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Honestly, the Matsunos genuinely had no idea who of the six of them really started this whole harebrained scheme.
That is to say, aside from Choromatsu–well, initially, since deep down inside he really wasn’t that much better than the rest of his identical-looking brothers anyway–nobody raised any true objections to Jyushimatsu sneakily raiding Professor Dekapan’s lab and bringing home a bottle that he thought was something else entirely, apparently not even bothering to check the highly visible label before snagging it.
Or when Karamatsu actually meticulously read the label of the Super-Duper Shrinking Potion out loud to everyone present in their room.
Or when, after taking a brief moment to think, a snickering Osomatsu proposed using it for nefarious, borderline criminal purposes–such as this one, right now.
Taking deep breaths, each of them drank a portion of the yucky-tasting liquid from the bottle, swallowing it all down the best they could without risking upchucking it back out all over the floor messily. Since it’d been a few hours since their last meal, the effects of the potion were almost immediate; the boys found their bodies rapidly dropping in inches, second by second. All of their loosening clothes would prove to be too big for them.
Soon they all found themselves standing no more than two inches tall, buried in giant piles of empty hoodies and pants (and white underpants). Osomatsu in particular was practically elated that this awful-tasting stuff actually worked, and now their nefarious plan could finally come to fruition.
Being the perverted losers they were, they all went along with this devious plan no matter what with no further complaints. So here they were now, inside of Totoko’s home, hidden in her very, very pink bedroom. Always the pretty and beautiful–and short-tempered–girl she was ever since their childhood, the boys all wanted to do some discreet lady-watching.
Alas, hiding under her bed was not all cracked up to be; that is, when you’re all two inches tall, those once-little dust bunnies now felt like being surrounded by motionless clouds of dust storms. All in pitch-black, chilly darkness that just completely shrouded your naked little bodies.
“I’m freezing my ass off!” whined Todomatsu. The youngest had his arms wrapped around his body and his little form was shivering.
“Shh! Quiet!” shushed Karamatsu.
“Ugh, when is Totoko-chan gonna be here?” bemoaned Jyushimatsu, throwing his head back.
Ichimatsu nodded. “Yeah, we’ve been waiting here in this dumb spot for ages. I’m bored.”
“Boredom’s not the main issue here! How do you know she won’t ever notice us?” snapped Choromatsu.
Osomatsu gave his younger brother a playful swat on the back. “Ha ha! We’ll be fine! We’re small like mice!” he boasted.
“If we were at our regular sizes under her bed, we’d totally be spotted easily,” Todomatsu pointed out.
“And then she’d kill us,” added Ichimatsu, shivering a bit.
BAM! BAM!
The six froze. A door was slammed open right before it was slammed back shut just as quickly. They heard an aggravated, high-pitched sigh.
Totoko was here. The floorboards (and them) shook with every stomp she took. The stomping finally ended when she sat down at her mirror.
“Ugh, it’s hopeless!” she groaned. “No matter how hard I try to climb up the popularity ladder, everyone else always tells me that I’m shallow and that I stink like rotting fish!” She pounded her fists down on the table. “Well, none of that’s MY fault!” Totoko huffed and puffed out her cheeks like some spoiled grade-schooler.
The boys all gazed at her with their lips tightly pursed. Unfortunately, the giant “clouds” of dust were finally getting to Choromatsu, and at the worst moment possible.
The middle son opened his mouth and squinted his eyes. “Ahhh… aaahhhhhhh…”
Everyone around him noticed and began to panic. “Shhh! No no! Shhh!” They all tried to stop him.
But despite their best rush-job efforts, Choromatsu couldn’t hold it back any longer.
“ACHOO! ACHOO!”
Totoko stopped her preening. She sat up straight, and looked around the room.
“Hmmm? Am I hearing things?” she wondered aloud.
“Oh shit,” the six squeaked simultaneously.
Totoko stood up from chair and began to walk towards her bed, where she was growing evermore certain the source of the noise came from. Her stomping, heavy bare footsteps approached closer and closer, noises changing from feet on wood to feet on carpet, until they stopped only a few centimeters from their hiding spot.
Totoko bent down slightly, and pushed aside the three pillows that were on the floor parallel to her bed. Then she lifted up the sheets with two fingers, and the boys were then greeted with the massive eyes from her large face staring back at them.
The woman jumped back in shock and horror. “AAHHHH!!” she shrieked.
“AAHH!!” The six men shrieked back, all clinging to each other.
Totoko gasped, then her initial fright quickly melted away into that of pure white-hot rage. Her face contorted, and she bared her teeth as her mind put two and two together. “You…!” she snarled.
“Totoko-chan, this is a huge misunderstanding!” began Osomatsu, waving his hands in the air.
“Yeah, yeah! We totally weren’t spying on you or anything like that, uh-uh!” protested Jyushimatsu as he furiously shook his head.
“Shut the fuck up, Jyushimatsu-niisan!” shouted Todomatsu, bopping his dimwitted older brother on the head.
Choromatsu quickly dropped down to a dogeza position on the cold floor. “Please forgive us!” he pleaded.
Karamatsu began to turn to leave, taking baby steps away from her. “We’ll go home now, buh-bye!” he exclaimed.
Ichimatsu said and did absolutely nothing, completely frozen with fear.
However, something strange happened. Instead of flying further into her rage, Totoko just stopped and… began smiling? “Actually…” A wicked, evil smile spread across her face. “I’ve got just the perfect punishment for you little shit NEETs…” She began cackling as she reached down towards them.
The Matsunos tried to run, but she was just too quick. With little effort, Totoko entrapped them all in her hand, and picked them up. The six men wailed and squirmed with all of their might, but her gargantuan fist was just much too powerful.
Totoko made her way out of her bedroom carrying the six tiny Matsunos in her tightly-closed fist, still cackling like a wicked witch.
The petite Mastunos found themselves trapped in a tall glass jar sitting on a coffee table in her living room. This (by their standards, anyway) skyscraper of a jar was sealed shut with a lid that had been clearly punctured roughly with breathing holes.
Totoko had left them all alone. She of course never told them where she’d be going or how long she’d be out for.
Next to that glass jar was a tall bottle of sugary black tea. An unpleasant sense of foreboding ran through them every time they looked at it.
Their hearts leapt up to their throats at the sudden sound of a front door being unlocked. They already had a feeling of who it was, but they were still terrified out of their wits when Totoko’s massive frame emerged from the doorway.
After kicking her shoes off, she made her way into the living room. She was carrying some sort of small, square, flat white box.
Totoko’s thudding footsteps approached the table. Sighing and turning around her big body to plop her butt down on the couch with a BOOM, she set the square box down on top of the table, to which the brothers noticed the Pizza Hut logo plastered on the lid.
Totoko’s hands reached down and lifted up the box’s lid. The boys could easily see (and even more certainly smell) that it was a personal-sized pepperoni pizza that had been neatly cut into six equal slices.
The giant woman stood up, picked up the jar into the air with one hand, and with her other took the holey lid off with a pop. She then tilted the jar upside-down and shook it vigorously. The six men all hurtled out into the air screaming, and came to crash landings on top of the pizza.
SPLAT! Whether by coincidence or sheer cartoony precision, each boy landed on their own individual slice. The miniature Matsunos found themselves completely overwhelmed by the molten hot greasiness of the cheeses, meats, and red sauces. They sure liked pizza themselves, but not this much!
“There you all go,” Totoko sat right back down on the couch. An evil grin spread across her face. “I’m starving, and I can’t wait to finally turn all of you little perverts to shit,” she sneered.
“TOTOKO-CHAN WE’RE SORRY WE’RE SORRY WE’RE SORRY!!” they bawled, snot and tears running down their pathetic little faces.
Totoko had a deadpan expression on her face as she made mocking mouth movements with her hand. “Wah wah wah, blah blah blah. You’re just upset that you got caught.”
And with that, she menacingly reached down to pick up her first slice of pizza; of course she went for the one with the eldest helplessly sitting on top of it.
“No no no no! Put me down!!” cried Osomatsu as he was being lifted up.
Totoko brought the slice with him close to her face, then closed her eyes while she inhaled the savory smell deeply. She let out a contented sigh, then opened her eyes back up. “God, you smell so good. All of you,” she said. “Too bad it’s not gonna last forever,” she sadistically added. Totoko opened her mouth wide and brought the pizza towards it.
Tiny Osomatsu continued wailing and thrashing as he was inched closer and closer to her foul-smelling, slobbery maw. Her sharp white teeth were ready to tear everything apart. He tried to scramble away from the encroaching darkness, to no avail.
“AAAHHHHHH!! MAMAAAA!!” were the last words able to be heard from him as Totoko’s jaws snapped shut on top of him and the entire pizza slice.
GLURK! After some slight chewing from her, Osomatsu and the whole pizza slice disappeared as a moving bulge down Totoko’s throat.
“OSOMATSU-NIISAAAAAAAAN!!” the other five men bellowed.
Totoko sighed and licked her lips. She was far from done. “You’re next.” She then reached for the slice with Karamatsu on top of it.
The second son cried desperate tears from underneath his black sunglasses. “No no no, don’t do this, please! I’ll do anything you want!! I’ll clean your abode! I’ll cook you supper!” he begged.
Totoko wordlessly put his slice in her mouth.
GULP! Afterwards, a burp escaped her. Without excusing herself, Totoko reached for her third slice.
“Oh, Totoko-chan, please!” pleaded Choromatsu, his lip quivering. “I’ve been to all of your concerts! I’ve played all of your songs on loop each day of my life! You wouldn’t dare eat your biggest fan, would you?!”
Totoko narrowed her eyes at him, and she just snorted. “Well, that just makes you pathetic.”
GLURK!
Sweating profusely, Ichimatsu was completely frozen from fright. His eyes wide and pupils tiny, he only barely sputtered the tiniest of whimpers from his pursed lips as his slice was brought up to her mouth.
“...Well? Any last words from you, worm?” snarled the giant woman.
After a pause, Ichimatsu finally spoke up. “Can… can I at least get to say goodbye to all of my cats, first?”
A pause.
“No.”
GULP! Her once flat stomach was now gaining a visible bulge. But she wasn’t done yet.
Jyushimatsu fought from under the gooey trap of molten cheese, but that didn’t deter Totoko from picking up his slice.
“NOOOOO! LET ME GOOOOOO! I STILL HAVE SO MANY BASEBALL GAMES TO PLAY IN!!” he yelled.
GULP! Totoko’s patience was clearly starting to run thin. She was finally down to the last slice of pizza.
Totty was terrified out of his wits, and just as infuriated . But he steeled himself the best he could. He bit his lip to prevent the growing lump in his throat from causing even more tears to spill out from his eyes.
“Y-you fucking BITCH!” he spat.
Totoko raised an eyebrow as she abruptly stopped the tip of the slice just mere millimeters from her lips. “Hmm?!”
“Well, now that you’ve eaten everybody else, at least spare me!” Totty began. “Unlike my shithead older brothers, I actually have friends and a job that I–!”
Totoko shoved him and the last slice of pizza into her mouth without any further hesitation. Todomatsu found himself trapped in a dark, wet, smelly cavern that was surrounded by massive white guillotines.
“Y’all talk too much,” she uttered with her mouth full.
GLURK!
Todomatsu found himself ricocheted down her squishing throat along with the pulpy pizza mush. He kept going down helplessly until he reached a valve. With a cry, he and the pizza were ejected into her stomach. They landed into the smelly, hot acid pool, and the human managed to thrash his way to the surface.
“Ew, ew, ew!” Todomatsu whined. His eyes burned from the heat and stink, and he could hardly make out his location properly.
“Totty!” his older brothers cried out. At the sounds of their voices, Todomatsu gingerly opened his eyes up and saw the other five frazzled Matsunos in nearby areas of her tummy all staring right at him.
Todomatsu nearly vomited when he also saw blobs of half-digested, mashy pepperoni, processed cheese, and bread surrounding everyone. “Oh, this is a nightmare!” he groaned. The youngest then pointed an accusing finger directly at the oldest. “And it’s all your fault, Osomatsu-niisan!”
Osomatsu got very angry. “Well… the next time I suggest that we spy on Totoko-chan like this: DON’T LISTEN!” he shouted.
Jyushimatsu threw himself at one edge of Totoko’s stomach. “Heave! Heave!” he yelled with every smack. The fifth brother slammed himself into the stomach wall over and over again. But, no matter how he tried, he just kept bouncing straight off of the slippery surface and back into the acid pool again.
“It’s no use, Jyushimatsu,” sighed Karamatsu.
Ichimatsu had already long resigned to his fate. “We’re good as dead,” he said as he let himself sink into the acid pool.
Choromatsu shook his head, clinging on to a last sliver of hope as he yelled, “No no no, maybe if we all try hitting hard enough, we can make her sick!”
Suddenly, there was a sound of gushing liquid from above. It got louder as it approached closer and closer. In no time, the stomach’s valve opened up again, and a deluge of cold black tea poured down on top of them.
“HELP! HELLLLP! HEEEELLLLPPP!!” The Matsunos all wailed as they tried to escape the incoming flood of fluids.
But there was nowhere to run. Their screams turned into helpless glubs and gurgles as the tsunami of tea entered their lungs, then… silence.
Totoko let out a sigh once she pried the partially-drained bottle away from her mouth and put it back on the coffee table. She put a hand on her round belly, and rubbed her palm around in circles; ten seconds of rubbing later, she opened her mouth up wide to let loose a loud, bassy belch that echoed around the living room.
“Haaaahhh… boy, was that good!” Totoko laughed.
She proceeded to lay back on the couch to let her full tummy do its thing, churning and gurgling away to its own melodic tune.
8 hours later…
“Hoeeeeeee…”
Professor Dekapan furrowed his brow and sighed after the six, regular-sized, still barenaked Matsunos finally finished telling their long, long story of what happened.
Or rather: the six, regular-sized, still barenaked Matsuno ghosts. From the moment their translucent souls floated out one-by-one from the bottom of that wretched toilet of hers, they vowed to never get into any kind of trouble again.
“Sorry, Dekapan-san…” Choromatsu apologized on everyone’s behalf.
“I’ll go and find the formula that’ll help restore your physical forms…” The rotund professor turned around and disappeared into another room.
Some sick part of them wanted to just leave the fucking place right now and go straight back to Totoko’s house; after all, now that they were ghosts, they’d be able to get their revenge by haunting her at night.
But of course, the rational parts of their minds realized they really shouldn’t bother with pursuing hopeless vengeance. And furthermore, none of them ever wanted to hear the word ‘plan’ again for a very long time.