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Hope

Summary:

When life gets away from you, you can only hope.

Notes:

Hello!

I've been having some trouble saving my work lately, so I'm gonna upload this now just to keep it safe.

This is what happens when the much feared mind worm attacks and wouldn't leave. You type it out instead of working on your WIP or do your work or household chores like a normal person. Who needs a clean house and fresh laundry anyway?

Might stay a one-shot, might be extended one day. Like way, way, waaaaaaayyyy in the future.

Hope you like it.

Work Text:

“Ellie, you cannot have Jello for lunch.”

“But I like Jello.”

“I know you do, but you need to have something else before the Jello. That’s a dessert honey.”

“Dessert is food too, Mrs Adler said so.”

“Just because Mrs Adler said so, doesn’t mean you could only eat Jello for lunch.”

God, she looked scary when her eyes rolled so far back, only the whites of her eyes showed.

“Come on, Ellie, your mom would kill me if she found out I only fed you Jello for lunch.”

She contemplated your words for a minute, and then, a lightbulb moment.

“If they make it here on time, I will eat a plate of Ravioli too. If they don’t, then I get to eat two cups of Jellos for lunch,” she said, eyebrow raised, hand stuck out towards you to shake on this heavily skewed deal she had somehow thought you would ever agree too.

You cocked your head to the side, hands on your hips, cursing your sister for leaving this ballsy little five year old with you while she went off gallivanting in some country to play with clay and bones.

“Come on Daddy! They’re already here!” Sarah’s little squeal floated into the cafeteria, her little body doing all it could to pull her Daddy in with her, the man having an eye on the phone in his hand. He finally put the phone away and searched the cafeteria for you and Ellie, his eyes lighting up when he saw you.

“Hey,” he greeted, bending a little to give you a small kiss on the cheek, as Sarah climbed on your leg like a hungry kitten to get a proper hug, and you wasted no time in snuggling the little girl in your arms, kissing her all over the face until she pushed you away.

“Hey Old Man,” Ellie gave him a small kick on his shoe, hands in her pocket, before she began squirming in his arms when he picked her up for a hug and a wet smooch.

“Hah, they’re here, so Ravioli for lunch?” you asked her as she wiped her face off of Joel’s scratchy, wet kisses, a playful disgust on her face.

“Nope, two Jellos. You didn’t shake on it!” she ran off to the line to get the Jellos, Sarah following faithfully.

“Jellos only for lunch again?” Joel asked you, chuckling a little, pulling a chair on the newly vacated table next to you.

You rolled your eyes, sitting down, opening your purse to get your card for him to get your lunch along with his.

“Nope, you paid yesterday, my turn,” he said, “The usual for lunch?” he asked, an eyebrow raised at you. He never missed an opportunity to make fun of your predictability when it came to your lunches here.

“Actually, I’m feeling a bit adventurous today. I think I’ll take the penne instead of the spaghetti,” you said, rather defensively, already seeing where he was going with this.

“Wow,” he said, eyes wide, a faux impressed look on his face. “And should I change the sauce to Alfredo instead?” he asked with a smirk, already knowing your answer.

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous.”

He guffawed, shaking his head as he went to get your adventurous lunch for you, penne pasta instead of spaghetti today, but with the usual red sauce.

The four of you had your lunch at that cafeteria every single day. At least you had been, for the last 273 days. Ellie and Sarah would eat and fight, you and Joel would talk and laugh. Sometimes, it would just be the two of you, the kids either at a playdate with some of the neighbourhood kids or out for some activities you would rather not know about with Tommy.

It wasn’t as if you couldn’t spend time together at other places or times, it’s just convenient. The only time in your busy schedules where the both of you were available. Plus, Sarah and Ellie gave the two of you the run for your money, far too active and happy for either of you to actually sit still and think, let alone talk like adults. At least here, they would be confined to the cafeteria.

So yeah, this was the only time the two of you could catch up. He was telling you about some problems with some wood supply, some specific order Tommy had managed to screw up, yet again, and you were telling him about your sister’s call that morning. She had broken up with her boyfriend, again, and was tearily telling you the tale. Oh, and a new batch of interns came in, one particularly good looking, she had managed to insert through her sobs, making Joel choke on his water.

The two of you met years ago, when he had just started his business. He renovated your parents’ house, and got along so well your friendship extended all the way beyond the job. You were so young then, just starting out in the world, and the two of you somehow managed to navigate through life together, job changes for you, flipping houses for him, moving to a neighbourhood you both loved, dating, marriage, your sister’s antiques, and eventually, Sarah and Ellie. But as it always did, life got overwhelming and busy, so these quiet times, just the two of you in a noisy cafeteria were very much welcomed, even if there were two screaming girls sat in between.

“Any progress today?” he asked, signalling the end of the happy, laughter-filled afternoon, as he pushed his plate away, taking Sarahs to place on top of his.

You shook your head, smiling a little. “You?” you asked, doing the same with your plate and Ellies, the now empty little cups of Jellos sliding as you moved the plate to put on top of yours.

“Nah, more of the same,” he said, unscrewing the cap to the water he was holding, coaxing Sarah to drink some more.

“Can we go play on the slides?” Ellie asked, looking at the plastic mini playground at the corner of the cafeteria, now devoid of players, lunchtime now over.

“Yeah, just 5 minutes okay? We need to go soon,” Joel said. The two of you watched as the two of them ran over to the site, holding hands, gleeful at the small window of opportunity to slide a full yard down from the wobbly structure.

“How’d therapy go today?” he asked, head down now, too.

You shrugged. “Same old same old. Dive deep into what I’m really feeling. If I knew, I wouldn’t need fucking therapy,” you answered, eyes making sure the kids were nowhere near to hear your choice of language.

“I know, it’s just something we have to go through. It’s a process,” he said, eyes looking up to look into yours. But you looked away.

“Are we going to be okay?” you asked, head down, playing with the wet wipe you had used to wipe Ellie’s hands.

“Hey,” Joel placed his hand on yours, moving to the chair Ellie just vacated, “We’ll be fine. We cannot give up. Not now. Not yet,” he coaxed, his massive hands sandwiching yours, lifting them up to kiss your knuckles.

“It’s just…” you started, the words lost in your thoughts, your tears pooling in your eyes.

“Hard, I know. But we’re working on it, right? We’ll be okay. One way or another, we’ll be okay.”

“One way or another?” you asked, tears now falling on to your cheeks. He cupped your face in his hands, wiping them away with his thumbs.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to sound that way, but we have to be realistic. So yeah. One way or another. Either things go back to normal, or they don’t. But we will be okay. Either way. I promise.”

The idea that things may not go back to normal choked you. You started sobbing, and he surged forward and took you in his arms, kissing your temple, your hair, shushing you, coaxing you, all the while letting you cry into his shoulder.

You calmed down in his arms. He had always managed to soothe you, whatever the circumstances. That was how you knew you could depend on him, ever since he managed to keep you calm even as he was literally ripping the wall in your parents’ kitchen down. Throughout your relationship, every heartbreak, every failure, every drop of tears, he was there to calm you. Even when you got married, he was the calming presence in your life.

Joel found himself calming down as he held you, having hidden his own anxiety at the situation from you. You may not realize it, but in calming you down, he always found himself being calmed down by you. You always told him how he was the one person who could calm you down, and never believed him when he told you that you did the same for him. But you did, and he kept on telling you that, even if he knew you would never, ever believe him.

He held you until you stopped sobbing, breathing in the smell of your hair, while you breathed in his shoulder, careful not to turn your face towards his exposed neck, knowing that that was a line you shouldn’t cross.

He pulled back, hands on your face again, wiping your tears away. He studied your face, his eyes full of sadness and regret, flicking towards your quivering lips, just as your own did the same to his plush ones.

“We shouldn’t,” you whispered.

His chest tightened, but he nodded, agreeing with you. He settled by kissing your forehead instead, taking in deep breaths to keep stock of the way you smell, as you did the same to the whiff of his familiar smell that was invading your senses.

He let go of your face, taking your hands in his, getting up, pulling you up with him as he did so. “Come on girls, time to go,” he said as you gathered your stuff up.

The four of you walked to the elevator, silent now, the fun time over. Even the girls understood it. They held your hands, walking along without giving the two adults any trouble, following obediently, standing still in the elevator as you rode up the floors.

You walked along the corridor, you and Joel giving each other resigned looks, before stopping between two doors.

“Same time tomorrow?” he asked.

You nodded, “Same time tomorrow.”

With that, the two of you separated, you with Ellie, him with Sarah, going into the two rooms, closing the doors behind you.

A man and a woman laid unconscious in the two respective rooms, surrounded by wires, feeding tubes, breathing tubes, everything calm and quiet save for the machines beeping, and the heavy breathing from the patients.

Joel stood next to his wife, taking her hand in his. “Hi Carol.”

You took your husband’s hand in yours, caressing it. “Hi Dave.”

“How are you doing today sweetheart? You feel like finally waking up?”