Chapter Text
Chapter 7: With Determination
Lucanis should have re-think before coming with them to Arlathan Forest. It is easier when they are here on a mission, and have things to kill but now ? Now he has to endure seeing Rook babying Assan and keep the Itch from consuming him. He wanted to come with them because she had been avoiding him ever since the funerals and it was bothering him greatly. Each time she goes one-on-one with Illario she comes back drained and it was worrying him that maybe… maybe his cousin is doing something bad to her. It had kept him on edge and constantly irritated because of his lack of sleep. For short, Spite was pushing to take control and was slowly winning. He had to pluck a lot of pin feathers from his arms before coming with them and the tail… the tail was becoming harder to hide. He could feel the Itch slowly burning behind his flesh, the urge to peel himself raw, and his bones slightly tightening ready to pop at any time. It was more bearable when he was with her, though.
‘Want to play with friend !’ Assan chirps at him, probably referring to Spite.
“He’s not your friend buddy…” He whispers to it. He was hugging himself trying to stop his arms from trembling.
“Go see Davrin, Assan.” he heard Rook say, noticing how unwell he was. When the baby griffin rushed ahead she looked up at him. “Is everything okay ? You look dead…”
“It's Spite he’s…” He exhales, closing his eyes. “Have you ever kept yourself from itching to a point you had to scratch yourself or else you feel… like it's keeping you from doing anything ?”
“What do you mean ?” He hears her say, her voice filled with worry.
“In the Ossuary, Spite would be like that itch you want to scratch…” He opens his eyes and pulls on his leather gloves to look at his claws and darkening skin. “There’s a time where he needs to… take control or else I can't function properly.”
“Why do you do this to yourself Lucanis…”
“Because I do not want you to see me like this.” He said quickly. “No one should see this, Rook.”
“…But I am not everyone.” She put her hand in his gently. “Spite can be hard to handle. I can't imagine how painful this is to you… but you can let me help you Lucanis.” She smiled a little.
He scoffed before pulling away gently. “How do you always do that ?”
“Do what ?”
“Break apart my perfectly gathered clouds of doom.” He glanced back down, flexing his hands. “You deserve better than to deal with this.”
“Hey… You’re more than what you are going through.” She pumps him like she always does before joking. “And you wear it well.”
He felt himself holding a purr, the tail he was trying so hard to keep around his chest was starting to loosen. His emotions were getting overwhelmed by her. He was so close to doing something he might regret.
“This isn't a good idea” He murmurs getting so close to her now, almost backing her into a tree. ‘Please tell me to stop…’
“Sometimes a bad idea is better.” She answered not looking away, not afraid.
“ You like to walk a little too close to the edge.” His arm was above her head almost gripping at the bark, holding himself from gripping her instead. ‘Don’t make me do this…’
But she pushed herself even closer to him, her hand now on his chest feeling his drumming heart. “So do you…”
bite her bite her bite her
He should have been going for a kiss, like any normal person would. But Spite's thoughts melted with his, he was too strong to control and went straight for her neck.
He bit down hard pinning her to that tree, his tail sways behind him now free from its confinement. Rook let out a pained gasp, her entire body freezing under him. He could taste the iron tang of her blood hit his tongue and he purrs holding her close to him in an attempt to be reassuring.
“L-Lucanis s-”
“Hey !” Davrin's booming voice said. “Let her go, you beast !” He had his sword at the ready.
He pulls away then, hissing. His mouth was covered with crimson and his purple eyes glared at Davrin menacingly. He was in that in-between with his demon again, half turn but still there. Still there enough to realize Rook was holding her bloody neck falling to her knees. Because of him… Rook was hurt because of him. He let out a pained whine before using his supernatural speed to flee, he had to get away. He was turning and he had to get away he could've- mierda he could've killed her if Davrin hadn't been here !
He slowed down when he was far away from her. He was sweating as his body attempted to cool his scorching skin creating a disgusting film of slime.
There's no use wiping it off, it only gets worse as the real pain begins.
He was on his knees in an instant, his vision blurry and his mouth hurting. He pulled his clothes off him as his growing body was threatening to rip the fabric apart. His teeth were fusing together, pushing inward and out of his mouth to create that horrible beak. His jaws start reshaping around the beak to form his muzzle. He vomited the rest of the teeth that didn't form with the others, new ones already popping out and making him drool out blood. His spine arches and breaks, and he shakes his head trying to relieve the pain from his stretching neck. Tears filled his eyes as he whined in pain, feathers growing quickly on his arms to form his wings and on his back to his tail. He was losing consciousness but he faintly remembered hearing someone scream before everything faded into darkness.
It takes a while for Spite to adjust to his form, it’s not easy when his host resists his control. It always leaves some desperation and fear leaking through his own being making him on edge. That's why his first instinct is to shut whatever was crying so loudly next to him.
He growled, his maw was so close to the tiny figure, ready to rip its head from its shoulders. ‘You’re more than what you are going through.’ Rook's voice resonated in his mind and he stopped, his sharp teeth close to ripping the flesh of the sobbing thing.
He pulls away, now assessing what he almost did: a tiny Rook was crying and trembling in front of him, she was hugging her little limbs in an attempt to make herself smaller.
‘not… Enemy…’ He sniffs her golden head. ‘smells like wet leaves… Terrified.’ He slowly lay down like a beaten puppy, he didn't know what to do.
What would Lucanis do ?! How do you shut up a tiny Rook from crying further in his ears ? All this was making him increasingly angry but all his ‘helping’ was making Lucanis hate him more… So he'll try a new approach: the Rook’s way !
He gently nuzzles the little elf's arm in an attempt to calm her, Rook always calls him fluffy… Maybe that can help ?
Her cries slowed into a sobbing mess and she glanced up at him sniffling. She stretched her hand towards him and he let her, just like when Rook reached to pet him. She wasn't going to hurt him… It felt gentle. The little thing smiled petting his neck with both her hands now. He managed to stop her from screaming more.
His pupils dilated, his body loosening that build-up stress from all those emotions pouring out that small thing. Now she smells like fresh daisies, a mix of joy and curiosity.
“Crowwy !” She giggles still petting his dark fur.
Okay, now what ? Does he leave ? Does he bring her with him ? Does he wait ?! No, if it were Lucanis he would try to bring her back to her family. Every being in the physical plane has a family… That elf must have one too !
He stood back up and cooed at her. ‘Come tiny. Find family’ He sniff around for the same daisy scent in the air. Once he caught a whiff of it, he began to walk away from her.
“Crowwy wait !” She said, rushing with her little legs to follow him. She grabbed the tip of his tail to make sure she wouldn't lose him. Whatever, he has time to kill anyway.
They walk in the forest quietly. Here it feels less cagey than in the pantry where Lucanis usually trapped him when he took full control. He doesn't know how doors work and since the first accident, no one has come to let him out. It's not fair, he's always caged in the Ossuary and once he's out there he is trapped again ! Lucanis doesn't keep his promise to him… So he'll burst out of him as much time as he had to, to feel that freedom his host experienced.
“Crowwy look !” The small elf points to a cliff. “...I can't get back up to mommy.”
For now, he is determined to help the elf get back to her family without killing his way out of a situation that takes time… Rook manages to make Lucanis listen with patience and he can be patient.
It was easy for him to climb up that small cliff but the tiny Rook seemed not able to. He was looking down at her trying to climb over and over again to him but always kept sliding down. He was struggling to find a solution to help when he felt it, this raw determination coming from her. She pushes her sleeves up, whips the tears off her face and tries again. She was trying to claw her way up like he did. She was so close to making it, her face covered in tears and dirt but her eyes gleamed with resolve. He remembers the first time he talked to Lucanis, he was driven by that exact essence that made him accept his deal in the first place. He used to thrive in determination but now he was twisted, a ‘malicious spirit’ the Witch called him. Lucanis sees himself as a monster, so he becomes the monster fueled by spite.
“Crowwy help !” The little girl shouted, she was holding on to the edge before the rock gave in.
His head snapped forward and he caught her arm with his mouth just in time. His teeth pierced her delicate skin as he brought her up. She let out a pained scream as blood started to flow down her small arm and he felt her panic. He pulled away from her quickly, whining.
Shut up shut up shut up shut up !
His eyes flash red for a second, purple smoke coming out of his mouth and wings. He was about to bounce on her when an arrow pierced his shoulder and he whined.
“Stay away from my child, monster !”
A group of elves burst out of the bushes, pointing their bow at him. Ah, yes… He can smell their anger, their need to hurt him because he injured the kid…too much spitefulness.
‘In. MY. Way !’ He roars at them angrily, even if they can't understand him at all.
This was about to get messy fast if they started attacking him again. He can shred them in seconds, hurt them so bad they'll regret ever crossing HIS path-
“Mommy no !” The little girl put her entire being in front of him, her arms wild on each side acting as a small shield.
The smoke enveloping him vanished, and he suddenly remembered he was helping her find her family. This was her family.
“Dahlia please come here, slowly.” The woman said, lowering her bow.
The girl violently shakes her head. “No ! You hurt Crowwy !” She said sniffling, her arm was still visibly bleeding.
“It hurts you first baby… Please come back here.”
“Crowwy helped me !” She turns her small face towards him and smiles. “Please no hurting.”
He lowers his head and nuzzles her gently. At least someone thinks he’s helpful !
She hugs him by the neck before planting a kiss on his muzzle. “Thank you Crowwy.”
Then she walked towards her mother who seemed hesitant to continue attacking, but her kid was safe so they left him alone. The small elf waves goodbye to him before vanishing behind the bushes and his task is complete. He turns around and starts tracking Rook down, he has a lot to apologize for…
*--------------------------------*
“I swear I'll kill him ! What were you thinking bringing him along when he was like that Rook ?!”
Davrin was all over the place. It’s a good thing he carries bandages on him at all times, it seems he uses it more on her nowadays. It was hard to move her neck around, the bite was extremely deep but not deadly.
“I’m fine Davrin seriously… I doubt he wanted to kill me.” She said, rubbing her bandages to relieve some discomfort.
“Oh, are you ? You were bleeding out, how is this fine ?!” He started pacing back and forth in front of her. “Do we really need to search for him ?”
She sighs and stands up slowly. “Yes we do and I know what you’re thinking but trust me !” She patted his shoulder. “Just view this as a… A love bite or something.”
He snorts. “That's your definition of a love bite ? What are you a masochist ?”
She blushes embarrassed. “N-no…anyway ! Can we start looking for him ?”
Davrin rolled his eyes and whistled for Assan who was just hanging in the trees around them. Once the griffin was on the ground he let him sniff Lucanis gloves he had left behind.
“Find Lucanis boy.”
Assan squawks happily and flops his wings before flying ahead. They follow in an awkward silence, she knows he and Lucanis don't necessarily see eye to eye on a lot of things but sometimes she wishes they would find a common ground somewhere. Davrin is convinced an abomination has no place in the team because they are unpredictable and dangerous. Lucanis retorts back by saying Grey Wardens are much worse because they are literally blighted and can also be unpredictable and dangerous.
She had been going out more after Bellara and Harding insisted they could find a fade expert and a dragon hunter without her help. She needed a time off and she was stuck with the two men ever since. Their little walk in the forest turned into a demon hunt but she knew this would end up happening honestly. Lucanis avoids being around them a lot when Spite gets the upper hand and locks himself in the pantry. She had noticed the dark feathers lying around in the dining area, you’ll think a murder of crows had been grooming themselves in the kitchen but in reality, he was plucking them off, regularly. She enjoyed Spite's company too and she thought that Lucanis could relax and let him out here in the forest like they do with Assan when he needs to stretch his wings.
“Find his armor…” Davrin says, stopping behind Assan who was sniffing the clothes lying on the ground. “He must be around somewhere.” He tries to avoid looking at the pile of blood before walking again.
“Well at least we know we are looking for Spite…” She mumbles, picking up the armor quietly.
“Let's hope it's not murdering a Dalish clan.” He grumbles visibly annoyed to deal with this, again.
“I’m sure he's not… maybe he’s rolling in the grass somewhere.”
“Rook, it’s a demon, not a dog.” Davrin pinched his nose.
They kept searching for the demon but it was starting to get dark and she was worried Spite got himself in some trouble. It took them three hours to finally find him getting chased by a very happy griffin. He had an arrow stuck in his shoulder and his fur was covered in dirt -thankfully- not blood.
“Spite !” She gasps rushing towards him. “Where the fuck did you run off to ?!” She hugged him but the collar.
He purrs happily with his tail wagging before croaking at her. She managed to pull the arrow out of him with minimum backlash and he was on her in a second after.
“It's getting dark, Rook.” Davrin said behind her. “Just tell it to give Lucanis back so we can fuck off.”
Spite growls at Davrin, annoyed and refocuses on her. He visibly seemed sad and nuzzled her neck carefully where he bit her.
“I'm fine Spite… I know you both did not mean to hurt me its-”
She didn't have time to finish as the demon's slimy tongue ran all over her face. She could hear Davrin laughing and Assan chirping hysterically.
“Spiiiite shtoooop !” She tried to push the huge wyvern off of her but he was so heavy. “You have to bring Lucanis back.”
At that, the demon huffs grumpy and lays his head on her chest. She pets him gently, he always asks for attention when he’s near giving up his control over the body. She retrieves a blanket from her bag and wraps it on Spite, clearly too small for the beast but when Lucanis will be back, perfect enough to hide his naked self.
“Do worry about me Spite… I’ll be fine, this isn't your fault.” She smiles at him gently, not stopping petting his fluffy head.
His pearly eyes look at her intensely before slowly growing heavy and his body fumes and Lucanis is unconscious on her. She hesitantly starts petting his head too, he looks so vulnerable that way. She had never seen him sleeping not once, the man was really persistent about never resting and always had a refill of coffee at the ready when he got too tired. She’s glad in a way that when Spite takes control, Lucanis is forced to rest inside his own mind. She waited patiently for him to wake up on his own, Davrin was probably waiting back at the eluvian.
“nnngh…Rook ?” Lucanis mumbles slowly, opening his eyes sleepily.
“Morning sleepyhead.” She smiles at him lovingly.
He whines holding his injured shoulder and he pulls away quickly like he got a slap in the face. He stared at the bandages around her neck and paled as everything started crashing in.
“W-what happened did I-”
“Everything’s fine Lucanis, we found Spite and he got into no trouble.” She said, trying to reassure the poor tormented Crow.
He holds the blanket tightly around him and sighs. “I didn't want you to see this. Again.”
“Nothing I’m seeing makes me want to look away.” She pulls his armor off her bag and hands it to him. “I told you, I’ll be here for you.”
“… You always know what to say.” He takes his armor and goes to get changed behind a tree.
Once that was done, they walked back to the eluvian without talking about the bite he left on her. It was probably for the best, it would make them talk about feelings they would rather keep close to their chests. He haunts her mind enough as it is, telling him she actually enjoyed the bite would be to push their relationship into unknown territory.
Hopefully, this bite mark won't be the subject at the table tonight but knowing Davrin, he’ll do anything to play with Lucanis buttons. She’ll just have to be prepared to suffer everyone's questions and avoid making eye contact with the Crow the entire diner.