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7 hour flight (or 45 minute drive)

Summary:

Deku steps out of the car, and takes Katsuki's cheer with him. Not that there was much in the first place.

"You okay, dude?" Eijirou asks, and Katsuki releases a small tch. Despite everything, Eijirou's eyes track the movement of his lips.

"Damn nerd," Katsuki curses, more heartfelt than he'd been in days. Eijirou bites his tongue of the vitriol that wants to come out most days, but Katsuki doesn't make it easy. Never does. Not when he's chasing after a shadow of a person who no longer exists.

Notes:

i made myself so sad writing this UGHHH. i was talking to zay (hi zay bae) about how i wanted to write some krbk angst and well. this happened lol.

also pls do not go into this expecting a character bashing fic <3 it is just sad and full of complex emotions and i wanted to get my feelings out

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Deku steps out of the car and takes Katsuki's cheer with him. Not that there was much in the first place. 

"You okay, dude?" Eijirou asks, and Katsuki releases a small tch. Despite everything, Eijirou's eyes track the movement of his lips. 

"Damn nerd," Katsuki curses, more heartfelt than he'd been in days. Eijirou bites his tongue of the vitriol that wants to come out most days, but Katsuki doesn't make it easy. Never does. Not when he's chasing after a shadow of a person who no longer exists. "Never thinks about himself." 

And you never think about me. The discontent burns. It's a familiar pain. Katsuki doesn't notice, too busy gazing off into the distance with a faraway look in his eyes. 

"He'll be fine." 

Eijirou can see the exact moment Katsuki gathers himself back up⁠—hands gripping the steering wheel so tight his knuckles turn white, forcing a lightness to his face that cracks around the edges. Eijirou would have even believed the cheery demeanour if he didn't know Katsuki as well as he did. 

"I'm sure," Katsuki replies, and Eijirou can never be mad at him, not when he looks like this⁠— like every word he exhales tears him limb for limb. It would have been easier to hate him if Eijirou didn't know how hard Katsuki tries, if he didn't know the care he holds for Izuku was a part of what makes him Katsuki. 

Eijirou had never wanted to change him, but maybe that would have made the ache in his heart hurt less. Would have been easier to come to terms with. 

Would have made it easy to leave. 

As it was, all he can do is match him smile for painful smile, and tug Katsuki into a kiss. Katsuki takes a minute to relax into it, like he always does⁠, even years into their relationship—cupping the back of Eijirou's neck with one hand while the other rests on his thigh. Despite it all, Eijirou feels safe in Katsuki's arms, knowing a part of Katsuki belongs to him and him alone. 

Katsuki breaks away, and for a moment, Eijirou sees the emotions flickering across his face, flashing away too quick for him to untangle. 

Not for the first time, Eijirou wonders if Izuku would have been able to decipher it. 

But Izuku had stopped trying, somewhere along the way. That anger flashes hot, and it never abates. 

Eijirou can't be mad at Katsuki, and maybe that was the problem. Katsuki breaks away and leans his head against the steering wheel for a moment⁠—a rare moment of vulnerability Eijirou finds himself privileged to see. 

Doesn't it feel like you're a consolation price? Someone had asked him once. Maybe he should feel more anger, but all he can feel is the ache in his chest that refuses to dissipate. That aches for Katsuki. Eijirou's known him for a long time, and maybe that was his curse. 

Katsuki had always been unreachable, and maybe Eijirou would have been angrier if it had been anyone else. 

As it is, he leans back in the seat of Katsuki's car, and pretends he doesn't notice the wetness in Katsuki's cheeks. 

"Let's go home?" Eijirou asks, and he can do this at least. Can make Katsuki's suffering lesser even if he feels his heart breaking day by day. 

It would be easier to hate Katsuki if his heart wasn't broken, too. If his hadn't been broken a long time ago. 

Katsuki nods, and they head off. 

If Eijirou squints, he can swear he could see Katsuki's eyes searching for Izuku along the sidewalks. 

Notes:

comments and kudos mean the world <3

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