Work Text:
If there was one thing Russell Adler was good at, it was wasting a good person's time. Especially if you had no value when it came to his work. After years of trying to convince him to just slow down and fully settle in with you with no avail, you stopped caring. Before you knew it, you were being slid divorce papers at the dinner table. He didn't want anything in the divorce other than his clothes, his personal belonging in his study, and those stupid sunglasses. He'd let you have the house, the valuables, and everything else as long as you wouldn't drag it out.
"It's nothing personal, dear." He said as you both left the court house, getting on his motorcycle as you saw him for the last time, you thought.
You had lived alone and as the war raged on in Vietnam, you stayed at home watching the news as you ate TV dinners and working shifts at the hospital. The war brought home a lot of bags, emotional and physical, and all you could do was lend a helping hand and kind words to the soldiers who came home, battered, and just as alone as you. You continued your work as your biological clocked ticked by and soon enough, the chances of ever having a life with a white picket fence and some knucklehead kids was gone. It never deterred you. Always coming into work with a smile.
It was 1989. You were working your first shift of the week and you were warned that the next room was a special patient. Flew in over the weekend and you were assigned to his room. Men in suits were walking in and out, coming to the nurses stations and being privy for any information on the man's care. You knew these types of men. CIA. Secretive. Just like Russell. So when you went in, you were expecting to see some politician or representative, but instead it was an unremarkable man. Taking a quick look at his chart, you read through some of the notes on his current condition. Gunshot to both knees. Complete loss of the ability to walk. You felt a bit sorry for the man, whatever happened to him must've been horrible.
"Hello Mr. Woods, I'm going to be one of the nurses you'll see during your stay. I just want to get some vitals and make sure you're doing okay, is that alright?" You said with a smile.
He lifted his head and you knew that look in his eyes. Loss. Pain. Torment. He just stared at you. It felt like hours had passed until he spoke, "You're too happy. The fuck is wrong with you? Also can you get me a smoke?"
"Mr. Woods, unfortunately, that is not prescribed to you and I would not recommend that with your recovery plan." You breezed through as if his first comments were unheard.
"Ah come on, Nurse Smiley, give me a break."
"Mr. Woods, please let me get a set of vitals and give you your medicine and maybe we can talk about getting you a smoke."
"That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, sure, come get them." He cracked a smile at you as you moved towards him. "The name's Frank, for your knowledge. Mr. Woods was my dad."
You hummed an acknowledgement as you did your task and you whispered to him as you got up, "Once you get cleared to go outside, I'll take you out and give you your smoke. That stays between you and me... Frank."
"Alright nurse, I'm going to hold you to that. Better get me the good stuff." He said, with a chuckle that left him wincing.
You pulled out the pack of Marlboro's you kept in your pocket and waving it in his face, you said, "Like this, Frank?"
Trying to reach out to grab the pack, he said, "C'mon, just one right now. I promise I won't say anything."
"Frank, you can't have one yet. But I promise, you'll get your chance. You're recovering quite well, so if you just hold out, I will give you the smoke you deserve."
"Alright, alright. I'll wait it out. But you better not be bullshitting me. By the way, why does a broad like you smoke anyway?" He looked at you with curiosity.
Getting quiet again, feeling the pain swell up in your chest, you said, "Bad habit I picked up from my ex-husband."
"Well, he fumbled you," He bluntly said.
A light blush peeked onto your cheeks as you registered his comment and you said, "Uh... Thanks, Frank"
"Take the compliment. You're a good looking face with an even prettier smile. Plus, you got the good stuff."
Giving him a smile and with your face blooming a shade of red, you said, "Alright, I'll take it. But don't think the compliments will get you any other special favors, okay?"
Another hearty chuckle and a wince later. "Sounds good to me, nurse. But you better not fall in love with this face of mine."
"Never in a million years. You look like hammered dog shit." You said, laughing and turning to leave.
"Hell yeah, nurse. That's what I'm talking about. Before you go, can you tell one of those other broads to get me a soda?"
"Frank, just for you, sure. Just stop fighting with them and I'm sure they'd be just as nice as me."
As you open the door and start to step out, you hear one more remark, "But then they'd be volunteering to be around me and why have them, when you're taking such great care of me?"
Over your shoulder, you laugh as you say, "Okay, Mr. Woods. I'll be back later." And you close the door.
Behind it you could hear a shout, "My name's fucking Frank!"
As time went on, Frank would be allowed to go out and he'd get his promised smoke. He would be a pain in the ass to anyone but you, so you were placed his primary nurse when on shift for the months following. On his final day at the hospital, you couldn't help but feel a bit sad. You felt like you were friends more than patient-nurse. He told you about his friend, Alex's kid and how he feels guilt about what happened to his friend. You never pressed him for details and he appreciated that. So when he asked you if you could do him one more favor, you took the opportunity.
"Listen, I know this isn't your responsibility, but I just given a job that could keep me out of the country for months at a time at random and I need somebody trustworthy to watch over Alex's kid, David. Good kid. You're the only person I can trust on this and you have a great head on your shoulders. You can always say no, but the kid needs someone to take care of him when I can't. He's being flown here right now and I don't know if I'm the right person for him. His parents are gone and I-" Starting to choke up, Frank had a pleading look in his eyes.
"Frank, while this is inappropriate on all levels of professionalism, I will help you." You said, smiling at him and scribbling onto a piece of paper. "I'm going to write down my house address and phone number. You know what shift I work, so call me when he gets settled in and I'd be more than happy to meet this David. If he's anything like how you described your friend, I'm sure he'll be a great guest."
"You're a saint, I hope you know that. If I ever meet that asshole that divorced you, I will make him well known how much he messed up a good thing." He said as he took the paper. "I'll call you later. I can never repay you for everything. Just know I'm in debt to you and I don't like owning debts to anyone, but I'm okay with this one." And he wheeled away to a car being chauffeured by another man in a suit. What were you getting yourself into?
You would eventually meet David. He was everything Frank said he'd be. Sweet kid, a bit reserved and obviously struggling with the loss of his father. Many "family dinners" and months passed. After a long talk with Frank, you finally convinced him to get the boy a shrink to help him through the loss of his father and help him acclimate with move. You never minded the oddity the situation was. It wasn't the future you hope for prior with Russell, but it was a family of sorts and you adored taking care of David. So when Frank told you he was in deep shit and he had to leave the country, you had no qualms with taking David in until Frank got back. You even had a room in your house that was decorated just for him.
Frank was at the Rook. They were no closer to getting Pantheon. Picking up a TV, he placed it on his lap and started to wheel forward. And crash. The TV had fallen. "Fuck me!"
Marshall walked over saying, "Yo. Ask for help, man."
Angry at his current predicament, he waved of Marshall with a "Fuck you, too."
Marshall couldn't stop himself as he said, "Fine. Have fun."
Feeling further defeat at the helplessness, he muttered gesturing to the broken TV and his legs, "Does it look like I was having fun?"
Registering what he said, Marshall felt guilt as he said, " No, that's- That's not what I meant." A silence and then, "You got dealt a bad hand."
"You're gonna get dealt bad hands, kid. With us, the stakes are high."
Walking towards Frank, "To be honest, I don't think I could've done it. Go back home after Panama." Picking up the TV and placing it on the desk. " Trusted anyone ever again."
A quick flash of you showing up in his mind, "You keep believing the one's that got your back." Then Adler showed up, "Who'll go to battle for you. Adler was one of those. When those records turned up after Panama, the wire transfers to Adler from Raul Menendez, two bit dope slinger, I smelt bullshit. Adler turn against his brother for cash?" A chuckle. "Are you kidding me?"
Marshall making an outward gesture, said, "Those threads he loves, they ain't cheap now."
A guffaw from Frank was followed with, "Listen, I know he can be a goddamn psychopath. I get it. But he's on our side. He just has his own way of doing things."
"I don't know what the rules are anymore." Marshall said, with a bit of defeat.
Frank seeing a bit of himself when he was young and thinking of what you'd say, he comforted Marshall with, "You're figuring it out, kid. Handling things, making calls. I just wish I was out there kicking ass with you." Letting himself be a bit vulnerable. "Kills me to be in this thing!"
"You're essential, man. Chair or no chair. I know you can't get around like you used to, but this," Marshall gesturing to his brain, "This is strong. Maybe you were Captain America before but now, now you're like Professor X."
Frank having no clue what he was talking about went, "Who? Get out of my face, man." And as he does, wheeled away to think.
He felt weak, helpless. Being confined to the wheelchair was angering, he was a cold blooded killer and now he feels like the shell of who he used to be. You never made him feel helpless though. Had him help you with dinner when he came over, made him carry the bags in when he came over to have you take care of David, made him get himself onto the sleeper sofa when he stayed over the night. You made him feel a sense of agency that other's didn't. They made him feel like he couldn't do anything on his own. It wouldn't matter here soon. Once this operation was over and Pantheon was unraveled, he could go back to you and David.
He had hoped to take on a more paternal role just as you'd taken on a maternal role to David. It was working. David was a moody 12 year old, but he'd never pass up the chance to be around you. Woods could tell you loved being a guardian and David loved having a person who would cheer him on. He just wondered what man would mess up his chances of having someone like you to come home to. You never broached the topic of who your ex-husband was and he didn't feel it was right to push. Little, did he know, the strings would unravel one night at the Rook.
Everyone was gathered around the fire and Marshall, popped the question, "Anyone waiting to go home and see someone special?"
A chorus of no's ensued, but Frank was quiet. He immediately thought of you.
Noticing the silence from him, Adler nudged him, "You found someone, Frank?"
Knowing the group wouldn't leave him alone if he didn't answer, "I met someone during my stay at the hospital after Panama. She's a nurse. Wonderful woman. Bound to retire soon. Some idiot divorced her over a decade ago. Wasted her time and she can't have kids anymore, but she's taking care of Mason's son. A noble woman through and through. Couldn't have gotten this far without her and neither could David."
Sevati let out an, "Awww. You have feelings for her or what?"
Frank knew the answer, but didn't want them to know, so he muttered in a bit of anger, "No, but I'd kill to have a minute with her ex-husband. She's a catch of a woman."
"You should let me meet her if she's single. Can't father her any kids but I bet she'd love a night with me," Adler saying as he took a drag of his smoke and chuckled.
Frank's face turned sour as he retorted, "Not into your type. Too secretive and emotionally void. Ex was one of those types. Disappeared after the divorce was finalized."
Marshall being happy for his friend, couldn't help but ask, "So, what's the lady's name?"
Feeling a bit exposed, he muttered out your name and immediately, Adler start choking out a cough of smoke as he let out a "What?"
"That's her name, Adler. The fuck was that reaction?" Frank could tell something got to him.
Russell knew he fucked up. He knew it long ago as you started pulling away. The pieces were clicking together. He was always loosely keeping an eye on you. You still lived in your marital house. You still worked at the same hospital. He saw you picking up a boy from school and thought that was a foster kid or maybe a nephew. When he saw you getting dressed up to go out to dinner, he thought you were going on a date. The times he saw you through your window talking to someone, he thought you had finally moved on and found somebody better. But all this time, it was Woods and Mason's kid you were with.
Felix broke the silence that came over the group with a, "Alright, party's over. Let's head inside."
As everyone started heading back in, Frank and Russell stayed outside. A silence befell them both and not before Frank got impatient. "C'mon man, you can tell me whatever's on your mind. I trusted you after those documents were leaked after Panama. Why wouldn't I trust you now?"
"Frank, she's my ex-wife."
As soon as the words came out of his mouth, Frank couldn't believe it. 'You got to be messing with me, man. Ain't no way."
Russell started bringing up details about you and Frank was in shock. He didn't want to believe it, one of the people he'd go to bat for in a heartbeat was the same man who broke the heart of the woman he had been sharing his life with for the passed 2 years. He could tell Adler wasn't lying to him though. So as quickly as the disbelief left, the anger he knew swelled. "What the actual fuck, Adler!"
Russell wanted to explain himself, "Listen, Frank, I- I didn't want to believe it either. She was a thing of the past but the stars aligned when you brought up her name."
"It's not even about that, Russ! I don't give a flying fuck about how you made that connection. I just want to know why you did it!"
"Why I did what?"
"Why you left her like that! She was heart broken. She told me about her life after the divorce. It wasn't pretty. She knew you did secretive CIA shit and spent the better part of the first 5 years being hassled about you by the government, asking if she knew where you went when you went rogue!" Frank was pissed, not only for you, but for himself. He didn't want the government interfering in your life so he never put any of your information out there, so to think Adler (the most private man he knew) didn't cover his tracks well enough to keep you shrouded from his work was infuriating him.
Russell felt ashamed when he heard that, he knew he put off expunging his personal life from any and all records but he didn't think they'd come your door asking questions in the time between. "Frank, I was a horrible husband. Always buried in work. Always away doing something. But I didn't want to let her go. She held onto me for so long and I treated her bad, I know that. So when she finally pulled away, I knew it'd be safe to pull the plug and end our marriage."
"Pull the plug? PULL THE PLUG?! That's what you fucking say when someone's on their death bed, not when you're a shitty husband who could've made time for his wife but was lazy and never did!" Frank lashed out, giving Adler a punch to the gut. It was therapeutic.
Doubled over, Russell uttered out, "I don't want to ruin this... thing you have with her. I'm just happy knowing she's found something to be happy about. I just hope you don't harbor any-"
"Cut the 'I'm happy if she's happy' bullshit, Adler. I'm going inside." Frank spit out as he turned to head inside. Wanting to say one last thing before he headed to bed, "Fucking asshole." And Frank retreated to his bed.
Russell stayed out there for a long time. He remembered all the times you spent together. First date. Moving in together. Wedding. Saying "I love you" before he headed to work and after he got home. The amount of times you packed his lunch because you knew he'd forget. The "Stay safe" every time he'd leave the country. All the times he took that for granted. Lunches would be brought home, untouched. No responses became the normal. You'd beg him to retire. To be a father. To be a good husband. No response and at times, he'd just get up and leave to spend the night with another woman. Maybe it was another covert operative or a cute clerical worker. Over time, pictures would be taken off the wall of the both of you. Eventually the silence that overcame the home was his signal to start getting ready to make his exit. He had failed as a partner. So now it was time to put it on paper.
He remembered the tears in your eyes after you registered the packet that was slid to you at the table. The quiet, "Oh, okay..." as you read through the words that would be the division of assets in the divorce. He watched you sign the paper work and immediately get up and head to the bedroom. That's when he snatched it up and left the house. He only went back to grab his belongings he was taking into an apartment down the street from work. The lawyer walked you both through the process, you never meeting his eyes. Before he knew it, he was standing in front of a judge as the divorce was finalized. He could see the look on your face the whole time. The shame.
You were getting older, no kids to show, and newly divorced. Men weren't into older women like the ladies were into older men. He wanted to say something nice as you both walked out of the courthouse but in his crude usual fashion, he said, "It's nothing personal, dear." And off he went.
The Rook was tense until the final break on Pantheon happened. Frank knew this operation would never survive, so he decided to temporarily make amends with Adler. He just wanted this operation over with and with that, he apologized to Adler. To say Russell was surprised was a understatement. He took the apology and also apologized, which Frank deferred with the comment, "Don't apologize to me, you know who you owe an apology to." He knew.
The rest of the operation went. Frank got stabbed. Case was M.I.A. So was Harrow. Felix recovered from his injuries. Took a deal with Livingstone. And now it was time to head home.
The flight home to Virginia was tense for Russell. He knew you'd be there to pick up Frank from the airport. So when the flight landed and they headed to get their bags. There he saw you. You looked great and there was Mason's kid with you. So that must be David. Gameboy in one hand and the other on your arm as he saw you telling him that Uncle Frank would be here soon and to be calm. You would've been a good mother. He felt regret swell up in his throat before he felt someone tap him on the back. It was Frank.
"Grab your bag. We're going to drive you home, man." And he did just that. He watched as Frank wheeled up to you and the kid. You looked so happy to see Frank. Pain seared the back of throat, he felt like he was going to throw up. But he had to remain composed.
As he walked towards the three, he heard Frank say, "I hope you don't mind an addition to the trip. Found myself a nice sewer rat to take to his home." Frank pointed to Russell and your eyes met.
You were unfazed. He was a relic of a bygone era. A pain that faded a long time ago. "Okay! Well it's good to see you again after all of the years, Russ. I hope you don't mind sitting in the back with David."
Russell hoped he'd be able to avoid being near you, "It's not a problem at-"
"Nah, sweetheart. David and I are gonna ride in the back together. We got a lot of catching up to do. Don't we, kid?" Frank interrupted as David nodded.
"Sounds good. Just don't scare the kid too much with your crazy 'Nam stories. Let's head to the car and I'm not carrying your bag, Frank." You say as you start heading out the doors.
"Wouldn't have it any other way. Also did you know you spoil David? What's this gadget he's got?"
David finally uttered, "It was a birthday gift."
Russell felt intimidated. He was watching a wasted opportunity he could've had. Someone waiting for him to get home, a kid to spoil, a loving partner, a real life.
The car ride went smooth. David started teaching his Uncle Frank how to play Tetris. You drove and hummed to the radio. Russell stared out the window.
You pulled up to his placed after 20 minutes. He couldn't wait to get out of the car. You spoke first, "Russ, this is your stop, right?"
"Yes. Uh, thank you." Russell said as started getting out. Mustering the courage, he asked the question, "Can I please have a word with you?"
Looking at Frank and David in the back, you get a "Go ahead" nod and start getting out too.
As you stood at his door, he looked at you, "I just want to start off with apologizing. I never wanted our marriage to turn sour like it did. I just hope you can forgive me for everything."
You took a deep breath and said, "I forgave you a long time ago, Russ. It's time to forgive yourself. I have a good thing here. Frank's a wonderful man and I love David as if he's my own. I just hope you won't let this thing we had stop you from being a good friend to Frank. He'd die for you, you'd know."
Russell felt himself slipping away. Here you were, burned by him and having every right to be mad at him, but instead you met him with the same kindness that he fell in love with you to begin with. He barely pulled himself together in order to say, "I won't. I promise. I better head in, but thank you again for the ride."
You smile as you say, "Okay, Russ. I'll hold you to that promise. Don't be a stranger and stay safe."
A punch to the gut is what those last two words felt like to Russell. Wanting to save himself from further pain, he slipped in as he watched you get back in the car and pull away.
He swore he could hear Frank say, "Dear, did you know this game thing is fucking awesome?"
There was this sickening sense of familiarity in how you had once known him so well. And he had known you too well. He wanted to believe you were the wrong person for him but now, he can see you weren't always.
Every opportunity to have normal for him was now wasted.