Chapter Text
"I can't believe you never wrote us a letter about this," Hoseok said as he and Jeongguk walked towards the Great Hall.
"I seriously forgot," Jeongguk said defensively. "Otherwise, I would've definitely written to you guys, you know."
"Yeah, yeah, I know. It's just that I was shocked to see you…" he leaned into Jeongguk's ear, "Kissing," he whispered. "I mean, we all were. Seokjin couldn't even come to his senses the whole day after that, you know."
Jeongguk felt his face grow hot at what he heard. After all, it wasn't something he would have preferred his friends to witness between the two of them.
As they entered the Great Hall and walked to their own table, they saw Yoongi sitting at their spot. "Go to your own table, mate," Hoseok said jokingly as he immediately placed his books next to Yoongi. "Why are you always at our table?"
But when Yoongi continued eating his breakfast instead of answering, Hoseok didn't press further. Most likely Yoongi hadn't gotten enough sleep, and neither of them talked anymore because they knew he would get angry if they pushed him too much.
Just as Jeongguk was about to start his breakfast, a voice from the side said, "Good morning." He looked in the direction where the voice came from and saw Taehyung, who was only two steps away from reaching him.
"Good morning," he replied as Taehyung sat next to him.
Taehyung's face wore a smile. He leaned his elbow on the table and turned to Jeongguk, "Do you have classes after breakfast?" he asked. "They've changed the class schedules."
"I haven't looked yet," Jeongguk replied. "I thought I'd check after breakfast."
Taehyung nodded in understanding and said, "Well, if you don't have class and want to join me, I'll be in the library." He moved closer to kiss Jeongguk.
He kissed his cheek lightly, and before Jeongguk even had time to react, they both heard Yoongi clear his throat meaningfully and looked at him.
"I'm trying to have breakfast here," Yoongi said, rolling his eyes. Hoseok, who was sitting next to him, was just watching what was going on and trying hard not to laugh out loud.
"I'll go then," Taehyung said as he turned to Jeongguk again.
Jeongguk, however, didn't want Taehyung to leave. So before he could get up, he grabbed him by the sweater to catch his attention. "You can have breakfast with us."
Taehyung looked at his friend Jimin, who was having breakfast one table back, and turned back to Jeongguk. "I don't want to leave Jimin alone," he said.
"Let him come too."
"No," Yoongi said instantly. "Why would he come?"
"Yoongi," Jeongguk hissed. He felt like a mother scolding her child.
"Of course, you don't know. I haven't told you yet, so let me tell you now. The professor forced us to enroll in the muggle studies. And he makes us sit side by side. And you expect him to sit here across from me while I want to have my breakfast in peace? No, let him stay there. He wouldn't want to come anyway."
"Yes, I know. Taehyung told me," Jeongguk said, indicating that he knew the situation.
"And it happened because of him. But I'm sure he told Taehyung that it happened because of me," Yoongi said. His voice was a little higher now. "But it wasn't my fault. He was the one who put his wand to my chin as soon as I officially entered the school-"
"Are you talking about me?!"
When they heard a little screeching sound and looked back, they saw Jimin getting up from the table he was sitting at and looking at Yoongi quite angrily.
"I can't believe it," Yoongi said, following it with a hysterical laugh. "Are you a wax moth or something? How can you hear me from there?" he shouted.
As Jimin's expression became more and more threatening, he started walking towards Yoongi from where he was. When he got closer, he hissed, "Did you just call me a moth?"
Yoongi put his face in his hands and groaned. "God, couldn't you test me with something else instead of Park Jimin?" he said rebelliously. Then he removed his hands from his face and turned to Jimin. "Well, you hear everything," he said, his voice even louder than before.
That was the last straw.
They were a little late to stop Jimin, as no one could have guessed that his next move would be to jump over the table and onto Yoongi.
And this fight ended with the two of them receiving yet another punishment.
More than anything, Jeongguk wanted his first class of the day to be free before he looked at the Hufflepuff 6th year class schedule. Even just one extra hour with Taehyung would be worth it to him.
When he saw that his first lesson was indeed empty, just as he'd wished, he immediately grabbed a few books and ran to the library.
Upon entering, he quickly found Taehyung. He was sitting at one of the tables right in front of the windows, seriously taking notes in the notebook before him.
When Jeongguk sat in the chair to his left, Taehyung looked up from his notebook. His lips slowly curved upward and his eyes sparkled in that way Jeongguk loved so much.
"You came," he said quietly, his voice sweet.
Instead of answering, Jeongguk nodded and then glanced at the notebook in front of Taehyung. "What are you studying?" he whispered.
When Taehyung closed his notebook and showed him the cover, Jeongguk read the word "Arithmancy" and made a sound of understanding. Since they were in the library, neither wanted to talk too much and disturb the students around them. So Jeongguk took out a few books from his bag and tried to decide which subject he should study.
When he settled on Defense Against the Dark Arts (he didn't really know how to study efficiently because he could only focus on Taehyung when he was near him, and that wasn't anything new), he looked at Taehyung, hoping it would be just for a moment. The beam of light filtering through the window illuminated his face while all his attention was on the notebook and book in front of him. He looked beautiful as always. He was just sitting there studying, but even that could easily take Jeongguk's breath away.
It never ceased to amaze Jeongguk how easily Taehyung could capture his heart.
Taehyung must have felt Jeongguk's gaze because he looked up and didn't hesitate to smile. Then he blinked playfully and mouthed, "What happened?"
He wasn't even aware of how he was stealing the air from Jeongguk's lungs, and he was smiling. As if that wasn't enough, he was also winking.
Jeongguk cleared his throat and turned back to face forward, feeling ashamed of being caught. He should have been used to blushing around Taehyung by now, but no, the warmth on his cheeks still caught him off guard.
He could hear Taehyung giggling as he tried to focus on the books in front of him, but he didn't look at him again. It took a lot of effort, but luckily he managed not to look back.
About half an hour later, their arms lightly touched and Jeongguk felt the warmth rising up his throat again. It was embarrassing how easily Taehyung affected him. It was really, really, really embarrassing. It was a simple touch, —perhaps not even a touch. Just their arms brushing against each other, nothing major, and yet Jeongguk was blushing. He had never met anyone in his life who was so prone to blushing as himself.
He tried to act nonchalant when their legs rubbed together a few minutes later. He even considered moving his chair away, but it didn't take him three seconds to abandon that thought.
While continuing to maintain his air of indifference and trying not to look at Taehyung, he decided to take a break. He put down his pen and leaned his forehead on his left arm.
A few seconds later, he jumped slightly when he felt a light touch on his right hand, which was lying on the table. As he lifted his head from his arm, Taehyung intertwined their fingers and then placed their joined hands on his leg, making Jeongguk's heart flutter at the shy, soft smile on his face.
Jeongguk made a mental note that when he really needed to study, he wouldn't do it with Taehyung anymore. It hadn't been this hard to study with him before, because these types of close encounters rarely happened, with a few exceptions.
And now he couldn't study anymore because his right hand was with Taehyung and he didn't want to pull away. Taehyung was gently caressing his hand with his thumb and he liked it very much. So he leaned his head on his arm and started watching him. Unlike Jeongguk, Taehyung seemed able to study quite easily.
After a few minutes, Taehyung turned to Jeongguk and whispered, "Why aren't you studying?"
After lifting his head from his arm, Jeongguk scratched the back of his neck with his free hand. At first he thought about not answering, but he finally spoke. "I'm right-handed."
Taehyung's brows furrowed as he looked down at their joined hands, and then his expression shifted to embarrassment as he realized the situation. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, pulling their hands apart. "I thought I'd hold it while you rest, but I completely forgot about that."
They both looked up when a girl coughed loudly from the table behind them. There was a warning look in her eyes. When Jeongguk mouthed, "Sorry," and the girl turned back around.
When Jeongguk reached for Taehyung's hand again, he felt the need to take a deep breath before what he was about to say. His gaze was on their intertwined hands. "I wanted to keep holding your hand."
When he heard Taehyung take a deep breath like him, he raised his head, but Taehyung had already separated their hands and started gathering his books from the table. Then he moved to Jeongguk's other side and set his books down.
After opening his notebook just like before, he reached for Jeongguk's hand again. The only difference was that now it was his left hand.
"You can study now," he whispered.
Jeongguk spread his hands in panic and started waving them left and right. "You don't need to do this for me, really. How are you going to study? I wasn't going to study any longer anyway—"
When the girl sitting behind them coughed again, louder than before, Jeongguk clasped his hands together and bowed his head in embarrassment. He really didn't want to bother anyone.
When he turned to Taehyung again, he saw him laughing quietly and poked him in the shoulder. "Stop laughing."
Taehyung ignored Jeongguk's protest as he reached for his hand again and intertwined their fingers. "I can use my left hand too," he replied.
This impressed Jeongguk because he couldn't even scratch his nose with his left hand.
When Jeongguk opened his mouth to say something, Taehyung put his index finger on his lips and didn't let him speak. "I don't think we should talk anymore. Or we'll be kicked out." He had an amused expression on his face.
Without saying anything else and without giving Jeongguk the opportunity to speak, he turned back to his notebook and continued studying. Jeongguk, on the other hand, knew that he wouldn't be able to focus on his lesson while holding hands with Taehyung.
Taehyung didn't hesitate to kiss Jeongguk in public (on the cheek), never bothering to hide his love for him. The rumor that they were dating had started to spread throughout the school, and Jeongguk felt a little insecure about it because they had never talked about dating. He wasn't sure if it would be appropriate to refer to Taehyung as his boyfriend to someone, and he knew he had to talk about it with Taehyung, but how could he?
"Jeongguk!"
When he heard someone calling him, he looked in the direction of the voice and saw Namjoon. He was coming towards him with his books tucked under his arm. When he sat down next to him, he put his books on the other side and turned to Jeongguk with a smile. "What's up? I haven't seen you around in a long time."
Jeongguk smiled back at Namjoon. "I'm fine, hyung. What's up with you?"
Namjoon took a deep breath and looked at the sky. "I'm fine too. It's my last year, you know. Exams, classes... I'm just dealing with them."
"We both know you'll be valedictorian."
Jeongguk's comment made Namjoon laugh. "I hope so."
"Did you come to watch the training match?" Jeongguk asked. Slytherin and Ravenclaw were going to have a training match today for the main Quidditch match to be played in a few weeks. Jeongguk had come to watch too. "Taehyung said the match would be against Ravenclaw."
"Exactly," Namjoon replied. "When I heard it was going to be with Slytherin, I thought I wouldn't miss it. Yoongi and Jimin's rivalry has always been the most fun."
"You're right," Jeongguk agreed.
"So… Taehyung likes you too, huh?" he said in a surprised tone. "I've heard from a few people that you're dating, and I guess it really is true."
"We're not dating," Jeongguk said immediately.
Namjoon's brows furrowed in confusion. "You're not?" he said as if to confirm. His voice was skeptical.
Jeongguk's shoulders slumped. "We're not," he said. He wasn't looking at Namjoon anymore. "We're not boyfriends... we're something like that."
"You're not boyfriends, but something like that?"
"I mean, we've never talked about being boyfriends yet. We said we loved each other, but there was no mention of dating."
"I understand," Namjoon said as he sighed. "You haven't talked about being boyfriends, but you're acting close to each other. Like boyfriends do."
"Yes," Jeongguk confirmed.
"Have you ever tried to talk to him about this?"
"No."
"Maybe you should talk, Jeongguk," Namjoon said seriously. "This situation seems to be bothering you."
Jeongguk looked at his hands. He was too shy to ask Taehyung what they were, and he didn't want anything he said to have a bad effect on their relationship. He loved their relationship and didn't want to ruin it because of his own insecurities.
They didn't need to put labels on their relationship, but he still wanted Taehyung to be his boyfriend.
"I'm not bothered. I just—"
"Yes, dear audience! Oh, there weren't many people here, ahem— anyway! Welcome to the training match between Ravenclaw and Slytherin!"
Jeongguk turned to Namjoon and said, "The match is starting. We'll talk later."
They both knew they wouldn't.
"Taehyung! You were amazing!" Jeongguk shouted as Taehyung walked towards him.
After the match, all the spectators had left, but Taehyung had told him that he would come to him, so he didn't get up and waited.
Taehyung laughed as he sat next to him. "Was I?"
"Of course," Jeongguk said, as if what Taehyung was asking was ridiculous and the answer was obvious. (It was.)
"Do you have class?" Taehyung asked, leaning his head on Jeongguk's shoulder.
"No."
"Then can we sit here for a while? I'm tired."
"We can." Then something occurred to him. "But didn't you just get out of the shower? What if you get sick? It's cold," he said in a worried voice. It was still January.
"Hmm, it'll be okay," Taehyung said. "It's not that cold. Besides, look, I'm wearing the scarf your mother knitted for me. Nothing will happen."
Jeongguk laughed out loud at this. "This scarf isn't magical, Taehyung. There's no way you won't get sick just by wearing this." After saying that, he remembered that the bag he had next to him was an expansion magical bag, and he immediately started looking inside. They were supposed to have a fleece blanket because they were going to the tower in astronomy class.
When he found what he was looking for, he immediately handed the blanket to Taehyung. "Here. Cover up with this now."
"What about you?"
"I dressed warmly," he said, but he wasn't even wearing a scarf.
"Just because you dress warmly doesn't mean you won't get sick." He shot Jeongguk with his own logic, which made Jeongguk laugh. "Besides, you're not even wearing a scarf. If someone's going to be sick., I think it's you." His voice sounded a little more serious and worried.
Taehyung threw the fleece over his back, pushed himself back in his seat, spread his legs and patted them with his hand. "Come here," he said to Jeongguk. "Sit between my legs. So we can share the blanket."
Jeongguk felt shy, but it wasn't an offer he could refuse. So, as Taehyung said, he sat between his legs and moved closer until his back was touching Taehyung's chest.
Taehyung handed both ends of the fleece to Jeongguk, then hugged him tightly around his waist and rested his chin in the crook between his shoulder and neck.
He loved the way Taehyung held him. It was as if he couldn't stay away from him, had to hold him close. He didn't pull Jeongguk towards him, he just held him like he couldn't bear to be away from him, and Jeongguk loved it.
"Are you comfortable?"
"I'm comfortable," Jeongguk said, wrapping the fleece around himself. It was more comfortable than ever before. Then he said cheerfully, "You're always so good, but you were really good today, Taehyung. Your maneuvers were magnificent." He caressed Taehyung's hands on his waist.
He heard Taehyung chuckle. "I'm glad you liked it. I did most of it to impress you, and I guess it worked."
Jeongguk's cheeks and neck flushed with a familiar wave of heat, and he gently patted Taehyung's arm. "Don't say things like that," he said with mock anger. "And you know you don't have to do things like that to impress me."
The pressure between his shoulder and neck disappeared. "Are you trying to say that you're impressed by me even if I don't do anything?" Taehyung said in a playful tone. He leaned in from the side to see Jeongguk's face, but Jeongguk turned his head away.
Taehyung burst out laughing. "You're blushing."
When Jeongguk tried to get up, Taehyung tightened his arms around his waist and hurried, "Okay, okay, okay," he said. He suppressed his laughter so as not to provoke Jeongguk and gently kissed the back of his neck. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you angry."
He wasn't angry. He wouldn't get mad at Taehyung for something like that. He was just very embarrassed. "I'm not angry," he said. "Just," he huffed. He didn't know how to say it. "When I'm around you, when you say or do something... I blush very easily, and it's not something I can control. And—and I don't like it at all." He wasn't really upset. He was blushing, and knowing he was blushing, he was turning even redder with embarrassment.
"What? You don't like it?"
"Of course not. Why would I?"
"I don't know..." Taehyung said thoughtfully. "I love seeing you blush. You look so pretty."
Taehyung's chest was still pressed against his back, and Jeongguk was grateful for that because he could feel his face burning even more, and combined with his loving expression, he could imagine what he must have looked like.
They probably looked like lovesick fools.
He tried to calm himself as he lowered his head. It was really hard to do when he was with Taehyung, but he tried anyway.
He didn't know what to say. So he grabbed Taehyung's hands around his waist and then heard him chuckle lightly. He felt Taehyung's cheek rest on his shoulder.
Taehyung probably realized that Jeongguk had nothing to say and decided to keep quiet about it so as not to embarrass him further.
"I feel like a stranger in my own family and home, but a person I haven't even known for a year makes me feel like I'm at home and like family," he said quietly. His voice sounded both hurt and peaceful at the same time. "It's strange, really."
While one of his hands stayed wrapped around Jeongguk's waist, he grabbed Jeongguk's hand with the other and intertwined their fingers.
Meanwhile, Jeongguk couldn't help the affection and warmth that was expanding inside his chest until it left him breathless.
"Loving you is so easy, Jeongguk," Taehyung said calmly. Jeongguk squeezed the hand he was holding. Somehow, he felt like he had to let him know he was listening. "Loving you is really easy. But loving me is not easy at all. I know this and thank you for loving me. I feel very lucky to have you, your love."
He was wrong. Loving Taehyung wasn't hard at all. In fact, it was the easiest thing Jeongguk had ever done in his entire life. It was something he could always do and never tire of doing.
And he wanted to make Taehyung believe this too. He wanted to convince him that he was worthy of being loved and that loving him was not difficult at all, but he didn't know how. He could tell him he loved him until morning, but Taehyung still wouldn't be convinced because it had nothing to do with Jeongguk loving him; it was all about Taehyung. It was about the value Taehyung placed on himself.
Even if he would love him more or say it more than he did now, it wouldn't change what Taehyung thought and felt about himself.
And Jeongguk hated the way Taehyung thought and felt about himself. He hated Taehyung's parents for making him think and feel that way about himself.
"Should we get up now?" Taehyung asked in a husky voice. "I'll fall asleep on your shoulder."
Jeongguk laughed lightly. "Let's go."
Taehyung got up from behind him, folded the fleece blanket, gave it to Jeongguk and waited for him, standing with his hands in his pockets.
As Jeongguk put the fleece blanket back, he paused when he spotted something in his bag: a gift wrap. He was frowning in confusion when it suddenly dawned on him.
He had bought a gift for Taehyung for Christmas and planned to give it to him on the first day of school, but he had completely forgotten that the gift even existed. Where was his mind?
"Did something happen?" Taehyung asked, sounding slightly worried.
Jeongguk knew he wouldn't do something like forgetting to give the gift again, but he didn't want to keep waiting any longer. He would probably just keep prolonging it, constantly waiting for the 'right' moment to give the gift.
So, he took the gift wrap from his bag, stood up, and handed it to Taehyung.
"I got this while we were on New Year's holiday. Actually, I was planning to give it earlier, but... I couldn't."
While Taehyung listened to what Jeongguk said, he took the gift package and opened it without waiting.
It was a small box.
When he opened the box, Jeongguk began to explain, "This is an mp4 player. I loaded it with the songs you liked when we listened to them together, and some songs that I couldn't make you listen to but that I loved very much. It's a device for listening to songs."
He walked over to Taehyung, took the mp4 player out of the box, and started explaining how to use it. When buying it, he had tried to choose the one that was easiest to use. He didn't want Taehyung to struggle with the player just to listen to a song.
When he took out the headphones from the bottom of the box, he plugged them into the mp4 player and then handed it to Taehyung. "Can you hear it?"
Taehyung nodded and took off the headphones. When Jeongguk put the headphones and player back into the box, he handed it to Taehyung. "It's not too difficult to use. But still, if you forget or something, you can ask me."
Something cracked in Taehyung's expression, his eyes shining as he wrapped his arms around Jeongguk's shoulders.
Jeongguk laughed loudly. "Did you like it that much?"
"Yes."
Jeongguk hummed happily, resting his chin on Taehyung's shoulder and wrapping his arms around his waist.
He loved how Taehyung's body felt like a strong, reliable castle surrounding him. He hoped Taehyung felt that way too.
Taehyung's nose wandered over his neck and Jeongguk heard him take a deep breath. Feeling his breath on his neck made him shiver. At first he had been angry at himself for coming to the match without his scarf, but now he was thinking, I'm glad I didn't.
When they parted, Taehyung cupped Jeongguk's cheeks and gently kissed him on the lips. "Thank you."
"You're welcome," Jeongguk mumbled.
Taehyung's hands were still on his cheeks. Jeongguk held Taehyung's wrists with his hands.
He wanted him to kiss him again.
And Taehyung leaned in to his lips again, as if he had heard what he was thinking. Jeongguk closed his eyes in pleasure when the lips he longed for touched his own again. He wanted to feel them over and over again; until he couldn't breathe anymore. He wanted Taehyung to kiss him with everything he had, and somehow, he knew he would.
Every morning, before Taehyung went to his own table, he would always come to Jeongguk and say good morning, then kiss him on the cheek or forehead before going to his own table, next to Jimin. If he arrived before Jeongguk, he would see him before Jeongguk reached him and meet him halfway.
And every time Jeongguk felt the dizzying ecstasy of love.
"I guess you're still not used to Taehyung kissing you," he heard Hoseok say. He was stuck in his thoughts about Taehyung and it was a miracle that he even heard Hoseok talking to him.
"Why did you say that?" he asked. Taehyung had just left his side and left breakfast early for today's Quidditch match.
"Because whenever he kisses you, you look like a fish out of water."
He didn't know how to comment on that because he didn't know what he looked like after Taehyung kissed him. Still, he hoped Taehyung didn't think the same way as Hoseok.
"You're mean," he said as he went back to his breakfast. He wouldn't deny that he was upset by Hoseok's comment.
"I was just joking, dear. Don't frown that pretty face of yours," he pinched Jeongguk's cheek.
After Jeongguk smiled at his friend, Hoseok spoke again.
"Valentine's Day is coming up. Have you thought about doing something together?"
His smile fell. He put his fork down on his plate. He had lost his appetite and could not ignore the weight that suddenly sat like an elephant in the middle of his chest. They hadn't talked about Valentine's Day.
They hadn't talked about dating.
"What happened?" Hoseok asked. "Your face fell again. Did I say something wrong?"
"No, no you didn't say anything wrong." He tried to reassure his friend, but apparently he was unsuccessful. "Really. It's not about you. It's all about me."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Jeongguk poured out all the thoughts that had been gnawing at him for the past few days, as if he had been waiting for Hoseok to say this. He talked non-stop for almost five minutes, and Hoseok listened to his friend with great seriousness.
Jeongguk put his head in his hands. "At first, I didn't care whether we were boyfriends or not. When we were so good together, I didn't care at all whether to make it official or not. I thought this would be enough for me, but I feel like it's not enough anymore. I mean, not much will change when we become boyfriends, but I want to have a boyfriend, do you understand? I want to know that I have a boyfriend."
Hoseok didn't speak at first. Then he crossed his arms over his chest. "You should talk to Taehyung. You won't get very far without talking to him and getting his opinion on this."
Jeongguk knew Hoseok was right, but what was he going to say to Taehyung? How would he start the conversation?
"If you ask my opinion, Taehyung thinks you're already dating, though." Hoseok said confidently.
"I don't think so."
Hoseok shrugged. "Just saying."
Jeongguk was about to open his mouth to speak when he noticed the students quickly leaving the Great Hall. When he turned to Hoseok, his friend said, "I think it's time for the match," and stood up. "Let's go." He reached Jeongguk, put his arm around his friend's shoulder and squeezed his cheek with his other hand. "Don't worry, okay sweetheart?" he said supportively.
Jeongguk just nodded his head.
Slytherin lost the Quidditch match against Ravenclaw.
When Ravenclaw caught the Golden Snitch in the 40th minute and ended the game, Jeongguk's gaze immediately turned to Taehyung.
At first, Taehyung stood on his broom as if he couldn't understand what was happening. Then he quickly descended to the ground, angrily took off his helmet, threw it down, and disappeared inside.
Jeongguk was still staring at where Taehyung had vanished while Hoseok continued cheering for Yoongi beside him.
As students slowly began leaving the Quidditch field, Hoseok nudged them to get up. Then, "Oh, sorry. You're waiting for Taehyung," he said, and after lightly ruffling Jeongguk's hair, he headed for the exit.
After every match or practice, Jeongguk would stay on the field and wait for Taehyung to come to him, and when he did, they would sit together for a while.
Even though twenty minutes had passed, Taehyung still hadn't come.
"Jeongguk!"
He looked in the direction of the voice and saw Jimin. His hair looked damp, probably from just coming out of the shower. When he reached Jeongguk, he said, "Taehyung said not to wait."
"Where is he?"
"He still hasn't changed out of his uniform and doesn't look like he will. He's in a bad mood because we lost," he said. It was obvious that Jimin was also in a bad mood. Losing to Yoongi must have made him even more frustrated. "I need to go inside. I'm cold. See you later."
Jeongguk started walking toward the Slytherins' locker room. He wanted to see Taehyung.
When he reached the locker room, he knocked on the door and entered, but couldn't see Taehyung.
"Taehyung?"
While calling out to him, he wandered around the locker room, and when he came to the last row of lockers, he found Taehyung. As Jimin had said, he still hadn't changed and was standing with his forehead pressed against the locker.
He must have sensed Jeongguk coming because he lifted his head from where he was leaning and looked at him. He looked tired. He sat on the bench next to the lockers.
"Didn't Jimin tell you?" he asked. His elbows were on his knees, his head was down, and his eyes were fixed on the ground. "I told you not to wait for me. You didn't need to come."
Sometimes people might not want anyone around them, and that was perfectly normal. Even though he knew this, he couldn't understand why Taehyung's words broke his heart.
"I came because I was worried about you," he said, taking a step back. He hoped his hurt wouldn't show in his voice. "If you don't want me here, I can leave."
As he turned to leave, Taehyung lifted his head and grabbed Jeongguk's wrist.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that," he said immediately. Then he loosened his grip on Jeongguk's wrist and moved aside on the bench. "Sit down."
Jeongguk hesitantly sat next to Taehyung. For the first time in a long while, he felt nervous around him. The energy he was giving off made people feel that way.
"You played really well, Taehyung," Jeongguk said after a few seconds of silence. He turned his body toward him, but Taehyung didn't reciprocate. His elbows were still on his knees, and he was looking at his hands instead of at Jeongguk.
"I wasn't good enough."
"No, you were good enough," Jeongguk replied, and Taehyung quickly turned to him. He looked very different from his normal self. Angry, sad, tense...
"If I was good enough, we would have won, Jeongguk," he said sternly. "But we lost. When you don't win, it doesn't matter whether you played well or badly. Everyone looks at the result, not the process."
Even though he became more uneasy with Taehyung's sudden outburst, he tried to reassure himself by thinking that this reaction was momentary and normal. "You can't win every time," he replied gently. He was choosing his words as carefully as possible and trying not to say anything that would trigger Taehyung negatively.
"None of us are perfect, Taehyung. That's life; sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. That's how it should be."
"I know," Taehyung huffed. "But just knowing doesn't help."
Jeongguk touched Taehyung's cheek with one hand. "Look at me." After saying this, he cupped his cheeks with both hands and made him look at him. "I'll say it again, and I'll keep saying it: you were really good. You may not have won, but you worked hard to win, and I'm sure you'll win next time. You're not perfect, Taehyung. You can't be. None of us can be. You can't win all the time, we can't. It's against human nature." He caressed his cheeks and smiled. "You did your best. But that's life, sometimes things don't go our way. Like I said, you did really well. I'm proud of you."
As soon as he finished speaking, he found himself in Taehyung's arms. He paused for a few seconds, but then wrapped his arms around Taehyung.
"Are you feeling better?"
"Much better," Taehyung mumbled and then kissed Jeongguk's neck. "Thank you. I guess I just needed to know someone was proud of me." There was a short pause. "It may sound childish, but sometimes I really need validation."
"It's not childish. It's humanistic," Jeongguk corrected. "Everyone needs validation from time to time. You're not alone."
He heard Taehyung laugh. "If you say so, it must be true." Then he pulled away from Jeongguk. "I'll take a shower and come back. Can you wait?" he asked. He now had a smile on his face.
"Of course." When he replied, Taehyung kissed him on the cheek and then left.
Jeongguk was relieved that he could make Taehyung feel better. The feeling of joy numbed his bones and he felt his body relax.
Taehyung was smiling when he came out of the shower, and it made Jeongguk smile too. He reached for the towel in Taehyung's hand. "Give it here. Let me dry your hair."
"This reminds me of when you were sick," Taehyung said as Jeongguk started drying his hair. He sat on the floor in front of Jeongguk. "I was drying your hair." He paused briefly. "I was so scared when I saw you that sick."
"I get sick around that time every year," Jeongguk replied. "It's nothing to worry about." After saying that, he touched his hair. "It seems dry enough. But let's put your hat on anyway. Don't want you getting sick."
Taehyung stood up and took his towel from Jeongguk and opened his locker. He put on his coat and said, "Let's go," as he extended his hand to Jeongguk.
Jeongguk had seen many beautiful people, but none of them could compare to Taehyung.
His blonde hair was damp, falling over his forehead, and even though it was tangled, he somehow looked more beautiful than ever, and the smile didn't help at all.
"What's wrong?" Taehyung asked with an amused expression. Jeongguk didn't know what he looked like from the outside, but maybe it was better not to know.
He took Taehyung's extended hand and stood up too. "Just," he mumbled as they started walking toward the door. He looked at Taehyung from under his eyelashes, and because of his still slightly smiling expression, the words came out of his mouth before he could control them. "You're smiling. I like it when you smile." He pressed his lips together, looked solemnly into the distance, and scratched the back of his neck with his free hand.
The moment Jeongguk looked at Taehyung, that sweet smile appeared on his lips again.
"I hope you know that this smile only happens when I'm with you."
Right then, Jeongguk could have been mistaken for a traffic light with how red he turned.
He lightly patted Taehyung's chest with his free hand. "Don't say things like that," he said but couldn't hide the grin on his face.
"Don't you like it?"
"It's not that I don't like it..." Jeongguk responded.
"So there you have it," Taehyung said cheerfully. Then, before Jeongguk could say anything, he placed his hand over his heart and said dramatically, "If it's not because of you, I don't even want to smile."
Still, he meant what he said.
Jeongguk's eyes widened as he covered his mouth with his free hand. "Where do you come up with these things?"
Taehyung let out a loud laugh as he threw his head back, but instead of answering, he wrapped his arm around Jeongguk's shoulder, kissed his temple, then pressed his cheek against his head and didn't let go until they got back to school.
For the past few days, whenever he wasn't with Taehyung, Jeongguk had been preoccupied with one thought: He wanted to put a name to their relationship.
He thought about it some more after talking to Hoseok and knew his friend was right. He needed to talk to Taehyung but he didn't know how to do it. He didn't know where to start. Maybe if he started talking, the rest would follow, but the main thing was to start anyway - which was exactly what Jeongguk couldn't do. Besides, it never seemed like the right time or place to talk about it.
He closed the book in front of him and leaned his forehead on the table, huffing. He would soon go crazy thinking about it.
"Jeongguk?"
When he heard Taehyung's voice, he lifted his head from the table and looked in the direction where the voice came from.
"Do you have a headache? Are you sick?" Taehyung asked in a worried tone when Jeongguk looked at him. He placed his books on the table and sat down, leaning forward to press his palm against Jeongguk's forehead, frowning. "You don't actually have a fever. Are you feeling bad?" When his hands reached Jeongguk's cheeks, Jeongguk grabbed Taehyung's wrists and caressed the inside of them with his thumb.
"I'm fine, I'm not sick. I don't have a headache. Don't worry."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm very sure."
Taehyung finally pulled his hands away, but he still had a skeptical look. Jeongguk could see it in his expression. He laughed slightly. "What?"
"Are you sure you're okay?" Taehyung asked. "For a few days... I don't know. You seem to have something going on."
So Taehyung noticed it too, Jeongguk thought to himself. He had noticed and wanted to make sure everything was okay. Maybe this was the right time. Maybe now he could confide in Taehyung about the thoughts that had been eating him up inside for a few days and get rid of this feeling of insecurity.
While Jeongguk struggled with his thoughts, Taehyung intertwined their fingers and touched his free hand under Jeongguk's chin, encouraging him to look at him. "You can talk to me whenever you want. You know that, right?" he said, and Jeongguk's heart thumped in his chest from the emotion he felt.
After Jeongguk nodded his head, Taehyung leaned forward and placed a quick, soft kiss on Jeongguk's lips. "Come on, tell me."
It took a few more seconds for him to feel a little more ready. Just when he thought he could talk, he looked behind Taehyung and saw Jimin waving at him and coming towards them, and he pressed his parted lips together again and smiled. He waved to Jimin with his free hand.
When Taehyung turned around, Jimin was already next to them. "What's up?" he asked as he sat next to Taehyung.
"We're fine, Jimin. You?" Jeongguk replied. He took his hand away from Taehyung's.
"I'm good too," Jimin said, dragging out the last syllable. As silence fell between them, Jimin's eyes began to move back and forth between the two of them. "I think I stumbled into the middle of a serious conversation between lovers."
While Jeongguk was on the verge of having a coughing fit because of the word Jimin used to describe them, Taehyung didn't seem to be affected at all. On the contrary, it seemed like Jimin had said something very normal in his opinion.
"You didn't interrupt anything," Taehyung said as he turned to his friend.
"Well, at least-"
"We didn't even get started, thanks to you," he said then grumpily.
As Jimin's eyes widened at Taehyung's response, his gaze began to move back and forth between the two of them again, and then he smiled nervously and said, "Then, excuse me." He stood up and walked away from them.
Jeongguk, ignoring Taehyung's reaction to Jimin's choice of words just now, turned to him and tapped him lightly but reproachfully on the shoulder. However, he still had a smile on his face. "Why did you say that? What if he gets upset with you?"
Taehyung reached for Jeongguk's hand again. "Nothing will happen. It won't hurt him," he said, then straightened in his seat and turned fully towards Jeongguk again. "Yes, I'm listening."
"Hm?"
"You were going to say something."
It felt like he couldn't say it anymore and now wasn't the right time to talk about it. It hadn't even been five minutes since he was about to speak, but now it was much different. He didn't feel like he could talk about it anymore. He couldn't quite muster up the courage.
"Can we not talk now? We'll talk later," he said as he opened his book. He wasn't looking at Taehyung.
There was no sound from Taehyung for a while, but Jeongguk didn't dare to look either. Then he heard Taehyung say, "Okay." Still, his voice didn't sound like the way he usually spoke to him. That's why Jeongguk turned to Taehyung and pressed a kiss to his lips, just like he had done earlier, and Taehyung's smile didn't take long to appear.
Jeongguk was feeling better now.
There was something Jeongguk noticed about Taehyung: whenever he put his hand in Taehyung's hair, he would rest his head on his hand, and right now, it was one of those moments.
"Taehyung," Jeongguk called out.
"Hm?" Taehyung mumbled but continued reading the book in front of him.
"Whenever I touch your hair, you lean your head against my hand." Even he could feel the joy and warmth in his voice.
Taehyung quickly sat up and turned his whole body towards Jeongguk. He had a small smile on his face. "Really?" he asked.
"Yes," Jeongguk replied, smiling just like him.
He could see from where he was sitting that Taehyung's cheeks were turning pink, and he was making a superhuman effort not to catch his lips. Since the Great Hall was so crowded right now, it might not be appropriate for him to kiss him in public.
Taehyung scratched the back of his neck shyly. He refused to make eye contact with Jeongguk. "I'm not aware of it at all. Really. But maybe it's because I'm relaxed. When you touch me, I feel good and relaxed."
But after Taehyung said that, it was impossible for Jeongguk not to kiss him. That's why, after putting his hand on the back of Taehyung's neck, he connected their lips and lightly sucked his upper lip, then pulled back.
Taehyung's face was red this time. Jeongguk wondered if he looked like Taehyung when he blushed. Although, he knew that no matter what, he couldn't even come close to him in beauty.
He looked at Taehyung's stunned expression. It was obvious that he was shocked. Apparently he wasn't expecting such an attack. "You're blushing," he said, giggling.
The smile starting to bloom on Taehyung's face as he came to with Jeongguk's words, "I guess we switched roles."
Jeongguk tucked a strand of Taehyung's hair behind his ear. "You are so sweet."
"Look who's talking."
"My flower!"
When Jeongguk came out of the bubble he and Taehyung were in at the sound of Hoseok's voice, his friend was already there.
"I think you all agreed today to divide us," Taehyung said playfully, but it was clear from his voice how dissatisfied he was with this situation. "Jimin one, you two."
Hoseok, on the other hand, didn't seem to mind Taehyung's sarcasm at all. Or maybe he didn't realize he was being sarcastic. Jeongguk couldn't decide which. He just laughed and said, "Oh God, Taehyung."
Then he told Jeongguk that the Hufflepuff president had told them all to gather in the common room before going to bed for the evening, and said to his friend, "See you later, love," before leaving them.
As soon as Hoseok's last word left his mouth, Jeongguk felt Taehyung's body tense. When he turned to look at him, he saw that the Taehyung from before and the Taehyung now were completely different people.
This had nothing to do with the boy who was smiling in front of him just now and who was blushing because he was shy. Taehyung, whom he was currently looking at, was clenching his jaw and frowning.
"What happened?" Jeongguk asked.
"Can't this kid call you by your name?" Taehyung replied harshly through clenched teeth.
Jeongguk remained silent for a few seconds because he didn't know how to react. "Are you jealous?" he asked, unable to stop smiling.
He burst into laughter when he noticed Taehyung's hard and cold expression crack at his statement. Hoseok wasn't even the last person Taehyung should be jealous of.
As his laughter began to calm down, he looked at Taehyung and noticed that this time his facial expression was sullen rather than hard and cold.
Without waiting, he cupped his cheeks and kissed his pouty lips. "He's been like this since we were little," he said, trying to reassure him. "He's a little too fond of me."
Taehyung suddenly and quickly turned his gaze to Jeongguk. "I'm a little too fond of you too," he said irritably and harshly.
Jeongguk's smile faded. If it were any other moment, he might have enjoyed Taehyung's mood, but right now he couldn't because he could guess how he felt and he didn't want him to feel that way.
"To you, —my love," he said. "The others are whatever, but this one, —no. No. Not my love. You're not his love or anything."
"He doesn't mean it that way," Jeongguk replied.
For a few seconds, Taehyung said nothing and refused to look at Jeongguk. Then, as he turned back to the front, he said, "I'm sorry. I overreacted," and started collecting his belongings on the table.
"Are you leaving?" Jeongguk asked. He couldn't hide the disappointment in his voice.
"Yes."
Jeongguk tried to collect his thoughts. He didn't want Taehyung to leave. At least not this way. He was going to say that he would talk to Hoseok and tell him not to call him that way anymore, at least not around Taehyung.
But Taehyung was already gone.
Jeongguk needed to talk to Taehyung before the day was over because he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep at night if he didn't.
That's why he went down to the dungeon floor, thinking that Taehyung would be in the Slytherin common room during the free time before dinner. As he approached the Slytherin house, he saw a group of Slytherins in front of the door, which caused his steps to slow down.
"Are they really dating?" he heard one of them say.
Another said, "Jeon Jeongguk and Taehyung?" He laughed after saying that. "The most irrelevant duo."
After Jeongguk heard his name and Taehyung's name, he immediately ducked behind the pillar in front of him. He knew what he did wasn't right, but he wondered what else they would talk about.
"I saw Taehyung kissing him, though. And it wasn't secret. It was ordinary, in public."
"Are you serious?"
"Yes."
There was a brief silence between them, and then someone who hadn't spoken before asked, "Are Taehyung and him together?" His voice dripped with disgust, even audible from where Jeongguk stood. "For Merlin's sake, what would a pureblood who has never spoken a word to anyone other than Jimin, even us, do with him? He's just having fun. That mudblood called Jeongguk is also prone to being deceived."
There wasn't the slightest grain of truth in what he said. Jeongguk knew this and couldn't control the anger rising inside him. He had never wanted to punch someone right in the face before in his life, but now he did. He clenched his fists but did not move.
That boy talking about Taehyung as if he were someone who played with people's emotions? He didn't know whether he was more angry about that or about being talked about as if he were a simpleton who believed whatever came his way.
"Jimin and Taehyung are probably talking about how stupid Jeon Jeongguk is."
He had now crossed the line.
Jeongguk was about to step out from behind the pillar when he saw Jimin. His face was contorted in anger and disgust.
"Actually," he said, aiming at the person who had just spoken, "We're talking about what an arrogant and incompetent loser you are." He tilted his head slightly, smiled, and blinked rapidly. Then his face returned to its previous state and he began to walk towards the boy, slowly but surely. "Mind your own damn business. I don't want to hear you talk about Jeongguk or Taehyung again. You know, thanks to my fights with Min Yoongi, I'm used to getting punished. So, I won't hesitate to use my wand on you. Also, pray Taehyung didn't hear you talking about Jeongguk. Because I can't imagine what would happen if he heard you talking like that. Although, I will tell him what you said anyway, but of course it won't have the same effect."
After Jimin finished speaking, he smiled sweetly, straightened the boy's tie, and then brushed off his shoulders with the back of his hand. "Now, take a hike."
Since the boy's back was turned to him throughout the entire one-sided conversation, Jeongguk couldn't see his reaction, but judging by his silence, it seemed like he had been put in his place.
"Take a hike?" one of them asked. Confusion was evident in his voice.
"I learned that from the muggle-born students in my muggle studies class. It's a polite form of 'fuck you.' How about it?" he said, smiling again. Jimin could make someone feel terrible even with just his facial expressions and gestures. He spoke as if he didn't take them seriously at all, which he didn't.
As disapproving murmurs began to rise from the others, Jimin spoke again.
"If one day you want to take your head out of that tiny window through which you look at the world and understand that there is actually no difference between being a pureblood and a muggle-born, I invite you to our muggle studies class. Also, if you take a good look at the wizards you try to despise by calling them impure, most of them are actually much better wizards than you. You overestimate yourself just because you're pureblood."
Jimin hadn't left anything else for Jeongguk to say; he had given them his all.
After seeing the people in front of the door, including Jimin, entering, he leaned his back against the pillar and waited where he was. He wanted to talk to Taehyung, he should talk to him, but after what he had just witnessed, he felt like all his energy had been drained.
When he heard the sound of a door opening behind him, he didn't pay attention at first, but when he heard footsteps coming towards him, he realized it was Taehyung before he saw him. He now knew him even by his footsteps.
Before he even had time to straighten up from where he was leaning, he found himself in familiar arms. Taehyung's face was buried against him as he hugged him tightly.
"You're here," he said breathlessly. He must have run.
Without moving away from Taehyung, Jeongguk straightened his stance and wrapped his arms around him just like Taehyung had done. He hugged Taehyung's waist tightly.
"I'm here."
"I'm sorry," Taehyung muttered. His lips brushed against Jeongguk's neck.
"Why?"
"Because you heard the things they said. I don't know exactly what they said, but Jimin told me a little about it." He slowly pulled away from Jeongguk and looked at his face.
"How did you know I was here?" Jeongguk asked. He thought Jimin hadn't seen him.
"Jimin thought he saw you, but he wasn't exactly sure. So I came to make sure and... you are here."
Jeongguk smiled bitterly. "Yes, I was here," he said reluctantly. He'd rather not have been. He wished Taehyung hadn't heard about all this either. When he looked at the expression on his face, he could see how disturbed he was by this situation.
"You're so lucky to have a friend like Jimin," he said to clear the tense atmosphere. "You should have seen it. He was so cool. I'd feel pretty bad if I were them."
But Taehyung didn't seem to listen to him. There was an expression on his face that Jeongguk had never seen before; he looked like he was in pain.
His gaze shifted downwards as familiar hands found his, and then he followed suit, intertwining their fingers.
When his eyes landed on Taehyung's face again, Taehyung said with all seriousness, "Please don't doubt my love for you," Then he leaned their foreheads together, closed his eyes, and said quietly, "I love you."
Jeongguk's heart almost physically shook from the sincerity he heard in Taehyung's voice.
After separating their joined hands, he took a step closer to him and started to rub his back, feeling Taehyung relax.
I guess he really does relax when I touch him, he thought to himself.
He had even forgotten what he came for, but that was okay. Nothing mattered until Taehyung felt better.
"You know I love you, right?"
It had been no more than five minutes since several Slytherin students had been talking about the two of them, and now Taehyung was wrapped in the safe circle of his arms.
Jeongguk tightened his arms around Taehyung's waist and rested his chin on his shoulder. "I know." He didn't want Taehyung to be insecure about this at all.
Taehyung broke away from Jeongguk and grabbed his shoulders. "When I'm with you, I always feel loved; cared for. I hope I can make you feel that way too, and other people's ridiculous comments don't make you doubt."
Jeongguk could see the fear and desperation in his eyes. He placed one hand over Taehyung's hand on his shoulder. "I know you love me, I feel it. I don't care what others think or say about our relationship. People talk, Taehyung. You can't stop that."
"I wish I could stop it."
"You can't prevent it, but you can ignore it," Jeongguk said. "Try to do that, okay?"
"I'll try."
"Promise me."
Jeongguk being so insistent made Taehyung laugh. "Promise."
"Well done," Jeongguk replied, patting Taehyung's head. "You'll feel so much better when you stop caring about them. I know it's a hard thing to do and won’t happen just by saying it, but try it anyway, okay?"
Taehyung was silent for a while before saying, “Jeongguk.” He sighed, closing his eyes. "No one I know is even half as bright as you."
Jeongguk paused. What Taehyung said was so sudden and had nothing to do with what they were talking about. He didn’t understand it, but he couldn’t stop smiling. Every time Taehyung complimented him, he felt like he was only two seconds away from turning into slime.
"What does this have to do with our topic?" he asked playfully, his smile still on his face.
"I just felt like saying it. I wanted to say it."
Jeongguk stepped forward and placed a small kiss on Taehyung's lips. "Thank you." He didn’t know what else to say.
This time, Taehyung stepped forward and kissed him on the lips, just like Jeongguk had done before. "You're welcome."
Jeongguk froze for a moment when Taehyung kissed him so suddenly, but then he started laughing. He didn’t even know why he was laughing.
"Why are you laughing?" Taehyung asked, a soft smile appearing on his face.
"I don't know," Jeongguk said, waving a hand in front of his face as he struggled to speak between laughs. He was in a fit of laughter and couldn’t stop it. It reminded him of New Year’s with Taehyung.
Maybe it was because he was so happy.