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Gale's first impression of Halsin is caught up in a maelstrom of conflicting and confusing feelings.
For one, the druid absolutely towers over him. His imposing stature and bulky musculature make Gale feel weak in the knees whenever they're close together, and more than once he's imagined Halsin lifting him up in those strong arms to carry him to safety. He’s never seen an elf - let alone a man - of Halsin’s build before and it ignites something strange and new within him.
For another, Halsin is leagues more patient than nearly everyone else in their group. Every question that Gale might have he answers honestly, without embarrassment, without judgment, always looking him directly in the eyes as he speaks. It makes Gale's heart skip a beat to be gazed at like that, as if, when Halsin speaks to him, he's the only person around.
Gale crushes this feeling the first moment it happens, his stomach churning as he thinks of Ari - the leader of their troupe and his soon-to-be paramour (if he can ever get the orb under control). But, if he really thinks about it, Halsin and Ari share many of the same qualities: strength, confidence, honesty - perhaps that’s why the druid has his attention at all.
But somewhere along their journey, Gale's opinion of the man begins to sour.
Far too often he finds Halsin staring at Ari - his Ari - with yearning in his eyes (hazel eyes that make Gale think of fresh autumn leaves blanketing the forest floor). Worse still is how often he finds Ari's gaze following Halsin's in turn. Every time he catches the moment their eyes meet, when Halsin’s lips form a half smile and Ari’s fangs peak out from hers, the wrath of jealousy stabs him in the heart.
They’re finally in the Shadow-Cursed Lands when Gale finally snaps. After enduring weeks of their budding attraction, he pulls Ari into an empty room at Last Light Inn and locks the door behind him.
“I don’t want you around Halsin,” he grumbles. “I don’t like the way he looks at you.”
Ari has the gall to look surprised, as if Gale can’t see the way she looks at Halsin too. As if he’s stupid.
"What do you mean, Gale?" she asks, her emerald eyes not quite meeting his own. From the corner of his eye he sees her tail flick nervously behind her for a split second before it stills. "He looks at me just like everyone else. What makes you think he's looking at me any differently?"
Before he can stop it, the orb bathes the walls in a celestial purple light as his anger flares white hot in his chest. Ari stares wide-eyed as if she's afraid, and he forces the anger down, down, down, until he’s recomposed himself. He takes a deep, shuddering breath with his eyes closed, as if not seeing her will make the jealousy go away.
“He looks at you the way that I do,” he forces through clenched teeth. “And I’ve seen the way you look at him too. Please do not do me the disservice of believing that I’m unobservant.”
The wooden floorboards creak beneath her feet as she steps towards him. Warmth radiates from her palm as she presses it to his chest and he feels some of the tension ease from his body. Opening his eyes, he sees her own full of concern.
“It seems I owe you an apology, my love,” Ari says softly. “I won’t deny that I have felt attraction towards Halsin,” the orb glows brightly again and he hisses through the pain, “but I promise that my heart belongs to you.”
Gale sighs shakily and he pulls Ari’s hand to his face, kissing the inside of her wrist. Her other arm snakes around his waist and pulls him flush against her.
“Even if I find another handsome or beautiful, even if they might share the attraction, that does not mean that I will abandon you. It does not mean that I do not love you and it does not mean that you are somehow inadequate or unworthy.
"Never forget that."
Thick strong arms hold you steady as large hands slide down the sides of your body, slowly burning desire into every inch of your skin. As deft fingers pull your breeches away and expose you to the cold night air - as soft lips press lower and lower down your chest, your heart thuds wildly in your chest. Anticipation thrums through your veins - you're helpless against his body pressing flush to yours, weakened by the desperation with which he he tries to devour you.
Halsin looks up at you, his eyes full of heat and desire that sends a shiver down your spine. Your blood runs south so quickly it makes your head spin.
"You look so beautiful like this," Halsin rumbles as he continues to caress your body. "I cannot wait to mount you, to claim you. I have wanted this for a long time, Ari."
What?
"Halsin, please," you whine, "I need you to fuck me."
Halsin smiles wider and gently lays you on the ground. You coil your tail around the druid's thick calf to anchor yourself as he lines himself up with your entrance.
A tail? What the fuck?
Gale shakes the vision from his head, his eyes crossing momentarily as his surroundings come back into focus. Leaves crunch under his aching knees and the night's air bites at his skin, his arm hair raising as it pebbles over with goosebumps. He blinks once, twice, and finds Ari beneath him - her auburn hair fanning around her face, a thin sheen of sweat glistening over her flushed skin.
He feels her walls clench around his cock and he gasps involuntarily, suddenly remembering that they're in the middle of sex. As her eyes slowly open, Gale pulls himself out and away from her.
"Gale? What's wrong?" Ari asks.
Leaves shift again and fall from her hair as she sits up. He rubs at his temple and shakes his head again.
"I- I'm sorry, Ari," he says shakily, trying to sort his thoughts. "I don't know what just happened… I think I had a vision? I'm not sure."
A long silence stretches between them and Gale looks at her uncertainly.
"Ari?"
"Oh gods, Gale, I'm so sorry - I -"
The realization feels like a guillotine has chopped his heart in half.
"You're thinking of Halsin while we make love?" he whispers, his heart constricting in his chest. Hot, angry tears come unbidden to his eyes as images of what her tadpole had revealed flash through his mind. "I knew - I knew - that there was something more between you two. How many times did I catch you two staring at each other? I should have known I'd never be enough," he adds in a low voice, choking back sobs.
"Gale, no," Ari pleads as she scrambles to her feet and comes closer. "Don't say that, you are enough, I promise you that you are."
Gale whips around so fiercely and suddenly that Ari stumbles backward.
"What worth are your promises if your affections can be so easily given to another?" he seethes through clenched teeth as the tears fall. "What words of yours have meaning if your thoughts contradict them? Why should I believe you?"
She falters, arms wrapping protectively around herself as she desperately tries to stop her body from trembling under his heated stare. Silently, Gale thanks Mystra for stabilizing the orb - this moment alone would have ended them all, so angrily does his blood thrum in his veins and crackle under his skin, wanting to be let loose.
"Gale, I -" she starts, then sighs.
"I can't help the attraction I feel towards Halsin," she admits again in a low voice. Her eyes shine wetly. "But I have loved you from the moment I pulled you from that portal. When I touched your hand for the first time, when I first heard your voice, you have held my heart. I will always, always, choose you."
He swallows around the lump in his throat. Ari's confession buffets against him, bouncing off his skin as if his anger has wrapped him in a protection spell. He ignores everything but that she's interested in the druid - he can't hear how she chooses him, can't hear the love in her voice. Pride wraps his thoughts in shadows and rejects all else.
"If you truly loved me," he warns, his voice hard and unyielding, "you wouldn't have any romantic feelings towards anyone else. You would only think of me."
Silence settles uncomfortably between them again. Ari blinks and slowly lowers her arms to her sides. She stands tall, eyes dry and body no longer trembling, her lips pressed into a thin line.
"I will not let you cage me as Mystra caged you."
White hot rage flashes like a lightning bolt through Gale's body before landing icy cold and hard in the pit of his stomach.
"Mystra did not cage me," he says shakily and Ari barks out a mirthless laugh that fills him with dread.
"Oh, sweetheart," she says, eyes flashing meanly, "Mystra used you. She tamed you, kept you controlled - and discarded you the moment you were no longer useful. Why else would she have asked you to kill yourself? Everything she claimed was just an excuse to hide the truth: if she can't have you, no one can."
The orb throbs painfully in Gale's chest, as if it is aware - and disapproving - of this admission.
"That's a lie," he answers defiantly as he matches Ari's posture. "Unlike you, Mystra only ever loved me - only ever had eyes for me. She cared for me and raised me to new heights. She would never ask me to use the orb without a good reason."
"Gods damn it, Gale, use that brain of yours!" Ari shouts abruptly, and now it's Gale's turn to step back from her wrath. "Did you even realize that Elminster found us only two days after our first time? Don't you think, in all the year and a half you were trapped in your tower, that Mystra would have sent him to stabilize your orb if she actually cared? But no, that bitch of a goddess waited until you were no longer endlessly pining for her to grant you her succor!"
Gale can only blink in shock at Ari's outburst, her bright rage now completely outshining his own. He can barely wrap his mind around what she's saying before she's pushing on.
"I'm sorry for thinking about Halsin, Gale, truly I am, but don't you dare try to treat me like Mystra treated you and don't you dare act as if you have some fucking moral high ground. How many days, how many weeks - Gods, how many months? - did I wait patiently for you to work through your feelings for your ex? And I never said a gods damned word about it."
Gale can only gawk at her. Surely he didn't speak of Mystra that much? His mouth opens to rebut her, then closes it just as quickly when the words won't come. Ari sighs. Her furrowed brows relax and her jaw loosens. Her gaze lands on him.
"I'm not the one at fault here," he responds weakly. Ari ignores him.
"Mystra should have helped you, protected you," she says, and the tender tone of her voice tugs at the pieces of his heart. "Instead, she was mean and spiteful. You gave her your life. Your love. Your devotion. And in return, she cast you out and abandoned you the moment you needed her most. Someone who loves you, truly loves you, would never be so cruel."
Gale can barely keep up. Ari's words swirl with the emotions in his chest, a torrential downfall of disbelief and anger that suffocate and challenge him in equal measure. The carefully constructed walls in his mind tremble against their assault. His fists clench tighter, nails digging crescents into his palms, as heavy tears drip down his face onto the forest floor.
Ari, with her eyes downcast and completely unaware of the war raging within him, sighs again in defeat.
"I'm sorry, Gale. Not for the things I said about Mystra - she doesn't deserve you after everything she's done to you. But… I shouldn't have thought about Halsin, especially after you made your feelings clear. So perhaps I don't deserve you either. I.. I understand if you'd.. like to end things between us."
Before he can respond, she grabs her clothes and disappears among the trees, leaving Gale alone with his thoughts in the clearing. He chokes on a sob and does not speak.
Hours later, as he watches Gale stroll into camp alone from the corner of his eye, Astarion smirks and snaps his book shut. Another raunchy night for those two lovebirds, it seems, he thinks. Ari hasn't returned yet either; they were probably trying to be sneaky about their little rendezvous. He casually strolls to Gale's tent with a lascivious quip just on the tip of his tongue.
"I see our Drow experience made you -" he begins, but the words catch in his throat when he sees Gale's distraught face.
The poor wizard looks much worse up close: his eyes are puffy and red-rimmed, his hair unkempt with a single, forgotten leaf sticking out of it. Even his clothes seem to just hang from - rather than hug - his body. He looks so small and beaten and miserable, just like Astarion whenever he was forced to face Cazador's wrath. His heart aches strangely.
For too long he stands there awkwardly staring at Gale, mulling over what he should do in such a situation. The sarcastic quips he's so used to giving seem inappropriate here, but so does saying something… nice. He agonizes over whether to say anything at all.
After minutes of uncomfortable silence, Astarion slowly sits next to Gale instead, their arms and legs touching as he assumes the same position as the other man. He casts a pleading gaze towards Isi (who is sitting back at their tent) and mouths, "Help me!" He sees her giggle as she mouths back, "Comfort him!" while she motions wrapping her arm around an invisible figure.
Astarion cringes and glances back to Gale, who remains staring at the ground beneath him. In 200 years of living, he had never received comfort from anyone - at least not until he'd met Isi - but to give comfort… He isn't even sure he can. Taking a deep breath, he gently wraps his arm around Gale's shoulders, resting his hand on his arm and giving it a gentle squeeze.
Gale's reaction is immediate and shocking. Fresh, unseemly sobs erupt from him as he melts into Astarion's embrace, gripping the man's now dampening shirt with a white-knuckled grip. Astarion instantly pulls his arms away: he's ready to flee, but Gale is pressed so tightly to him, curling in on himself as his body trembles, that he couldn't if he tried. He shoots Isi another terrified glance with his arms up, as if to ask, "Now what??". She gazes at them both with pity, then motions for Astarion to take hold of the wizard again - this time in a true embrace.
Astarion's eyes widen and he slowly looks back down to Gale. How many times, in the two hundred years he spent as Cazador's slave, had he found himself in just the same position? How many days had he spent curled inward and trying to disappear, his body stricken with grief as he wished and wished for someone to hold him?
His chest grows tight with the memory. Cold tears brim his eyes as he swallows thickly around the lump in his throat. No one had ever come to his aid before - why should he sit here and come to Gale's?
And yet… he knows, deep down, that the wizard cares for him. He knows that Gale is the one who picks up books for him along the road that he likes. Gale is the one who ensures he can feed on their kills before cooking dinner every night. And even though Gale can be annoyingly sanctimonious it is he who distracts Ari from Astarion's constant pilfering.
So, against his better judgment, Astarion gently embraces the other man. And as he rests his cheek on Gale's head, inhaling the scents of damp earth and musk, he imagines, secretly, that he's hugging his younger self from all those years ago.
He knows it won't heal the centuries of wounds. But something within him releases anyway.
Eventually, when the moonlight wanes and the morning dew begins to settle over them, Gale calms. His breathing steadies. Exhaustion settles deeply into his aching bones as his eyes droop, and he has to stifle a yawn.
"Have you finished making a mess of my shirt?" Astarion asks.
Gale rubs the sleep from his eyes with a chuckle.
"My apologies, I don't know what came over me. I'm usually much better at this."
He pulls himself out of Astarion's embrace, cheeks flushing in embarrassment as he finally sees the state of the elf's shirt. But when he goes to apologize again, he catches Astarion's pained expression and can't help but giggle.
"It appears I need to change," Astarion says as he holds the cold, wet fabric away from his skin with pinched fingers. He looks sideways at Gale. "And you owe me a new shirt."
Gale grins. With a snap of his fingers, Astarion's shirt is clean and warm once more.
The elf jumps as the burst of magic washes over him and Gale barks a single abrupt laugh before clapping his hand to his mouth. Astarion shoots him a withering look, surely meant to mortify him further, but he finds himself mesmerized by the elf's rich, ruby eyes instead.
The flush in his cheeks continues to burn down his neck and chest, pinkening his skin in the early morning light. He prays Astarion doesn't see.
He does.