Chapter Text
Andrew could sense the storm brewing in his junkie the moment they’d woken up.
It was just about two weeks after their first scene together, and Neil had woken in a foul mood. He silently drank his coffee and got dressed, irritable at everything. And it seemed like the world was in on it too, because Andrew hadn’t had so many things go wrong in a very long time.
First, one of the new freshmen on the team decided to park in the spot they usually took. Neil didn’t usually care, but Andrew suspected Neil was having a bad pain flair up and it set Neil off fuming as they had to park almost a block away. Andrew caught him limping on the way and quietly let Wymack know.
Then the team was being very uncooperative. They picked fights with with each other the entire time, going at each other’s throats as Neil attempted to keep the peace. He yelled at Jack after Jack bitched at Renee in goal, and Jack kicked him hard in his bad knee. The speed at which Andrew had the freshmen pinned to the wall was impressive, but apparently less so to his irritable sub who snapped at Andrew to let him go.
After practice, Andrew silently took Neil to Abby to get his knee looked at. Abby let them know it was probably a flare up that would be exacerbated by Jack’s lovely stunt earlier. Abby informed Neil he wasn’t to run and to avoid doing anything that would put more stress on his knee.
Neil left the office with an even shorter fuse than the one he’d arrived with. Andrew gave up trying to quietly support him and called Betsy.
“Andrew!” Bee said warmly, “What a lovely surprise. What has you calling me?”
Andrew explained what was going on. Bee listened intently, asking brief questions before finally telling him what she thought.
“Well,” she said, “Subs like Neil often require more attention, especially when he’s never had the chance to experience subspace before your scene.”
“Subs like Neil? What do you mean?”
“Neil, as you may have noticed, is a submissive with very high needs. And those needs have not been cared for since, well…ever,” Betsy said gently, “You told me that when you got him into subspace, it took almost an entire day for him to come back up. What that tells me is that although the average submissive requires subspace at least once a month to remain healthy, he may need it more often. I could of course be wrong- his mood may simply be because of his flare up.”
“No, no,” Andrew said, thinking it over. “Your explanation makes sense. How often do you think he’ll need subspace then?”
“Well, considering it took two weeks for this particular foul mood to pop up, I would say, ten days for now. If he begins exhibiting symptoms like these again before that mark, of course go straight ahead and help him down, but I think it’s a safe bet.”
“That’s three times a month,” Andrew observed. “You think that would help?”
“I do. If you need help talking to him about it, I am happy to offer up my office as a space,” Bee offered warmly, “However, given how much he seemed to have enjoyed it the first time, I can’t imagine he will react poorly.”
Andrew found himself agreeing. A soft smile quirked his lips before he responded, “I’ll talk to him. Thanks, Bee.”
“Anytime, Andrew. Let me know if I can help you with anything else.”
“Will do,” he said, full of warmth for the therapist, before hanging up.
He made his way back into the living room, where Neil was curled up on the couch watching an exy game. Andrew took a moment to admire his rabbit’s muscled form, leaning in the door frame. He hummed quietly. “Neil.”
Neil’s figure froze before he turned to see the dominant in the doorway to their room. “Andrew,” he replied, glancing at the spot next to him in invitation.
Andrew made his way over and sat down, turning so it was clear he needed Neil’s full attention. “You were in a mood today.”
“I know,” Neil’s eyes slid away and he stared down at the carpet. He fought the urge to cower in front of Andrew. Despite the lack of disappointment in Andrew’s voice, he felt like his lover was annoyed with him. “I- I don’t know what’s going on with me, I swear.”
“Breathe,” Andrew said gently, letting his hand rise to cup Neil’s cheek. “I’m not upset with you. I’m just worried about you.”
Neil pressed into the touch subconsciously, seeking out Andrew’s warmth. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. Listen, I talked to Bee about it, okay? She has an idea about what’s going on,” Andrew said carefully, gently stroking Neil’s cheek with his thumb. Neil stiffened a bit nervously. Andrew took that in stride and allowed his hand to drop, entangling their fingers together. “I know, I know, I’m sorry. I promise I wouldn’t have gone to her if I weren’t truly worried about you, okay?”
Neil gave him a tiny nod, uncertain of what he was going to say.
Andrew took a breath. “Bee said your internal clock may need subspace again.”
Neil blinked. “Already? But we just-”
“I know,” Andrew agreed, “The average submissive should aim for once a month if possible. Bee thinks your clock is different because of your time on the run.”
“Dad never ceases to cause me problems,” Neil said, releasing a breath. “How- how often does she think…”
“Every ten days.”
Neil spluttered. He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting, but it sure as hell wasn’t that. “Ten- that’s three times the amount of a normal sub!”
“Yes,” Andrew agreed gently, “But it’s necessary. You know Bee, she wouldn’t suggest this if she didn’t think it would be good for you.”
Neil stared at Andrew with uncertainty. He liked subspace, he really did, but he didn’t like how long it had taken him to come back up. He hesitated before speaking up. “But…I was out for almost a day last time. I can’t- I can’t afford that every ten days.”
“The thing about that, Neil,” Andrew said gently, moving so he was sitting in front of the striker and taking his hands in his own. “Is that it was your first time. It may take a while, but eventually it won’t take a such a huge toll on you. And even if it does, it’s healthier to accept it than to avoid it. Right?”
Hesitantly, Neil nodded. He refused to meet Andrew’s eyes, feeling like a failure for needing more than the average submissive needed. Andrew stole his chin in his hand and forced him to meet his eyes. “Now, why don’t we plan ourselves a scene, yeah?”
Neil nodded again, a bit anxious when he considered. He wondered if Andrew would want more than Neil did, or even get irritated that Neil required more. Neil couldn’t help his nails digging into his palms as his worries set in.
Andrew clocked it instantly. “Rabbit,” he said carefully, “Talk to me. What’s going on.”
“I don’t want you to hate me,” Neil gasped out as the panic hit him. “I don’t- I don’t want you to feel- feel obliged to do this with me. To feel frustrated if I want less or more than you do, I just-” he wheezed a bit, struggling to catch his breath. Why was he struggling to catch his breath?
Andrew instantly leaned forward, “Hey, hey, hey. Focus on me. Breathe.”
“I can’t- I can’t breathe,” he gasped out, closing his eyes tightly as the world spun around him.
“Yes, you can,” Andrew said gently. He squeezed Neil’s hand. “It’s a panic attack Neil.”
Panic attack? He’d never had one of those before. He pried his eyes open, fighting to focus on his soulmate’s figure. He shook his head desperately, “No- no I can’t breathe-”
“Feel my heart,” Andrew commanded, moving Neil’s hand to settle over his heart. He wasn’t sure if it would work, but he had an inkling. He knew music could soothe him well enough, the rhythms lulling him into peace.
Instantly it became clear Andrew was correct. Neil focused on the steady heartbeat, sagging in his spot after a moment of feeling it beat. Andrew moved closer, tucking him close to his chest so he could listen to his heartbeat as well as feel it. “You and I are both alive,” Andrew said softly, “We’re breathing, our hearts are beating, and we are in perfect sync, hmm?”
Neil didn’t think they were in perfect sync, but at Andrew’s words he found himself matching the dominant’s breaths, and his heart slowed down to a steady rhythm. As he calmed, he curled into Andrew’s chest. He hadn’t noticed the tears before, but felt Andrew carefully wipe them away.
“‘M sorry,” Neil mumbled.
“None of that now. You have nothing to apologize for. I do have some things I think I need to clear up for you though,” Andrew brushed hair out of the exhausted striker’s eyes. He pressed a kiss to his forehead and began to speak, “I don’t hate you. Not even when I say I do. I would also like to remind you that I’m the one who brought this up, sweetheart. We don’t have to scene when one of us doesn’t feel like it, and it is certainly not up to you to worry about whether or not something is too much for me, got it? That’s not your job, it’s mine. Okay?”
Neil nodded, rubbing his eyes. “Okay.”
“If you don’t feel like scening today, Neil, we don’t have to,” Andrew said gently, “I brought it up because I felt it would benefit you, not because it’s a necessary thing we must do right this moment.”
“But…you want to?”
Andrew scanned Neil’s face, searching. He decided on an answer after a moment, “I do. I enjoy scening with you Neil. Hell, Bee could have suggested we scene every day and I wouldn’t have cared. It’s not about the scene, Neil. It’s about you and it’s about me. It’s about making sure we each get into our spaces so that we can stay healthy and happy. Scening is fun, yes, and it can be intense but it doesn’t have to be. Our scene that we did two weeks ago, remember that?”
Neil nodded softly, thinking back to it.
“It was emotionally intense for you, but not physically. We can always switch it up and do it differently, turn down the intensity. Or turn it up, if we decide that’s better for us. Right?”
“R-Right,” Neil agreed. “And…and if I said…”
“Go on.”
“If I said that I would really like it to be…more intense this time. That would…be okay?” Neil said in a tiny voice.
Neil usually wasn’t so worried about pleasing anyone. However, ever since that first scene, he found himself anxiously seeking out Andrew’s approval. It wasn’t like him, and Andrew wanted to try and get him to talk it out with Betsy, but he also supposed it was perfectly natural for a naïve submissive who was finally connecting with a dominant they trusted.
Andrew nodded firmly. “More than okay. Are you up for a scene today, Neil, or would you rather wait?”
“I’m up for it,” Neil decided, noticing the ache in his chest soaring when he agreed.
“Perfect,” Andrew offered a reassuring smile. “Can you tell me what you need from this?”
Neil considered, fidgeting with Andrew’s hand. Andrew let him, patiently waiting for Neil’s response. “Rope, I liked the rope. I think I want…intense both emotionally and physically?”
“Degrading or praise?”
Neil squirmed, “Both?”
“I can do that. Sexual?”
“Yes,” Neil said, “But I would like it if you would only touch my dick, nothing in my ass tonight.”
“That’s more than okay,” Andrew said sincerely. “Toys?”
“Yes.”
“Pain?”
Neil nodded, “Yes, pain. I liked the flogger from last time, but maybe we can try a paddle tonight?”
Andrew nodded approvingly, proud of the submissive for speaking up. He allowed his mind to go wild, carefully concocting a scene that would fit all of Neil’s requests as well as ensure Neil was able to reach subspace safely. He kissed the top of Neil’s head. “I can work with this.”
—
Neil couldn’t help but feel a bit nervous as Andrew secured a blindfold around his eyes. He was tied in a standing position, with his arms stretched above his head and his feet each pushed to the side so his ankles could be secured as well. He squirmed a little uncertainly.
“Safe words?”
Neil told him. He received a chuckle in response. “Good boy.”
Neil shivered at that, leaning into a gentle touch Andrew ghosted down his side.
“Tonight, darling, I want to hear you. I won’t be going very easy on you, so use your safe words the moment you feel you need to. I’ll also be checking in here and there, so be ready for that. I do have one job for you to focus on: don’t you dare fucking move.” Andrew growled the last sentence into Neil’s ear, who squeaked in surprise and jerked. Andrew smacked his ass in response, earning a gasp.
He was done for, Neil decided as he strained to hear Andrew’s footsteps melt away in the direction of their closet. He fought not to squirm as his dominant returned, whimpering quietly and a tad anxiously as well.
“You’re going to be so good for me,” Andrew told him, holding a paddle up to his ass and teasingly rubbing it against him. “Aren’t you?”
“Yes,” Neil said, heart leaping out of his chest.
Without warning, Andrew paddled him once. “Yes, what?”
Neil squeaked, flinching at the strike. “Sir- yes, sir!”
Andrew tutted. “Now, sweet. We’re going to do something very fun. Well, fun for me, maybe not for you. Every time you flinch or move, I’m going to add it to a nice little tally you can’t see. When I’m done paddling you, I’ll tell you how many tallies you have. For each tally mark will be a minute with the vibe on high, do you understand?”
Neil whimpered, “Yes, sir.”
“Good boy. Don’t move!” Andrew said gleefully.
It took Neil longer than it had before to find the silky ribbon, and really when he finally felt it, it had gotten a hold on him without him noticing, his focus on following Andrew’s directives as best as he could. He flinched every once in awhile, struggling to stay still despite Andrew’s orders. Tears streamed down his face, but they were cathartic, tugging at his deep seated anxieties. He couldn’t help quietly crying out at each strike Andrew landed, doing his best not to move but knowing he was racking up offenses as time passed.
Andrew took a bit of pity on the submissive after awhile, noting the anxiety that was still slightly present in Neil’s tense shoulders. He carefully rubbed his shoulders, “You’re doing so well, rabbit, color?”
“G-green,” Neil said, leaning into Andrew’s kind touch. “I’m good.”
“Okay. I’m going to grab the vibe now, alright?”
Neil nodded, shivering a bit despite how warm he was.
Andrew got their wand, humming soothingly so Neil would know he hadn’t left him. Neil found himself sinking deeper into the warmth of subspace as Andrew had guided him there. Neil couldn’t help pressing into Andrew’s touch, who smiled to himself. Andrew carefully untied the blindfold. “There you are, pretty little slut. You being good for me?”
Neil nodded hopefully.
Andrew briefly reconsidered what he was about to do, but sadism won out, and he gripped Neil’s chin in a harsh grip. “Hmmm, darling. You really think you were? Are you lying to me?”
Neil gasped at Andrew’s manhandling, eyes going wide with shock at Andrew’s accusation, “N-no sir, no! I was trying to be good, I really was,” he pleaded, “I would never l-lie to you sir, not anymore!”
Andrew laughed lowly, “Then how did you end up with ten offenses, Junkie? Come on now, you know could have done better.”
“It- it hurt,” Neil whimpered, “I was- I was trying! I swear!”
Andrew hummed, making sure to keep an eye on the panic brewing in Neil’s eyes. He cupped the striker’s cheek, offering a bit of comfort as he continued, knowing Neil was going to be feeling incredibly raw and turned inside out after. “Hm…”
Neil watched Andrew desperately, feeling the panic in his body even as his mind focused on Andrew. “You have to believe me,” he whispered.
Andrew kissed his forehead and immediately relieved Neil of his fears. “Alright, rabbit, alright. I believe you.”
Neil could have collapsed and kissed Andrew’s feet. Instead, he began babbling, “Thank you sir, thank you, thank you, thank-”
“Oh hold up there, pretty boy. You still have ten offenses to pay for. Will you be good, sweetheart?”
“So- so good,” Neil promised, bobbing his head in agreement, “I’ll be- I’ll be so good for you-”
“Hush, rabbit,” Andrew purred and Neil went silent, focusing his adoring eyes up on the dominant. Andrew gently stroked Neil’s hair, soothing the frayed nerves. “I trust you. I know you would never let me down.”
“Never,” Neil agreed, bright blue eyes burrowing into Andrew. Andrew softened but refused to let Neil see it, bending down to gently kiss Neil’s eyelids.
“Color?” Andrew ordered. When Neil supplied green, he moved on, “Rope check.”
Neil carefully flexed his wrists and ankles, noting the slight ache in his shoulders that felt positively delicious. He dutifully informed Andrew, who looked about ready to immediately pull him down before Neil begged him not too. Andrew pursed his lips at that and said, “Fine. But you’re coming down immediately after the vibe, understand?”
“Yes, sir,” he said gratefully.
Andrew turned the vibe on, and Neil’s reaction to the sound was instantaneous. Neil simultaneously pressed into the touch and attempted to squirm away. His ignored dick was aching between his legs, and Andrew chuckled at Neil’s internal battle. He lubed the vibrator up before stroking him teasingly with his hand. Neil gasped at that and moaned, eyes fluttering as he leaned into the touch. Andrew let him enjoy it before gently turning the vibe up and pressing it to his tip as he began the timer.
“You know the rules,” Andrew smirked as Neil shivered and moaned loudly. “You may come, but I’m not turning this off unless you color out or reach the ten minute mark, right?”
“R-ri-right, sir,” Neil cried out, tears leaking prettily from his beautiful eyes. Andrew rubbed his back, continuing to follow Neil as he thrashed and fought the bindings to escape the onslaught. He babbled away, his words unintelligible to Andrew as he begged and pleaded for mercy.
Andrew nibbled on Neil’s ear and neck, mouthing at his collarbone when he reached there. He let his free hand curl around Neil’s body and took Neil’s dick in his hand, lazily jerking it as he murmured into the submissive’s ear. “Aren’t you just so pretty?” he murmured, and, “You’re trying so hard for me, I’m so proud.”
Neil began to sob around the six minute mark, shaking his head with absolute desperation, “S-sir!”
“Color,” Andrew said immediately, seeing his sub falling apart with wide eyes.
“Ye- yellow!”
Andrew drew the vibe away the moment Neil began the word, ceasing all touch. Neil gasped for air, panting. His eyes studied his submissive, who was shuddering in his binds, his arms holding him tighter to his chest.
“I’m sorry,” Neil said, “I’m- I’m fine, it was just a bit much.”
“No apologies, and you know you’re not supposed to say that,” Andrew said, holding him tightly to his chest. “Catch your breath. What’s wrong?”
Neil did, breathing in deeply and finally speaking up when he caught his breath. Andrew wouldn’t admit it if anyone ever asked him, but as he wrapped his arms around the calming sub, he felt himself calming as well. Neil finally spoke up minutes later. “I’m okay now. It was- I’m okay. I was just really close, and I really didn’t want to come because I knew it would hurt too much later, and then I panicked a bit too much about it and…” he shook his head. “I’m sorry, it sounds so stupid because I had permission but…”
“It’s not stupid,” Andrew soothed. “Do you want to stop, or continue? I can feel how close you are to subspace, we can get you there another way if you need.”
“I want to continue,” Neil said, cheeks red as he said so. “But could you…I know its a punishment but could you maybe turn it down a level or two?”
“Absolutely,” Andrew said without missing a beat.
The pair knew that other couples would perhaps be a bit more strict. But they weren’t other couples. They didn’t rely on ridiculous old societal pressures in their relationship, they didn’t need to. Perhaps Andrew’s desire to protect others came from his classification, and maybe Neil’s instincts to run came from his. Or maybe it was all because of circumstance. Neither cared. If Andrew needed care, Neil would provide. And if Neil needed to feel in control of his life for a few days, well, who was Andrew to tell him no?
Andrew set the vibrator on the halfway setting, reapplying lube and kissing Neil’s ear. As he gently pressed it back against Neil’s dick, the other jerked violently in his bindings and all at once, he was flying.
Andrew knew Neil had gotten there the moment Neil went silent and still, his head lolling sideways. Andrew smiled softly to himself now that Neil couldn’t hear him, gently moving the vibe up and down the submissive’s length as he watched Neil shudder slightly. The timer went off (in Andrew’s opinion, too soon), and Neil came suddenly, his whole body seizing with the force of it. Neil cried out weakly, and Andrew pumped him through the orgasm, only stopping when Neil went still. Andrew moved the soiled blanket in front of them to the side and gently wiped Neil’s body down before cutting Neil’s bindings and holding him against his chest.
Neil went, fully pliant in Andrew’s arms as he was moved, a spacey smile on his face as that ribbon of subspace tugged him into the depths.