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Janus loathed mornings. Dawn was overrated, as was that heart-stuttering jolt he got from waking to an alarm. He hated rushing over his first cup of coffee, he despised dressing in the dark. And if Janus was were in charge, morning showers would be outlawed.
Even so, even Janus had to admit there were certain benefits to arriving at the shop two hours before his oldest friend and business partner.
The streets downtown were practically empty and blissfully muted in the pre-dawn hours, and he never had to wait for his latte at the coffee house next door—the one blessedly already open each day when he arrived and pushed up the squealing iron gate protecting his and Logan's flower shop.
Getting in two hours early each day also meant he was guaranteed to be alone when, after being in the shop for precisely forty-seven minutes, he would have his morning coughing fit. The timing left him nearly an hour to clean himself up and clear away the indigo-colored morning glories he'd expelled before Logan might spot them and start to ask uncomfortable questions.
His early mornings, though, were not all upside.
Mindful of what it had taken to force his groggy head into this rigid wake schedule, Janus hadn't slept in for over four years. And consistently early mornings meant consistently early nights. Janus wasn't sure which was worse, his little brother's disappointment when he declined yet another movie marathon night. Or when he'd stopped asking altogether.
Most pertinently, though, arriving before Logan every day meant he also bore witness to his arrival each morning. Along with his husband's morning goodbye kiss.
"Say it again, Lo Lo," Remus had snickered, nuzzling against his cheek. From his perch atop the front counter, Remus had wrapped long, lanky arms and legs around Logan, pulling him close. His muscles bunched and stretched under his long-sleeved tee, strategically ripped, it seemed, to let his detailed octopus tattoos peek through. That or to give Logan a chance to trace deft fingers along the bared tanned skin, just as he did now.
"I cannot possibly imagine to what you are referring," Logan demurred, cheeks pink as his eyes darted over his husband's shoulder. Janus looked away before he could catch his eyes.
"Oh, Lo Lo," Remus said, voice lower. But not quite low enough to not be heard across the shop. "You know what I wanna hear."
"I will see you tonight, Meus," Logan murmured, voice rich and warm and rumbly.
Janus didn't look up from the peonies he was arranging for their first pick-up of the morning.
Remus had laughed, energetic bubbles bouncing around the room. "How much of me?" he'd countered.
"All of you," had been Logan's quiet response, his own laughter buzzing just under his words.
That had been last week.
Janus didn't know what spell Remus had cast on his formerly reserved best friend and partner—business partner, Janus' mind firmly clarified. But there were days when just the sound of their voices pulled him out of the rose chiller or out from the receiving room, a sunflower turning her face to the sun.
Grip so strong he feared he might warp the flower bucket before him, Janus gagged and choked. Finally, he coughed up a particularly large blossom. Finally able to suck in a lungful of air, he fell back, panting. Once he'd caught his breath—for now—he sat up, wiping his mouth. Never one to be overly squeamish, Janus peered inside the bucket.
It hadn't been one blossom caught in his throat, but two.
One was a familiar blue morning glory, velvet soft petals wet and wilted. Next to it, with bright green petals edged in blood, sat a Jade Slipper orchid.
"Well, fuck."
The following morning's sleet hid even the barest hint of dawn, leaving Janus fighting to resist his temptation to tick up the thermostat to try and make up for the lost imagined warmth. Instead, after he cleaned up from his coughing fit—taunted this time by nearly as many green orchids as morning glories—he pulled his gloves back on and worked to unload the new glass giftware they'd ordered.
For several weeks, customers had been asking for a greater variety of vases for custom arrangements and, after the third request in as many days, Logan had called Janus over the review his tracking sheet.
The man had a spreadsheet for everything.
Smiling, Janus had leaned over his shoulder for a better look at Logan's projections. His lungs filled with the scent of vanilla and cedar, Logan's cologne just strong enough to beat out the heavy fragrance of the roses Janus had been trimming. He inhaled deeply—and promptly choked.
Slapping a hand over his mouth, Janus fumbled in his pockets for a handkerchief.
"Jay?" Logan leapt to his feet and steadied him with a warm, firm hand on his arm. The unexpected touch burned through the silk of Janus' sleeve. "Do you need some water?" he asked, voice tight with worry.
Finally managing to pull one of his new black handkerchiefs from his vest pocket, Janus covered his face just in time to feel a petal behind his teeth. No. No, please no. Not here. Not now.
Still coughing, he shook his head. Tears pricked his eyes as he struggled to dislodge a bloom. He needed to get out of there. Janus stepped back, but Logan moved with him, one hand now gently gripping his arm while the other rubbed his back. "I—I'm here," he murmured, sounding uncharacteristically unsure even as his hand eased Janus' back spasm brought on by each cough. "It's alright, I—"
"Hello, Flower Boys!" Remus cried, backing through the front door. The aromas of garlic and butter and fresh bread came with him. "Anybody hung—" The bags rustled as they dropped to the floor and Remus was at his other side. "Shit, you okay, Jannie?"
Janus tried to nod but was wracked with another spell. Stars sparkled behind closed eyes and he stumbled. Caught between the two of them, Logan and Remus, they eased him down into Logan's chair. Handkerchief heavy and damp through the thick black cotton, Janus winced and crumpled it before shoving it in his trouser pocket. He found a second just in time before he coughed up one last blossom. Folding that one in his hand, he closed his fist tightly around it. Letting the chair—and Logan and Remus—support him, he fought to catch his breath.
He didn't dare look at what he'd coughed up.
"Thank you," he managed between slowly easing gasps. "I'm fine now," he lied, eyes closed. Up until now, he'd only coughed up actual petals in the morning or evening. But that was a worry for another time. He cracked open his eyes, two sets of concerned eyes looking back at him. Janus pressed on a smile, shakier than he would have liked. "Thank you," he said again, slowly regaining his awareness.
Logan and Remus knelt on either side of him, Logan's hand on his knee. His thigh, really. Janus tried not to think about that. Remus' larger hand covered his where he still gripped the soiled handkerchief. The shop door was still ajar, held open by the large bag from Amante's down the street. That explained the garlic.
"I apologize, I'm delaying your lunch date." With great reluctance, he pulled his hand away from Remus' warm grip and shoved the other handkerchief into his pocket. Remus' hand lingered on his knee before finally dropping to his own side.
"Nah, Jannie, I…" He glanced over at Logan, thick mustache twitching over his lips. "I brought it for both, well, for all of us."
Logan's thumb brushed the crease in his trousers, very, very lightly. Janus was certain he wasn't even aware of it. "You are more than welcome to join us, Jay."
"Yeah, we wanna all eat together," Remus added, a bit of his usual grin returning.
"Only if you would like to. We've got tiramisu for dessert," Logan said quickly, giving his knee a little squeeze before looking down as though he just realized where his hand was. He folded his hands in his own lap.
Janus suppressed a shiver as his legs slowly cooled from the dual loss of contact. Ignoring that, Janus smiled. "You know my weakness," he teased.
The smile that bloomed over Logan's face put every flower in their shop to shame. He nodded to Remus, who stood and closed the door, setting the little 'We'll be back' clock for an hour. Grinning over his shoulder at him, he pushed it to two. "I'll do whatever I need to do to get the two of you to take a decent break."
"Rather hypocritical coming from you, Mister 'I Have a New Idea and I'll Sleep When I'm Dead.'" Arms crossed over this chest, Logan's voice was stern but his smile was not.
"Slander!" Remus laughed. Hefting up the bag, he returned to them and offered a hand to Logan to help him to his feet. "You see what I have to put up with?" he winked at Janus.
To Janus', surprise, Logan laughed and released Remus' hand to offer both to him. Without thinking, Janus wrapped his hands around Logan's and allowed himself to be helped to his feet.
One hand still gripping their lunch, Remus looped his arm around Logan's waist as he grinned back at Janus over the top of Logan's head. Message received, Janus nodded and dropped Logan's hands. Eyes on the floor, Janus smoothed down his vest. "Thank you. I'll set up in the back," he said, retreating to give the couple at least a few moments of privacy before their shared meal.
While mid-day coughing fits remained blessedly rare, Janus' evening spells were growing far, far worse. He now spent hours every night coughing up increasingly large blossoms and sharp, prickly stems. The black handkerchiefs had proved useful for disguising the increasing droplets of blood that accompanied them, and he soon switched out all of his sheets and towels to the same. Exhausted after a particularly bad spell, he collapsed on his bed, right on top of his covers, certain he needed just a moment to collect himself before properly preparing for sleep.
When Janus opened his eyes to his progressive alarm blaring and the buzz of his watch shaking his hand, he was afraid to see how long he'd overslept. The clock told him anyway. If he sped through his routine, he'd get to the shop only forty-five minutes late. Maybe it would still be okay.
That morning's coughing fit would not stop. He'd already coughed up more blossoms than he ever had before, the bright bright blue and green mocking him from the bottom of the bucket. Something large caught just below his vocal cords, his coughs turned silent as he heaved and fought to force it free.
Without the sound of his own coughs ringing in his ears, he clearly heard the sound of the shop's front door, along with Logan and Remus' soft, flirty laughter. "Jay?" Logan called. Two sets of footsteps grew louder on the other side of the backroom door as the edges of Janus' vision grew dark. He gasped for air, the tiniest trickle of oxygen making it past the obstruction.
The room tilted sideways just as the backroom door flung open.
"Jay!"
Janus woke up on the floor. Not directly on the cold floor. No, beneath him were several coats, his own as well as Logan's and even Remus' big wool great coat. He was sitting mostly upright, head and back supported. Something firm, something warm. Vanilla and cedarwood…
He looked up and into Logan's eyes. "Lo?" he said, voice raspy. "I…" He tried and failed to sit up.
Eyes sad, Logan curled his arm a little tighter, helping his sit up. He raised a small cup of water to his lips and quietly watched him drink. Janus finished and licked his lips. "Ready for more?" he asked.
Janus nodded and had half the next before shaking his head. Logan slowly lowered the cup but kept it close. The silence grew heavy between them. "Who are they for?" Logan finally murmured, jerking his chin toward the bucket.
He eyed the cup and Logan raised it up. Janus took a slow sip, then whispered into the cup. "They're for you, Lo." He pretended not to notice Logan's little gasp. "And your husband."
The hand holding the cup shook and Janus squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for his gentle rejection, waiting for his horror. Waiting for anything. One does not simply confess to one's married friends without… consequences. Logan tapped the cup to his lips again and, obediently, Janus sipped at it.
"How long, Jay?" he whispered.
Janus drank more of the water, delaying a response. He would run out soon.
He tried to sit up, but gravity—and the magnetic pull of Logan's warmth—was too much to fight and he lay back with a sigh. "Your morning glories started just before we opened the shop. The orchids…" He closed his eyes, face burning with shame. "Since last winter?"
"They're different for different people?" Remus sudden voice from the doorway sounded surprised. "Does that mean…"
Feigning confidence, Janus looked back at him. Dressed in a flower apron and holding a pair of stem shears, Remus' cheeks were red, eyes wide. Janus nodded and swallowed hard, triggering another little spell. Both Remus and Logan were at his sides. Remus kept the bucket and a soft cloth close, rubbing Janus' back as he hacked up more petals. And Logan held his hand.
Finally the coughing subsided. Sandwiched between them, Janus let them hold his weight. Just this once.
Remus broke the silence. "So you've been in love with Logan this whole time," he said more than asked. "And now me, too?"
"I'm sorry," he whispered, eyes still closed.
"Oh, Jay," Logan sighed. "The only thing you should be sorry for is not telling us sooner. I can't believe this whole time, you—"
"I—" Janus' voice died before he could explain more. He hadn't even considered how uncomfortable they would feel finding out he'd been secretly harboring feelings. He'd thought he'd been sparing them. So focused on his own longing, it never even occurred to him they would feel like he'd been lying. "I… I am," he said, sitting up on his own. "I'm sorry. I'll… I'll go," he muttered and pushed himself up to his feet. The room spun around him but before he could fall, Logan and Remus were up, too, holding on to him.
"You dumbass," Remus said, pulling him close. "We love you, too." Logan moved in, one arm curled around his husband, the other around him. Blood roared in Janus' ears. He didn't just say that, did he?
"While that is not how I describe your mental acuity," Logan murmured and brushed a soft kiss against his temple. "Remus is correct. We both have strong and romantic feelings for you. Of course we love you, too, Jay."
"Really?" Janus studied Logan's eyes and then Remus'. They were serious. "How… How did I not…"
"How did we not?" Logan asked, filling in the rest of his question for him. "Come," he murmured as Remus dabbed at his face with a warm, wet cloth. "The shop is closed for the night. I think we have a lot to talk about. Would that be acceptable to you?" he asked, addressing both him and his husband.
"Hell, yes!" Remus grinned back both of them. At Janus' little nod, they helped him to his feet and into his coat. Logan remained at his side, one arm curled around his back as he walked on unsteady feet. Remus moved ahead, holding doors and shutting off the shop's lights.
Janus watched as Remus pulled down the gate then switched positions, supporting him as Logan crouched down and turned the gate locks. He stood and offered Janus his hand.
Hand in hand in hand, they walked back to Logan and Remus' car and on toward whatever came next.