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English
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2024-12-12
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i know, i know, i know (like a wave that crashed and melted on the shore)

Summary:

Struggling to deal with Lestat's abduction, Louis reluctantly seeks out the only person on Night Island who truly understands.

Work Text:

EXT - NIGHT ISLAND. CLIFFTOP. NIGHT.

ARMAND stands at the very edge of the cliff, toes poking over the water, wind tossing his hair to and fro. He stands with his eyes closed, breathing gently, trying with all his might to reach out into the void, until a FOOTSTEP startles him.

LOUIS

Thought you'd be out here. You never could get away from the sea.

LOUIS makes his way through the brush, picking carefully onto the clifftop. He and Armand regard each other in awkward silence, not sure who should speak first. Looking at each other is difficult, but the thought of confronting the empty horizon is even worse.

ARMAND

You look...you look. Well.

LOUIS

Yeah?

He takes out a CIGARETTE, lighting it himself without asking Armand for a flame. Armand watches him do it; Louis smiles when he notices Armand looking.

LOUIS

You still eat these things?

ARMAND

That was a...phase. The nineties were a difficult time for everyone.

LOUIS

For all those poor fucking rats, yeah.

(he takes a puff, blows the smoke over the water)

Daniel says you still break into his stash sometimes, it drives him crazy.

(gestures back towards the main house)

He's having a ball in there, by the way. Harassing all of the ancient, asking his questions, and they can't dropkick him because then he won't be able to explain how the shiny new gadgets work. I think Khayman's in love. You oughta watch your turf, Maitre.

Armand visibly stiffens at the name. Louis smirks, bitter.

ARMAND

We are--trying to operate without those sorts of labels. Daniel prefers to keep an open mind about these things.

LOUIS

Yeah? And that don't bother you? Looks like some shit's changed since the forties.

ARMAND

(it does bother him, but he knows better than to push, now)

Yes, I suppose so.

Louis looks out over the ocean, the vast dark sprawl of it. Suddenly the cigarette in his hand flares, a sharp, panicked spurt as he stubs it out under his boot. He clenches his fists at his sides, trying to stay calm.

LOUIS

I can't. I can't feel him, Arun. He's gone. Lestat's gone.

Armand bites his lip at the name.

LOUIS

I try and try and I. I can't. There's a void.

ARMAND

Akasha's psychic shielding is strong, befitting a vampire of her age. And--and you have convinced yourself that he was gone, before.

LOUIS

(laughs)

Yeah, that seems to be going around. Speaking of, how's your, uh...

ARMAND

My "daddy vampire?"

A nuclear bomb's worth of meaning, sealed tight in those words. Louis lets out a breath, turns to face Armand solidly.

LOUIS

Yeah. How'd the reunion go?

ARMAND

Fine. It was--fine. He has missed me, and I him. He held me again, and I felt safer than I had in almost five hundred years. Then we went inside and he...he cannot look at me for more than a few seconds. He spent most of his time glaring at Santino, I think he found that easier. I do not think he knows what to do with me, with what I have become. I think he looks at me and sees Amadeo's drained corpse.

LOUIS

And you? What do you see?

ARMAND

I see my father, my lover, my murderer and my maker. I see the man who saved my life, gave me the tools to become what I am today. I see the man who knew where I was all those years, who had a choice between risking himself to bring me home and focusing on his task, on her, on the future of our people. He chose.

LOUIS

Wonder what that's like. And Santino? How does that feel?

ARMAND

...Confusing. Even his rats seem apologetic, somehow. Somber, fragile. Not as frightening as they used to be.

LOUIS

Hmmm. But you are frightened, aren't you, Aru--Armand. I can tell. Is it dying for good, that scares you? Is it losing him?

ARMAND

Is there a difference?

LOUIS

You fucking hate him.

ARMAND

I do. So do you.

LOUIS

Got that right. Same way I hate you. Like I want to rip your throat out, like I think you'd let me. Like I ain't gonna give you the satisfaction. Hating you, hating him, that's easy, because nothing ever really touches you fuckers unless you let it. Not until--

He shuts off. It hangs over them for a second, the impossible, the unimaginable. The glimpse of a world where Lestat de Lioncourt is gone, truly gone, and they are somehow expected to live with it.

LOUIS

Do you think she's hurting him?

ARMAND

She cares for him deeply.

LOUIS

You care for me. Lestat cares for me. And you two still--and she's worse, somehow. You heard what Maharet was saying in there. Our Queen ain't too concerned with shit like yes or no. If she did, if she did anything, he wouldn't say it. You know he wouldn't.

ARMAND

I'd still know. The moment I saw him, I'd know.

LOUIS

If we ever see him again. And then what?

(laughs)

Fuck, what do I care. He forced himself on me, remember? The night he dropped me, he stole my fucking blood. He deserves whatever the fuck she gives him, I hope she's having fun. Maybe she can whip him into shape, maybe--

He shivers, overcome, terrified. Armand takes a few steps closer, hesitant, wrestling with his instinct to comfort.

ARMAND

Louis--

LOUIS

I haven't forgiven him. Or you, in case you were wondering. I don't know if I ever will. I don't know if I even wanna try. For me, I think maybe I could forgive you two for what you did to me, someday, I'm fucked up like that. But what you did to her, Claudia. Both of you, again and again.

ARMAND

I know.

LOUIS

You've said that before, and you didn't know what you were talking about. You still don't. Fuck, maybe I don't, neither. I still hate him, I still hate you, but...I think of him. I think of him, out there, saying something to piss her off the way he does, and she--and I can't breathe. You get it, don't you?

ARMAND

I try not to think about it.

(beat)

I keep failing.

LOUIS

And if it was you, that she'd grabbed, I think. I think it'd feel the same. I'd tell myself I'd be better off without you, and I'd be right, but I still. Still.

(he scrubs his hands over his face)

All those years. With you, with him. I can't cut that out. I've tried, I've tried so fucking hard, I can't. I let you go, but I can't get out the marks, I can't--

His shoulders shake, breath coming too fast. Armand stands, helpless, paralyzed by the weight of history crashing down on them both. He holds out a hand.

ARMAND

...May I?

LOUIS

Sure. Fucking whatever. It's the least you can do for me.

Armand rests a hand on Louis's shoulder. He takes slow, deep breaths, and Louis mirrors him almost without seeming to realize what he's doing.

ARMAND

He's a survivor, Louis. You know he is. Too stubborn to kill, more's the pity. We will get him back. And if we do not--we won't have to worry about that, or anything else, for much longer afterwards.

LOUIS

Cheery as ever, Armand. You know I'll still put up a fight, no matter what happens.

ARMAND

I know. And so will I.

LOUIS

Yeah?

ARMAND

I'm here, am I not? And I, I do not think I am ready for this to end. Not for me, not for any of us. I am...glad, you seem to feel that way, now.

LOUS

Sure. You really believe we'll get him back?

ARMAND

I have to. I don't have a choice. Neither of us do.

LOUIS

(sounding very old and very tired)

We don't, do we? Tangled up at the fucking roots, the three of us. Like your stupid tree. I burned that, by the way. Stood in the room while it went up and I felt warm for the first time since Daniel gave me that fucking script. I felt warm, and then I cried like a little kid. I cried over you and I'm worried about him and I know what you two did to me, I still can't stop. Like the hurricane tearing me up from the inside out. If I could, I'd shut it off, all of it--

ARMAND

You wouldn't.

LOUIS

That what you think?

ARMAND

You're the most human of us, Louis. You always have been. It's your greatest strength. I don't think you'd give it up for the world.

LOUIS

Hmm.

He gives Armand's hand on his shoulder a look. Armand bites his lip and slowly lets it fall, leaving Louis standing alone again. Only not alone, not really, for better or for worse.

Louis pauses, tilting his head to listen to a voice Armand can't hear.

ARMAND

Is that--

LOUIS

Daniel.

ARMAND

Oh. Of course, yes.

LOUIS

He wants to know if I've ripped out your lungs and tossed them into the sea yet. And if I haven't yet I should 'hurry the fuck up,' because Maharet is calling another meeting.

Armand can't keep a fond smile off his lips. Louis notices.

LOUIS

I meant what I said, you know. You hurt him, I'll fucking kill you. And you'd let me, wouldn't you?

ARMAND

Always.

LOUIS

Good to know.

He turns away from the cliff, back towards the brush. Armand starts to follow, but pauses.

ARMAND

Mai--Louis?

Louis pauses without looking back.

LOUIS

Yeah?

ARMAND

I missed you.

LOUIS

(quiet, reluctant)

Yeah. Me, too.

(gathers himself)

Now, come on. Let's go bring that slippery fucker home.

He walks away from the cliff and Armand follows, close, but not quite close enough to touch. He casts one last look over his shoulder, searching the horizon for someone far, far away, then vanishes into the brush after Louis.