Chapter Text
Josie caught herself struggling to keep her eyes open as she laid on the couch. She was ready to be off her pain medication, as she could feel the toll the pills took on her mentally, always causing her to feel tired. But realistically, she knew it wasn’t happening anytime soon. Her doctors had fulfilled her request to have her dose halved, the pilot mentality taking over when it came to prescription drugs, but the constantly ache coming from her leg let her know she couldn’t handle the recovery alone just yet.
Through sleepy eyes, she looked over to Cruz to see the woman with her eyes on the TV but not actually watching. She wanted to know what she was thinking but wanted to continue to respect her space. Almost sensing eyes on her, Cruz looked to Josie.
Her eyes softened as she said, “I’ve been seeing you fight off sleep for the last twenty minutes. Why don’t you go to bed?”
And the truth of the matter was, Josie desperately wanted to go lay down in a real bed. But the question from earlier loomed over her – which room was she expected to sleep in? She didn’t want to assume and make herself look eager or dumb, but she also didn’t want to send the wrong message to the marine either. Josie very much wanted to be sharing a bed together.
Choosing to not be the one who decided, she responded in a question, leaving it up for interoperation – “Okay, is the guest bed made up?” It was easier for her to let Cruz decide what she wanted; it was her house after all.
“Um, yeah. If that’s where you want to sleep?”
“That’s fine.” Josie tried to sound indifferent.
“Okay then.” Cruz seemed disappointed but she didn’t argue and Josie took that as her sign, getting up and heading for the back of the house.
Once she laid down, she regretted it almost immediately. She felt the absence of the woman who had been sharing her hospital room with her. It was almost like a safety blanket, knowing that when she woke up with nightmares from the warzone, Cruz was right there, grabbing her hand and bringing her back to the reality of where she was. Maybe for now she could be grateful for her medication because she was asleep before she could get too deep into her own head.
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Cruz is cleaning up the house, unable to sleep. She had wanted to work-out like she usually would, but didn’t want to wake Josie. Her thoughts since returning from Langley had been loud, hard for her to focus. If she was truly honest with herself, she was scared. Scared for the life she liked and was leaving, the comfort of knowing what her role was. Scared for the life of the team she had learned to love, coming far from drinking too much the night they had met. How was she supposed to be responsible for all of them? How did Joe dive head first into every mission with the confidence it was the right plan? She remembered reading about imposter syndrome, but it was the first time in her life she had felt it.
Her thoughts are interrupted when she hears a scream coming from the back of the house. Josie.
Running in, she can see the pilot is still asleep but thrashing in the bed. She had been having these PTSD nightmares when they first got to the hospital, but the doctors had given her extra medication at night to try and stop them. Cruz blames herself for thinking they wouldn’t come back.
With a forceful hand on her shoulder, Cruz tries to wake her up quickly. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. You’re okay.”
The moving stop, Josie has tears coming down her face, and she’s breathing fast. Cruz continues, climbing into bed, “It’s okay. I’m here. We’re okay.”
They sit there like that in silence for a bit, Cruz’s arms around Josie, Josie’s fist tight on Cruz’s shirt – not being willing to let go.
With a hoarse voice, Josie begins to explain, “… the team never made it after we crashed, and you never made it out of the helicopter.” Cruz tightens her arms around her, the nightmares were similar but did change, always forcing Josie to face the gunfight. “I couldn’t hide, I was trying to crawl behind the rocks… They had grabbed me and were pulling me into one of their trucks when you woke me up.”
“What can I do?” Cruz remembers the PTSD she had trying to sleep following Asmar and Ehsan, running in her pajamas to escape the compound, to leave Aaliyah.
Josie is quiet for a moment, contemplating showing the marine just how much she really needs her. In the end, her heart beats her mind, and she whispers, “Can you stay?”
The softness in Cruz’s response makes Josie feel warm. “Of course.”
Getting comfortable, Cruz leans down and kisses the other woman on her forehead. She hadn’t done it since she first woke up in the hospital, but it felt like something they both needed.
Cruz was prepared to be restless for the night, remembering how she felt before Josie’s dreams. But laying in her home, with this woman in her arms, she felt a comfort she hadn’t felt since New York. Exhaustion crept over her and together they slept more peacefully than either had experienced in some time.
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Josie wakes up alone again. Even with her interrupted sleep, she feels rested. She slept in Cruz’s arms all night and with the closeness of her, she didn’t have any other dreams. She doesn’t know how she didn’t feel the other woman getting out of bed and she can’t hear her anywhere in the house.
After brushing her teeth, she crutches into the kitchen to find Cruz cooking breakfast, with headphones in. She’s shocked to find that the woman is dancing, or more so moving her head and shoulders to the beat inside her ears. Josie is laughing to herself when Cruz notices she is there. Taking her headphones out and pouring an extra cup of coffee, Cruz just smiles.
“Well, good morning to you.” And an added thank you when grabbing the cup. Josie isn’t sure what changed, but the mood around her feels lighter. Happier. Maybe Cruz was just a morning person.
Continuing, she adds, “Dinner now breakfast, you are full of surprises?”
Shrugging, the taller woman adds, “Before the marines I used to work at a diner. When you worked the morning shift, eggs were the only meal we could get for free and I was broke, so this has been my breakfast every morning since.” There it was, more insight to her, who she was, how she became the Cruz that stood in front of Josie today.
What Josie was picturing in her head was not even close to the true long nail, large hoop earring version of Cruz that existed in that diner. The attitude though? Pretty spot on. “I would have loved to be a fly on the wall when someone sent their order back.”
“I think that’s why they kept me in the back.” They both were laughing.
Cruz couldn’t stop thinking about how nice this was, to share this with another person, but specifically with Josie. Cruz had been humming since she woke up. She knew she had been falling for the pilot, but after starting her day next to her this morning, she decided she didn’t want to try and hide it anymore. She just didn’t know how to go about it.
Cruz had always been shy, she never made the first move with anyone, and that was especially true with the few moments of intimacy the two had shared together. The shorter woman had been so forward and confident, pushing them in the direction Cruz was wanting this go.
Unable to get herself to say anything, she plates their breakfast and decides to let the moment pass.
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Breakfast was quiet, but quick. Josie is standing near the counter , humming over her coffee - “I could get used to this.” She had missed a fresh cup in the morning.
“I was hoping there were a few things you might want to get used to.” Another olive branch from Cruz, but this one more direct, not hidden behind cooking someone a meal for the first time.
Josie paused, unsure of where this was taking her. Intrigued, and again wanting to leave it up to Cruz, she asks “Like what?”
There have been many moments in Cruz’s life where she decided where her future was going to go: signing her name to become a marine, basically begging Joe to be her next Lioness, staying enlisted after her mission, and now - moving forward, putting her palms on the counter on each side of Josie, keeping the woman there. Breathlessly, staring at her lips she adds, “Me.”
Josie’s breath hitches. Both of their hearts are hammering in their chests, the anticipation of this moment leading both of them to be hesitant.
Then, Josie moves first, her hands grabbing onto Cruz’s waist and they’re both moving their heads to meet each other. It starts slow and soft, regardless of how many times they had been interrupted, both of them wanting to savor this moment.
And like deja vu, Josie is angling her body to be closer to Cruz, moving her hands from her waist onto the back of her neck, threading her fingers through her hair, pulling her closer and deepening the kiss. It’s quick and it’s hot and Cruz is slipping her tongue into Josie’s mouth.
Overwhelmed by the sheer want she has felt for Cruz, a moan escapes from her throat. It’s enough to push Cruz over the edge, her hands moving from the counter to Josie’s chest. Still in the shirt she slept in, Cruz can feel she’s not wearing a bra and her nipples are hard.
Cruz pulls back, slightly, when Josie moans again. With her head resting on forehead, both gasping, she asks, “What about your foot?”
Her hands still around the taller woman’s neck, not breaking eye contact with her lips, she says “I’m fine.” She doesn’t even try to hide the desperation.
Josie expected Cruz to stop or get them to move somewhere where her foot would be okay, what she did not expect was to have the woman lift her suddenly and place her on the counter.
“Rather not take any risks moving you.” Is all she says before her lips are crashing back into Josie. They’re kissing harder this time, brushing their tongues together. Their lips moving with growing intensity, moans escaping both of them now.
Cruz lets her hands begin to roam, from Josie’s back, to her chest and down her sides. She, slowly, tears her lips from Josie’s to put wet kisses to her neck. Josie inhales sharply, she can feel Cruz everywhere. She’s gasping, pulling her closer by her hair, wanting there to not be one inch between them. As badly as she has wanted to have sex with this woman, she has never been so turned on in her life with while not being undressed, she realizes she could do this for hours. Possibly even forever.
Cruz, seems to have other thoughts and her hands are down at the hem of her t-shirt, fingers scraping just under it, sending a chill up Josie’s spine. She moves back up to kiss her lips again before leaning back so she can take the shirt off.
Cruz takes her in, allows the kitchen to be filled with their uneven and shallow breathing. 2 weeks of bedrest did NOT change one thing about this woman’s body. “Beautiful” she whispers, before Josie’s hand finds her’s and is pulling her back in.
Cruz’s grabs at Josie’s chest again, her lips find her jaw and Josie can feel herself ruining her underwear. She doesn’t want to rush it, she wants to feel exactly what Cruz wants to give her. But when Cruz’s tongue swipes over in collar bone, an exasperated “please” slips out before she can stop it.
The marine takes it as an order, and God - Josie was never going to complain about how she listened to them again. She’s kissing down the length of her neck and her hand gets replaced with her mouth, wrapping her lips around Josie’s nipple. Josie’s hand finds the back of Cruz’s head again, leaning back, in pure ecstasy.
A thought crosses Josie’s mind that she might cum just from this, no one has ever made her feel this good. And before she can even comprehend how turned on she actually is, she feels Cruz kissing down her stomach.
When she gets to the base of her stomach, she pauses, asking permission. Josie answers by spreading her legs and lifting her ass, allowing Cruz to grab her shorts and the soaked underwear attached down and over the boot.
Cruz steps back into her space, they make eye contact and Josie is ruined and she hasn’t even touched her there yet. They’re breathing is short and deep, both of them feeling the intensity of what this is.
Slowly, Cruz runs her hand up Josie’s right leg, trailing her fingers starting at her calf. She’s watching her own fingers and the goosebumps that follow in their trail. She is so turned on at just the thought of tasting Josie, of being the one who is able to get this explicit of a reaction out of her, taking her composure and watching it crumple right in front of her.
When she gets to her thigh, she palms the inside of Josie’s leg - spending it further. She repeats the same trail with her mouth, leaving wet open kisses where her fingers just were. She knows that the angle with her on the counter isn’t going to be enough for her to start with her fingers, but she’s grateful because she can’t wait to taste her.
Josie is a mess above her, just the vision of having Cruz between her legs making her way to her center is making the entire experience euphoric. It is better than every time she’s imagined it in her head.
Then, Cruz pauses again. Making sure what they’re about to do is okay. She gives Josie one more chance to stop this and when instead she answers by lifting her hips, Cruz licks slowly from her center to her clit. Josie doesn’t even try to quiet the moan that tears from the back of her throat. Cruz whimpers into her, the taste of Josie’s want on her tongue.
Josie is melting above her, unsure of how to handle the fast and intense heat building in the base of her stomach. She needs to release some of the energy to make this last. She grabs Cruz’s shoulder, hard enough it might bruise, as she lets out a long and low, “Fuck Cruz. You feel so good.”
Hearing her name, her actual name spill from her lips is everything to Cruz, feeling it spread throughout her entire body. She picks up the speed and pressure, spreading Josie’s legs even further to make more room for her.
Words aren’t options for Josie anymore, only moans and gasps come from her. She knows it isn’t going to take much longer for her to come undone and it happens when she looks down and locks eyes with Cruz, who is watching every reaction her tongue is causing. It’s so fucking sexy all Josie can do is tilt her head back, strengthen her grasp on Cruz’s shoulder and ride out the hardest orgasm she’s ever had.
Cruz slows her mouth and once Josie’s legs have stopped shaking, she’s kissing the inside of her thighs, then up her stomach, and landing on her mouth, softly. Josie’s eyes are still closed and she’s trying to regain her breath, she’s absolutely spent.
“You okay?” Cruz asks, softly. Running her hands over Josie’s arms, basking in the closeness that this is.
“Mhmmmm.” Is all she can respond, leaning her head forward against the taller woman’s chest.
Once she gets her senses back, she leans up to kiss Cruz. Tasting herself on her lips. She tries to deepen it but Cruz stops her, stepping back. “It’s not that I don’t want this, because I really fucking do, but I don’t want to hurt your foot.”
It’s thoughtful, to say the least, following the sounds that were just escaping both of them when Cruz was fucking her.
Josie doesn’t push. Even though she wants to, she knows things will be awkward and messy with her limited mobility and she wants to be able to enjoy every second of what she plans to do to Cruz.
“Guess I owe you, then?” The running tally continuing to favor Cruz. Josie kisses her cheek.
“Guess so.” Cruz moves her head so she can connect their lips again, still soft, savoring.
After a few moments, Cruz helps Josie get down so she doesn’t hurt herself. Crutching towards the bathroom to clean herself up, Josie turns around with a smirk and says, “I don’t know if I ever want to talk again.”