Chapter Text
15 Months Ago
Jake’s face was pressed into the mattress, ‘ uh uh uh’ was leaving his lips as his hands were fisted into the sheets. Sunghoon’s grip on his hips was rough as he kept grinding into him and saying the filthiest things Jake had ever heard in his life. He wasn’t coherent enough to completely grasp what was being said to him. Especially with Sunghoon’s hands tangled in the hairs at the nape of his neck and he grabbed his jaw, shoving his fingers into his mouth. Jake felt himself drip on the sheets below him.
“What is it, pretty girl?” Sunghoon asked, voice low and rough.
This was something new. Something that Sunghoon had asked for, surprisingly enough. He had said Jake was pretty and he wanted to emphasize it. They had tried saying pretty boy, but apparently Jake made a face when he heard it. Sunghoon decided to change directions and it was such a shock to him that his entire body flexed at the sound of the words rolling off of his lips. Jake remembers the smile he received as Sunghooon leaned down to press a kiss onto his lips.
“My pretty girl,” he grinned, smile stretching wide across his wondrous face.
Jake felt himself flush from his chest upwards to his face, “Hi.”
“Hi, baby,” Sunghoon mumbled against his lips and kissed him with such force that Jake didn’t know where to find his breath.
Jake was underneath him and trying to find words to tell him how he felt. It was hard when Sunghoon buried his face in his neck and began nipping under his ear. Jake melted into the pillow and let out gasps. It was all consuming, every bit of him was wired as he waited for the next touch, next kiss, next breath. Sunghoon filled all of his senses and he had never felt more beautiful than in that moment. He had never been the one to be handled with such great care or gentleness. It was always him being the one in control and leading the way through sex. With Sunghoon it was the opposite, he never had to think. Most of the time he didn’t have to lift a finger. It was just Sunghoon having his way with him.
Jake found that maybe he had never really liked all the sex he had before. He thought he did because it was all he knew, but Sunghoon was quick to ruin that for him.
“Tell me,” he teased, hand coming around to grip Jake’s cock.
Jake trembled, “Feelsgood.” He slurred his words together, mind in a haze of hormones and endorphins.
“More, baby. What feels good?” he slowed his thrusts and worked his hand over Jake, slow and steady.
He groaned and shoved his face in the pillow. Jake’s cheeks were hot and he took a deep breath. Back heaved as the air filled his chest and ribcage. Then it fell back into the mattress. He was exasperated and horny. Why did he have to work for it? How could Sunghoon not read his mind, yet? Hadn’t it been long enough?
Sunghoon tutted and grabbed Jake by the back of his neck and pulled him up, “What is it?”
Tears pricked Jake’s eyes, “You. It feels so good when you fuck my pussy.” He froze. That wasn’t supposed to slip out of his mind. It was just a far off fantasy of his that he had been determined to keep hidden from all. Except Sunghoon didn’t miss a beat.
“Yeah? You like it when I fuck your tight pussy? So desperate for it, baby. You’re like a bitch in heat,” he grinned into his neck.
Jake nodded, “I can’t h-help it. You f-feel so good.” He hiccupped.
Sunghoon pressed his face into the pillow again, “Poor thing. You can’t even think of new words with my dick in you? Fucking your cute pussy.”
Jake let out a loud whine, “Love it when you fuck my pussy.”
Sunghoon didn’t reply, instead he slid out of Jake and flipped him onto his back. Jake stared up at Sunghoon and if he could see himself he was sure that there were stars in his eyes. The pair panted as they stared at one another. Time began to move slowly and it almost felt as if it paused. There they were, immortalized in each other’s eyes. There was a tug Jake felt in his stomach and he knew that the both of them would remember this moment for the rest of their lives. It ached. He wanted so many that they began to blend together. He didn’t want to be able to pinpoint a specific one out of a handful of times, but for there to be so many he may have forgotten some on the way. Jake couldn’t help but to yearn for every moment he would be allowed to spend with Sunghoon. It seemed it was intertwined with his heart strings and that every cell of blood pumped through his organs was all for surviving until the next time he sees this stunning man.
Dark eyebrows were furrowed as he leaned into Jake’s face with a small smile, “Hi, beautiful. I wanted to see your face. You’re too pretty to hide it in a pillow.”
Jake let out a giggle and wrapped his arms around Sunghoon’s neck, pulling him in close, “You wanted me like that.”
“Yeah, I changed my mind,” Sunghoon mumbled against his lips. This kiss was different. There wasn’t an all consuming want behind it. It was slow and tender. Lips were moving languidly and Jake let himself relax as Sunghoon continued to kiss him slowly. It made his heart flutter just to hear the soft smacks. He moved his head to the side and Sunghoon grabbed his chin. The man turned his head and he peppered small kisses along his jaw and down his neck. They were closed mouth kisses and it left Jake feeling floaty. He didn’t even care if he got off at that point. If it meant to have the undivided attention of Sunghoon, then he was fine.
“Can we stop having sex and just kiss?” Jake asked, eyes wide and honest.
Sunghoon giggled, “Of course, baby. Whatever you want.”
They kept kissing until Jake couldn’t feel his lips anymore. Sunghoon had eventually turned them on their sides and pressed their chests together. Jake’s leg was hiked over his hip and they panted into each other’s mouths. A thought crossed Jake’s mind.
If this was a sin as he had always been told then he would gladly go to hell. He had never felt this way with anyone. He had never felt so overwhelmed with care and kindness like he had with Sunghoon. Under his hands he felt reverent, just to keep the taste in his mouth and feeling on his palms. He would pray everyday if it meant he got to keep this man close to his side. He wasn’t sure why this thought passed through his brain, but he needed it out.
Jake pulled back, “Do you believe in God?”
Sunghoon laid his head on the pillow and hummed, “I don’t really think about it. I’m just here.”
There was a long pause. Their eyes burning into one another. Jake felt it to the ends of his hairs on his arms.
“What about you?”
Jake let out a sigh and turned to the ceiling, “I don’t really know? If we’re talking about the Christian God then I’m kinda confused. He said that humans fucking suck and then kept us here? No one made him do that. Also, I don’t buy that being queer is a sin. I’ve only felt love with other queers. It’s been amazing and soul-soothing. I don’t really know how that can be wrong. Maybe there is something going on up there, but who am I to say? I mean, I’m less than a speck of dust in the universe.”
Sunghoon interlock their fingers, “This is why I don’t think about it.” He had a small smile on his face.
“Fuck you,” Jake laughed. “God forbid I wanna get to know you.”
Sunghoon pouted, “I thought you knew me.”
“I know your cock, and a little bit about you,” Jake teased.
“That’s rich,” Sunghoon cackled.
Jake raised an eyebrow, “Like you.”
Sunghoon laughed harder, “You know that you’re rich, too, right?”
Jake shrugged and squeezed himself under the man’s arm, “Shut up.”
His laughter eased into light chuckles as he rubbed up and down Jake’s back. The older man relaxed into his side and hummed. The room was quiet save for Sunghoon humming quietly as he scratched Jake’s back. It wasn’t a tune that Jake had ever heard and he assumed that it was something new for Sunghoon’s upcoming project.
“Do you feel what I’m drawing on your back?” Sunghoon asked, smile evident in his voice.
Jake shook his head, “No, what is it? A dick?”
Sunghoon snorted, “No, they’re little hearts. Look.” He brought his hand to Jake’s forearm and began tracing the hearts on him.
Jake felt a blush, “Oh. That’s really cute.”
Sunghoon scrunched his nose, “You’re really cute.” He leaned over and pecked him on his lips.
Jake kissed him back, tugging the blanket over him. Sunghoon rubbed his back and nipped at his lip lightly. It sent a shiver down Jake’s spine. This man barely knew him, but it was as if he knew everything that made him tick. It was lovely. Jake never imagined he’d meet anyone like that. His heart squeezed as he was reminded of one of their first conversations, over a blunt in Sunghoon’s car.
Smoke filled the air, making everything hazy as he watched Sunghoon take another drag. They had been discussing music for the first fifteen minutes of their meeting. The car had tension in the air. It was likely from two strangers meeting and knowing they were about to have sex with each other.
Sunghoon glanced over to Jake and gave him a small smile, “Might as well get this over with. Listen, I’m not looking for a relationship right now. I’m way too busy with my music and I won’t be able to give you the attention you would need in a normal relationship, so if that bothers you speak now or forever hold your peace.”
Jake shrugged, “I’m good. I just wanna get laid.” He was not good. It had only been twenty minutes and Jake felt a pull that he wouldn't be able to ignore. It was a warning sign, but he decided he was too horny to take heed to his body's cries.
Sunghoon choked on his smoke, “Love the honesty.”
Remembering his bold comment snapped him back to reality and fought off a cringe. Sunghoon must have felt him tense because he squeezed him and kissed his head.
“You’re okay,” he whispered into his hair.
Jake gripped his forearm and nodded, “I’m okay.”