Archive of Our Own ^beta

“This weekend?” Jeonghan’s brows furrowed, and even though he tried to avoid it, he was sure his mother could hear some of the irritation that bubbled up in his voice – leave it to her to tell him her plans to throw their annually Christmas family dinner two days beforehand.

As Jeonghan was half-heartedly listening to his mother’s monologue about the dinner she was planning to cook this year, he noticed Seungcheol entering the kitchen. Huh, he didn’t even hear the other coming home from work.

Seungcheol looked at him questioningly when he saw the phone in his hand, mouthing your eomma?.

Jeonghan nodded, suppressing a sigh. He loved his mother, of course he did, but it was Thursday evening and all he wanted to do was to eat the kimchi fried rice he made for Seungcheol and himself and then curl up on their couch, munch the Christmas Cookies they made last week, and watch the new episodes of the drama Seungcheol and him were currently watching despite neither of them liking it, but having too much fun trash-talking the main characters’ stupid actions.

And now, with his mother announcing her plans to him, he couldn’t even look forward to the weekend to rot on the couch and watch all the dramas he wanted to.

“Is Subin coming over as well?”, he finally interrupted her while sending Seungcheol grateful looks as the other took it upon himself to occasionally stir the pan with their dinner.

“Of course! And Taewoo is coming, too.” Jeonghan rolled his eyes at the excitement he heard in the tinny voice of his mother. It wasn’t quite fair of him to do so. Taewoo, his little sister’s fiancée, was a nice guy. Jeonghan had already met him a couple times before, and while it left a sour taste in his mouth to see his little sister get married, he couldn’t deny the love in the man’s eyes every time he was looking at her, hanging onto every word she said.

As far as Jeonghan knew, their parents hadn’t met Taewoo all too often yet, but being a doctor he instantly became their mother’s favorite.

However, ever since they announced their wedding plans, his parents had been calling him at least once a week just to ask him about his romantic love life. And every week, they ended up telling him the same thing:  Jeonghan wasn’t getting any younger (having celebrated his thirtieth birthday just two months ago) and how finding gay men in a country like theirs was way too hard, why won’t you go on a date with the new neighbor’s daughter? Maybe you’ll take a liking to her!

Jeonghan couldn’t bring himself to be offended with these kind of questions, knowing they were coming from a parent’s place of worry and love. To their credit, they didn’t react all too badly when he first told them about his sexuality back when he graduated high school. But typical for people their age, they also didn’t fully understand the concept of homosexuality.

So, him being single in his thirties, led them to think it’s because he likes men, and not because he’s simply too tired to do any socializing and getting to know someone after work. With Seungcheol as his roommate since their college years, he had also never felt lonely, not feeling the need to quickly find a partner. And what for anyway? They couldn’t get married in this country nor would they be able to start a family. He simply felt no rush, satisfied with what he already had.

“Are you bringing someone, too?”, his mother asked hopefully, and Jeonghan should have expected the question at this point. He bit his lips before he could answer with his usual no, always feeling slightly ashamed for letting her down yet another time.

“Eomma…”, he stalled, trying to hide his face behind his bangs while starring down at the kitchen floor. When he squinted his eyes, he could see leftover crumbs from the cookies they had baked last week. They really had to vacuum clean again, he thought.

Seungcheol, who had already begun to set the table, sent him a look full of sympathy – by now knowing how his phone calls with his parents went.

“I just want you to find someone so you don’t have to be alone all the time.” But I’m not, Seungcheol is right here, he wanted to say, but he knew it wouldn’t be enough for his mother.

He couldn’t place what urged him to do what he next did, perhaps it was still some of the shame he felt, but the motivation more likely came from a place of annoyance. “Actually, Eomma, I’m seeing someone at the moment.” His voice carried a conviction that Jeonghan himself was surprised by. He vaguely felt Seungcheol’s confused gaze on him. “It’s still fresh. I think it’s too early for the whole meeting-the-parents bit.”

He winced at his mother’s excited squeal. “Really? You have to tell me all about them!” Him, he corrected in his mind. “What’s their name? What are they working as? Do I know them?”

Overwhelmed by all the questions, he did the first best (stupid) thing that came to mind. “You know him. It’s Seungcheol.”

The sound of glass shattering on the ground filled the kitchen, almost making Jeonghan shriek in surprise and when he looked up, he saw Seungcheol looking like a deer caught in the headlights, mouth agape and eyes wide open, his hands still hovering over the kitchen table where he must have accidently knocked the cup over.

Jeonghan observed the scene with a confused expression, already turning around to grab the dustpan and brush from the cupboard behind him to hand them over to Seungcheol, so he wouldn’t get the idea to pick the glass up with his fingers.

Only when Jeonghan’s fingertips brushed Seungcheol’s while handing him the equipment, he realized what he just did. In front of Seungcheol no less, who must have pieced the conversation between him and his mother together.

He felt his cheeks heating up, but to conceal his own surprise about his reckless decision of lying to his mother and directly involving Seungcheol like that, he just quirked an eyebrow while the corners of his mouth lifted to form a grin, challenging Seungcheol to say anything.

It seemed to work. Seungcheol just shook his head at him, stunned, before he bent down to collect the glass pieces.

He’d talk to him after his phone call, Jeonghan figured.

The voice of his mother on the other line interrupted his thoughts. “Jeonghan-ah, are you still there?”

He hummed.

“I just wanted to tell you that you should bring Seungcheol over this weekend. He already knows us, anyway.”

Jeonghan bit his lips, trying to figure out how to get out of the situation without dragging Seungcheol further into it. “You know it’s not the same. And I don’t even know if he has time, it’s so soon.” He did his best to convince her to just let it go (knowing Seungcheol didn’t actually have anything planned for the weekend, both of them preferring to stay in most of the time).

“Ask him, please.” His mother pleaded. An uncomfortable feeling settled in his stomach, realizing how important it was to her.

He sighed, defeated. “I’ll ask him, but I can’t promise anything.”

After reassuring her three more times he’d really follow through with telling his ‘boyfriend’ about the Christmas dinner, he was finally able to hang up. By now, Seungcheol finished cleaning up the floor, as well as setting the table and having dinner ready.

When Jeonghan dropped his phone on the kitchen counter with an exhausted sigh, Seungcheol was already looking at him with an expectant look, amused. “I didn’t know we were dating, Hannie.” His friend grinned at him, silently making fun of him and his quick-thinking to get out of the situation.

Jeonghan grimaced, but he was also secretly glad Seungcheol didn’t seem to be too upset by the small lie. Apparently he really just had been surprised earlier, when he knocked the cup over.

“About that… you don’t want – by any chance – come visit my parents this weekend?”, he asked and surprised himself with how hopeful he sounded. The other seemed to pick up on the tone, knowing him too well by now.

“Do you want me to?” Seungcheol asked back, eyeing him thoughtfully.

Jeonghan shrugged helplessly with his shoulders, not knowing an answer to the question even though it should be obvious. Of course, he should tell his mother that their invitation was too late and Seungcheol already had made plans for himself, and then – after some time – just tell them they’d broken up.

But, above all, Jeonghan was tired (and a bit petty, too). Tired of all the questions his parents keep asking him about his love life, tired of them pretending he might date a nice woman in the future, and also tired of his parents believing he couldn’t live a fulfilling and happy life with a man by his side.

He wanted to prove them wrong, but using Seungcheol as his fake boyfriend would be selfish.

Seeing him struggle to come up with an answer, Seungcheol softened his demeanor, casually leaning against their dinner table while sending him a kind smile. “You know, I wouldn’t mind to accompany you to your parents this weekend.” He shrugged his shoulders as if it wasn’t a big deal for him, maybe it wasn’t. Jeonghan had trouble to figure out how Seungcheol felt about the whole thing, but he knew him well enough to know that the other told the truth.

“You’d be willing to play boyfriends in front of my family?” Jeonghan narrowed his eyes at him, still skeptic.

“Why not? It’s not like your parents would be expecting us to kiss in front of them, so I think we could be convincing enough”, Seungcheol said nonchalantly.

Jeonghan shuddered at the thought of his parents witnessing them both kissing – not because it’s him and Seungcheol, but it’s two men kissing. So far, they had been accepting (or tolerating?) enough of his sexual orientation, but to actually see such intimacy, which is already rare enough between straight couples as well, might send them to an early grave.

“Besides”, Seungcheol continued all confident and smug, “I’m great boyfriend material.”

Jeonghan laughed, caught off guard, but it wasn’t untrue what he said. After being best friends and roommates for about ten years now, Jeonghan had been able to see most sides of Seungcheol throughout the years, having been at the receiving end of his affections more times than he could count, making him all the more surprised as to why Seungcheol was still single.

Even if one didn’t know Seungcheol just yet, no one could deny how handsome he was and paired with his well-paying job he should be having suitors left and right – men and women. And different to himself Seungcheol actually participated in some of the drinking rounds with his coworkers after working hours, so it wasn’t like he didn’t get to know new people outside of their group of friends.

Jeonghan shook himself out of his thoughts, for now just feeling lucky he still had Seungcheol for himself as selfish as it sounded. It would be a bummer if he couldn’t live with his best friend anymore, obviously, he thought.

“Okay, then let’s do it.” Jeonghan had a mischievous glint in his eyes, smirking, which would normally make Seungcheol visibly suspicious. This time, however, Seungcheol grinned back. For once, he wasn’t on the receiving end of Jeonghan’s devilish side. No, this time, he was an accomplice.

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆🕯🕯⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

Two days later shortly after lunch, the both of them found themselves in Jeonghan’s car, two overnight bags hastily thrown onto the bags seats. Jeonghan was in the driver’s seat, maneuvering them both out of the busy city that Seoul was while Seungcheol managed the playlist. Jeonghan’s parents lived in a more rural area, but it luckily wasn’t too far away from Seoul.

Jeonghan couldn’t say he was thrilled to stay the night at their house. The cold winter weather tended to seep deep into the house so that Jeonghan had to make sure to always pack his thickest clothes when he visited them, unless he wanted to shiver for the next twenty-four hours straight and make it everybody’s problem.

He had warned Seungcheol as well, but the other just chuckled, reminding Jeonghan how he naturally ran hot. He knew, of course, because it actually was one of his favorite features about Seungcheol. When the two of them cuddled up on their couch he used it to his full advantage, always making Seungcheol shriek in a high pitched voice when his cold hands or feet accidently brushed against the other.

He still had been so kind to warn him about the temperature as an old house with barely functioning heating wasn’t really comparable to the standard apartments in Seoul.

Otherwise from that they barely had talked about the weekend trip and the entailing elephant in the room in form of their pretend relationship. Jeonghan had been avoiding the topic ever since the phone call with his mother, still not entirely sure why Seungcheol even agreed to it, and, for some reason, he was nervous. He couldn’t tell why, though.

However, he figured that they would still have enough time to talk about it and create any sort of plan in the car on their way to his parents’ house. Jeonghan glanced at the navigation system. It told him he still had about an hour until they’d arrive. He gulped, biting his lips and peeling of the dry skin. He really had to get a grip and get it over with. There wasn’t much to talk about anyway.

After the both of them had sung along to the ballads Seungcheol had put on at the start of their journey for about an hour, their voices cracking from time to time but still giving their heart and soul into their performance, things had calmed down. Seungcheol had his head rested against the window with his eyes closed, but Jeonghan knew he wasn’t sleeping. When he glanced at him every now and then, he could see the other silently mouthing the lyrics to the song that was playing at the moment, his fingers tapping his thighs to the rhythm.

Jeonghan cleared his throat, trying to get the other’s attention. From the corner of his eyes he saw the way Seungcheol turned his body towards him, his fingers halting. Jeonghan could feel Seungcheol’s eyes on him, waiting for him to say what he wanted. Jeonghan avoided to look at the other, telling himself it was because of the ice on the road that he had to be beware of.

“So, uhm, I think we still have to talk about some of details of our relationship.” Jeonghan licked over his lip, tasting iron from the blood that must have gathered there when he was biting his lips. “It would be suspicious if they asked some questions and we’d give them different answers.” His fingers were tapping against the steering wheel, much faster than the song playing should allow him. The irony of their behavior having switched didn’t pass over him.

Seungcheol just hummed in agreement, not taking his eyes of him. “I don’t think we have to come up with a lot. Your parents already know me. The only missing things is how we suddenly started dating after all the years we already have known each other and even lived together, are living together.” Seungcheol’s voice lowered when he muttered the last sentence and Jeonghan imagined the thoughtful look that must have spread on his face, knowing how the other looked like when he got into his own head.

Jeonghan was a bit confused about his observation, but nodded along to Seungcheol’s input. His fingers calmed down as he thought about what the other said, trying to come up with ideas. What would his mother be the most curious about to know about their relationship? (Jeonghan didn’t worry about his father. He barely inquired about other people’s life, getting all his information about other people from his mother as she was much more into gossip than him.)

“So, after all this time, who asked whom?” Jeonghan asked, pretty sure that would the first question being thrown at them.

He saw Seungcheol grinning at him when he glanced at the other for a moment. “Well, that’s easy. You.”

“Me?” Jeonghan pointed at himself with one finger, lifting one eyebrow – almost offended at the fast answer – as he looked at the other for a second longer than he probably should, eyes immediately switching back on the road when he realized.

“Obviously.” Jeonghan felt the eye roll from next to him. “I’m only sitting here right now because of you.” Fair point. It could have come across as accusatory, but Jeonghan heard the amusement in the other’s voice.

 “Okay. And why?”, he mused. His finger resumed the tapping as he thought about a plausible reason, but they stopped when an idea popped into his head. His eyes narrowed, the corner of his mouth quirking. “I guess I just couldn’t live on any longer with your obvious pining, so I released you from your endless suffering by giving you a chance.”

He cackled when Seungcheol spluttered, his friend having abruptly taken on an upright position in his seat. He laughed louder after he saw the blush that spread across Seungcheol’s cheeks and the pout that his plush lips formed.

“Jeonghan-ahhh,” he whined, “don’t throw me under the bus like that.” Seungcheol mumbled the sentence into his hands that had come up to hide his blush behind them.

“Do you have a better idea? You wanted me to ask you out.”, he asked with a smile on his face, happy with the outcome.

“And why couldn’t it possibly be you who had been pining for me for years?” Seungcheol tried to argue, pointing a finger at him.

Jeonghan just shook his head without looking away from the road. “Nuh-uh, maybe it would fly if we were visiting your family, but Eomma and Subin are far too invested in my love life, more than I’d like them to. They would have known if I hid my feelings from you for years,” he explained with a matter-of-fact tone.

Seungcheol slumped back into his seat, shoulders sagging and accepting his defeat. “Alright, then. We go with your plan,” he agreed with a sigh. “Do we have to take anything else into account?”

Jeonghan considered the question for a moment before he answered. “I don’t think so. It’s probably best if we stick to the truth as much as possible. I mean, we live together. We’re basically married to each other at this point, it shouldn’t be too hard.”

Jeonghan glanced at Seungcheol, confused, when the other let out a quiet pained squeak at what he said. “You good?”

“Fine. Perfect. Never felt better before,” Seungcheol rushed out. “The plan sounds good. Let’s do it like that.” His head thumped against the window next to him.

Jeonghan grew a bit suspicious about the behavior from his friend, but chose to ignore it for now. Seungcheol wasn’t known to be very good at hiding his feelings, so Jeonghan figured if it should hold on for longer, he could still ask him about it later and not now when they were both confined to a moving metal box.

Jeonghan spent the rest of the drive telling Seungcheol more about their annual Christmas family dinner. Seungcheol knew of its existence before, of course, but besides him telling Seungcheol all the new tea about his family members and the typical complaining (lovingly), Jeonghan hadn’t filled him quite in. So, Jeonghan spent the next thirty minutes explaining the origin of their family traditions that started shortly before Jeonghan finished high school.

One winter, Jeonghan’s mother accidently slipped on a sidewalk that was covered in ice as she was carrying their groceries home. She broke her ankle and was bound to the living room couch for the next couple weeks. The restless woman she was, she easily found herself bored and started to watch all the classic Christmas movies she could possibly find and became obsessed with some of the recurring themes in these films – one of those things had been the families coming over for a big dinner or lunch.

Christmas wasn’t really a holiday in Korea that you’d spend with family as most people opted to celebrate with close friends or go out on a date with their romantic partner. So, Jeonghan’s mother demanded that he and Subin would at least take off on weekend in December and visit their parents’ house in order for them to celebrate together.

At first, Jeonghan didn’t know why it was such a big deal to her since they still had holidays like Seollal and Chuseok where they were all coming together, but over the years he realized that she must be feeling quite lonely. With both him and Subin living in Seoul and their parents living outside of the Seoul area, they didn’t see each other much throughout the year.

This, and she used it as an excuse to try her hand on different kinds of Christmas foods from western countries. Jeonghan always thought they tasted a bit weird, probably nothing like the traditional dishes, but it was still a free meal so he never complained. He still warned Seungcheol, though.

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆🕯🕯⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

As soon as they arrived Seungcheol hopped out of the car to get their bags from the backseat. The crisp winter air that seeped into the car from the open car door sent shivers down Jeonghan’s spine, a stark contrast to the heated car air and making him prolong getting out of the car. He closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the quiet that he certainly would miss the next twenty-four hours.

When the cold air from outside continued to disrupt him, though, he blinked his eyes open, looking back to check why the door was still open. There he saw Seungcheol rummaging through his bag, clearly searching for something.

“What are you doing?”, Jeonghan asked, confused as to what was so important to get out now before they entered his parents’ house.

Seungcheol didn’t react, but a few seconds later he whisper-shouted in triumph. When he retracted his hand, he had a tight grip on an expensive looking bottle. Jeonghan twisted his body fully around in his seat to get a better view, his eyes bulging.

He immediately recognized the brand of red wine, really expensive red wine. He remembered to have seen that brand of wine at Minghao’s place once, asking for the price out of sheer curiosity because he knew Minghao was a big wine connoisseur and wouldn’t mind spending more money on it than the usual person. He had nearly fainted when he got his answer.

“Where did you get this from?” Jeonghan sounded a bit panicked, still having the price in the back of his mind, but he was also impressed. He knew how hard it was to get a hand on a bottle like that, and Seungcheol did it in just one day. His heart fluttered a bit when he thought about Seungcheol buying the wine for his parents.

Seungcheol grinned at him with gleaming eyes, clearly proud of his present – as he should. “Minghao still owed me a favor. He helped me get one through his connections.”

Jeonghan was in awe. “But why would you buy a wine like that? I know exactly how expensive they are, you can’t fool me.”

Seungcheol just shrugged his shoulders, not looking bothered in the slightest. “Your father loves red wine, I know so. It’s no big deal for me to buy a bottle once in a while,” Seungcheol explained. He paused for bit before he continued. “Also, I gotta impress my future in-laws in some way.” He winked.

Jeonghan laughed in disbelief, but felt warm all over. “You’re crazy.” He sounded entirely too soft saying that.

He glanced at his own courtesy present for his parents, some red ginseng and vitamins neatly arranged in a basket. At least he was thoughtful enough to not buy a pre-packaged gift for them, instead decorating it himself. He could admit, though, that Seungcheol clearly won this round.

Jeonghan finally left the car, retrieving his own present. Seungcheol had already both their bags effortlessly thrown over his shoulders while holding the wine bottle on the other side. Jeonghan tried to take something from him, but the other refused, telling him instead to lead the way.

He did him the favor of not pointing out how the path to the front door was impossible to miss. The surrounding trees are hidden under a thick blanket of snow and Jeonghan was suddenly very glad to have chosen his winter boots as his footwear for the day as the ground was covered by just as much as snow and his normally preferred sneakers would have, without a doubt, gotten wet. But just a couple steps from where Jeonghan parked his car, a small path freed from the snow showed them the way to his parents’ house. His father must have gotten up this morning to clean a path for them. He pointed the path out to Seungcheol with a deadpan expression.

When the both of them came up to the front door, Jeonghan could see how Seungcheol seemed to have gotten nervous, his body jittery. Jeonghan lightly bumped his shoulders with Seungcheol’s, trying to lift his mood up. When the other looked at him, his cheeks pink from the cold air, Jeonghan smiled at him reassuringly. It seemed as if their roles had been reversed. “It’s okay, no need to be nervous.”

Seungcheol chuckled, his tense demeanor not yet fully gone, but his shoulders sagged as if he tried to force himself to relax. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Jeonghan pressed the doorbell with his free hand, his smile now more tense than before. He heard his mother screaming his father’s name before the door swung open. His mother greeted them with a bright smile, eyes crinkling, while his father stood beside her in the doorway, stoic, but Jeonghan could still recognize the flash of warmth in his eyes when his father saw him.

“Eomma, Appa. It’s so nice to see you.” Jeonghan melted into the hug his mother had pulled in him, breathing in her familiar scent before he pulled back. He pointed at Seungcheol next to him. “You already know Seungcheol. We’re dating.” Jeonghan demonstratively linked his arm with Seungcheol’s, pulling the other closer to him while he studied his parents expression.

His father’s face gave nothing away, no emotion showing, but it could be worse so Jeonghan took it as a win. His mother, however, smiled kindly at Seungcheol. “Seungcheol-ah, I’m glad you still were able to make time for us, I know it had been on quite a short notice.”

Seungcheol shook his head and, with his arm still linked to Jeonghan’s, bowed down slightly. “Thank you for having me today, Eomeonim, Abeonim.” He put down the bags on the ground beside him before he handed over his gift for them with both of his hands.

“Oh, that wasn’t necessary, Seungcheol-ah,” his mother said, but she looked very pleased about the gesture. Jeonghan sighed, glad about his friends initiative to get something for his parents. Seungcheol was better at playing his boyfriend than he expected.

Jeonghan’s mother was about to take the wine bottle from Seungcheol’s hand when suddenly his father snatched the bottle from him first, eyeing the bottle intensely and nodding satisfied. Jeonghan was surprised when he could make out the small smile and almost excited gleam in his eyes.

His father turned around and walked back into the house. “Come on in, son.” Jeonghan wasn’t sure if he meant Seungcheol or him. His mother followed her husband on quick feet, but Jeonghan saw her turning towards the kitchen, probably already busy cooking up the feast.

They were left standing in the doorway and Jeonghan quickly closed the front door, so the cold wind didn’t enter further the house. He turned his attention towards Seungcheol while shrugging off his winter coat, finding the other already looking at him with a pleased smile. “That went well.”

Jeonghan nodded. “Yeah, you definitely collected bonus point with your thoughtfulness. I don’t even remember ever telling you my father was a fan of wine. I would have just told them that my gift was from us both.” He glanced at the abandoned gift basket that his mother must have placed on the sideboard in the entryway, scowling.

Seungcheol chuckled. “Let’s be glad you didn’t have to.”

After they got rid of their shoes and coats – Jeonghan neatly putting them away the way his mother taught him – he led them down the hallway towards the living room where they found Jeonghan’s father lounging on the couch watching a baseball game. With a hand gesture he gestured to the pair to take a seat.

Jeonghan stirred Seungcheol to the loveseat in the room, using the limited space on the seat as an excuse to snuggle up to Seungcheol in search of some body warmth since, as expected, his parents’ home was freezing cold.

Seungcheol just welcomed him by putting his arm around his waist, pulling him closer so Jeonghan could rest his head on his shoulder. Their arrangement felt like second nature, the both of them having been cuddle buddies for years now as they both loved to express their affection through physical touch.

But Jeonghan still had to avoid his father’s gaze or else he knew the heat would creep up his face, painting it a fiery pink. He was far from used to display skinship in front of his parents like that.

For the next half an hour, Jeonghan was lightly dozing off, the long car ride exhausting him more than he expected. With his eyes closed, he loosely followed the conversation Seungcheol had with his father, but with the steady rhythm of Seungcheol’s heartbeat beneath his hand that lay resting on the other’s chest it was hard to concentrate.

They talked about Seungcheol’s job and every now and then Jeonghan could hear an impressed whistle from his father. Seungcheol must have been telling him about his recent promotion to a higher management position resulting in a better pay check as well.

The boring topic in combination with Seungcheol slowly stroking Jeonghan’s arm must have sent him into a light sleep, because next thing he remembered was startling awake by the sound of the doorbell. When he blinked his eyes open, he found Seungcheol looking at him. “Slept well?”, he asked, his amusement palpable in his voice and a grin on his face.

Jeonghan scowled, playfully hitting the other’s shoulder before he got up to greet the newcomer, Seungcheol trailing behind him.

His little sister was standing in the entryway – and only his sister – who wore an apologetic expression, explaining that Taewoo had to respond to an emergency at the hospital, so he wouldn’t be able to come along.

Their mother’s smile dimmed in disappointed, but with a calm nothing you can do about it she hurried down the hallway again, undoubtedly having to look after the food. The house already started to smell like roasted meat and Christmas spices. Their father followed her after tolerating the quick hug Subin gave him.

It was only with their parents gone that Subin’s attention shifted to the pair, her eyes widening in surprise at seeing Seungcheol. “Seungcheol-oppa!” Her face lightened up, her eyes crinkling just like their mother’s did when she smiled. Her cheeks sported a faint blush.

Jeonghan snorted. It was no secret to him that Subin used to harbor a small crush on Seungcheol (“he looks manly and dependable” she had told him and Jeonghan couldn’t refute that).

Seungcheol waved at her in greeting with the hand that wasn’t resting on Jeonghan’s lower back. Subin’s eyes widened again when she finally noticed his hand placement and deduced why he was at their parents’ house in the first place.

Her eyes narrowed, her gaze on Jeonghan. “I think you have some explaining to do, Oppa.”

She played up an offended tone, berating Jeonghan that he hadn’t told her about recent developments yet. Jeonghan didn’t lie earlier in the car that Subin would know if something interesting in his life happened – especially considering his nonexistent (now existing?) love life. They did call each other a lot, after all, even though the calls had lessened a bit throughout the years, both of them now adults with their own busy lives and relationships.

Jeonghan suddenly was overcome with a sense of helplessness as he observed his little sister who had grown up into a beautiful woman with a ring on her finger. No one had prepared him for that moment.

He stepped forward to pull her into a tight hug, ignoring the surprised squeal from his sister and inhaling the sweet scent of her coconut shampoo that she had been using for a decade now. Subin melted into the embrace nevertheless.

Before his feelings could be palpable to the others in the room, he pulled back again but not without ruffling up his little sisters hair, which earned him an annoyed huff and a hand swatting him away. He laughed, satisfied with his work.

Jeonghan returned to Seungcheol’s side, taking one hand into his. “We’ll talk more about this-” he pointedly lifted their intertwined hands. “- at dinner, later. Eomma’s gonna grill us about the details anyway.” He rolled his eyes.

Subin laughed at him, showing no mercy. “Glad you finally have to go through that as well.”

Her eyes softened, though, when she looked at Seungcheol, an ounce of sympathy in her eyes. “Seungcheol-oppa, fighting!”

“Thank you, Subin-ah,” he said while playfully swinging his hand that was still locked with Jeonghan’s, smiling at her. “We can handle it.”

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆🕯🕯⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

An hour later, dinner was ready to serve. The ‘children’ (how their parents still liked to call them) were setting the table after the three of them tried to help in the kitchen with dinner, but were shooed away since the kitchen became too crowded.

For a festive feeling, Subin placed two long candles on the table. When Jeonghan handed her a lighter he had taken out of the pocket of his coat, a scowl appeared on her face and she started reprimanding him about how he wanted to quit smoking already.

Jeonghan put his hands up in faux surrender, immediately defending himself about how he absolutely did stop smoking (he did!), but still caried around a lighter as a habit, and because you’d never know when it’d come in handy. He pointed at the candles, proving his point.

Just as Subin wanted to argue back, they were interrupted by their father entering the room with food in his hands. “Stop fighting, children,” he said with a passive face, already tired of their quarrel. Some things would never change.

The siblings paused their argument, hurrying into the kitchen to help their parents carry out the trays of food.

Out of the corner of his eyes, Jeonghan saw Seungcheol catching Subin by her wrist. With reassuring eyes he told her that Jeonghan really had stopped and that she didn’t have to worry anymore. He could hear his sister sigh in relief, saying that if anyone knew than it’d be Seungcheol.

Jeonghan smiled to himself at the exchange, his mother commenting on his seemingly good mood as she pressed a bowl of mashed potatoes into his hands, telling him to be cautious as the bowl was very hot.

The first ten minutes during dinner passed in near silence, only the sound of eating and cutlery scraping the food off their plates audible. Seungcheol was the first to speak up, complimenting Jeonghan’s mother for the food. Jeonghan quickly followed suit as well as his sister and father, genuinely impressed by the food this year. His mother went all out, probably trying to impress her new sons in-laws in her own way.

With the silence between them now broken, it was also time for the questions. Subin was mainly let off the hooks since her fiancée couldn’t be present, but Jeonghan saw the way his mother was brimming with excitement as her attention shifted to him and Seungcheol.

Jeonghan felt his heart rate picking up, making eye contact with Seungcheol for a split second to reassure himself but also check if the other was okay. Seungcheol seemed to be relatively calm, but as the one sitting next to him, Jeonghan could see his right leg bounce up and down, letting out his own nervous energy.

Jeonghan placed his hand on top of Seungcheol’s thigh, squeezing it lightly to reassure Seungcheol that it was going to be okay, putting his own nervosity aside for a moment. Fake or real, meeting the in-laws probably wasn’t a lot of fun either way.

“So, Jeonghan-ah, you still haven’t told me anything about you and Seungcheol,” his mother started the conversation, eager. His sister perked up as well, only his father continuing to eat peacefully. “You two have been knowing each other for more than a decade, how come you only started dating now?”

Jeonghan laid his cutlery down on his almost finished plate, the conversation his whole focus now. “I can’t really explain it either, it just happened. It felt like dating would be the natural next step.” He shrugged. Jeonghan saw his sister rolling her eyes at his boring answer.

Their mother, though, nodded in understanding. “Many friendships evolve to romantic relationships when people grow older and feel like they should settle down soon.”

Settling down, huh?

When he thought about it, his mother was probably right. He did kind of settle down with Seungcheol.

After all, they were living together, doing mundane everyday-stuff together, but also, if one of them was going out, the other would normally follow. Their friends often jokingly complained about them being joined by the hip, and if they would meet Jeonghan without the other, they still commented on how Jeonghan sneaked in Seungcheol into their conversation every chance he got.

And, neither of them was actively searching for a romantic relationship, as far as Jeonghan was concerned. 

“Boring.” Jeonghan’s wandering thoughts were interrupted by his younger sister. “Eomma, you have to ask more exciting questions, like, who asked whom out? I bet it was Seungcheol-oppa, because Jeonghan-oppa takes ages before he commits to something.” Subin leaned forward in her seat, their father sitting next to Subin dragging her back before her white blouse could accidently touch the food.

This time, it was Seungcheol who answered for them, clearing his throat. “Actually, Hannie was the one to ask me out. To be honest, I had been in love with him for a while now, but I wasn’t sure if your brother saw me as anything more than a friend. Apparently, I wasn’t as secretive about it as I thought I was, because he asked me if we wanted to try for real two months ago.”

Jeonghan couldn’t even enjoy the shocked look on his sisters face. All of a sudden his throat felt tight. He gulped in hopes of getting rid of the feeling.

Seungcheol’s words had sounded so real, getting his heart all twisted. Jeonghan tried to school his expression as he looked at the other beside him who only sent him a small smile, eyes softening.

Seungcheol should reconsider his career choice if he managed to get him that affected, even though Jeonghan knew better than to believe what the other said. After all, they both had agreed to tell them the story like that. 

Jeonghan somehow managed to get himself together again. When his mother asked them if they already went on some dates and if they did anything special, Jeonghan did what he proposed in the car. He played with the truth.

He told them about their omakase date, which they actually went to roughly a month ago.

Over shared dinner at their apartment, Jeonghan had been complaining to Seungcheol about a coworker of his that had recently been on an omakase date with her husband, and just wouldn’t stop talking about the good time she had, so he started to yearn for an omakase experience as well.

Seungcheol, ever attentive, texted him one day around noon when Jeonghan had just begun his lunch break at work, to get dressed in something fancy when he got home – they’d be going out for dinner. And Jeonghan had done just that.

He showed his mother and sister a picture from the date, the both of them fawning over it with Subin even whistling.

In the picture, Jeonghan wore a simple cardigan with nothing underneath, showing off slivers of his smooth skin, which he only ever did for special occasions as he wasn’t a fan of too revealing clothes. But he had wanted to look good that evening, excited about the prospect of having dinner with Seungcheol even though they’d eat together almost every day.

He had gotten uncharacteristically shy when Seungcheol complimented him for his outfit as he picked him up to drive to the restaurant together. Jeonghan could still feel the blush that had spread on his cheeks just thinking back to it.

From his expression alone, one could tell how much fun Jeonghan had that evening – his eyes glowing and his lips curled up into a genuine smile as he was holding up the phone to immortalize the moment.

Seungcheol had looked quite handsome that evening as well, Jeonghan’s eyes lingering on him as he was showing off the picture to his family. He had his black hair neatly styled – different to how he’d normally show up at work – and wore a nice dress shirt over a simple black tee while showing off one of his more expensive watches on one wrist.

As his mother still gushed about how handsome the both of them looked together, Jeonghan could admit to himself that she was right – they made a nice pair. He grinned at Seungcheol, satisfied, which the other returned, clearly pleased by Jeonghan’s mother’s words.

When his mother then asked him who had paid for the dinner, Jeonghan spluttered, admitting that Seungcheol did. She lightly smacked him on the head, telling him he shouldn’t always let others pay for him.

Seungcheol quickly came to his rescue, explaining how he “enjoyed spending money on Jeonghan”.

His sister cackled, his father looked horrified, and his mother just looked pleased and happy for him.

But Jeonghan, he felt the heat rush up his face, even reaching his ears, painting them a deep color of red. Subin laughed even louder at that.

Seungcheol squeezed his hand that he still had resting on the others’ thigh – Jeonghan couldn’t tell if he did it to calm him down or to apologize to him, it worked either way.

He hadn’t even realized that he kept his hand there for the whole evening, only now being made aware of it again.

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆🕯🕯⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

After dinner, they settled down in the living room to watch a foreign Christmas movie Jeonghan had to sit through at least five times already but always forgot the name of. It wasn’t much of importance, though, as they mostly talked over the movie, anyway.

Jeonghan and Seungcheol were sitting on the loveseat again, Seungcheol’s hands brushing through his long hair and loosely braiding it, undoing it and starting off anew.

It was a habit of his that had been established in college when Jeonghan first tried out to grow out his hair – still a bit self-conscious about the length, but his friends, and especially Seungcheol, kept complimenting him, saying how much the hair suited him so it kind of stuck.

With the end of the movie, it became apparent how tired the lot of them were.

When the kids were carrying their overnight bags up the stairs to retreat to their childhood bedrooms, Subin caught Jeonghan by his wrist, making him stop in his steps. His sister, however, was looking straight ahead at Seungcheol.

“Oppa, you can go ahead and use the bathroom first,” she offered with a sweet voice but it sounded more like a command. Seungcheol still thanked her and – after Jeonghan pointed out which room his old bedroom was so Seungcheol could set down his bag there – he disappeared into the bathroom, leaving the siblings standing in the hallway.

Jeonghan looked at his sister with one lifted eyebrow. “Ok, shoot.”

Immediately,  Subin’s demeanor changed. Her features softened and her shoulders sagged as her lips curled up into a small, genuine smile. “Don’t look so suspicious. I just wanted to tell you how happy I am for you and Seungcheol-oppa. It was obvious to all the people around you how much you liked each other, so I’m glad you finally worked it out.”

The feeling Jeonghan already experienced at the dinner table earlier that night reappeared. He licked over his dry lips, his thoughts circulating widely. What did she mean everyone knew how he felt about Seungcheol? And what the other felt for him? Subin looked so earnest as well as she said it. Was it something their friends also thought about them?

“What do you mean everyone could tell?”, he croaked.

Subin furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “Was it supposed to be a secret? Because if so, you didn’t exactly do a good job at hiding how in love you are with Seungcheol-oppa.”

It felt as if someone just bumped ice cold water all over him. His feet and hands were coated in cold sweat. Jeonghan couldn’t move, his ears started ringing and he became hyper-aware of his heart pounding in his chest.

This couldn’t be right. Jeonghan wasn’t in love with Seungcheol. He’d know if he was in love with someone, wouldn’t he? Where was the excitement that made him all giddy and acting like a teenage girl with a crush if he really was in love?

He had crushes on people before, felt all those things with them, so shouldn’t he feel like that, too, if Subin was right? It was undeniable how close him and Seungcheol were. He could see why it might look like they were in love with each other to outsiders, he could admit that. That’s why their whole pretend relationship was so convincing to begin with.

Yeah, they just had a platonic bond with each other that ran deep. Not all close relationships had to be romantic.

He shook his head slowly, convincing himself with his whirling thoughts that his little sister was wrong. Still, curiosity stirred inside of him.

“What gave me away? How long have you known?”, he asked with a controlled light tone. He quickly glanced towards the bathroom door, aware that Seungcheol could interrupt them at any moment. The hallway really wasn’t the best place to have this conversation.

Subin looked a bit uncomfortable to have the conversation even though she had started it, shrugging her shoulders helplessly. “You act like a married couple all the time. You’re doing almost everything together, touch each other at any given moment – and yes, I saw you at the dinner table –, and until now I thought that Seungcheol was the one to look at you as if you personally hung the moon and the stars, but you are no better!”

Jeonghan put a hand on Subin’s shoulder to calm her down again as she had gotten louder the more she said. She huffed, but turned down her voice, “After all this time, I’m just glad you finally recognized how long you’ve been pining for each other and acted on it. It was painful to watch, really. So good job, Oppa, for no longer making us all suffer.”

Before Jeonghan could retort anything, he heard the lock from the bathroom door turning. Out came Seungcheol with a towel on his head, still busy rubbing his hair dry. The wet strands framed his face nicely, making him look more manly, but the oversized shirt and joggers he was wearing for bed combined with his natural pout just made Jeonghan want to hug him.

Only when Subin punched his arm did Jeonghan realize that he was staring at Seungcheol. He quickly averted his eyes.

“Goodnight, boys. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” Subin disappeared with a sly grin behind her the door of her old bedroom, waving them goodbye.

Jeonghan hated himself just a little bit for slightly blushing at her implications, but felt better when he glanced at Seungcheol who didn’t seem so unaffected himself.

He sighed in relief, touching his cheeks with his cold hands. He felt like he blushed this evening more than the past five years combined. He really needed to get a grip.

With a muttered ignore her as he hurried past Seungcheol, he quickly hid inside the bathroom.

When he entered his bedroom twenty minutes later, he found Seungcheol sitting on his bed scrolling on his phone. The other perked up when Jeonghan appeared, giving him a small smile.

“Is it okay if we share a bed?” Seungcheol gestured to his old bed that was prepared by his mother with two blankets and two pillows. It wasn’t really a small bed, but with two grown adults it was close to a tight fit.

“Sure.” Jeonghan shrugged with his shoulders. It would be impolite to make Seungcheol sleep anywhere else but the bed and Jeonghan couldn’t fool himself into thinking his body would be fine if he took the couch for tonight or slept on the floor. It was fine, they had shared a bed before.

But when Seungcheol laid down on the bed, scooting over to the wall the bed was standing against, and patted the empty space next to him, Jeonghan realized how close they’d be to each other. And while that would have been fine any other time, after his conversation with his sister it just made him nervous for some reason.

Still, he slowly climbed onto the bed and laid down as far away from Seungcheol as he could without falling off from the edge of the bed. Admittedly, it wasn’t nearly far enough for his liking.

Facing towards the other, Jeonghan felt Seungcheol’s warm breath on his face with how close they were to the other, making his heartrate pick up again. Jeonghan swallowed, his body tensing up.

“Do you have enough space?” Seungcheol looked at him questioningly, visibly confused about Jeonghan’s behavior. Normally, they’d be cuddling by now, but Jeonghan was glad that the other picked up on his mood, giving him his space.

He hummed, pointedly closing his eyes. In reality, Jeonghan was so close to the edge, he started to slowly slide down the bed. Seungcheol sighed, putting one arm around Jeonghan’s waist and pulling him up against his chest. Jeonghan squeaked in surprise, not having seen it coming (literally).

So now, Jeonghan laid so close to Seungcheol he could feel the warmth the other emitted surround him. Not knowing where to place his hands, he hesitantly placed them against Seungcheol’s chest, resting just above the other’s heart, feeling it pump firmly but fast. Was is supposed to go so fast? Jeonghan had no idea what a normal speed felt like.

“Comfy?” Seungcheol asked him, wiggling around a bit to find a comfortable position himself, but his arm never left Jeonghan’s waist.

“Yep.” He popped his p, trying his best to come of nonchalant, but probably achieved the opposite. Seungcheol didn’t comment on it, though, just closing his eyes and taking a deep breath before he fully sagged into the mattress, ready to fall asleep. Within just a few minutes Jeonghan noticed Seungcheol’s breathing evening out, his features softening.

Jeonghan used it as his chance to observe the other, really taking him in.

Seungcheol was handsome, Jeonghan even told the other plenty of times. He’d always been a bit envious about his long, thick eyelashes and from up close, he could see them flutter every now and then because some of Seungcheol’s black hair strands kept falling into his face, lightly touching the lashes.

Jeonghan couldn’t hold himself back as he lifted one hand to brush the strands out of Seungcheol’s face, cautious to not accidently touch the other’s face. He wasn’t able to fully tuck them back but he brushed them up high enough so they wouldn’t immediately fall down again.

After that, Jeonghan’s hand kept hovering over Seungcheol’s head, craving to touch the fluffy black hair. He held his breath as he lowered his hand again to lightly comb through the black hair, not being able to stop due to the softness that greeted him.

He immediately retreated his hand when a sudden sound disrupted the silence, almost making Jeonghan’s heart jump out of his chest, but he relaxed again when he realized it was just Seungcheol snoring.

He buried his head into his pillow, closing his eyes to try and fall asleep as well, but just a few seconds later, they fluttered open again, automatically landing on Seungcheol’s face. This time, his eyes drifted lower getting stuck on Seungcheol’s thick and plump lips.

Jeonghan swallowed, his throat suddenly dry. The longer he kept his eyes on the lips, the more he wondered what they’d feel like, wondered if they were as soft as they looked. He wetted his own lips.

When he realized what he was just thinking about, he quickly shut his eyes close again, placing his hand against his own chest and rubbing over it, trying to calm his rapidly beating heart down.

Jeonghan didn’t know how much time passed, but every time he tried to fall asleep his thoughts would automatically drift back to Seungcheol’s lips. The way he could still feel the other’s hot breath on him every time he exhaled, didn’t help the matter.

He became increasingly frustrated, but also exhausted. He did have a long day, after all, and just didn’t fall asleep.

In the end, he tried out the old technique of counting sheep to prevent his thoughts from straying, but instead of counting sheep, he followed the beating of Seungcheol’s heart, his hand on the other’s chest lightly moving up and down with every breath he took.

At around one hundred seventeen beats, he finally succumbed to sleep.

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆🕯🕯⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

Jeonghan woke up the next morning shivering. Still exhausted from the night earlier, he blinked his eyes open drowsily. The space next to him was empty, explaining the missing heat. Jeonghan wondered how Seungcheol has managed to climb over him to get out of the bed without waking him up, especially since he was such a light sleeper.

Deciding to not let Seungcheol alone with his family any longer, he got out of bed and made his way to the bathroom with sluggish movements to get ready for the day.

When he went downstairs fifteen minutes later, he found his mother sitting at the dining table peeling garlic for meal prep with his sister next to her who also seemed to just have woken up as she was still wearing her sleep wear.

However, as Jeonghan let his eyes wander through the room, he had to discover that Seungcheol was nowhere to be found, his father was missing too. He got a bit uneasy at the thought.

“Good morning, Jeonghan-ah,” his mother greeted him with a pointed look as she saw him silently standing in the room without saying anything. “There is still some breakfast for you in the kitchen.”

“Morning,” his eyes snapped back to her, looking at her questioningly. “Where are Seungcheol and Appa?”

It was his sister who answered, pointing behind her at the window. When Jeonghan followed her hand and looked outside, he saw his father and Seungcheol cutting wood in their backyard, surrounded by mountains of snow. “Appa kidnapped him to prepare some pieces for the fireplace.”

“How can you let a guest cut fire wood for you?”, he asked his mother, shaking his head in disbelief. “You could have asked me.”

His mother just shrugged, not looking up from where she was still peeling the garlic. “I don’t see the problem. Seungcheol-ah is family now, too, and he actually offered to help your father.” Then she lifted her head to look at him accusingly. “And don’t pretend as if you’d be much help out there, you’d be constantly whining while cutting the wood and not have any stamina left after five minutes.”

His sister giggled. Jeonghan sighed, but couldn’t say anything in retaliation because he knew it was the truth. He sat down at the table and picked up some of the garlic to help his mother as a peace offering. He wasn’t that hungry yet, anyway.

While Jeonghan was peeling the garlic, he absentmindedly stared out the window to observe Seungcheol cutting wood, his thick arms definitely more suited for it than Jeonghan’s own. Even from far away he could make out the sheen of sweat that coated Seungcheol’s face, making his hair strands stick together. Every now and then Seungcheol would slick his hair back as it kept falling over his eyes. Jeonghan couldn’t keep his eyes off him.

He yelped as he felt a sudden kick against his shin. He glared at his sister, who sat innocently in front of her bowl of soup. “What the fuck was that for?”

For the choice of language he earned himself a slap on the wrist from his mother. He winced.

“Stop ogling your boyfriend right in front of us, you look like you’d throw himself at him any moment.”

He wasn’t ogling, and he definitely wasn’t going to throw himself at Seungcheol. Even though he had to admit that Seungcheol doing those manual tasks looked quite hot.

Fuck. Since when did he think about Seungcheol like that? First last night, and now at the table peeling garlic watching him chopping wood. Subin’s word really must have gotten into his head.

In that moment, he just wanted to hide his face behind his hands and suffer his existential crisis without his mother and sister present.

But just then, Seungcheol looked up after chopping another piece of wood and saw Jeonghan watching him from the window. A huge smile spread on Seungcheol’s face, his eyes almost disappearing.

Jeonghan was faintly aware of the lovestruck expression that crossed his face, but he still waved at Seungcheol in greeting. The excited wave he got back from the other made it worth it; even his sister muttering gross under her breath couldn’t distract him.

“To be young and in love again.” His mother sighed, putting a hand above her heart. “And Seungcheol is such a gentleman, too. His love for you is written all over his face, Jeonghan-ah. You’re really lucky to have found each other.”

Jeonghan nodded in acknowledgement, but was already deep in thought.

His mother had now been the second person to tell him how much Seungcheol seemed to love him, how obvious he was with his love for him. He wondered if his mother and sister only thought that way because they knew they were ‘together’. But then again, Subin had said she’d known for years.

Jeonghan stared at his hands as he let his thoughts run wild. Now he didn’t only have to worry about his own feelings for Seungcheol, reevaluate their friendship of more than ten years, but also wonder if his perhaps-feelings were actually reciprocated.

But that would be a good thing, right? His heart fluttering at the thought of Seungcheol confessing his feelings answered the question for him. Jeonghan didn’t know what to do with the realization.

Luckily for him, he didn’t have enough time to decide if it would be worth it to panic over the fact that he might actually be in love with Seungcheol, because the beforementioned man walked into the room at just that moment, interrupting Jeonghan’s crisis.

Seungcheol came to a halt beside him, holding out his hands that were glowing red from suddenly entering a warm house after being out so long in the cold. “Hannie, my hands are so cold they feel like they’ll fall off any moment,” Seungcheol whined, his lips forming his signature pout that Jeonghan has always been weak for.

Before he had the chance to overthink his interactions with Seungcheol after his enlightenment, he already reached out to take the other’s hands between his. “Aigoo. We can’t have that happen,” he replied with a sugary tone, using his palms to warm up Seungcheol’s hands by rubbing them up and down.

When he was done, he noticed Seungcheol observing him with such a look that could only be described as smitten. Getting shy, Jeonghan released the other’s hands between his. To distract himself from thinking about Seungcheol’s gaze, he said with a much quieter voice, “sorry, your hands must be smelling like garlic now.” He stared down at the pile of peeled garlic in front of him.

Seungcheol only shook his head without a care in the world, opening his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but he was interrupted by Jeonghan’s father entering the room.

“Son, you picked a good one,” his father said, coming to stand right behind were Jeonghan was sitting and put one of his hands on Jeonghan’s shoulder while he slapped Seungcheol’s back with the other, his lips stretched into a satisfied grin.

Seungcheol stood up straight at his father’s compliment, a pleased look in his eyes as he winked at Jeonghan. Fair enough, that’s probably the biggest sign of approval one could get from Jeonghan’s father. The corners of his mouth quirked.

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆🕯🕯⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

A while later, after they had eaten a quick lunch that Jeonghan’s mother had prepared, they were outside going for a walk before Subin, Seungcheol, and Jeonghan had to drive back home.

Jeonghan hadn’t been very keen on the idea of going for a walk during freezing temperatures, but his sister was quick to convince him, saying that she desperately wanted to enjoy all the snow before they had to go back to Seoul, where most of the fallen snow turned into brown mush within hours.

Now, bundled up to the best of his capabilities and having stored Seungcheol’s hand intertwined with his inside of the pocket of his coat, they were taking a walk in the park of the small town, characterized by a small lake in the middle of park. His family made it their mission to walk around it once before they’d go back home.

Jeonghan had to admit that the park looked like a winter wonderland straight out of a movie. The trees were covered in snow, the lake was frozen, and with every step they took the ground would make a crunching sound from the snow. It made Jeonghan feel oddly at peace.

Jeonghan and Seungcheol were hanging back from the little group his family had formed, preferring strolling in a leisurely tempo. The silence between them was peaceful, both of them drinking up the scenery to commit them to memory.

It was only when Jeonghan’s mother turned around for a moment to see whether the two of them were still behind them, but ultimately circling back with a fond expression on her face after spotting them together, that Seungcheol broke the silence beside him.

“Seems like I succeeded in winning your parents over, what do you think?” Seungcheol gave Jeonghan’s hand a light squeeze, grinning at him in triumph. Jeonghan hummed in agreement, his lips forming into a small smile.

And Seungcheol did succeed, passed the test with flying colors, but Jeonghan started to wonder what it actually meant to the man beside him.

Agreeing to play his boyfriend, offering to come here with him in the first place, pretending to be his boyfriend even though Jeonghan could have easily just told his mother that Seungcheol didn’t have any time due to the short notice. Like Seungcheol said, he wanted to impress his future in-laws.

And suddenly, Jeonghan wondered if there might be more truth to the statement than he initially thought. Would it be too far-fetched to believe that Seungcheol might actually have feelings for him, romantic feelings?

A sudden courage unknown to Jeonghan overtook him, wanting to address the topic heads on. Maybe, it was because it’s them. Jeonghan didn’t know how, but he knew they’d be okay no matter the outcome.

“Cheollie,” with a breathy tone he searched for Seungcheol’s attention, the other facing him instantly, waiting for what he wanted to say. “Cheollie, do you love me?”

“Of course I love you.” The answer left Seungcheol’s mouth before Jeonghan could even manage to process his own question. The immediate answer made him smile, but he knew Seungcheol didn’t understand what he actually wanted to ask. Of course, Seungcheol loved him, but was he in love with Jeonghan?

Jeonghan came to a stop, their connected hands prompting Seungcheol to stop as well. Jeonghan searched for Seungcheol’s eyes, looking at him with intent. “No, Cheollie. I mean, are you in love with me?”

Hesitation flickered in Seungcheol’s eyes and Jeonghan had to admit, it was a bit mean of him to demand an answer with a direct question like that before he even told him anything about what he felt for the other. But he needed to know, needed to know if Seungcheol had really been doing all this because he was in love with Jeonghan.

Seungcheol tried to retract his hand from his, but Jeonghan stubbornly hold onto it, not letting the other go. Jeonghan still had his whole focus on Seungcheol, trying to muster up the most assuring expression he could manage to tell him it would be alright, whatever the answer might be.

Jeonghan could pinpoint the exact moment Seungcheol decided to come clean, seeing the shift in the other’s demeanor, how his back straightened, his eyes shining with determination.

“I didn’t lie at dinner yesterday. I’ve been in love with you for years now, Yoon Jeonghan.”

It took Jeonghan’s breath away for a moment. So long? His eyes widened and his heart started beating like crazy with the confirmation. Seungcheol moved to finally let go of Jeonghan’s hand, but he only tightened his grip.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” He did his best to not sound accusatory, just curious. His goal wasn’t to make Seungcheol feel bad. He just wanted to come clean, know the truth.

“I know how you only see me as a friend. And I was fine with, really! I admit I never tried hard to get over you, but I just can’t imagine a life in which I didn’t love you, even if I’d never be more than a friend for you.” Seungcheol looked down at their hands. Jeonghan wasn’t sure if he did it so he didn’t have to look at him or because it gave him some sort of courage. Maybe it was both.

“Why did you agree to play my boyfriend for the weekend?”, Jeonghan pressed a tiny bit more, his lips quivering.

Seungcheol’s burned with embarrassment as he looked down on the ground, his voice a lot quieter as he said, “I wanted to show you what a good boyfriend I could be… for you.” Seungcheol lifted his head to look Jeonghan deep into the eyes, his gaze earnest. “I’m sorry for not being honest with you, deceiving you. It wasn’t right.”

Jeonghan hummed. “No, maybe not.” He took a deep breath, collecting courage to empty everything he had on his mind as well, he owed Seungcheol that much. “But it’s okay, I accept your apology.”

Jeonghan saw how Seungcheol wanted to say something about that, his mouth opening again, but Jeonghan knew he had to get it out now or he might lose all his courage. He tugged at Seungcheol’s hand. “It’s okay, because it worked.” He smiled at Seungcheol, shy, but immensely glad to have taken one step into the right direction, already feeling his heart becoming lighter.

Seungcheol’s eyes widened in shock, and to Jeonghan it looked like the other forgot how to breathe. Tugging at their locked hands, he tried to get Seungcheol back to the present.

Seungcheol sucked in air with a big gulp, almost choking on it. “Come again?”, he breathed out, making himself appear smaller than he was, as if Seungcheol couldn’t believe what Jeonghan just said.

A heavy feeling made itself home in Jeonghan’s body, feeling bad for what his friend had been going through all those years. Seungcheol telling him he never expected to be more than friends was one thing, but actually being so close to him – with certainly lots of blurred boundaries – but yet so far, must have been hard on him.

“I’m telling you it worked, Cheol-ah. I like you, too.” Jeonghan looked down at the snow beneath him, for some reason nervous. “I’m sorry, I can’t tell you that I love you, yet, because I still have to come to terms with a lot of things, sorting through my own feelings. But I like you, as more than just a friend.” He forced himself to look up again, making sure Seungcheol understood what he wanted to tell him.

“Throughout the whole weekend my family has been telling me how happy they were for me that we finally got together after pining for each other for years. I was confused what they meant, I never mentioned any feelings for you to them, because I didn’t even know I had them.” Jeonghan sounded frustrated with himself.

“When I asked how they could possibly know, they just said that my love for you was written all over my face, was visible in everything I do and say. I panicked, but started to actually think about it for once and realized how perfect you are, to me at least, and that I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with anyone but you, because you understand me, make me feel warm and at peace.” Jeonghan took a deep breath, having trouble to catch up on getting air in as he poured all of those words out.

He placed the hand that wasn’t locked with Seungcheol over his heart, rubbing slightly over it. “And after Subin’s comment yesterday night, suddenly my heart starts racing every time we touch and I just can’t seem to take my eyes off you – gosh, you looked so hot and handsome earlier when you were chopping wood with my dad. But the worst of all, I can’t look away from your lips. I want to taste them, want to see if they’re as soft as they look like. It drives me insane, and it’s all your fault!”

Jeonghan gestured towards Seungcheol as if he was saying just look at you! and he felt himself starting to sweat from the sheer amount of emotions that swelled up in him during his ranting, and, to Jeonghan’s horror, water built up in his eyes.

It required everything in him to prevent the tears from falling, forcing them back by sheer will. He had never been much of a crier, most often the person to keep his cool and support the people around him when they cried, and just because he felt a few to many emotions at the moment, he didn’t want to start now.

As Jeonghan was pouring his heart out, Seungcheol’s face was displaying a multitude of emotions. Mostly, it was shock. His eyes widening in disbelief the more Jeonghan shared with him, but the hopeful shimmer in them was palpable.

But by the end of his monologue, Seungcheol wore an almost cocky smirk, certainly liking what Jeonghan had just told him. However, when Seungcheol noticed his wet eyes, his smirk evened out to a soft smile. He took a step closer to Jeonghan, his only free hand coming up to cup Jeonghan’s cheek. “Jeonghan-ah. No need to cry, hm?”

“I’m not,” he huffed, looking up at the sky while aggressively blinking back his tears.

When it felt safe enough to lay his eyes on Seungcheol again, he was met with the other’s gaze that was dripping with such clear love and affection that Jeonghan wondered how he could have ever missed the way Seungcheol had been looking at him for all those years and not see it for what it was.

“But will you?”, Jeonghan asked with a scratchy voice, barely louder than a whisper, his eyes automatically dropping down to Seungcheol’s lips clarifying what he meant. He imagined how little he’d have to lean in to close the gap between them, connecting their lips. Just like yesterday night, Jeonghan felt Seungcheol’s warm breath on his cold cheeks, torturing him in the sweetest way possible.

Before he could decide to take matters into his own hand, Seungcheol leaned forward, pressing his lips against Jeonghan’s.

He didn’t feel any butterflies in his stomach, but when Seungcheol’s lips connected with his, a comfortable warmth spread through his body, like coming home to a well heated house after spending the day out in the cold.

Seungcheol’s lips were just as soft as they looked, contrasting his own that were a bit chapped from the cold (he made a mental reminder to start carrying lip balm around), but the other didn’t seem to care. One of Seungcheol’s hands was still cupping his cheek, using his thumb to draw small circles on his cheek, while he put his other hand on Jeonghan’s waist to pull him closer.

Jeonghan gasped when his body pressed against Seungcheol’s, but before he could deepen the kiss, Seungcheol pulled back, resting his forehead against Jeonghan’s while breathing heavy. “Good?”, he asked with a raspy voice.

Jeonghan just nodded before he leaned in again, already addicted. Twisting his fingers up in Seungcheol’s hair, he continued to kiss him until their lips were swollen and wet. Only then, he dared to properly pull back.

A giddy feeling overtook Jeonghan when Seungcheol smiled brightly at him, corners of his eyes wrinkling and hand still on his waist, and Jeonghan knew a similar expression was mirrored on his own face.

 “So, are we dating now?”, Jeonghan asked, still a bit breathless. “For real this time?”

They both chuckled at that. Seungcheol took his hand into his own again while smiling at Jeonghan, his gaze full of love. “Yeah,” Seungcheol kissed the back of Jeonghan’s hand, “let’s do this, Hannie.”

Jeonghan used their locked hands to pull Seungcheol close to his side, closer than before, as he resumed walking again, his eyes searching for his family who by now are far ahead of them, only small moving dots visible from the distance. “Come on, we have a lot of catching up to do.”

(“At least you won’t have to go through meeting all the in-laws again, now.”

 “You have no idea how nervous of the weekend I really was.”)

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆🕯🕯⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺