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The night was clear and calm. In complete contrast with his chest, that grew nebulous and rebellious by the minute.
The train was quiet as its occupants let themselves rest lulled by their hopes and dreams, incopable of seeing the mask behind the man.
Elijah was crestfallen. His brain numb of its synapses and his heart long hollow.
The solitude and silence only closed in the train metal walls around him.
He did not want to see anyone, nor be alone either, tho. He wasn’t sure which was worse: watching his family celebrating the new year approaching, laughing despite the terrible scene just days prior, or the quietness of strangers unaware of his hurting, of his future crushed before his eyes.
Sighing heavily he fished from his jacket pocket a folded piece of paper.
His fingers trembling as he unfolded it in the low light offered by the moon, as the train followed his destiny.
The kind brown eyes stared back, immobile, incapable of showing anything but affection.
The slight smile he’d loved so much - and still does, for it was too soon to simply forget it - was a sign of mockery now. How could you even consider the possibility of she saying yes? How had he missed the signs?
The long neck and perfect sculptured face only made Elijah want to throw the photograph away and with it the feelings he harbored for her.
He had shown her his secrets, delivered his heart, bruised, beaten black and blue, she’d dropped it. Glass shattered on the white cloth, dripping blood in its wake.
///
The decorations shone to their maximum. Mistletoes strategically placed gave, every now and then, chance to see one of the couples present kissing swiftly. Ornaments made the Mikaelson manor even more beautiful, garlands hand made by Caroline impressed the invitees and stockings adorned the fireplace waiting for their owners to come proclaim their contents.
Said blonde smiled brightly when her oldest brother in law closed the velvety ring box.
“Oh My God!” She neared bounced on her feet, although still aware of her ever growing baby bump.
Elijah smiled down at her “do you think she’s going to appreciate it?” He questioned.
Caroline smiled from ear to ear “she’s going to be thrilled! Katherine trully loves you, Elijah,”
His first idea was to invite Caroline to come purchase the ring with him, no one better to help you choose than your lover’s best friend, right? Albeit, at the last minute he shied away from the idea, choosing to adjust his mother ring instead.
Katherine had a difficult past. Coming from Bulgaria at a young age, she and her twin, as soon as they set foot in America, were stroke by tragedy, when their parents died, leaving them alone in this world, except for their tutors. Giusepe and Lilian Salvatore.
Both parents of Stefan and Damon weren’t much loving, nor with their own, neither with the girls. Hence his future fiancée not feeling belonging to a real family in a long and torturing time. And he was the one who wanted to assure his Katerina that she would be his family. From now on. Always and forever.
So, with his mom’s ring in his pocket, he welcomed family and friends as they gathered around the house for Christmas dinner.
///
“And you think he’s going to propose?” Elena asked her sister as both were tapping the finishing touches in their make up.
Katherine stopped on her tracks, eyes fixiated on the mirror ahead, gazing at her twin through the reflection.
“Why’s that face, Kath?”
Elena also stopped applying her makeup, approaching her sister, downing herself on the bench in front of the vanity mirror, their shoulders bumping.
“Hey,” she tried.
‘I don’t think I’m ready,” she confessed
Elena shook her head “and where’s that idea coming from anyway? You practically live together already,”
“It’s an enormous commitment,” Katherine stated matter of factly
Elena only rolled her eyes “duh, and isn’t that exactly how people end up after a long term relationship? Married?”
“Yes, but-“
Elena rolled her eyes at her copy and got up going back to her previous task.
“Katherine, you’re going to be fine!” She looked back but her sister wasn’t staring.
“Elijah loves you, it’s only natural he’s planing on doing it,”
And she knew as much.
They had talked about it. Kind of.
Elijah was a family man.
She’d known jt from the very beginning.
They had bonded over the years, while his siblings and the Salvatore’s became friends alas she and Elena.
Elijah was the oldest Mikaelson. Always taking care of his brothers and sister, being there for them, holding his family together through thick and thin.
And then she came into his life and he did the same to her.
Showed her true love, held her, walked her through the learning process of loving someone…
Or so she thought.
She did love him. She was only… broken. Incapable to grasp the possibility of building a family, of being part of something that wasn’t fragmented.
Elijah’s touch was Midas’ like, everything turned into gold wherever he went. Their friends appreciated his compassion as well as his humbleness, his loyalty and dignity. He was a true gentleman, a good friend, fervent lover, and Katherine was sure he would be an amazing uncle/ godfather, and when the time came, he would be an incredible dad, treasuring an amazing family.
Only not with her.
She liked things the way they were now. Katherine wasn’t a fan of changes and thought better for them to stay together, although as it is now.
He, on the other hand, couldn’t wait for her to be his wife.
He was nervous. Has been for the past weeks. This night would be the one where his life would change for the better . He would propose to the woman he loved for years now, and if everything went according to plan, they would be married already around this time, next year.
“Hello, handsome,” Katherine greeted as she approached her boyfriend in the parlor.
Elijah took a moment to admire her before taking her hand in his, kissing the back of it. Act he usually did when they were on a more formal occasion, but she appreciated it nonetheless.
“You look ravishing, as always, my Katerina,” he complimented admiring her deep red dress and lips. Her nails were painted a nude color, thing he commented on because it wasn’t usual for her. Did she know what were his plans for the evening? Only Klaus and Caroline knew so far, less people knew, less chance of screwing the surprise.
“Oh,” she casually analyzed her nail polish, the other hand on her waist “just went for a change, I guess,”
Nodding, Elijah smiled and softly kissed her lips, whispering sweet nothings in her ear and kissing just below it before parting
“I love you, Katerina,” came his confession, eyes shining. He could go down on one knee right then and there, but some people were yet to arrive and he wanted everyone to witness this special moment.
Catching the different glint in her lover’s eyes, Katherine tilded her head in questioning, but chose to respond with a chase kiss instead, her hands coming to rest on Elijah’s upper chest.
Little did they know it would be their last kiss in a while.
///
Christmas songs chimed in the background, lights twinkling while animated chatter filled the Mikaelson manor with the holiday sprit, it was a happy moment in the lives of all involved and Elijah contemplated his love while she talked with her best friend, Caroline, her twin beside them trying to hear the baby inside the ever growing baby bump his sister-in-law would carry around ‘till February, Hope would be born a spring baby, just like her mother, apparently.
He couldn’t help but think that a couple years from now it would be him and Katherine going through something similar.
Smiling over his wishful thinking, he caught his sister calling everyone to enjoy dinner.
After that, he, Katherine, as well as the Salvatore’s, miss Bennet, and his family were gathered around the grand room. Some standing by the window, Caroline and his brother sharing whispers in the couch beside his sister and Stefan.
Katerina stood lonesome by the giant tree in the corner of the room. The fireplace offered a hue that made her ethereal, an angel set ablaze within his darkest hour.
He idolized her, loving her so profoundly it crushed every turbulence away. With that in mind, he crossed the room calmly but purposefully, stopping beside her.
“Katerina,”
The smile she offered him made him melt all over, she was beautiful.
The man’s hand touched hers, bringing it to his lips, the gesture conducted a smile to appear in the woman’s face.
“What was that for?” She questioned. Elijah has always been affectionate, gentle, tender even, but tonight he seemed to exaggerate. It felt like he wanted to say something but was holding back.
Shrugging dismissively he shook his brown-haired head.
“You should know that from the moment I saw you, I knew I had to have you,” he took a deep breath and Katherine kept smiling at him, her hand interlaced in his.
“I’ve never thought I’d find love, less so in my early years of life but you were there, beautiful, outgoing, fearless,” his eyes shone as he recalled their early days “the complete opposite of myself, but precisely what I needed…”
It was then Katherine realized the chatter in the room had died down, side glancing she noticed her friends and Elena watching them expectantly. Rebekah even had a champagne bottle in hand.
Katherine knew very well where this was going.
“Katerina-“
“I need for you to stop right there,” her eyes locking with his “please…”
Elijah nodded although confused.
Her hand’s dismantled themselves from his grip, the brown pools shining with bright water crystals, whose reflected Elijah’s hurt. Before she proffered anything, he already knew her answer.
It hurt.
It hurt her deeply injuring him in such a way. But she could not, for the life of her, commit to marriage.
She would’ve made such a lovely bride, an alluring wife. What a shame she was fucked in the head.
“Katerina…” his plea crushed her a little more and the waterfall created itself smearing her makeup. Elijah’s orbs begged for her not to do this.
Everything happened so fast, at the same time it seemed to take forever.
She dropped his hand.
No one celebrated no more. An unsettling stillness hung in the air as the clock stroke twelve.
Twirling on her heels, Katherine left him standing, depraved from her warmth, the front door opening and closing, a sound that would hunt him for years from now.
///
The Fourth of July came and went quickly for everybody but Elijah.
Katherine had asked for Elena to gather her things at his condo and when he tried to talk to Elena, convince her to convince her sister to at least, talk to him - she owes me that much, I’ve dedicated years of my life, my heart and soul and she simply turned me down without any explanation whatsoever? I deserve to know why! - and the younger twin agreed, but there’s nothing in heaven or hell to bend her sister’s will.
That was how it ended.
Elijah couldn’t conceive his life nowadays. A year ago he was cheering, drinking, spending the day in bed making love to the woman he thought he would’ve spent the rest of his life with.
Now everything had been shattered, fireworks that faded right before his eyes, transforming themselves in lightning, scaring away his hopes and dreams.
///
November flushed her cheeks as the snow constantly fell at her backyard.
Katherine breathed deeply, the cold air engulfing her insides, her skin prickling with goosebumps as she closed her eyelids.
Fall had always been exciting. It was her favorite season, after all.
She closed the flannel tighter remembering easier times, when that same back porch witnessed languid kisses, sweet promises, adoring glances and such a deep, heartfelt feeling she thought she would say ‘yes’ when the time came, instead she’d lacked words, her courage down the drain, melting just like this white sea would a couple months from now.
Being with him wasn’t encloustrating, being inside her head otherwise…
She felt like she could burn from the coldness of not touching him no more.
Her head spinning with so many conclusions, so many convictions that served her nothing but increasing her anxiety.
Could’ve been this, that made her say nothing? Made her walk away?
So many tears and years denying she had a problem, champagne problems they would say…
Katherine was broken.
Damaged.
But Elijah had seen something inside her eyes. He had burnt himself inside the hellfire that was her mind.
Forcefully wiping her tears away, she took a deep breath. There wasn’t an easy way out of this. In fact, she’d already copped out when she left the manor at Christmas Eve, and then again when she had her sister grab her things at his house, instead of growing herself a nerve and doing it by hererlf.
But it would’ve been too hard… seeing the pain inside his chocolate pools, knowing she had been the one who caused it.
And even if she ran to him right now, they would never be the same.
She’d bet her life that Rebekah said she was fucked in the head, that she was an egoistical bitch, and that her brother was better off.
Katherine had broken them up.
She was to blame.
But someone also was to blame for her being like this. Her disability for commitment wasn’t born with her, one could call it trauma, genetics… somehow she turned out this way.
///
December entered the calendar and slowly turned itself into Christmas lights, peppermint candies, Santa hats and tall, tall Virginia Pines.
Like a problememwtic child, it screamed inside Elijah’s head: a year since..
Shaking his head he gathered his things and left for the living room, where his family talked loudly, all probably spoiling Hope rotten.
Caroline and Klaus were so, so lucky. Not only because their daughter was healthy, gracious, perfect, but also ‘cause they had reached this far.
It made Elijah wishful thinking on how would’ve beens, on how she was feeling now…
A year had passed by and it still hurt. Less so than it did before, but the sting was there, knocking on the walls of his heart, screaming, begging for him to let go, to try once more calling her, to ask Elena again, to ask Caroline how she was in Japan, and f she would be back for New Years' Eve.
Yes, she couldn’t’ve left the message clearer. She desired to be, to exist as far away as geographically possible from him, from his stupidi ring, from his stupid habit of keeping a picture of her in his wallet.
He wished he could deem it champagne problems, and just like the bubbles when you swallowed ‘em, Elijah wished she would disappear from his mind.
Watching his family brought some comfort though, their smiles, the hugs they shared, the cheers as Hope distracted all of them with her toddler mannerisms… it was the bits of magic his life lacked nowadays.
She backing out from his proposition he could, painfully understand. After all, he had met Katerina when she was pretending to be strong, but feeling the complete opposite. And he saw it.
He saw her.
Not the tough girl act, not the barriers she’d built around herself.
Elijah had seen her for the sensitive person she was, the one who was never introduced to real care, the one who was loyal, sexy, funny, sassy, talented…
Back then Katherine lived in a world where only her mind existed, a castle whose walls were so high, one could never enter and she wouldn’t be able to leave.
And he knew she knew he had put it down.
Only for her, years later, put it back up as soon as he proposed.
He would like to understand, fully what was on her mind. But he wasn’t a masochist, he wouldn’t go after her just to receive radio silence. If she didn’t want to marry him, he couldn’t force her to.
Happiness wasn’t something he felt much these days, but he held onto his pride, or at least the bit that was still there.
///
Next December was born in a colder than usual weather, still, Elijah held Gia’s hand tighter as he knocked at the Salvatore house’s front door.
Stefan welcomed them, while the others gathered around the living area. It wasn’t Christmas yet, but the place was decorated to the nines. The tree in the far corner near the fireplace ablaze, many gift boxes that he was quite sure had his niece name on them, after all, the friends liked to spoil the younger Mikaelson.
“Elijah, Gia, hi!” Elena greeted them animatedly, side hugging her ex-in-law and greeting Gia with a proper hug.
Family and friends were acquainted with his girlfriend of six months now, Gia Mohan. a lawyer he had worked with a couple years back and had reencountered last January.
She was funny, outspoken, polite, beautiful, a great professional and Elijah could say he felt happy again, after a long time.
Gia was just making small talk with Elena about her engagement ring - Damon had proposed just a month ago -, when they heard yet another knock at the door.
He figured they were all here already and technically they were, so imagine his surprise when at turning around, he caught Elena letting out a yelp that caught everyone’s attention and hugging her twin sister by the door.
“Oh my God! You came!”
And for Elijah it was like time had stopped.