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Rook had to admit, she was jealous.
The almost kiss had deluded her into thinking that Lucanis was interested in her. Not to mention the other interactions they'd been having recently. Whenever Rook would enter the kitchen, he'd be staring. When he needed to get past her, he'd grab her waist, his touch lingering just a bit too long as he slid past, making her breath hitch with excitement. The way he'd come up to whisper in her ear when she was busy sent chills down her spine. By all accounts, he must have been interested in her.
So then why , was he giving Neve all his attention on the battlefield. Constantly complimenting her style, her form during fights. And at the lighthouse he'd fix her coffee alone, playfully bantering with her. Neve seemed to pick up on it, and always had a knowing look on her face. She'd flirt back, in that smooth buttery voice of hers, and he'd split into a wide grin only she received. It infuriated Rook to no end. She was starting to wonder if Lucanis was even into her anymore.
Maybe she had gone too far, flirting with him that day in the pantry. Maybe Neve just intrigued him more than she did. Either way, she was jealous.
So she spent many hours in her room, idly lying on her chaise as she overthought every single interaction with Lucanis in her mind, searching for a moment she could have messed up.
After Arlathan Crater, she'd started to get fed up with it. It started as Rook bringing Neve along less, though it wasn't her intent. She usually brought Lucanis and Neve everywhere with her, especially in Minrathous. But she didn't have it in her to bring Neve along and have to hear even more of their flirting. It shamed her to no end that she was feeling such petty jealousy.
Then, she started bringing Lucanis along less. This time it was on purpose. She didn't want the painful reminder that she had essentially been rejected without even a chance to get off the ground. She felt like she was hanging on the edge by her fingers, and Lucanis was up top dancing on them.
If the other team members noticed anything, they didn't say it, though she saw Bellara and Emmrich exchange a glance more than once. She had a feeling an intervention was imminent, and was eager to avoid it.
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She entered the kitchen one day to find Bellara, Neve, and Lucanis at the table enjoying some coffee and some sort of dessert. It looked cookie-like. Rook almost turned tail and ran, but the growling in her stomach spurred her on, making her head deeper into the kitchen.
She acknowledged Bellara and Neve with a nod, but couldn't bring herself to address Lucanis. She was still feeling rejected. Walking over to the kitchenette, she started to fix herself something to eat.
“So, Rook.” Bellara spoke from behind her. “We were just talking about good meals we haven't had in a while.”
Rook thought for a moment, a small smile coming to her. Fond memories of Minrathous flashed by, and her time with the Shadow Dragons.
“Honestly,” She began, tapping her chin thoughtfully in jest as she turned. “It's gotta be the rare, elusive home cooked meal. Or maybe the delightful banquet of stale bread and a hunk of cheese.” She smiled at Bellara, but avoided Neve and Lucanis. She was treading a dangerous line already, ignoring them so openly, so she was trying to not make it as obvious.
Bellara rolled her eyes, giggling. “Is that what you used to eat?”
“We meant more like an actual meal, Rook. Like Khachapuri.” Neve chuckled. “Lucanis said he was craving these, what did you call them, Lucanis?”
“Hojaldrinas” He said, and his smooth voice made Rook get goosebumps. Did he normally talk like that? She wasn't sure, and that bugged her. Maybe she was just sensitive to his…everything. “They're made with animal fat, but they're so good.” He picked up the plate and stood, making his way towards Rook. Was she imagining his saunter, his confident demeanor? It seemed so unlike him, and while it was intriguing, it seemed almost robotic. Like he was struggling to keep a facade. She hadn't noticed that before.
She gave him a questioning look as he approached. He offered the plate with an awkward smile that looked genuine, but she couldn't tell anymore. She picked up one of the pieces and took a bite. The flavors exploded on her tongue, the sweet sugar and the fried richness. It was an excellent flavor profile, and she found herself closing her eyes and humming in delight.
When she opened her eyes, she found that Bellara and Neve were staring at her, or rather at the two of them, her and Lucanis. She glanced up at Lucanis, and saw his expression for a mere second before he turned away to go sit back down.
He was embarrassed . Why? She wanted to get a closer look at his face, but he sat facing away from her, sipping at his coffee. It would be very obvious if she tried to look.
Suddenly the sound of water filled her ears, and she whipped around to see the pot she had placed on the fire was overflowing.
“Damn!” She rushed back over, setting the cookie off to the side. Quickly adjusting the pot, she sighed.
Neve came up behind Rook, and peered into the pot. “What are you making?”
Rook bristled, but couldn't outright ignore her. “Just some potatoes. I don't have it in me to make something complicated right now.” She replied curtly.
“I hope you'll make something tastier when it's your turn for dinner tomorrow.” She joked, elbowing Rook in the side.
Rook frowned, but inwardly knew she was just being her usual self. It was Rook who was acting odd. Maybe that's what drew Lucanis to Neve in the first Place. She turned away so Neve couldn't see her frown. She didn't want to upset Neve, she didn't deserve that. Jealousy was not a good look.
“Don't worry. I'll make sure it's extra tasty. I plan on making that khachapuri. Which apparently you guys have been craving? If I'd known I would have picked better bread and nicer cheese.” She attempted to joke, to mask her seething under the surface.
Neve whistled, a happy note, apparently not noticing Rook's facial expression. “Oh, that's great. You can't go wrong with bread and cheese.”
Bellara noticed, however, because when Rook turned, she was making a face at Rook. She glanced at Lucanis, motioning something to him that Rook didn't understand. She got another pang of jealousy. Did Lucanis get along with everyone better than her? They had their own signal system?
Rook's appetite was gone. “Actually, I think I came here too early.” She grabbed the pot off the fire and sat it down on the counter, laying next to the unpeeled potatoes. She turned tail and walked out of the kitchen with as much speed as she could without drawing too much attention to herself.
What she didn't notice, was the looks that the three of them gave each other as she left.
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Rook spent most of the rest of the day sequestered in her room, once again overthinking the interaction. Lucanis had completely shut down after the cookies, and she didn't know why. Was it something she had done? It didn't matter. She had once again been the outsider in a situation.
As much as she was sarcastic and joked around with her team, she felt a bit disconnected from them. Meant to be the leader but constantly overshadowed.
Lucanis was the only one who had, at least for a time, treated her equally. But even that had ended when they almost kissed. Now he treated her…well he was hot and cold. One minute Rook would get her hopes up, like when he touched her, or offered her food like he had in the kitchen earlier that day. Then he would disappear, not to be seen or heard besides flirting with Neve right in her earshot. It always happened when she was around, and never when she was away. Maybe if she didn't hear it, it wouldn't hurt so much.
She buried her face in her pillow and groaned when there was a knock at the door.
“What is it?” She called out, really not wanting to entertain anyone. She threw the pillow over the couch, letting it land with a soft *pluff* sound.
It was Davrin’s voice that cut through, as his head peeked around the doorway. “It's just me, Rook. It's dinnertime. It's Bellara's turn for dinner. She made some Dalish stew.”
Rook's stomach growled, but she ignored it. She thought about seeing Lucanis, and Neve, and dealing with their flirting made her stomach turn too much to eat.
“Not hungry!” She called out.
She heard Davrin sigh. “You say that, but we know you didn't eat any breakfast either, Rook. You've got to eat eventually.”
Rook agreed. And she had a plan tonight, to sneak in after everyone had gone to bed. She would go to the kitchen and steal some apples from the bushel they kept by the door for snacking. It was selfish, but she just wanted to avoid Lucanis.
Davrin opened the door fully and stepped inside, revealing Bellara was behind him.
“Rook, please come to dinner. We know it's awkward between you and…and Lucanis right now, but you need to eat. I made that stew you liked last time! The one with the mushrooms.”
Rook sat up quickly, staring at the two of them. “Awkward? Between me and Lucanis? Where would you get that idea?”
Bellara's lip twisted, and she shared a look with Davrin. Rook recognized it as the same look she gave Lucanis in the pantry. Damnit, was everyone in on some kind of secret but her?
“But, Rook…”
Rook smiled gently at Bellara. “Bellara, I'm fine , really. I just need some time to recover from Arlathan Crater. I'll be up and at ‘em and back to vanquishing dragons and saving damsels in no time!”
She looked skeptical, but nodded. “If you say so. I'll put aside some stew for you in case you decide to come have some.”
“Thank you Bel.”
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Rook waited until she was absolutely certain everyone was asleep before she crept into the kitchen. You could never tell what time of day it was at the lighthouse, so she listened at their doors for their steady breathing. Once she had ensured they were either asleep or relaxing, she headed inside.
There was no one there, luckily. She didn't bother checking Lucanis's door. He wouldn't be asleep, but if she was quiet enough, he wouldn't hear her.
She picked up the bowl of stew still sitting at her spot at the table, getting a pang of shame deep in her chest. It was cold, after hours of sitting out. She was starting to distance herself from everyone, in order to distance herself from Lucanis. That wasn't fair, but she couldn't help it. She would try harder.
She ate as quickly and as quietly as possible, not letting her utensils hit the side of the bowl as best she could. This was something where her rogue training came in handy. She was used to fine details. She was so absorbed in being quiet, she didn't even hear Lucanis enter the kitchen from the pantry.
“Rook.”
Startled, Rook dropped her spoon. She looked up at him begrudgingly. He was staring at her with a mixed expression. Something between worry and sadness, with a bit of anger mixed in.
“What are you doing up?” He asked, his voice matching his face. That tinge of worry, which made Rook's heart flutter.
She couldn't stop the sarcastic response from falling out. “Oh , you know. Just avoiding sleep. Who needs rest anyway? I mean you seem to get along without it!” She smiled at him, the corners of her mouth tight.
“And eating cold soup, Instead of eating it with everyone else.” He walked over, his stance unsure. He seemed more…awkward, than he had been recently? He had started acting flirtatious and cocky since killing Zara, but none of that was on display here. A touch of vulnerability was at play. “You haven't been acting like yourself.” He leaned over her, reaching a hand out to feel her forehead. “And you've been ignoring us.”
A scoff also slipped out before Rook could stop it. “Sure, and you have ? Shouldn't you be with Neve right now?” She snapped.
“Why would I be going to visit Neve?” Lucanis asked, his face twisted into an alarmed expression.
Rook stared. The audacity of this man. ‘Why would I be going to visit Neve'? The gall.
“Are you kidding me?” She laughed, shocked at his reaction. “Why wouldn't you? I see how you act around her. She is clearly your type.” She slapped his hand away and stood up, starting towards the door.
Lucanis grabbed her hand. When she turned, he looked forlorn, and a little lost. “I ah…mierda. I'm not sure what I want to say…”
“Then don't say it.” She attempted to wrench her hand free, but he held tight. “Let go.”
“Rook, please.” He pulled her closer, looking down at her with a pathetic look. “I just want to talk to you.”
His big brown eyes melted her. As angry as she was, she still liked him, and that was holding her back. “Fine. Talk, then.”
Lucanis pulled her back to her seat, and he sat down at the table beside her. When he spoke, his voice was soft.
“I didn't mean to push you away, Rook. It was Neve's idea.”
And there he goes, mentioning her again. But the actual words he was speaking confused her. “What do you mean it was her idea? What in Thedas are you talking about?” She glared at him, and he seemed to wither under her gaze, looking upset.
“I…am not good with romance.” He said. That almost made her scoff again, but she managed to push it down as he continued to speak. “So I went to Neve for advice on how to…woo you.”
Rook stopped still, her heart racing. “What?” She was still confused, but the hopeful part of her heart was working in overtime. “Then why would you flirt with Neve?”
“Like I said, it was her idea. Well, her and Bellara. They thought, since you are so impulsive…goading you into acting more impulsive would make it easier to flirt like we did the first time.”
Rook stared at him. She had never heard a more stupid plan in her life. It didn't even make sense! Why would she act more impulsive, did they think she was that possessive? Then she actually thought about it.
“You went to Bellara and Neve for romance advice? What could have possessed you to do that? No one on this team has been in a stable, long term relationship.” She said, the anger coming back a little.
Lucanis flushed a bit, and he laid his hands on the table before burying his face in them. “Urgh… At least they have more experience than I do. And Bellara said it worked in one of her serials.”
Rook almost groaned. All this stress, the avoiding, the jealousy. It was all a moot point. Lucanis was trying to flirt with her, in a very strange way.
Wait.
Lucanis was trying to flirt with her! Her heart sped up, making her own face turn red, as goosebumps raised on her arms. “You are an idiot, Lucanis.” She said, and was surprised at how soft her voice was.
“I deserve that. Just…please stop avoiding me. I never meant to upset you that badly.” He asked, reaching for her hand. She allowed him to take it, as he looked at her with those puppy-dog eyes.
She looked at the floor. On one hand, she was ecstatic. He liked her, he really did! But on the other…his communication needed some work.
“This could have all been avoided if you just talked with me.” She said, her voice still soft but with a certain sharp edge to it. “I'm feeling a little betrayed, to be honest…”
Dismayed, he searched her eyes. “I'm really sorry, Rook. I don't know what I can do to make it up to you.”
Rook didn't know what he could do either, but she knew what she wanted to start with.
“You're…I feel like I want to kiss you, but I'm afraid this is all a dream. That I'm still asleep and when I wake up, you'll still be flirting with Neve.”
He looked surprised to hear her confession. “You still want me, after all that?”
Rook nodded, biting her lip. “Y-yea. I do.”
Lucanis grinned. “I'm so relieved to hear that. When you started avoiding me, Rook…I thought you weren't interested in me anymore. Bellara even said we should stop, but Neve thought…”
“Can you stop talking about her so much?” Rook sighed. “Even when I'm asking you to kiss me you talk about her. I admit it, you've got me jealous. It worked.”
“Asking me to…?” He trailed off, the gears clearly turning in his head before he grinned again. “Ah. I'm sorry to make you wait so long, mi amor.”
And he leaned in. Rook tried to wait, she really did, but when he paused midway, she couldn't help herself. She dove forward, kissing him with the fervor of her anger. She gripped at his jacket as she tried to ground herself in the moment.
His lips were oh so soft. And while he was clumsy, he was dedicated, trying to match her energy to the best of his ability. And she was frantic. She truly couldn't believe she was here, in this moment. Since their moment in the pantry, she couldn't wait to have him like this.
Their kiss lasted until she was forced to pull away, though not lasting nearly long enough for her tastes. She licked her lips, and giggled slightly. When he looked at her confused, she shrugged.
“You taste like coffee.” She explained, mirth in her voice, and she pulled him closer.
Lucanis's face turned a bit more red and he chuckled deeply. “You'll have to get used to the taste. I drink a lot of it.”
Rook smiled, and kissed him again, but lighter, almost merely a brush of their lips. “Oh, I don't think I need to get used to it. I quite like it.” She let go of him reluctantly. “I want you to promise me something, though.”
“Anything.” He quickly replied, reaching for her again.
“Next time, just ask me on a date.”
“I can do that.”