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Dean felt his face drop a little. “So odds are you’re a dead man tomorrow?” Castiel looked back up into his eyes, responding the way he typically does, flatly.
“Yes.”
“Oh.” Is all Dean could think to respond with. Sure, maybe his relationship so far with Cas had been a little rocky but still, Dean couldn’t imagine losing another person. Especially someone like Cas. Because while Cas did have a practical use keeping Dean around, he was also there because he wanted to be. Thinking of angels, Dean's mind wandered back to Anna, and the night they were sure she was to die. “Well, last night on earth. What uh…” Dean hesitated, “what are your plans?”
There was a brief pause as his question lingered in the air. Dean tried not to think of the implications it had just issued, implications Cas had no idea of.
“I just thought I’d sit here quietly.” Castiel responded earnestly. Dean raised his eyebrows in a mix of surprise and confusion.
“Dude, come on. Anything? Hm? Booze?.. Women?” he teased. To his surprise though, as Cas connected eyes, he did something he hadn’t seen him do before. He blushed, and turned his head, clearly embarrassed and almost as if trying to avoid something.
The absence of Cas’s response rang throughout the room. Dean scoffed and probed a little further,
“You have been with a woman before right?” which only turned the angel a darker shade of red, “or an angel, at least?”. Castiel tried to numb this new feeling out by rubbing the back of his neck as there was another beat of silence before Dean filled it. “You mean to tell me you’ve never been up there doing a little cloud seeding?” Castiel immediately responded, trying to cool the awkward lump pooling in his throat.
“Look, I’ve never had the occasion, okay?” What he didn’t tell Dean was that he had never really found the appeal, well… that is until recently. But he didn’t mention this because of something Dean had said earlier;
“Because when humans really want something, we lie.”
There was another excruciating pause as Dean contemplated this new information before stepping to the other side of the table and beginning again.
“All right.” Cas tilted his head in confusion before Dean began speaking again, “Let me tell you something, there are two things that I know for certain; one, Bert and Ernie are gay. Two, you are not gonna die a virgin.” Castiel looked up at his counterpart, intrigued as Dean continued. “Not on my watch. Let’s go.”
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Dean took a quick sip out of his drink as he took an even swifter look around the seedy club he had dragged Castiel into, but despite all the gorgeous women around him, he couldn’t seem to stop coming back to Cas’s terrified, awkward eyes.
“Hey, relax.” Dean assured Cas, who seemed to almost be hyperventilating on the other side of the table before leaning in closer to Dean and saying in a hushed tone,
“This is a den of iniquity. I should not be here.” Dean stared at him, slightly baffled before responding.
“Dude you full-on rebelled against heaven,” he stated as a scantily clad woman approached their table, “iniquity is one of the perks.” Again, Castiel held back the thought to correct Dean that he had rebelled for him. Not so he could reek the ‘benefits’ or ‘perks’ of a sinful lifestyle. For Dean. As Dean noticed the woman stepping closer, he took another sip from his drink and mumbled to Cas, “Showtime.”
As the woman walked up to Castiel he tried his best to act as he thought he should, although that was proving difficult, this was not his scene. Not even his genre. Yeah, maybe Dean was much more used to a life filled with lust and sin but he still was able to look around and be pleased with what he saw, whereas Castiel felt… Well - indifferent.
“Hi, what's your name?” the woman asked in a seductive tone. Cas tried to answer but nothing came out, his throat was barren. He shot a pleading look over the table to Dean, who did help but maybe not in the way Cas had intended.
“Cas. His name is Cas.” Dean responded for him with a lady-killing grin. “What's your name?” The woman swayed her hips and proudly answered,
“Chastity.”
“Chastity?” Dean held in a chuckle. He’d been around the block enough times to have heard some interesting names but the irony of the situation was not lost on him. Not just because the virgin Mary here was a hooker but because of the nervous, actual virgin wreck that sat across from him.
Chastity hummed an affirmative tone and Dean finally let a small part of his chuckle out, turning to Castiel who seemed about ready to beg God for forgiveness if it meant getting out of this situation.
“Wow,” Dean said, “is that kismet or what, buddy?” Huh?” He watched with some empathy and grief as Castiel downed half his drink, refusing to make eye contact with anyone. Dean could tell he was uncomfortable and some large part of him felt bad and wanted to fix it for him. But some fraction of that part of him also clearly showed that maybe he was ignoring Cas’s discomfort as a way to distract himself from what Cas may actually want. What Dean may actually want. But he continued,
“Well, he likes you and you like him, so… Dayenu!” He playfully gestured towards Castiel and was met with pleading eyes again, but with nothing to do about it as delicate hands wrapped around the angel's trench coat and pulled him gently out of his seat.
“Come on, baby” Chastity purred as she dragged him away. Dean looked at the empty chair that had gained the negative space for all of two seconds before guilt washed over him, and maybe some other emotion he didn’t want to put into words at the moment. He frowned and quickly stood up, stopping Castiel before he could go anywhere, grabbing him by his arm and panicking before whispering to a still terrified looking Castiel,
“Oh, hey. Listen. Take this,” he passed a wad of cash to the other, “if she asks for a credit card, ‘no’. And just stick to the basics, okay? Do not order off the menu.” Castiel looked back at Chastity waiting for him in the doorway to the hall where they kept rooms and took a breath in, he didn’t want to leave Dean, fuck he didn’t really want to be here in the first place, but he did it because he knew Dean enjoyed it, so hell, why not? He took the cash out of Dean’s hand before he whispered one last encouragement to him,
“Go get ‘em tiger.” Dean said before winking and oh god that made something happen in Cas’s stomach. Something that spread to his cheeks and gave Dean the impression of a go-ahead to leave him to fend for himself in a world he had never been a part of. “Don’t make me push you.” Cas turned and stiffly followed Chastity into the hall. Dean watched as Cas turned his back on him and left and he finally let the emotion he had been ignoring creep in further. The twinge of jealousy that sparked in his heart. Jealousy obviously of Cas, right? I mean, Chastity was no five dollar investment.
Right.
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Dean heard a high pitched scream ringing from the hallway, and the pitch sounded familiar.
He raced past other guests to see Chastity screaming at Castiel, who stood silently still fully clothed with nothing out of order but his tie slightly undone and his trench coat pushed off of one shoulder.
“Get out of my face! Leave me alone!” Chastity squealed, “bastard! Screw you jerk!” She threw an empty bottle at Cas’s head, just missing it, “I’ll kill you!”. She then continued to storm up to Dean and push him against the wall, “Screw you too! God!” she sobbed before running away, yelling even more obscenities. Dean turned to look at Cas, arms out to either side.
“The hell did you do?” he asked, almost laughing.
“I don’t know,” Castiel replied, finally seeming to have calmed down a little, “I just looked at her in the eyes and told her it wasn’t her fault her father, Jean, ran off.” Dean gave him a dumbfounded look. Cas continued, “It was because he hated his job at the post office.” Dean rolled his eyes,
“Oh no, man,” he lamented, “this whole industry runs on absent fathers! It’s the natural order.” Dean laughed a little, noticing the irony of his paternal situation before returning to the matter at hand, as there were now two buff security guards entering the hallway. “We should go, come on!” he grinned as he grabbed Cas by the arm and ran out of the emergency exit.
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They burst out of the door into the cool, moonlit night. Dean chuckles as he closes it behind them.
He then turns around and tries not to think too hard about the way the moon reflects in Cas's eyes and shines an outline around his face and sits itself right above his hair, like some holy painting that only he gets to see. Like how even though he’s fallen, he’s fallen for humanity and the world, and the world tells him he’s still divine. Dean swallows and lets out another laugh, bending over to take a breath.
“What’s so funny?” Cas asks, shifting himself down to Dean’s level. Dean looks back into those shining blue eyes and feels his chest light up inside, and does not resist the temptation to put his arm around the angel and begin walking the two back to the impala.
“Ohhh, nothing. Whew! It’s been a long time since I’ve laughed that hard.”
Dean took one last fleeting look at Cas as the angel bent over to sit in the vehicle. His brow was furrowed and his face still looked mostly serious, but there was also a shy smile creeping across his face as he averted his eyes from Dean’s field of view. A goddam angel was sliding into the front seat of his car. A soldier of God was about to sit down with him and drive all the way back to Dean’s selected safe house for the night. Castiel didn’t need to, but Cas wanted to. This all dawned upon Dean as he kept speaking.
“Years maybe…”
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During their drive back, Dean couldn’t help but feel a little sorry, and maybe even a little curious…
“Hey, dude. I uh… I’m sorry I kinda forced you into that. I know it’s not really your scene.” Cas turned his head to face Dean better.
“It’s alright, Dean. I understand that that’s typically what male friends would do for each other. I also understand it’s where you would go if you were trying to get your mind off of something.” Dean swallowed. The fuck did he mean by that? Can angels tell your emotions with their grace or whatever? “Nonetheless, I’m glad you had a good time.” Cas’s second comment only piqued Dean’s interest more.
“What happened there anyway? Did you even get to second base?”
“Second base?” Cas tilted his head, still unsure of all Dean’s slang and pop culture references. Dean rolled his eyes.
“Never mind.” He felt that familiar feeling from this evening etch itself back into his brain at the thought. Castiel with his hair messed up, shirt undone, hands all over him- wait. No. Dean. Stop it.
Why does he feel so…
jealous?
The conversation had died down as Dean’s angelic fantasies invaded his mind without much input from the man, so all that was left was an awkward silence as they pulled into the driveway of the abandoned house that Dean was calling base tonight.
After he stopped the car and before Cas could get out, Dean held a hand over Cas’s chest and felt him jump a little, then a surge of energy that must have been caused by his grace traveled up his arm and seemed to cause Dean to relax a little more.
“Dean?” Castiel tilted his head, his own mind racing with the sudden contact. He was almost overwhelmed by the rare physical touch and let his guard down, allowing his grace to seep through and enter Dean.
“Cas. Get in the house. Don't disappear on me, stay. Please.” Dean tried not to sound too pathetic as he pleaded for the angel to stay a little longer. Cas was still looking down at Dean’s hand as he responded, unable to properly function still. Eventually he brought his gaze up to meet Deans. Dean couldn’t help but swallow down a chirp as Cas looked up at him through perfect and heavy eyelashes and responded.
“Of course, Dean. Whatever you want.”
Whatever I want…
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Dean sipped down his whiskey with trepidation as he watched Cas flip pages of a book on human nature.
Dean had got it for him a while back so he may better understand the inner workings of people's actions and emotions. Dean couldn’t tell if it was working.
He studied him carefully this time because, unlike outside of the club, he had the time to. Cas had fixed his tie (mostly, it was still backwards) and smoothed his hair back out. His deep blue eyes were fixated on the page, lost in a concentration Dean had only seen while Sam was researching. It was admirable, really, the level of care and dedication he had to people, to him. The angel’s lips were parted open ever so slightly. They were just the perfect shade, Dean thought, but quickly shook his head, as if it would shake out all the lewd thoughts that were creeping in again. He threw back half of his drink and set it carefully on the table and looked up once again only to find Cas looking at him over the cover.
“Staring, Dean?” he asked. Dean turned an embarrassing shade of red and glanced away.
“What are you reading about now?” he deflected. Cas hummed and smiled a little, looking back down at the pages.
“Human’s fondness for each other and how they show it,” his eyes flicked back up to Dean’s, “blushing is an indicator.”
Dean grew even more red in response to what was clearly a call-out.
“Do you mind?” Cas asked and gestured to Dean’s glass. It confused Dean for a second because he knew Cas didn’t need to drink, or even breathe for that matter but regardless he nodded and watched, captivated as the angel downed the rest of the glass and set it down in front of the two.
He stayed even more captivated as Cas licked his top lip. Dean’s eyes followed all the while in pure awe.
This divine creature, created to love, yet also to kill, sitting here with him, reading the book he got him, sharing his drink. Castiel didn’t fall for the world. He fell for him, and finally Dean admitted that perhaps he was doing some of the falling too.
He swiftly stood up and leaned over the table, aggressively grabbing Cas by the tie and yanking him towards himself, connecting their lips. Cas eagerly wrapped his hand around the back of Dean's head and kissed back.
He tastes like cheap whiskey and honey.