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A Study in Surrender

Chapter 14: Confessions & Councilors

Notes:

CW: Discussions of ableism/internalized ableism around sex but it's not all heavy

There's also a spoiler for the very ending of Season 2 in there but it's not that obvious but it's in there.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Viktor had never thought about all the virtues of sitting in the shower when it was his rickety stool in his apartment back in Zaun. Not until the possibilities were pointed out to him. Even then, it was too mundane to be anything more than a utility.

But sitting in Jayce’s Piltover shower, on a marble bench built into the wall with the warm steam and hot water on his legs post-orgasm— Viktor kind of got it. 

Watching Jayce stand fully nude in the stream of water as he scrubbed soap in his hair helped, too. 

“You look like you’re about to pass out on me,” Jayce said, but he was smiling. 

“I’ll get a second wind soon enough,” Viktor assured, eyes following a trail of suds that ran down Jayce’s chest. 

He was so distracted in following the course of water over the man’s body that it took him a moment to register that something was said.

“If I’m being honest,” Jayce said and hesitated to tilt his head back under the water. Viktor looked up at him. “I was expecting more flinching.”

“Mm,” he hummed, reaching for the soap and spare cloth, “So was I.”

Jayce was quiet again, Viktor suspected he had more to say but his face was currently underwater. 

Finally, he asked, “Did… something happen?”

“Nothing specific like you’re thinking,” Viktor answered, lathering. When he glanced up at Jayce this time, he definitely had that look. “Oh, you really want to hear this now?” 

In response, Jayce shrugged, reaching for the bar of soap as Viktor passed it to him and starting the process of finally scrubbing the marks of black that covered his arms. The odd disappointment that brought made Viktor smile to himself. 

It turned a bit rueful when he thought of how to begin.

“Like I said, it’s nothing specific,” he said and scrubbed at his own body as he spoke. “I had some old flames in my twenties but they all eventually settled down or died. Then my health declined and if I tried to meet anyone new…”

He exhaled through his nose and held up his hand, thumb jutting out. 

“They would either lose their damned heads if they heard a joint pop,” Viktor explained, exasperated at the memories, “And my joints pop quite often. You’ve heard them.”

“I have,” Jayce said, a slight smile on his face as he listened. “Your knees make some interesting sounds first thing in the morning.”

“Everyday! Yet no matter how much I would tell them I was fine, they wouldn’t believe me.” Viktor rolled his eyes. “It was either that, or—” he stuck out his pointer, “They’d take the opposite extreme and stroke my ego in ways that I didn’t fucking ask for.”

He shook his head and moved to scrub where sweat often built up around his waist. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jayce scrunch his nose at what Viktor was describing. 

“It got in my head, eventually, that maybe I’m not self aware enough if they think my ego needs stroking more than my dick,” he went on with a shrug, folding the wash cloth in his hands. “Either way, once I could no longer stand up straight without the crutch, it didn’t take me long to realize no one would listen to me anymore. It got old. I had a favorite at Babette’s who was great company. But eventually I was… too tired to go see him.”

Jayce was quiet after that, as Viktor expected. His brow pulled in a tight furrow as they both finished their task of washing themselves. When Viktor dared to glance at him, he saw the fight of frustration and indignation battling to come out. All that self righteousness that he struggled to keep to himself.

“What changed?” Jayce asked, finally, sitting down beside Viktor on the bench. “Was it really the crutch?”

Viktor shrugged, he supposed it was his turn to open up that day. “Who’s to say? But when it was just the cane… I bullied myself. So it’s easy to believe.”

He got lost in thought, old phantoms of shame and fear that he’d long pushed down bubbling to the surface. Viktor leaned forward to wash out the cloth under the stream of water, keeping his hands busy.

“It wasn’t just the sex— I knew there would be no survival, no work, if I didn’t hide the severity of my condition,” he said, biting out the words. He covered it with a shrug and looked back at Jayce. “To the rest of the world, the only good cripple is one who doesn’t make anyone else have to think about it.”

Jayce’s hand smoothed up his back, soothing. Comforting in a way Viktor didn’t know he would appreciate. He turned the cloth over in his hands, busying himself.

“Dumb question, maybe,” Jayce said and Viktor found himself smiling. He thought to himself that he would take whatever dumb questions Jayce had for him. “Do you think it would have gotten so bad if you didn’t push yourself?”

“It would have gotten this bad eventually,” Viktor said, waving it off as he leaned back to sit shoulder to shoulder. The water ran over their legs. “But all it took was two people who’d rather I rely on them than those old habits and it’s like I’m back from the dead. You do the math.”

When he turned to look at Jayce again, he could see the sadness there. Knew that the man never could stop himself from showing every one of his thoughts right on his face.

He reached up to trace his fingers along the line of Jayce’s jaw, along the texture of his beard, and pulled him into a light kiss. Felt Jayce’s sigh of relief fan over his face. 

Viktor broke the kiss to grab his jaw more firmly, pressing Jayce’s lips into a pucker and forcing eye contact. Jayce’s eyes widened.

“Just remember I may be breakable,” Viktor said, then let him go with a pat on his cheek, “but I know what I’m doing.”

“Got it,” Jayce said with a smile in his voice. “If I hear a hip pop, I’ll keep going unless you tell me.”

Viktor spread his hands pointedly. 

“Precisely,” he said, “My hip pops when I take a piss— Why make a big deal of it?”

The smile Jayce wore turned into a full bodied laugh as he reached to turn off the water. Then he was in front of Viktor, helping him up just because Viktor knew he liked doing it. Hands around his waist and all that affection in his bright eyes.

“If something’s wrong, I’ll tell you,” Viktor promised, running his hands over Jayce’s arms, “Just don’t try and fold me in half.”

Jayce shrugged, “If we ever want to get crazy, I’ll just ride you.”

Viktor felt his mind short circuit at the idea. “That is definitely an option.”


Jinx was sorting through the piles of supplies she’d scavenged from Silco’s old store houses. There had been a lot, more than she could go through in one day, so she’d settled with taking the bits and bobs she’d been needing.

Her music blared beside her, keeping her company in the warehouse. 

And then she wasn’t alone. Vi’s fist banging on the front before she entered, out of breath.

Jinx opened her mouth for a quip but Vi cut her off.

“Emergency meeting at The Drop,” she said, glancing around. “Where’s Viktor?”

“Still Topside on a date,” Jinx said and tossed the unsorted bag of stuff on the table. “I’m not intruding on that one.”

“Fine, we’ll fill him in later,” Vi said, “Let’s go.”

Jinx frowned, stomach twisting up with nerves and her brow going with it. 


Sevika’s voice sounded through her office in the last drop, “She wants us to send someone for the council tonight?”

Jinx picked at her fingers, legs crossed up on the old couch. The empty space beside her felt like a chasm.

“From what I heard, Councilor Medarda saw an opportunity and took it,” Vi explained, “Caitlyn couldn’t risk whether or not they’d humor it twice.”

Ekko sat in one of the chairs, palms pressed together against his lips as he thought. 

Vi paced.

Jinx was stressed.

“I thought we had more time for the miner’s strike,” Ekko said, leaning back, “People know we’re working together now and they want independence, not assimilation. Between Vi’s past and Viktor’s whole thing with Jayce, we don’t want to send the wrong message.”

“If I know Zaun— which I do,” Sevika interjected, “As long as we’re not fucking over our own people, they’re not gonna care who’s getting into a pair of Piltie briefs.”

Vi dropped down beside Jinx, rubbing her temple. “It’s still moving faster than I thought it was.”

“Where is Viktor anyway?” Sevika asked. 

“Date,” Jinx answered, “It was supposed to be his day off.”

Ekko sighed. “Bad fucking timing. I figured we’d be sending him up there.”

And at that, Jinx felt her gut plummet. 

“Viktor? On the council?” Vi said and Jinx saw the look she sent her way. “That's a long trip. He’d have to practically live up there.”

“He wouldn’t want that,” Jinx told them, told herself, “He doesn’t want to leave the Undercity.”

“Who else would we send?” Sevika asked.

Jinx raised her gaze to meet the woman across from her. 

The stark lack of response from the other two seemed to get the point through.

“You want me to go?” Sevika asked, glancing between them all.

Jerking her chin to gesture at Silco’s old desk, Jinx said, “You already took this chair. What’s one more promotion?”

“What about Ekko?” Sevika sked, nodding at him. “He’s already seen as a leader here.”

Ekko shook his head, meeting Vi look for look as she frowned.

“I’ve been in that room,” she said. “They won’t listen to someone who’s young and from the Undercity. We gotta pick one.”

From what Jinx could see, Sevika was starting to cave out of pure necessity. She scrubbed her hand down her face and lit up a cigarette. 

“You worked for Vander and you worked for Silco,” Jinx told her, “You even kept people together through the occupation. Everyone knows that no one fights harder for Zaun than you do.”

Sevika looked back at her, stoic. “They trust you, too.”

“I’m a fucking terrorist, Sevika, you know that’s a shit point,” Jinx sighed. “It’s gotta be you.”

Shoving away from the desk to lean back in her chair, Sevika took a ragged drag from her cigarette. She shook her head. 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” she said. Then looked around them all. “You all want this?”

“We’ve had our differences, but—” Vi shook her head “—Jinx is right.”

“Leveraging independence will be a lot easier if we had one of our own up there,” Ekko said. Then he turned to Jinx with his brow raised. “What would Viktor think?”

Jinx felt the nerves in her stomach settle just a little bit. Even more when she saw that same head tilt she was getting used to.

“He likes to say I’m right a lot,” she answered, then looked down where she’d all but stripped her nails of polish. She'd have to redo them, “Bet he’d say it now, too.”

Resignation passed over Sevika’s features as she ground out her cigarette with force. Pressing the filter into the ashtray Jinx had doodled on and nodding slowly. 

Jinx saw her swallow. And for the first time, she thought Sevika looked nervous. 

“Okay,” she said, shaking hair out of her face. “I guess I’m a fucking councilor then.”


Viktor laid on his back on Jayce’s bed, hands scrubbing over his face, fingers pulling down his eyelids, staring at the ceiling.

Jayce had a visitor. 

And Viktor wasn’t wearing fucking pants. 

“I’m sorry, I’m just sort of freaking out.”  

Viktor heard Caitlyn’s voice through the closed bedroom door. 

“It’s okay, what’s going on?”

Jayce’s voice, calm and reassuring. Attentive. 

Viktor wanted to be mad but knew that if it was Jinx, he wouldn’t think twice about kicking Jayce off of him in a heartbeat. Not if she sounded like that.  

“Do you have anything to drink?” Caitlyn’s voice started, “I feel like I’m about to— Is that a bite mark?”

Resigned, Viktor rolled onto his side and sat up, it was about to take a while.

“Wait— Viktor’s here?” Caitlyn’s voice sounded panicked. That was odd, even if she was embarrassed. “He’s not in Zaun?”  

Then Jayce was opening his bedroom door, apologetic look on his face.

Moments later, Viktor was dressed in some of Jayce’s spare clothes and sitting across from Caitlyn Kiramman on those ridiculous couches. 

She had her head in her hands.

“I am so sorry,” she said, fingers pushing through her hair and destroying her ponytail. “I didn’t realize this was date night.”

Jayce brought them drinks, setting down Caitlyn’s on the table. Viktor accepted his with a murmured thank you.

“It’s fine, Cait,” Jayce said and sat next to Viktor, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. Viktor made a face and reminded himself that he understood. He would do the same for Jinx. He’d bite his tongue. “You look like you’re about to cry.”

“I didn’t know Viktor wasn’t in Zaun,” she said, shaking her head and reaching for her drink, “The timing is all wrong—”

“What happened?” Viktor asked, tense. 

Caitlyn looked up at him, sucking on her teeth. “We need a councilor by tonight. Vi should be delivering the news now.”

“Tonight?” Viktor sat forward fast, “I thought we were waiting—”

“Councilor Medarda’s better at this than I am,” Caitlyn said and Viktor saw her hands shake as she took a sip of her drink. “She said it was time and I couldn’t argue.”

“Wait— What are we talking about right now?” Jayce asked, lost, looking between them. 

Suddenly Caitlyn had a lot more confidence when she sent a scathing look to Jayce. He shrank back like he could tell he was in trouble.

“How does it feel being left out of the loop, Jayce?” She said. It was mostly teasing, like usual, but Viktor could tell that there was very real hurt there. “If there weren’t more pressing matters at hand, I’d demand to know just how many laws you’ve broken this year.”

“Uhh—”

Viktor waved off her worry. “They know who my choice would be, I’m positive. —But I’m glad to be aware that it’s happening.”

He didn’t mention the surge of anxiety he felt at the thought of not being there for Jinx. But he trusted that she would handle herself fine. She had other people there, now. 

“Go ahead with your interrogations,” Viktor said, settling back. “Don’t let me stop you.”

Jayce sent him a betrayed look, which was particularly entertaining considering he still didn’t know what was going on. 

Caitlyn’s ring flew across the room again, ricocheting off of Jayce’s skull. 

“Ow! What was that for?!”

“For lying to me!” Caitlyn said, looking more than a little sad, the teasing was gone. Viktor suspected that he was witnessing a sort of breaking point as Caitlyn's voice got smaller the more she spoke. “Or— For keeping secrets. I thought we were best friends.”

Viktor raised his eyebrows into his drink. It was impressive how the woman kept her back so straight even while turning another ring over in her fingers. Fidgety.

“We are,” Jayce said. And Viktor thought he sounded sad. He felt like, maybe, this wasn’t a conversation he was meant to see. “Caitlyn… What—?”

“I know,” she bit out. “I know Viktor’s close with Jinx. Really close.”

“Oh.” Jayce answered, pursing his lips around the word as he swirled his drink. “That.”

As fascinated as Viktor sometimes was in these moments of Caitlyn's humanity, he took that as his queue to leave. 

He leaned forward to set his drink on the table with a click.

“Do you need anything else from me… Caitlyn?” He asked, testing. 

She sent him the glare that he was expecting, mouth pursed like she wanted to be angry. He imagined that at some point, not long ago, she could even be outright cruel. 

For now, Viktor watched as she pulled together to be cordial. As much as she could be.

“No, that will be all, Viktor,” she said, pressing her lips together to hold back anything more. It was so distinct that she almost choked on the words when she added, “Sorry, about date night.”

“At this point, we’re unfortunately used to it,” Viktor sighed and Jayce reached for his hand as he went. Looking back at his confused eyes, Viktor squeezed his hand. “I got to deal with my own fall out—” 

He aimed a glance back at Caitlyn, grimacing. It was the closest to an apology as he was going to give. She looked incredulous. He had a feeling he would be receiving that look a lot now.

“—It’s your turn,” he said back at Jayce, “I’m going to bed.”

And if Jayce was disappointed, he only let it show a little. Understanding clear in the set of his brow, grateful even. 

They’d always been in agreement in their relationship about this part. 

The four of them caught up inextricably in tangled and distorted threads and knots. A microcosm of all that had to be untangled between the two cities. 

It wasn’t what he signed up for when he went to The Last Drop so many months ago. 

But there was no getting out of it now. 

Notes:

I wasn’t INTENDING to cockblock again this chapter but I couldn’t make the transition into sex work for the life of me. The last scene was improvised. But this mostly wraps up Viktor's character arc tbh there's just a few bits left for him which makes me so sad but idk I really enjoyed writing it.

But it's okay Jinx still has to self actualize. Next chapter has lots of Timebomb((:

[One day I will go back and edit "council/councilor" to all be consistent. But not today.]