos of Taehyung's and Jungkooks shared moments. Just them alone but also friends and family in attendance. Jimin wanted to be petty but he wasn’t for Jungkook's sake so Yoongi was in them.

Jimin just left out the ones where him and Yoongi were together looking so in love. When the night ended Jimin had to usher Taehyung off insisting they spent the night apart and met at the altar.

Taehyung was weepy how he would miss him but couldn’t wait to meet him again to marry. When they were alone in the hotel room together Taehyung asked if he was okay, Jimin lied, like he had been doing for years now that he was fine. Fixing a smile on his face that some days even he believed.

While Taehyung slept peacefully next to him, likely dreaming of his wedding, Jimin laid staring at the ceiling praying to make it through the next day so he could just move on from Yoongi.

*-*-*-*-*

The next day felt even more whirlwind, setting up the venue, getting himself ready, helping Taehyung get ready. Next thing he knew he was walking down the aisle knowing Taehyung was following behind. He smiled at Jungkook, truly happy for them.

He kept his eyes locked to the front trying not to look around and see Yoongi in the seats watching. Then curing the ceremony, choosing to focus on Jungkook and Taehyung as they exchanged vows.

He teared up for his friend and his own broken heart, knowing the person he wanted to exchange those vows with was seated not far from him.

*-*-*-*-*

He felt he finally could breathe when the reception started and the DJ said he worked with the venue and the wedding planner and they had it on lock so Jimin could just enjoy himself now. He felt he mostly needed alcohol to get himself through the rest of it.

He kept the smile on his face, laughing like he was having a good time. He was but also the nagging thought in the back of his mind that Yoongi was in the same room. Taking a break to the side of the room he looked around truly happy for the people celebrating his best friend.

Then he saw him again, a big gummy grin on his face and arm around Jungkook. He looked completely happy and carefree. His smile looked so genuine that Jimins heart went to his throat. He stepped back, his breathing becoming challenging, like the room was closing in on him. He needed to get the hell out of there.

He saw a door leading to the outside and bolted through it. He could only stumble away from the building, the music finally becoming silent, sinking to his knees he finally broke a sob ripping from his throat.

His fingers dug into the ground as he tried to hold himself there, keep himself from breaking apart. He felt a hand on his back and he shook his head looking up to tell whoever was to go back, thinking it was Taehyung. When he sees the concerned eyes of Yoongi looking down at him.

He feels rage fill him as he breaks further crying harder Jimin shakes his head. “No, leave, fucking leave. Go the fuck away.”

Jimin is shaking, crying and angry but Yoongi doesn’t leave, he sits on the ground with him pulling a sobbing Jimin into his arms. Jimin cries more, his voice cracking trying to speak. “S-stop, just leave, like you did before just leave.”

Yoongi shakes his head. “I can’t not again.”

Jimin laughs bitterly. “Like you fucking care, just let go of me and fucking go Yoongi.”

Jimin tries to wiggle free but Yoongi tightens his hold, Jimin looks up to scream some more but is silenced seeing Yoongi crying. His brows knit with confusion. “Dont fucking cry cause I am, just cut it out. Yoongi….please just please.”

Yoongi holds tighter. “Leaving you was the biggest mistake of my life.”

Jimin laughs bitterly again the moment replaying in his head like it was yesterday……

FLASHBACK

Jimin is humming in the kitchen preparing dinner and waiting for Yoongi to come home from work. He looks at the little box on the counter and smiles, it wasn’t a ring but a key to his place. Yoongi had always said how he was happier when his days started and ended with him. So he was going to ask him to move in.

Jimin was ready to move forward with him, he knew Yoongi was his forever. He hears the door open before a dropping bag and footsteps coming closer. He turns with a smile that quickly falls when he sees Yoongi. He can tell he had a bad day, Jimin quickly moves closer but Yoongi puts his hands up.

Jimin stops in his tracks. “Baby are you okay? What's wrong?”

Yoongi shakes his head. “Come sit, we need to talk.”

Jimin walks over, turning off the stove, his heart pounding in his chest. Before joining Yoongi at the dining table. Yoongi sits across from him, not next to him, his hands in his lap a solemn look on his face.

Yoongi takes a deep breath. “I have to go to America.”

Jimin lets out a breath. “Is that all, when do you have to go and for how long?”

Yoongi shakes his head. “I leave tomorrow, I am not coming back Jimin.”

Jimin doesn’t understand. “What do you mean?”

Yoongi looks at him, his eyes void of any of their usual warmth. “I am tired Jimin, tired of fucking doing what every one else wants of me. It's my turn. I got an opportunity I can pass up and I quit my job with my father. I am leaving and not coming back.”

Jimin nods. “Okay well, we can work this out. I can visit you, and we can talk on video calls, and the phone. I can maybe find something out there.”

Yoongi slams his hands on the table. “No Jimin you do not get it, this is going to happen and you will not be in the picture.”

Jimin chokes out a sob. “Are you, are you breaking up with me?”

Yoongi looks at him. “Yes, god, my father trying to plan my future, you are always talking about our future. But no one gives a shit about what I want. So I am doing what I fucking want and I am done with all of you!”

Jimin just stares this is not his Yoongi. “Yoongi, did something happen, did I do anything? Talk to me.”

Yoongi shakes his head. “I am done talking, and done listening. This here is just done.”

Jimins heart is shattering, he was just thinking about them moving in together and now all his hopes are torn to pieces. He fills the anger bubbling in him. “Get out then, if this is so fucking done. Leave, fucking go.”

He thinks he sees something flit across Yoongis face before he pushes himself out of the chair, it toppling to the ground. “Goodbye Jimin.”

Jimin doesn’t move as he watches Yoongi walk away, not looking back, grabbing his back and finally a slamming door. He breaks apart crying not understanding anything that happened, he calls Taehyung who rushes to him.

That was three years ago, it took Jimin forever to get himself back together. Jungkook tried often saying Yoongi would say hi, or if he could pass a message but anytime his name was brought up Jimin promptly shut it down.

He blocked Yoongi on everything, and his phone number. Yoongi wanted to be done so he made it so he was completely done and out of Jimins life.

Now he is looking at Yoongi confused. “How can it be your biggest mistake? You made no efforts to fix it, you left me with no reason why and were just done. I gave you what you wanted”

Yoongi lets go as Jimin crawls from his lap sitting on the ground, he is still angry and crying but thinks he needs this closure to finally move on. Yoongi sighs. “I couldn’t contact you, you blocked me on everything. So I tried through Jungkook, but he said you wanted nothing to do with me.”

Jimin nods. “Yeah I did, and I don’t Yoongi. You broke me, absolutely destroyed me. It took me forever to even try and be a part of the world. Then half the time I am faking being okay.”

Yoongi shakes his head, tears flowing. “I was so angry then and not at you. God fuck, I took it out on you. I regretted it the second you told me to leave.”

Jimin makes a face. “So why did you?”

Yoongi sighs. “I had already sold my apartment, my ticket to America was booked. I had it out with my father and told him I was fucking gone.”

Jimin just sits silently. Yoongi chuckles, shaking his head. “I got a dream opportunity to pursue music production. With a great company, I should have been there celebrating with you figuring it out.”

Jimin nods. “You always wanted that, and not to work for your father.”

Yoongi looks at Jimin, he can see his own pain mirrored in his eyes. “I told my father, he was livid, and said I would be ruining his legacy. I asked him what about my own, he told me that I needed to run the business and marry you. That was my legacy.”

Jimin hums. “I was tied to that, all of our memories.”

Yoongi pulls at the grass. “Yeah, I just snapped. Next thing I know I had hired movers to put my stuff in storage, sold my place, and had a flight out. I was still so angry when I first got to you I was just screaming out my frustrations.”

Jimin sighs remembering the night again. Yoongi reaches out wanting to take Jimins hands but stops himself. “You were still you, ever supporting and loving, ready to support me through whatever I was doing. You didn’t even ask, just right into how we can make it work. I realized I was the problem. You were and are too good for me.”

Jimin shook his head, taking Yoongis hands. Yoongi squeezes them. “Please don’t say anything to comfort me, not when it's true. I do not deserve any forgiveness or comfort from you.”

They hear footsteps coming closer both men turning towards the sound. Taehyung and Jungkook are there, Jungkook looking concerned and Taehyung ready to murder. Yoongi puts his hands up, making Jimin giggle. “Relax Tae, he isn’t being mean to me.”

Taehyung snorts. “I know, I saw him coming after you and threatened to rip his balls off if he did again.”

Jimin giggles more. “You didn’t”

Yoongi nods. “He did, and Jungkook only said Taehyung was in charge now.”

Jimin smiles at his friends. “Thank you guys, but I have a question.”

They both nod at him. “All those times I stopped you from bringing Yoongi up?”

Jungkook smiles softly. “He wanted to apologize again and again, he almost wasn’t going to come to not make you uncomfortable, I said you would be more disappointed in him if he didn’t come.”

Jimin nods. “It's true, he’s your cousin. I would have been massively disappointed, you being here made both of them happy.”

Yoongi reaches out cupping Jimins face. “You always were so considerate of others' happiness. Jiminie, how can I make you happy again? Can I fix something I destroyed?”

Jimin sighs. “I don’t know if you will have the time. You can’t be here for long.”
Yoongi shakes his head. “I moved back a few weeks ago. I was getting myself settled hoping I could use this weekend to try and talk to you.”

Jimin looks between them, Taehyung squeaking before dragging Jungkook away. “Oh we should get back to our guest, love you Chim bye!”

Jimin glares at them before looking back to Yoongi. “Are you back with your father?”

Yoongi shakes his head. “No, the company I left to work for merged with an office here. They sent me to be CEO.”

Jimin blinks before smiling. “God, you did it, all your dreams to be a music producer and run your own music label.”

Yoongi shakes his head. “Honestly it all feels meaningless without you by my side.”

Jimins lip trembles. “Min Yoongi, do not use sweet lines on me.”

Yoongi sighs. “Baby, I never stopped loving you. I never saw anyone else. Never even bothered, I just worked day and night getting my name out there so that I could try and come back to you.”

Jimin tilted his head. “What if I moved on? What if I hated you? What if I don’t want any of this?”

Yoongi lets out a shaky breath. “That is all possible and still is. They didn’t tell me much, saying if I didn’t want you to know it wasn’t theirs to tell.”

He thinks he has good friends, they may have colluded against him but definitely cared about him. He looks at Yoongi. “I am still so very hurt and angry Yoongi.”

Yoongi nods. “As I expect, I do not expect you to just welcome me back and go back to how we were. I just ask that you give me a chance to prove my love. To prove it never left, that if I have the chance to call you mine again I will not waste it this time.”

Jimin looks at Yoongi seeing his aged face, the hurt behind his eyes. The complete vulnerability he had right now. Jimin just takes a deep breath shaking his head. Yoongi nods. “Okay you can say no now, but I hope you know I will keep trying.”

Jimin smiles softly. “It's not a no, but it’s not a yes.”

Yoongi looks surprised. “I can deal with a maybe, I can deal with a we can see. Let me take you out, let us start over, I know I cannot erase all the pain but I hope to fix all that I broke.”

Jimin just lets out a breath. “Well you have to start with something right now.”

Yoongi nods. “Anything, you name it and its yours. I will cut my arm off if you ask that of me.”

Jimin giggles. “Settle down, that's a little much. I understand it but it's too much.”

Yoongi rubs the back of his neck, Jimin remembers that as his nervous tick doing it when he asked him on their first date, then when he asked to be his boyfriend. Jimin thinks they can go back to square one, he wasn’t sure how it would go but his heart loved Yoongi still. A love like that doesn’t go away, it was hard to shake even three years later.

Jimin puts his finger in Yoongis chest. “You have to woo the hell out of me, and start right now by kissing me.”

Yoongi doesn’t think twice grabbing Jimins face and kissing him deeply Jimin sighs into the kiss moving back into Yoongis lap. He missed the passion with which Yoongi would touch him. It always felt like flames were licking Jimins skin as his hands moved over him.

Jimin couldn’t help but grind down, he missed this, he wanted to feel that Yoongi still desired him. He took what he could from Yoongi, spurring on more and more. When he broke the kiss and they were both panting. “I have a room upstairs, why don’t you show me how much you missed my body.”

Yoongi sucks in a breath. “Are you completely sure? I haven’t been with anyone since you, I only ever dreamed of touching you again.”

Jimin nods. “I only ever dreamed of you touching me again.”

It felt like he was dreaming and floating as once again he felt Yoongis hands on him, once they entered his room. Him fisting the sheets, Yoongi working him through it all. His pleasured cries, Yoongi holding him close.

It felt all too familiar and all too new. He felt the years of want and desire in every kiss, fingers digging into his hips. Yoongis eyes looked into his eyes, both men shedding tears. Jimin lay on Yoongis chest, being held impossibly close. Jimin kisses his chest before looking up. “You are shaking, are you okay?”

Yoongi shakes his head. “I fear this is a dream and I will wake up without you here. I am terrified if I am being honest.”

Jimin sighs. “I missed you so much, and truthfully I still love you and never stopped. Please don’t break my heart again.”

Yoongi shakes his head. “I wont baby, if you allow me to love you again. I promise to care for you all the rest of my days.”

Jimin smiles. “I can’t allow you to love me either you do or you don’t, but I want to try this. My life doesn’t feel right without you but you have a lot of proving to do.”

Yoongi cups his cheek. “I will work harder on this than anything I ever have in my entire life.”

Jimin just snuggles into his chest, thinking it was the most home he has felt in a while. He knew they had a road to go, but felt in his heart giving Yoongi another chance was the right thing to do. Yoongi knew his bare soul, as he knew Yoongis and he always felt he belonged with him. Who was he to knock fate when he got a second chance.