Work Text:
Vash is 10 years old and it’s Christmas Eve.
At ten years old, Christmas is still magic. Vash might not believe everything he did when he was younger, but there’s something about Christmas Eve that’s different than any other night of the year. He’s not sure there will really be reindeer on their roof tonight, but it’s still special.
Christmas is a time for family. Rem is off work the whole week from Christmas Eve to New Years Day. It’s always nice because their mom doesn’t get a lot of time off work. Her job is important and Vash knows that it’s hard being a single mom. Their dad died before they were born and Rem has done everything she can to raise them right, but it’s still hard for her.
Christmas is also a time when Vash and Knives put aside all of their differences and never have to worry about fighting. Vash and Knives fight a lot. They’re brothers and they love each other more than anything, but they’re also ten year old boys. Vash likes it when he doesn’t have to worry about his brother not taking turns on the Gameboy or making fun of him for eating too much. In turn, Vash won’t hide his brother's favorite book or call him a nerd.
On Christmas, Vash gets to have time just for Knives. They can put up decorations and play games and watch movies. Vash loves his friends, but it’s different with his brother. They’re twins. They understand each other in ways that no one else does. Vash feels like sometimes he doesn’t even have to talk and Knives will know what he’s thinking. Time alone with Knives is special.
Vash and Knives are trouble when they’re fighting, but they’re an absolute menace when they’re working together. They’re good at driving their mother crazy. She can usually tell when they’re plotting something. Tonight she put them to bed at nine and told them not to leave they’re room until morning.
That’s why Vash and Knives are up at 11:30, hiding on the stairs to the living room.
“I can’t see anything,” Vash whispers.
“Shh,” Knives says, putting a finger to his lips.
They both peek through the bars of the railing into the living room. There’s no one there. The tree is lit up, still empty underneath. There’s no sign of Rem or anyone else.
“Aren’t we too old to still believe in Santa?” Vash asks.
“That’s why we have to find out for certain,” Knives says. “We have to catch Rem in the act.”
Vash nods. It’s what they agreed on a few weeks ago. They came up with a plan together to figure out this mystery once and for all.
“The cookies we put out are still there,” Vash says, pointing. Knives pushes his arm down.
“It’s not midnight yet,” Knives reminds him.
“Are we gonna have to wait that whole time?” Vash asks.
“Are you that impatient?” Knives asks, but it’s not mean. He’s smiling at Vash. Vash smiles back.
“I hear something,” Vash says and they crouch down.
Rem walks into the living room. She sits down on the couch and turns up the volume on the tv just a little. Still no updates, then. She’s been watching some Christmas movie since they started their stakeout. She hasn’t done anything suspicious yet.
“She’s gotta do something soon,” Vash says. “It’s almost midnight.”
“We just gotta keep waiting,” Knives tells him.
Vash sighs. He shifts his weight just a tiny bit and the stairs creak under them. Vash and Knives both freeze. Rem turns over to look at where they’re hiding.
“Do you think she can see us?” Vash asks.
“Boys, what are you doing?” Rem asks, getting up and walking over to them.
“I think she can see us,” Knives says.
The twins get up and hurry back upstairs. Rem walks over to the bottom of the stairs and watches as they scurry away.
“I better not catch you two down here again,” she calls after them. “If Santa sees you up, you won’t get any presents.”
“That was a bust,” Vash sighs once they’ve arrived safely in their room.
“Maybe next year,” Knives says, climbing in bed.
“It was fun, though,” Vash says, smiling as he gets in bed too.
“Yeah,” Knives agrees. “It was.”
“It’s almost midnight,” Vash says. “We should go to sleep. You know, just in case.”
“Good idea,” Knives says.
“Goodnight, Knives,” Vash says, closing his eyes.
“Goodnight, Vash,” Knives says from across the room.
Vash is 14 years old and it’s Christmas Eve.
This is their first Christmas without Rem and it’s even harder than Vash thought it was going to be. He and Knives are still getting used to being alone. A couple friends of their mother took them in. Brad and Luida are nice but it’s not the same.
The house is decorated for Chistrmas but it’s not their house and Vash has to learn to be okay with that. He had helped Luida put the tree up. Vash and Knives had kept some of their old ornaments. Vash puts one on the tree that has their baby handprints on either side of a snowflake.
It does look nice. Vash knows that he and his brother are lucky. They could have ended up in foster care. Worse, they could have ended up separated. Vash tries to count his blessings that he still has Knives. He doesn’t know what he would do without his brother.
Tonight he and Knives are squished together on the couch, watching an old Christmas movie. They don’t need to be pressed so closely together, but Vash likes the feeling of Knives’s body on his. It reminds him that, no matter what’s happened, he’s not alone.
“Don’t you two look cozy,” Luida says, standing in the entryway to the living room. She smiles at them. Luida thinks it’s sweet how close they are. Vash heard her and Brad arguing about it once. He thinks they’re too old for it, but Luida insists that they’ve been through a lot and need each other.
“It’s kind of cold,” Vash says, like that explains why Knives is practically in his lap.
“I can turn up the heat,” Luida offers.
“Thanks,” Vash says, smiling at her.
Once Luida has left the room, the smile slowly leaves his face. He sighs and leans into his brother.
“Why do you pretend to be happy all the time?” Knives asks.
“It’s easier,” Vash tells him. “People don’t have to worry about me.”
“What about you?” Knives asks. “Is it easier for you?”
“I dunno,” Vash admits. “I just kind of do it without thinking.”
“You shouldn’t have to,” Knives tells him.
Knives certainly doesn’t pretend to be happy for anyone. Vash is probably the only one who sees him smile. Well, genuinely smile. Sometimes Knives will smile when he’s being mean, but that doesn’t count. He’s only soft around Vash.
“Well, I’m happy right now,” Vash says. “Because I’m with you.”
Vash smiles and Knives blushes a little. Vash pulls his brother’s hand into his lap, and leans against his shoulder again. Knives relaxes into him.
“It’s weird without her,” Vash says quietly.
“I know,” Knives says. “I didn’t think it would be easy, but I really miss her.”
Vash likes when Knives talks about his feelings. Vash knows he’s the only one his brother will talk to so he always encourages it. Even so, it’s a little surprising to hear Knives being so honest. He must really be having trouble.
“At least we’re still together,” Vash says.
“Yeah,” Knives says. It sounds like the thought really does comfort him.
They stay up until the end of the movie before going to bed. They both head to Vash’s room. They have their own rooms now. They have for a while, but on Christmas they have to sleep in the same room. It’s a tradition of theirs. It’s a tight fit but they both squeeze onto Vash’s bed.
“I wish I had known last year was our last Christmas with her,” Knives mumbles.
“Well, we’re never gonna have a last Christmas,” Vash says confidently. “I promise.”
It’s a childish promise. There’s always a chance that they’ll end up apart somehow. Life isn’t a guarantee. But right now, that’s what they need. A promise that they’ll always be together.
“Yeah,” Knives says. “Thanks.”
Vash is 18 years old and it’s Christmas Eve.
This is their last Christmas before Vash and Knives both go off to college. It’s strange, being an adult but not quite yet. Vash could go out and enlist in the military if he wanted to but he still has to be home by midnight.
Vash and Knives are both excited about college. They applied to all the same schools. Whatever happens next, they’ll be together.
Vash and Knives are always together. Vash knows their peers think it’s a little weird but he doesn’t care. He loves his brother. Why shouldn’t they spend time together? It’s not their classmates’ place to judge.
He and Knives are helping finish preparations for dinner tomorrow. Vash had helped Luida prepare Christmas dinner, but he enlisted Knives’s help for dessert. Vash insisted that they would have to be feeding themselves next year so they need to be more involved in cooking at their house. Luida had eagerly agreed.
They’re making a pecan pie. Well, a more accurate description would be they’re trying to make a pecan pie. Vash had made the dough earlier and left it to chill. Now they’re trying to get it into the pie dish and having some trouble with it.
“You’re getting flour everywhere,” Knives says.
“I don’t want the crust to stick,” Vash insists, rolling it with a rolling pin.
“You’re not getting it thin enough,” Knives says, grabbing the rolling pin from him. “Like this.”
Knives rolls out the dough into a thin circle and they both manage to press it into the pie dish. It’s not beautiful but it’ll taste the same. Knives is right that Vash got flour everywhere, though. Vash takes a floury finger and wipes it on Knives’s nose.
“Hey,” Knives says, indignantly.
He takes his own similarly floured finger and rubs it against his brother’s cheek. Vash laughs. In retaliation he grabs Knives’s face between his floury hands. Knives grabs Vash’s hands with his own like he’s going to pull them off his face but doesn’t. Vash leans in and rubs their noses together, getting his covered in flour in the process.
“Do you two need any help?”
Vash and Knives quickly break apart. Vash turns to look at Brad who’s standing at the edge of the kitchen. His tone is casual, but he’s got a suspicious look on his face.
“We’re fine,” Vash says cheerfully.
“Well Luida and I are going to bed,” Brad tells him.
“We’ll be quiet,” Vash promises.
“Just don’t burn the house down,” Brad says as he turns to walk back upstairs.
“Okay,” Vash says, focusing on the pie again. “Now we need to make the filling.”
They both pore over the recipe book and get all the ingredients together in a bowl. Vash stirs it while Knives starts putting their dirty measuring cups in the sink. When it seems sufficiently mixed, Vash pulls out the spoon and brings it to his mouth to taste it.
“Wow,” Vash says. “It’s pretty good.”
“I don’t know if I believe you,” Knives says.
“Try it then,” Vash says, extending the spoon towards his brother. Knives leans forward and slides it into his mouth. Vash tries not to think that that’s where his own lips were moments before.
“You’re right,” Knives says. “It’s good.”
Vash takes the bowl and dumps the filling in their crust. He uses the spoon to get every last bit into the pie dish.
“This was one of Rem’s recipes,” Vash tells Knives. He can feel his brother’s gaze on him. “She made it a lot growing up.”
“It did taste familiar,” Knives says.
“You’ve got some filling on your chin,” Vash tells his brother. “Let me get it.”
Vash reaches over and rubs the drop of pie filling off his brother’s face. He lets his hand rest there after, gently cupping Knives’s cheek. He leans just the tiniest bit closer.
“Thanks,” Knives says. He leans in just a fraction of an inch too.
They both lean forward, getting slowly closer. Their mouths get closer and closer together until their lips are practically touching. They stay like that, almost kissing, for a moment.
Vash pulls back.
“I should get this in the oven,” Vash says.
“Good idea,” Knives agrees.
They do a lot of almost kissing. They know they both have feelings for each other that aren’t strictly brotherly. They’re standing just at the edge of something and neither of them are ready to move. But that’s fine. They’re just almost kissing. Almost kissing is safe.
Once the pie is done and cooling, Vash and Knives head to bed. They both go to Vash’s room. It’s tradition to sleep together the night before Christmas. Traditions are important. Sleeping in the same bed isn’t as cute now that they aren’t kids anymore so they’ll make sure they’re up before Brad and Luida so they don’t find out.
“Growing up is weird,” Knives says, resting his head on Vash’s chest. They’re much bigger now than when they were kids and it’s a much tighter fit.
“We’ll be in college next year,” Vash adds. “We’re practically adults.”
“But we’re still together,” Knives says.
“We’ll always be together,” Vash says. “I promised.”
“You did,” Knives says and Vash can hear the smile in his voice. “For now, let's go to bed.”
“Alright,” Vash yawns. “Goodnight.”
Vash is 22 years old and it’s Christmas Eve.
Vash and Knives are home for Christmas and they’re not talking to each other right now. They’re in their senior year of college and it’s not going quite like they expected. They’ve finally learned the huge difference between kissing and almost kissing.
There are plenty of ways that college has been good for them. They’re both learning and maturing. They’re figuring out who they are as adults. It’s an important part of growing up.
There are also plenty of ways the college hasn’t been good for them. They took their mild codependence to an extreme. They spent all their time together in their dorm. Knives didn’t want to talk to anyone else. Vash did sometimes but not enough to fight him on it.
In their seclusion from the outside world, their almost kissing moved to kissing then to more than kissing. It was fun at first. Exploring their relationship was exciting. They definitely did a lot of exploring. They got to be each other’s first everything. They really were in love. They were happy together.
Then they weren’t.
It didn’t happen right away. It’s not like they woke up one day and realized they were miserable. No, it happened over time. They spent years in pleasant seclusion. Then the seclusion stopped feeling pleasant.
Vash has a few friends. Not a ton, but enough. Having to keep his relationship with Knives a secret from them started wearing on him. They hadn’t wanted to deal with the outside world before, but now Vash feels like he can’t.
Vash doesn’t know where their relationship can go from here. It’s not like they can ever tell anyone about it. They’ll have to be a secret forever. It’s making them both miserable. Their relationship has an expiration date and Vash thinks they’ve finally hit it.
The last few weeks of school before they left for break were awful. They were always fighting. Vash did everything he could to get away from their dorm, but he was stressed around his friends because he couldn’t tell them why he was upset.
So now they’re home and they aren’t talking. Brad and Luida can definitely tell something is wrong. Luida corners Vash in the kitchen that night.
“What happened with you and Knives?” Luida asks. “Why are you two fighting?”
“We’re not fighting,” Vash says, though it’s a very obvious lie.
“I’m not blind,” Luida tells him. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Vash says, trying to keep his voice normal.
“Is it about a girl?” Luida asks.
Vash almost laughs. It wouldn’t have helped the situation at all so he doesn’t, but it’s his first reaction. God, it would be so much easier if it were about a girl. That would be temporary. They’d be mad for a few months but then the girl would be gone and they’d go back to being best friends, back to being brothers.
But it’s not that easy.
“It’s not about a girl,” Vash tells her. It’s the most honest he’s been tonight.
“Well,” Luida says. “Whatever it is, it won’t last. You two are brothers. You’re stuck with each other forever.”
Vash tries to smile wishing that wasn’t the problem.
After Brad and Luida go to bed, Vash and Knives are left alone in the living room. It’s incredibly awkward. Suddenly their childhood home feels suffocating.
“I talked to resident life,” Vash says, breaking the silence. “I’m moving to a new dorm in the spring.”
There’s a pause. Vash has been sitting on this news for days. He’s not sure what his brother is going to say so he waited as long as he could. Of course, he couldn’t wait forever.
“Oh,” Knives says simply.
“I’ll move all my things when we go back in January,” Vash tells him.
“If you think that’s best,” Knives says, squaring his jaw and not looking at his brother. Vash knows Knives well enough to hear the anger bubbling just below the surface. Unfortunately it’s a problem that Vash just can’t fix.
“I’m going to go to bed,” Vash says, getting up. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Goodnight,” Knives says tersely.
Vash goes up to his room. This is the first Christmas Eve he’s ever slept alone. Knives has always been a constant in his life. It hurts not to have him anymore.
Maybe things will figure themselves out. Maybe this won’t last forever. Vash hopes so at least. For now, all he can do is give it time.
Vash is 26 years old and it’s Christmas Eve.
Vash is back home for Christmas for the first time since he graduated. He’s done a lot of traveling in the past four years. He’s lived all over. Now he’s finally ready to come back home.
Knives never left. He got his own place but stayed in July. He still visits Brad and Luida, especially on holidays. He had always kept them at a bit of a distance, but he did grow to care about them over the years. Besides, Knives isn’t a big fan of change.
This is the first time Vash and Knives have seen each other face to face in a while. Time helped. Vash feels like he can look at his brother and see the years of love they shared, not just the months of heartbreak. It’s still a little awkward, but they deal with it.
Brad and Luida are definitely happy to see him. He’s called and texted, but he hasn’t seen them in person for a while either. Luida hugs him as soon as he gets in the door. She keeps saying how happy she is that they’re all together again.
Eventually, Brad and Luida go up to bed. Brad tells him that he and Luida are old people now and Vash laughs even if the idea makes him a little sad.
“Your bedrooms are all made up,” Luida says. “We’ll see you in the morning.”
“Don’t stay up too late,” Brad says as they both head up the stairs. “If Santa sees you up, he won’t bring you any presents.”
Vash and Knives sit together for a while. There’s a Christmas movie on the tv. It’s one they’ve seen a million times but that’s the point. Traditions are important at Christmas.
“Are we… okay?” Vash asks, during a commercial break. Knives looks over at him. He considers the question.
“I’m not sure,” Knives says.
“I’d like us to be,” Vash says. “I’ve missed you.”
It’s probably the most honest he’s been with his brother in four years. Knives stares back at him and something softens in his brother’s face.
“Me too,” Knives says.
“So what do we want to be moving forward?” Vash asks. “Because I think normal brothers has been off the table for a while.”
Knives laughs and it’s so refreshing.
“I don’t know,” Knives admits. “But I want it to be together.”
“I want to try again,” Vash says. He thought about it the entire three hour drive here. He’s had plenty of failed relationships in his life, but this is the one he keeps coming back to. There’s still something there. He loves his brother and he can’t deny it.
“Are you sure?” Knives says. He tries to make it sound stern and serious, but Vash can hear the fear in his voice. He’s scared of getting hurt again.
“Yeah,” Vash says. “We’re adults now. We can figure it out, for real this time.”
“I think,” Knives says slowly. “I’d like that.”
Then Knives smiles at him. Vash had missed his brother’s smile. He leans forward and so does Knives. They both hover there with their mouths inches apart, stuck in a state of almost kissing. They have to commit. Are they really going to cross this line? Are they really ready to try again?
Vash surges forward those last couple of inches to bring their lips together.
It’s nice to kiss his brother again. It’s not hurried or frenzied or desperate. There’s passion but the slow burning kind. It’s the love he’s felt for his brother since they were kids. After a few minutes, they break apart again.
“Do you wanna sleep in my room tonight?” Vash asks.
Knives’s cheeks go pink and Vash realizes the implication of what he’s just asked.
“No, I didn’t mean…” Vash says, trying to backpedal. “We shouldn’t... I mean, not tonight. Maybe again someday. I just meant…”
Vash fumbles for a moment.
“It’s Christmas Eve,” Vash says finally. “It’s been our tradition to sleep in the same room. We could do that again. If you want.”
Knives smiles at him.
“I’d like that,” Knives says.
Vash is 30 years old and it’s Christmas Eve.
Vash and Knives are throwing a holiday party. More accurately, Vash is throwing a holiday party and Knives is sulking in the background. It’s their first Christmas in their new house. They only moved in a few weeks ago. Vash had bargained that if they couldn’t have a housewarming party, Knives had to let him through a holiday party instead. Knives had reluctantly agreed.
Vash has spent all morning decorating. Knives is helping but doesn’t look very happy about it. Together, they get the house looking very festive. By the end, Knives is smiling even if he only does it when he thinks his brother isn’t looking.
Vash has still managed to keep some of his friends. They don’t know every detail of his personal life, but they don’t have to. They like him and still give him his space. Vash considers himself pretty lucky.
Knives may not have other friends per se but he has acquaintances and coworkers that he can hold polite conversations with. Vash thinks it’s an accomplishment. Vash told Knives once that he was proud of him for it and Knives refused to kiss him for the rest of the night.
The party is fun. It’s not huge but a few of Vash’s friends come over. He gets to show off their new house. If any of them think it’s weird that he bought a house with his brother, they don’t mention it. They all seem happy for him. And they treat Knives like a dog that might bite them if they make any sudden movements, which is probably the best for everyone.
“I’m gonna get another drink,” Vash says, getting up and walking towards the kitchen. Knives stops him in the entryway to the living room.
“Can you throw this out?” Knives asks, handing him a bottle.
“Yeah, no problem,” Vash says, taking it.
“Ooh,” Milly says loudly. They both turn to face her.
“What?” Vash asks curiously.
Milly points above their heads. Vash looks up to see a sprig of mistletoe. Knives’s face goes very red.
“You know what that means,” Meryl says.
“Are you really going to make him kiss his brother?” Roberto snorts.
“It’s the rules,” Milly insists.
“You do love rules,” Vash tells Knives. He leans over and brushes his lips against his brother’s cheek.
Wolfwood whistles loudly from across the room. Knives’s face goes even redder. He huffs and storms out of the room. Vash laughs and shakes his head as he watches his brother stomp off.
“I’m sorry,” Wolfwood calls after him. “It was just a joke.”
“He’s fine,” Vash assures him. “He just needs to cool off.”
Knives doesn’t return for the rest of the party. It’s fine. It was starting to wind down anyway. Most of them have other holiday plans. Once they’ve all left, Vash goes to find Knives. He’s waiting in their room.
“So this is where you were hiding?” Vash asks, leaning in the doorway.
“I wasn’t hiding,” Knives grumbles.
“Are you still upset?” Vash asks.
“I’m not upset,” Knives says. Then, when it’s clear Vash doesn’t believe him, “Your friends don’t like me.”
“Of course they like you,” Vash says. His friends are cautious around his brother but they don’t dislike him.
“I’m sure,” Knives scoffs.
“They were just teasing,” Vash insists. “That's what you do with someone you like.”
“So Wolfwood is just a five year old boy pulling on my pigtail?” Knives asks.
“Unfortunately,” Vash laughs. “Yeah.”
Knives doesn’t look completely convinced but his mood does improve.
“Come on,” Vash says. “I think there’s some champagne left.”
Knives gets up and Vash drags him out of their room towards the kitchen. Halfway there, Vash stops. He turns to face his brother, still holding Knives’s hand.
“Thank you,” Vash says. “I know social situations aren’t always easy for you.”
Knives blushes and looks away.
“It’s what you wanted,” Knives mumbles.
“And that’s why I’m thanking you,” Vash says. Knives looks up at him.
“You’re welcome,” Knives says, smiling.
Vash glances above both of their heads. Knives looks up too to find that they’re standing under the mistletoe again. He looks back down at his brother, frowning.
“You tricked me,” Knives says, but there’s no anger to it.
“You caught me,” Vash says. “Now what are you gonna do with me?”
Knives shakes his head then leans in to kiss him.
They have a pretty uneventful night. They clean up from the party then pour some champagne and watch a movie. It’s one of their favorites. Tomorrow they’ll go up to see Brad and Luida. There will be plenty of food and presents. Tonight, though, they go to bed.
It’s been a long few years. It’s been a long 30 years to be honest. Things haven’t come easy for Vash and Knives. Sometimes it’s hard to see the big picture when you’re stuck in the middle of it but Vash and Knives have made it to the other side. Not that they won’t have more troubles in the future. They know their lives are more difficult together. They also know it’s worth it.
So Vash and Knives go to sleep, together, in their bed in their room in their house. It’s taken a while, but Vash is so happy with where they are. He wouldn’t trade it for anything. Eventually they both drift off to sleep.
Vash wakes up the next day to a chill in the air. Luckily their bed is nice and warm. He snuggles deeper under the blankets. He looks over at where his brother is still sleeping. As if Knives can feel him staring, he opens his eyes.
“Morning,” Vash says cheerily.
“Morning,” Knives mumbles, rubbing at his eye.
“It’s been a good year,” Vash sighs. “Hasn’t it?”
“Yeah,” Knives says, smiling. “It has.”
Vash can’t believe how much he loves his brother and how lucky he is to have Knives in his life. They’ve both put in the work, but it’s been worth it. Now they get to enjoy the fruits of their labor. Vash leans over and kisses his brother.
“Merry Christmas, Knives,” Vash says.
“Merry Christmas, Vash,” Knives say.
Vash is 30 years old and it’s finally Christmas Day.