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Your Own Personal Heaven

Summary:

After arriving in Heaven, Dean's nursing a beer in the crowded and snowed-in Roadhouse when the door opens and Cas enters.
Crowding him, Dean makes out with him in front of everyone present, believing that he is stuck in his personal Heaven and none of it is real.

Notes:

As far as I remember, I never wrote anything set after 15x20, especially not touching Heaven. But Macy had an awesome prompt that was too tempting:

Is there a fic where Dean dies in 15x20 and goes to heaven, and when he arrives he's greeted by Cas with a "Hello, Dean" (like it should have been) - and then Dean proceeds to just kiss the shit out of him and drags him into the Roadhouse, super excited to see everyone there, ready to live his best life - all while thinking that this is his private heaven and none of it is actually real??

I changed it a bit because I combined it with the first prompt of Mydestielbabies_67's Christmas prompt list 2024: Snowed-In. Which, incidentally, is also one of the prompts of Love & Winchester's Winter Writing Wonderland.

Big thanks to Macy and Dizzybunny for the beta.

Hope you enjoy.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Being snowed-in wasn’t that bad when you could change it anytime. Actually, Dean enjoyed being stuck in the Roadhouse with his folks for Christmas Eve, especially after he had lost all of them throughout the years. Seeing them again—

It was awesome, even though he would have loved to stay on Earth for a few years longer. Well, maybe not.

Despite hating himself for leaving Sam behind, he didn’t know if he could have made it. He had tried. Fuck, he had tried so hard to live a normal life, but—

Dean sighed and sipped at the beer Pam had put in front of him. Closing his eyes, he listened to Bobby bellowing somewhere in the background. Dad shouted right back until Mom chimed in and stopped the ruckus.

“You good?” Charlie nudged him as she slid onto the stool next to him.

“Yeah.” Dean grinned at her. How couldn’t he be? Everyone was here. Everyone, except for one.

Charlie nodded and her eyes lit up. “Awesome! You wanna join us?”

“Gimme a minute,” Dean mumbled and Charlie beamed at him. He watched her join Jo and Ash at the pool table, but turned his attention back to his beer.

As much as Heaven and the feathery assholes running it sucked — sorry Jack — having his personal Heaven had its perks. No one bothered him if he didn’t let them.

Even his dad could be told off if the need arose and he would fuck off. Not that Dean had to do it too often. Bobby, Mom, or Ellen made sure of that. And they weren’t the only ones that would put John Winchester in his place up here.

Dean blamed it on his subconsciousness. For all his life, he had wished to have stood up against his dad, but he had been too much of a coward to do so. Only Sam had the balls to leave. He had always been the stronger one of the two of them.

Whereas Dean…

He hadn’t even had the nerves to do the one thing—

All of a sudden, the chatter in the Roadhouse died down. Everyone’s attention turned towards the rattling front door. It rocked again. Someone was outside. It shouldn’t be possible. Rufus had been the last one to open it when he found that a six-foot wall of snow had blocked his way out. With a shrug of his shoulders, he had closed it before doing the sensible thing: rejoining Bobby and a bunch of hunters on his table, including Dean’s parents, where he had ordered the next round.

Since then, no one had tried to leave. Although Dean hadn’t paid much attention to the weather outside, he knew it hadn’t stopped snowing. As did everyone else.

The door shook anew and with it the building’s entire structure. Several guns were cocked, knives were drawn as a bar full of hunters was on edge. Dean withstood his instinct to pull a weapon. There was no need to arm himself. This was his Heaven after all. His personal eternity. Besides, he had faced so many angelic assholes during his lifetime, they didn’t frighten him. In all those years, none of them managed to do him in for good. That honour belonged to a fucking rusty nail, thank you very much.

Dean huffed. Nah, whatever was outside, he was good. What would they want to do? Kill him? Been there, done that. Throw him into the Empty?

He shrugged. Hell, he wouldn’t even be averse to it. Not if it meant—

Blue light flickered through the room, emanating from the doorway as it lit the frame. With a creak that put one’s teeth on edge, the door slowly opened, revealing the figure behind it. Dean forgot how to breathe while countless bullets cut through the air. They punched through beige cloth, but dropped to the floor when they hit the body clad into the trench coat.

Cas tilted his head. His little squint made Dean’s heart swell. “Hello Dean.”

Dean jumped to his feet before his mind caught up. Cas. Cas was here. Of course, he was here. It was his Heaven after all. Cas had to be here.

And then, Dean was right in front of him. Gripping the lapels of the damn coat, he pulled his angel close and did what he should have done years ago. They had missed so much time.

“Heya, sunshine,” he murmured, a big smile covering his face, before his lips found Cas’. His entire body tingled at the sensations, and he hummed happily.

For an anxiety-inducing second, Cas froze, but Dean blamed it on his own freaking mind. He was such a mess that even in Heaven he freaked out. But this was his personal Heaven and it felt so fucking right, he couldn’t pull away, especially when Cas started to reciprocate. And — holy fucking cow — how he reciprocated.

Cas’ hands shot up and grabbed the back of Dean’s shirt, pulling Dean even closer to his body. His contented humming went right through Dean, reaching every single fibre of his heavenly body and touching his soul, creating fireworks all over.

Finally! Finally, he felt whole again. Tears wet his face. He had no idea if they were his or Cas’, but it didn’t matter. None of it mattered. He wanted this every fucking day for the rest of eternity.

Preferably not always a reunion, but Cas, in any possible way — real or not. If this was Heaven, Dean would take him any time, even if that meant being stuck in a goddamn time loop for the remainder of his existence.

Damn, he loved that asshole. So fucking much.

Dean shivered when Cas’ tongue traced his lips. Cas’ fingers trailed along Dean’s back and over his shoulders, marking him as his, like he had done so many years ago.

When they eventually parted for air, although neither of them needed to breathe any longer, Dean’s smile split his face.

“Fuck, I love you.”

“I love you too, Dean,” Castiel stated matter-of-factly, and even though Dean already knew the truth, it didn’t change the impact the words had on him.

Cas loved him. Of course, he loved him. He had told him so, back in the dungeon. Back when Dean was… When they both were…

It had been another life. Maybe it had been yesterday, maybe it was eons ago. It didn’t matter. Up here, time had lost all meaning.

The only constant was that Cas loved Dean.

Of course, he did. This was Dean’s personal Heaven and he could make shit up. That was what Heaven did to you. Manipulating you by giving you what you wanted. Or who you wanted.

But Dean couldn’t care less because fingers trailed over his face. Cas brushed away his tears before replacing them with his lips.

Shivering, Dean took in a deep breath as he closed his eyes and enjoyed the shit out of the sensations. Even though none of it was real. Not really.

However, if this was all he got, he would take living his dream any day, for the rest of eternity.

***

Castiel was still stunned by the sudden change of events. He hadn’t expected much when he finally made his way to the Roadhouse. Jack had informed him where to find Dean, yet Castiel had hesitated. After everything that went down the last time, he saw Dean…

Besides, according to Jack, Dean seemed to be happy without Castiel. He was living the life he had never been allowed to enjoy on Earth, although Castiel would have wished for him to get a chance to do so while he was alive. He had never planned for Dean…

His dark thoughts vanished immediately when he laid eyes on Dean. The smile on his human’s face let him forget anything else. He was so beautiful.

“I love you,” Castiel breathed his truth once again and Dean laughed.

Taking Castiel’s hand in his, he pulled him towards the bar. “Pam! You remember Cas, don’t you?” Dean froze. “Well, sure you do. But this is Heaven. None of the past matters here, right?” Chuckling, he turned to Castiel. “You’re up for a beer? Hey, can you drink beer here?” Dean frowned. “Nah, scratch that. Course you can. This is my Heaven, isn’t it? Pam, two beers for us.”

“Dean?” Castiel asked as cold dread gripped him.

But Dean ignored him and pulled him through the room. “Mom! Dad! Bobby! Look who’s here.”

John Winchester. Castiel had never met Dean’s father, but the look on his face spoke volumes. While Mary and Bobby beamed at them, John’s fiery eyes were focused on Castiel. Dean didn’t seem to notice any of it. He was happier than Castiel had ever seen him.

“I knew it,” Bobby bellowed. “Took you a damn long time to get there, son. Idjits. Both of you,” he added, grumbling.

“You knew?” John chimed in. “And you didn’t fucking—”

“John Winchester!” Mary interrupted him, staring her husband down. “Choose your next words wisely. There’s enough room in Heaven to steer clear of you for as long as I deem necessary. You might never see me or anyone else for that matter for the rest of your pitiful existence.”

“Cas!” someone else shouted through the room, and before Castiel could react, he had an armful of Charlie Bradbury.

“Sorry, Handmaiden!” Charlie turned to Dean. “Not stealing your boyfriend, but damn, it’s good to see your angel.”

Dean grinned. “Yeah, it’s awesome, isn’t it? Makes this place even better. Not sure why I only made him show up just now.”

“What?” Charlie asked, and the entire room fell silent. 

“I wanted him to be here the entire time. Jeez, I thought he’d be waiting for me.”

She stared him down. “Why do you think that you ‘made him show up’ today?” she asked the question Castiel and everyone else in the room seemed to have on their mind.

Dean blinked and tightened his grasp around Castiel’s hand. He laughed, but the levity was gone. “This is Heaven.” His eyes wandered searchingly through the room before they returned to Castiel.

“Sure, it is,” Charlie confirmed. “Remember. Down there, I’m dead as a doornail.”

Dean winced and grimaced. “My Heaven,” he added sheepishly, yet determined. “Right?”

Castiel shook his head and Dean’s face paled.

“Dude, really?” Ash yelled across the room. “You haven’t figured it out yet?”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Dean asked, but Castiel saw that his friend already knew.

John huffed, but refrained from saying anything, probably due to Mary and Bobby turning to him immediately.

However, Castiel paid them no mind. With a heavy heart, he tried to pull his hand away, but Dean held on.

“This… My personal Heaven… It’s nothing but fantasy, right?” Dean whispered, biting his bottom lip. From this near, Castiel saw tears forming in Dean’s eyes.

“No,” Castiel noted drily and a flicker of hope flitted over Dean’s face.

Encouraged by Dean’s reaction, Castiel pulled him close and stole a kiss from him. It coaxed a gasp out of the human that should be forbidden because of the effect it had on Castiel’s entire being.

Shaking and under the cheers of their friends, Castiel flapped his wings, and the Roadhouse vanished.

***

Dean was still trying to process what was happening. His body tingled in the aftermath of the flight, but that wasn’t it.

He had kissed Cas. He had kissed Cas in front of everyone. In front of his dad. In front of his mom.

“Son of a bitch,” he hissed while his knees gave out. If Cas hadn’t steadied him, he would have crashed to the floor, but instead his angel was holding him, pulling him close.

His angel.

“It’s you,” he whispered in awe. “It’s really you. You’re back.”

“Yes, Dean,” Cas confirmed and grinned.

Letting go of Cas’ hand, Dean hammered his fists against Cas’ chest while tears ran down his face. “You goddamn asshole. I hate you. I fucking hate you. That stunt you pulled. I— I—” His voice gave out, and he slumped against Cas’ body.

Cas chuckled. “No, you don’t,” he said, breathing a kiss against Dean’s forehead and carding his fingers through his hair.

Closing his eyes, Dean couldn’t help but hum contentedly. “Nah, I don’t,” he gave in as his anger dissipated into thin air.

“You really didn’t know?” Cas asked and Dean blinked.

“Know what?” Dean grouched and pulled back, staring at his angel. “That you wanted me? For God knows how long?”

“I believe neither my father nor Jack had any say in that,” Cas deadpanned. “Chuck might have guessed, but—” The corners of his mouth ticked up. “I kept messing up his plans.”

Dean rolled his eyes and snickered. “Well, that too,” conceded eventually. “But… Goddammit, why did you never say anything?”

Cas frowned. “I did. So often. You just didn’t listen.”

“Awesome. Now I’m the one who didn’t listen?” Dean huffed, shaking his head in disbelief. Yet, he couldn’t stay mad at his angel. Grinning, he stole a kiss. He could still not believe he was allowed to do that. Hell, his feelings were on a rollercoaster and despite being in Heaven, he felt dizzy.

The dizziness only intensified when Cas pulled him back in. When their lips met again, Cas opened up for him, and for several minutes, neither of them was able to talk. Not that anyone wanted to.

Dean’s mind felt thankfully too dazed to ponder too much about any of this. Instead, he focused on the sensations shooting through his body. All he could think about was the angel in his arms, pulling him close and rutting against him.

Breathlessly, Dean pulled back. “Fuck! You’re not kidding me, right? This ain’t some goddamn illusion? This shit is real?”

“As real as Heaven can be, yes,” Cas confirmed, caressing Dean’s face.

“And you sure this isn’t my personal Heaven?” Dean asked, still fearing this was a dream after all. “It felt like it.”

Cas beamed. “There aren't personal Heavens any longer. Jack made sure of it. He pulled the walls down and rebuilt it from scratch,” he explained like the proud dad he was. “It’s not yet done, though. I hadn’t expected you this early.”

Dean glared at him. “This why you didn’t show up earlier?”

“Yes. I was busy.”

“Sure, you were. Serves me right, huh?” Dean laughed hollowly when another thought hit him like a freight train. “Fuck!” Horrified, he stared at Cas as his entire body tensed up. “They know… They… Everyone. They know.”

Cas blinked, confused, before understanding flitted over his face. “Yes,” he stated again. “It’s inevitable when you make out in the middle of a crowded bar.”

Dean burst out laughing. “It is, isn’t it? Damn, I’m such a fucking idiot,” he murmured as he burrowed his head in the crook of Cas’ shoulder.

“That’s not true.” Anger coloured Cas’ voice, even though he kept up his caresses.

“But I am,” Dean argued. “All this time. Crap, I believed this was just my Heaven. Everything I did— I thought there were no repercussions.”

“Would it change anything if there were? Would you change anything?” Cas inquired, tilting his head, as far as Dean could judge from his position.

The question took Dean by surprise, yet he was even more astounded by his answer. There was not a sliver of doubt. “No.”

It was the truth. He hadn’t done anything he wouldn’t change in hindsight. Even Dad would have had to find out about them, anyway. So, why not rip the band aid off, right away. There was really nothing he would do differently.

Only one thing kept bothering him. “What about the snow?”

Cas smiled. “It’s Christmas,” he answered, deadpan.

“Really? That’s all?” Dean chuckled. “Christmas?”

“Yes, and we’re snowed in,” Cas added, a twinkle in his eyes.

“Where?”

“Your house. Or ours, if you want,” Cas said. “Though if that’s too much to presume—"

Dean gaped at him while he distantly took in his surroundings, his heavenly home. Ever since his arrival, it had felt far too big, and damn empty. There had been something missing. Someone.

Our house? As in ours? You and me? Together?”

Cas nodded and Dean gulped. Fuck, he couldn’t believe his luck. This wasn’t happening. Because… If this was Heaven, real Heaven, not his personal Mystery Spot, then—

“You’re gotta be fucking kidding me… You can’t—” Out of words, Dean blinked at his friend, his angel.

The smile on Cas’ face grew wider, like the sun rising above the horizon, and Dean’s stomach did several somersaults at once.

“If you want it to be that way, then yes,” Cas confirmed. “But if you don’t… I can have my own house. Nearby. Or far away. Whatever you want.”

“Shut up!” Dean snapped, cupping Cas’ jaw with both his hands and diving back in. Kissing Cas was fucking addicting. He felt like a parched man finding a spring in the desert. There was no way he could go back. How could he have denied himself this for years?

Breathlessly, Cas pulled back, one eyebrow raised questioningly. “Was that a yes?”

“Fuck you!” Dean grumbled, shaking his head in disbelief.

“That can be arranged,” Cas deadpanned. Grace flickered in his eyes and he smiled, looking happier than Dean had deemed possible. “Especially since no one is going to disturb us for the time being.”

Dean tried to catch up when he remembered the snow outside. “Hell yes!”

“Merry Christmas, Dean,” Cas whispered against Dean’s lips, causing goosebumps to erupt all over Dean’s skin.

“Merry fucking Christmas, sweetheart,” Dean murmured before closing the final inch. If it were down to him, they could remain snowed in for the rest of eternity, or whatever time they preferred. This might not be his personal Heaven, but it was Heaven. The real deal, including the best Christmas present he could have wished for.

After all, Heaven or not, it wasn’t Christmas without your personal angel.

Notes:

Thank you so much for reading. If you enjoyed the fic, please consider leaving kudos or a comment. I'd love to hear what you think about it. Although I'd be writing anyway, your feedback fuels me and makes all the time I spent writing it even more worthwhile.
Btw, I'm still planning to reply to each of you, even though I'm so far behind with answering comments, especially since my bang schedule is pretty busy right now.

Talking of bangs, I'll be back next week with two fics plus another art collab (over here). So, stay tuned.

In the meantime, you can also find me on Tumblr.