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The bowl is. Ugly.
And not ugly in a cute kinda way either. Not in the way where the lopsidedness gives it character and charm. No, here its more like ugly in the ‘i-was-dropped-seven-times-and-licked-by-a-toddler’ kinda way.
Its a moldy brown color, with a small splotch of blue that looks a bit like that one never ending storm you can see on the face of Neptune.
The rim is sharp and slim on one side, and wide on the other. Complete with a small chip on what he can only assume is meant to be a spout, and a spot near the top on the inside where the glaze didn’t quite cover properly.
To top it all off, it comes with an equally ugly looking pair of crooked chopsticks that were somehow both square and round at the same time. It was an enigma in its own right. A truly, uniquely, marvelously bad piece of pottery.
“What do you think?” came the words he was most dreading since the event of this monstrosity being pressed into his awaiting palms.
They’d been married for a few months now. Their wedding had been a day unlike any other in his life. To look into those beautiful eyes and know they were his now and forever? He didn’t think there would ever be anything held so close to his heart.
He looked at those same hopeful eyes now, his head tilted at just the right angle to catch a bit of faded sunlight and sparkle.
It was as inspiring as it was confusing that the mesmerizing Shouto Todoroki could create something so, so bad.
Its not like the guy was good at things usually. Matter-of-fact he’d been banned from a cooking class for his abysmal knife skills, but he was just so… pretty. How he could produce something of this caliber was beyond Katsuki.
He drew in a breath and met those sparkling eyes that looked on with such pride in his creation, and he knew, in his soul, what he had to do.
Lie. Lie like his god damn life depended on it. Truth be damned, this was his husband’s first real hobby and he was not about to ruin it.
“Well… it’s something.” Damnit.
He saw the light begin to fade and his heart stuttered liked he’d just witnessed someone kill a kitten in cold blood.
“No! no, no, its beautiful princess- really the nerd’ll be jealous you gave it to me instead of him. Its just- um- did you have an inspiration for this. um. bowl?” He was pretty sure it was a bowl.
“Well- the instructor just said to make what felt right. This color just spoke to me” He smiled as he seemed to draw back into the memory. Nailed it.
“Well its definitely… bold.” The word came to him like a steak of genius from an art class he’d been in once what felt like a million years ago. He tried to think up more art words to throw into the burning pile that was this nightmare. Maybe the ‘juxtaposition’ could be his saving grace.
“The color reminded me of your eyes.”
He blinked his eyes a few times, and squinted at the bowl again just to be sure. Last he’d checked, which had been that morning in the mirror, his eyes were red.
Like bright red. Like his school teacher had asked his parents if any of his relatives had ever been part of a demonic cult type of red. It was hard to miss. Hell, even if he wasn’t a stickler for details he doubted he would’ve missed something like that.
“Mmm. My eyes are red.” Probing, but not criticizing. Middle ground.
He could’ve meant the very tiny spots near the edges that looked brown. A little. Kinda. Or maybe it was a metaphorical eye? Like an aura color?
“Well yeah- so is the bowl.”
Ah.
Well.
Hmm.
What a wrench to throw at a time like this.
“Just a random question- Have you ever been to an optometrist?” Todoroki’s eyes narrowed in an amused sort of confusion.
“Once or twice when I was a kid, I think. You know what my old man was like, my vision wasn’t exactly his top priority… do you not like the color?” This time a small pout accompanied the pained puppy dog look. Damn him and his pretty face.
“Its beautiful. I’ll use it for every meal till the day I croak.” Fuck.
“Really? I’m so glad you like it! I was going to give the matching mug to Izuku, but since you like it so much you can have both!” Double fuck.
“Is it the same- red?” He looked at the bowl this time while he asked his question.
“Almost. Its a little darker. The mug matches his eyes!” This had to be a joke.
He looked deeply into his lovers eyes for any hint of hidden amusement, any minuscule indication that this was just an elaborate prank. He came up empty handed.
How had he made it this far in life without realizing this. Surely someone had noticed. There had to have been a point where someone had come to this same realization.
“You were never planning to change careers to become a pilot right?”
He was color blind. He was color blind and no one had ever told him. He was color blind and Katsuki was going to have to be the one to break the news. All because of this stupid bowl that his pretty-boy husband hand made for him to ‘match his eyes’ that were most certainly not dog shit brown.
He missed when his life was uncomplicated and comprised only of winning and nothing else.
Maybe he could just get contacts. Pretend his eyes were brown and always had been. Go on ignoring this predicament as though it had never happened.
“I don’t think so- why?”
He needed to consult the nerd. Or maybe shitty hair. Someone else needed to be in on this it couldn’t just be him. Maybe they could have it be like an intervention. ‘You have a problem, we’re here to help.’
That could work. Probably.
“No reason. I have to go- buy a… horse.” Why? What did he do to deserve this? Fuck that stupid, ugly, puke brown bowl. Damnit.
He grabbed his keys from the bowl by the door, and purposefully did not acknowledge the bewildered look he was receiving. He did not allow the sudden thought that his husband had been driving around on the road while completely unaware of his color blindness stop him.
“A horse? Are you sure you’re O-“
He closed the door before he could dig himself any deeper into his hole of lies.
-
“Ei, he’s colorblind”
It’s much easier telling other people these things. Other people couldn’t give him a look that made him feel like he deserved to be flattened under a bus for his trespasses.
“Uh- nice to see you too? Who’s colorblind? Are you aware its 7am on a Sunday?” Easy. Those were easy questions that he knew the answer to.
“Shouto. He made me this bowl, its so ugly, but he told me he picked the color because it matched my eyes.” He pulled out his phone to pull up a picture of the aforementioned kitchen ware.
“You sure you’re not just bein’ harsh? You get a little perfectionist about things sometimes, I’m sure its not that-“
He held up the picture.
“Listen its only his first one! And hey, sometimes those glazes can be hard to work with I mean- maybe he meant for it to be less… whatever color that is?”
“He said it was red, Ei. With his whole chest. Looked me in the face and told me it matched my eyes. Then he said he also had a mug. I asked him what color that was. He said it was a darker red. Like the nerd’s eyes.”
He watched the brain-frying conclusion appear on his friends face in the same fashion he remembered it going through his own head.
“Theres no way no one noticed this. How could he have lived his entire life like this?” He felt a sense of justification fill him.
“I don’t know. Add it to the pile of reasons to hate that flaming asshole dad of his” A look of concern crossed his friends face.
“We need to bring someone else in on this. We can’t be the only ones to bear this burden.”
And thus began the process of informing the entire class group chat (minus Shouto) that his lovely husband was, in fact, colorblind.
The reactions were varied. Many went down the path of ‘how on earth could he have gotten this far without this knowledge,” but others went to the ‘Ohhhh that explains a lot’ path.
His phone lit up with a call from the nerd not long after.
“Kacchan, what do you mean he’s colorblind?” And once again, the tale starts anew.
“He gave me this butt-ugly bowl he made himself, in the grossest brown color you’ve seen in your life, and said it was the same red as my eyes.”
“Oh my god”
“I know”
“Well, what did you tell him??”
“um.”
“Kacchan you didn’t” Damn nerd.
“Well…”
“You didn’t tell him??” The accusatory tone had him bristling like an agitated porcupine.
“You think I wan’t to tell him he’s colorblind??? Have you seen his sad face before? Because I have. And a man can only handle it so many times before he breaks. I broke. Sue me.” He crossed his arms over his chest like he’d won.
“well you have to tell him- you know you have to-“ He rolled his eyes.
“I know. You fuckers are gonna help me do it. Because I. Cant. Do. It. I can’t tell him he’s colorblind, I can’t tell him the bowl is ugly, and I can’t face those sad puppy dog eyes!” He huffed and sat back on his hands as he waited for an answer.
“Fine. We’ll bring him some of that cake he likes from the one bakery and then tell him. He loves that cake maybe it’ll distract him” He did love that cake.
And it was always cute watching him eat it because he always managed to get whipped cream frosting on his nose like a fool. Hopefully he wouldn’t want to eat it in that stupid bowl. That would really be the cherry on top of this whole mess.
-
The cake did not go in the bowl.
It went on a plate. Also made by his wonderful husband. Also in a terrifying brown sludgy color that he was not sure was street legal.
“What inspired the color of that one?” He really shouldn’t poke at an already delicate situation, but he truly couldn’t help it at this point. His curiosity was beginning to outweigh his sensibility.
“Well, this one is obviously meant to be the color of a pine tree” Ah yes. Of course it was.
“Going for a more natural look?” It would be really funny at this point if it weren’t for the revelation that was about to occur.
“Well I was thinking of Touya when I made it. Sekoto peak had these beautiful trees, thats what I was going for” Ah. Triple fuck. Now the plate is special too.
“Todoroki- as your friends you know we care a lot about you and-“ On second thought, he picked the two worst people for this.
“Dont say it like that! You’re making it sound way worse than it is!” Kirishima cut Izuku off before he could finish the thought.
“Making what sound worse? Is this about my pottery? I know its a little lumpy but I tried my best.” And the damn puppy eyes returned with a vengeance.
His backup was stunned into silence, and he questioned what the point of bringing them in on this was.
“Listen, shortcake, its just- well-“ the pouty lower lip was out in full force.
“You only ever call me that when you’re giving me bad news- I knew you hated it. Why didn’t you just tell me before, why bring them with?” The tears welling up in his eyes were the last straw.
“You’re colorblind!” He shouted, before he could stop to regret the action or take it back.
Cats outta the bag now.
“Thats not a good coverup Katsuki- I think I’d know if I were colorblind.” The tears remained in full force, his cake set off to the side, untouched. He had a limited window of opportunity to fix this, and by god if he wasn’t going to take it.
“See I thought that too- except you thought that bowl was the same color as my eyes, and that plate was green, and I can only imagine what color you might’ve picked for the mug.” Smooth.
“It is the same color as your eyes though! Its like kiwi red” So much wrong with that statement. How could he have gotten this far in life.
“Shouto. Baby. Light of my life. Red apple of my very red eyes, kiwis are just brown. and so is that bowl, and also that plate.”
“Wait. You mean- I actually am colorblind?” Nailed it.
“Yes.” Catharsis.
“And you don’t… hate the bowl?” Puppy dog eyes.
“No! And anyone who says they do is dead to me” How many fucks is that? Quadruple fuck? Fuck.
“Oh i’m so glad!” An ear to ear smile that would put some of the best art to shame.
“Now. If you’ll excuse me- I’m going to enjoy my leftover tofu in my beautiful new bowl”
And he does. Painstakingly considering how this bowl has now become ingratiated into his life. He will never be rid of it. And its entirely his own damn fault. Fuck.
From now until death does take him he will have two things. First, a loving husband with the kindest heart and the prettiest face around, and second, this manure-esque bowl. Unfortunately, he wouldn’t have it any other way.